You Found Me
by Kristylized
Summary: Edward Masen is nomadic vampire travelling with James and Victoria. While rampaging on the outskirts of Forks, he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow. It isn't long before he realizes there's more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible. AU.
1. Blindsided

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing._

_**Disclaimer:**__ I have fun playing with the characters, but I own nothing but the words to describe them; all characters, settings, and so on are property of their rightful owners._

_**Chapter:**__ One; Blindsided (and Preface)_

_**POV**__: Edward_

_**AN: **__This is my first venture into the Twilight fandom. Hope it's mildly enjoyable. It will get better, I promise. This chapter, and the next few, are almost exclusively setup._

xx

_**Chicago, Illinois, 1918**_

She smiled, her usually enticing grin sinister in the faint glow of the moon. Her voice, barely a whisper, carried easily to the long-haired blond man with the cold eyes standing opposite her.

The man nodded in agreement, looking distastefully at the form of the writhing teenaged boy they carried between them. He tightened his grip around the boy's ankles carelessly, ignoring the expression on the boy's face as he twisted and contorted in silent agony. Several scraps of cloth tightly bound around the lower half of his head kept him quiet.

The trio moved surreptitiously through the cobbled city streets at an inhuman pace, the moonlight their only guide through the darkeness.

After several minutes of stealthy navigation and successful avoidance of unwanted glances from curious bystanders, they reached their destination, a run down abandoned wood mill that looked to have been deserted decades ago, if the broken windows and horribly decomposed wood were any indication.

Dropping the boy unceremoniously on an ancient, desecrated instrument that masqueraded as a table saw, the couple looked into the face of their young captive as his eyes flickered beneath his eyelids.

The man looked to the woman now standing by his side, one of her long, pale arms wrapped tightly, possessively, around his mid-section, her fiery hair pressing against his shoulder. She paused to drop a seductive kiss upon his jaw.

The man didn't bother to hide his repulse; it was written plainly across his face. His whispered words were harsh and spiteful, lost to the wind rustling through the shoddy building. The cold chill didn't seem to faze the man, nor the woman. Only the boy shivered.

The man's dark eyes narrowed to slits as they flicked over the his trembling form. He prodded the boy's ghostly pale wrist, which had fallen from the edge of the dilapidated saw on which he lay, his disgust evident. The boy's arm dangled limply from the table, save for the occasional twitch as his body tensed, unconsciously aware of the man's cold touches. The man roughly traced the blue vein that lead to the boy's pulse point, muttering to the woman.

The woman rolled her eyes, her returned whisper just as snide as the man's previous retort. She snatched the boy's wrist away from the man's reach, tucking it upon his chest, a gesture that would have seemed tender if it weren't for her cold, dark eyes.

In a movement bordering between possessive and annoyed, the man yanked the woman away from the boy, pulling her tightly against his hard chest. The woman hissed angrily, turning swiftly in the man's arms, her palms resting flat against his chest as she gritted out several words from between her teeth, her voice as cold as her eyes. Like the words that preceded them, most of them were lost to the whistling wind, save for five words that were growled especially loudly.

Those five words were loud enough for a young girl passing by the old mill to hear. She cocked her head curiously as the phrase, "what he is capable of," floated ominously from the abandoned mill. Frightened by the possible sinister meanings of the words, she turned to run. She got two steps before everything went dark.

The last thing she was aware of were a pair of strong, cold hands cinching around her neck. Then nothing.

The man dragged the limp body of the girl into the mill with ease, as if she were nothing more than a rag doll. He tossed her into a dark corner carelessly. Intending to deal with her disposal later, he returned to the woman's side as if nothing of any importance had happened.

The woman turned only her head to the man as he strode back towards her, having dealt with the bothersome interruption. Her body continued to face the young boy, her cold hands combing through the mass of bronze hair atop his head, shinier and with more multidimensional flashes of copper and gold than only hours prior.

Once again her mouth contorted into a smile. The man scowled.

xx

_**Forks, Washington, 2005**_

"What the fuck?" I muttered, barely holding onto a growl. I tried futilely to suppress my bubbling anger at James' attitude. "No, I don't want a drink and no, I don't care how good they are."

I shoved the full glass of whatever disgusting alcoholic concoction he was trying to push on me back across the table. I glanced around the dingy little bar we were currently inhabiting, hoping our verging on too loud voices weren't drawing any unwanted attention.

"Aww, come on, _Eddie_," James crooned in a voice that was clearly meant to sound enticing, but fell flat as he couldn't contain the laugh he was hiding from showing in his voice.

"You're twenty-one now," he appealed, flicking my fake I.D. at me with a sneer the almost managed to be affectionate. He knew I hated that stupid nickname. And that even stupider I.D. My real age was laughably years from the displayed age of twenty-one.

I rolled my eyes at his antics. "Shut the fuck up, _Jamie_," I half-insisted, half-growled.

"Tsk, tsk." He grinned, the smile far from attractive on his ugly face. Okay, fine, he wasn't exactly ugly, he was actually a okay-looking motherfucker in that grungy, I'm-such-a-bad-ass kind of way, but he _was_ irritating the shit out of me and I therefore reserved the right to call him an ugly asshole if I wanted to. "Sensitive today, aren't we, little bro?"

"I'm like this every day," I snapped, not in the mood.

"Yeah, I know," he muttered in a deadpan whisper, but I heard him anyway. "Emo little shit. Would it kill you to be happy once in a while?"

I suppressed the urge to punch him and rolled my eyes instead. "Shut. Up. Or I'll kick your ass," I warned, though I had no intension of following through with the threat. I knew he'd never take me up on it. "And I am happy," I retorted. "When I'm not around you."

He scoffed. "Only because you have a built in cheat system," he declared, as his girlfriend Victoria slid into the booth next to him, across from me, returning from the bathroom where she had no doubt been perfecting her face with a multitude of unnecessary cosmetics.

With long, wavy red hair, pale flawless skin, and naturally dark red lips, she was gorgeous in a completely objective way and garnered more than a few stares wherever we went. She and James were equally self-absorbed and perfectly suited for one another. She pressed herself tightly against James' side in a calculated move that was anything but innocent.

I shrugged, smiling cockily. "Whatever helps you feel better about yourself _big brother_," I mocked, pleased that he was the one feeling disgruntled for a change.

Victoria smiled at him with the annoyingly coddling expression that appeared whenever she felt the need to defend me from James' relentless mocking. Her tone changed to match, a sickly sweet confection that made me want to hurl on both of them. "Are you bothering my little brother, Jamie?"

"Of course not, darling," James disagreed, an annoying lilt to his voice that declared the opposite to be true.

"I was simply asking why he refuses to drink the local drinks," James said innocuously. "If you're holding out for something better, that refined 'European' shit," he aired quoted, "or whatever it is you like, you're not going to find it in this podunk little town, alright?"

I barely masked an audible snarl, knowing this wasn't about my drink preferences at all. Not the kind he was pretending it was, anyway. Neither of them had touched their ordered beverages, either.

"Will you get over this already?" I snapped at James. His relentlessness was really grating on my nerves. "I can find my own drinks and I don't want to drink anything local. I happen to have a sense of taste. Unlike you losers who will slobber up anything you come into contact with."

Victoria smiled at me complacently, reaching across the table to touch my hand, in what would be a maternal gesture, if only she wasn't the least maternal person I knew. "You can do what you want okay, Edward? Jamie's just being a pain in your ass trying to get a reaction out of you, because… well, you let him. Ignore him, please."

I nodded numbly, sick of this conversation. We'd been having variations of it for years. Decades even. James would bother me about something, I'd prickle, and the hackles would go up until Victoria stepped in, attempting to cool both of us down, usually unsuccessfully.

"I just don't get it!" James continued ranting, in spite of Victoria's attempts at peacemaking. "Why does he have to be so fucking picky?" he asked Victoria incredulously. "It's a huge inconvenience for all of us! If he were just normal like the rest of us…"

"I. Said. I. Was. Fine." I growled, extremely irritated that James was talking about me without actually talking to me, like I was three-years-old. "I'm not thirsty. Do what ever _you_ want, I don't give a shit. I never asked you to worry about my needs. I never asked to live with you. If it's such an inconvenience, I'm perfectly fine on my own. I'm happier living in the city, unlike you barbarians. Who wants to live somewhere that barely qualifies as a village, let alone a town? I'm fine going to Seattle to get what I need. I can stay there, if you'd like. You won't ever have to worry about me being picky again!"

"Don't be so overdramatic, Edward," Victoria soothed as James rolled his eyes, further inciting the spark of anger I was feeling. "Of course we don't mind having you with us. You've always been an asset to this family."

"Sure," I scoffed. "Is that what this is? Feels more like a dictatorship to me, especially with Stalin over there," I sniped, nodding at James. The more I thought about him, the more anger bubbled up inside me.

"Whatever. I'm out of here," I announced, needing to leave before I hopped across the table and ripped James apart in front of the two lonely patrons and the bartender, the only other people that occupied the small, grimy bar at three in the afternoon.

As I stood up, Victoria called out to my retreating back. "Edward. Don't. You're acting like a child. If you want us to respect your opinions, you have to stop acting like a snotty thirteen-year-old."

"I'm seventeen, that's pretty much the same," I growled as I spun back to face them. "Don't pretend anything I do or don't do will make you respect anything I have to say. Despite what either of you may think, I _will_ do what I want and I don't need your permission or your _family_." I turned back to the door on my heel and storming out, a little faster than was probably wise in front of human witnesses.

xx

Once outside I was momentarily grateful that James and Victoria had chosen this tiny, stupid little town with its grey climate. Its permanently overcast state made it easy for me to remain inconspicuous, even though it was only mid afternoon, and the sun was still sitting fairly high in the sky.

I didn't mind rain, usually. In fact, I found the droplets soothing and warm in contrast to my icy skin, but today, as I trekked through the expansive, lush green forests surrounding Forks, I found myself glad it was dry and merely overcast. Muddy clothes were not my favourite look.

Unlike James and Victoria, who didn't mind getting down and dirty, I preferred to keep it clean. I didn't like having to be reminded that I was essentially a wild animal. If I didn't have to muss or tear my clothes, I wouldn't.

James and Victoria were continually baffled by my desire to keep my appearance clean cut, as it went against our feral vampire nature. What the fuck ever. As if it meant a shit to me, whether I fit in. I felt like an outcast most of the time anyway, simply because I had a conscience.

I took pride in the fact that I was different from the rest of my kind. I hadn't chosen to become a vampire. I had simply woken up one morning, only to be told that that strange burning in my throat was blood thirst, and that those strange noises in my head were a gift. The gift of mind-reading.

A gift. Sure. Maybe sometimes.

It certainly did afford me an added understanding of the people around me. I was intuitive as a human. That's supposedly why I had this ability now. Maybe that was true, but I don't recall being all that insightful as a human. I don't recall much at all from my previous life, in fact.

The only ones who have ever really been able to thwart my gift, and even then, erratically, are James and Victoria. They had been able to do so since the moment I awoke as a vampire, though I didn't realize it at the time, as theirs were the only minds I really had access to then, waking up in that abandoned wood mill. Even when their mind shields are in place, they aren't able to hide completely. I still get inklings of their emotional states, flashes of dialogue and what is in their line of sight, but much less steadily than in a free, unblocked mind.

Knowing what everyone around me was thinking, however, gave me a unique perspective for a vampire. It was the primary reason I chose not to hunt innocents.

Yeah, that was the strange drinking preference that James wouldn't shut the fuck up about. Like not wanting to be a cold-blooded murderer of innocent people was so horrible.

As a vampire I needed the sustenance of human blood. There was no way around that. But at least, if I had to hunt humans, I could hunt the worst of their kind. The murderers, the rapists, the abusers. The scum who would probably rot in jail, anyway.

What did it really matter if I sent them to their fate a few decades early? They all had it coming. Most of the men I killed deserved much worse for their crimes.

I'm not proud of my status as killer, but I don't regret it. I am, however, proud to say that I have never killed a woman in all of my existence. Not one.

James has assured me that they taste ten times better than men, but I have no intension of finding out if he is correct in his assertion. The sick fucker was probably just trying to mess with my head in a twisted attempt to alter my feeding habits to his advantage. As if I'd listen to a word out of his fucked up mouth.

He absolutely hated that I preferred to live near large cities where crime is easier to pinpoint. If he had his way we'd live in little towns like Forks all the time. He wasn't quite so barbaric that he'd prefer to live wild, like many of our kind do, especially not since my gift afforded us a sizable income and the ability to live comfortably on the outskirts of human civilization.

We moved often, though, usually to small towns with easy access to larger cities for me. A few months was about as long as we ever stayed in one place. The risk of becoming conspicuous was high when there were three feeding vampires in one area. Especially when two of them exercised no discretion in their hunting habits, picking whoever smelled best as their next meal.

I opened my mind, listening for the thoughts of anyone around me, not wanting to run into any humans. Finding nothing, I rampaged through the greenery around me, leaving a wake of destruction as I took some of my frustration out on the surrounding flora.

My mind had a slightly larger range than even my sharp vampire hearing, so I focused on listening for the sounds of minds around me, allowing physical noise to fade into the background. I didn't want to run into a human while I was so riled up. I hoped the area remained as deserted as it seemed to be at the moment.

I snapped several large tree limbs off an ancient maple as I propelled myself deeper into the forest, attempting to release my frustration at James through exertion. I knew from past experience that if I continued to bottle up my anger, it would only lead to an altercation between James and I. That was not something either of us needed. I reached to touch the scarred spot on my thigh where James had bitten me several years previous when an argument had come to blows.

I was pleased to report that I wasn't the only one with scars. James had a few of his own thanks to me. In spite of the unique ability he and Victoria had to shield their thoughts from me, when James got especially angry, as he did in the midst of a fight, the barriers broke down and I was left with a distinct tactical advantage.

The idiot had taught me everything I knew. I had the advantage of being thirty pounds lighter and therefore faster. That coupled with the ability to read his mind during the intensity of a fight, when his emotions and thoughts weren't as easily shielded, and I was easily able to inflict some intense damage. Yet he continued to bait me. Idiot. He might be an idiot, but after more than eighty years together we'd become accustomed to one another in our own twisted ways. He and Victoria were all I had ever known. That, and little else, was what stopped me from throttling him most days.

I stopped briefly in my rampage of tree snapping to listen around me again, hoping to pinpoint the telltale babble of human thought. Blessedly there was none. I wasn't in the state of mind to deal with humans right now.

Even though Forks was surrounded by virtually uninhabited wilderness, there were still plenty of trails for humans hiking and biking and doing other boring and useless things. I had never understood the appeal of spending hours navigating a dirty, disgusting forest in the name of fun, working up sweat and an equally disgusting odor to match.

My now very vague memories of life as a human reminded me that even in my previous life I had preferred more refined hobbies, like piano playing and running track, though I hadn't done either since I had become a vampire.

For a moment, I wondered wistfully what it would be like if I played now, with my superior reflexes and perfect recall, even though it had been decades since I had touched the ivory of piano keys. I made a mental note to find a piano bar in the city and give it a try some time.

The thought of being able to play made me happy and cooled my temper considerably more than mutilating countless trees had. I wondered why I had never considered the prospect of trying to play before. It seemed an obvious mode of relaxation to me, now, especially given my memories.

One of the few memories I had retained from my human life was of being taught to play piano by my mother. I couldn't have been more than five or six, based on my flushed, youthful appearance and wide, innocent eyes. I looked just like a smaller version of my mother. A fact for which I was grateful. A quick glance in the mirror was all I needed to be reminded of my roots.

Jade green. That's the colour my eyes had been. Just like my mother's. A softer green than the deep emerald forest that surrounded me, but equally as bright. My youthful exuberance and love for my mother radiated out of them, making them shine, even in the faded memory.

They were actually quite beautiful, if I did say so myself, even through the haze through which I saw all of my human memories. Much nicer than the burgundy shade vampirism had afforded me.

It made me nostalgic to think about how I had lost that piece of my mother, as well. I had held on tightly to the few memories I'd retained since my change, as they were one of few things that made me feel good and whole.

I allowed myself to wonder about my parents… where they were, if they were thinking of me and what they would think of what I had become. My family had never been particularly religious, but my mother had shuffled my father and I to church every Sunday, as was proper, and instilled in me a faith in a higher power. God, I wasn't so sure of, but I believed in something nonetheless, and hoped my parents were happy wherever they were.

I hoped that they knew I was doing the best I could with the existence that had been handed to me. I was doing my best to be a good man. I hadn't asked for this life and I'd dealt with it the only way I knew how to while retaining some of the principles my parents had instilled in me.

I lithely hopped up onto a tree branch ten feet above my head, using it to propel myself into a tree several yards away. I was feeling much lighter and less angry than I had when I first stormed away from James and Victoria and the fucking annoying, overbearing, condescending attitude they shared in regards to me. Perhaps I wasn't quite as calmed as I had thought, I conceded, my skin prickling at the thought of my 'sister' and her boyfriend.

At least that was the ruse this time around. Our parents had been mysteriously killed in a car crash and I was left to be raised by my older sister and her live-in-boyfriend. It was better than the multiple times that they had pretended to be my adopted parents. I really fucking hated that James and Victoria appeared older than me, about twenty-six and twenty-three years old, respectively. It always left me in the position of child. At one hundred and four that routine was getting old.

At least they didn't attempt to force me to return to the purgatory that was high school just because of my appearance put me around age seventeen. They were content to allow me to claim I was home schooled, for which I was grateful. A couple thousand annoying teenagers smelling like a strange mix of rancid (thanks to far too much Juicy Couture perfume) and edible (thanks to the blood flowing through their veins) while thinking about how 'fuckin' weird,' or 'OMG hot' I was, was not my idea of a good time. No, I got those thoughts enough from passing random strangers on the street who expressed a similar interest in my vampire allures through more articulate (albeit not much) thoughts.

As a human I had graduated from high school early, at age seventeen, and was preparing to enter into the military when I had been struck with the Spanish Influenza and eventually vampirism, when James and Victoria had decided to spare me from death. Or that's what I had been told. I had no recall of any of those events. Which was quite depressing. I didn't even remember getting my diploma.

At least I'd graduated early. That meant I had to have been moderately intelligent, unlike that dumb fucker, James. One of a few details I had gleaned, during breaks in his mind shield, was that he had dropped out of high school at age thirteen to work on his family farm in Idaho. Why he was thinking about that? Beats me. I guess when you're that stupid there isn't much else to think about except how stupid you are.

Was I bitter? Hell yes. But the fact remained James was a dumb fuck. Though, admittedly, even the stupidest vampire could run circles around the intelligence of a human.

Unlike James and Victoria, I didn't really mind being around humans for non-meal related purposes. Yes, I found plenty of their thoughts annoying, but I hadn't found that the average vampire – we had run into many over the years, through our travels – had thoughts any more appealing. Hunger and lust, or both, were almost always at the forefront of the minds of both species. Vampires who parade around as if they are a superior species are just as ignorant as the humans they mock.

I pushed off the branch of the large oak that I had been standing in, propelling myself to the forest floor. I felt much better now that my thoughts had had time to cool after the argument with James.

I began to head back in the direction I come from, surprised to find nearly two hours had passed since I'd left Victoria and James. I moved much more quickly than I had as I entered. I wouldn't look like much more than a blur to human eyes.

Sprinting shot the last vestiges of anger from my body, as I allowed the speed to thrill me. I ran without really thinking about where I was going. It didn't matter; my internal compass as a vampire was unfailingly accurate.

I slowed as I neared the perimeter of the forest, where the foliage cleared to make way for the town of Forks. I hopped up into a tree as I entered a clearing to decrease my visibility, in the unlikely case someone could see me from the highway. The pungent fuel being burned by the cars on the lone road through the town was heavy in the air.

I was listening for human thought as I prepared to navigate into the town when I was bowled over by the most powerful scent that I had ever come across in my life. A gust of wind brushed through the foliage around me, the force of the scent crashing over me like a tidal wave.

I stumbled, and embarrassingly enough, fell out of the tree I had been crouched in. I hit the ground twenty feet below me with a loud thud, just barely managing to recover enough to land on my feet, though with much less grace than I usually managed.

From across the thirty foot clearing, a head shot up, alarmed by the thump I'd made as I'd landed gracelessly. I was met with the most beautiful pair of brown eyes I had ever seen. They looked like melted milk chocolate; liquid and warm, illuminated by the fading sun that barely peeked through the dull grey. If I had been proud to have inherited my mother's emotionally charged jade eyes, they seemed like nothing in comparison to the depth of feeling these eyes transmitted.

I usually prided myself of being quite articulate, but at the moment, I was having trouble thinking of anything beyond a few adjectives, all synonyms of 'pretty,' as I stood dumbstruck at the edge of the clearing.

I blinked and took another look, making sure I wasn't imagining up an angel after several decades alone.

Still there.

I blinked again when I realized I wasn't hearing the usual murmur of thoughts and feelings. I strained, attempting to hear something, anything, but still her mind was silent. Absolutely nothing. Not a single thought. Not a hint of the emotions displayed so gratuitously in those brown eyes. Was she mentally challenged? No, she was holding a book. She could read. So she must be proficient at blocking her thoughts. More proficient than James and Victoria, even. Never, had anyone blocked me so completely.

The only sound registering was the rapid pounding of her aromatic blood as it passed through her heart. Her pulse was moving so rapidly it almost sounded like fluttering.

What the hell? Never, in all of my existence, had a human had the ability to mask his or her thoughts from me. I simply hadn't considered it possible.

Then, the absolute worst thing that could have possibly happened, did. The wind swirled around us, sending the mouth-watering scent that had distracted me in the first place back in my direction. Venom pooled in the back of my throat.

Scared out of my wits that I'd murder the beautiful girl in a matter of seconds if I didn't get away at that precise moment, I fled back into the forest at the speed of lightning, not caring that I would look like the mythical figure that I was. She would probably think she had been imagining things and forget it ever happened. I didn't even turn to allow her expression to register as I fled. I couldn't, not without risking her life and that was something I wasn't willing to do.

Our whole encounter had taken place over approximately 3.2 seconds, but I was left deeply shaken, and something else… mildly proud of my control. Proud that I had managed to restrain myself, proud that my abstinence from killing innocents for eighty-seven years had allowed me enough control over my blood thirst to save the angel that had appeared to me.

For the first time ever in my existence, I walked on unstable legs, heading deeper into the forest, to allow myself a wide circle around the clearing where the angel sat. To keep her safe from me.

I leaned shakily against the massive trunk of an old fir tree, completely overwhelmed and drained.

Holy mother of Jesus.


	2. Optimistic

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing._

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN: **__And, we're introduced to Bella this chapter... Hope you all enjoy :) Thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, alerted and favourited, you guys inspire me to continue. For anyone interested, I'm going to attempt to contribute weekly to Teaser Mondays on the Fictionators blog._

xx

"But, Dad-"

Charlie cut me off before I could even start to counter his unnecessary punishment. "Bella, I meant what I said. You're grounded. You knew I didn't like you kids riding around on those death traps, and you did it anyway. Billy's warned Jake as well. What would you do if one of you got injured? Remember when your class did blood typing last year? You had to be carried out of the classroom. Now imagine Jake was all bloodied up after he crashes one of those hunks of metal… what then? How would you be able to help him?"

I took a deep breath, careful to keep my voice level. In the past year and a half that I'd been living with Charlie, his fatherly overprotectiveness had grown by leaps and bounds. It was starting to become overbearing.

Considering I hadn't so much as seen the man for more than a few weeks each summer since I was two, until less than two years ago, it was a little ridiculous how protective he'd become. I wasn't accustomed to having any parental controls with Renee as my primary caregiver. I knew how to take care of myself just fine.

"I'm careful, Dad," I insisted calmly. "You know me. And Jake's like a son to you. You know we're not reckless. We keep under the speed limits and obey all traffic signs."

Charlie sighed, his moustache quivering. "That's not the point. The point is: motorcycles are dangerous, and I won't have you riding around on one. Those bikes were barely serviceable when–"

"They _were_," I interrupted. "They're not anymore. You know Jake is a great mechanic. You trusted him fix my truck, didn't you?"

"Of course," he relented, "but these bikes… they were scrap metal before the two of you got a hold of them. I –"

"And my truck wasn't?" I questioned.

Charlie continued as if I hadn't interrupted. "It's the machinery that I don't trust, not you."

I sniffed at the horrible parental line. It was just below 'because I said so,' in terms of overused, but otherwise meaningless lines from parents. "Then how come I'm the one grounded?" I muttered sarcastically.

Charlie's moustache tweaked in amusement as a smirk tugged at the corner of his lip. He quickly smoothed it into a neutral, "serious dad" expression. "Because I expressly asked you not to do something, and you did it anyway," he replied evenly.

"You call what you did asking me?" I retorted, irritated. "I thought you were just letting me how you felt, you know, making conversation? I didn't realize it was a warning. You didn't even look up from the TV when you brought it up!"

"Do we really need to get into this? The technicalities are irrelevant," he stated in the voice he reserved for his work as police chief. "I'm not rescinding the punishment. You're grounded. Two weeks." His voice softened marginally. "I like the kids from the rez, too, Bells, but maybe you should think of this as an opportunity to make friends with some of the kids at your school? You rely on Jake and his friends too often. You know, that little Alice Cullen–"

"Fine," I growled, "I'm grounded. I get it. I don't need your interference in my friendships, too."

Before Charlie could interrupt with another unneeded, "caring parent" line, I turned on my heel and stomped up the small, wooden staircase to my room. I wasn't usually one for tantrums, but Charlie was typically more of a strong and silent type. I wasn't used to intrusions into my life and his attempts to take care of me. I'd been fending for myself for 18 years.

I heard Charlie's footsteps begin to follow me for several steps before he wisely thought better of trying to talk to me, moody teenage daughter extraordinaire, and turned back around. A few moments later I heard the click of the TV being turned on, and then the obnoxious sounds of the crowd at some sporting event.

Silent Charlie. Much better. Back to the status quo.

I continued the march to my room, snatching the first book I came into contact with off my bookshelf, not even bothering to check the title. I headed back down the stairs, much more silently than on the way up.

Hoping that whatever sports event was playing on SportsCenter was keeping Charlie's attention diverted, I headed for the backdoor, exiting the house as quietly as someone who is as graceless as me could. The screen door closed behind me with an annoyingly loud thwack, just to spite me.

Not bothering to check if Charlie had heard, I crossed the yard and immediately set off down the well worn path to behind the house.

When I'd first moved back, Jake and I had discovered this awesome little clearing about half a mile beyond the tree line. Thankfully, it was close enough that even I, directionless as people came, couldn't get lost. I'd been there often enough that there was practically a trail trodden into the grass and fallen foliage. It was a place I went to sit, read, and otherwise clear my mind.

The trek to the clearing was uneventful. I only managed to trip on a tree root once, and suffered a few minor scratches from errant tree branches. It was worth it for the serenity and peace of mind the little meadow brought me. Sitting down in the long grass that spanned across the clearing, I could feel the tension that had gripped me since the argument with Charlie melt away.

The meadow was actually much more beautiful when it was sunny out, but in Forks those instances were few and far between. I frowned up at the large overcast skies, praying for a little glimpse of the sun I could see hiding shyly behind the clouds.

Crossing my legs, I propped open the book I'd snatched off my bookshelf, snorting at the collection I'd selected. Angela Carter. A satirical collection of fairytales, a good chunk of which were re-imaginings of Little Red Riding Hood. Jake and the guys from the rez had been calling me Little Red Riding Hood since I'd discovered most of my closest friends were werewolves.

I hadn't read these since sophomore year, back in Phoenix. The guys would probably get a kick out of this once I told them.

I flipped through the collection, settling on one of the Beauty and the Beast tales, immersing myself. I was snapped from my reading reverie by faint sounds of crashing and crunching in the distance. It sounded like several trees were careening to the forest floor in rapid succession. Far too many of them to be a natural occurrence.

My brow creased. Maybe some of the guys were back there playing around? It was a little far from the reservation, though. What would they be doing smashing trees around, anyway?

"Jake? Embry? Quil?" I called tentatively, feeling more than a little stupid. Would they hear me, even if they were there? They had amazing hearing in their wolf forms, but the noises sounded to be a good mile away.

No answer. Not that I had really been expecting one.

As abruptly as the strange noises had appeared, they faded and I was once again left to enjoy the tranquility of my little meadow. I sighed. It must have been the wind blowing loose the decayed branches of old trees, after all.

I returned to my book, quickly picking up where I had left off. I hadn't even reached the end of the page when another noise roused my attention. The leaves on a nearby tree rustled obnoxiously, yet the air around me remained perfectly still, not even the slightest breeze ruffling my thin knit sweater.

Probably a squirrel, I attempted to convince myself. I lifted my book, as if the mere collection of flimsy pages could protect me from whatever wild animal was lurking in the shadows. I bravely, or maybe stupidly, attempted to read the next lines, but my eyes refused to focus, paranoia griping all of my attention. The breeze abruptly reawakened, sending an eerie chill down my spine.

Then a thump.

My head shot up in alarm, the hair on my arms prickling. Instead of the wild animal I was expecting, I was met with the most beautiful boy I'd ever seen. I'm pretty sure my mouth fell open a little bit.

The beautiful boy rose from his crouching position, his eyes widening at the sight of me, as if I was the extraordinary one. Had he just jumped twenty feet from the branch above his head? How had he not broken something? He didn't look remotely injured, or even in pain. In fact, he looked perfect in altogether too many ways.

I felt my brow crease in wonder as I stared unabashedly. He stood shrouded mostly in shade, but one side of his body was turned slightly towards the sliver of sunlight that had managed to peek through the overbearing grey.

He was well-built, lean and tall, with bright eyes that gleamed at me, even from across the clearing. I couldn't make out their colour at a distance, but I imagined green. He seemed like he should have green eyes. A sparkling seafoam green, maybe.

His bronze hair captured the sunlight, reflecting it back like varnished metal. His features were sharp and masculine but not severe. The cut of his jaw-line verged on sinful. I could feel the heat rising in my face, embarrassed to be near a specimen of such perfection with my all around mediocrity.

Even his porcelain skin was flawless. All of these things were awe-inducing, but they weren't what held my attention. He was magnificent, yes… but was that… sparkling? Wherever the sun caressed his skin, the reflected light seemed almost prismatic, dappled with brilliant colours.

I blinked, and he was gone.

Hoping the beautiful mirage would reappear, I blinked again. No such luck. Was it possible to dream with your eyes open?

Unable to leave, hoping maybe he would return if I waited long enough, I sat in the meadow until the sun started to descend in the sky.

I didn't read a single word further in my book.

xx

The next day passed with mind-numbing slowness. I sustained myself throughout the day with daydreams of the beautiful boy from the meadow.

There was something about him that consumed me. I couldn't get him out of my head, not that I'd tried too hard. It wasn't even that he was beautiful – though he was – it was the mystery that surrounded him. Who was he? Where had he come from? Was he even real? Did anyone else know who he was? This town was small. How had I never met him?

I couldn't bear to ask. I liked thinking that he was mine alone.

I didn't know his name, so I'd taken to referring to him in my head as my beautiful boy. I blushed a little every time I thought of him as mine. I knew logically that I had no claim to him, but in that intense moment, when his eyes had bore into mine, he'd felt like mine, as if there was some otherworldly force holding us together.

Maybe I was just crazy. I didn't know he wasn't a figment of my overzealous imagination.

He appeared in my thoughts intermittently during class, without conscious thought on my part. One moment I was following along with Mr. Mason's class reading of Hamlet, engrossed in Elizabethan English, and the next thing I knew I was staring out the window at the lush green of the uncut grass behind the school wondering what my beautiful boy was doing.

When this had happened for the third time, Angela, my seatmate and one of the few friends I'd made at school since I'd relocated back to Forks, nudged me in the arm and shot me a questioning glance, probably wondering why I was being such a space cadet today. I was usually a fairly focused and efficient student.

I blushed furiously and shrugged, manufacturing a large fake yawn, suggesting that I was just tired. I was a terrible liar. Even if she didn't believe me, she didn't ask any further questions.

It was irrational, but I was unwilling to share my beautiful boy with anyone, even Angela.

I spent most of my lunch hour scouring various books in the library. Anything that would offer some rationalization for what I had seen the day prior. There was nothing. There was so such thing as a skin disorder that made one appear to shimmer, unless sweat counted. Mythology was a similar lack of help, as was my research on hallucinations. By the time lunch period came to an end, I was even more frustrated than before. I shut the book I was perusing forcefully, startling a couple of juniors at the next table.

When the bell rang, signaling the end of the last period of the day, I was relieved. I'd never felt that way before. I was one of the people who always enjoyed school and the process of learning. Today I just wanted to go home and get to my meadow.

The punishment Charlie had doled out the day before didn't register in my mind. I hadn't considered doing anything after school but returning to the meadow. I rushed home, as quickly as my rusty truck would allow. I didn't bother going inside. I shouldered my backpack and rounded the house, heading purposefully towards the gap in the tree line.

I peered up at the grey, overcast sky, mildly disappointed that I wouldn't get to see my beautiful boy in the sun. I'd take him however he came.

My pulse was racing, my heart thundering in my chest in anticipation. I glanced at my watch. It was shortly after four that he'd appeared yesterday; it was barely after three now. Maybe I was grasping at straws, hoping it would make a difference what time of day it was, but I couldn't help it. I needed to see him again. Better to be early than to miss him altogether.

The trees dispersed the closer I got to the clearing, my heart pounding more rapidly with each step. At this rate I'd burst by the time I made it to the meadow. I forced myself to take a deep breath and focus on not hyperventilating before carefully taking another step. I'd been so focused on my breathing that I hadn't paid attention to my footing, and careened over a protruding tree root, stumbling face first into the meadow.

"Way to make an entrance, Bella," I muttered to myself as I peered around me, anticipation ebbing into every corner of my body. It disappeared as quickly as it came.

He wasn't here.

I wasn't sure which emotion reigned supreme, relief that he hadn't witnessed my tumble or disappointment that he wasn't here. That wasn't true. I definitely knew which emotion triumphed. I sighed, berating myself for my optimism. At least it wasn't four yet. There was still time.

I pulled myself off the ground and folded myself into a cross-legged position in the centre of the meadow, carefully facing myself in the direction he'd come yesterday.

I unzipped my ancient navy Jansport bag, grimacing as the loud noise filled the air. If I hadn't already scared away every living thing in the vicinity by falling flat on my face, that would most certainly do it. I snatched my latest reading assignment from the mess of papers, and tried fruitlessly to get some work done.

I couldn't concentrate for the life of me. My eyes continually flicked to the tree nearest to where my beautiful boy had appeared, waiting, hoping that he'd be there.

After I'd checked my watch for the tenth time in so many minutes, I gave up pretending to do anything productive and stared openly at the tree, willing him to appear. My telekinetic powers must have been void or severely out of touch because nothing happened. Not even a leaf so much as fluttered.

By the time four o'clock rolled around, I had resolved to take things into my own hands. He'd come from that tree, yesterday, right? Maybe he was just shy?

Being uncharacteristically bold, I approached the tree purposefully and looked up. Not there. Though it was kind of hard to tell, with all those leaves…

Sighing deeply at what I was about to do, knowing it had the potential for disaster, I rolled up my sleeves and grabbed onto the branch nearest to the ground, and after several moments of awkward flailing, managed to hoist myself up onto it.

I grinned widely at my success and quickly set about shimmying further up the tree, taking extreme care. I'd made it six or seven feet off the ground, when disaster, or rather my omnipresent clumsiness, struck. My sneaker slipped on the damp bark, and I went tumbling to the ground. Thankfully, I managed to avoid hitting any branches on the way down. The grassy meadow was forgiving, so all I ended up with was a slightly sore behind and another helping of disappointment. So much for that.

From my splayed position on the ground, I stared up into the tree longingly, wishing I had my father's athletic ability rather than his awkwardness.

I was about to gather myself up when my skin erupted into prickles. My hair stood on end; just like I had the last time the beautiful boy had appeared. The feeling was uncanny; familiar and unfamiliar all at once. He was here, I could feel it. I glanced around optimistically, only to be met with the sting of frustration.

I pulled myself up, rubbing my skin, soothing the tingly feeling before proceeding to shakily stumble back to where I'd abandoned my backpack, to continue the wait.

As the sun lowered behind the horizon, I could feel my mood also plummet. The greyness of Forks got even greyer.

He wasn't coming.

So much for optimism.

Stupid optimism.

xx

I shuffled back home before the sun could set completely, more than a little disillusioned. I was so absorbed in my thoughts, I didn't register Charlie until his arms were already wrapped around my shoulders, gripping me tightly.

I looked at him in confusion; it wasn't like him to be so affectionate.

"Where the hell have you been?" he asked frantically. "I've been worried. I came home from work, found your truck and the place empty."

I shrugged remorsefully. "Sorry, Dad. I went out to the meadow to read and do my homework. I guess I lost track of time. I should have left a note."

"It's okay," he said gruffly.

I ducked my head guiltily, unable to resist adding a last "sorry."

"I, uh… I'm going to go call Billy… let him know you're home. I called him to see if you and Jake had run off, since you were grounded…"

I nodded mutely. I hadn't thought about Jake since yesterday, much less spoken to him. I hadn't even let him know I'd been grounded. I made a mental note to talk to him tomorrow. I was suddenly too tired to do anything but sleep now. Disappointment took a lot out of a girl.

Jake, homework, everything could wait until tomorrow.

I staggered up the stairs wordlessly, brushed my teeth and changed into my pajamas, before slipping into bed. I was asleep in moments, thoughts of my beautiful boy pervading even my dreams.


	3. Surprise

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**_ _Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing._

_**Chapter:**__ Three; Surprise_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_**AN: **__Back to Edward, today. He's more fun to write, anyway…_

_Hope you all like :) Thanks for the continued support through faves, alerts and most of all reviews. I smile at my computer like a crazy person when I read them._

xx

I sprinted through the forest purposefully, my strides long and efficient. I headed for the pretty little meadow, avoiding the tangle of branches and leaves that littered my path with ease.

When I had first stumbled upon the meadow a week ago, I had been too consumed with the girl who occupied it to take in my surroundings. Since, I had learned to appreciate the little meadow for the oasis that it was.

Since my change I had been hyper-aware of my environment at all times; it was a force of my predatory nature, part of the drive to survive embedded in every living creature. But there was something about the girl with the brown eyes that acted like an electrical short to my system, shutting down all my senses, forcing me to see nothing but her. It was intoxicating, to be entirely truthful. I wondered offhandedly if that was what it felt like to be drunk, having no recollection of feeling that way as a human.

I knew it wasn't wise to want to know her. In other circumstances she might be a part of my diet, but fuck it all if she wasn't the most intriguing person I'd met in the last century. How had one so young and fragile constructed such a mind shield more formidable than my vampire companions, who had been alive for centuries?

James and Victoria had been rather nonchalant about the entire debacle. My mind lapsed back to the week prior.

"Back from your tantrum?" James asked snidely as I approached him and Victoria, having followed their scents from the bar to the lounge of the small bed and breakfast they'd rented for our stay in Forks. "How many trees suffered this time? Or are you an environmentalist as well as a humanitarian?"

I kept quiet. James was just trying to bait me. An angry response would be more satisfying to him than none at all.

"Edward?" Victoria looked me up and down carefully. "You look off. Is everything all right?"

"Of course he looks off, baby," James answered sweetly. "He's been romping around the forest for the last few hours. You know Eddie prefers not to get dirty." His tone reeked of innocence, despite the horribly unimaginative innuendo.

Victoria rolled her eyes. "Beyond that, James. You're a vampire. Use your senses," she chided. "I hear they're supposed to be quite impeccable."

James paused, his scarlet eyes scanning me more carefully than before, a frown overtaking his previously crude smile. "Vic's right, dude. You look fucked up."

I sighed at the unnecessary concern. "I'm fine. I just had a bit of an out of body experience."

"An out of body experience?" Victoria asked, confused. She exchanged glances with James who looked equally perplexed.

"Yeah. You know, where you don't feel quite like yourself, and it seems as if you're watching someone else live your life?" I explained, knowing I wasn't answering the question she was actually asking. I just wasn't sure I was ready to talk about it, yet.

"We know what an out of body experience is, dumbass." James rolled his eyes in a gesture that might have qualified as playful, were he anyone else. "How did you have one?"

"I ran into this human in the woods," I confessed. "She has some serious mind power, more than any vampire I've ever met. She prevented me from reading her mind. It was as if she didn't even have to think about doing it. She was reading a book at the same time. Humans usually aren't so good with multi-tasking. Except mothers. Boys are the worst. But this girl, she was amazing," I rambled. "I don't think she even knew I was there at first. And she smelled fucking incredible. Like strawberries and freesia."

"Freesia?" James' lip curled in disgust. "That's what it takes to get you to call a human scent 'fucking incredible?' That's a flower, dude. Your ideal food is fucking flowers?"

I bit my lip, irritated by the pointless tangent. "Yes, because that was the point of my story. Did you not listen to anything else I just said?"

"Of course. You're overreacting, as usual. You've always had a flair for the dramatics, Edward." He gave me a once over and a sly smirk that indicated he was about to attempt to offend me. "That, paired with the way you dress… and with the fact you think flowers smell delicious… are you sure you're not gay?"

"Wow, James," I dead-panned. "Your knowledge of gay culture is overwhelming. Did you learn all of that on _Queer Eye for the Straight Guy_?"

"Edward," Victoria interrupted the banter that was quickly brewing into a battle of wills. "Jamie's right. Who cares? She's a human. What good is she to us? You ran into her in the woods. What are the chances you'll see her again? She was probably a tourist who thought hiking would be fun and got lost."

"Nothing, I suppose," I sighed, not bothering to correct Victoria or explain that it was more likely she was a local. "I just found it interesting."

Victoria was quick to change the subject, gesturing around us.

"We've booked this place for the next four weeks. Jamie likes it here, so we're going to stay a little longer than we originally planned. You're okay with that, aren't you?" she asked, in such a way that indicated my opinion wouldn't impact her decision.

I nodded, mildly distracted. My mind was still on the brown eyed girl.

"That's fine. I think I could get accustomed to this place. Forks isn't so bad, after all," I admitted, already making plans to cross paths with the brown eyed girl the next day. I had every intention of unraveling her mystery, even if James and Victoria thought she was unimportant.

James regarded me suspiciously, "Yesterday you called it 'a podunk little hick town that no one but old hillbillies set in their hillbilly ways and those in a vegetative state would willingly stay in.'"

"I changed my mind, okay?" I snapped. "I thought it would make you happy. Sorry for trying to be nice."

"Since when have you cared if I was happy?" James retorted indignantly.

"I don't know," I muttered sarcastically. "Since when have you cared if I was happy? I'd say about the same length of time…"

"Boys, boys," Victoria interrupted, slithering over to James and latching onto his arm, wrapping herself around him. "Let's play nice, shall we? I don't like my boys when they're naughty."

James opened his mouth to reply, but I had snatched a room key from Victoria's hand, disappearing to the room listed, before I could hear James tell Victoria how, yes, she did like her boys naughty.

I slowed my stride as I approached the clearing, allowing the memory to fade to the back recesses of my mind. The closer I came to the meadow, the more hollow my chest felt. It ached as if it were a physical wound. If I'd still had a heart it would have been beating frantically, I was so nervous.

I supposed that was the right word to describe the feeling that encompassed me now. I hadn't felt the emotion in decades. Thrills, anticipation, yes, but never nervousness. That would indicate an underlying worry. Immortal, virtually unbreakable and at the top of the food chain, I'd had nothing to be nervous of until now. Funny that all it took was a pretty brown-eyed girl.

The foliage overhead was thinning, the light from the clearing beginning to penetrate the forest, so I lithely hopped into a sturdy looking oak to commence my wait.

I didn't have to wait more than ten minutes.

The girl with the brown eyes was like a clockwork. She staggered, and I suppose I meant that literally, into the little meadow every day at approximately fifteen minutes after three. Instead of being off-putting, her clumsiness was adorable. It was all too human, a contrast to the calculated grace of vampires.

She was likely coming from school, as each day she carried with her a worn navy backpack, that looked to be one trip away from falling apart. Yet, every day, there it was, loaded with new books and papers.

I was a little ashamed to admit how obsessed I was with her. I knew everything I could know about her, based on the limited contact I had with her. I didn't even know her name, but I knew the kind of books she liked to read, how she dressed and what she was studying in her classes. After my monumental failure during our first meeting, if it could even be called that, I had started paying careful attention, gleaning any and every detail I could about the mysterious brown-eyed girl.

Her reading material implied she was intelligent. The books she chose to read often seemed to surpass that of a typical high school curriculum, suggesting she read them willingly. She was independent and self-sufficient, perhaps an only child or an eldest sibling.

Her choice in clothing was simple and unadorned. She wore faded, well-worn jeans and practical sweaters most days. I had yet to see her in a skirt or anything remotely frilly or lacy. I stifled that thought quickly, the mental images were unbearably pleasant. Her face, too, was clear of any adornments; none were necessary, anyway. Her wide brown eyes drew more than enough interest. They had captured mine, indefinitely.

I wasn't sure what I'd do when she stopped appearing, as she inevitably would. It was already September, and the weather would begin to drop soon. Eventually snow would begin to coat the ground. No human in their right mind would sit around in that.

I hadn't even mustered up the courage to talk to her. I'd tried, but my body simply wasn't willing to cooperate.

Her smell was unbearable. It was painful to move too close to her, though I'd attempted it multiple times. I'd creep through the trees like a deranged but astoundingly nimble stalker, until a mere thirty feet and a few bothersome maples stood between us, but venom would always pool in the back of my throat, and I'd feel guilty for putting her in danger. It was the same routine each time. My blood thirst would kick in and I'd pull away, shamefaced. That never stopped me from trying again the next day though.

When it came down to it, I wasn't willing to risk her life in order to satisfy my selfish need to be closer to her, so I settled on watching her from afar.

I huffed out a breath, blowing a dozen leaves off the branch nearest me. I snatched the pile of leaves from the air, with careful dexterity, before they could fall to the meadow below and alert the brown-eyed girl to my presence.

Perhaps I was crazy, but I think she wanted to see me, too. The day after our unbearably tense and awkward first encounter, she'd tripped into the meadow with purpose in her chocolate eyes. She'd been looking for me, I swear it.

The whole four hours and twenty-one minutes that she'd sat crossed-legged amidst the long grass, she had glanced up periodically, as if expecting someone. The only exception was one bizarre, entirely perplexing excursion up a tree, from which she'd promptly fallen. It had taken an excessive amount of willpower to prevent myself from catching her, though I held back, not wanting to unwittingly do more damage than the short fall to soft grass would.

The sensation of hope that curled through my body at the thought she might want to see me was amazing. I wanted her to want me. I just wished I could want her, too.

I hadn't ever really felt the desire to be human, not since the hours shortly after I awoke a vampire, and was flooded with extrasensory perception I didn't know what to do with. Now, though, it seemed like it would be a blessing. I'd give up my thought hearing, and all my heightened senses just to be able to talk to her like a normal boy.

Usually talking was the least of my worries. I was bombarded with thoughts, ideas and internal dialogue, all without the need to make conversation. The girl with the brown eyes made that impossible.

It was strange being unable to penetrate her mind-barrier. I'd spent much of my time watching her the past week trying to wedge my mind past the blockade she'd constructed, waiting patiently for a lapse in her control, but it remained ever solid.

It was extremely frustrating. Almost as much as the blood lust.

The girl was sin incarnate and innocence all rolled into one.

Everything she did drew me in, yet everything about her made it impossible to act on my desire to be close to her, to get to know her.

I kicked a branch, childishly, watching with satisfaction as it arced into the sky, dozens of metres above, before eventually landing amongst the trees on the other side of the clearing. I didn't care if she noticed. That was the closest I was going to get to having contact with her, anyway. I'd take what I could get.

My tolerance to the smell of her blood might be improving slightly, the more time I spent around her, but I was still a far cry away from being able to approach her safely.

I wasn't used to not being able to get what I'd wanted. The agonizingly slow progress I was making inched by at a snail's pace. After a century as an immortal, one started to become a little overconfident in his or her ability to get things done.

Prepared to accept that I would need more time, I settled in to watch her from afar for the sixth day in a row. Far too soon, the sun began to descend in the sky, behind the shroud of cloud-cover. I watched moodily as the brown-eyed girl began to pack up her books and the other belongings she had spread out like a ring around her.

I might have been imagining it, but her eyes seemed a little more downcast each day. The warm, vibrant brown I'd seen that first day seemed to become progressively muted. Sure, the fundamental colour was the same, but the fire that lit them wasn't and it ruined the whole presentation. I'd fix them, I swore to myself, if it was the last thing I did.

The world needed those warm brown eyes.

xx

"You've been disappearing every afternoon. What the fuck are you doing? Where are you going?" James asked, or rather demanded, two afternoons later. He'd cornered me just as I was about to leave for the meadow I'd been visiting each afternoon with unerring devotion.

I shrugged, careful to keep my expression nonchalant. James might not always be the most perceptive, but he had an eerie habit of catching on to the things you least wanted him to notice.

"Nowhere important," I lied, "just surveying the area."

I'd only been surveying one area, where long grass and wild flowers grew, and mysterious girls with brown eyes happened to visit daily.

"Sometimes I go to Seattle, try to track crime, you know, the usual," I continued, attempting to sound unconcerned with the line of questioning. I had gone to Seattle a few times, after the sun had set, but it only made up a fraction of my disappearances. Crime was usually only prevalent under the cloak of night. My afternoons were all spent in the meadow.

"Yes, you and your interesting meal choices," he rolled his eyes. They flicked to me briefly. "Run into anyone who smells like freesia, lately?" I knew he was asking just to irritate me. That didn't stop my involuntary reaction. I felt my skin prickle, preparing for a fight.

"No," I said tonelessly.

"Oh, well, that's too bad. Did you find anything edible? You don't look hungry," he said, nodding towards the colour of my eyes, "It's been a while for you, hasn't it?"

"I ate yesterday," I said flatly, thankful that, that wasn't a lie, at least. I'd stumbled upon a man raping a woman in an alley. He was no more, while the woman was probably scarred for life thanks to my turn as her avenger. At least she lived to tell the tale, unlike her attacker. "Is there a reason we're discussing if I've eaten recently? Have you decided to be my father as well as my annoying older brother, now?"

"Vic and I just haven't seen you around much, lately," he explained, sounding surprisingly sincere. "We never used to be able to get rid of your scrawny little ass, unless you were hunting. We were just wondering what's up, if you're turning off us, wanting to go your own way." His eyes were sharp, belying his casual tone.

"Nothing like that," I assured. A few days of space, and time to myself, as far as he knew, anyway, and James made it out to be abandonment. "You and Vicky are my covenmates, no matter how much you conspire to drive me insane."

The hardness in his expression evaporated instantly.

"Are we done here?"

At his nod, I turned, heading for the forest at a sprint, once I was certain he was no longer watching me. It was already three minutes past the time my brown-eyed girl made her appearance, and I'd be damned if I was going to miss any more time with her than necessary.

By the time I'd made it to the meadow, she was already sitting cross-legged in the long grass, writing in a notebook, determination in her eyes. From the angle at which I was perched, I couldn't make out what she was writing.

Stealthily, I navigated to a better viewing angle, and peered over her shoulder curiously, thankful for my improved long-distance sight. It was probably just homework, but I had resigned myself to the fact I was a stalker, and that meant I had to know.

'…_days. I wish I knew. I can't stop thinking about him. My beautiful boy is still a mystery to me. I know I'm probably crazy for hanging my dreams on a thread like this, but I can't let it go. He's like most of the male species, I guess. Un-freaking-reliable. My dad is the only reliable man I know. He's been in love with my mother for two decades. Sometimes I wonder what Mom was thinking giving that up. I'd die for that kind of dedication. Heathcliff and Cathy did. Romeo and Juliet did. All the great tragedies have that kind of devotion at their core. I'm afraid I'm never going to get my great love story. Mike Newton can't give me my great love story. Neither could Tyler or Eric or even Jake. There's no spark. It figures when I finally find someone who might fit the bill, he might not even be... I can't say it. I know it's silly, but I can't allow myself to write that thought down. Maybe I really am insane.'_

My eyes bugged as she closed the notebook with a loud, resigned sigh.

I seethed. I think I might have even seen a little red. I certainly felt murderous.

Her beautiful boy? She wasn't supposed to be in love with some high school boy. Who the fuck calls a boy beautiful anyway? Boys are supposed to be rugged and handsome. What great literary heroine has ever called her leading man beautiful? Fuck that.

At least no one was going to describe me as fucking beautiful. If anything, I was handsome. My mother told me so. One of my few retained memories was of her straightening a pint sized bow-tie on my five-year-old neck, as we arrived at one of father's lawyer friend's soirées, a proud smile on her face as she declared how handsome I looked.

I could be my brown eyed girl's great love story, and we'd do it right: minus any man who could be described as beautiful. Yes, she was human and I was a vampire, and that put a damper on things, but in the past couple of weeks, she'd been mine, and goddamnit, I was hers.

This wasn't how the story was supposed to go. Angry that this stupid, motherfucking beautiful boy had forced my hand, I held my breath, determined to get close enough to say hello today, at the very least. No pain, no gain. That was practically James' motto, brutal tracker that he was. Who knew the bastard doubled as a walking fortune cookie?

I didn't even stop to think that it might not be wise to approach her while I was so wound up. I knew I wouldn't hurt her. I couldn't. I stepped into her line of sight silently, with a sense of purpose, all the while holding my breath. It was uncomfortable, but I was a lot more uncomfortable with my brown-eyed girl finding herself a beautiful boy.

"Hello."

The smile that lit up her face was fucking priceless.

Take that, beautiful boy.

I would have paid every cent I owned to have that smile emblazoned in my memory for the rest of eternity. Thank god I was a vampire and that shit was free.


	4. Distraction

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary: **__Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing._

_**Chapter:**__ Four; Distraction_

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN:**__ Originally I had planned to start this chapter where the last one had left off, but a friend suggested I include the bonus scene that I was originally going to cut from the story, because it contained some interesting, and potentially important information, and could work as the beginning of this chapter, and I agreed. So, to those of you who have already read it, I'm sorry; consider yourselves early previewers of the first half of this chapter :P Feel free to skip, there are very few things changed. From now on, there will be very little overlap in the time covered by POVs. I hate copy and pasting dialogue and attempting to reframe it, so to those of you who dislike that style, you'll be happy to know I'm far too lazy for that :P_

_As always, I appreciate the faves, alerts and reviews :) The enthusiasm some of you have shown for the direction of this story has astounded me, and I promise I'll do my best to keep it on track :)_

_On with the story…_

xx

The last few days had dragged by with agonizing slowness.

Each day after school let out, I was in my meadow hoping my beautiful boy would reappear. Each day I went to bed a little more disappointed than the day before. I was beginning to think – or, rather, truly believe – that he had been a figment of my imagination all along.

I knew I had an active imagination. My mom had always said it was because I was born a reader. The strings of words in books tended to conjure up imagery to go along with them. My beautiful boy had been different, though. He seemed so real; too real. How could I have possibly imagined the threads of red and gold in his hair or the way his skin lit up, quite literally?

My imagination might be overactive, but I wasn't crazy. Who would make something like that up, with no motivation to do so?

I wasn't like Jessica or Lauren, both of whom seemed to take great pride in owning anything that could be infused with sparkles. I shuddered to think of the time I had asked Lauren to borrow a pen. My pencil had broken in the middle of an English test and she had been the only person within whispering distance. I had spent the period writing with a sparkly pink instrument decorated with feathers. Though I'd had no choice but to use it, I had felt tacky and ostentatious the entire time. I swear, even Mr. Mason had looked at me oddly. Though that might have been due to the fact the pen lit up each time it was pressed to paper.

I shrugged off the thought, reproaching myself for being so naïve. Even if he was real, it was a fluke. He'd probably been hiking and stumbled upon some boring, plain girl that he had no attachment to, nor any desire to see again. End of story.

I'd been slightly hopeful that on the third day he'd reappear because in fairy tales the third day is always special. That's when the magic happens.

On the third day of no shows that theory went out the window. I should have known better than to trust fairytales, even if I was friends with a pack of werewolves.

Again, on the week mark, my hope had piqued. Perhaps he only had time to go hiking on Tuesdays? But here I was, clunking up the stairs to the back porch, the sun setting behind me for the seventh day in a row, heart heavy, as had become the norm.

I stepped through the threshold to the house, not caring if Charlie heard the door slam behind me. Despite his fatherly desire to remain ignorant regarding all things boy-related in my life, Charlie had mustered up the courage to ask me if I'd been having problems with boys. It went and completely against his usual "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

Instead of coming off as paternal concern, it had felt more like an interrogation. Not wanting to embarrass him or myself any more than the mere presence of that question floating in the air between us already had, I'd answered with a vehement negative. I knew he wouldn't ask again.

So, I was surprised when he caught my arm as I was heading upstairs.

"You've been walking around this place like a zombie. And you're never home for dinner. I'm starting to miss your cooking," he admitted gruffly. "Make sure you're taking care of yourself, alright?"

I felt a surge of guilt that I hadn't been there for Charlie. I wondered what he'd been eating the past week. I shuddered to think of what kinds of leftovers I'd find in the fridge. Charlie's culinary skills were worse than Renee's. At least my mom could cook if she set her mind to it, and didn't endeavour to find the most eccentric combinations of food physically possible. She had Phil to temper her unusual tastes. My dad only had me.

"I'm sorry, Dad," I said guiltily. "What have you been eating? Please don't tell me you've been living off the Clearwaters' fish fry? You know that stuff is going to send your cholesterol through the roof. You remember what Dr. Gerandy said–"

"I remember," Charlie interrupted. "Are you sure you–"

"We talked about this," I said tersely, cutting his thought short, not wanting a repeat of our awkward conversation from two days ago. "There's no boys in my life. Okay?"

Charlie's moustache twitched in amusement. "Fine. No mentions of boys. Jake called, by the way. Three times. He wanted to know why you haven't been returning his phone calls."

I frowned. "You know why. I'm grounded," I offered petulantly, knowing that wasn't the reason at all. Though I hadn't actively been avoiding Jake, I'd been consumed with my beautiful boy the past week, he had taken a tumble on my list of priorities.

"Cut the kid a break, will you? He cares for you. And I never said you couldn't talk to your friends while you were grounded."

"Fine," I sighed. "I'll call him later, okay?"

Charlie nodded. I took that as permission to be dismissed and shuffled up to my bedroom, snatching the phone my mother had given me off my dresser, unsurprised to see five missed calls from Jake, in addition to the messages he'd left with my father on the home phone. There was also one from each my mom and Embry, and another from an unknown caller. Erasing the call history, I laid it back down on my dresser and set about getting ready for bed.

I'd just clambered under the well worn quilt that Grandma Swan had made for me when I was a baby, when there was a strange tapping on my window.

Irritated, I got out of bed and slid the window open a little more forcefully than necessary and peered out into the semi-darkness. My irritation at having to get up meant I lacked the trepidation I probably should have been feeling.

I glanced around, seeing nothing at first. I was about to shut my window when a figure stepped into view from where he'd been hiding, pressed against the brick directly below my window.

"Jake!" I hissed, catching sight of his dark hair. "What are you doing?"

"You wouldn't return my calls." He stuck out his bottom lip in a way that made him look half his age.

My frown deepened. "So? Your solution is to come knocking on my window in the middle of the night?"

"It's not the middle of the night," he countered, craning his neck to peer back up at me, a frown crossing his face. "It's barely eight. The sun just set."

"That's not the point!" I growled. "Haven't you heard of the grand invention called the door? I hear they're real easy to use. You could try knocking on it. Sometimes people will even answer them, without thinking that you're a weird, creepy stalker!"

"Geez, what crawled up your ass? I just wanted to see you, okay? There's been some funny stuff going on lately and I wanted to see you were okay," he added, sincerity lacing his tone. The sentiment didn't lessen my irritation in the least; it might have swelled more at the implication that I needed to be checked up on.

"I've been grounded. Sorry I forgot to tell you," I ground out between gritted teeth. "I can take care of myself, thank you very much."

"But, Bella…" he whined.

"Good night, Jake," I said firmly. "I'll call you when I feel like it. Which might not be for a while, just so you're aware." I slammed the window shut before he could protest.

My phone immediately began to ring. Knowing it was Jake, I turned it off, fighting the urge to throw it out the window and hit him with it. I knew I'd probably only miss and end up with a broken phone, without the satisfaction of hitting Jake in the head, so I buried that thought. Who did he think he was, checking up on me? Stupid, overprotective dog. First my dad, now Jake. Didn't they know I was fine on my own? I'd been my own mother, father, sister and brother for years.

I fought back the sting of tears, suddenly angry. All I wanted was my freaking beautiful boy. Stupid absentee jerk. I was revoking the white knight title I'd bestowed on him, if he ever chose to reappear. Even Edward Rochester did it better, and he fell off his freaking horse and was blind and maimed.

I slammed my head to the pillow and shut off my bedside lamp.

xx

In spite of my waning hope, I once again found myself trudging down the worn path to my meadow the next afternoon. My stride was slower than it had been the past week, my disappointment serving as a physical weight I had to carry with me. It wasn't enough to stop me from heading to the meadow. The idea of giving up my routine expedition would be like admitting to myself I would never see my beautiful boy again and I wasn't quite willing to believe that yet.

Sighing, I settled into the cool softness of the long grass. I plucked one of the violet flowers that grew in the meadow, twirling it in my fingers and inhaling its sweet scent. In a fit of boredom, I'd looked up the type of flowers that grew in the meadow. They were Oregon irises, native to Washington State. So far that knowledge had gotten me nowhere, except given me a name to call the pretty flowers I hoped to one day enjoy with an equally pretty boy. Maybe I could impress him with my awesome tidbits of knowledge…

I pushed aside my wistful thoughts and opened my bag, pulling out my well-worn leather journal, staring at the soft brown cover for a moment. My mother had bought me the refillable journal years ago, when she'd gone through her scrap booking phase.

She had declared that I should have something equally crafty to do. I wasn't sure how journal-writing qualified as crafty, but then again, I rarely followed my mother's logic. Though I didn't write in it daily, the journal was well-loved, and I'd gone through several of the refills, filling it with plenty of musings over the years. Since I'd met my beautiful boy, the journal had seen more action than it had in months, though, I'd never brought it with me to the meadow before.

Today, my disappointment left me in a particularly contemplative mood. I'd just finished spilling my internal ramblings onto the page and snapped the brown leather shut when the familiar prickling passed over me. I ignored it. I was in the process of yanking on my jacket, which had been cast aside, due to the unseasonably warm weather, when I was startled by a smooth voice.

"Hello."

I felt as if I'd taken a gulp of warm milk as the voice washed over me.

If I hadn't been expecting someone for the past week, I might've screamed at the suddenness of it. Instead, all I did was peer in the direction the voice had come from. I could feel the smile bursting across my face, even before my eyes focused on the boy I'd spent the better part of the last eight days thinking about.

Here he was, less than ten feet away from me. I silently rejoiced that I wasn't crazy. The anger I'd felt towards him the previous night flew out the window, an elixir of happiness and relief bubbling in the pit of my stomach.

"Hello," I breathed back, after several beats of silence, finding it hard to speak and maintain a smile the size of Jupiter at the same time. "You came."

He glared at my journal shortly, before turning his too-beautiful-to-be-real face towards me, a brilliant smile gracing his features. He flashed a row of perfect white teeth in my direction. "I guess I have. Were you expecting me?"

I flushed furiously, heat rising in my face. "Maybe a little," I admitted, bashfully. "You fascinate me."

"I fascinate you?" he asked, raising a perfect eyebrow. "You don't even know me."

The pink hue of my cheeks burned brighter, creeping towards magenta. "I – I, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I didn't mean to imply that I think I know you. Just, the other day, when I saw you, it was, uh, I felt like I, um, I guess what I mean is that… I… I don't know," I finished, lamely. "I'm sorry."

I looked down at my lap, gripping my journal, tears of humiliation stinging the back of my eyes. I'd waited eight agonizing days to do that? I was such an idiot.

Instead of the sharp, condescending words I was expecting, I was greeted with his velvety laugh. I braved raising my head, and was met with a warm smile, which made me feel marginally better.

"You fascinate me, too," he said, when my eyes met his. From the distance, I still couldn't tell what colour they were. The ten feet that separated us suddenly seemed much larger. Based on his stiff way he was holding himself, I had a feeling he might leave if I tried to get any nearer. I didn't want to risk it.

"I do?" I asked, dumbly, wondering what this perfect boy could possibly find fascinating about me.

In his presence, I no longer felt comfortable referring to him as my beautiful boy, even in my head. It seemed stupid to have ever thought of him as mine, he was so many light years out of my league. I haphazardly shoved my journal underneath my legs, irrationally afraid that he might try to snatch it from me and read the embarrassing stream-of-consciousness I'd scribbled in its pages. Without the journal to hold onto, my fists latched on to handfuls of grass to calm my frayed nerves.

"Yes," he affirmed, not expanding on the thought as I expected. He seemed to be choosing his words carefully, almost too carefully, as though he were voicing only what was absolutely necessary.

"Um, well, that's funny, because I think I'm pretty much the most boring person you'll ever meet. Look up average in the dictionary, and you'll find my image."

He shook his head in disbelief. "You are far from average. You're extraordinary to say the least." His tone left no room for dispute.

"Me?" I asked, my brow crinkling in confusion. "Are you sure you're talking about me?"

"Yes." He nodded again. "Unless you happen to have a twin who looks exactly like you do. One who has the same copper flecks in the irises of her eyes, who smiles just as you do, and who smells precisely the same."

"Smells like me?" I asked, confused. "You've been smelling me?"

And when had he gotten close enough to see what colour the flecks in my eyes were? I still couldn't tell what colour his were, a fact that was driving me up the wall. I really wanted to see if I'd been right about them being green.

He looked down bashfully and shrugged. He took a breath, as if to continue, but instead of talking, he clenched, his fingers curling into fists.

"Shit. I'm so sorry," he murmured, his voice still smooth and soothing, even though he appeared to be under some kind of emotional distress. "I need to go," he ground out, his lips pursed tightly.

Unsure what to say, I looked down at the grass I'd tangled my fists in, as if it could help me determine what to say to prevent him from leaving. The few seconds I'd hesitated were enough. By the time I looked up again he was gone.

Holy crap, he moved fast. I was used to that kind of thing with Jake and the boys, but this seemed different. They usually made lots of noise to go along with their inhuman speed. He was completely silent. No wonder I hadn't heard him approach earlier.

Despite the fact he'd left, a grin was permanently affixed to my face.

Pulling my journal from under my thigh, I reopened it and flipped to the first blank page. I scribbled two words: he came, followed by far too many exclamation points. Jessica and Lauren would have been proud.

xx

If I thought I'd been useless during the eight days while I waited for my beautiful boy to reappear, it was nothing compared to how hopeless I was now that I was certain he was real. I had grudgingly returned to calling my beautiful boy, seeing as how I'd nothing else to call him.

Somehow, I knew he'd be there today and it made all the difference. Concentration and good grades were suddenly a thing of the past.

I had slammed my locker door shut, prepared to bolt for my truck and hopefully avoid anyone who wanted to talk to me. They could all wait. I had more pressing matters to attend to.

I should have known I wouldn't be fast enough. Everyone around me was surprisingly speedy these days.

Alice Cullen accosted me before I could get two steps away from my hideous orange locker (Forks High's décor was an unfortunate relic of the seventies). I sighed already counting the seconds until she left and I was free to go see my beautiful boy.

"Hi Bella!" her cheerful voice tinkled, her face alight with a wide smile, as she looked up at me knowingly.

"Hello Alice," I sighed, "What can I do for you?" I fought down the urge to run. Knowing my luck, I'd trip and be forced to make a stop at the nurse's office, wasting even more time.

"Ask not what you can do for me, ask what–" she started, giggling and I sighed impatiently. She stopped abruptly, a frown overtaking her face.

Guilt prodded at my conscience. It wasn't her fault I only wanted to talk to one person, who unfortunately wasn't her.

"Sorry, that wasn't funny," she admitted soberly. "Anyway, I was just wondering if you wanted to come over? We could work on our Spanish oral for next week."

"Uh, that sounds great," I lied. "Except, I already have plans tonight. Maybe during lunch tomorrow?" I asked hopefully, praying she wouldn't push for a different after school meeting. As far as I was concerned I was in a constant state of busy after school, starting today.

"Sounds great!" she agreed in her wind-chime voice. "I just know we're going to have tons of fun with this project! We're going to be the best of friends!"

Forcing the puzzled frown that I felt I should be wearing from showing on my face, I plastered on a half-smile, the best I could muster under the circumstances, and nodded along. Alice had always been overly friendly to me, but today she was taking it to a new level. The exuberance was a little disarming.

She touched the side of my arm in a friendly gesture, her fingers trailing slightly down the fabric of my jacket, almost reverently. I looked down at her hand and she quickly pulled it away, flashing another mega-watt, too-white smile.

"Well, okay, I'll see you tomorrow at lunch, Bella!" she said brightly, swinging her designer book bag across her shoulder jauntily.

I nodded again, not sure what else to say, especially in light of her enthusiasm for a project I was altogether ambivalent about. I watched dumbstruck as she pranced towards the parking lot, pecking her boyfriend, Jasper, who was leaning against the side of the shiny, cherry-red convertible owned by his twin sister, Rosalie. Once I'd come to my wits again, I remembered I had somewhere to be.

Within minutes I was in my faded, old truck, rumbling down Elderberry Avenue, headed for home, at just over the speed limit, which was as fast as my ancient truck would allow.

The moment the truck roared into the driveway, my door was open and I was sprinting inside. I scrambled to find a pen and paper to leave Charlie a note, as he'd requested, even through it was entirely pointless now that he knew I was visiting the meadow every afternoon, to "do my homework."

Backpack on shoulder, grin on face, I headed for the trail behind the house, making it to the meadow in record time, without tripping once. If it had been possible, the grin on my face would have widened at the sight that met me once I passed through the thick foliage into the clearing.

There, sitting crossed-legged amidst the grass and wildflowers, in the centre of the meadow was my beautiful boy, looking as perfect as ever.

Yeah, that's right, he was mine, and I didn't care who knew it.

Today, we had some things to discuss.

xx

_AN: I was doing some googling, researching for this story, which included looking up Forks on map quest, and dude, it's tiny, for reals; my neighbourhood in bigger... Elderberry Avenue is a real street in the real Forks, by the way. I encourage anyone who hasn't been geeky enough to look up Forks on google maps to do so… it's interesting._


	5. Delusion

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary: **__Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Five; Delusion_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

**AN:** _Not much to add today but the usual thanks to readers and reviewers alike. I also realized today, that since writing this I've not stopped to thank Jana, who has been kind enough to beta this story for me, even though __Twilight__ isn't her cup of tea. I think I'm winning her over to our side, slowly but surely, though…_

xx

On Thursday afternoon, I had psyched myself up to be ready and waiting for my brown-eyed girl when she showed up at three fifteen. Thankfully, the sky was a moody grey, which allowed me to safely venture to the meadow without raising any suspicions.

It was abundantly clear, even from our too-brief conversation, that she had remembered me, from the less than four seconds she had glimpsed me over a week ago.

I knew that she probably wouldn't see me for what I was: a vampire. But there was no way she wouldn't remember the boy who appeared out of thin air in the middle of the woods and fucking sparkled to boot. That wasn't something one saw often. She hadn't asked about my appearance, though. It hadn't even seemed an issue, granted we had spoken all of two minutes.

I was inordinately pleased that she remembered me at all. Yes, I looked like a sparkler, lit by the sun, but she remembered me. Did it really matter why? I was confident her beautiful boy would soon be a thing of the past.

If not, there were ways of remedying that… I couldn't exactly kill him myself, not if I wanted to remain in the good graces of the girl with the brown eyes, but I was sure James would take great pride in slaughtering an innocent high school boy, given the barest of reasons. That could be arranged. Quite easily, in fact.

I scoffed in disgust at the direction my thoughts had taken. Here I was, a 104-year-old vampire, plotting the demise of some blameless high school kid, because I was fucking jealous. I wasn't naïve enough to think I wasn't jealous. I knew I was. I could almost feel my eyes returning to their original green shade, as the jealousy had washed over me the moment they landed on that journal.

I resolved there would be no need for murder. The brown-eyed girl was mine now, whether she liked it or not. I would just have to get her to see things my way.

Mr. Beautiful would find another, less extraordinary human girl to be pretty for, eventually. Until then, he could go fuck himself because he wasn't getting anywhere near the brown-eyed girl, if I had anything to say about it. She was too good for him.

Today I had come prepared to dazzle. Mind over matter. I had steeled myself to sit cross-legged in that meadow and simply talk to her, like a normal person. Breathing and all. I could do it, I knew I could. I was still irked that I had faltered so easily yesterday, almost immediately after I'd caught a whiff of her scent.

I had spent most of the previous night, after I'd fled from the meadow, recalling the potency of her scent, flawless in its temptation, in memory alone. I'd practiced for hours, willing my body not to react. By the ninth hour of solid concentration I could sit stock still while thinking of nothing but the intoxicating smell of strawberries and freesia.

I still wasn't willing to risk her life by any means, but I now had the confidence in myself I'd lacked in our previous encounters. I cared too much for her to risk her spilling so much as a drop of blood. If it came down to it, I'd flee again. I hoped that would be unnecessary.

Now, if she'd just show up, already…

Patience was usually one of the few virtues I possessed. Today it seemed to have disappeared. Though I could usually sit perfectly still for hours on end, I fidgeted with my clothes and my hair incessantly as I waited for my brown-eyed girl to show, praying I hadn't scared her off with my utter stupidity and lack of manners.

After a few minutes that felt more like hours, she appeared in the thin gap between the trees that marked her path to the meadow. Her face split into a wide grin when her eyes lit on me. I found myself grinning back, distractedly hoping my teeth didn't frighten her. If they did, she didn't show it.

She immediately broke into a jog, heading towards me with purpose. I monitored her progress dutifully, prepared to break her fall if she took a tumble, something she seemed to do with astonishing frequency.

When she was within a few yards of me, she slowed, and I noticed her falter. It was apparent she wasn't sure how close to me she wanted to situate herself. I wondered briefly if that was due to her hesitation towards me, or some unwelcoming, predatory vibe I was emitting. Probably a combination of both, I reasoned.

Eventually she seated herself in the grass five feet away from me. Her grin was still present and seemingly permanent in my presence, a fact which pleased me.

"Hi," she whispered through her smile, her eyes fixed firmly on mine. They widened a minuscule amount as they took in the strange burgundy colour.

"Hello," I breathed, carefully inhaling her scent, and breathing it out again. Confidence swelled up inside of me when I managed to remain perfectly still. My thoughts hardly veered towards thirst. I kept a careful check on myself. I would not ruin this with overconfidence.

Her voice was shy and tentative when she spoke next. "You came back. Somehow, I knew you would. You left kind of abruptly…" She trailed off, fishing for an explanation.

"Yes," I admitted, segueing into a lie with ease. "I'm sorry about leaving so suddenly. I remembered my sister had requested that I be home before she returned from work. We were to leave for her fiancé's place in the city as soon as she returned."

"Oh," she said softly. "You live with your sister. In Forks?" She tried to mask it, but I heard the hopeful note in her voice. It was strange having to rely on body language. I'd neglected visual and aural cues for the better part of the last century due to my ability to read minds.

"Yes," I nodded. "Since our parents passed away. We moved here just last week. We move a lot, my sister's job requires it," I explained, matter-of-factly.

"Oh," she repeated, disappointment colouring the single syllable.

"It won't be a problem much longer," I responded boldly. "I'm nearly 18. I'll be going to college soon. I want to stay in Washington State."

"You do?" she asked skeptically. "Why? There's nothing special here."

"I have my reasons," I said vaguely. She didn't question me further.

We lapsed into silence briefly. I had the feeling neither of us wanted to waste the time we had together. We both started to speak at the same time, so I motioned for her to go first.

"I've been looking forward to seeing you all day," she admitted. "I was worried you weren't real. You remind me of something out of a fairy tale."

I felt the panic start to rise in me. She was going to ask why I sparkled. Even though I'd prepared an answer, the tension was causing me to lose my careful grip on my control. I took a deep breath and let it out, centering myself again, before responding.

"Why's that?" I asked, my voice sounding hoarse to me, though the change in pitch was so minimal I doubt she noticed.

"I don't know," she shrugged, a pretty flush rising to her cheeks. "I guess you just seem kind of magical. Like, here we are in the middle of the forest, surrounded by long grass and wildflowers… meeting one another in secret. Seems like something out of Snow White to me."

"Snow White?" I chuckled briefly at the image. "Well, you are the fairest of them all," I teased, referring to her smooth, pale skin, which was still a shade darker than mine. "Do you sing to animals, too?"

I pushed to the back of my mind her singing blood, and the irony that I was the worst kind of animal.

"No," she said quickly. "Do you?"

"No. The animals are more likely to flee from me, I'm afraid," I admitted, truthfully. That might have had more to do with my vampire nature than my singing, though she didn't have to know that. "Singing was never in Prince Charming's job description, anyway."

"No," she agreed, folding her small hands in her lap, looking down at them as she spoke, probably to hide her deepening blush. I saw it anyway. "You remind me of him, though. You're really beautiful, you know." I almost choked on my venom.

"Beautiful?" I questioned incredulously. I knew I hadn't misheard, but that particular word wouldn't quite register in my mind as being attached to me. The implications abounded. Could that mean…?

"Yes," she nodded vigorously, staring into my eyes meaningfully. "You've got the most stunning eyes I've ever seen. They're not brown or plum, but somewhere in between, with red thrown in to make them even more unusual. I didn't even know such a colour was possible."

"It's not common," I agreed, immediately spewing out the lie Victoria, James and I had concocted to explain our eye colour when we would forgo colour contacts. "My sister and I both have the same eye colour. We were told it's classified under 'violet', which is considered a category within blue eyes. Dad had blue eyes. Our mother had hazel eyes, though, so the warmth of the shade probably comes from her side."

"Oh," she replied again.

I was beginning to enjoy how much I could read about her from the way she muttered the word differently each time she said it. She was the most interesting person I'd ever met. Never before had I really thought about the various ways one could say "oh." It was never necessary.

"That's so cool," she continued after a beat. "My eyes are just boring brown."

"Your eyes are not boring," I admonished. "They're amazingly expressive and warm. Like chocolate melting in the sun."

"Thanks," she said shyly. "You're still ten times as beautiful as I am. And that's a modest estimate." There was that word again.

"What exactly do you mean when you say I'm beautiful?" I wondered. I wanted more than just a tangent on how unusual my eye colour was. I knew that already.

"Nothing that isn't already obvious."

She flushed more fiercely than I'd seen yet. Thankfully, rather than making me thirsty, the blood pooling in her cheeks made me want to stroke them and see if they felt as soft and warm as they looked. I didn't trust myself to do it, nor did I think it would be polite. Even if I felt as if I knew her, she hardly knew me. I resolved not to touch her until I had told her the truth.

"Surely you know what you look like."

"I have looked in a mirror before, yes." I frowned. That answer told me nothing.

"So you know, then."

I shook my head in disagreement. "I don't think I do."

"Are you really going to make me spell it out?" she asked, clearly floundering somewhere between embarrassed and irritated. "You've got perfect bone structure. Cheek bones up to here, a jaw that I'm sure could cut glass if you tried it, and a perfectly straight nose. And your hair… it's as unusual as your eyes, and I love that it seems to have a life of its own."

"Oh," I said, borrowing my new favourite word. "Would you call me a beautiful boy, then?" I asked slyly.

If I thought I'd seen the epitome of the perfect blush before, it was nothing compared to what she brought to the table now. "How – I mean – what – where did you hear that?" she stuttered.

"Nowhere," I said innocently.

"Okay," she said flatly, the colour in her cheeks returning almost to normal. "Um. Yes, I would call you that. I guess."

I gave myself an internal fist-pump. It was me! Me! Angels sung a hallelujah chorus in the distance somewhere. I had considered murder for naught. I suddenly felt stupid. If I could have mirrored her blush, I would have. I had mused for hours that Mr. Beautiful wasn't good enough for her. And fuck if I wasn't right. She was too good for me.

My mission impossible had suddenly become infinitely easier. Now there was just the pesky problem that I was omitting key points of my identity and pretending to be someone (and more importantly something) I was not. I decided I would worry about that later, once we had gotten to know one another better.

"Are you sure you mean beautiful? Not, say, 'handsome,' or 'rugged, but undeniably gorgeous?'" I prodded hopefully. Maybe I could sway her to using a term that made me seem less effeminate.

"No," she countered, the flush permanently affixed to her cheeks. "You're definitely beautiful. Have I hurt your masculine pride?"

"No," I huffed.

"Sorry. I'm just calling it like I see it," she said, yanking out a handful of grass nervously, probably worried she'd offended me.

"If it makes you feel any better," I told her, with a smile meant to reassure her, "I think you're incredibly beautiful, as well."

"A little," she confessed. "Though, I really can't imagine why. You're a Greek god personified. You aren't actually some illegitimate demi-god son of some promiscuous higher-up god, are you?"

I laughed heartily. "I wish."

"It would explain the sparkling," she muttered. So now she brings it up. Would I ever understand what this girl was thinking?

"Sparkling?" I forced another laugh, careful to make sure that I sounded genuinely surprised.

"Yeah. When I saw you last week, wherever the sun hit your skin, it seemed to glow from within."

"Glow?" I laughed incredulously, as though the mere idea was preposterous. "You try running about the forest for two hours and we'll see if you glow too."

"Sweat?" she said, disappointed. "That's all it was?"

"I'm afraid so."

"What about the inhuman speed? And how did you fall from a tree and walk away without a scratch?" she asked, still not prepared to concede that I was human, apparently. After what she'd seen me do, I couldn't say I blamed her.

I pretended to scratch my head absently. "Well let's see… I run track, so I guess you could say I'm quite fast. As you can see, I'm quite lean for my height," I explained, purposely unfurling my legs and stretching out in the grass. Her eyes followed the line of my body as I did so. "Long legs, minus extra baggage makes for excellent speed, I suppose."

"And the tree?" she persisted.

I furrowed my brow. "I think you must be imagining things. I never fell out of a tree. Well, not recently," I lied. "Maybe when I was a kid, but I sustained all the usual scrapes and bruises."

"Oh," she puffed out, deflating slightly. I smiled at her usage of the word. "I'm sorry," she apologized, "You must think I'm insane asking you all these weird questions. I'm not, I promise. I'm usually so pragmatic it worries my parents."

"That's a good thing," I said quietly. "No point in needlessly worrying the ones who love you."

"Yeah," she agreed, sighing.

Quiet blanketed the air around us, as we contented ourselves looking at one another and our surroundings. After a few minutes of companionable silence, she spoke up once again.

"Hey… I don't even know your name."

"Edward. Edward Masen."

"Edward," she mimicked, as if testing to see how the name fit in her mouth. She nodded, eventually. "It fits you. Like Edward Rochester. Or Edward Ferrars. Both distinguished, good old-fashioned men."

"Are you kidding me?" I asked in disgust. "You're comparing me to a brooding old man who can't do anything right and the most dull romantic hero ever created?"

"Sorry?" she laughed. The sound warmed my stone-cold heart. Suddenly, I didn't mind the comparison. "Those are classics, by the way. You ought to appreciate them. Besides, Hugh Grant played Ferrars, and some would say he's hot."

"Would you?" Jealousy burned in my throat.

"I guess," she nodded. "There's something about a British accent…" she trailed off suggestively.

"Okay," I muttered dryly, putting on a British accent. I probably sounded stupid as hell, but it made her laugh, so it was worth it.

"Very sexy." A smirk twisted the corner of her mouth.

"And, for the record, I appreciate the classics just fine," I added. "You just happened to list two of the most dreadful characters ever to be immortalized with pen and paper. The only way it could have been any worse was if you brought up Heathcliff," I said innocently, knowing full well I was goading her. She had brought _Wuthering Heights_ with her to the meadow twice last week.

She gasped. "Heathcliff is so passionate and lovelorn. How can you feel anything but pity for him? He's cruel, yes, but he's also treated horribly by others, like his foster-brother who never recognized his sweetness when he was a child. They turned him cold and cruel, not the other way around. It's a case of nurture over nature," she argued passionately, colour brushing her cheeks for an entirely different reason.

"I seem to have stumbled onto a topic you know a lot about," I teased.

"Erm, yes. I love to read. Books, fantasy, escape… you know. It's the one thing I'm really passionate about," she admitted.

"I can see that," I nodded.

"What about you?" she asked quietly.

"What about me?"

"What are you passionate about?" she wondered shyly.

I was quite embarrassed to admit to myself that there was absolutely nothing that I was passionate about. Arguing with James didn't really count… I'd already told her I'd run track and brushed the topic off, as though I didn't care much for it, beyond participating in it. So I settled on the one thing I could remember enjoying as a human.

"Piano."

"You play?"

I nodded, even though I hadn't touched ivory since I'd stopped needing air to breathe.

"I used to compose some, too."

"So," I cut in, before she could ask further questions. "I told you my name. But you went off into a rant about how Heathcliff was wronged before you could tell me yours…"

"Bella Swan," she said quickly, looking up into my eyes, before quickly looking away again.

"Beautiful," I murmured, staring at the girl I now knew as Bella. The name was entirely fitting.

She nodded. "Yeah, that's what it means. In Italian."

"That's not what I was talking about." I smiled, anticipating the red cheeks I knew were imminent.

"Oh." She flushed and looked at her lap, and I grinned at the predictable response. I liked that I could do that to her.

"Even more so when you get all pink like that," I admitted.

"I hate it," she mumbled, ashamed of the involuntary reaction.

"Don't," I said firmly.

"Okay," she said quietly, though I could tell she was biting back some kind of snarky response. Her shyness was endearing, rather than infuriating, as I might have expected.

It hadn't escaped my notice that we'd spent most of our time together talking about me, or rather, I'd spent the afternoon lying through my teeth about who I was.

We'd been together in the meadow for nearly an hour and I hadn't had the urge to bite her. I wasn't going to let my guard down, but I was beginning to think I could be around her long enough to get to know her too.

I had all the time in the world to get her to open up to me. I just had to get her to trust me, and let myself trust her with my secrets. Until then, I was content with this limbo state we found ourselves in, not quite ready to attempt to bridge the chasm of unknown between us.

We spent the remaining time until the sun set in the overcast sky, talking about little, unimportant things, simply getting to know one another. It was hands down the best four hours of my existence.

The moment she left I was already anticipating the next day. It had been a while since I'd felt the fluttery stirrings of anticipation. I liked it. A lot.

xx

"Beautiful?" James snickered. "That's what's got you all bent out of shape? Some random human referred to you as beautiful in her mind?"

After returning to our rented cabin, I had told James that a human girl had referred to me in her thoughts as beautiful, wanting to get a second opinion. I should have known better than to ask for James'.

"What's so funny about that?" I growled, sitting on the opposite side of couch from James. He was watching some gangster movie on TV on fast-forward. "You don't think I'm beautiful, do you?"

_Yes_, his mind echoed. The barrier had slipped slightly as he cackled in mirth.

"Sorry, dude, I don't swing that way," he laughed. "But if I was a chick, I think, yes, you would be considered what we real men refer to as a 'pretty boy.'"

"Now I'm pretty?" I snarled. "You have got to be fucking kidding me! I might have, at a very long, uncomfortable stretch, been able to make my peace with everyone hopping on the 'Edward is beautiful' bandwagon, but pretty is taking it a step too fucking far. No way am I pretty."

"Sorry," James guffawed, not sounding apologetic in the least. "This is hilarious. Are you really trying to tell me you've never had a chick call you beautiful before? You're around humans all the time. You pass hundreds of them on a daily basis when you're in urban areas. You read their thoughts without even trying to. And no one has called you beautiful before? You're practically the poster child for pretty boys."

"I try to tune them out before they get all," I waved my hands around, unable to say the words, "you know."

"Horny for you?" James chortled. "This is classic. Wait until I tell Vic. You're bent out of shape about some chick lusting after you. No wonder you're such a prude."

"She was not lusting after me," I countered. "She just happened to think it in passing, when I walked by her on the street and it surprised me."

"I really don't get the big deal," James shrugged, "So some desperate girl wants to bump uglies with you. It's not like you've gotten any in decades. What's the harm?"

"Do you have to be so crude?" I spat in disgust. How Victoria could stand him, I had no clue. James and decency did not go together at all. Weren't women supposed to want to be adored and romanced? Victoria and James really were suited to one another, wild and insane as they both were.

"I'm just saying," James raised his hands in supposed surrender. "If you can't find any vamp loving, it wouldn't hurt to broaden your horizons. The incubus and succubus rumours exist for a reason. I've never met them, but supposedly the Denali sisters up in Alaska have been doing it for centuries. Seems like a perfect solution for a human-lover like you."

"You can't let it go, can you? Why do I even bother talking to you?" I wondered aloud. "It's like talking to a fucking wall. A really fucking stupid wall."

"You know me," James stated tactlessly. "I tell it as it is, little bro. If you want things sugarcoated, you'll have to talk to Vic. Why she coddles your ass, I'll never know."

I rolled my eyes. "Why do I get the feeling you're jealous? She's not my mother, dumbwad. I can assure you any and all coddling you perceive is unwanted, and further, unnecessary."

Victoria appeared as if summoned, returning from scouring the small town for god-knows what. I had a feeling I didn't want to know.

She settled into the sofa between us. "Jamie, you know I don't coddle. I just like to make sure my boys are taken care of. Edward here is our little breadwinner. You know his gift ensures our income. He deserves a break."

"Breadwinner?" I snorted. "Hear that James? I'm your sugar daddy."

"Don't be an ass about it, Edward. And don't provoke him." Victoria admonished. "You two love to get one another riled up, don't you? If I didn't know better I'd think you two were an old cranky mated couple."

We both scoffed.

"We'd be just fine without his thought stealing abilities, Vic, and you know it," James sneered. "Why you had to go drag him into our lives, I've not the faintest clue. We were fine, just the two of us. He's lucky we've put up with him for almost a century."

I snarled, infuriated. I had never asked for this. They were the ones who had changed me, and brought me into their lives, into their coven. They were the ones to suggest less than savory ways to use my gift for our benefit. I had gone along with them, but now, I wasn't sure why. I thought we had taken care of one another. It seemed like I was the only one putting any effort in.

"You are so full of shit, James," I countered, my anger simmering just below the surface. "You love that my mind-reading allows you to live comfortably. You love it when we go to a casino and walk around like we own the place, which I suppose we could, if _you_ wanted to. You make all our decisions in this coven, _leader_. Why are we living here? Your choice. Why do we ever go anywhere? Because you said so."

"Well someone has to be trusted to make good decisions around here," he growled. "If we let you do it, we'd all be running around trying to play fucking Batman."

"Good thing that's not going to happen," I snapped. "We wouldn't want to inflict damage on people's retinas, something that would surely happen if they were forced to see you in spandex."

He merely glared, so I continued, adopting a more serious approach. "You are such a massive hypocrite. You love having control over my gift when it's beneficial to you. But when I try to do something useful with it, I'm wasting my time. Life isn't all about who has the most power. What you do with it is important, too; a concept clearly lost on you. You are the biggest power-monger I know. Why don't you try to overthrow the Volturi yourself? I bet you're stupid enough to think you could actually get away with it."

"Shut the fuck up about things you don't know about," he seethed. If it weren't for Victoria clutching his arm, I'm positive he would have pounced on me.

"I've lived with you for 87 years. I think I know plenty," I fumed in return. "Just because you don't like hearing it doesn't make it any less the truth."

James snarled at me, baring his teeth. Throwing Victoria's arm off, he flung himself at me. He was so infuriated that his mind barrier slipped. I heard his thoughts long before he actually pounced and was able to easily dodge him.

_Fucking ungrateful little shithead, _his thoughts growled,_ I'll fucking kill the little bastard. Victoria will get over it, she's _my_ mate._

He lunged once more. Once again I heard his intention and was able to step out of his trajectory. He had thrown himself at me with such force that he was unable to stop, even with the split-second recovery time of a vampire and went tumbling through the dresser leaning against the opposite wall, leaving a shamble of wood in his wake.

The destruction only seemed to aggravate him further and he was on his feet in an instant. He'd carefully replaced his mind shield, but it was faulty. I could hear grumblings of his thoughts as it slid in and out of place.

…_going to… dead… I will… him up… why Victoria ever… fucking car… he ruined my… who does… is… fuck!..._

It was abundantly clear he wanted me dead, but his fucking car? I never ruined his damn car. I didn't know what the hell he was going on about. The moment of confusion afforded him a wide open shot.

The third time he lunged for me, he managed to catch my shin and send me careening to the nearby bed. The springs prevented me from doing much damage to the mattress, but the legs of the bed collapsed as the frame gave way under my considerable weight and the momentum of James' blow. The fall didn't hurt, but my leg stung like a bitch where he'd struck me.

I sprung up and settled into an offensive crouch, prepared to strike back. If the bastard thought I'd just lay there and take it, he was sadly mistaken.

I'd just landed a kick to his side, sending him across the room and back into the rubble that had once been the dresser when Victoria roared, "Enough!"

She settled in between us, her expression murderous. James and I both turned to her, startled. It was rare that she ever raised her voice. She was usually more of a quiet, slinky manipulator. I wasn't naïve enough to think she didn't wield a lot of the power in our coven through her bonded relationship with James, but her methods were usually much more understated.

"You two are acting like fucking children. Both of you shut the fuck up, and learn to live with one another. This is getting fucking ridiculous. Jamie, come with me," she said, already in the process of dragging him away, clutching his bicep. James glared at me, unable to restrain himself from hissing at me as they passed.

"We're going to go blow off some steam. Edward, I suggest you go find a way to moderate your temper, as well." Her words held the force of a command, and I narrowed my eyes, fed up with being ordered around.

In a flash she was gone, James with her. The front door to our little rented bungalow left open behind them. I could just make out their retreating backs, as they disappeared into the inky blackness of the forest under the cover of night.

I quickly strode in the opposite direction, where the sprawl of Seattle lay, having no intention of being anywhere in the vicinity of James or Victoria in the next few days. I'd live in the city until I decided what I wanted to do next.

xx

_**AN: **__Thank you all for continuing to read :) I'm now approaching 100 combined faves and alerts, which makes me very, very happy. I'm a little miffed that so few of you seem to want to review – I'm not scary, I promise! – but otherwise, I'm thrilled. I just want to hear what you think, hell, even suggestions. This story is plotted, but not rigidly, there's plenty of room for suggestions :) I run on feedback, and I'm getting a little downcast. You don't want me to look as grey as Forks, do you? Well, then, I think you know what to do…_


	6. Confusion

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary: **__Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing,_

_**Disclaimer:**__ I have fun playing with the characters, but I own nothing but the words to describe them; all characters, settings, and so on are property of their rightful owners._

_**Chapter: **__Six; Confusion_

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN:**__ Thanks for the continued support :) As always I love to know what you're thinking. Reviews motivate :) The next few chapters have veered off my outline a bit, so hopefully they manage to mesh with the overall story. Once again, thanks to Jana who helped me work through the chaos and find a way to eventually get back._

xx

"Edward!" I squealed, embarrassingly happy to see him. As he had been yesterday, my new favourite person in the entire world was sitting in the centre of the meadow. Waiting for me.

Tears of happiness sting my eyes at the thought of him wanting to see me. Me, Bella Swan, the most boring eighteen-year-old on the planet. I berated myself for being so overdramatic. I knew I had a penchant for crying over stupid things, but this was ridiculous.

"Bella," he replied smoothly. At least one of us managed not to sound like a raving lunatic. "How are you this afternoon?" He folded his long legs beneath him. I tried not to stare and failed miserably.

"Bella?" he had to repeat before I realized I had zoned out, intoxicated by his mere presence. I was standing like a statue ten feet away. Too far, much, much too far.

"Oh, um, I've been good," I answered distractedly, snapping out of my Edward-induced daze.

I wondered how close he would let me sit to him today. The short distance we had sat apart yesterday felt like miles. I wanted to touch his pale hand, and see if the sparks I imagined were real.

Erring on the side of safety, I settled myself in the long grass a couple feet away from him. I threw my backpack on the grass between us to create some semblance of a barrier, as if it could protect me from jumping him. I didn't want to push my luck.

"I'm glad to hear that. You deserve happiness."

He smiled broadly at me once I was settled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. I could write sonnets about those eyes. I had thought he was beautiful before, but after seeing him up close and personal, I had to admit they were far and away his most beautiful feature, which was saying something as the man radiated attractiveness.

"Thanks," I said bashfully, my omnipresent blush forcing its way to the surface of my skin. There was a beat of silence between us as we looked into one another's faces shyly.

The sadness in his eyes once again caught my attention. "Are you okay? Did something happen? Your eyes… you look sad," I blurted out.

He looked slightly alarmed. I frowned. Why would that freak him out? "Why, what colour are they?" he asked.

I frowned at the odd question. "The same colour they always are. Burgundy. That is, if a single word could be used to describe them," I laughed.

He sighed in apparent relief. "Good." He paused briefly before answering my original question. "I got into a fight with my brother-in-law," he admitted.

"Your brother-in-law?" I asked suspiciously. "Yesterday you told me that your sister had a fiancé. Now they're married?" I knew for a fact that he had said they were engaged. I had remembered every second of yesterday, down to the smallest, most insignificant details. Maybe I was being dramatic again, but it had felt like a turning point. I wanted to remember everything about the day. I had a feeling it would be a day I would want to recall for the rest of my life.

He looked down. "That's kind of what we fought about," he explained sheepishly. "Victoria, that's my sister, and James, that's my brother-in-law, eloped a week ago without telling me."

There was something in his expression that told me he wasn't telling the truth. If you asked me what it was, I wouldn't have been able to say. It was just a feeling I had. He had a perfect poker face. Figured. He had a perfect everything else, too.

I peered at him skeptically, not sure whether I should play stupid or call him out. I decided I'd play along, and see what he had to say. Maybe I was just imagining it.

"So why would that cause a fight?"

"They never let me in on anything," he explained, frustration obvious in his tone. "Victoria's older than me. Our parents have been dead for almost as long as I remember. I only have a few memories of my mother. I don't remember much of anything about my father."

"That's so horrible," I sympathized, forgetting that I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth. No one with a conscience lies about their dead parents. "So it's just been you and Victoria since you were a kid?"

Edward began picking at his cuticles, to avoid my eyes, I was sure. His nails were perfectly groomed, like he'd never picked at them a day in his life. As a former compulsive nail biter I knew what a bad habit looked like when I saw one. Edward was really starting to confuse me. He was so hot and cold. One minute he was smiling at me like I lit up his world, the next moment he was scowling at his hands, pretending to have a nasty habit, just so he didn't have to look at me.

"Victoria was eighteen when our parents died. I was six," he said, refusing to meet my eyes. "She has control of all our finances and property. My dad was a lawyer and everything was left to me, his only son. James and Victoria have kind of shared raising me. They've made all of the decisions in my life. She loves me, I'm sure, but she's not a replacement for a mother. Parents care what their children think. At least sometimes. James and Victoria make decisions that affect me and they've never thought to include me. I'm not six years old anymore. I'm tired of it."

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, now sure there was some truth to this story. No one goes through the trouble of making up a story like that just because. No one could fake emotions like that, unless they were a sociopath, and Edward definitely didn't seem like that kind of person. "I know that's probably the last thing you want to hear, but I mean it. I know how it feels to feel abandoned by your parents. My mom is a good person. She's just a little flighty, y'know? I feel like I was her mom more than she was mine."

"Yeah." His voice was as soft as mine. "I'm sorry I'm ruining our time together by being so moody, or 'emo,' as James would call it," he air-quoted, sardonically. We were talking in whispers, even though there was no need. The forest around us was strangely silent. I stilled momentarily, listening for something, the chirp of a bird, anything to indicate life in the surrounding area, but there was nothing. How strange.

"No, it's okay," I soothed. "I want you to be able to talk to me. I've been told I'm a good listener. And I give super awesome advice."

He hummed. "Well, I could definitely use some of that magical advice."

He smiled tightly, the shine not quite reaching his eyes. I so badly wanted to touch his hand, to comfort him, but I didn't trust myself and I wasn't sure whether he would accept the gesture. I didn't think I could stomach it if he brushed me off.

"Want to tell me how the fight went down?" I asked gently, not wanting to be too pushy if he didn't.

He shrugged but started talking anyway. "They told me they were married and it was fine. I hadn't been dying to attend their wedding. It's just that James was being insolent about the whole thing, trying to provoke me into reacting. Trying to assert himself as the alpha male of the family, now that he'd officially married my sister. He said some things to me, I said some things back and next thing I knew he took a swing at me. We kind of got into it, until Victoria pulled us apart. I haven't seen either of them since yesterday."

I stared at him with wide eyes. "You got into a fist fight with your brother-in-law?" I asked incredulously. "You don't look like you got in a fight. You don't even have a bruise." Granted, he was wearing long sleeves, but at school, busted lips and black eyes were the norm when the boys got into it with one another. Coming out without a scratch was rare to nonexistent.

I had to admit, I found the idea of Edward getting into a fight and holding his own kind of sexy. I blushed furiously as the thought crossed my mind. I'd never thought of anything or anyone as sexy in my life, but it seemed like the appropriate descriptor for someone that inspired that strange, tingly fluttering in my stomach.

"Oh, believe me," Edward smirked crookedly. I felt myself melt a little more. I was so screwed. "I've got bruises." He tapped his pant-covered leg knowingly.

"Can I see?" I asked eagerly, unashamed.

If Edward were a blusher, I think he would have. He shook his head, looking slightly panicked, or was that nervousness? "That would be ungentlemanly, Bella."

"Oh, right," I scoffed. "You're suddenly a gentleman, now? Yesterday, you were rolling around on the floor trading blows with your brother-in-law."

Edward's brow furrowed. "That's an entirely different circumstance, Bella. You are a lady. James is… well, he's not. He's a bit of a… well, perhaps we should leave that unspoken. I don't want to use such coarse language."

A laugh bubbled up in my throat. I wasn't much of a swearer, but this was downright ridiculous. "What, were you even born in the twentieth century, Edward? My grandma is less uptight about manners than you are."

Edward frowned. "Just because I prefer not to act like a hooligan around women, does not mean I'm old-fashioned. It's respectful. Also, I can assure you with one hundred percent honesty that I was, in fact, born in the twentieth century."

"I was kidding, Edward," I giggled at his overly formal response. Lawyers gave less structured rebuttals. Acting like an adult for the last decade had matured him beyond his years. Way beyond. "Nice to know you have a sense of humor. And 'hooligan,' seriously? Who says that?"

Edward looked offended, his face scrunched up adorably. It was the first expression I'd ever seen on his face that even so much as bordered on unattractive. "I have an excellent sense of humour, Miss Swan," he said indignantly. "'Hooligan' is a perfectly acceptable word to describe young boys and the debauchery they get themselves into these days."

"'Young boys?' 'These days?' You keep making yourself sound older, there, Grandpa," I teased, the words spewing out before I could stop them. It was worth getting a reaction out of him.

"I don't have to explain myself to you, Bella. You are incorrigible."

"Yes, I am," I agreed. "I'm sorry. Please don't think I'm trying to offend you. I can't stop my mouth sometimes."

At this, his grinned widely. "No. You're… spunky. I like it. Adore it, in fact. I haven't had this much fun around anyone in ages."

"Why not?" I asked innocently. "As we've already discussed, you're beautiful. You could hang out with the cool kids on attractiveness alone. Go get drunk, hang out at parties. That's got to be more fun than hanging out with me, bookworm Bella."

"I'm homeschooled," he admitted. "We move too often for me to attend school like a regular teenager. So I'm not around other kids often. You sell yourself short. Your company is preferable to most, if not all. Intelligence is becoming. I love that you're well read."

"You do?" I asked dubiously. "Everyone else thinks I'm a dork. Angela is my only friend at school that likes to read. Jessica and Lauren wouldn't be caught dead with a book in their hands, and Jake and the guys are too busy with video games and fixing up their cars to worry about meaningless things like books."

"Well, they're missing out then, aren't they?" he suggested reasonably.

"I guess they are," I laughed, not used to anyone, besides my father – who, as police chief, didn't really count – standing up for me, even if it was against my own self-esteem issues.

He nodded at my backpack, which was laying between us, long forgotten. "Bring anything interesting, today? Anything I might have heard of?"

I shrugged. Of course I had books, but I had no idea what kind of books he liked. So far we'd only talked about the books in the classic canon. "I'm not sure." I began to pull out school materials from the knapsack. I noticed his eyes lingered on my journal for a moment longer than necessary. I flushed, quickly placing my binder on top of it. All my thoughts about him resided in there. I'd die a slow, horrible death via embarrassment if he ever read them.

When I pulled out _White Noise_, he quirked a well-groomed eyebrow. "Fan of the postmodern, are you?"

"You know DeLillo?" I asked incredulously. Not many kids my age read stuff like this. Granted, I'd only been turned onto it by a suggestion Mr. Mason had made in class a few weeks ago, but I'd taken the initiative to order it on Amazon.

He smiled at me, almost wistfully. "You're aware that that's a book in which one of the central themes is the fear of death, aren't you?"

I stuck my chin up, staring into his too-pretty eyes defiantly. "So?" I said haughtily. "You don't think I'm interested in things more substantial than simple romance novels? I might like a good love story, but I am not a harlequin girl."

"I never suggested you were," he said quietly, his tone appeasing. "I'm just surprised you'd choose something so potentially morbid and enjoy it."

"I'm not afraid of dying, but I think it's an interesting topic," I countered. "It's simply a part of the life cycle, yet we fear death, as if it's something unnatural. I'm more interested in what one chooses to do while they're alive. I want to live my life to the fullest while I'm around to do so. I don't believe saving yourself for the afterlife. Who knows if there is one?"

He glowered slightly, whether he was shocked or upset, I wasn't quite sure. "You aren't afraid of dying," he stated flatly. "Do you even understand what death is?"

"I suppose not. Do you?" I challenged. "Does anyone? It seems silly, to me, to be afraid of the unknown, which is essentially what death is. Come what may."

"No," he stated, his voice hard. There was an underlying tension there, and I wasn't sure why. "You don't believe in the afterlife? How can you not be worried that this is it for you? Once your life on earth is over, it'll be as if you never existed. What if there's nothing left?"

"Then I'll be gone, what will I care?" I challenged. "I will have existed, though. Love will insure that. As long as I'm loved, I will live forever."

He laughed. The sound was a relief after the tense conversation of the past few minutes. "You really are a hopeless romantic at heart, aren't you?" he wondered, though I'm sure he had already deduced the answer to his own question.

"Proud of it," I stated firmly, unable to keep the smile off my face at the silken sound of his answering laugh.

He smiled and nodded. "Silly, beautiful girl." My cheeks heated at the word 'beautiful used in reference to me.

Suddenly, the smile dropped from his face.

Out of nowhere, the sound of logs being crushed and snapped started to rip through the air, from somewhere to the northwest. At first it was faint, but it got progressively louder, as if coming closer. It sounded like a bulldozer was ploughing through the forest.

The noises were reminiscent of the ones I'd heard shortly before I'd met Edward, but louder and more boisterous…. more violent. The forest was starting to creep me out a little. What was going on around here?

Edward's head popped up like a shot, panic written all over it. Without warning, he reached out, and grabbed my forearm, almost roughly, pulling me to my feet. Even through the thin fabric of my shirt, the touch was electric. I didn't have time to dwell on it, though. Edward passed me my backpack, which he had hastily retrieved from the ground and gestured towards the path that led back to Charlie's house.

"Go home. Now." Though his voice was low, it was clearly a command, not a suggestion. His words were clipped but I could read panic into them. He seemed genuinely frightened. It was an odd experience. I'd seen him smug, shy, content, melancholy… but I'd never seen him look so downright terrified. "Hurry home. Please. Go."

I followed his directions, mutely, too perplexed by the abruptness of the situation to do or say anything. It wasn't sunset yet. Why was he sending me home? We still had plenty of time until the sun even thought about setting. Surely whatever was making that noise would go away.

Edward made sure I got to the edge of the meadow safely as the noise in the distance grew closer. What could it be that would send him into such a state?

By the time I ducked past the first tree on the path, I'd found my voice. "Edward?" I asked, "Is everything okay? What's going on?" I turned to hear his answer, sure he had been following me. He was gone.

So I followed his directions. I went home.

Then proceeded to punch my innocent pillow.

xx

The next day, I grumbled my way through all six periods plus lunch, a little black rain cloud floating invisibly above my head. I wasn't even necessarily looking forward to seeing Edward after class.

I was a little (okay, a lot) upset with him for the abrupt brush off and complete lack of an explanation. Vindictively, I wanted to make him suffer, by refusing to show up. Unfortunately, that would mean not seeing him at all, and I knew I couldn't do that. Ugh. Couldn't he just make it easier for us both and talk to me like a normal human being?

I'm sure Alice thought I was the most horrible person on the planet. We'd had our scheduled lunch meeting, which had been postponed a day, to work on our Spanish project. I'd snapped and snarked my way through the entire hour, too upset to care how horribly I was acting. Alice had been all smiles and sunshine, so I assumed I hadn't affected her too adversely. She'd even asked me questions about myself, trying to be friendly. I'd rebuffed her valiant attempts, always returning her attention to our project. I felt a little remorse afterwards, but not enough to change my mood.

When the three o'clock bell finally tolled, relief surged. That didn't stop me from stomping to my locker to retrieve my jacket and other belongings. Halfway there, I bumped into Alice, and went flying to the ground. After a cursory check to make sure I hadn't injured anything, she bent down to help me pick up my dropped books, apologizing profusely.

The experience hadn't lightened my mood any and I found myself in an even worse mood than before. "Thanks, Alice," I grumbled.

"No problem, Bella! Is everything okay?" she chirped.

I grumbled an affirmative. Maybe if I kept up with the monosyllables, she'd lay off.

"Are you sure? You seemed like you were having a rough day, earlier, at lunch?" she offered in what I'm sure was her version of a soothing tone. Even that sounded a little cheery.

I guess even monosyllables and the spirit of evil weren't enough to keep Alice away.

I gathered the books she'd handed to me into a neat pile, balancing them on my hip.

"I'm fine," I said simply. "I need to get going."

"Have fun!" she smiled at me and winked.

I blinked. Did she just wink at me?

Not caring enough to dwell on it, I threw my books into my ugly orange locker, not caring, for once, if they looked neat. I was sure I'd cringe tomorrow at my rough treatment of them, once my bad mood wore off. My mom, book torturer that she was, laughed at my protectiveness of my books. She liked to crack the spines of books, claiming it made them easier to read. I didn't think she'd ever finished a book in her life, so I wasn't sure why she cared. Regardless, that was one of my biggest pet peeves. As a grade A bookworm, I didn't like the mistreatment of books.

I yanked my backpack over my shoulder, slammed my locker closed and stalked towards the parking lot.

I rolled my eyes when they landed on Jake, who was waiting for me next to my truck, sitting atop one of our dirtbikes. Hadn't my dad confiscated those? When his eyes lit upon me, something akin to relief flashed through them. It was immediately replaced by a massive grin.

Pretending not to see him, I rounded Jake, making a beeline for my truck. Jake, of course, couldn't read that I was in a downright pissy mood and waved at me eagerly. What was with everyone being so freaking happy today?

"Bella!" He grinned, still waving like a doofus.

"What are you doing here? Didn't you hear me when I told you that I'd call you when I felt like talking to you again? Remember, it was when you woke me up by throwing rocks at my house in the middle of the night?" I snipped.

Jake pshawed. He actually pshawed at me. "Are you still upset about that? It's been two days. Come on, Bells, live a little. Forgive and forget."

"I am living," I huffed out a breath irritably. "See? Breathing."

It was Jacob's turn to roll his eyes. "Bella, Bella. Never change. I figured we could go for a ride." He patted his leather bike seat lovingly. "There are some things I need to talk to you about. It's important." He pouted like a three-year-old. "Really important."

I crossed my arms. "I'm listening. If it's important, you can say it here."

"Uh, no, I really can't." He shook his head forcefully, sending his long black ponytail flying.

"I guess it isn't that important then, is it?" I questioned flippantly.

"It's tribe business, Bella," he said forcefully, all hints of teasing now gone. "It's confidential. And it involves your safety."

"You don't need to worry about my safety," I retorted meanly. "My dad has already taken on that duty."

"Isabella," Jake growled, his tone now stern, a complete one eighty from his former playful one. Did he just full name me? I swear I felt steam start to pour out of my ears, like I was a Saturday morning cartoon character. "This is not a joking matter. Come with me now. I need to talk to you."

"I don't know who you think you are, Jake," I snarled, the volume of my voice creeping steadily higher, "but I am two years older than you. I can deal with any issues that arise regarding my safety on my own."

"You don't understand!" he cried, drawing the attention of a few onlookers, one of which happened to be Alice Cullen. She dropped Jasper's hand and rushed to my side.

"Bella, is this guy bothering you?" I'd never been so grateful to hear Alice's voice in my life. Her tone was sweet, but there was an underlying hostility I wouldn't have thought her capable of previously.

I glared at Jake. "Yes."

"Listen, Cullen," Jake barked, "this is none of your business, so if you wouldn't mind butting out, I need to talk to Bella."

"Actually, _Black_, when you're harassing one of my friends, it becomes my business," Alice snapped.

My eyebrows soared towards my hairline. Alice and Jake knew one another? Since when? How?

"Your friend?" Jake laughed manically. "You don't know what friendship is."

"Seems I know more than you," Alice retorted. "I know better than to try to coerce my friends into doing things that they don't want to do."

"Um, guys," I interrupted tentatively. My bad mood was starting to fade as shock settled its place. "Please, there's no need to fight. Jake, just go home. I'm fine."

"You know what? Fine," Jake grumbled, already returning his helmet to his head. "I'm done trying to help you. If you want to sign your life over to a leech, that's your problem. I'll see you at your funeral. Have a nice life."

With that, he toed the kickstand on his bike with a loud clatter and turned the throttle, dust and black hair flying behind him.

Once he was gone, I felt a sudden flash of regret for my surly attitude. It was Edward I was mad at, not Jake. I knew I could hold a grudge, but truthfully, I'd gotten over the stupid little tiff about the window almost immediately after it had happened. Jake had just been unfortunate enough to be on the warpath of Hurricane Bella and my monumental bad mood.

I turned to Alice, my eyes still wide from the confrontation. She smiled at me sympathetically. "Don't worry about it, Bella. He'll get over it. Give him a day or two, then try talking to him."

My brow crinkled, I blinked at her, more confused than ever. I was too stunned to try to pin down one of the many questions zipping about my mind. Hadn't she just been yelling in his face? Now she was giving me advice about how to patch up my friendship with him? Were they actually friends? Or enemies? And what exactly was Jake talking about that had him so upset?

"Are you going to be okay?" Alice asked.

Bizarrely, I felt a rush of affection for her. Minutes ago, I would have never thought such a feeling possible. She was the polar opposite of me in every way. I'd always been more exasperated with her extreme personality than anything.

"Yeah, I'll be okay," I assured her. "Thanks for your help with Jake. He can be stubborn."

She muttered something under her breath. "No problem. It was my pleasure. Us girls have to stick together. I'll see you around?"

I nodded. "See you around," I repeated dumbly, watching as she turned to reclaim Jasper's hand. Jasper half-smiled at me, so I tried to smile back, but the effort was rather weak. Together they walked towards the crimson BMW where Rosalie was already waiting, her pink nails tapping on the steering wheel impatiently.

I entered my own vehicle and rested my head on the steering wheel, still processing everything that had happened. My head was still spinning from the confrontation with Jake and Alice… thoughts of the strange noises… Edward and his peculiar exit … my attempts to make sense it all. What was going on?

My life was a circus. All I was missing were the elephants. God, I missed being boring.


	7. Disconcerted

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary: **__Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Seven; Disconcerted_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_**AN:**__ This is quite an important chapter. Originally, a few more scenes were supposed to be included, but it started getting a little long, so it's been cut down, and the next chapter will cover those. Hopefully it's still enjoyable. Update might be a while away, as I will be leaving the country on Friday for a week, for sunny beaches._

_As always thank you to everyone who reads and reviews. I'm thrilled with the response and always encourage your comments. I like hearing what you think I'm doing wrong, or right, and try to respond to questions about this alt. universe :)_

xx

I shook my head as Bella rambled on about how she was unafraid of death and her disbelief in the concept of an afterlife.

I wasn't sure whether to be pleased or horrified by the revelation.

A part of me was in awe of her bravery and how willingly she tackled such a controversial topic with such intelligent rationalization. Another part of me was terrified by the potential for recklessness concealed behind her answer. Finally, a part of me was thrilled that death and salvation was not something that frightened her. It meant she would likely not be adverse to vampirism. I squashed the latter thought. As much as I wanted Bella, I did not want to subject her to this life. How could I force upon her something that I struggled with every moment of my existence?

I was mulling over everything that she had said, teasing her for her hopeless romantic tendencies, when I heard an unsettling noise in the distance. I continued to banter with her, though the majority of my attention was focused on the rapidly approaching noises, and potential threat they posed. I had a sneaking suspicion I knew what was triggering them and I didn't like the thought at all. Especially not with Bella in the vicinity.

The ripping and shredding sounds were growing more distinct the closer they came. The forest was, quite literally, being torn apart. I could hear roots being ripped from the ground, snapping and thrashing branches protesting as they were brutally slashed apart. I'd only ever heard one thing capable of wrecking such havoc.

A vampire.

James and Victoria had to be back. They were too far off for me to identify them by scent, but I was sure of it. It had only been 24 hours. It was soon, but not alarmingly so. I berated myself for not considering the possibility of their return. They'd disappeared into this very direction the night before.

I couldn't let them find Bella.

Beginning to panic, I pulled Bella up, ignoring her shocked expression. I was vaguely aware that I was touching her, even though I had promised myself I wouldn't, not until I had unraveled all my lies, and laid myself bare before her. Today, I'd only spun more lies, grounded in bits of truth, so that day was a long way off. I couldn't bring myself to care that I'd broken that promise.

Her safety had to come first. It had been stupid of me to come to the meadow while James and Victoria were out blowing off steam, their whereabouts unknown. I knew they enjoyed playing twisted, predatory games of hide and seek to calm one another. There was no better place for that than the woods. I had been stupid to assume they would venture farther away. My selfish desire to see Bella had won out over protecting her.

In the back recesses of my mind, a little voice reminded me she would have shown up in the meadow, even if I didn't and worse, I wouldn't have been here to protect her. Regardless I couldn't let go of my guilt at the thought of her fragile form battered and bruised, or worse yet lifeless, as the result of my failures.

"Go home. Now," I demanded, dragging her towards the path.

I briefly considered escorting her all the way to her home, but reasoned it would be better for me to intercept James and Victoria before they could catch her scent. Bella followed me mutely, no doubt too terrified to speak.

"Hurry home. Please. Go," I pleaded, guiding her until she was concealed by foliage and no longer visible from the meadow.

I quickly sprinted in the opposite direction, heading for James and Victoria.

For once, the act of running did nothing to calm me. If I didn't already know better, I would have sworn I had adrenaline running through my veins. Instead of feeling grounded, I felt like a live wire, ready to strike anything that threatened my brown-eyed girl.

The closer I got to the source of destruction, the more my pseudo-adrenaline pumped. The destructive noises had stopped, but I knew better than to assume James and Victoria had peaceably returned to our temporary home.

I breathed a slight sigh of relief once I was a good distance away from the meadow. When I crossed paths with James and Victoria, they would be unable to smell the mingling of my scent with Bella's in the meadow. They'd no doubt smell her on me, but I was around humans all the time, so it wouldn't be all that unusual to smell a human scent on me. It would unquestionably be a lot weaker than the one that permeated the meadow, so they'd have no reason to believe I'd been spending inordinate amounts of time with a single human.

I'd been wise enough to change clothes after previous encounters with Bella, and wash myself soon after returning home, avoiding James and Victoria until I had. James had made fun of my now daily showering habit but never indicated any suspicion. Even so, a vampire's olfactory senses were more powerful than a simple change of clothes and a shower. I just prayed they wouldn't recognize that this particular scent as a reoccurring one.

When I was right on top of the area where the destruction of the forest had ceased, I was surprised to find I couldn't smell James or Victoria anywhere. I'd lived with them long enough to be able to recognize their scents without a second thought.

All I could smell was the earthy smell of forest and the pungent smell of animals. There was a clear trail, indicating the path the havoc-wreakers had taken. It abruptly stopped, right where I was standing. I looked around me at the chaotic mess of torn branches, confused. This did not look like the work of a pair of vampires. It was too disorganized, too random and uncalculated.

I sniffed around, attempting to find a scent to follow, but was assaulted by the most abhorrent odor I'd ever come across instead. It smelled like wet dog but even more putrid.

My body tensed unconsciously, triggered purely by instinct, as it often did when I hunted.

A series of loud snarls cut through the air. Before I had time to process the potential annoyance, a triumvirate of wolves formed a spearhead formation in front of me. They were immediately flanked by two more.

They didn't seem to fear me at all. They were incredibly fast for wolves. I'd never seen anything, vampires aside, move so quickly. Even more curiously, they were easily the size of bears. If I hadn't been a mythical being myself, I might not have believed it.

None of these oddities were the most fascinating thing about them, however. These wolves had the most unusual minds of any animals I'd ever come across.

I berated myself for having tuned out thoughts other than my own after I'd left Bella, assuming I'd run into James and Victoria, with whom mind reading was typically useless.

If I'd been less presumptive I might have actually heard them approaching. Their thoughts were incredibly boisterous. It was hard to believe I hadn't heard them over my own thoughts. One of them seemed particularly angry, and therefore his thoughts especially loud.

I'd always been able to read the thoughts of animals, but it tended to work more like an emotional gauge, reading vague feelings. I'd never before heard one form coherent sentences. These wolves thought like humans. Their thoughts were in perfect English.

Even more strange, they seemed to be mind readers, too. A thought from any one of them was immediately echoed in the minds of the others. I wondered briefly if they could read my mind. I couldn't hear my thoughts echoing, so I figured they were only capable of reading the thoughts of their own kind.

What exactly that was, I wasn't sure.

James had told me about the Children of the Moon. He and Victoria had tried stalking one of them across northern Siberia before I'd joined them as a challenge to his tracking abilities. These wolves were not as James had described the them. For one, it was broad daylight; the Children of the Moon were solely nocturnal.

The Children of the Moon were potentially lethal to vampires. If these wolves were even distant cousins to them in any form, I was in trouble. There was no way I could take on five of them and live to tell the tale.

As if they sensed my trepidation, the one with the dark silver fur lunged for me. My split second of curiosity had been enough for him to catch sight of me. With a warning in the form of its violent thoughts, I easily dodged the blow and quickly swung myself up into a tree, making sure to keep my mind open to their thoughts, in case they decided to follow or attack again.

'_Paul! What the fuck do you think you're doing?'_ the one with the midnight black fur roared across their mind-link. '_Do you want to get yourself killed? You know one bite from a leech is lethal. That's all it takes and you kiss your life goodbye!'_

'_I didn't get a good look at him; he moves more quickly than the others of his kind. He's definitely a red-eyes, though,_' the silver one, whom I assumed was Paul, responded irritably_. 'I can smell it on him. They smell different, like death. We just got thwarted by a pair of fucking red-eyes. You think I'm going to let another one of them get away?' _An image of James and Victoria flashed through his mind, quickly followed by an echo in the others'.

'_You have got to calm down,' _another wolf, one with shaggy russet coloured fur, said urgently. '_If you don't, we're all going to get ourselves killed, and we aren't going to be any good to anyone, then.'_

'_Who the fuck cares?'_ Paul wailed angrily._ 'These bloodsuckers are killing our friends and our families. You really expect me to sit by and do nothing?'_

'_Not nothing!' _the black one said firmly._ 'But I would prefer if we all came out of this alive. If we had a plan of attack rather than blindly rushing into a fight while our emotions are running high, there's a better chance of that happening. I'm the alpha and I give the orders. If you can't handle it, go back home. The rest of us can handle this one. He's by himself, we'll be fine.'_

Paul growled._ 'Yeah fucking right. Like I'd let you assholes have all the fun. Since that red-eyes with the dreadlocks, we haven't had any excitement around here.' _An image of a familiar dark-skinned vampire floated through his mind.

The black one sighed internally_, _loud enough to send a huff echoing across the wolf-link._ 'This is not fun and games, Paul. It's life and death. If we make a mistake it's not like we can press the reset button and try again._

The brown one snickered._ 'Like that'd help Paul, anyway. Do you have any idea how many times he played Grand Theft Auto before he made it past the first level?'_

'_Shut up, asshole.' _

'_Hey, just stating the facts,' _the brown wolf said smugly._ 'Not my fault you've got no game.'_

'_Whatever, jerkwad,' _Paul retorted, _'that's not what Kim said.' _If wolves could smirk, I think he might have been.

The brown wolf growled and lunged at Paul, tackling him to the ground, a beefy paw clamped over the silver wolf's jugular._ 'Take that back!'_

'_Paul! Jared! Quit it. Now!' _the alpha commanded, his tone leaving no room for dispute_._

The other wolves immediately sobered.

_'This is no time to be fucking around. You're not pups anymore. We're in the middle of a hunt, which means all of our attention should be on the hunt. One stupid move could be fatal. I need you to take this seriously.'_

The brown wolf, Jared, grudgingly let go of Paul, but not before accidentally-on-purpose slapping him with his tail. Paul shook his fur out to remove the leaves, shooting a dirty look at the other wolf.

Paul's exaggerated eye-roll bounced through every mind in the direct vicinity. _'Stop being such a tight-ass, Sam. Of course we take this seriously.'_

'_Then act like it and keep your emotions in check,' _Sam reprimanded._ 'Otherwise, you'll get us all injured, or worse.'_

'_Yes, master.' _The rest of them all snickered at the quip, and I had to stifle a laugh myself. They sounded like a pack of hyenas. It was a strange thing to see a pack of wolves grinning.

'_Okay,' _Sam said, and I immediately understood why he was the alpha. With just one word he had made it clear that there was no questioning his authority.

_'Before you idiots decided to waste our precious time, the red-eyes fled up into the trees. As I'm sure you can all smell, the he's up in that tree over there,' _he nodded his furry head in my direction,_ 'probably watching us, waiting for us to leave. He's probably confused, wondering who and what we are and watching us to gather information. We're going to use the element of surprise against him. On my count of three, we're going to bring the tree down.'_

Thankful that I intercepted their plot before it happened, I was able to move before they brought the massive oak I'd been crouched in tumbling to the ground. I immediately fled, leaping silently from branch to branch, tree to tree, the pack in close pursuit on the forest floor, their bulky forms unable to follow me into the treetops. They'd occasionally thrash the trees in an attempt to knock me down. I was quicker than they were though, and was able to stay a few paces ahead of them at all times. I was sure, given some time I could lose them, especially with the advantage of hearing their thoughts.

'_Guys?'_ said one of the wolves – one of the two whose names I hadn't been able to deduce, and the only one who hadn't said anything yet – asked, sniffing my trail as he ran, '_Do you smell that? He smells a little like Bella. It's faint, but…'_

'_Bella?'_ the name echoed through all their minds questioningly. Recognition of her scent flashed soon after. What the fuck? How did these dogs know what my Bella smelled like?

'_Fucking bastard!'_ the russet wolf roared. '_He better not have fucking hurt her. I'll kill him.' _He increased his pace, so he was leading the pack instead of the black wolf, something that displeased the alpha.

The russet wolf's anger must have given him a shot of adrenaline, because he was actually able to regain some ground between us. He toppled the tree I was standing in quickly enough that I was unable to shift my weight from it to the next one. I went flying down to the ground. I was able to catch myself into a crouch before I hit the forest floor but the error afforded the rest of pack the opportunity to close the short gap between us. They quickly surrounded me.

There was a murmur of assent that I was indeed a red-eyes as Paul had suggested, followed by a flash of anger. I thought it was pretty fucking obvious I was a vampire based on my speed alone, but then again, who knew what else was out there? I never would have considered the possibility that there were multiple forms of werewolves in existence before today.

The russet wolf advanced slightly more than the others, apparently ready to pummel me into bite sized pieces. As if I was prepared to let him.

I sprung up from my crouch, managing enough momentum to backflip into a nearby maple. Five sets of jaws snapped in my direction angrily. Though gauging their vaguely appreciative thoughts, I think they were slightly impressed with my gymnastics. I hoisted myself higher into the tree, away from the snarling and stench of wet fur.

The intrigue in their thoughts was almost immediately replaced with alarm that I was escaping. I heard their thoughts rumbling angrily behind me but pushed them to the back of my mind, the need to live at the forefront of my mind, survival instincts taking over.

Once they were distracted, I didn't think twice. I lowered myself to the forest floor and ran, my legs pumping as quickly as they were capable. I'm sure I looked like little more than a blur of colour, moving at the speed of sound. I was fast, even for a vampire. I was sure I could lose them if I could just get a little head start. While staying in the tree tops kept me immediately away from their snapping jaws, I was much faster on foot than while emulating Tarzan. I'd have to cross water to distort my scent, I reminded myself, already mapping an escape route in my mind.

I gave myself a few seconds to run. I was a safe distance ahead, no longer within visual range, so I allowed myself to refocus on what they were thinking but kept up my pace. In the event they offered up anything that would be advantageous to me, I wanted to be in on it.

They had barely begun to resume the chase when I saw my face flash across their bond, through the alpha's thoughts, a note of shock and recognition colouring the image. A moment later Sam bellowed, _'Stop!' _Immediately, as if against their individual will, each member of the pack ground to a halt. They stood completely still. The only movement amongst them was the ruffling of their fur as the breeze whistled through the trees around them.

'_Stop? Why the hell are we stopping!'_ the russet wolf growled, baring his teeth. _'Let me go, asshole! He's getting away!'_

'_No._ _He's the one! The one Carlisle said–'_ Sam started.

The russet wolf's thoughts were intense enough to drown Sam's in volume. '_I don't give a flying fuck about what Carlisle said! He might have hurt Bella! She could be dead because of him! He's a fucking red-eyes, Sam! You saw his eyes! We all did! How else do you explain it? Carlisle is a liar!'_

'_Jacob, we have an agreement with Carlisle. We promised. Carlisle assured us he was safe. Do you really want to start a war with the Cullens? There's too many of them, our numbers would be annihilated.'_

They were a good distance away now, the volume of thoughts was fading so I could barely hear them.

'_I don't_...' I heard Jacob say, before all their thoughts were lost to silence.

I was too perplexed by what I had learned to be relieved that I was no longer within chasing distance of five massive wolves who clearly wanted me dead. Someone named Carlisle, someone I had never met, let alone heard of, had ordered they not kill me.

Unsure what else to do or who to turn to, I decided to go back to the bed and breakfast. Perhaps James could help me track this Carlisle person and get some answers. I still wasn't thrilled with James and Victoria after the altercation we'd had. However, they seemed like the safest option, now. If there were three of us, we'd have a better chance of surviving against the mutant wolves, should they decide to attack again.

I'd chosen to stay in Seattle the previous night, after James and Victoria had left, not wanting to be in Forks when they returned. I'd withdrawn a sizable amount of cash from the account we all shared. More than enough to pay for a luxury hotel in the city. I didn't want to have to withdraw multiple times, as the banking statements would give away ATM locations. James would think nothing of pulling up banking documentation to find where I'd last withdrawn money if he so wanted.

Tracking was his specialty, so he felt entitled to such information. My precaution wouldn't stop him from following me if he wanted to, however. I wasn't about to make it easy on the bastard. After nine decades I'd caught on to many of his lazy-tracker habits. The things he'd do in order to avoid doing any real work. At least if he wanted to track me, he'd have to put some effort into it.

The hotel receptionist had looked at me doubtfully, assuming I was a criminal forger when I'd forked over nearly two grand in cash for a week's stay. Paying a lump sum in cash was safer in the event that James decided to track me down, however. I'd flashed her my most dazzling please-help-me grin and she had smiled back widely, immediately accepting the money and informing me she could bump me up to a presidential suite, no extra cost.

Well, at least if the situation with James and Victoria went sour again, I'd have somewhere to go for the rest of the week.

xx

"Edward! You're back!" Victoria called out, sticking her head out the front door of our cabin the second I was within sight. Even though I was a quarter of a mile away and her voice was barely above conversational level, she knew I'd hear her.

Her eyes were trained on my form, watching every step I took like a hawk monitoring its prey. It made me slightly uneasy how focused her gaze was. I had never noticed it before. Was it inspired by her worry or was it something more permanent I'd never cared to notice? The thought was unsettling, so I pushed it to the back of my mind. James was nowhere in sight, a fact which pleased me, though I knew he must be nearby if Victoria was. Emotional welcome homes weren't his style.

I walked slowly, closing the football-field sized gap between us, suddenly dreading talking to her. She wrinkled her nose the closer I got, no doubt picking up my foul scent.

"You smell like those disgusting dogs. Did they chase you, too?" she asked, appraising my clothing for signs of damage.

Slightly annoyed that she was acting as if nothing had happened between us, I snapped, "No. I just felt like rolling around in their doggie beds. I think I have found next season's couture scent. What do you think?"

Victoria rolled her eyes. "We missed you, too. Did you have fun at the Fairmont?"

I sighed in response. "I wasn't at the Fairmont," I lied, shoving past Victoria into the cabin. I wasn't sure why I bothered to lie. Perhaps my irritation with my coven members was still pettily festering away.

James was sprawled across a love seat, watching something on the television, grumbling about something or other. His face settled into a scowl when his eyes settled on me.

"Yes, you were," he declared.

I hadn't exactly been expecting "sorry," but a "hello," might have been nice. Further arguing took precedence over pleasantries, apparently.

"How would you know?" I grumbled. "Were you following me?"

I wished I could say I didn't think he was but that would have been a massive fib. James needed no real motive to stalk besides the sheer thrill of it.

"No. I didn't need to. You just happen to be the most predictable asstard on the planet."

"Fine," I snapped. "The Fairmont was lovely, but it's _awesome_ to be back."

"Save the sarcasm, will you?" Victoria huffed. "We've got more pressing issues to deal with."

"Like the dogs?" I wondered stupidly. There was nothing else they could be referring to.

"What else?"

"I don't see what we can do about it," I grumbled, "except move."

James sniffed. "I'm not moving because of some disgusting, hairy mongrel."

I smirked. "That's not nice. Victoria has never says that to you when you want to move."

James snarled, displeased with the comparison. "Do you always have to be such an ass? Vic was worried about you when we got back and you were gone. I wish I could say the same, but you know…"

"Right. I'm the ass," I deadpanned.

"Must we go into this again?" Victoria interrupted. "At first I thought it was cute, the two of you fighting to be all 'man of the house,' but let's face it, women wear the power panties, so you two fighting over who gets to be alpha male is a moot point."

James sauntered to her side, cockily, wrapping an arm around her. "That's not what you were saying last night," he whispered in her ear, twisting one of her red curls around his finger. I fought the urge to regurgitate whatever blood was left in my system. Damn vampire hearing.

"Did you know they think like humans?" I said loudly, hoping to interrupt the nauseating display. "They have human names and can read one another's minds. They think of it as a 'pack-mind.' It's fascinating."

James was still latched to Victoria's side but paused to shrug. Victoria didn't look all that interested either. "So? Why should I care what goes on in the minds of those fucking pups?"

"I don't know? Perhaps so you can avoid getting killed by them?" I said sardonically, entirely fed up with James and his condescending attitude. I could scarcely believe I had considered asking him for help. He was the last person I should consider an ally.

His answering smirk was painfully arrogant. "Vicky can take care of that," he said sweetly. "Isn't that right, baby?" he asked needlessly, pecking his mate, who nodded, equally as smug. "You know what she can do. We're never in danger if she's nearby. Of course, we only ran because we were outnumbered. It wouldn't have been a fair fight."

"Is that how you two managed to evade them?" I asked, genuinely curious, ignoring his rationalization for cowardice. "Victoria's self-preservation instincts kicked in?"

"Of course," he said, confused. "How did you? If they caught your trail… well, I'm shocked you managed to ditch the retarded things. They're as persistent as they are stupid. Though you are one fast little shit."

"I could hear what they were thinking," I half-lied, not prepared to reveal that some Carlisle person had actually saved my life. That was something I would be keeping to myself, now. I would deal with him on my own. "They recognized I was a threat to humans. However, they're all quite young. They're not very skilled or subtle hunters. I managed to get away from them when there was a minor mutiny in the pack."

"So what you're saying is those stupid little furballs purposefully chase vampires?" James asked incredulously. "They saw we were a danger to humans and decided to kill us for it?"

"They think it's their duty to protect humans. It's instinctual to them like drinking blood is to us," I explained patiently. James' small-mindedness was grating.

He scoffed. "These pups are stupider than the Children of the Moon. They were violent beasts but they had no perceptions of grandeur. They attacked whatever was in their path, plain and simple. These naïve, glorified dogs think they stand a chance against us?"

"They killed Laurent," I said simply. James would remember the Quebecois vampire that had joined our small coven, briefly. He and James, like James and most people, were incompatible personalities. He'd left only months after joining us.

I was surprised when Victoria, rather than James, expressed shock.

"Laurent is dead?" Her tone almost seemed remorseful. If she were capable of compassion, I'd have thought she was sorry to hear he was gone. They had bonded somewhat during the short time he'd traveled with us. He'd shown a loyalty to Victoria that he never had to James or I.

"Yes."

"And the pups killed him?" James asked, as if I hadn't already made that fact clear. I nodded.

"Then he fucking deserved it. What vampire can't outsmart a bunch of overgrown puppies?" I didn't attempt to correct James' misconceptions. The wolves were more intelligent and powerful than he gave them credit for. They were young, yes, but they showed promise and, for the most part, had good instincts.

"We should all stay close, just in case the dumbass furballs decide to go for round two," he continued. "We should be able to take out the pack of them easily enough with the three of us. That's less than two wolves for each of us."

Before James could run off into a spiel about the superiority of vampires above all other species, I interrupted, rolling my shoulders. "I'm tired. I just want to rest. I'm going to go read."

James sniffed, muttering something about wasting my time. I ignored him, walking past him to the room that had been designated as mine.

Ever since I'd met Bella, reading had come to have an extraordinary calming effect on me. The musty scent of old paper and book bindings reminded me of her. It was soothing. I'd always enjoyed reading and learning. Now the process was cathartic; a way to be close to her without posing any danger to her. No amount of reading would be enough tonight, though.

I could hardly wait to see her again. I wouldn't be able to fully relax until I did. I half-considered returning to the meadow and following her scent to her home but ultimately decided that would be a violation. There was no way I wanted to add that to my list of crimes against her. One less thing to lie about, the better.

I settled onto the large bed in the middle of the room, grabbing Bella's favourite book, which I had conveniently stored atop my nightstand. I had decided I'd give Heathcliff another chance.

I wondered if I was willing to give James one.

I was really starting to question if staying with James and Victoria was what was best for me. If it weren't for the threat of the wolves and the safety of staying in a group, would I have bothered to return? When the cold, hard realization that I had no concrete answer to that question hit me, I was more than a little stunned.

I was more stunned when I considered that I wasn't even really all that worried about the wolves. Carlisle, whoever he was, had granted me immunity against their aggression. Who would be strong enough to wage a war against a pack of supernatural wolves? Another pack? An agent of the Volturi sent to protect my gift from destruction? Some other mythical creature I'd never before considered the existence of? More importantly, who would care to protect me?

I had answers to none of these questions, but regardless, I was certain I was safe. I could have gone to the city. Victoria and James were the ones who needed protection. They needed me more than I needed them. I wasn't sure if I cared. If I left, it would be their problem to deal with, not mine. My ambivalence to the thought of parting ways with my coven surprised me. I might have disliked James, but I'd never before truly considered leaving.

I picked up the book, flipping to the first page with a confused sigh.

If Heathcliff got a second chance, surely James deserved one, too?


	8. Tenacious

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary: **__Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Eight; Tenacious_

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN:**__ Sorry for the lateness of this chapter. My inspiration to write went on vacation much longer than I did. I'm not exactly thrilled with it, but hey, it's done, right?_

_Hope it reads better for you guys than it did for me. As always, thanks to those of you that continue to support the story, you make me happy :) I hope to have the next chapter to you sooner than a month next time. Leave another review, won't you? I'm in need of a kick in the ass, clearly._

xx

The drive home was much less eventful than the events proceeding it. Driving, even if it was in my ancient truck, was soothing. The predictable sputtering of the worn engine was familiar and comforting.

By the time I pulled into the driveway, a small degree of tension had melted away. Not enough, though. I could still feel the lingering of my bad mood in the back recesses of my mind and body. My shoulders were a little too tense and my mind was a little too frayed.

Just the thought of seeing Edward again had me on edge. On one hand, I wanted to ignore him, like he had me, and refuse to show up in the meadow. On the other hand, the more dominant one, I knew I needed to see him.

The tiny niggling part of me that held a grudge won out. Mom had always said I inherited Dad's stubbornness tenfold, and Charlie was pretty stubborn.

Recalling the way Edward had been so evasive, treating me like a child, refusing to tell me anything, even though I had every right to know, made that small spark of anger residing in the pit of my stomach flare up into my throat like bile. He could have a taste of his own bitter medicine when he was left to wonder why I hadn't shown up in the meadow. Maybe then he'd see how much it sucked to be left in the dark with no answers.

The small grudge-holding part of me really liked this plan.

I stormed up the stairs, dropping my feet on each wooden step loudly. The boisterous noises filled me with an odd gratification. Kicking off my boots, I plopped myself in front of my laptop. I checked my email. Only a letter from my mom and updates from several unimportant subscriptions that I rarely checked filled my inbox.

I quickly replied to my mom, half of my mind still on Edward. Though I pretended I wasn't, I was fully conscious of the fact that he would be waiting for me in the meadow by now. It was 3:15. That was usually the time that I'd show up and he'd smile his beautiful white smile at me and I'd smile back and sit down across from him in the grass...

Shaking my head as though I could physically dislodge the unwanted thoughts from it, I resolved to finish the English essay I'd been assigned earlier in the day. It worked for about five minutes. I managed to concentrate on the question Mr. Mason had assigned long enough to read it twice and jot down a few ideas for an outline. My attention didn't stay focused long.

The moment I propped open _The Heart of Darkness_ it was like I was playing an Edward-centric game of word association. It was funny how even stupid, insignificant words would make me think of him.

"Red" reminded me of the flashes of colour in his hair. "Sky" reminded me of the way we had laid down in the grass and stared up at the clouds in companionable silence. "Destiny" reminded me of our strangely coincidental meeting. Heck, even "yes" reminded me of him. Whenever I'd read it, all I could think about was the way his velvet voice wrapped around the syllable when he would answer a question I'd asked him. And then, when I'd think of his voice, I'd think of his laugh, and I'd smile dopily at the book, like I'd been indulging in certain substances my dad had confiscated from Tyler's locker last week.

I trudged through my homework this way for about twenty minutes, pausing frequently as reminders of Edward darted across the pages, distracting me from doing any real work.

Frustrated with my own single-mindedness, I tossed the book on my desk, staring blankly at the cover for a few moments. Even the trees pictured on the cover reminded me of him and the stupid little corner of the forest we shared, a fact which only bolstered my annoyance with both myself and him.

Stupid, beautiful, annoying boy.

An angry glance at the clock revealed it was almost four o'clock.

Suddenly regretful, I wondered if maybe that was enough time to punish him. After all, he'd been waiting for over half an hour now. By the time I reached the meadow if I did go, it'd be even longer. He had to be wondering why I neglected to show up. Best of all he was left gloriously in the dark the whole time. Then guilt began to creep in. I wasn't being too spiteful, was I?

I was kind of punishing myself too, I reasoned. The longer I refused to see him, the longer that I would be left in the dark too. I wanted answers. And more than that, a tiny, little subconscious voice in the back of my head chimed in, I really wanted to see him, even if I was kind of upset with him.

Ten minutes and a too-long hike down the well-worn trail behind my house later, I was sweating, the unusually warm, sunlit Forks day making the walk take longer than usual.

When I reached the meadow, Edward was nowhere to be found.

A tendril of dread began to creep up my stomach. Had he been here and left? What if he didn't wait for me? What if he thought I wasn't worth waiting a measly half hour for? Or worse, what if he'd never shown up? What if that thing that had pulled him away yesterday was preventing him from coming today? Or he was hurt because of it?

Fighting the urge to call my dad and ask him to check hospital records for recently admitted patients named Edward, I settled into the long grass, the familiar tense but anticipatory feeling of waiting for something you weren't sure you would like settling around me.

An hour later my nerves were shot. I sat completely still, staring off into space, thinking of all the things that could have happened to Edward while I was off being stupid and spiteful. My mind whizzed around a mile a minute, conjuring up dozens of horrible what-if scenarios.

Waiting was just making it worse. Staying any longer would just drive me crazy.

Resigned that he wasn't coming, I trekked back home, my stomach in knots. For the first time in two weeks, I made Charlie dinner.

He noticed something was wrong but wisely didn't try to make small talk over the tacos I had prepared. I wasn't sure I could stomach another of Charlie's attempts at "dad" conversation. He was probably just thankful that he had a home-cooked meal on his plate that didn't consist of toaster strudels or poptarts. Though Charlie scarfed down three in short order, I hardly took two bites of mine.

I couldn't work up the nerve to ask Charlie about Edward, either. I wasn't sure how exactly I'd bring it up, anyway. Dad knew my school friends. Asking him about the wellbeing of a stranger seemed out of place.

I didn't think saying, "Dad? I've been secretly meeting up with this strange, beautiful boy I met in the forest when I said I was doing my homework. Anyway, he didn't show up today, so I was wondering if you could check if he got killed?" would work.

I zoned through the rest of the evening on autopilot, my mind never straying from thoughts of where Edward was or if he was okay, even as I moved through my mundane routine. Sleep was just as elusive as the answers to the multiple questions swirling about my head.

The next day at school wasn't much better. All day my thoughts would routinely drift back to Edward, not that they ever really drifted away from him. He was a constant whisper in the back of my mind.

Angela shot me concerned looks all through government. Thank god it was the last of the day. I didn't think I could have taken her sympathetic looks for the entire day. Mr. Jefferson eventually coupled us off, handing out an assignment for us to complete in our assigned pairs. I was with Angela, who used the opportunity to bestow even more pitying looks.

Finally, unable to take any more, I glared at her. "I'm fine, Angela. You can stop looking at me like that, okay?"

"Bell, I don't know what you are, but it isn't fine. You haven't said anything all class. It's not like you to not raise your hand when Mr. Jefferson asks a question. You know the answers even no one else does."

I sighed and rubbed my face. "I'm just tired, Ang. I've had a long couple of days."

Angela nodded. "Maybe. But that's not all. You've been…happy, for lack of a better word, the last few days and suddenly you're not? Something is up. Is it Jacob? Mike said you guys were fighting in the parking lot. Are you guys…you know?"

"What! No!" I screeched, a little appalled at the thought. "I mean, yeah, we did fight, but we're friends. Nothing more. Never have been, never will be. He's like my little brother. He's two years younger than me; it would be weird."

"If it's not that... is it another guy, then?" Angela asked tentatively, as if asking the question carefully would prevent me from freaking out.

"No," I lied, my tone firm, though the furious flushing of my cheeks gave the untruth away, if there was any doubt. I was a horrible liar.

"It is!" Angela smiled warmly. "It's okay. I understand if you don't want to talk about it. I won't tell Jess or Lauren, I promise. But if you do, you know I'll listen, right?"

I smiled back reflexively. "I know. You'll be the first one I come to. It's just complicated right now. He doesn't go to school here. Yesterday we were supposed to meet up and he didn't show up. I'm a bit worried about him."

Angela squinted at me, her warm brown eyes crinkling in understanding. Instead of asking questions, she cracked a joke. "Ooh, daring, Swan, going for an outsider."

For the first time in over twenty-four hours, I laughed. "Well…the dating pool in Forks is kind of limited," I joked. "But, it's not like that. We're friends. I worry about my friends, too, you know."

"But you're hoping for more," Angela said, matter-of-fact. There was no inflection in her tone. It was a non-judgmental statement. Sometimes I really hated the fact that Angela was so perceptive.

My face burned brighter as she drew the correct conclusion. "Maybe," I muttered.

Angela grinned at me. "You're the most persistent person I know, Bella. If you want something to happen, it will."

"Thanks," I said shyly. "That means a lot to me…"

The rest of class I couldn't help the small half-smile that tugged at the corner of my lips. Angela thought there was hope for me and in turn that made me hopeful. Angela wasn't the kind to coddle anyone, even her friends. She was honest to a fault.

xx

I was in the midst of packing up my things after last period, neatly stuffing papers into my homework folder and loading down my backpack with textbooks, when a flash of black hair whizzed by me.

My gaze focused on Alice, her hand locked in Jasper's. He seemed to be standing as far away from me as possible, while still holding her hand. I wondered briefly if he didn't like me. He seemed to go out of his way to avoid me, while remaining in his orbit with Alice. The only time I'd ever seen them parted from one another was when I'd spent lunch with Alice working on our Spanish project. I shrugged it off. I was probably overreacting. It was most likely some lame chivalrous attempt to give Alice privacy.

"Hey Alice." I attempted to smile in her direction, a weak effort to show my dull tone wasn't her fault.

My nerves over whether or not I'd see Edward tonight were eating away at my stomach. It was the first Friday since we'd started our after-school get-to-know-one-another sessions. Something told me weekends would be different. I didn't know if I could go three more days before I could potentially see him, if he returned at all.

"Oh, hi Bella! I think our Spanish oral went remarkably well! Don't you? Ms. Goff is going to give us an A, I just know it."

I nodded mutely.

"We should totally pair up for our next Spanish assignment. We make great partners! It's been fun getting to know someone in the class who isn't intimidated by me."

My brow scrunched in confusion. Intimidated? Bubbly little Alice intimidated people? She was cute, in a kind of elfin way, but hardly what I'd call intimidating. Her sister, Rosalie, was far more menacing. Nearly six feet of blonde Barbie concealed the spirit of a biker chick, barely.

"I don't understand what you mean."

"I mean that you treat me just like I'm any other student. Not like I'm some social pariah just because I'm a Cullen…you know, one of the wacky, gifted foster children of Dr. Cullen?"

"Anyone who would treat you differently because of who your parents are doesn't deserve to get to know you," I countered. "People act like I'm a burden to be around because I'm related to the police chief, sometimes. I know how it is to feel like people don't like you because of who your family is."

Alice nodded thoughtfully. "They do like you, though. Some of the girls are jealous of you, even."

Before I could challenge that ridiculous statement, she changed the subjected rapidly. "Anyway…Jasper's bored." At the sound of his name, Jasper's head popped up. He shot me a sheepish smirk. "You probably have to get going anyway… he's waiting for you!"

I stared at Alice in shock. "Excuse me?"

She raised a thin eyebrow at me. "I said 'I'll see you.' You know, in class, tomorrow?"

I nodded dumbly. I must have been imagining things. My wishful thinking was causing me to have selective hearing. There's no way Alice could predict what Edward or anyone else was doing, as much as I wished it were possible. Clairvoyance sure would make life easier, I thought wryly.

Despite the pessimistic rumblings of my overactive imagination, the little part of my heart reserved for hope was working at full capacity the entire drive home. By the time I reached the meadow, I'd almost convinced myself that I'd shut it up and that I was prepared for Edward not to be there.

When I caught sight of a flash of bronze amidst the long grass and wildflowers, I knew I was wrong. I wasn't even really surprised to see him. That didn't stop the immense relief I felt at seeing his face or the more beautiful than usual smile stretching across it.

I crossed the meadow in a few seconds, flailing gracelessly as I stumbled through the crabgrass. I didn't care how stupid I looked. Based on his beaming smile, neither did he.

He didn't even comment when I flung myself onto his lap, heaving with unshed tears. He felt hard and masculine, almost rigid, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I was so thrilled to see him, my reaction was completely spontaneous. It didn't matter we'd never been that affectionate before. I needed to touch him to know that he was okay.

His arms wrapped around my waist carefully, almost as though he was bracing me from hitting him too hard, which was ridiculous as I was the one jumping on him. Once neither of us was in any danger of tumbling over (I trusted him to counter my clumsiness) he stiffened.

After several long seconds, he wrapped himself around me fully. A hug from Edward was my new favourite thing ever. He hugged me tightly for a moment, sitting so still I wasn't even sure he was breathing. Finally, he sucked in a shaky breath, tensing and pulling me against him tighter, almost to the point of pain. Before it could register, he loosened his grip, a regretful grimace slipping across his perfect face.

"Thank God you're here!" I wailed, still clinging to his neck. "I was so worried!"

He looked pained. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to frighten you. Worrying you was the last thing I wanted to do."

Now that I knew he was okay, I felt the haze of rage that had been swirling around me for the last few days resurface. "What the hell, Edward!"

I uncurled one of my hands from around his neck and thumped him on the chest. A move, which incidentally, probably hurt me more than him. He hardly flinched, though my fist stung painfully.

He tenderly wrapped his hand around my fist, unfurling it and inspecting my fingers, which were already starting to bruise slightly. His fingers were icy cold, like he'd been waiting in the cool meadow for me for hours. The coldness was soothing to my bruising flesh.

"Please believe me, Bella," he implored. "I'm more sorry than you know. I was trying to protect you."

I glared at him, an expression that was quite hard to pull off while I was half curled around him. "Did it ever occur to you to tell me what the hell was going on? You know, before you demanded I go home without any warning and took off like a bat out of hell? You disappeared, just like that! One second you were behind me and then you weren't. You scared me!"

His expression hardened stubbornly. "I will not apologize for putting your safety first, Bella."

"Okay, fine," I grumbled. "Clearly I'm safe. So explain it to me now, then. What the hell happened?"

"The noises. In the forest," he stated without explanation, averting his eyes from mine, looking at our joined hands, his fingers playing with mine, expertly avoiding the forming bruises.

"Yes?" I asked impatiently, tilting my head to regain his gaze. He stubbornly refused to look my way. Instead of burgundy, all I could see were pale lids and dark lashes. Geez, he had nice eyelashes, though… long and dark… pretty.

"Hmm?" I asked stupidly, realizing I'd been ogling eyelashes of all things, ignoring whatever it was that he'd said.

He smirked, looking up at me again, his eyes playful rather than sorrowful. I mourned the loss of my view of his eyelashes fanning his cheeks, though they did look pretty framing his eyes, too…

"I said the noises worried me. I wanted to make sure you would be safe."

I frowned at his answer. What was with him and my safety?

"That's like the third time you've said that, Edward," I groaned. "You want to keep me safe. What exactly does that mean? How are you any better equipped to handle dangerous things than I am? I could have helped you. I want you to be safe, too, you know."

"Bella, I wish I could tell you what I mean when I say I want to keep you safe, but I can't. It would only put you in danger, knowing. That is something I won't do. To have any harm befall you because of me, it would kill me, Bella. I know we hardly know one another but you're very important to me."

My heart swelled at his words. It was becoming increasingly difficult to stay mad at him when he said things like that, even if I had suspicions it was because he was being a misogynist pig.

"You're important to me, too," I whispered, laying my head against his shoulder, suddenly needing to be closer. "But just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I need you to protect me."

Edward looked affronted at my rejection of his macho man protective instincts.

"Your gender has nothing to do with anything, Bella," he said stubbornly, his burgundy eyes narrowing, challenging me to argue.

"So let me get this straight… you have no plans to tell me what happened to cause you to leave on Wednesday?"

He nodded defiantly. "I'm sorry that it has to be this way, Bella. Truly, I am."

He peered into my eyes imploringly, the unusual burgundy hue of them burning pleasurably into mine.

"It doesn't have to be. You could just tell me."

"No, Bella, I can't."

I rolled my eyes. "Just one little hint?"

He shook his head stonily, his bronze hair flipping in the wind attractively. He even made "no" look appealing. My irritation spiked.

"Not even a little one?"

Edward looked almost amused. "You are so stubborn."

Sighing in temporary defeat, I decided to try a different line of questioning.

"Okay then, how about telling me about what happened yesterday? How come you didn't come? You scared the crap out of me. I thought maybe you got eaten by a bear or your sister decided she was sick of Forks and moved you away without notice."

"You didn't come, either," he said, his tone verging on petulant. Even so, he didn't loosen his arms from around my waist. His eyes, once again averted from mine, oozed sadness.

"How would you know?" I grumbled, a sinking feeling growing in the pit of my stomach. He knew I had been avoiding him yesterday.

"Because I _was_ here."

I suddenly felt really bad about my temper from the day before. The shame was almost suffocating. I had no right to be hanging all over him now, questioning him about where he'd been, when I'd purposely chosen not to show up yesterday, just to hurt him.

"Edward…I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I was upset that you didn't keep me in the loop. I was trying to punish you. It was stupid and mean and I'm sorry."

He squeezed my hand, his cold fingers enclosing mine, careful to avoid aggravating the tender bruising. I reveled in our newfound closeness. It was a relief not to have to worry that he'd be unreceptive to contact. Holding his hand made me want to forget the stupidity of the past two days and just be happy.

"It's okay, Bella. I was planning to show you something, but it can wait."

"Show me now," I suggested.

"You'll have to be patient. The circumstances aren't always ideal."

I narrowed my eyes on him. "Is this one of those things that can only be done on the fall equinox or something?" I asked suspiciously, remembering some of the more unusual rituals my mother had adopted, during her witchcraft phase. I knew for a fact that the fall equinox fell in late September, too.

"Or something." His mouth quirked. "I know patience isn't your strong suit, but soon. I keep promises. Especially any made to you."

It would probably be fruitless to argue with Edward, who had proven he was just as stubborn as I was, so I didn't bother attempt it. I didn't want to fight anymore. I was happy to bask in his presence for the time being.

"Okay. If you promise. I trust you."

Edward's responding grin was completely worth the leap of faith.

"Thank you. I know how hard that must be for ye of little faith."

I shrugged. "You make me want to be a better person," I teased, though, to be perfectly honest, I meant it.

He smiled at me tenderly. "You've already made me a better person."

Because no conversation with Edward would be complete without it, I blushed. It was a miracle I'd managed to go so long without my telltale flush to begin with.

Edward had been right earlier when he said I was stubborn. My stubbornness made the little spitfire buried within me rear her head defiantly, all blushing and embarrassed reactions forgotten in the quest to be right. It was kind of funny, how after a scarce few days together, Edward knew me and my reactions as well as any of my friends in Forks.

I kind of liked it.

Content that we were okay for the time being, I settled deeper into his lap. When his cold hands came into contact with the strip of skin exposed between my jeans and my jacket, I gasped.

He looked up at me in alarm, an apology written all over his face. The chastising look on mine halted the words before he could say them.

"I have a blanket," I explained as I detangled myself from him, already digging through my backpack. I'd packed a blanket in my bag, knowing that it was a chilly day for late September. The lack of sun had cooled the air considerably. Despite the chill, I wasn't prepared to skip the time with Edward.

Triumphantly dislodging the fleece from my bag, I thrust it toward Edward. He wrapped it tightly around me like a cocoon. Playfully, he pulled me down so I was resting between his legs, propped up against him. Even when he was being playful, his movements were tenderly choreographed, as if he were worried I'd snap any moment.

"Well, this is cozy," I teased. "Aren't you going to share with me? You're freezing, Edward."

"I like the cold, Bella. You know that game, where one asks 'would you rather burn to death or die of hypothermia?' I'd pick the cold, every time."

"Me too," I said dryly, "but that's no reason to test out how it actually feels to freeze to death."

"I'm fine, Bella," he assured me, touching my blanket-covered leg soothingly.

I was so comfortable, caught up in the warmth of the blanket and Edward's calming presence, before I knew it, the lack of rest over the last few days had caught up with me and I was asleep in his arms.


	9. Conflict

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary: **__Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Nine; Conflict_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_**AN:**_ _I'm much happier with this chapter than the last, so maybe I'm settling into my post-holiday groove. But Edward tends to be chattier than Bella, overthinking everything the way he does, so maybe he suits my more wordy style better. Hope you all enjoy. Thanks for the faves, the alerts and especially the reviews. Also thanks to Jana, who has infinite patience with my insecurities. She deserves a medal. I don't thank her enough, but it's because of her that y'all are even reading this._

_If you like it (or even if you don't) leave a review won't you? I try to reply to them all, and it makes me happy, and I much prefer that to being unhappy. My scowl isn't nearly as pretty as Edward's. Neither is my smile for that matter, but hey, everyone looks better when they smile, right?_

xx

The sun was shining brightly.

In ordinary circumstances that line would be the perfect introduction to the perfect fairytale. Not in my case.

The sun exposed me for what I was, a predator of the worst variety. Well, perhaps not the worst… there was a special little seat in hell reserved for sadistic fucks like James, I was sure. I knew, as far as vampires went, I was one of the most humane. I did what I could to be a decent person, even if it wasn't enough.

Two weeks ago if anyone asked me what it wasn't enough for, I would have said for the salvation of my soul. Now, I had a completely different reason I wasn't enough. One with big, innocent brown eyes.

It was funny how in the space of two measly weeks – a mere moment in the span of my existence – Bella had become my best friend and the center of my universe. She didn't even know it. How would she? She had no idea how the concepts of love and time were different for me.

I had never felt so alienated from James and Victoria in my life. They had always been like annoying siblings, insufferable and infuriating to the last threads of my sanity. We'd never been like the goofy but loving families on television sitcoms, but we were connected because we were in this life together. I couldn't imagine leaving them but living with them was like living in a pit of non-venomous snakes; you knew you'd survive the experience but after a while you got sick of being bitten.

So here I sat, straddling a branch in a tree overlooking the meadow I'd spent more time in than was healthy, even for a vampire, staring up at the midday sun.

If I were to jump to the right, I could go back to James and Victoria, the family I had known for nearly nine decades. It was the safe choice. My heart would remain intact, if slightly embittered. There was no uncertainty as to what kind of life I would be living. I'd lived it. I could continue to slog through indifferently.

Then there was the option to jump left. Taking a left would push me to lay myself on the line in a way I hadn't hadn't since I was seventeen. I would be laid bare in an innocent little meadow, exposed by sunshine of all things.

In contrast to the predictable life with James and Victoria, I would have to put myself out there, stringing the rest of my existence on fragile hopes and dreams. The survival of those hopes and dreams would rest in the hands of a brown-eyed girl, who would have to take a chance on a man she'd known all of two days. So she thought I was beautiful, but then, so did most of the female population. I didn't even have the benefit of knowing what she was thinking about me.

It was hopeless.

I wasn't sure if she was ready to know. It had only been two days since she had met me. The insignificant parts I had allowed her, anyway.

It was obvious she suspected something about me wasn't normal… I doubted that she questioned if everyone she met was a demigod or an angel. I had to admit it was a bit of an emotional ego boost that she assumed the supernatural aura I radiated was a positive thing. I wondered if thoughts of vampires had ever crossed her mind.

She might think I was inherently good now, but if she found out otherwise, would she care to stay and get to know me? I wasn't sure I was willing to risk it.

But I also really wanted her to know, to get that hurdle out of the way. I didn't want to avoid her whenever the sun came out, even as rarely as it did in Forks. In the short span of human life, any moment wasted was a tragedy. There was no point in prolonging the inevitable. I might as well get my heart broken now as opposed to falling deeper and getting it broken then.

It was all in the timing. Was two days enough time to cultivate an unbreakable bond? For me, yes. For her, I wasn't so sure. But would two weeks be enough? Two months? Two years? There was no way to know.

I would wait forever, but would it be better for her, for the possibility of _us_, if I told her the truth now? Or when I got to know her better, built up her trust in me, only to admit I had been lying by omission all along? I had always been patient, even for a vampire, but making this decision had me climbing walls.

Stupid fucking time and its complexities. There was never enough of it and simultaneously far too much. There was always enough to allow my overwrought mind to think through every last detail in fucking technicolor, yet never enough for me to come to a concrete decision as to what the fuck I should do.

It was already well past three. She'd be here any minute. It all came down to time, again.

Making a split-second decision, I jumped. My skin refracted the light unnaturally as I settled into the grass to wait.

xx

It's difficult to pretend you don't notice the passing of time when you're a vampire.

I wished I was oblivious to the fact that twenty-one minutes and eighteen seconds had passed since I had sprawled in the grass but I wasn't.

My eyes were closed but I could see the flashing of light as the sun playfully danced off the backs of my eyelids.

I wished my thoughts were as amiable as the rays of sun seemed to be. The use of thoughts, as in plural, was generous. I was only thinking one thing: _Please, Bella._

What exactly I was asking her for, I wasn't sure. I didn't want to delve any deeper into my own train of thought than absolutely necessary. My thoughts would no doubt scare me. I was no stranger to thoughts, mine or anyone else's. It was ironic how mine seemed to frighten me more than even those of the scum I made into dinner.

When I had been waiting twenty-two minutes exactly, I could take the emptiness of the meadow no longer. As a vampire, patience was supposed to be my strong suit. Decades passed me by like hours passed by in the scope of human life. They meant little relative to eternity. Waiting for an answer you knew would either make or break your existence slowed down time impossibly.

My pleading with an invisible Bella was useless.

_Please, Bella, come _failed me.

So had _please,_ _Bella, I need to see you_.

_Please, Bella, don't hate me_ remained unanswered indefinitely.

I had never been one to pray, but I found myself praying that _please, Bella, be okay_ would be answered. This was the one question I was unable to wait for the answer to any longer. Not knowing if I had done something to alienate her was painful, but not knowing if she was okay was worse.

I opened my eyes slowly, focusing on the traitorous sun. The sun that forced my hand unnecessarily, making me confront myself and my fears all for naught. I knew what I wanted now, I supposed. Too bad what I wanted didn't appear to want me back.

I wondered what I had done to scare her off, because if I allowed myself to think that she was hurt, or worse, I wouldn't be able function.

I sniffed at the air, easily catching a faint whiff of Bella. Her scent had been dampened by the elements, but it was unmistakably her. It hadn't rained in over twenty-four hours, as the annoyingly cheery sun hanging overhead reminded me. Wind and time were not enough to erase the potency of her scent. I wondered if even the rain could do it. She was engrained in the little meadow.

She had tread the path leading to it so many times, even before I'd ever been a consideration, that her essence seemed embedded into it, somehow. Feeling like pond scum, but resigned to what I needed to do, I followed it.

The sun arced across the sky, following me merrily, twinkling off my face. Was it so much to ask for the usual drear of the climate around here?

I was well aware I was being a melancholy, broody asshole, mentally bitching out the sun for, well, shining, but I felt betrayed. Forks was grey _most_ of the time.

I moved effortlessly through the underbrush, avoiding Bella's pitiful, overgrown path on the off chance that she was on her way… not that I was hopeful or anything optimistic like that.

I found the quaint little two-storey where she lived with Chief Swan, never crossing paths with her. The Chief's thoughts were blessedly absent from the building, so he likely was as well. Bella's were also, but that meant nothing.

With feline grace I slithered up to the house. On the off chance that a human capable of evading my abilities was looking my way – I could only think of one – I was outside of what I assumed to be Bella's bedroom window, based on the permeating scent, in less time than it would take to blink.

Feeling like a complete cad, I peered in the window. Even though I was half expecting it, the sight of her sitting at her desk, casually reading a book, triggered a stab of hurt. I forced myself to be comforted by the fact that she was clearly perfectly healthy and not slighted by the fact she had chosen to avoid me.

She was reading _Heart of Darkness_, staring at the pages with determined eyes. Her pupils trailed along the lines of text with the quick, sure eyes of a practiced reader. I watched, fascinated to see studious Bella at work. I wondered if it was purely an accident, that she was so involved in her book that she simply forgot. It stung a little that she could forget, but at least that was preferable to her realizing that she was fed up with my evasive, lying ass.

Watching her immersed in her daily little rituals was captivating. I knew I was no better than a stalker, stooping even lower than when I'd invaded her privacy in the meadow. At least then I could pretend it was an accident that she stumbled into the same meadow that I just so happened to be waiting on the outskirts of. There was no denying that I had followed her here, scaling the side of her home with the sole purpose of watching her in her private space.

She was still reading, but her eyes were clouded over, like she was imagining something not contained within the pages of her book. I wished I could see what passage she was reading. I had the vaguely familiar feeling that I had read the text in my own school days. I had no memory of it, just an eerie feeling of déjà vu. It didn't seem like the kind of book one would get lost in. A historical novella didn't seem like Bella's usual fantasy fodder, either. I was more curious than ever what was written on those pages that could captivate her so fully.

Seeming to mentally berate herself for her daydream, she returned to mechanically scanning the pages, before eventually succumbing to her thoughtful haze once again. This process was repeated several times. I watched intently, a dying man gulping down water.

I was quite partial to her determined face. Her forehead would pucker slightly, and she'd bite her full bottom lip. Her eyes would pretend to be hard and focused on their task, but their warmth would refuse to let them be as cold and indifferent as they liked to think they were. It was something like watching a kitten playing catch the yarn. A really cute, fluffy white kitten.

The dreamy smiles were almost as nice. I liked to imagine those were my smiles; the ones that she'd bestow upon me when she saw me waiting for her in the meadow. They weren't quite the same, though.

Even her angry face was cute. I was graced by the presence of that one when, apparently frustrated with something, she threw her book on her desk, glaring at it like it had committed an unmentionable crime. It was like that cute, fluffy white kitten was pretending it was a lion.

She stared down the book hatefully for a few moments before abruptly standing up and shoving her little feet into a pair of hiking boots.

"_Hiking boots?_" a voice in the back of my head keened gleefully, "_What could she possibly need those for?_"

There was only one thing I could think of.

I raced back to the forest's edge, reaching it in less than a hundredth of a second. I did not want to be caught hanging from her windowsill.

That wouldn't be polite at all.

My sneaking suspicion that she was coming to the meadow, albeit forty minutes late, was proven correct by the thump of her boots descending the stairs, shortly followed by the slam of the back screen door. My dead heart thumped unevenly in my throat, clogging it with happiness, anger, confusion and an array of other undecipherable emotions.

Then she appeared, like a beautiful mirage, clumsily stomping her way towards the path leading to the meadow.

I swung myself up into a tree and stealthier than any ninja known to man, followed her as she made her way to the meadow. I was careful to keep my distance. Based on conversations we'd had, I had realized she was perceptive enough to realize my proximity to her, and I didn't want to risk her knowing I was there.

I had fully prepared myself to follow her into the clearing and into the sun. Once I reached the edge of the protective foliage, I knew there was no way I was going to be able to do it.

My stomach clenched painfully as I watched her sit in the meadow from afar, her foot tapping impatiently. She hadn't wanted to see me earlier.

She'd needed a break from me and my shit.

There was no way that she was going to accept me as a sparkling, undead freak of nature. I had been foolish to think I could tell her after two measly days spent together. So foolish. Worse, I'd been willing to put her safety on the line to fulfill my own idiotic desires. Who knew what wrath the Volturi would inflict upon her if she were to learn my secret before she was ready to hear it.

I'd have to bide my time and build up her faith in me before I even considered showing her my reality again.

Sighing, resigned to another afternoon of pathetic stalking, I slumped down against the trunk of the tree I was standing in.

It was worse now that I knew she was more than just a pretty face and a pair of transcendent brown eyes.

xx

I was in no mood for James' shit when I returned to the cabin that night. Unfortunately, James was still in his pain-in-the-ass phase, though I was beginning to wonder if ninety years really constituted as a phase.

"Eddie! Long time, no see! You're like a ghost around here." His tone was conversational but there was something about it that set me on edge.

I knew from experience that ignoring him wouldn't get me anywhere. So I opted for a minimal, non-response.

"I've been busy," I muttered, stalking past him to my room. The door had barely clicked behind me before it was pried opened again, James peeping at me from the doorjamb.

"Yes?" I said tersely, treading the line between polite and annoyed. "What can I help you with?" It took some effort but I was able to force down the urge to growl at him.

"Look, I know we don't get along and shit and we sure as fuck don't talk about whatever the fuck is going on in our lives, but you've been especially punk-assed lately. What's your problem, dude?"

"Don't you ever get sick of fighting, James?" I asked wearily, not sure why I was bothering to bring it up. It could only spell trouble.

"I don't know what you're talking about, bro. Fighting who?"

"Me. Victoria. The pups. Anyone. You seem to enjoy it."

"We're vampires, dude. Fighting is what we're built for. We're the world's most dangerous and unstoppable predator. Why would I get sick of something that I excel at?"

"Because–" _it's draining. It makes your soul feel like it's dying as, little by little, each fight wears your spirit down until you can't remember how to be happy. _I didn't say any of that. He wouldn't understand. "Nevermind."

James rolled his eyes. "I can see the cogs spinning. Save yourself some fucking time and stop overthinking dumb shit." After a too long pause, he added, unnecessarily, "You need to hunt. Your eyes are almost fucking black."

"My eyes are always darker than yours," I explained patiently, though James already knew. "My diet means I eat less than you and Vic do."

"I know the kids at school say anorexia is cool, but you look like shit." He raised an eyebrow at me, as if I should be impressed by his great wit. "What the fuck have you been doing every afternoon if you haven't been off eating bad guys?"

I gave him a half-cocked smile, knowing that was his idea of looking out for me. It was nice to know he could at least expend that minimal effort.

"It's been quiet lately."

"And that's why eating with a conscience sucks ass. If you've ever eaten a chick on a diet, you'd know they taste like shit, because they feel like shit."

"You know I don't go near women–"

"Have you ever considered that maybe that's your problem?" He interrupted. "Maybe your tortured little soul would give it a fucking rest if you actually gave it what your body wants."

"Thanks for the advice, James," I deadpanned. "As much as it rivals Dr. Phil's in helpfulness, I think I can figure my own shit out."

He shrugged, as if to say "suit yourself, you annoying pansy ass motherfucker" and headed cheerily out the door. I could hear Victoria beckoning him from two rooms over.

I sighed again, feeling more conflicted than ever. James had been almost bearable today. If this was going to be a new status quo, I could almost imagine not being miserable for the rest of my existence. Almost.

xx

Doubt is a strange thing.

For almost forty-eight hours I'd been unable to settle on what I was going to say or do when I next saw Bella. I would think I had settled on a decision, and then I'd turn around and something would scream at me that I was making the wrong choice.

Watching her approach me in our meadow, the two of us wearing matching grins, I still wasn't sure what the right thing to do was.

The moment she leaped into my lap, though, I just knew. It was like a light switch had gone off in my brain. It didn't matter what I said or did, because everything would be okay. It just would. It might have seemed simple and optimistic, but I suppose she brought out something positive in me.

It wasn't as difficult being close to her as I had expected. I had been steeling myself for this moment for weeks, working up the courage to touch her. I'd slipped, carelessly touching her arm the night the wolves had came. I had promised myself I wouldn't, under any circumstances, touch her again until she knew.

She had taken that decision out of my hands by making the first move. Without the warning of her thoughts I'd had no time to react and no choice but to acquiesce to her will. My body had stiffened involuntarily on first contact, prepared to fight against my instincts, but it was only too easy to forget the danger I presented to her and just revel in the closeness. Her hair, soft and fragrant, teased my chin… so close to my mouth, yet hunger was the furthest thing from my mind. All I had to think about was the affection inherent in the act of hugging and my long dead heart swelled. She was safe with me. She was _happy_ with me.

Holding her just felt so perfect, so _right_, that I knew everything would work out for the best. I cradled her gently as we talked, careful not to use excessive force. I was hypersensitive to her every expression. The barest hint of discomfort was unacceptable.

The feel of her delicate skin and rhythmic heart as we traded dialogue was intoxicating. Even the pure, innocent silence of her thoughts was comforting. It was still frustrating beyond belief to not know what was going on in her mind, but it was preferable to the empty hum of energy exerted by James and Victoria's minds as they intentionally blocked me.

I spoke without really hearing my own words. All my attention was focused on the girl in my arms and her sweet voice.

Her falling asleep in my arms easily ranked as the best moment of my existence. It wasn't even a contest. The elation of my number two moment, the first time I had saved a woman from the clutches of a would-be murderer, three hours after awaking as a vampire, paled in comparison.

I wondered idly why she was so tired that she would fall asleep in the middle of the day. Was she not getting enough sleep? I made a mental note to remind her she needed eight hours a night.

Time passed quickly as she slept comfortably against my chest. I sat as still as a stone carving for the entire four hours that she slept, not wanting to jostle her. She clearly needed rest, and I enjoyed being with her. I would have given anything I owned to be able to see her dreams, but I let myself be content with her mere presence.

Eventually the sun set brilliantly behind the clouds, an array of red and purple shooting across the sky. I hardly noticed. I'd seen thousands of sunsets; I'd only ever seen Bella sleep once. The sight rivaled the beauty of the setting sun, anyway. It wasn't something I'd tire of any time soon. Watching her little nose twitch, her fist unconsciously twist a handful of my shirt, her cute snores… I could do it forever, and I would, if I had my say.

When the sun was on the cusp of extinguishing completely, I knew I could prolong waking her no longer.

I shook her arm gently, whispering into her hair. "Bella?"

She nuzzled against my chest, stubbornly refusing to wake. I received a few nonsensical murmurs. My nonexistent pulse skipped a beat when, clear as day, she said my name.

I nodded, a smile stretching across my face. "Yes. I'm Edward."

"Edward?" she mumbled again, slightly more coherent than before. She blinked a few times before focusing on me. Almost immediately she evaporated into a huge yawn. I couldn't help but chuckle.

"You fell asleep," I explained needlessly, still holding her in my lap, wrapped in the blanket. She was no longer resting against me, but facing me instead. I supported most of her weight, as she drooped sleepily.

"I see that," she managed through another yawn. "How long was I out? Oh god, Edward, it's almost dark! Why didn't you wake me up? I wasted all of our time together. And tomorrow's Saturday," she said sadly.

"Saturday?" I asked stupidly. I hadn't given a thought to the day of the week and wasn't sure why Saturday was important to her. I flashed through my memories of time with her. She definitely hadn't said anything to me about Saturday.

"We won't see each other," she explained, her downcast eyes tilted away from mine. I didn't like that. I tilted her chin back up.

"Do you have something planned?" I asked anxiously. I didn't like the thought of not seeing her again. My experience yesterday was still far too fresh in my mind.

"No… but–"

"But nothing," I interrupted her worrying. "If you're free, so am I. I'll see you tomorrow. At ten?" I wondered hopefully. If she didn't have school all day, there was no harm in trying…

Her responding smile was brilliant. "Ten," she repeated, clutching her blanket tighter around her to ward off the cooling temperature.

"Edward?"

He voice was hesitant, so I gave her my most charming smile, encouraging her. When she didn't, I asked, "Yes?"

She blushed furiously. "I forgot what I was going to say."

I shrugged, looking warily at the darkening forest around us.

Bella should be frightened, being here with me at night. She should be repelled, knowing innately that I wasn't safe. During the light hours I could pass myself off using my vampiric charms. In the darkness they didn't see a beautiful stranger, they only sensed an intimidating predator. Bella didn't even bat an eyelash, clinging to me like I was her lifeline. I wondered if she had any survival instincts at all.

"Do you mind if I walk you home? It's dark now. You've never left after sunset. I don't want to worry that you've got lost or hurt yourself in the dark and I know I will unless I see you home safely."

I tried to sound like I wasn't begging and piled on my injured puppy dog face for good measure. "Please?"

She giggled, her cheeks slightly pink. I wanted to reach out and touch one to see if it felt as warm as it looked. "Edward, I'd love it if you'd walk me home."

I hesitated. Should I lead the way? I didn't want her to think I didn't need directions to her house. That wouldn't help with not giving the impression I was a crazed stalker. But I also didn't want her to feel like she had to be the one to face the unknown dangers lurking in the dark. I settled on asking her to lead the way under the guise of being gentlemanly. I'd be able to see and avoid any problems ahead. My eyesight in the dark was equal to or better than during daylight hours.

Bella smiled, hesitantly reaching out for my hand, boldly leading me down the darkening path without fear. She didn't even flinch at my icy skin.

If I thought my stellar night vision would prevent any issues, I was wrong.

We'd been walking less than a minute and already Bella had tripped over a tree root, a fallen branch, and some slippery, waterlogged leaves. If it weren't for my steadying hand, she probably wouldn't have been able to recover from the last almost-tumble.

I understood it was dark and the path was overgrown, but this was getting ridiculous.

"Bella?" I asked, breaking the companionable silence we'd formed. "I give amazing piggybacks… or so I've been told, in case you happened to be interested?"

She looked at me scornfully. "Thanks, but I can walk just fine, Edwaaarrrrd!" My name was elongated as she stumbled forward for the fourth time. "Erm, maybe a piggyback would be cool." She flushed and I stifled the urge to laugh.

I lowered myself so she could climb on my back. I tried not to think about her soft, warm little body wrapped around me as her legs hooked around my waist, instead concentrating on getting her home safely.

She laid her cheek on my back, the warmth immediately burning through my shirt. "Sorry for being ungrateful. I'm not used to people wanting to take care of me. I don't want you to think I'm weak and can't do anything by myself."

"I'd never think that, Bella. I know you're strong. I know you can do things for yourself. I want to be there for you. Never take my offering help as a sign of your weakness. It's mine."

I could feel her face contort into a frown against my back. "How is it yours?"

"I can't seem to stay away from you. I shouldn't want to be around you all the time like I do. I'm not good for you."

Her grasp on me tightened. "You're too hard on yourself, Edward. Being with you… it feels right, like we were meant to be… friends. Don't you believe some things were fated to be? I mean, I know I said that I think we choose our own destiny, but some things just can't be completely accidental, like me meeting you in the meadow. What were the chances? If there are a hundred trillion different universes out there, each one with a different me based on choices I've made… in how many of them would I get to meet you? What are the chances of me making all the right choices to find myself in that meadow just as you made all the right choices to be there too? It's one in an infinite amount. How lucky I am to be the one who gets to live in this universe, out of a hundred trillion or more?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "You think too hard, little one. We could have met any number of ways. Forks is a small town. On another note, I don't know if I'd classify my presence in your life as lucky for you."

"But we didn't," she countered stubbornly. "And who's to say we'd have the same kind of relationship if we'd met any other way? Who's even to say that you'd live in Forks in any other universe?"

I shrugged, unable to come up with a counter-argument. For once in my existence, I had nothing to say. All because of a fragile human girl. "You're right," I said simply.

"And it _was_ luck," she said quietly. If it weren't for my improved hearing, I doubt I would have heard.

"Hey," she exclaimed, as the forest thinned and her house came into view. "How the heck are we here already? It took us less than two minutes!"

I shrugged, trying not to look guilty. I'd been so focused on her – her words and her body wrapped around mine – that I hadn't even given a thought to controlling my speed. I hadn't run by any means, but I'd certainly moved faster than any normal human was capable of on such rough terrain. I was glad that the dark had masked my lack of forethought. There wasn't even the light of the moon under the cover of the forest, thankfully. Seeing trees whiz by her head probably wouldn't be good for not scaring her off.

"I'm fast."

She eyed me suspiciously. "Really fast. You were carrying me on your back, yet you cut my usual time down my three quarters."

I shifted, uncomfortable under her gaze. I was used to standing completely still, often for hours on end, but she made me made me restless. The pools of brown had some magical power over me. "I used to run track. I still have my medals. I should show you sometime."

She grinned. "I'd love to see them."

I gently lowered her to the ground. "Besides," I couldn't help but add teasingly, "you're not the most adept at walking."

She glared at me for a moment, aiming to elbow me, but I ducked out the way before she could, not wanting her to have another bruise because of me.

I gestured to the back door reluctantly. "You should go. Chief Swan is probably worried."

She nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

I returned the nod, turning to leave, but she called out before I could get far. "Wait! Do you maybe want to come in for some hot chocolate or something? Your hands…"

I smiled sadly. "I'm not sure that's a good idea. The Chief would ask questions."

I knew this was true. I could hear his muddled thoughts radiating from the house. They weren't as silent as Bella's, but it was clear bits and pieces were missing. He sounded like an improperly tuned radio. I could hear parts of the "concerned father" speech he was rehearsing for when she returned. He was trying not to think about the possibly of her not returning.

She frowned stubbornly. "So? He's my father, not my keeper. He knows I have friends."

"Bella…"

"Okay, fine," she said shortly. Her tone softening marginally, she added, "See you tomorrow at ten."

I watched her go into the house silently, my feet cemented to the grass. I couldn't leave. I didn't want to leave. Sighing at my own foolishness, I waited until the heated discussion, Bella defending her absence to a frazzled Charlie, went silent. His thoughts calmed to a relieved but weary hum. Her footsteps thudded quietly as she retreated to her room. Once I heard her bedroom door close behind her, I silently made my way up the tree outside her bedroom window. Were I human, the climb would have been difficult, but not impossible.

Tentatively, not sure if she was still upset with me, I rapped on the window with a finger. It sounded like a pebble hitting the glass.

The drapes were flung open, an expression that looked a cross between furious and weary on her face. It immediately evaporated into a smile when she saw me.

She flung open the window, poking her head out. "Edward!"

"I figured this way, what your father doesn't know won't hurt him," I explained simply.

She nodded. "Yeah… I wasn't looking forward to telling Charlie. I was prepared to, though, if it meant you'd stay."

I smiled. "I know. I wanted to save you the trouble. I should have warned you what I was planning."

She shrugged, but I could tell she was pleased. She gestured for me to enter, looking around her room sheepishly as if she were embarrassed of its contents.

"Wait a second…" she drawled, an unreadable expression making its way onto her face. "How did you know this room was mine?"

Oh shit. I hadn't even considered how I would explain that. Telling her it smelled like her would be creepy, even I knew that.

I shrugged sheepishly, stepping into the room. It smelled even more overwhelmingly of her on the inside. I knew for certain I was certifiably crazy when I had to fight the urge to lick one of the walls on the off chance it tasted like her, too.

"Something tells me that Charlie doesn't have purple curtains."


	10. Mortify

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**_ _Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Ten; Mortify_

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN**__: The usual thanks to everyone, especially my readers :) After the posting of the last chapter, I reached 100 alerts, which is pretty awesome. Apparently there are at least a hundred of you who care enough to know what's going on with this story. Hope, as always, that it doesn't disappoint :) I apologize ahead of time that this chapter is mostly filler fluff, but Edward and Bella won't shut up when they're together._

_Also, if you enjoy fluff and don't mind post-BD stories, I recently posted a summer-themed smutshot, to test the waters as far as lemon writing goes. I'm trying to get some practice in before it becomes something necessary in this fic ;) If you're so inclined, I'd love opinions on how I can improve, since it's out of my usual comfort zone ;)_

xx

When I had seen Edward standing outside my window, my heart began pounding in my throat so loudly I thought I might have accidentally swallowed a jackhammer. I wondered absently if he could hear it through the glass pane. It felt deafening.

I undid the latch, feeling slightly guilty. When I had heard the sound of pebbles on my window, my initial thought was that Jacob had returned for one of his nighttime let's-check-up-on-Bella sessions. Yet seeing Edward out there flipped my bad mood a hundred and eighty degrees. Erasing the ping of annoyance was a shot of undiluted happiness, because Edward wasn't Jacob, and because, well, he was Edward. Any girl with any sense would be thrilled to have Edward sneak into her bedroom.

Even so, I reminded myself that I should try to reopen the lines of communication with Jacob. He might have been a jerk, but he was still my friend and he didn't deserve the brush off or the silent treatment.

The thought was erased from my mind just as quickly as it had entered it once Edward stepped into my room. Despite the fact he was hanging onto a tree in the pitch dark and his movements should have been clumsy and awkward, he moved with a fluidly and grace of which I'd previously thought humans incapable. His footsteps barely registered on the hardwood as he swung himself onto solid ground.

I was almost embarrassed to show him my little room, still decorated like it had been when I was a kid. There was still the odd finger painting hung on the wall. For some reason, Charlie had hung all the childish artwork I'd sent to him for father's days and Christmases on the walls of this room. I hadn't spent much of the past year I'd been living here redecorating. It was only me who saw it anyway. Other than my dad, Edward was the only person who had stepped foot in this room since I had moved in with Charlie on a permanent basis.

I could vaguely hear myself questioning Edward about why he was here, but the facts were irrelevant. I didn't care because he _was_ here.

The stupor Edward always left me in sat comfortably on my shoulders until one burning question made its way through the foggy haze my brain had been reduced to. _How the hell did he know where my bedroom window was?_

I wondered if I was stupid for being happy at the possibility that he had followed me home in the past. I wanted him to want to know about me, just like I wanted to know everything about him.

His perfectly reasonable answer – that he noticed the colour of my curtains – quickly rendered that theory useless, and I felt a little stupid for being depressed that he wasn't following me. I hated the thought of being that girl. The clingy one who needed her boyfriend – I blushed at the very thought of Edward possibly being like a boyfriend – to follow her every move, circling like a planet to her sun.

He stood awkwardly just inside my window. I closed it, remembering his frozen hands in the meadow.

"So… this is my room," I said awkwardly, unsure why I was so nervous. I'd just spent four hours asleep on his lap. That certainly indicated a level of familiarity and comfort.

"It's cozy," he said carefully, "like you."

Gee, just what every girl wanted to hear. Was that guy code for frumpy and boring?

"Um… thanks. I think," I said shortly.

He looked a little alarmed at my tone and was quick to amend his statement.

"It's a good thing," he assured. "It's intimate, like a little safe haven away from the real world." I liked that description better. Besides, there was no denying the thrill I felt hearing Edward say the word intimate. Such an innocent thing, yet the way he made it sound…

"I feel that way, too, sometimes." I grinned shyly, taking a seat on my bed and gesturing for him to do the same. He sat down next to me, mere inches separating our thighs from touching. I shifted back a little to cross my legs but Edward remained sitting stiffly on the edge, his hands folded in his lap. "You're the first person, besides my dad, who has been in here since I moved here," I blurted out, unsure why I was telling him at all.

For some reason, he grinned wide, his pretty eyes sparkling. He was happy, so I was too.

"No boyfriend?" he asked innocently. The question could have been nosy, but from Edward, it wasn't.

"No," I said simply, trying to keep my tone even. This was the one topic we'd never broached. School, friends and family had all been fair game. This was new. A nervous flutter tickled at my belly.

He smiled again at my answer, his lip quirking up adorably. "Good." He said it so quietly that I couldn't be sure I'd heard right. I felt my lips curl to match his. I liked that he didn't want me to be with someone else. Maybe that meant he wanted me for himself. I hoped.

Feeling uncharacteristically bold, I looked him straight in the eye. "What about you? Do you have a girlfriend?" I was pretty sure I knew the answer but confirmation couldn't hurt.

He shook his head adamantly. "No. We move too often. I–" he stopped abruptly, averting his eyes.

"You…?" I prompted, touching his sleeve gently, trying to regain eye-contact.

"I've never really found someone I wanted to be with like that. Until recently."

"Yeah?" I asked hopefully. I wasn't known for being the most self-assured girl in the world and I didn't like to assume but the hints were unmistakably there.

"Yes."

I sensed there was more he had to say. "But?"

"But I don't know if she'll want me, once she gets to know me better. She might not like who I am, and I don't want her to hate me."

He sounded more small and innocent than I'd ever heard him, but even his blatant insecurity couldn't mask the beauty of his velvet voice.

The fluttering in my stomach was working overtime at his words. How could he think he was anything less than perfect? And not just physically, but emotionally and mentally, too. He was a real life romantic hero. The boy that all the girls wanted in high school. Except instead of being a loser jock, he was sweet and intelligent and didn't realize quite how perfect he was so he was never immodest about it.

"Edward, any girl who gets to know you couldn't possibly hate you. You're one of the purest, nicest guys I know. Trust me."

"You're saying that blindly, Bella," he sighed warily, wringing his hands together. "If you only knew…"

The flutter turned to a hopeful throb. He was implying I was missing crucial information about him, just like his mystery girl… what were the chances she was actually me?

"Why don't you tell me, then?" I suggested. Maybe if we talked about it, we could put it behind us and move on.

"It's not so easy. Knowing could put you in more danger than not knowing. I want you to be safe."

I was becoming frustrated by his evasiveness. "You've said that like twenty times, Edward. I'm safe, trust me. My dad is the police chief. How much danger could I be in?"

"There are things that go beyond the scope of law enforcement, Bella. Things that no one, not even your police chief father can save you from."

My mind briefly flashed to Jacob and the werewolves. But Edward was pale and lean and definitely not hot to the touch. There was no way that he was a shape-shifting canine like the boys from the reservation.

My brow scrunched. "What are you saying, Edward?"

"I'm saying that being around me is dangerous for you. I don't want you to be inadvertently hurt, because of your mere association with me."

I frowned, trying to read between the lines. "Has your sister done something to you?" I asked carefully, trying not to think about the multitude of ways she could have abused the beautiful boy sitting on my bed. "Has she… hurt you? Or your brother-in-law? Has he done something?"

He sighed, shaking his head. "No. It's nothing like that. It's me, Bella. It's who I am. What I am. It's me."

I shook my head slightly, as if it might help stop the spinning. I'd never felt so confused in my life. We'd been bantering playfully less than twenty minutes ago, during the walk through the darkened forest. Now Edward was insinuating that he was a danger to me and refusing to say why.

"I don't understand. Please, just tell me?" I asked, fighting back tears of hurt and frustration. The sting in my chest hurt significantly worse than the one in my eyes. "You said it's who you are… what you are. Everything I know about you has only ever shown me that you are a perfect gentleman. You'd never purposely hurt me. So I don't understand why you're saying this… is it something I did? Are you trying to drive me away, so you don't have to be my friend? If that's it, I'm sorry for whatever I did. Really."

In less time than it took to blink, his arms were wrapped around me, crushing me to his hard chest. It was so comforting, I couldn't bring myself to care. He shushed me, humming soothing words into my hair.

"No." His tone was unyielding. "It's not you. Never you, Bella. I meant what I said. It's my problem. I want to tell you, I do. But I'm scared. I know that's probably not the right thing for me to say right now, but it's the truth."

I wiped a stray tear on his shirt, trying not to be too obvious about it. Somehow, I didn't think he'd care even if I was sobbing openly.

"Okay," I mumbled, ignoring the lump in my throat. "As long as we're friends."

That sentiment was woefully inadequate, but based on recent events, I wasn't going to allow myself to hope for anything more, despite the multitude of hints he'd been dropping. He wasn't the only one who was scared.

Sometimes I wondered if he could read my mind because his next words helped to curb those worries.

"Bella. Trust me, you're more than just a friend to me. I know we haven't known one another long but you're my best friend. I understand that I've given you no reason to trust me but I mean that from the bottom of my heart."

I smiled against his shirt, huffing his scent shamelessly. He smelled so good, sweet but musky. There were no words to describe it. It was just Edward and it was ridiculously soothing. I felt like I'd been sniffing glue, except glue that smelled much nicer than regular glue.

Edward stroked my back gently, smiling against the top my head. The action made me smile, too. I liked happy Edward.

"So I guess we're just a couple of drama queens, huh?" I teased lightly, wiping the remnants of moisture from my face with the back of one of my hands, the other refusing to let go of him.

He pushed me away from him so he could look into my face. His eyes hardened a bit when they met my reddened ones. "I suppose so. I didn't mean to worry you. Or make you cry. I'm not good with this."

"Me either," I admitted, placing my hand firmly in his. His large fingers curled around my small ones. I couldn't help but notice they were still freezing. "But that's okay. We can learn together. Right?"

"Of course," he grinned. "No more tears tonight?"

I nodded eagerly. "Just smiles." I raised our joined hands up between us. "But for now I'm going to go get us some tea. Your hands are freezing, and what kind of hostess would I be if I let you sit here shivering on my watch?"

His eyes crinkled and he shook his head. "I'm fine, Bella. I've got… poor circulation. I'm always cold. Besides, I'm on a special diet."

I frowned stubbornly. He'd never mentioned a diet before. Why wouldn't this stubborn boy just let me make him some tea? He couldn't be worried about my cookery skills. How many ways were there to put a teabag in boiling water?

"You're more than just cold, Edward," I countered. "You're freezing. And what kind of diet bans tea?"

He frowned as well, his face scrunching adorably. "Well, I guess you could say it's a mostly liquid diet."

"Tea is liquid," I said persuasively. "We even have decaf, if it's the caffeine you're worried about. Besides, tea is good for you. It's loaded with antioxidants and other things that are beneficial to your health."

He nodded after a moment of contemplation. "Okay. How did you become such an expert on tea? … and what will your dad say if he sees you bringing two cups?"

"He won't. He's watching the Mariners game now. There's nothing, major natural disasters aside, that could tear him from his armchair. Just drink some tea, Edward. It'll make me feel better," I pleaded.

He nodded, a smile playing on his lips. "So stubborn. Always so stubborn."

"Whatever," I countered, already moving towards the door. "You're gonna drink the tea aren't you? As long as you are, I don't care."

I just caught his conceding nod as I slipped out the door, careful to close it behind me on the off chance Charlie was roaming around on a commercial break or something. I hurried to the kitchen, clicking on the kettle and preparing our mugs along with a small plate of cheese and crackers, just in case Edward was hungry.

Five minutes later I was back in my room balancing everything on a small tray. Thankfully, my only interaction with Charlie was a shout from the living room, asking me if I could leave him a mug on the counter.

Edward looked up at me from his place on the bed. He'd settled himself onto it, cross-legged, just like I had been, a photo album nestled in his lap. It warmed me to see him looking so comfortable in my space after our awkward emotional exchange.

He grinned at me sheepishly. "I hope you don't mind but I saw this album sitting on your bookshelf and I was curious."

I shrugged, pretending not to notice my own red cheeks. It figured in the short space of time I left him to his own devices that he'd zero in on the single most embarrassing item in my room. I set the tray down on my night table, and crawled onto the bed next to him.

"It's fine," I reassured, hesitantly peeking at whatever he was looking at in the album. He was still in the first few pages.

He was grinning down at a picture of me on my first Halloween. Charlie and Renee were flanking me with the goofy grins of proud new parents on their faces as I sat in a baby carrier, dressed in a miniscule clown costume, complete with hat and face paint. Only my mother would slather the face of a not even two-month-old in makeup.

He poked at the picture, stroking the cheek of the baby version of me in the photograph. "You were so cute." He looked up at me through his lashes, shyly.

I stifled a snort. "That's not cute. That's borderline child abuse. My parents only got away with it because I wasn't old enough to complain yet."

He shook his head. "You look quite thrilled to me. You're laughing."

"No, see, I'm actually crying at the torture being inflicted upon me. You know where you laugh so hard you cry? Well, this was the exact opposite of that," I explained, jabbing at the traitorous picture.

He shrugged, flipping to the next page, which featured a photo of me on one of the few family vacations taken with both Renee and Charlie. "Look at you in your little pink swimsuit and giraffe intertube! With pig tails!"

I couldn't match Edward's enthusiasm. "All my mom. Renee had the most awful taste in children's clothing. She insisted frills and the colour pink suited me. They didn't. Obviously."

Undeterred by my negativity, Edward flipped to the next page: Charlie holding two-year-old me up so I could plant the shiny silver star, which was nearly as big as I was, atop a Christmas tree.

"You were so small! Look at you holding that star. Christmas must have been so much fun in your home. You all look so happy…" His tone was wistful.

I shrugged. "It was, when I was little. Renee always went overboard with the decorations, even after she and Charlie split. It was always like a Party Planet threw up all over the house. Of course, the decorations would stay up until April, when I took them down."

This process continued for ten minutes. Edward flipped through the album and a veritable parade of pictures featuring me over the years during various holidays and family vacations, wearing all sorts of hideous getups that Renee liked to call "fashionable." Edward always make some sweet comment about how adorable I was and I would refute it in embarrassment but remain secretly pleased with the never-ending slew of compliments.

It wasn't until we were more than halfway through the album that I actually began to recognize myself and my typical jeans and T-shirt attire. Renee had practically cried in disappointment when, at nine years old, I declared I wanted to pick my own clothes.

We had been so engrossed, it wasn't until the album was closed, the brown suede of the back cover staring up at us, that I remembered the tea.

"Crap!" I cried, staring gloomily at the now lukewarm mugs. "I can go heat them up, if you'd like," I suggested.

Edward shrugged, "It's fine, Bella. Looking through your photo album with you was worth missing out on tea. You're much too hard on yourself, by the way. How can you not realize how precious you were… and still are?"

I flushed. There was no good way to answer that. "Um, well… I guess I'll just go heat these up. Feel free to take some crackers while you wait, but please, god, whatever you do, don't find any more embarrassing photo albums?"

Edward smirked smugly.

When I returned, our mugs returned to their former steaming glory, Edward was still cross-legged on the bed. His hands were behind his back, a beautiful (but entirely too cunning for my tastes) smile stretched across his features.

"Guess what I found?" he teased, his eyes widening playfully like a little boy's, one who was hiding a gigantic secret.

I swear my stomach fell into the soles of my feet as I contemplated what mortifying thing he could have uncovered this time.

"Well," he teased, "I was looking under your bed, and I found–"

"You found my journal!" I screeched, before remembering Charlie was home and lowering my voice. If he read any of the things written in there about him… "You better not have read it! You're dead!"

I lunged across my bed at him, belly flopping onto the mattress, but Edward was too quick. He was already safely on the opposite side.

I couldn't believe he'd do that. So much for him being sweet, I fumed.

"Bella!... Bella!" Edward called, his tone suggesting he'd called my name several times before and I wasn't responding, due to hearing impairment via mortification induced anger.

"Relax, I was just teasing. I didn't actually look under your bed. Though, now I might…" He pulled his hands from behind his back, revealing that he was actually holding my hardcover collection of fairy tales.

I sighed in relief, immediately ducking my head below my bed to check that my journal was safely stowed away.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Edward said, holding his hands up innocently, trying to keep a straight-face and failing miserably. "You're just too easy to rile up. I swear I had no idea that you kept your journal under your bed. I didn't even look under it. I just figured something had to be under there. Girls always keep interesting things under their beds in the movies."

I jabbed at his shoulder and missed, which was probably for the best. I still had bruises from my fist's last run-in with Edward's chest. He hugged me gently, his face now serious. "I'm sorry."

I huffed but it was more for the principle of the thing than real anger. I couldn't stay mad at him, not when he was being so playful and genuinely contrite. I nodded my head to the mug I'd brought him. "Drink your tea, you jerk."

"Yes, ma'am," he agreed, immediately cupping the ceramic mug in his hands, and taking a small sip, as I reached for the cracker plate. It looked like they'd all been pushed to one side of the plate.

"Cheese and crackers?" I offered.

He smiled uncomfortably. "No, I'm good. I had some while you were reheating the tea."

He reached a hand out towards me, even though we were sitting on opposite sides of my bed. I connected mine with his, glad to feel that his hand was a little less freezing than before.

"You're not mad at me, are you?" He asked, looking at me like a kicked puppy. "I swear I didn't know. It was a stupid joke. I'm sorry."

"Edward?" I asked, looking him straight in the eye, "Shut up. I'm over it. As long as you didn't actually read my journal."

A flash of something akin to guilt swept his features but was quickly replaced with a winning smile. "Let me read you a story to make it up to you." He tapped the collection of fairytales.

"Okay," I agreed, "That sounds fair. You have a nice voice. Read me a bedtime story." I pretended to settle myself into my bed, Edward nestling himself beside me on the small twin.

"Which one do you want to hear?"

"Hmm. I don't know. You pick." Truthfully, I just wanted to hear him speak. I loved the melodic sound of his voice. I wondered if he sang. He'd mentioned the piano before, so he was musically inclined, at the very least.

"_Snow White_." He said it so quickly and decisively that I had to wonder his motivations for picking it.

"Why _Snow White_?"

He shrugged. "You remind me of her, except instead of ebony hair, yours is mahogany. You could be a fairytale character. Don't you ever wish you were?"

"When I was little, all the time. We all have to grow up sometime, though. Jessica Stanley might still wish she was a princess, but I have loftier dreams than that, these days. I'm a realist. I want to go to college. Be happy. Those are my life dreams."

"You shouldn't be so quick to write off things that don't seem logical to you." His voice was even, but it seemed like there was an underlying message there. Only I had no idea what it was.

"Are you saying that my prince might still come for me one day?" I teased, raising an eyebrow at him.

His lips curled in amusement. "Perhaps."

"But you don't look like a frog to me," I joked, immediately recognizing my mistake.

To my relief, Edward only laughed, glossing over the words spewing out of my overactive mouth.

"I wish. A frog would be a vast improvement. If there's such a thing as reincarnation, I'll consider myself lucky to be a frog in my next life."

"Shh. You told me earlier I should stop complaining about myself, when we were looking at my album. Now it's your turn. Aren't you supposed to be reading to me, anyway?"

He nodded, propping open the book on his stomach. I settled against the side of his shoulder. I closed my eyes and let his voice wash over me.

"_Once upon a time in midwinter, when the snowflakes were falling like feathers from heaven, a queen sat sewing at her window…"_

Next thing I knew, it was morning and I was alone in my bed.

xx

It was dangerously close to ten o'clock by the time I was alert enough to roll over and check my clock.

I dressed speedily, yanking the first items of clothing I came across off their hangers without even looking at them. I scarfed down two pieces of buttered toast, barely acknowledging my father, who was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee, as I whirled around him preparing my simple meal. I called out that I'd see him before dinner and that I was going to hang out with a friend. I left before he had a chance to grill me on the details.

I went out the front door so he wouldn't wonder why I was always going to the meadow. I hoped he'd think my friend was picking me up. When I was sure he wasn't looking, I circled around to the backyard.

I made pretty good time considering that I'd only had ten minutes to get ready and walk to the meadow. I ended up being only a few minutes late. There was no way I was going to stand Edward up any longer, after the mess from a few days ago.

He was already sitting in the centre of the meadow, surrounded by long grass, which was beginning to yellow as the nights got cooler. The flowers were beginning to disappear, too. As long as Edward was there, I didn't care what it looked like.

He smirked when he saw me approaching, no doubt taking in my unbrushed hair and sleep-flushed face. I probably still had marks on my face from the wrinkles in my pillowcase. At least I'd had the intelligence to brush my teeth. Just in case…

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Perhaps I got it wrong yesterday. Sleeping Beauty might be more fitting than Snow White?" He had the nerve to laugh.

I plopped down next to him. "Well. I definitely had it wrong. You're not a frog prince. You're a regular old toad," I countered, causing him to laugh harder. I couldn't help but do the same.

"Don't be so difficult, Bella. It was a compliment. I'm saying you're beautiful. Sleeping _beauty_, remember?"

"Sure. Apparently, we need to get you some glasses." I pointed to my hair. "This is not what people typically call beautiful." I pointed at his artfully disarrayed locks. "That is what people call beautiful."

"Well, I have to say, I don't see all that much of a difference between the two… At least once you take the time to brush your hair it'll lay flat."

I laughed. "Why would you want your hair to lay flat, Edward? You'd look ridiculous. Your hair suits you. Guys spend millions on hair gel trying to make their hair look like yours."

"Fortunate, since it's stuck like this for eternity," he deadpanned, looking regretful immediately after. Clearing his throat he added, "Do you have a brush in your bag? I'll brush your hair for you, since you don't have a mirror…"

I really hoped I did. I wanted Edward to brush my hair. Mercifully, after pulling out all sorts of odds and ends that I didn't know I'd been carrying with me, I managed to locate a comb, with a hair tie twined around it at the bottom of my bag.

Edward took it from me and began to comb out the knots in my hair, his long fingers pulling the instrument through the tangles with gentle efficiency. I barely felt the pull. It reminded me of my mom combing my hair when I was little, except it was so much better. With a brief pang of jealousy, I wondered how Edward knew how to comb a girl's hair. I quickly pushed it aside. He was combing _my_ hair, not anyone else's.

When he was done, he handed me the comb, pulling the hair tie from it. He raked his fingers into my hair to pull it up into a high ponytail. I almost groaned at the feel of his fingers brushing against my scalp. Once again, they were cold. I was kind of getting used to it. It was just another part of who Edward was.

When my hair was secured in the elastic, Edward turned me to face him and nodded approvingly.

"Perfect."

My already stuttering heartbeat sped up a little more. Taking the compliment in stride, I lay back in the grass. Edward followed my lead.

"What are we going to do today?" I asked, looking up at the overcast skies. The clouds were dark and bulging. It looked like it was on the verge of rain. I'd sit out in the rain with Edward if he asked me to, but I was kind of hoping he wouldn't.

"We have all day, right?" he asked, intertwining the fingers of his right hand with my left.

I nodded. "I promised Charlie that I'd be home for dinner. I feel bad that I rarely make dinner anymore."

"Well, as much as I love this meadow… what would you say to going to Port Angeles for the day?"

I nodded eager to do something different with him. "What do you want to do?"

He shrugged. "Anything you want to do will be fine with me. We could see a film? I'd suggest shopping, but your tales of shopping with Jessica and Lauren sounded unpleasant."

I wouldn't have minded shopping with him, but I didn't want to be one of those girls who dragged a guy shopping with her.

"Going to the movies sounds like fun." I allowed him to help me up from the grass, enjoying the sweetness of the gesture. Not letting go of his hand, I began to head for my home, figuring we'd probably take my truck. Edward hadn't ever mentioned having a car.

He didn't budge. It was like towing a stone. "Bella? Where are you going? Port Angeles is this way." He pointed into the deep expanse of the forest.

I rolled my eyes. "I know that. But we're not going to walk there are we? And you can't seriously expect us to thrash our way through the underbrush?"

He smirked. "How do you think I get here everyday?"

I gaped like a fish. "Seriously? You never have so much as a speck of dirt on you. How is that humanly possible?"

He shrugged. "It's possible. Perhaps it's not possible for _you_. But some of us were born without a clumsy gene. Care for another piggyback?" His eyes held a familiar smug spark, like he knew I was going to accept. I almost wanted to say no, just so he wouldn't have the satisfaction, but I kind of wanted to hug his back again and have the opportunity to huff his sweet musky smell without having him call me out on it.

"Okay, but you better not complain that I'm heavy or anything," I said, trying to save what minimal face I had left. I wasn't really going to protest if it afforded me the opportunity to be near him.

Instead of grumbling about it, as some would have, Edward smiled at me like he'd just won a prize because I was letting him carry me. He ducked down, so I could scramble onto his back, fitting my contours against his like a human jigsaw.

"We won't be walking the whole way," Edward explained, already expertly weaving through the trees. I didn't hit a branch once. "Just to my car. It's only a short hike to where I've parked."

A few minutes later we emerged onto a stretch of roadside I recognized as only a mile or so northeast of my house. Sitting abandoned on the shoulder of the two lane freeway was an impossibly shiny sports car. I gaped, staring at the gleaming paintjob.

"That's your car?"


	11. Jealousy

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**_ _Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Eleven; Jealousy_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_**AN:**__ All the usual thanks. Readers, reviewers, people who have me on alert, all of you are awesome and make me happy. I hope you enjoy this update. I know this chapter is again mostly fluff (which will please some of you), but for those of you who are getting restless with the slow pace, we're almost on top of the drama-filled portion of the story, I promise._

_Once you're done reading this, I urge you to go check out _Two Weeks_, a fic by my friend and beta Jana. I convinced her to give the Twilight fandom a try and she has. If you like vampward, fluff and romance, you'll like her AU. Best of all, she's a speed writer, and had already finished writing the series, though she's still in the process of posting, updates should be quick._

xx

I grinned inwardly at Bella's shocked tone once she spotted my brand new Vanquish parked on the side of the road.

When I'd met Bella, I hadn't had a car that I actually drove in years. I had a small collection of vintage cars in storage out east. They were all in mint condition and I wasn't about to ruin one by driving it. I was a collector more than a driver, but driving the Vanquish reminded me how much I liked the speed. It was a lot like running, with a similar rush.

If it were necessary for James, Victoria or I to drive to keep up our human façade, we used James' sleek black viper. I got the impression he liked the name better than the actual vehicle. He viewed cars as an unnecessary and inherently human technology. We tended to run places more often than we drove as a result.

Even though James' car had been parked in front of the bed and breakfast, untouched since we had arrived in Forks, there was no way that I was going to ask him to borrow it to transport Bella. It was unwilling to bring him into contact with her in any way. He would smell her sweet scent and announce he had to have a taste. Her scent was more tempting to me than most, but she had unusually sweet blood for a human. There was no way that James would bother trying to resist, for her sake or mine. I wasn't planning to test him on it.

I was left with no choice but to buy a new car. I knew James wouldn't think much of me withdrawing a few hundred thousand dollars to purchase a new car. It would hardly make a dent in the account. James knew about my collection; one of his favourite pastimes was to mock me endlessly for being a human lover and adopting their "stupid habit of revering glorified hunks of metal." I didn't care. It was just one more thing on an already insanely long list of things for James to annoy me about.

As soon as I'd left Bella the night before, I'd gone to the nearest luxury car dealership. Even though it was already nearly ten o'clock at night, once I had made it clear I was purchasing, by way of a flash of bills, I'd been attended to immediately.

The human girl who'd served me had been stunned with my vehicular selection and my demand that I be able to drive the car off the lot that instant. It wasn't often you saw twenty-one-year-olds (or so my license said) making such grandiose demands.

Or perhaps what really shocked her was how I had promptly forked over well over a quarter of a million dollars in cash following my selection of the Vanquish. She was silenced when I'd smiled at her winningly and laid an additional stack of bills on the table between us. Three minutes later, I was speeding off the lot.

I'd considered buying something practical with a top of the line safety rating – like a Volvo, perhaps – to ensure Bella's safety, but vanity won out. I wanted to impress Bella with my car, and no one was impressed by Volvos. Even soccer moms liked them for their safety features, not their magnetic sex appeal. I was a perfect driver anyway, so the possibility of a crash was a non-existent. Bella would be perfectly safe with me behind the wheel.

So it was a great satisfaction to me when Bella slipped off my back and approached the car, reverently touching the sleek black hood. I fought back the instinctive cringe, refraining from the urge to tell her she was getting messy human fingerprints on my car.

"Edward, do you have any idea how… hot," she flushed at the description, "this car is? How the hell do you have a car like this? It looks brand new."

I grinned proudly, glossing over the fact the car was indeed new.

"You know how I told you that my father was a lawyer? Well, he was a really good one. All my father's money has been invested wisely. My family is also very lucky; high stakes blackjack tables have treated us well. James really enjoys going to the casino."

That was all true at face value. My father's money had been invested well, decades ago. And my family did rake in money at various casinos, but that had more to do with vampire senses and my gift than luck.

"But this car must have cost, what, a hundred thousand?"

I smiled. "Something like that."

It was clear Bella knew nothing about cars. I wasn't about to explain it was actually more like three times that price. I had a feeling she would be horrified.

"It's just so cool," she gushed. "I had no idea that you had a car like this. You must think my truck is a piece of garbage."

I led her to the passenger side door, a hand on the small of her back. I could feel her warmth, even through the layers of clothes.

"Well, yes, but that has less to do with my car than the fact that your truck actually truly is a piece of garbage. How you feel safe driving that wretched thing, I don't think I'll ever know. I worry on your behalf."

She crossed her arms defensively, pouting at my insulting the integrity of her car, as I guided her into her cushiony leather seat.

"My truck has never let me down… except that one time it broke down on the highway. Or the time that it stalled in the school parking lot. Or wait, the time it got stuck in that pothole. But that's it."

"Yes," I drawled, "I can see why you defend it. I love it when my car breaks down. Oh, wait, that's never happened to me, because my car actually _is_ reliable."

She stuck out her bottom lip. I badly wanted to touch it with mine. I didn't trust myself to yet. I was handling her scent well, able to touch her without causing her any harm, but I wasn't sure I was ready for more. I tugged on her ponytail affectionately instead, reveling in the feeling of the smooth strands beneath my fingertips.

My rule about not touching her had gone completely to hell the night before. I wasn't sorry about it in the least. Now I couldn't stop touching her. I might not be able to kiss her, but I needed to touch her now. It went beyond a simple want. It was necessary. I closed the door, putting a barrier between us before I could be tempted any further. I wasn't ready and neither was she. Kissing would be something better saved for when she knew. Who knew how horrified she might be to learn she had kissed a vampire?

I slid into the driver's side seat, my thoughts still ruminating.

Bella glanced at me curiously. "How did you get there so fast? You're always so fast. It's kind of freaky. It's like you teleport sometimes or something. I've noticed it in the meadow before. That time we heard the noises. You were right behind me on the path but when I turned around, you were gone."

I shifted uncomfortably, the smooth leather squeaking beneath me. I cursed myself for being so careless and easily distracted. "I'm just fast, I suppose." It was a standard non-answer. It was true I was faster than most people, because I was a vampire. Hell, I was faster than most vampires, too.

She returned my half-hearted smile with a genuine one, touching my hand, which was gripping the steering wheel uncomfortably. No doubt there would be indents.

"Hey, I didn't mean anything by it. It's just something I noticed."

I wasn't sure whether I was relieved that she was beginning to piece everything together on her own or terrified that she was that much closer to possibly banishing me from her life. Even though it had been a couple of days since that one sunny day, my burst of courage had never reappeared. After being thwarted by circumstance once, I couldn't help but think of the entire prospect of telling her in a pessimistic light. I'd been naive and downright idiotic to be so hasty. She would need time to trust me.

"So," she said, slightly louder than necessary, obviously trying to erase the tension by changing the subject. "Do you know what movie you want to see?"

I shrugged, putting the car in gear and reversing in a U-turn, heading towards Port Angeles. "To be honest, I don't know what movies are playing right now. I haven't been to the movies in a while. I don't have much opportunity to go. I don't have anyone to go with."

"Then I'm glad I could go with you. It's not fair that your sister moves you around all the time and you don't get to have normal teenage experiences, even ones as simple as going to high school."

"I went to high school once," I corrected, because it was true. Granted, it had been ninety years ago.

"Did you like it?" she asked, curiously. "Would you go back, if you could? If you didn't move so much?"

I shrugged "I don't know. Perhaps. I suppose it would depend on the circumstances. I wouldn't mind going to school with you."

She blushed. "It would be cool to have you in my classes. English especially. I've never met anyone else as well read as me. None of the kids at school really read. Angela tries to take an interest in books for my sake, but it's obvious it's not something that she cares much about. Photography is more her thing."

I grinned. "Well, then feel free to consider me your books-related confidant."

She smiled shyly at the offer. "Thanks."

The rest of the ride to Port Angeles we talked about simple, boring things. I'd never been more pleased to simply talk to someone. For once, it felt like someone was listening to what I had to say and actually wanted to hear it.

xx

"The 40-year-old Virgin? You have got to be kidding me." I muttered under my breath, in distaste.

We were staring up at the "Now Playing" list at the small movie theatre in Port Angeles. What the fuck kinds of movies was this theatre showing? Had we actually stumbled into some kind of adult themed theatre without knowing it?

"So," Bella asked cheerfully, a bright smile glued to her face as she bounced on her toes. Her cheeks were flushed, her happiness all but oozing from her. Because she was with me. My ego swelled a little. "What do you want to see?"

"I want to see whatever you want to see."

It was the truth. I wanted her to be happy. I knew I'd watch her more than the movie, anyway. She was infinitely more fascinating.

She rolled her eyes, apparently not happy with that response. "What if I wanted to see what you wanted to see?"

"Well, because I am much more patient than you, we'd end up seeing what you wanted to see. I can and will wait for you to choose."

She stared me down for a few seconds before she cracked a small smile. "And you have the nerve to call me stubborn? I have nothing on you."

"There's a difference between being stubborn and being determined," I countered primly. "If one is stubborn, they are being mulish for no discernable reason. I have a perfectly justified reason for my tenacity; I am determined that you have fun today."

She raised an eyebrow at me, blinking slightly. "Well. Your dad was definitely a lawyer. Swallow a dictionary lately or something?"

I ignored her. "What is it going to be?" I tapped my foot, capturing her hand in one of mine. I gestured to the backlit billboard with my other.

She shook her head. "Stubborn," she grinned.

I nodded to the billboard pointedly.

Sighing in defeat, she perused her options which included _Just Like Heaven_, _The Corpse Bride_ and _The Exorcism of Emily Rose_. Port Angeles' theatre really seemed to have a morbid, dead people theme going on. Then of course there was the option to see a movie about a middle-aged virgin, which didn't sound all that appealing either. I felt guilty for making Bella pick.

Bella hemmed and hawed for a few minutes as if it was actually a difficult decision. Perhaps she was trying to pick the least of several evils.

"The Corpse Bride?" she said hesitantly, as if she was asking me whether her choice was okay.

"You want to watch a film about a man marrying a dead woman?" I found this slightly ironic. As a vampire, I was a kind of living corpse and I wasn't opposed to the idea of being with Bella, a living person. However, _The Corpse Groom_ didn't sound quite as marketable. We'd need to come up with a different title for our story.

"Did you want to pick?" I could practically hear her smugness.

"I'll get our tickets."

I hadn't even taken a step toward the booth when Bella stopped me, though not for the reason I expected.

"Wait! You shouldn't have to pay, Edward. I can get my own ticket. It's fine, really. We're not on a… date." She whispered the final word like it was forbidden. My ego deflated.

"I'll go get _our_ tickets. I'll be right back." I looked steadily into her eyes, daring her to challenge me again. Let her make of that what she would. If she assumed we were on a date because I was buying her ticket, it wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen.

I made a beeline towards the clerk before she could protest. When I asked for two tickets, handing over a twenty dollar bill, the boy at the counter winked at me.

"Dude, the chick you're with is hot. Check out all that hair and those big eyes. Are you guys, like, going out? Tell me you're all up in that. Because, dude, if you're not, I'll gladly take your place–"

I glared at him. What had ever happened to tact? I was obviously buying for two people. Propositioning the girl I was buying a ticket for was clearly not a good idea. Were I not in the practice of not harming innocents (I used the term loosely in this case) I would have shown him what a black eye felt like.

"I am well aware how my _girlfriend_ looks, thank you." I couldn't help but growl at him as I spun on my heel, not bothering to collect my change, fisting the tickets in my hand. To my satisfaction, he looked on the verge of needing a change of pants.

Bella looked at me with big concerned eyes once I returned to her side. "What happened? Did the ticket guy say something to you? You guys looked like you were arguing." She peered around me at the boy. "He looks terrified. What did you say to him?"

"He was making inappropriate comments about you," I explained innocently, wrapping an arm around her shoulder possessively and glaring over my shoulder at the idiot. "You couldn't expect me to let him be so vulgar and do nothing."

Her cheeks flooded with colour. "What did he say?"

"I wont repeat such impolite words. Trust me, he won't be saying them again. Come on, we have a movie to see." Lowering my arm to her waist, I guided her towards the concession, pulling another bill out of my pocket. "What do you want to eat?"

"Edward, you just bought our tickets. You can't get the snacks, too." She stuffed her hand in her own pocket, trying to pass me a ten.

"Bella," I said patiently, tugging her ponytail again, trying to convey that I wanted to do this for her. "I want to treat you. It was my idea to come to the movies. It's only fair that I pay. Besides, you need to start saving for college. It's less than a year away now. You've said yourself your Dad's only got so much invested for your education. I wouldn't feel right reducing your savings."

She rolled her eyes. "It's ten bucks, Edward. It won't make or break me going to college. My savings are a drop in the bucket, anyway. I'd have to save until I was thirty to go anywhere decent. There's no way I'm going next year unless I get some sizable scholarships."

"You will be going to college, Bella," I said firmly. I knew she would, one way or another. She was intelligent enough to secure a scholarship. Even if she wasn't, there were ways of arranging funding. There was no way I was going to let her stand by and miss out on her dreams because of something as stupid as finances.

"Thanks for your faith." She smiled at me, the spark still in her eyes. "You're still taking this ten, though." She pressed the bill against my chest with one finger, so it was poised to fall to the ground unless I took it. I considered letting it, but I decided that would be stubborn, and after my lecture earlier, I figured that would be hypocritical.

I rolled my eyes, taking the proffered bill, tucking it into my pocket. I'd put it back into her bag later.

"So you never said. What do you want?"

She grinned at me. "Cotton candy and popcorn?" she asked, an innocent lilt to her voice, like a child asking for a toy. Of course I could deny her nothing. Especially not when she spontaneously kissed my cheek after I nodded in response .

I could still feel the burning outline of her lips against my skin. She didn't even complain I was cold. I wondered if, on some level, she knew I was different and had accepted it.

We loaded up our arms with her preferred treats and a giant plastic cup of Diet Coke, which looked disgusting and syrupy and smelled even worse. I almost enjoyed the smell of the cotton candy. It was sweet, and brought to mind a vague memory of attending a small travelling fair when I was still human. I remembered the smell of sweetness in the air. My father had refused to let me try some, claiming it would rot my teeth, despite of my mother's protests that we were at the fair and it would be a one time thing.

Watching Bella eat the stuff was downright erotic, though. How she made something that looked like dyed cotton balls appealing was a mystery. I could hardly pay attention to the movie on screen. Instead, all my focus was on the girl beside me and the way she melted blue fluff on her tongue.

She offered me some several times, her fingers sticky and sweet with sugar but I always refused, more than content to watch her indulge. I'd paid my penance the night before by drinking half a cup of the putrid stuff that humans liked to call tea. It tasted earthy, like dirt flavoured water. I could stand that because, as a liquid, it would pass through my system eventually. Solid foods were a different matter entirely.

I knew, if push came to shove, I'd eat it though, simply because Bella asked me to. That was precisely what happened with the popcorn. I was beginning to realize I'd do just about anything for her. No matter how painful or unappealing the task, her unhappiness was exponentially worse.

She insisted I have some, because she'd eaten all the cotton candy and I deserved my share. Try as I might, I couldn't even pretend to like it. I'm sure my blatant dislike for the revolting squishy texture of the food showed in my face, because Bella's face fell when she looked at me.

"You hate it don't you? You don't have to eat it. I'm sorry I'm being so pushy." She frowned into the half-eaten bag of popcorn.

I gently raised her chin with the tip of my finger. "Remember how I said I was on a liquid diet?" I whispered, conscientious of the movie still reeling in the background. "I don't usually eat things like that. I don't digest them well. I've got a… condition."

"Condition?" she whispered back, her forehead creasing. "You're not dying are you?"

"No. I'd rather not talk about it now, if you don't mind. Eventually I'll tell you everything, I promise. Patience, beautiful." Her heart rate spiked at the term of endearment, a tiny smile lifting her mouth.

"Is this the thing that you can't tell me? The secret? It's your condition, isn't it?"

"Yes." I nodded slightly, even though it was a gross simplification of the matter. "But you don't need to worry about me. It's nothing that can hurt me. It's just frustrating more than anything else."

A man an aisle over glared at us and shushed us. Apparently our hushed voices weren't hushed enough. Bella returned his glare before turning back to me. I could read the questions in her eyes, but now was not the time.

I stopped her before she could voice any of them. "Later," I mouthed.

She wasn't pleased, but turned her attention back to the movie, anyway. After a moment of silent watching, she pointedly lifted the armrest so that she could lean against my shoulder. I lifted my arm so she could rest her head against me in a slightly less awkward position. I liked that she wanted to be close to me, even if it was just so she could comfort me about my so-called condition.

I kissed the top of her head, carefully bracing myself against the temptation of her scent. I wondered if she had even the slightest idea how much she'd changed me in the span of mere weeks. Three weeks ago, this kind of closeness would have been impossible. But it wasn't just that. She'd changed me as a person, too. The Edward from three weeks ago didn't exist any longer.

And to think I had thought change was a thing of the past since I turned seventeen.

I didn't know what this bright, beautiful, amazing human girl had done to me but I supposed it was some kind of minor miracle.

xx

"Are you going to tell me now?" Bella asked, turning the full force of her brown eyes on me the moment our feet hit the pavement outside the theatre.

"Are you hungry? We should stop for lunch." I was asking mostly as a distraction but I was genuinely worried.

It was after one and I knew Bella had to be getting hungry. I'd gathered from the buzz of thoughts over the years that humans usually ate around noon. We were an hour late. The junk food she'd eaten couldn't really stand in for a substantial, nutritious meal. I didn't pay much attention to about human diets but even I knew that popcorn and cotton candy weren't a healthy meal.

She rolled her eyes, the previous line of questioning forgotten. "You worry about me to much. Bella, are you getting enough sleep? Bella, are you eating enough? Bella, are your meals well-balanced? Bella, when was the last time you visited your family physician?" she mocked me, deepening her voice in a way that sounded nothing like mine but made me laugh anyway. "My parents worry less."

"Sorry. In my defense, you made up the last two questions." Though it would be a lie to say I hadn't thought about asking similar ones. "I just wanted to make sure that you're taking care of yourself. Sleep and a rounded diet are important for your health."

"Says the guy who just bought a jumbo size of everything at the concession stand. Most of which he insisted I eat."

I ignored her sarcastic tone, leading her down the small downtown street in search of a restaurant where the servers would not ask if "I wanted fries with that."

"I wanted to make sure that you didn't run out. Besides, that's precisely why you should let me take you out for lunch; snack foods aren't a substitute for a good meal and by going to the movies with me, you missed lunch. You don't have to be home for another three or four hours, at least. Don't you want to spend that time together?"

She grinned. "Hmm, well, when you put it like that, I guess I'd be crazy to say no."

"Because you want to spend more time with me?"

"No," she countered, a teasing gleam in her smile. "You said you were paying, right?"

I scoffed. "As if that would matter to you. You practically forced a ten dollar bill down my pants when I tried to pay for our snacks."

"Okay, fine," she backtracked, "I love spending time with you, even if it means you spending money on me."

"Bella," I sighed in a long-suffering way. "I am well off financially. My parents left me a sizable amount of money; money that will be impossible for me to spend in a single lifetime. Please indulge me and let me spend, what is to my bank statement, the equivalent of pennies on you."

"Gee, Edward, you sure know how to make a girl feel special."

I ignored her, more focused on a small Italian bistro I'd spotted just past the next intersection. "Stop being such a grump. There's a place, right up there."

I grabbed her hand, pulling her easily down the street, even though she was purposely trying to drag her feet. I would have carried her if need be.

The hostess, a girl who couldn't be more than a few years older than Bella, greeted us warmly. She smiled at me adoringly with nauseating thoughts to match. I ignored her flirty tone, focusing all my attention on Bella, hoping she would take the hint.

_How can someone like him be interested in someone like her? She's not even wearing any makeup. I wonder if she's ever been shopping in her life. Her jeans look older than she is… /She's probably just an unfortunate looking cousin his mom is forcing him to spend time with._

I fought back a growl at the insolent and completely unwarranted commentary. Vapid girls like this were the reason I had no desire to return to high school. Outer beauty always triumphed inner beauty with those types. Not that they had much of either.

Bella for all her simplicity, was stunning. How could this girl, or anyone, be oblivious to how gorgeous she was? How was it possible to go from the boy at the theatre who had liked Bella to the point of inappropriateness to this girl who could see nothing but negativity? I would never understand teenagers, even if I was eternally doomed to be one.

"We'd like a table for two, please?" Bella said with a friendly smile, completely oblivious to the girl's cruel thoughts. "A quiet booth would be nice… maybe somewhere in the back?"

The hostess eyed her before returning her gaze to me. "I'll see what I can do." Her tone was sickly sweet.

_A quiet booth? Whatever. She should consider herself lucky to be seen with him at all. What are they gonna do with a quiet booth, anyway? Make out? Yeah, right._

We were immediately led to a table in the middle of the floor, where I had no doubt the white noise of clinking silverware was the loudest.

"Excuse me," I said with forced courtesy, "my… Bella asked for a quieter table… if you don't mind?"

I ducked my head, embarrassed that I had almost called her my girlfriend. It was one thing to say it to a snotty sixteen-year-old cashier when Bella was out of hearing distance. It was another to say it in front of her when I had no claim to her besides in my own delusions.

_I bet she made him say that, just to make me look incompetent. What a bitch._

"Of course, sir," the girl sneered under a thin veil of politeness. "You and _your Bella_ can come right this way." Bella's heartbeat stuttered erratically. Whether it was because of the girl's repetition of my slip, or her venomous tone, I wasn't sure.

Once we were seated in a quieter booth, I apologized for spurring the hostess's surly attitude. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to."

"Call me your Bella, you mean?" she asked in a deceptively light tone. "Or were you talking about bringing me into a restaurant where the waitress won't stop making googly eyes at you?"

Shit. Clearly I was worse at this than I thought.

Girls were more complicated than I remembered them being. When I was human, if you told them they looked pretty and invited them in for a glass of iced tea, you were in their good books. Clearly the twenty-first century had brought some changes in the fairer sex that I hadn't adequately prepared myself for.

I'd apologized for one thing but apparently there were two other things that I should potentially be apologizing for. To make matters worse she wanted me to pick one and I had no idea which was the better answer.

"Both?" I asked hesitantly, dragging the word into two syllables. Somehow I knew this wouldn't be adequate.

To my surprise, Bella merely sighed. "I'm sorry, too. It's not your fault that the waitress was hitting on you. You probably get that a lot, huh?"

This time I had the intelligence to keep my mouth shut.

"Look," she continued, saving me from having to answer. "You're just so perfect. It's easy for a girl to get self-conscious around you. You could hang out with anyone you want to. That waitress is easily twenty and probably in college. Why would you want to hang out with boring, plain Bella Swan when you could have that instead?"

"Because, you're not boring or plain at all," I said, carefully treading on the eggshells that were the entirety of this conversation. "You're fun and beautiful. And you get me. I feel comfortable around you. That's not something that happens to me very often."

Bella cracked a smile. "How do you do that? I was feeling like complete and utter crap and you just swooped in and made me feel better in an instant."

"It's a gift," I teased, glad to have our light banter back. I handed her one of the leather-bound menus. "Now what do you want?"

She scanned the menu, quickly settling on the mushroom ravioli. She looked to me for my order.

"Diet," I reminded her. I was thankful for the distraction when the waitress came to take our drink orders. I was even more thankful that she wasn't nearly as openly flirtatious as the hostess.

"So," I said brightly once she'd left. "What do you want to do after lunch?"

xx

I watched with affection as Bella scanned the columns upon columns of books, her big brown eyes glowing with happiness.

When she had casually thrown out the idea that we stop at the bookstore next door to _Bella Italia_, so she could pick up some new reading material before we continued on with our day, I immediately knew that we were going to spend the rest of the day in the eclectic little shop.

It was small but packed to the brim with books from all sorts of genres. It looked like one of those old, traditional libraries, with its rolling ladders and bookshelves as high as the ceilings on three of the four walls. I understood immediately why Bella loved it. I wasn't surprised when she loaded herself up with a stack of books as high as her chin and curled into one of the red velvet arm chairs in the little reading nook in the back corner of the store.

I settled on the carpet near her feet, not wanting to distance myself from her any more than was absolutely necessary. The matching armchair was too far away.

Curious, I scanned the titles she'd dumped next to her chair, amused to see that she'd brought everything from _The Tenant of Wildfell Hall_ to _The Importance of Being Earnest_ to _Madame Bovary_. I could discern no pattern in her literary tastes, other than she seemed to enjoy the classics. Nothing in her collection was written earlier than a century ago. I vaguely recalled many of the titles from my own school days.

"A fan of the classics, are you?" I asked, tugging on her pant leg.

"Yep," she grinned, flashing the book she was holding at me, which happened to be _The Turn of the Screw_. "Classic. Who doesn't love a good ghost story, right?"

I smiled. "James is great." There was a phrase I never thought I'd say.

"I love the is it or isn't it real element," she added. "Personally, I like to think it was. The governess wasn't crazy. Ghosts could exist."

I nodded mutely, the topic a little too close to my reality for comfort. I tried to smile but it fell flat.

After a few beats of silence, she asked, "Are you going to read, too, or just sit there and stare at me?"

"Watching you is fascinating to me."

"Yeah, fascinating," she scoffed. "Watching me sit here like a rock must be enthralling."

"You're more interesting than you think. You have the most unusual taste of any teenager I've ever met. You would think my parents had chosen those," I tapped the gargantuan stack of books, several of which I knew I'd end up buying for her. I'd seen her relatively meager collection in her room. She had admitted that she'd had to leave most of her books behind with her mother in Florida, since transporting them across the country wasn't practical.

She sniffed, faking indignation. I could see she wasn't really offended by the humour in her eyes.

"I just happen to have more refined tastes than you. Why don't you go pick some boy books? I think I saw _Treasure Island_ back in that aisle, there," she pointed the furthermost shelf. "Or maybe you'd prefer _Gulliver's Travels_. Or wait, those might be too classic for you. I think I saw a bunch of _The Hardy Boys_ around somewhere." She snickered.

"Ha ha," I deadpanned, still sorting through her stack of books. It pleased me to know that I'd read most of her selections.

James scoffed at my habit of reading books to pass the time. Though at the speed I could process words, it didn't pass much. As usual, his most common insult was that it was a human activity and therefore beneath vampires. He assumed that by indulging in books I was futilely trying to hang onto my human past. Well, someone should. He and Victoria retained their humanity only as far as it could get them things they wanted.

I couldn't help but chuckle when I noticed _Dracula_ in amongst Bella's stack. "_Dracula_, Bella? Really?"

In retrospect, I realized that drawing attention to the book and making fun of it was probably a method of preemptive self-protection.

"What's wrong with _Dracula_?" she frowned, looking up from the book in her lap, a crease forming between her eyebrows. "Vampires are one of the most awesome monsters out there."

I fought back a cringe at the use of the word monster. It confirmed everything I'd been worried about.

"Good thing they're not real then, huh?" I asked lightly.

She shrugged. "Oh, I don't know… I've taught myself to always expect the unexpected. It's not fair to write off vampires as unreal. People still believe in ghosts and aliens. Why should vampires be discounted?"

"Do you really want to imagine the possibility of something so horrific being real?"

"Things aren't always as they seem," she said quietly. "Trust me, I'd know."

"What do you mean?" I asked, thoroughly confused. How was it that this human girl could so easily confound me? Was I really that reliant on my ability to read minds?

"Nevermind, I can't say anything, anyway. It's not my story to tell."

"But–"

My protest was cut off by a dark-skinned boy with short, dark hair calling Bella's name. "Bella? Is that you? I thought I saw you from the window."

A wide grin spread across her face as she turned to face the boy. I didn't like it at all. A possessive part of me didn't like that she was smiling at someone other than me. Even though I knew that it was ridiculous, I couldn't help the way I felt.

"Hey, Embry! What are you doing here?"

xx

_AN: I think this is my first real cliffhanger. I've held out an entire eleven chapters… I'm much nicer than I originally thought._

_The movies listed in this chapter are actually the movies that were playing the last week of September in 2005... odd selection, no?_

_I'm considering doing the next chapter in EPOV, even though it'll break the pattern I've set up. Edward is pushy (and stubborn, despite what he says) and is campaigning more than his fair share of speaking time._


	12. Anxious

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Twelve; Anxious_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_AN: Sorry for the posting delay. I don't really have any excuses… but I do have the longest chapter to date, so hopefully that makes up for it :) We've also moved away from the fluff and onto some weightier material. Be warned, this chapter has some violence that earns its M rating._

xx

Bella grinned welcomingly at the boy.

I scowled. How did he know Bella? She had never mentioned a classmate named Embry. Embry was a stupid name.

He crossed the distance separating him from Bella in a few long strides, stopping a few feet from where she sat. A safe, friendly distance.

He paid no attention to me. He didn't even seem to notice me sitting at the foot of her chair.

The closer he came, the more tense my shoulders became. My muscles felt like they might seize when I caught a whiff of a recognizable scent. A shot of terror rushed through me.

He smelled like one of the wolves from the forest; a strange and putrid earthy scent reminiscent of wet dog. The smell was almost intolerable but still distinct enough that I could differentiate it from the others of his kind. He was definitely one of the five I'd had the pleasure of meeting. A quick recall of my memories of that night drew a mention of his name.

So this was one of the humanoid dogs. My glimpses into their minds had revealed the faces of several Native American teenagers but I'd had no reason to directly link them to the wolves.

Now it was clear that the dogs and the boys were one and the same. They must be some kind of shapeshifers, to be able to move fluidly from human to wolf. It was illogical, but I'd been living with the seemingly illogical for decades. At least this explained the unusual attachment the wolves had to saving human life and how they had known of my Bella.

I leaned against the foot of Bella's chair, terror, anger and confusion mingling in my chest. I had no idea what I should do to ensure my safety or Bella's. I didn't want him to reveal anything to Bella whom he obviously cared about on some level. Nor did I want him to step any closer to her. I didn't want to have to lash out at him to keep him away but I simply didn't trust him. He might be wired to instinctually protect humans but he was still a wolf.

He would notice my scent sooner or later, though I wasn't sure he would have heightened senses he obviously had in his wolf form. I sat, contemplating my options, undulating between wanting to indulge my instinct to take flight and my instinct to fight.

"I was just in town picking up some things for my mom," Embry explained casually as I fumed. "How have you been? You haven't been around to the rez in a while. Everyone's wondering where you've disappeared to. Jake's going nuts." He focused his dark brown eyes on Bella. She tilted her head downward, her cheeks reddening at the scrutiny.

I didn't like his brotherly affection. She wasn't his to protect. She was mine.

"I'm good." She smiled half-heartedly, turning her attention to me, a grin on her face. "This is my friend Edward."

My stomach twisted, though the pride in her voice made up for it somewhat.

His gaze shifted to me, darkening in recognition. An image of my face against the mossy green and brown backdrop of the forest floated through his thoughts. Though he attempted a smile, the result was stiff. His face held none of the warmth Bella's did.

He was clearly fighting his instinct to rip me limb from limb. His thoughts were murmuring the alpha's orders on repeat. Apparently he couldn't disobey, even if he wanted to. Interesting.

I bared my teeth at him, just barely managing to curl my lips into the illusion of a smile. His teeth grit together in response.

_He's one of Cullen's. Remember what Sam said. He won't hurt anyone. Just don't look at his eyes. Fucking disgusting._

Cullen.

There was that name again.

I really wanted to know who the fuck Cullen was and what he wanted from me. What did this dog mean when he said I was "one of his?" I'd never met anyone named Cullen nor had I sworn my loyalty to him. After a hundred years on this planet I'd learned that nothing, especially not protection, came without a price. I wanted to know whom I owed debts.

"Hello Edward," he said awkwardly after a too-long beat of silence.

I nodded, addressing him in kind. "It's nice to meet you," I forced myself to add, trying to infuse the phrase with some warmth.

He didn't extend his hand and neither did I.

Bella looked back and forth between us, concerned. "Do you guys know one another?" she asked, placing a hand on my shoulder to gain my attention. I refused to tear my eyes from the dog. I didn't like unpredictability, especially when said unpredictability was looking at Bella like that.

_Why, yes, Bella, I do know him_, Embry answered in his head, mockingly. _Since when do you associate with cold-blooded killers? Trust Bella to befriend a vampire._

I narrowed my eyes at him. He stared back unperturbed.

"No," we echoed, still staring one another down.

"Okay," she drawled with a note of distrust.

"Suspicious much, Bella?" I teased, making light of the situation in an attempt to diffuse the rapidly mounting tension.

My strained smile melted into a more genuine one when I forced myself to meet her eyes. I was careful to keep the wolf in my peripherals.

His eyes softened at my gentle interactions with her, especially when she innocently reached to squeeze my hand.

The physical interaction between us seemed to set him at ease, if only slightly. He didn't look in danger of pouncing on me anymore.

_Weird. He's teasing her and letting her… touch him. Maybe he does care about her? No. Red eyes don't have morals. They definitely don't make friends. They're predators. If he hasn't harmed her yet… what is he waiting for?_

"Erm, yeah, Edward here, um… he just looks like someone I thought I knew. Uh, the doctor's son."

"Doctor?" Bella asked, confused. "Dr. Gerandy has two daughters."

Embry shifted uncomfortably. "Um, no… Dr. Cullen. The one with the freaky army of adopted kids."

So Cullen was the town's philanthropic doctor. What the fuck did some human doctor have to do with me? The more I learned, the more confused I became.

Bella crossed her arms, apparently offended by Embry's imprudent evaluation of Dr. Cullen and his children.

"That's so… Shut up. They're nice. His youngest daughter, Alice, was my partner for a Spanish oral. She's a little bubbly… but sweet."

_Geez. Now she's defending the rest of the Cullens, too?_

Embry scratched his head absently, more uncomfortable than ever. "Sorry, sorry. I'm sure they're great. I just thought Edward was supposed to be one of them."

Bella arched an eyebrow at him curiously. "Supposed to be one of them?" she repeated questioningly. "What does that mean? How would know about what Edward is 'supposed' to be, if you've never met him?"

I had to admit it was kind of funny to see him caught in the lie. Bella was too perceptive for her own good. Thank god she hadn't turned her questioning on me. The dog could deal with the hole he'd dug himself. I was sure he was good at that; he had to bury his doggie treats somewhere.

He sighed internally, a frustrated mental huff echoing through his mind into mine.

"Nothing. Wrong word choice. I just meant I thought he looked like one of Dr. Cullen's kids."

"No." Bella shook her head suspiciously. "The three of them go to my school. Edward looks nothing like any of them." She turned to me. "Edward's new in town. He lives with his sister and brother-in-law."

_If he's not one of them then why would Cullen… Wait. Two others? …The sadistic twins? He's with _them_? Cullen never mentioned them. They _better_ still be fair game! I wonder what this one did to earn a get out of jail free card?_

He nodded, clearly uncomfortable. "Okay. Cool. Guess I was wrong then."

He glanced to the exit, prompting Bella to ask, "You want to stay and hang out with us?" I was pleased to note that it seemed she was only asking to be polite. "We're just sitting around reading."

He briefly considered staying to ensure her safety, ultimately deciding that I didn't pose an immediate threat to her.

"Thanks for the offer, Bells, but I gotta get going. Mom's waiting. Just… be careful, alright? Don't get yourself into any trouble. And call Jake. Please. You shutting him out is killing him. I know he's a jackass, but give him a chance to explain, okay? It's important." His eyes flicked to me almost imperceptibly.

She rolled her eyes at the request but waved goodbye warmly, anyway. "Okay, okay. Call Jake. Got it. I'll see you around?"

He nodded and waved back, shooting one last glare at me before disappearing out the door. I offered a small, peaceable wave. I was glad to see him leave more than anything else.

I breathed a sigh of relief once he was gone. The odor of dog lingered, but Bella was safe and for some strange reason Embry hadn't revealed my secrets to her. I supposed he had his own secrets to keep. I almost felt a kinship with him. Or I might have if he hadn't smelled so disgusting.

"Okay," Bella rounded on me. "What was that? Some weird guy meeting ritual I don't know about?"

xx

I watched contentedly as Bella climbed the steps to her home, a small smile gracing her delicate features. She turned to wave at me, her grin widening.

I rolled down one of the automatic windows to return the gesture and mouth that I'd meet her in the meadow the following day. Just in case she didn't understand, I pointed exaggeratedly behind her house, where the meadow lay.

She nodded, her expression bright, and climbed the last few steps before disappearing into the house.

I stayed parked in the driveway for a few moments, listening to her interact with her father. Their familial interactions made me feel slightly nostalgic. Despite their slightly distant interactions, it was clear they loved one another.

It made me long for my mother's quiet affection and my own human days.

I wondered, not for the first time, if I was doing the right thing by drawing Bella into my world. Whether it was tomorrow or two years from now, being with me would ultimately cost her the relationships she shared with her parents.

My thoughts heavy, I reversed the Vanquish, speeding toward Seattle.

It had been a while since I'd hunted. My eyes had to be nearly black rather than their usual burgundy. I didn't want Bella to notice. She was curious enough as it was; I didn't need to make it worse. Embry hadn't helped matters. If any more red flags were raised, I wouldn't be able to avoid answering her questions any longer.

It was easier to trust myself around her when I wasn't thirsty, too. I knew I'd never purposely hurt her – that was one of very few things in the world that I was absolutely certain of – but a thirsty vampire was an unpredictable vampire. Risking her life simply because I hadn't hunted recently was unthinkable.

I needed the opportunity to clear my head. So much of my life was up in the air. Giving myself up to my instincts and the buzz of human thoughts in the city, while I searched for appropriate prey, would afford me that. For a few hours at least.

xx

I stashed the car in a seedy looking parking garage once I reached the outskirts of Seattle. I wouldn't be surprised to find it vandalized or stolen upon my return but I didn't really care. It was preferable to James knowing Bella existed.

Given the sheer number of overlapping scents in city areas, it was more difficult to trace scents. James disliked cities for that reason. As a tracker, he preferred unhindered access to scents and avoided urban areas whenever possible. Since the car was permeated with Bella's scent I wouldn't risk leaving it anywhere he would be likely to find it.

I doubted I would return to the car any time soon anyway. I could return to Forks much more quickly on foot. Avoiding traffic and the need to interact with humans were a bonus.

I locked the car with the little electronic button on my keys, though it probably wouldn't make much difference, and stashed them in my pocket, making a mental note to keep them away from James or Victoria's prying eyes.

I had no doubt that if James found the keys, he would be able to locate the car. As disturbing as I found him in so many aspects of life, I'd learned never to underestimate his ability to find the things he wanted, even if he had no discernable reason for wanting them. If he wanted to know what the keys unlocked, he'd find it.

I strolled down the darkening streets, suddenly ravenous. The scent of human activity lingered in the air, overpowering even the smoggy burnt-petrol smell that blanketed the city.

I wasn't sure what I was looking for. I never was. I'd know when I found it.

I opened my mind to the thoughts around me, attempting to locate someone in distress. I heard a few petty, non-violent domestic disturbances.

A husband and wife arguing about infidelity. Though his hands were balled into fists, it was clear to me that he had no intention of hitting her.

Two men brawling in a bar over who should pay the tab. They were both riled up, but neither seemed to be inherently violent.

A teenager attempting to rob a liquor store. His thoughts were more shaky and nervous than those of the cashier he was holding up with his father's handgun.

Just small, forgivable infractions in the scope of human life. Nothing to warrant a death sentence.

I pulled my jacket tighter around myself, ducking my shoulders to keep my face from being visible. I walked quickly through the alleyways, preparing myself for another long night. On a good night I could locate a victim in a couple hours.

It had been less than ten minutes and I was already getting antsy to find the satisfaction of my next meal. I wanted nothing more than to go home and not have to worry about feeding for another week or two.

I decided might have better luck in shadier part of town.

Guided by thoughts of wary women clutching their bags close with one hand, the other curled around the nozzle of a can of pepper spray, I was easily able to gauge a direction.

The setting sun signaled that the shady characters that made up part of urban landscape would begin to crawl out of the woodwork soon. Experience told me that criminals preferred the cover of night. It was still earlier than I tended to find my prey but tonight I was lucky.

It didn't take long to locate a young girl being abused in the alley behind what seemed to be a seedy-looking strip club with broken neon signs.

I weaved through the cityscape towards the club, following the anguished sounds of her mental pleas. Her thoughts were so intense, they rose above the din of other thoughts surrounding me. I had to make a conscious effort to ignore the cruel thoughts of the bulky man looming above her. His thoughts were loud, almost as loud as hers. He was enjoying her fear.

Avoiding the thoughts of the would-be killer was almost always necessary. I couldn't bear to look at the victim's faces through their eyes, nor hear the grotesque things they were planning to do, without feeling murderous rage myself. If I wanted to keep myself under control and avoid unleashing on an unintended target, there was no room for slippage.

I hadn't gotten far when I spotted the broken signage from the desperate girl's drunken, inconsistent memories.

It struck me as sad that, had it not been for fate placing me in this moment, the poor girl's last memories might be of the dingy signage outside a strip club.

My feet echoed loudly on the pavement as I rounded the building. I didn't care if the man was alerted to my presence. It never made a difference. By the end of the confrontation he would be dead and I would have one more victim under my belt.

He was more observant than most. He noticed me immediately, an annoyed sneer overtaking his face at the thought of having to deal with a disruption. He considered killing me to ensure my silence. He didn't want to risk going to jail again.

He growled at me, hardly sparing a glance over his shoulder. His bulky form hid the girl he was terrorizing from view.

Only a long wisp of brown hair was visible beyond his muscled shoulder. The sight of it reminded me of Bella. The thought of her hurt lit a fire of fury. The sooner this was over, the better.

"Get the fuck outta here, kid," he snarled at me. "Didn't your mama ever teach you it's rude to walk in on things that ain't your business? Fuck. Off."

He turned back to the girl he had in a stranglehold against the brick wall of the club, effectively giving me the brush off. He probably expected me to flee in terror. If only. Intimidation was my game.

I leaned against the nearby brick wall nonchalantly, scuffing my feet on the pavement loudly enough to draw his attention. Knowing it would irritate him, I slumped back casually, masking my fury with boredom. I even picked at a fingernail just to further his annoyance.

"My mother taught me it's not polite to hit girls," I said in my most affable tone.

"What did I say about things that aren't your business?" he roared, fixing his dark, bloodshot eyes on me.

He looked slightly more wary than before, though not quite threatened. Some innate part of him knew I was a danger to him but he was too cocky and over-confident in his own brute strength to listen to his instincts.

"Look, I don't wanna have to kick your scrawny, retarded little ass into next Tuesday. But if you don't butt the fuck out and leave me to deal with my business, you're gonna leave me no fucking choice."

"I'd like to see you try," I muttered. My tone pissed him off.

He dropped the girl like she was on fire. She let loose some gut-wrenching sobs, clutching her throat and cowering into the pavement as if it could protect her. I got my first good look at her. I had to swallow down the painful lump of anger that had settled in my throat in order to focus on the man.

The girl didn't just have Bella's hair colour. She looked eerily like her. She had big, brown eyes, and pale skin. She was probably even around the same age. The similarities were uncanny.

There were differences, too. The girl was wearing far too much makeup and her skirt was too short, much shorter than anything I'd ever seen on my brown-eyed girl. She smelled different and I could hear her thoughts.

Even knowing it wasn't Bella, the eerie similarities were enough to intensify my rage to a dangerous degree. I felt dangerously out of control of my own temper.

I wondered briefly if the desire to hurt and cause pain, simply to watch the suffering was how James felt when he selected his prey. I didn't care. If I had to stoop to the level of cold depravity that James did in order to show this man the ending he deserved, so be it.

I waited patiently as he tried to intimidate me into leaving, stomping heavily towards me. His thoughts were buzzing with wonder, surprised that I – a preppy kid, in navy Dockers – was standing my ground against him.

He was a definitive bully; he wasn't used to anyone challenging him. Those who did were usually shoved into submission by his bark alone. There was rarely an opportunity for him to employ his bite, other than for the sheer thrill of it. Unfortunately for him, my bite was a lot worse than his would ever be.

He reached a meaty fist out, wrapping his fingers around my neck. I allowed him. It would be more satisfying to see him give me his best shot and fail miserably before I killed him.

The girl squeaked in terror, not daring to move, fearing retribution from the scum who was currently allowing to touch me. Shoving down my disgust at that fact, I pasted on my bored expression. Nothing was more infuriating to a bully than realizing their intimidation tactics weren't intimidating at all.

He'd had no qualms about beating a man into an unconscious state – one he had never awoken from – only a week before. He recalled the event now, not in regret, but to bolster his courage and ratchet up his self-esteem as he faced me down.

I allowed him to squeeze with all his might. The granite of my throat didn't give way even a fraction of an inch.

"Are you done, yet?" I asked, in a perfectly flat voice, without even a hint of the breathlessness he was expecting.

"What the fuck are you on, kid? That shit ain't right."

Of course he would think I was drugged. Drugs were a commonplace part of his life and the most rational explanation for things he didn't understand.

I couldn't be a fantastic monster. I was just a kid hopped up on something that nullified my pain and made me irrationally invincible. That way he didn't have to face his own shortcomings, and the fact that his brute force wasn't enough to save his life.

I could read the fear slowly creeping into his eyes as his body caught up with his subconscious already knew. He let me go, already backing away.

He didn't get far. The moment he turned to run, I grabbed him by one of his cowardly retreating ankles. I hung him upside-down for a moment, baring my teeth at him and hissing, just to see the terror shoot across his expression, shortly followed by the expulsion of all liquids from his nether regions as fear gripped him so tightly he lost all control of his bodily functions.

"What do you say to the lady?" I growled at him, turning him roughly to face her. His fragile ankle snapped with the brusque movement. He pleaded for his life, promising me an array of things I didn't want, or have any need for.

The sole thing he had that I envied – humanity – he was squandering, foolishly.

"I'm sorry! Bree, I'm sorry! Make him stop! Please! I'll do anything! Bree! Tell him!" he begged uselessly.

The girl just sobbed harder. She was just as terrified of me as he was and didn't dare speak. I didn't blame her. Witnessing an angry vampire was not something she'd soon forget.

Pleased I'd served my purpose, I flung the dirtbag against the wall of the building opposite the girl. I heard several bones crunch. I could smell blood. It taunted my thirst. He was out cold but still alive. His heart still beat faintly.

The girl, Bree, screamed in terror as I stalked slowly across the dark alley toward him.

Just before I crossed her path, she called out to me, clearly scared out of her wits. "Pl-pl-please do – don't kkkill him. Pl-please," she stammered through sobs.

I stopped in my tracks, shocked she'd beg for his life to be spared.

I didn't usually talk to anyone during my hunts because it was too much of a liability, but this girl, Bella's doppelganger, made me want to comfort her, to assure her that everything would be okay.

I turned on her, probably less delicately than I should have, given the circumstances. "What? Why?" I snapped. "He's a monster. He was hurting you. He would have killed you without a second thought. How can you not want that kind of terrorizing influence removed from your life?"

She focused her Bella-like eyes on me. I looked away, unable to look at them and maintain my murderous train of thought.

"He's my brother," she muttered, more audible now that her sobs were waning. She was no longer worried I might kill her. She more worried about the man who had just attempted to end her life. "He doesn't mean what he does. He wasn't always like this. He's not a bad person." For someone strung out on a cocktail of mind-altering substances, she was surprisingly coherent.

I scoffed. I knew the kind of thoughts he harbored. This wasn't his first violent act, and I highly doubted it would be the last.

"That is debatable," I countered. "Do you have any idea the things that were going through his mind when he was hurting you?"

She chanced a defiant look in my direction. Despite her sloppy, wasted state, the resistance was a spark in her otherwise dull, beaten expression.

"No. You do?"

There was no harm in answering truthfully. She was so drugged, there was no hope of her ever being able to separate fact from fiction the next day.

"Yes. Your brother is a pathetic excuse for a human being… his thoughts delve into territory beyond despicable. Appalling is hardly a strong enough word to describe them. His death will be a service to society."

She shrugged, clutching her tiny halter top and crossing her arms around her torso protectively. Given the cool weather this time of year, she had to be freezing.

"It doesn't matter what he's thinking. He doesn't deserve to die. He has the potential for redemption, still. Who are you to decide who gets to live and who dies, anyway?"

I growled. I was thirsty. The smell of blood was like a siren song. Why the fuck was this girl so philosophical in her pathetic state of mind? And why didn't I have an answer for her?

"Because I'm a vampire, and I'm hungry and I need to eat _someone_, that's why," didn't sound like a good answer. It sounded… pathetic. I suddenly didn't feel quite so ravenously thirsty.

I'd always thought I'd been on the side of right. I'd thought that the women from whom I pried abusive men would be happier with the poisonous presence removed from their lives.

I'd never once asked, I'd made that assumption on their behalf. I'd been playing a twisted, uncompromising sort of God. I was just as abusive as those I was killing.

The thought of being as cruel and merciless as the men I'd been hunting for decades made me feel sick to my stomach.

"No one."

My voice sounded just as hollow as I felt.

Still feeling as if I were on the verge of expelling what little blood was left in my system, I turned and set off at a sprint. I would be nothing more than a blur in the dark to passing humans. If anyone were to catch sight of me, they'd assume I was a figment of their imagination.

It didn't take long to reach the city limits. I reached Forks and before I knew it, I was splayed in the little meadow that reminded me so much of Bella, harshly breathing in and out.

In the darkness, it looked different, empty. Breathing her scent, coupled with the sweetness of the wildflowers and grass reminded me that it was anything but cold and empty. It was full of memories and the best days of my life.

For a place I'd dreaded coming, the sleepy town of Forks had become more of a haven to me than I realized.

Perhaps that had more to do with who was living in it than the town itself.

As hungry as I had been – and still was, on a physiological level – Bella's scent nullified my thirst, immediately. I couldn't comprehend the thought of drinking from a human when I was surrounded by her. If I let myself follow my instincts, it would be her life lost, and that was unacceptable. So my hunger was reflexively squashed.

The very notion of trying to hunt humans, at all, made me feel sick. Bree's words thumped painfully in my head.

I'd always been teased by James and Victoria for having an overly large conscience for a vampire but this was ridiculous. I had to hunt to survive. If I couldn't hunt, I was effectively killing myself. I would have to get over this ridiculous mental block.

I had no idea what would happen to me if I didn't hunt for a prolonged period of time. I'd never gone much longer than a couple weeks without fresh blood. I already hunted much less than the average vampire, given my limited diet and stringent moral code.

If I were to make it any more stringent than it already was, there would be nothing left for me to hunt. I couldn't think of anything worse than lowlife criminals. Convicts who'd already had their chance at trial? Then, I wouldn't be playing God. I'd be doing the justice system a favour. But no, that would be an impossible undertaking; it would draw too much attention.

There was nothing else.

If I didn't hunt, would I even be able to be around Bella without being a danger to her? If I was hungry enough, anything was possible. I wouldn't hurt her purposely, but driven to the depths of hunger, I wasn't so sure my body would resist, even if my mind pleaded for her to be spared.

Could I return to hunting the way I used to if I was hungry enough? The thought of it still made me sick.

I thanked the powers that be I hadn't reached that low yet. I had a week until I would absolutely have to think about hunting again. For now, there was only one thing that could ease my troubled mind.

Bella.

I didn't care that it was one in the morning. I had to see her.

Seconds later, I was lifting the latch on her bedroom window, praying she wouldn't hear the disturbance. Given how soundly she'd slept in my arms, I doubted she would, but I wasn't about to chance getting caught sneaking into her room in the middle of the night.

Holding her window open carefully, I slipped into the room, closing it soundlessly behind me. I was instantly overwhelmed by the scent of her body, warmed by sleep. In the forest, her scent was a shadow of what it was in this room.

The remnants of my thirst compressed further down into me. I couldn't hurt her, especially not when she was sleeping so soundly, looking as innocent as an angel. Her dark hair was fanned across her pillow, her eyelids fluttering as she dreamed. Her lips parted as she breathed steadily.

She looked even more innocent than usual, almost child-like, as sleep rinsed all the frown lines and creases from her expression.

Sitting in the old wooden rocking chair in the corner of her room, watching her in that state was soothing. I longed to touch her, but didn't dare. I contented myself with watching.

All the rage and anger and confusion I'd felt in few hours since I'd been separated from her suddenly seemed distant. It was like the hours in between being with her ceased to have any meaning.

I sighed, rubbing my eyes tiredly, not wanting to think about my botched hunt or my sudden inability to feed. I was sick of thinking. James routinely accused me of overanalyzing. I had to admit, it seemed like there was some truth to that statement.

I wanted to turn my mind off and just be like every other normal person for once.

Watching Bella as she slept reminded me how much I missed sleeping. It seemed like such a silly thing to miss, when there were things like variety in the taste and texture of food and the possibility of change, growth, and having children to be missed. But I did.

After living with the constant noise of not only my own thoughts, but everyone else's, the concept of experiencing nothingness, even for a brief time, was pleasant.

I could live vicariously and get my rest through Bella. Watching her sleep had to be a close second to actual sleep.

The constant repetitious pattern of breathing in and out was predictable and easy. So unlike the Bella I knew during the daytime. Still the same soft, fragile body and the same bright mind, just turned off for a few hours.

I sat in the dark, watching her chest rise and fall in a continuous pattern, interrupted sporadically by a few muttered words. Most the time her mumblings were indistinguishable, but sometimes I could make out words.

_Grass. Sock. Bright. Beautiful._

I tried uselessly to string the disjointed words together, making a game of weaving together fictional dreams, imagining they were what she was seeing.

_Hippo. Summer. Sandwich._

Then…

_Edward._

My name. Her subconscious said my name.

I tried not to slip back into overanalyzing the meaning of the unconscious gesture and just enjoy that she was thinking of me, when she wasn't with me – that she knew of, anyway – but I couldn't help but wonder if it was a sign of some sort. I'd never been a big believer in fate, but just maybe… the universe was trying to tell me something.

As the early rays of morning began to peek over the horizon, I crept from her room as silently as I'd come.

xx

I lay in the wet grass, waiting, my eyes closed. I could hear and smell her approaching. The rain hindered my senses slightly, but not enough to drown her out. I was far too attuned to everything about her.

"Edward," she whispered, plodding toward me, the grass squelching under her feet.

"Bella." The smile when I said her name was automatic.

It was only too easy to forget everything else when she was around and concentrate on her. Last night's ordeal was miles away. Embry, Dr. Cullen, Bree, my inability to hunt… it was all distant.

Even though it was raining, quite heavily at that, she was here… just bundled up in rain gear. She had on a cute, teal raincoat with an oversized hood and rainbow-coloured rain boots.

I felt guilty for wanting to see her despite the rain, since it meant she might potentially catch a cold. Clearly she was prepared to fight against the weather, common as it was in the Pacific Northwest. Still, she probably didn't ordinarily spend long periods of time outside when it was pouring.

She settled into the soggy grass a few inches from me arranging her coat underneath her so she wasn't sitting in a puddle. She absently began tracing one of her fingers along one of my shoes, nervously drawing abstract patterns.

"So, um, I had an awesome time in Port Angeles, yesterday. That was so much fun."

I nodded, matching her enthusiasm. "It was. We should do it again, soon."

"I'd like that."

"Are you cold?" I asked, glancing around us at the falling rain. The clouds were dark and menacing. The change made the meadow more dark and shadowy than usual.

Bella's lips were still their usual pink, not the bloodless blue that I associated with cold, but I worried irrationally anyway.

"I'm fine. You worry too much. It rains here as much as it doesn't. The fact it's been so dry lately, is actually pretty unusual. Besides… the worst that'll happen is I'll catch a cold."

"I don't know," I teased, halfway serious, "I've heard humans also catch this little illness called pneumonia. I've also heard it's deadly."

"Humans? And what are you? A cyborg? You make it sound like I'm some fragile, susceptible thing. You're probably at more risk than I am. You're always freezing. Forget pneumonia. Get any colder and you'll have to start worrying about hypothermia. Or worse yet, hypothermia induced pneumonia."

I chuckled. "I'm fine. I haven't been sick in years."

She raised her chin in challenge. "Me neither. Well… I guess that depends on how you define sick. I've been to the hospital plenty, since I'm rather accident prone, as you might have noticed. I've had broken bones, cuts and scrapes that required plenty of stitches, vicodin, and even a cast or two… but yeah, not sick."

I laughed. It was so easy to do in her presence. I could probably count the number of times I'd laughed in twelve months prior to meeting Bella on one hand. "Does the hospital in Forks have a room specifically reserved for you?" I asked seriously. "Do you have a little plaque with your name on it?"

"Nope…" She frowned. "But they might have a whole drawer of a filing cabinet dedicated to my hospital records." She grinned as if proud of this fact.

"Wow. I might be impressed if I wasn't so horrified. You must be chummy with the hospital staff."

My stomach churned uncomfortably once I realized where I'd been unconsciously directing this conversation. A part of me wanted to press Bella for information about Dr. Cullen.

I knew it was wrong to use her in this way… but I had to know. If I was going to brave going to a hospital and being surrounded by mass quantities of blood, I had to know what I was getting myself into. Guilt prickled, but curiousity burned harder.

She shrugged. "In Phoenix the doctors were always different, whoever worked the nearest ER. Since coming to Forks, I've mostly dealt with Dr. Gerandy. He's a nice guy, but ancient. I'm surprised he's still allowed to practice. I've seen Dr. Cullen a few times, too. He's really nice, but a little strange. The nurses all know me by name, too."

"What's odd about Dr. Cullen?" I asked carefully, not wanting to arouse suspicion. I swore I could feel my palms sweating even though I knew it was impossible.

Her brow puckered as she considered the question. "He's reserved I guess? His bedside manner doesn't leave anything to be desired, really, but he seems almost detached? Not to say he doesn't care, or anything, because he's a great doctor. He set my leg last time I was in, like it was a cinch. It was as quick and easy as having a bone set ever is…"

None of that really told me anything about the man. He was a human doctor. Was he like the wolves… some kind of shape shifter?

"Why did you want to know?"

The truth was really the only good answer to this question. I shrugged, feigning nonchalance. It was better I downplay the seriousness of my desire to know. "Embry seemed to think I was related to him in some way. I was just curious."

She tilted her head… "Now that I think about it… you do kind of remind me of the Cullen kids, in weird way. I don't know what it is… I can't think of a common feature between all of you. Yesterday, when Embry said he thought you were one of the Cullens… I knew no one would mistake you for any of them so it seemed ridiculous. But, actually, you all do look a little alike. Not, like, physically, exactly… Alice is a tiny little thing with black hair. Rosalie, Jasper and Carlisle are tall and blonde, but distinct in their own ways. It's strange.. maybe it's a kind of aura you all put out? Now I sound like my mom. Except, I guess they all do have one thing in common. All three of them and Dr. Cullen have amber eyes. But yours are burgundy, so that doesn't make sense. I always thought it was strange they had the same eye colour, especially one so unusual. I wondered if that was the reason they were all adopted by Dr. Cullen and his wife. I know that sounds ridiculous…"

"It doesn't sound ridiculous," I countered, interrupting her rambling, my mind already reeling through the information. "Maybe Dr. Cullen and his wife just wanted kids who resembled him and his wife in some small way?"

I wondered if the amber eyes were indicative of some other mythical subspecies of human I'd yet to encounter. Sprites? Fairies? Gnomes? All of the above seemed ludicrous, but what else was there? They weren't vampires if they didn't have red eyes from drinking blood.

But that didn't rule out the possibility that they weren't typical humans. The wolves, by all appearances, were ordinary looking humans but most certainly a different species. If they were indeed not human Bella probably associated me with them because we shared an inhuman quality.

In the end, I was left with as many, if not more, unanswered questions than before. It was looking like I might have to pay Dr. Cullen a visit if I wanted any firm answers. I wasn't looking forward to trying to brave a hospital but with my newfound distaste for killing humans, perhaps it wouldn't be as big of an ordeal as I expected.

"Maybe," she agreed, looking me appraisingly, probably comparing me to the family of sprites slash fairies slash gnomes. For some inexplicable reason that annoyed me.

"Sorry I'm being so nosy." I smiled winningly.

She smiled back. "It's okay. You wouldn't be the first to wonder about the Cullens. They're a modern day legend around here. The enigma draws people in, I guess."

I wondered if that was part of why she was drawn to me. It was an upsetting thought. I wanted her to like me for me, not simply for the fact that I was a freak of nature.

I considered asking but Bella had already dropped the subject.

"I like the rain. There's something kind of romantic about sitting in the rain, don't you think?" she asked, her face tilted to look up into the sky. Her eyelashes were wet and dark, drops of water beading on them.

I nodded mutely.

Her eyes focused on mine, her expression unreadable. I felt warm under her gaze. This time she wasn't making comparisons, she was just… watching. I closed my eyes briefly, enjoying the sensation of her eyes on me and the soft falling rain.

The split second was all it took for her to start leaning towards me, her eyes focused on my lips.

I panicked, my hands shooting to her shoulders at an inhuman speed, gently holding them in place to prevent her lips from making contact with mine.

I almost leaned forward to close the distance myself, but my mind refused to let my body comply. I had vowed not to kiss her until she knew the truth. That was a promise I intended to keep. As desperately as I wanted to kiss her, that was a line I was unwilling to cross until she knew what she was getting herself into. Hearts could still be broken.

I could read the hurt in her eyes. I extended a flimsy smile, the only thing I had to offer that had any hope of erasing the damage done.

"I'm sorry, Bella."


	13. Delirious

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**_ _Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Thirteen; Delirious_

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN:**__ The usual thanks to everyone who reads, reviews, or otherwise contributes to this little fic, especially Jana who put up with my freaking out every step of this chapter :)_

_This is the first of several chapters a few of you have been waiting for. It's not quite as long as the last one, but pretty close. I hope it was worth the wait :) As always, I'd love to know what you think._

xx

It had been a week since Edward had turned me down. A long, hard, cold week.

After several dry weeks in Forks, the rain had returned full force. I welcomed the damp, bitter weather. It suited my mood just fine. I was mourning something I'd never really had to begin with.

I still saw Edward in the meadow just after three every day but something had shifted in our interactions. It might have been a product of my overactive imagination but swore that he no longer smiled at me in quite the same happy, innocent way he had before. He did his best to pretend nothing had happened but his laugh was just a little bit too forced and his eyes a little bit too tight. He was too guarded.

He was protecting himself from me, the idiot who had tried to take more than he was willing to give simply because it was what she wanted. I'd read too much into how he treated me that day in Port Angeles, desperate for him to care for me as much as I wanted him to.

I should've just asked him how he felt.

A vocal rejection would have hurt but it would have been tolerable. Anything would have been better than the stinging tears that had threatened to fall when he'd held me in gently place, refusing to even pretend that he wanted to kiss me.

Was I that repulsive?

Maybe if there had been some hesitation… if he'd waited just a few seconds, our lips could have done the talking and he could have seen that kissing me wasn't so bad and that maybe, just maybe, it was something he actually wanted. But it wasn't. And I knew it. And it sucked. A lot.

I glared out my classroom window at the rain splashing into the uneven, oil-slicked parking lot. My truck was situated right in the middle of a massive puddle. There was no way I would be getting into it without plodding through ankle deep water first.

I hated wet socks.

I was knocked rudely from my internal grumblings about almost everything under the non-existent-in-Forks sun by a balled up piece of paper hitting my shoulder.

I turned to see Jessica smirking at me from two chairs back. She nodded to the crumpled piece of paper that had bounced off my shoulder and onto the floor next to my desk.

With an irritated sigh I bent to pick it up. Hadn't this method of communication died in the late nineties with the invention and spread of the cellphone?

_What did the parking lot ever do to you? You've been glaring out the window like you want to stab something. BTW, by not answering Mr. Mason's questions, you're forcing the rest of us to pretend like we've read these stupid books._

Trust Jess to be observant at a time when I least wanted anyone paying attention to me.

_Nothing, Jess. The parking lot and I are on excellent terms. We always stop to say hi when we pass one another in the hallway_, I scrawled hurriedly, unable to resist sarcasm.

I'd answered her stupid question. I wasn't going to volunteer anymore than that. Crumpling the paper again, I kicked it in her direction. Of course it went flying towards Eric Yorkie, who sat in the chair to Jess's left.

Jess scoffed at my aim but managed to retrieve the paper, anyway. A minute later the paper was back under my desk.

_What's your problem? I'm just trying to help. You've been a total bitch lately. I was trying to offer you a shoulder to cry on or whatever. But if you don't want it, that's fine! _

So much for entertaining her with my wit. She seemed annoyed. Great. Unless I wanted the school gossip on my bad side, I'd have to pretend to be thankful for her interfering.

_Look, I appreciate the offer, Jess, it's just unnecessary. I've had a bad week. Thanks for trying._

Jess rolled her eyes as she read the message but didn't try to return the paper a third time.

The moment the bell rang, I sprinted out of the classroom towards the math building as quickly as my clumsy tendencies would allow, intent on avoiding a verbal intervention from Jessica. The notes were enough of Jessica to get me through the rest of the day and probably most of tomorrow, too.

In my haste to get away, I bumped into Alice. I bounced backward but managed to stay on my feet. I glanced at her apologetically, surprised to find her without Jasper.

"Crap, sorry Alice! I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. Is Jessica behind me, by any chance?" I winced, not daring to look for fear of confirming my suspicion that she had taken chase.

Alice stood on her toes to peek over my shoulder. "Nope, you're clear. She's going to head to the cafeteria. You'll be safe for the rest of lunch period."

I wiped a hand dramatically across my brow. "Thank God. I don't think I could tolerate any more of Jessica trying to play nurse."

Alice's expression scrunched in concern. "Are you all right? You don't look sick."

"I'm fine. I guess I should have said psychiatrist, not nurse. Jessica thinks my mood needs an overhaul."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Since when has anything Jessica thought been important?"

I shrugged. "She's right, though. I've had a crappy week and I can't seem to snap out of it."

Alice's eyes lightened, the corners of her lips upturning mischievously. "I might not have the psychiatry skills of Jessica Stanley but I do have a feeling that your day is going to improve. Just… do what feels right. Don't doubt yourself. If your intuition tells you that you should do something… do it. Don't question it. Trust me."

I stared at Alice, an unattractive open-mouthed expression gracing my face. "What does that even mean? That advice sounds like something out of a fortune cookie."

"It means that you should listen to Bella and tell everyone and everything else to shut up."

I had no clue what to make of Alice's advice. Listen to myself? I didn't have anything important to say, I thought cynically. Last time I'd listened to myself, I'd tried to kiss Edward and had had a little piece of my heart crushed.

The rest of the day slogged by, the little black rain cloud that plagued the space above my head following diligently. By the time I got home from school – with wet socks, just as I'd predicted – I was no less confused.

I trudged up to my room, my wet shoes squelching. Kicking off my soaked through clothing, I quickly changed into something warm and dry before pulling on fresh socks. Wet or not, bad mood or not, Edward and I had a silent agreement I wasn't planning to disregard. I'd learned my lesson about the perils of bad communication the last time I'd tried brushing him off.

I was pulling on my raincoat when my cell phone started ringing, Jacob's face lighting up on the display.

As I'd promised Embry I would in Port Angeles, I'd called Jacob. Since then, we'd exchanged a couple short calls. I still hadn't seen him since the schoolyard incident with Alice. Remembering Alice's enigmatic advice to listen to my intuition, I pressed the accept call button. Ignoring Jake wouldn't help either of us get over this rough patch in our friendship. Edward could wait a few minutes.

"Hey Jake. What's up?" I answered, holding the phone between my ear and shoulder so I could pull on my rain boots.

His voice was tentative. "You aren't still mad at me, are you?"

"No," I said hesitantly. What kind of way was that to start a conversation?

"Good, because, um, I was hoping we could put this whole avoiding one another thing behind us and hang out tomorrow. My dad set up this Quileute campfire thingy to expose the younger generations to our history… you know the legends about werewolves and all that? Have you ever heard them? They're interesting."

I laughed. "No, I haven't. But you think they're 'interesting,' do you? I happen to remember you saying that you thought they were a load of superstitious bullshit not worth the time and energy it takes to tell them."

"That was before they happened to me," he said sheepishly. "When you know all the stupid myths aren't so stupid after all it makes you see them in a differently. I thought you might be interested in hearing them now, straight from the elders since you used to bother me about them and all."

I smiled, pleased that Jake had remembered my interest in his tribe's history. I'd always been fascinated with all sorts of mythology; I had once assumed it was related to my love of fiction.

"That sounds fun."

"Okay great. You want to hang out first? The guys and I are going to make a day of it and go hiking to see some of the old tribal cave artwork just off the rez. Dad said it's cool if we skip our last few classes of the day since it's 'educational.' I know how you are about school, though, so you can always meet us when you're out?"

I bit my lip. It would mean no Edward tomorrow. I didn't want it to seem like I was avoiding him but maybe a little distance from him was what I needed. I'd been living and breathing Edward for a month, since the moment I'd met him. Perhaps a day away from any reminders of him was exactly what I needed to forget my stupid feelings for him. Besides, I rationalized, it wasn't like I'd be avoiding him if I gave him advance warning.

"Yeah okay," I agreed. "I'll call you tomorrow after school for directions, okay?"

xx

"Are you all right?"

I nodded robotically in response to Edward's concern. "You're the fifth person who's asked me that this week and the fifth person who has been told I'm fine."

I hugged my knees to my chest, wanting the interrogation about my well-being to be done with.

He glanced at my defensive posture, doubt and concern written all over his face.

"If you're fine, then why have so many people been wondering about your state of mind?"

I shrugged.

"I'm not trying to be intrusive, Bella, but you're worrying me. You're always so bright and you always have something to say. Is it something I said or did?" His voice was small, verging on timid.

"No," I said quickly. I didn't like lying, but I didn't want him to feel responsible for my stupidity. It wasn't his fault I'd tried to push our relationship too far.

His eyes were downcast and closed off. I knew I was hurting him with my inability to voice how I was feeling but I was hurt, too. I wasn't ready to put myself out there again. I needed a little recovery time to sit back and lick my wounds.

I attempted a smile. My meager effort was met with a beaming smile, which, coincidentally, made me feel a little better.

"I've just had a lot on my mind recently. Please don't let my crappy mood make you feel crappy too. You being happy makes me happy."

"Then I can assure you, I'll do everything in my power to be happy. I don't like to see you wallowing in gloom. Your smile could light up this town. Have you considered that the reason Forks has been so grey and depressing lately is because of you?" he teased gently.

"Doubtful," I countered, though I liked hearing him describe my smile as bright. That sounded complimentary. Maybe he didn't think I was the most repulsive thing ever to walk the earth. "Forks is usually grey."

"I'm not so sure. I really think this might be the answer. Allow me to test my hypothesis, please."

I quirked a brow. "Are we involved in a biology experiment I didn't know about?"

"Well, now that you mention it, the scientific method would be fitting in this case. Step one: ask a question. We've completed this. Why has the weather been so dismal in Forks lately?"

"Step two: do preliminary research," I listed the second step in the scientific method.

"Also done. I noted that since you've been upset the past week, the weather has been acting in conjunction. Which brings us to step three, forming a hypothesis. My hypothesis is that you control the weather with your moods."

I nodded, amused by his logical approach to everything. It was so Edward. "Step four: test hypothesis with an experiment," I quoted.

Edward's eyes sparkled mischievously. "I'm going to have to make you laugh and see if the weather reacts accordingly."

I carefully kept a straight-face, not wanting to ruin the "experiment" Edward was so meticulously conducting, even if I was the primary subject. "Okay, and how do you propose we do that?"

His lips twisted into a crooked smirk. "That is an awfully difficult thing to do, I must admit, however, I have an ideal solution: tickling."

There was no need to fake a straight face now; the mention of tickling sobered me immediately. "No way. Don't even think about it, Edward. Tickling is evil. It's the devil's work. I hate–"

It was too late. Edward and his beautifully long fingers had already descended upon me, nudging into my sides. I couldn't help it. I laughed, until my face was red and my eyes were scrunched so tightly a few tears escaped. I could hardly breathe through the giggles.

"Edward," I said warningly once he had finally pulled away and I could breathe again. My breathlessness and pink cheeks probably left the threat feeling empty but it was the thought that counted.

"I'm sorry, but admit it, you feel a better now, don't you? 'Laughter is the best medicine,' is the way the saying goes, isn't it?"

"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled dismissively, not about to admit he was right, even though he was.

"And by the way, in the interest of being thorough and completing my scientific endeavour… I have confirmed my hypothesis. While you were writhing around in the grass in hysterics, a ray of sun peeped through the clouds confirming that you do, in fact, have fantastical weather controlling moods."

"It did not!"

"It did. You just weren't paying attention. I was. I'm very observant, Ms. Swan. And that completes the scientific method: step five, analyze results and draw conclusions."

"You forgot step six: report results," I countered. "I'd love to see you draft that wacky experiment up on paper and see what a respected professional thinks of your so-called science."

Edward pouted adorably, his full lips twisting into an attractive frown. "You enjoy sucking all the fun out of things, don't you? And won't you look at that, the sky is grey again."

"Haha," I deadpanned, shoving his solid shoulder. Predictably, he didn't budge an inch. "If that's the way you conduct yourself in a science classroom, I have to admit I'm glad you're not my partner in biology."

He beamed. "You would love it if I was in your class, don't lie." He was right. I'd love nothing more than to have him come to school with me every day. "With my intelligence and your looks, we'd rule the school."

I had to laugh at that comment and the way it was stated so straight-forwardly that it was apparent he truly believed what he was saying.

"I think you got that one backwards," I corrected. "I'm a plain Jane and you're an Adonis handcrafted by God, whereas I'm awesomely smart and your worldly knowledge is subpar at best."

"Would it be too much to suggest we're both attractive and brilliant?" he joked.

"It might seem a tad immodest."

"It's not immodest if it's the truth," he replied, smiling directly into my eyes. My heart flopped erratically, protesting under the warm intensity of his gaze. I looked down, reminding myself not to repeat my stupidity from last week.

"Oh, um, hey, there was something I wanted to tell you," I blurted out. "Tomorrow I'm going to be hanging out on the La Push rez. They're having a campfire to share their histories and Jake – my father's best friend's son – invited me, and I said I'd come. So I won't be able to hang out after school."

That had been harder to say than I had expected. I knew, realistically, he shouldn't be upset – it was only normal for us to have other friends we needed to dedicate time to – but I was wary of hurting him, anyway. He was new in town and home-schooled. He didn't have the opportunity to make friends like I did.

"Oh." The single syllable seemed to be infused with more meaning than I was able to gather in the moment it took him to say.

He sounded upset, distressed, worried, confused – all emotional downers. I didn't detect any anger in the mix, which only made me feel worse. I wanted him to yell at me and tell me I couldn't leave him to fend for himself with next to no warning. It was ridiculous. He'd probably hardly notice I was gone. What was a day in the grand scheme of life, anyway?

"So, yeah, sorry for not telling you earlier, but I just got the call today."

"Bella, it's fine. You don't need to be so apologetic. I want you to have fun with your friends. Make the most of the human experience while you have the opportunity to do so."

I nodded stiffly. "Okay, thanks. I will. Promise me that you won't miss me too much?" I teased, trying to lighten the atmosphere a bit.

"I won't make you any promises that I can't keep," he replied solemnly.

xx

"Okay, jeez! I'm almost there. I've been on La Push Road for ten minutes, now. I've got to be almost there. I'm going slowly so I don't drive right past you. Grow some patience, would you, Jake?" I growled at the impatient werewolf on the other end of the line.

I'd been on the line with Jake for the past ten minutes, trying to figure out exactly where off of La Push Road they were hiking and blatantly ignoring my father's warnings against the dangers of "talking and driving." It was a necessity since the road was one big long trek through wooded areas, all of which looked exactly the same.

Jake told me I should be able to recognize Paul's beat up old Toyota Corolla. How the pack of oafs that I called my friends had all fit in that tiny little thing, I'd never know. I imagined a lot of knees, elbows and other body parts poking in unfortunate places.

"Chill out, would you? We're supposed to be having fun. I told you I'll let you know when I see you, so cool it. I won't let you drive by."

"Yeah," I grumbled, "but that means I have to stay on the line with you the whole time. I'm getting a little sick of your voice, Jake."

"Haha. Come on, you know you've missed me. As much as I annoy you, you love me. And you're like a sponge for weird historical crap, so you wouldn't miss this, even if it means you have to deal with me for hours. You're gonna love the caves by the way. They're creeptastic. Just up your alley."

"Wow, Jake, I love your dismissal of my interests as weird _and_ creeptastic. Why exactly am I talking to you again?"

"Hey! I think I just saw your truck! Unless a really freaky, oddly-shaped, red moose happened to be passing by."

I snorted at Jacob's description of my truck, but slowed, peering in the rearview mirror. Sure enough, just behind me was Paul's ugly brown corolla parked off of the shoulder. The thing virtually blended in with the decaying trees it was parked in front of. Good thing Jake had been paying attention because I doubted I would have spotted it.

"Yeah, I see Paul's car. I'm parking now. I'll seeya in a minute." Jake's affirmative response barely had a chance to register before I disconnected the call.

Checking to make sure no one was coming behind me, I reversed, parking behind the corolla, just as Jake ran up, emerging from a barely visible hiking trail. The sight of the obscured path made me wonder what Edward was doing. Was he in the meadow without me?

He grinned at me widely, happy to see me. "You made it! Finally. Come on," he said, grabbing my hand, his skin hot to the touch, "the guys hiked up a bit and left me behind to get you. We've gotta catch up."

"You know that you're bringing me along, right?" I joked. "We're more likely to fall behind further than to gain any ground."

Jake shrugged. "The guys said they'd keep it slow. Besides, all the trails lead back this way, so we'll find them one way or another. The guys are on trail C, where the caves are."

Sure enough, within a couple minutes, Jake and I caught a flash of a bright colour that had no place in the woods of Washington State.

"I see Embry's shirt," Jake commented, noticing the same thing I was. "What kind of lame-ass wears a bright yellow shirt on a nature hike, anyway? Aren't you supposed to try and blend in with your surroundings to optimize animal sightings and shit?"

"The kind who's acting as a helpful guide to his lagging friends," I countered. "Think of him as Hanzel, but without the bread crumbs."

Jake rolled his eyes. "You and your literary references."

I laughed. "I hardly think Hanzel and Gretel is above your head, Jake. Most five-year-olds would get that one."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it, didn't I? Let's just hope there's no one planning on eating us at the end of the trail," he grumbled, shooting an undecipherable look at me, before abruptly turning to holler at his friends. "Hey, guys! I've found Bella! Wait up!" He presented me to his friends, like he had done some great honour for them all by retrieving me.

I was greeted by a cacophony of welcomes from Jared, Paul and Embry. Sam, they explained, had opted out of the excursion because his fiance, Emily, was having a difficult time with her pregnancy and needed him at home.

"You caught up just in time!" Jared said brightly. "We're only a minute away from the caves. Has Jake ever shown them to you before? They're pretty fucking cool!"

"Nope. Jacob has never indulged my desire to see anything historical whatsoever. His idea of showing me a good time is letting me hang out in his garage and pass him whatever wrench he needs next," I teased, shoulder bumping Jake, who rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

"Dude," Paul laughed, "Way to show a lady a good time. You should write a book on your methods. I'm sure it'd be an instant bestseller."

"And you know how much Bella loves books," Embry chimed in. "Imagine the impression you'd make as Jacob Black, New York Times bestselling author?"

"Shut up," Jacob growled, a slight flush rising through the deep tones of his russet skin. "Look, the fucking caves are right there. If you want to talk about getting all educational and shit, let's go see some art."

Paul laughed and slapped Jacob on the back brusquely. "Nice diversion, Romeo."

I squeezed his forearm consolingly, even though my hand barely spanned half its circumference. Despite the effort to soothe him, his muscles remained tense.

The others surged forward to go examine the caves they'd probably seen dozens of times. Even though they were a new experience for me, Jake was radiating unhappiness. I wasn't going to let him stew in it, so I lingered behind with him.

"Don't let them get to you, Jake. You know you're rising to the bait."

"I know," he sighed, making an effort to unball his fists. "It's just easy for them to say. Most of them have already found their soulmates. Soulmates who adore them, with no effort on their part. I'm hanging out here on a limb, still. What if I never find mine? What if I need to actually work at finding love because it won't happen for me otherwise? I don't want to hang all my hopes on imprinting."

I shrugged, sitting on a fallen log next to the tree Jacob was leaning against. "Life's unfair, you know? Sometimes the things we want don't come easy."

He snickered. "Right. I think you owe royalties to some cheesy romcom for stealing their lines, Swan."

"I wouldn't have to quote lame chick flicks to try to cheer you up if you'd stop being such a downer, and come ooh and ahh at ancient cave paintings with me like the rest of your friends."

"Yeah, okay, come on," he pulled me up from the log like I was nothing more than a twig and dragged me into the caves the others had already infiltrated with their rowdy laughter.

The paintings were covered by Plexiglas shields screwed to the rock facings, though I couldn't imagine why anyone would try to damage them. They were gorgeous and much more intricate than I would have thought possible given the artists' canvas was made of stone. They were surprisingly well preserved for art created a couple thousand years ago.

"Wow, you guys," I murmured, tracing an elaborate depiction of a howling wolf through the plastic barrier. It was surprisingly realistic given the tools that had been at the disposal of the artist. "These are so amazing. I don't know why I was expecting something more… primitive. These should be on display in a museum somewhere."

"Yeah, kinda hard to lug a big slab of rock around, though. The elders don't really want them removed, anyway. They think it ruins the experience of them, if they're not viewed in context," Jacob explained. "So they just slapped a 'historical site' label on the area, made it part of a nature trail and put up some signage to explain the history behind them."

Noticing where my attention was directed, he added, "Supposedly, that's Kaheleha. He was the first of the great Spirit Chiefs. He was the first to harness the power within our blood that links us to the wolves. Dad'll probably mention him tonight when we're at the campfire."

He pointed to another piece, a much larger portrait of a rust coloured wolf. "And this is Taha Aki. He looks kinda like I do in my wolf form. He was the last of the great spirit warriors and also a chief. His legend is also one of Dad's favourites."

"Oh yeah," Paul butted in, "Chief Black loves telling everyone about the Cold Lady. I swear, he warns anyone who'll listen."

"And this over here is an old-school canoe." Embry explained, jabbing a finger at another image. "They used to make these things out of birch bark and sap. Who knew that shit would hold up in water, right? Canoes are kinda important to Quileute history, too. Supposedly the Quileute used to bury their dead in canoes as a symbol of their passage into the next life."

"Do you even know how to paddle a canoe?" I teased.

"Of course," Embry joked back, "what kind of Quileute do you think I am? I might not be able to construct a canoe out of paper and maple syrup, but I do have some native pride!"

"Ya know," Jared commented, "once on an episode of Mythbusters they made a working boat out of wire and duct tape."

"You're a dork, just for knowing that," Paul countered. "Why the hell would anyone waste their time doing that, let alone film a TV show about it?"

"Um, because it's awesome," Embry countered defending his friend. "I saw that episode, it was pretty fucking cool."

I laughed. Being around Paul, Jared, Embry and Jake was like hanging around a bunch of annoying brothers. I was touched by their desire to include me and share their tribe's history with me.

"This is all so cool. Thanks for sharing this with me, Jake. I know you didn't have to include me in all this tribal business."

Jake shrugged. "I wanted to and my dad was all for it. He loves the tribe like nothing else and he loves it when people take an interest in our stories. You've probably taken more of an interest than all of us combined."

Paul scoffed. "Like that's such a hard thing to do. Bella bean is probably just too nice to tell us to shut the fuck up about it, so she comes off as interested."

"No," I protested, "it's really fascinating. You guys take it for granted. Do you have any idea how freaking cool it is that you guys are actual real life 'spirit warriors?' That doesn't happen to everyone. Someone could write a book about you guys. My life is barely exciting enough for my own journal."

"Yeah, we are pretty awesome," Paul said smugly. "Did Jakey ever tell you why our tribe needs spirit warriors? The Chief doesn't want outsiders knowing too much about us, but I think that kind of went out the window, in your case, when Jake transformed in front of you last year."

Jake growled, his eyes shooting lasers in Paul's direction.

"No," I admitted. It seemed strange to me that I'd never asked why my friends were werewolves, but I hadn't. I suppose I'd never considered that they needed a reason to be. I'd always assumed they simply were.

Paul tapped one of the diagrams on the wall; it was a picture of a tall, pale woman with crimson eyes and clawed hands, dressed in lush black robes. She didn't look like anything I'd associate with the Quileute boys.

"This is the Cold Lady. She gets her name because her skin is cold as ice. She's a pure evil, bloodsucker. That's not all she'll take from you. Given the chance, she'll suck your soul from you without a second thought. There are lots of them; the Cold Ones. Werewolves are their only known predator, though they're dangerous to us as well. Anyway, according to legend, when they're near, the magic of the spirit warriors that has been passed down through our bloodlines is reawakened in the most recent generation."

Jake frowned, his brows furrowing deeply. "Usually only two or three warriors emerge in an active generation. But we've already got a pack of five, and others are showing preliminary signs of transformation as well. It's distressing and suggests more of our enemies are close than we'd like."

I shook my head, slightly bewildered by the fantasy world that surrounded me… only it wasn't fantasy at all. It was mind-bogglingly real.

I blinked several times as I stared at the drawing of the Cold Lady, trying to make sense of it all.

"And here I thought you guys were just gonna show me some pretty pictures on walls and then we'd eat marshmallows around a campfire while Billy told cool stories. I think I need a break from Quileute stuff. My brain is still trying to wrap itself around this new information."

"Yeah, okay, why don't we head back to the trails?" Embry suggested. "We were planning to go hiking, anyway. We just made a stop to appease the chief's educational requirements."

Sparing a last glance at the paintings, I turned to follow Jake out of the slightly darkened crevice into the afternoon light. We fell into step together a few paces behind the others, who were in the midst of play-fighting over God-knows what. I could make out a few words… something about a stench. An imaginary one, I supposed, because I couldn't smell a thing.

"So…" I hummed, my mind too full to think of a better conversation starter.

"So," Jake repeated, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. His face was twisted into an uncomfortable mask of curiosity and desperation. "Did, um, anything Paul said in there remind you of something?"

It was clear he was looking for a specific answer but I had no idea what it was.

I shook my head. "No? Why would it?"

"Think, Bella, please. It's important. I can't say it myself. Not without creating more problems. I need you to think, hard. Did the legends mean anything to you?"

Jake's irritated tone was starting to grate on my nerves but I forced my response to remain neutral, not wanting to inadvertently start another fight. Not when we were on the cusp of recovering from a previous one.

"I'm sorry that this is troubling you but I have no idea what you're talking about. The cave paintings? Why would they remind _me_ of anything? It's your history, not mine."

He let loose a frustrated growl. "Bella, be serious please. This isn't a game. It's real. For all of us. It's life and death we're talking about."

"I _am_ being serious, Jacob," I growled back. "I have no freaking clue what you're going on about! Maybe if you would stop talking in circles, I'd have a better chance of actually understanding whatever the hell it is that you're trying to say!"

"I just told you," he snapped, "I can't tell you! Sam made sure I couldn't say anything to you. Alpha's orders have to be followed. So when I say I can't, I really can't! It's not that I don't want to! It's that I can't. So you're going to have to think harder! This is on you, not me."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "This is just like you. Always whining about how unfair everything is without putting any effort in yourself. It's not my fault I can't make sense of your stupid hints. If you want me to solve whatever puzzle you're trying to force feed me, give me some clue what you're talking about. Surely you can do that?"

Jacob smashed his fist against a nearby tree trunk, irate. "I'm trying to tell you something that's crucial to both of our lives! I don't need your sarcasm!"

"Well, maybe I don't need your mind games!" I countered. "Is it so much to ask for a friend who won't pick a fight with me every time I see him?"

Jacob scoffed. "I don't think anyone would trust your taste in friends, Isabella. The people you've been hanging out with lately leave a fucking lot to be desired. Alice Cullen? Edward Masen? You know nothing about them! They're a couple of soulless leeches!"

I took a deep breath in an effort to calm myself. Jacob was not helping his case by insulting my friends. People whom he hardly knew, at that. Where did he get off insulting Edward and Alice because he was mad at me?

"What are you talking about?" I gritted out.

"That's right. I know you spend all your afternoons with Edward Masen. Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about," he griped, eyeing my jacket distastefully. "You reek of them."

I didn't know whether I was mad, defeated or insulted. I did, however, know that I was done squabbling with someone who clearly wasn't interested in listening to anything I had to say.

"You know what, Jacob, I'm done talking to you. First you act like I'm an idiot for not playing along with your word games, then you insult my friends and now you're telling me I smell? Well you can go to hell, too! I'm going home. Tell Billy I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the campfire. Call me when you grow the hell up!"

I turned on my heel but not before I caught his expression crumpling in remorse.

Our raised voices had drawn the attention of the others, whom had moved to stand a few paces behind Jacob. The four of them standing in a row looked like a defensive line on a nonexistent football field. I'd only taken a couple steps when Jacob called my name, a pitiful note of apology in it. I tuned him out, not wanting to hear it and fall victim to the sad puppy voice.

Paul wisely suggested he shut the fuck up and leave me alone because there was no arguing with a woman scorned until at least twenty-four hours after the scorn-inducing incident. I think he meant it as a joke. I hoped Jacob took him seriously. He'd be lucky if I was ready to listen to him again in twenty-four hours.

I stumbled back in the direction we'd come from, quickly putting the boys behind me. It wasn't long before they were obscured from sight by trees, the low sounds of their voices disappearing.

It was eerie being alone in a strange forest. It didn't feel like home the way the meadow did. Nothing on the pathway was familiar to me but then I hadn't been paying much attention on the way to the caves, either. Jake had distracted me with his chatter.

I hoped I was heading in the right direction. I didn't think I could stand getting lost in the woods overnight. Just the thought of being here after dark was terrifying.

In retrospect, I probably should have been paying better attention to where I was going. Half of my mind was still reeling from the stupid fight with Jacob and trying to decipher whatever it was that had gotten him so stressed out. He had said he couldn't tell me because Sam had ordered him not to, so it had to be important enough to impose a strict gag order.

He had also specifically asked if anything _Paul_ had said was significant to me. What legends exactly had Paul been the one to explain? They were all blurring together, mythical tales of spirit warriors and wolves. I remembered Jake had mentioned the spirit warrior chiefs – he had pointed out the fur coat of one of them resembled his… Jared and Embry mentioned the canoes, because they'd brought up the merits of the Mythbusters' duct tape canoe… Then Paul had mentioned the Cold Lady.

What did I know about the fantastical blood-sucking enemies of the Quileute? I'd never met a vampire in my life. Unless he was asking me to think about books I'd read? In Port Angeles, with Edward, I'd been reading Dracula… was that related somehow?

Mind-deep in my speculations, I somehow managed to trip on an exposed tree root and tumble head-first down the short incline on the uneven path.

My hands reflexively moved forward to catch my fall. A surreal moment that felt both excessively fast and excessively slow passed. Next thing I knew I was lying at the bottom of the small hill, my forearm positioned at an odd angle from my body.

It was pretty clear to me I'd broken it. That wasn't what alarmed me. I could smell the salty, coppery tang of blood, seeping from my arm. I felt my stomach clench and my vision turn hazy, my body revolting, even as I fought to remain conscious.

To make matters worse, I wasn't sure whether I was still on the path the boys were. It didn't seem possible that I could have wandered off the trail completely and into the thicker underbrush but I didn't recognize where I was. I was certain we'd never gone up an incline on the way to the caves. Had I wandered down one of the off-shooting trails by mistake?

When Jacob and the others found my truck, they'd come looking for me, but would it be soon enough? With that thought, my body won its quest for blackness.

xx

An agonizingly long stretch of time seemed to pass in the darkness before I was able to, by sheer force of will, force my eyes open. My body seemed detached from my mind.

The world around me was blurred, the trees nothing more than a myriad of green and brown.

It took me a moment to realize that my sight wasn't impaired because I was feeling dizzy.

It was because I was moving.

Fast.

Inhumanly fast.

Except it didn't feel like I was running.

Or dreaming for that matter.

My dreams were less… achy.

Something cold and solid was holding me.

It cradled me, considerate of my pain, as it pushed forward at breakneck speed.

My head felt heavy and hollow trying to process the simple thought. I wanted out of my own skin. I wanted my mind to function right.

I raised my head slowly, to minimize the pain movement brought.

I was met with concerned burgundy.

Eyes.

Burgundy eyes.

Red tinted irises.

Cold hands.

Like the Cold Lady.

"Edward," I murmured.

"You're safe."

Content that I was, the black returned.


	14. Frantic

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Fourteen; Frantic_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_**AN:**__ A short chapter, but an important one in many ways. This is another of the chapters I've been picturing since this story started beating down the doors of my brain. Hope it's what I imagined it would be. Thank you, as always, to everyone who has helped or offered encouragement and stuck with this story along the way :) We're finally into the heart of it._

xx

"Shit!"

"Why hello, Edward. It's so nice to see you, too. Someone's touchy tonight," a gleeful voice sing-songed.

I should have known better than to expect I could sneak past a pair of vampires unnoticed.

I looked up to find James leaning against the kitchen counter, nonchalantly. The doorknob I was still clutching behind my back twisted beneath the crush of my fingers. I did not want to have to deal with his fucked up questioning tonight.

Every night of the last week, since my hunting fiasco, I'd spent my nights in Bella's bedroom, hovering at her bedside, watching her sleep. Each night I told myself to stay away, aware of the danger my mounting thirst posed to her, but each and every night I found myself kneeling beside her bed like a man reciting his nightly prayers.

Though I'd changed my clothes after my most recent visit, I hadn't showered, so there was a chance he'd smell Bella on me. I hoped my own scent would distort it enough that James wouldn't take notice.

Thankfully, he seemed more intent on annoying me tonight than being as observant as he was capable of being.

"What do you want, James?"

He widened his eyes innocently. A gesture that was comical given his history. Innocent was the last word in the English language anyone would willingly choose to describe him.

"Nothing. I just happened to be passing by the kitchen and heard you about to enter through the back door like some kind of common criminal. I thought you were a thief. I was preparing for breakfast." He held up a knife and fork, playfully. "You know I don't deal with intrusions on my personal space very well. I guess we have something in common."

"James, there's a huge fucking glass panel in the door. Either you knew it was me or you're legally blind. Know any good vampire eye doctors?" I stated, sarcasm seeping into my tone.

James shook his head in disappointment at my antics, his eyes sparkling with amusement. He loved stringing me along with his stupid games. I scowled, a growl rumbling in my chest.

"Okay I saw you," he admitted. "I was waiting for you."

"So much for you valuing personal space," I mumbled.

He ignored my insolent comment. "You're never fucking here anymore and I have something important to tell you."

"I'm listening."

"Victoria and I have decided that we want to stay in Forks a little longer than originally planned. Vicky's really enjoying the taste of the locals. We know you're probably eager to leave so we're willing to let you move ahead. We'll follow in a few weeks."

I shifted uncomfortably. "Actually… I've been enjoying the Seattle area. I don't mind staying as long as you and Victoria would like."

His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You are? Then how come you've stopped hunting? You haven't come home smelling like blood in almost two weeks. Your eyes are almost black."

"I'm biding my time. There are only so many people worth hunting," I lied, "I like to save the ones who smell the best for when I can really savour them."

The truth was, in the past, I probably had hunted weekly or very close to it. Since my botched attempt at hunting in the alleys of Seattle last week, I simply hadn't had the same urge to taste blood. I was vaguely aware of the constant burn in my throat, but it seemed dulled compared to how it usually felt after a dozen days without fresh blood. Simply hearing the words "blood" or "hunting" acted as appetite suppressants. I wasn't sure if I would be able to keep down any nutrition, even if I forced myself to hunt. The thought of slowly withering due to malnutrition was equally unappealing. I knew I'd have to get over my aversion sooner rather than later.

"Yeah, whatever. You look starved, dude. Who the fuck cares if they'll taste better when you're thirstier? You're fucking thirsty now."

"I wouldn't expect you to understand. Are we done now?" I didn't wait for him to answer; I was already making a beeline for the bathroom, intent on showering away any remnants of Bella's scent.

"I am," he called after me. "Vic wants to talk to you, though. I wouldn't keep her waiting too long. You know how she gets…"

I mumbled in acknowledgement, shutting the door behind me. A huge weight felt as if it had been lifted off my chest when I heard James puttering around in the next room like nothing had happened. It was a minor miracle he'd not yet discovered my attachment to Bella considering my sloppiness.

I made a note to travel to my rented room in Seattle to shower before coming home from now on, even if it meant an hour long detour. It wasn't like I was desperate to enjoy James' company each night. Spending time with him and Victoria in order to ward off their suspicions was important but it was a lower priority than keeping Bella's scent away from them. I despised the balancing act of trying to compartmentalize my life but it was necessary.

I took my time washing myself, using copious amounts of the strawberry scented shower gel I'd stocked up on for the sole purpose of masking Bella's scent. It was synthetic and not nearly as appealing as Bella's sweet, fresh smell but it served its function. The nauseatingly artificial scent of it gave me something to focus on aside from my constantly growing hunger.

By the time I stepped out of the shower and dressed, Victoria was sitting in the family room of our cabin waiting for me, the toe of one of her monstrously tall stiletto heels tapping rhythmically against the hardwood.

"Edward, sweetheart, come have a seat," she intoned smoothly, her high voice falsely deepened; probably a tactic to put me at ease for whatever she had planned.

I wasn't stupid, I knew Victoria was every bit as manipulative as James, she was just more subtle in her methods. I had an inkling that she actually did care for me on some level but that didn't stop the manipulation. I sighed internally. I was hungry and tired and not in the mood for trying to figure out her mind games.

I sat down on the opposite end of the sofa, mentally bracing myself.

"I care about you, and view you as a meaningful part of our coven. You know that, don't you?"

I nodded silently. There was nothing else for me to add.

"You think that James and I have been fair to you, don't you? We've treated you well and served as dutiful coven mates should, haven't we?"

There was no short answer to this question, so I answered with what she wanted to hear. "Of course."

She patted my chest affectionately, her long nails scraping at my sweater. "Okay, good. It's come to my attention that there are other vampires in the area. What with you being gone so much and your new affinity for… scented bath products…" She wrinkled her nose at the artificial strawberry scent I carried from my recent shower. "I wondered if you weren't trying to… hide something from me or James."

I shook my head, a cold shot of adrenaline pulsing through my body. All this time I'd been worried about James' tracking abilities. I'd never considered Victoria had her own talents. With her talent from self-preservation came a knack for being extremely perceptive. I wasn't going to reveal anything significant until she did so first.

"That's ridiculous, Victoria," I countered airily, more than slightly relieved that she was stirring up a fuss over loyalty and was still in the dark in regards to my dalliances with Bella. "I've not met any other vampires during our time in Forks. I've come across an unknown vampire scent or two in the woods, but I figured it was left by other nomads. I assure you that my loyalties lie with you and James, as they always have."

She continued, not acknowledging my words. "James is more naïve than I am. He thinks you owe us a debt because we've allowed you to travel with us. He doesn't recognize that your gift makes you a valuable asset to any coven. You might not know very much about the west coast covens, since we've spent most of your life further east but they're very competitive. Not unlike the southern covens, they covet talented vampires. I don't want to see you get caught up in another coven looking to steal you away for your gift."

"Victoria, I read thoughts. I know sincerity when I see it. I assure you that I have no plans to leave at the present time, nor have any offers been extended to me. That is not a decision I would take lightly. You know our species is not so susceptible to change that we are moved by the mere power of suggestion."

"Now don't be foolish, Edward," she scolded. "Your gift is extraordinary, but you can't let it be your sole judge of character. It's not a lie detector. One's mind does not always reveal his or her true intentions if he or she is a capable liar."

I smiled tightly. "I appreciate your concern. I assure you that I can fend for myself."

"I know you can," she soothed, her tone soft and slippery like silk. "It's the others I don't trust."

xx

I sat amongst the branches of a thick maple, bored.

I had taken it upon myself to be Bella's guardian for the day. She had informed me yesterday afternoon that she would be spending the day with the La Push boys. While I held no personal vendetta against them, they were a bunch of pseudo-werewolves. There was no way in hell I was going to let Bella walk amongst the pack of them without someone to watch over the mutts on her behalf.

From what I had gathered, they respected human life and were old enough to have mastered controlling their wolf impulses. Embry had shown remarkable restraint when faced with me in the bookstore, even if it was partly due to the influence of his alpha. Restraint aside, they still had animalistic inclinations. That meant there was no way in hell they were to be trusted around my brown-eyed girl unsupervised.

Aside from the occasional burst of guilt, I'd made my peace with my stalking tendencies when it came to Bella.

I had followed her truck at a safe distance, trailing her vehicle like a puppy trails the postman. Halfway between the reservation and Forks, Bella pulled to the side of the road, parking next to a rusted Corolla. The wolfmobile, I supposed. I smugly noted my car was more impressive. Not that that was much of an accomplishment.

Jacob came bursting off of a concealed pathway; a "backend" entrance to a grouping of nature trails. The official entrance was located on the reservation, his thoughts revealed. We were half a mile off of the government-sanctioned grounds of the reservation but still in territory that the Quiluetes had effectively taken charge of, since it housed a few items of historical importance to them. The boys had agreed to meet Bella here, halfway between Forks and the Quileute reservation because it required the least walking to get to the caves they planned to visit.

I was glad to not be infringing upon their official territory. I had no desire to cause a confrontation with the wolves over something as unimportant as territory. I just wanted to ensure Bella's safety. I kept downwind of the pack at a safe distance.

Wolf-sitting turned out to be a lot less exciting than I'd expected. In their human forms, the Quiluete boys were just like any other teenage boys; crude and boisterous. Bella seemed to enjoy their company so I allowed their often crass commentary.

If I'd been capable of it, I might have nodded off, safely away tucked away in my leafy outpost.

The only thing that prevented me from falling victim to my boredom completely was Bella.

I couldn't hear her thoughts but I could hear those of the boys surrounding her. Each of them adored Bella in his own way. They regarded her as one of their own despite her non-Quileute heritage.

It had always been interesting to me to see how humans viewed one another. They were extremely opinionated. It didn't matter who or what they were regarding, humans always had a unique perception and an equally unique opinion. No two were ever the same, either.

It was especially fascinating for me to watch how others saw Bella. I'd never cared to watch a single human before, other than for hunting purposes.

Seeing her through the eyes of the four Quileute boys was like seeing four different Bellas, from four different angles, each with different qualities highlighted.

Paul watched her with a sense of camaraderie. He enjoyed her often humourous outlook on life and the way she was always willing to help him rag on Jacob.

Jared saw her as a kindred spirit. He thought of her as a peacemaker like himself, loyal to a fault and always ready with an air of calm when things got too tense.

Embry viewed her as another old soul. She was also an only child, having grown up in single-parent household where she'd never really had a chance to be a child like others her age.

Of all the boys, Jacob's thoughts were the most interesting.

Though he was always careful to prevent his thoughts from wandering too deeply – almost as if he was denying the truth of his own thoughts – there was always a hint of something other than friendship lingering at the edges of his mind.

Unlike the other cubs, he saw Bella in a very physical way. He noticed the pale pinkness of her skin against his own dark bronze and the flow of her hair in the wind. It confused him. He didn't understand why he was noticing these things about his best friend, someone he had known since childhood; someone who was most certainly not his imprint.

He didn't allow himself to delve into the meaning behind his thoughts, telling himself he was content with things the way they were. Defense colouring his thoughts, he would nonsensically repeat two names in his head like a mantra: Sam and Leah.

His obvious feelings for Bella would have been infuriating, had she not been so oblivious.

None of the boys saw Bella the way I did. Each of them was only privy to small nuanced parts of her that they deemed worthy of noticing. Through their eyes and dozens of others, I saw everything. I still didn't know enough. I was certain I'd never be able to learn all there was to know, even given all the time in the world. Truthfully, I didn't want to.

Whether she was aware of it yet or not (and I was starting to believe she was) she was meant to be mine. Just as I was already hers. Imprinting might not have been a part of my existence but change didn't come easy to my kind. She'd changed me, linked my soul to hers, simply by being a part of my world. Jacob, try as he might, without the destiny of an imprint to guide him, would not be able compete with the dedication I could offer her. His only gift to offer her would be humanity.

I prayed devotion was enough.

xx

When I saw her warm, broken body lying haphazardly on the dirt and stone, it took all my efforts not to confront the wolf pack and draw and quarter each and every fucking one of the dogs for abandoning her.

The sight of the precious red fluid seeping from Bella's arm made me see red of a different kind. I had no doubt that my rage at seeing my mate lying bleeding would give me the upper hand, despite the four on one fight.

Fucking mutts.

What kind of men allow a woman to hike a kilometre through the forest without a guide? Surely one of the other mutts could have escorted her back to her truck after her fight with Jacob to ensure she arrived safely?

I had watched her zone out, her mind numb to the world, as she stumbled down the path lost in thought. On a good day Bella was less than coordinated. On a day when she wasn't paying attention, she was a catastrophe waiting to happen.

I couldn't offer her directions or a guiding hand. Not without revealing myself and making the situation worse than it already was. I could only watch from the safe distance of the trees overhead, wincing as she trod back down the uneven path, praying no harm would come to her.

Of course, prayers are rarely answered.

I didn't care what she, the mutts, or anyone else would think. I was at her side in seconds, my breath stagnant in my lungs. Holding my breath was unnecessary anyway; I couldn't breathe until I knew she was okay.

I forced myself not to be alarmed that she had passed out, reassuring myself it was likely fear or an aversion to blood that had caused the reaction. Her head seemed uninjured.

I wasn't an expert on the human anatomy but I'd read more than a few books out of curiosity. I knew enough to assess that she'd broken her arm and that I shouldn't move her until I could distinguish if she had broken any other bones. I felt along her neck and the ridges of her ribs, feeling for a contusion. Her skin was smooth and supple, no spots of tenderness to indicate internal injuries or further broken bones.

Hastily ripping the sleeves off of my shirt, I was able to fashion a makeshift sling to hold her arm in place while I ran. I knew jostling her injured arm couldn't be comfortable for her and I didn't want to cause her any more pain than necessary.

Carefully placing one of my cold arms over her warm one, hoping to numb the ache of her broken bone, I cradled her in my arms. The moment she was settled, her pale cheek pressed against my chest, I took off at a sprint. Unable to look at the pallid colour of her usually rosy cheeks, I focused intently on the back of her eyelids, silently pleading with them to open.

The forest whizzed by at breakneck speed. Branches that so much as threatened to brush Bella's skin were brutally hacked off.

It wasn't until I was halfway to Forks' hospital that I recognized where my feet were carrying me. Logically, I knew Bella needed treatment from a human doctor. Treatment I couldn't offer.

I'd been avoiding the area quite purposefully, in a half-hearted attempt to avoid dealing with Carlisle Cullen. As a vampire, I had all the time in the world and no desire to deal with the unknown. Later was as good a time as any when time was limitless.

I wondered, off-handedly if this was fate's cruel way of punishing me for my cowardice. I'd been avoiding my fate, so Lady Destiny took it upon herself to hurt the only person who had the power to make me step foot in such a place. It was unfair that Bella had to be punished because of me. All I wanted for her was to be healthy and happy.

"Edward," Bella mumbled sleepily, her hazy eyes focused on mine. My throat clenched in relief at the sight of the familiar shade of warm brown.

I cursed myself for being so lost in my musings I hadn't noticed her eyes open. They were still fluttering at half-mast. I wanted to tell her to rest, to save her energy but I knew Bella would refuse on principle alone, stubborn as she was.

"You're safe," I murmured in promise instead, stroking her hair soothingly. A minute nod and her eyes drooped closed again.

The burn in the back of my throat roared nosily, begging for her spilled blood. It was painful, but my relief that she'd gained consciousness, albeit briefly, outshone the stinging pain. I still couldn't stomach the though of killing for blood. It was worse knowing that it was Bella's life that was on the line. She would live, if I could get her to a hospital. She wouldn't, if I drank from her. That thought was enough to beat down all remaining temptation her scent offered.

My legs pumped more desperately. I could see the hospital looming in the distance.

"Edward!" a high, feminine voice called.

I halted, terror pulsing through me at the sound of my own name. I spun around searching for the source but could find nothing out of the ordinary.

My first thought was of Victoria and that there was no way in fucking hell that she was coming within a ten foot radius of Bella, promises of loyalty be damned. I had new loyalties.

I curled myself into a defensive position, shifting Bella slightly so my body was curled around hers.

A flash of dark hair and pale skin sprung out of a tree, landing a few feet from me.

Mumbling silent apologies to Bella for my necessary abruptness, I launched us into a tree, growling territorially at the unknown interferer.

"Edward, I'm sorry!" An elfin face peered up at me apologetically. "I didn't mean to scare you, but you're fucking fast. I had to get close enough that you wouldn't run. You can't go to the hospital."

"Mary Alice?" I growled, irate, once recognition set in. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Hello Edward. I go by Alice, now."


	15. Threatened

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Fifteen; Threatened_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_**AN:**__ I think this is a chapter many of you have been waiting for. It contains some interesting developments. I hope it's what you expected :)_

_I lied about Edward and Alice's back story, to those of you who talked to me about it in reviews. (Oops.) That will actually appear mostly in the next chapter._

_As always, thanks to all of you out there reading and reviewing, you make this worthwhile. Another round of thanks to Jana, who put up with me like a champ through this juggernaut of a chapter._

xx

At the sight of the familiar ink-coloured pixie cut, I was almost stunned into forgetting that I was holding a breakable human. If not for the subconscious part of me that refused to allow any harm to come to Bella, I might have dropped her.

The almost slip in control reminded me that there was another threat to Bella's safety. One that apparently preferred to go by the name Alice.

The scent of Bella's blood had probably been what lured her to me in the first place. I didn't care about our history. If she tried to lay a finger on Bella, I would take her down without a second thought.

"Back off," I growled, "I don't care what the fuck your name is now. She's mine. Stay away from her."

"I know," she said gently, raising her hands defensively. Her thoughts mirrored the sentiment but my annoyance didn't lessen. "Calm down." She had the nerve to attempt to sound soothing. My mate was hurt and she was trying to tell me to calm down? "I don't want Bella hurt any more than you do. But it's important that you avoid taking her to the hospital."

Though I was inclined to believe that she had no intentions of hurting Bella based on the sincerity of her thoughts, I certainly wasn't willing to bet Bella's life of on it. She needed treatment immediately.

"How do you know her name?" I asked suspiciously. I knew I hadn't mentioned Bella by name. "She's injured and I can't help her. I don't care what you would rather I do or don't do. I'm taking her to the hospital," I added, not waiting for an answer to my question. It wasn't really important in the scope of things. Bella needed care only a hospital could provide. Arguing was only wasting valuable time.

_We go to school together. She's in my Spanish class_, Alice thought.

That answered one question but opened the door to several others in its place.

If she was telling the truth, would Bella recognize her? Why was Mary Alice attending a human high school in Forks in the first place? Last I'd seen her, she'd been planning to head South.

"If you take her to the hospital you'll cause a scene," she explained hurriedly, her words bordering on gibberish in her rush to get them out. "You're not calm, Edward. An emotionally charged vampire in a human hospital? Not a good idea, trust me. I know you've been abstaining from human blood lately but you will make an exception for donated blood. You're in no state to go in there now. Trust me on this."

I contemplated what she was saying about donated blood. It made sense. I wondered why I hadn't thought of consuming donated blood to combat my inability to hunt before. It seemed like the perfect solution to my current predicament. No one would be hurt and I could get the nutrition I needed. I made a note to look into locating a few pints to tide me over while Bella was getting treatment.

An image of me rampaging through the hospital, hungrily ripping blood bags from IV poles like a raving lunatic flashed through Alice's mind.

I scowled, annoyed. "I don't care what you think will happen, Mary Alice," I sniffed. "I do have some control. I'm carrying a bleeding human for fucks sake. Hospitals smell sterile. The scent of blood will be dampened enough for me to retain control."

"Edward, we really don't have time for this now," she said impatiently, unsuccessfully trying to curb the urgent undertones to her voice. "There are some things I haven't told you. What you just saw is not what I think will happen, it's what _will_ happen. When you made the decision to consume donated blood, I saw what would happen if you did. I can see the future. And based on my predictions, you're too thirsty and too emotionally keyed up right now to safely enter the hospital without making a scene. The only reason you haven't killed Bella is because you can't hurt her. You love her."

"What do you mean you can see the future?" I gaped, eyes narrowed.

That was an awfully big secret to keep. Had I ever really known anything about her? I'd spent five minutes with Alice and she'd made me question everything I'd known about her. The strange ability to control her hunger in the presence of blood, her golden eyes and now the ability the read the future?

"I thought you didn't have a gift? How could you possibly have hidden something like that from me?"

"Very carefully. I'm sorry, Edward, but I didn't have a choice." Her voice was thick with remorse but I couldn't bring myself to care. "Both of our lives depended on you thinking I was talentless."

I shook my head in disbelief. "And they don't now? What's changed? You know what? I don't care if you are clairvoyant," I grumbled. "I have to take Bella to the hospital. If I know the future, I can change it. Isn't that how it works? She needs healing only a hospital can provide. I'll figure out a way to control myself."

"That's what I came to tell you," Alice snapped. I fought the urge to slug her. My mother had taught me better manners than that. "Before you interrupted, like ten times, I was trying to tell you there's another way. So, if you'd like to shut up for just one minute, I can explain." She glared at me.

"I'm listening," I snapped back, annoyed, though most of my focus remained on Bella. The soft thrum of her heartbeat assured me she was holding on. Usually I prided myself on my patience but this little imp was testing my limits. Bella needed help now. Prolonging her pain was unacceptable.

"My father – Carlisle – he's a doctor. He can help her. They sent me to get you, because they thought you would be more willing to listen to someone you recognized." A flurry or faces streamed through her mind, each with bright golden eyes. She settled on a handsome blond. His defining feature was a jagged, raised scar on the left side of his face.

_Carlisle._

I was really getting sick of hearing that name.

The guy had been interfering in my business and crowding my thoughts for weeks now. I didn't want nor need his help in any way, shape or form.

When it clicked that Bella had mentioned the name Alice last week when discussing the Cullens, I felt stupid for not making the connection myself. How many golden-eyed Alices could there be in Forks? Of course she was in league with Carlisle Cullen. At least this meant the Cullens were probably a sub-species of vampire and not some new undetermined mythical creatures.

I knew for certain Alice was a vampire, so the others were likely as well. That still didn't explain the different coloured eyes. How had Alice changed hers? They'd been the crimson typical of newborn vampires when I'd last seen her. Were all of the Cullens simply wearing contacts to mask their real eye-colour? I had heard of vampires wearing coloured contacts for vanity's sake; red wasn't exactly the most charming eye colour in existence after all. Perhaps it was a symbol of loyalty to their coven. I couldn't make out the plastic rim of colour contacts in her eyes but that didn't necessarily mean the colour wasn't somehow artificial.

"Why should I trust you? Or him?" I growled.

Carefully, I removed myself from the tree I'd been crouched in for the last few minutes, shifting Bella so she wouldn't feel the impact of my landing. I began stomping towards the hospital, partly to spite Alice and partly in anger at myself, for not realizing earlier that she was one of the Cullens.

"I haven't seen you in eight decades. I have no reason to trust you and I have no interest in seeing _Dr. Cullen_," I spat. "He's been shadowing me for weeks. Now it makes sense. It has been your influence, hasn't it? I already have a coven. I don't need yours."

Alice followed diligently, careful to keep her distance from Bella. When she stepped too close, an instinctive hiss would rise in my throat, unbidden.

She grew frantic, the closer we stepped to the hospital. Since we were within sight of the hospital's many windows, I could only walk at a leisurely, human pace.

The image of the bloodbath in the hospital flashed through her mind again; this time the images were sharper and more vivid. I steeled myself, mentally promising that I wouldn't let them become reality.

"Edward, please!" she begged, "Listen to me, for Bella's sake. Don't let her suffer because you're angry with me. I know I've lied and that I've given you no reason to trust me, but my family can help you. We live differently than most vampires. We don't hurt humans. We won't hurt Bella, either. Please, just give me a chance to explain. After we patch up her arm, I'll tell you everything you want to know."

I glanced at the girl cradled in my arms. She was paler than usual due to the blood loss. I'd tried to stem the flow with my torn shirt but it was only a makeshift solution. Bella wouldn't be able to tolerate much more lost fluid; she needed immediate medical attention. I could feel the faint pulse of her heartbeat, but it was slower than what I had become accustomed to. I didn't want to put her in further danger because I was too stubborn to accept help.

The paleness of her skin, slightly blue-tinted and her closed eyes made her look like a sleeping angel. She didn't deserve the pain. I didn't want her to ever feel pain again. I also didn't want Bella to see me as the monster the future promised I'd be if I stepped foot in that hospital. For Bella, I wouldn't let myself be that monster ever again.

That thought was the final push I needed to take Alice's proffered alternative.

"Okay," I said gruffly. "I'll come, but Bella stays with me, no matter what happens."

While I would definitely be outnumbered – Alice's thoughts revealed images of four golden-eyed vampires other than herself – I doubted they would harm me, since they'd gone through the trouble of protecting me in the past. If Victoria was right about west coast vampires being talent-hoarders, they wouldn't put Bella or I in jeopardy and risk losing my gift.

"Okay! Thank you!" Alice grinned, relief colouring her features. Her thoughts expressed her desire to hug me. Since I was holding Bella, she wisely chose to keep her distance. "You won't regret it!" She jerked her head to the east. "This way!" She set off at an eager sprint in the direction she'd indicated.

I followed her, my longer legs allowing me to easily keep pace with her, though she was running as fast as she could. We didn't say anything as we ran. I ignored Alice's thoughtful inner monologue, monitoring Bella's vitals closely instead, attempting to reassure myself that she would be okay.

"We're almost there," Alice said simply, after a few minutes of seemingly aimless running. She spared a glance at Bella. "In seven seconds she's going to wake up. She's going to be scared; she'll need you to comfort her."

Precisely seven seconds later, Bella's eyes fluttered open, the warm chocolate colour greeting me like a dearly missed friend. She didn't seem scared to me. To the contrary, her eyes held strength and determination.

"Shh, quiet," I murmured, adjusting my hold on her, so most of her weight was balanced in one of my arms, her small body almost weightless. I placed a gentle finger over her lips, when they twitched in an effort to speak. "Save your energy. I know we have lots to talk about. There will be plenty of time for talking later, once your arm has been treated."

She nipped at my finger, a defiant spark shooting across her face. I couldn't help but smile at her innate stubbornness. Even flanked by vampires, with a broken arm and massive blood loss, she retained the feisty spark that was simultaneously endearing and infuriating.

She did seem more alert than when she'd briefly awoken last time, something I took as a good sign. Still, I wasn't going to take any risks.

"I'm sorry," I explained. "You've already passed out on me twice already. I don't want to make it three. When your arm is in a cast, you can yell at me all you like."

"It's the blood," she mumbled, her forehead pressed against my shirt, the sheen of sweat that covered it dampening the fabric. "The smell of it makes me woozy. Right now all I can smell is you; it's much, much better than blood." I nodded, relieved to hear it hadn't been intense pain that resulted in her fainting.

"We'll get you cleaned up as soon as possible," I promised. "Alice Cullen's taking us to her father. Dr. Cullen has offered his services."

Bella nodded weakly, too drowsy to protest.

Alice, who had been politely keeping her distance, interrupted to announce we'd reached the Cullen estate.

It was a massive glass and steel structure masquerading as a house. I wondered how five vampires lived in what was quite literally a glass house without breaking anything. Simply walking across the threshold, I worried the solid weight of my footsteps would reverberate enough to break the walls.

Alice eyed me, amused. "No need to step lightly. The walls are reinforced glass, you won't break anything unless you try something stupid."

The moment we stepped foot in the house, me slightly behind Alice, four other vampires, each with bright golden eyes, eagerly rushed into the foyer, a mixture of pleased and contemplative looks on their faces.

The tenor of their minds suggested they were merely trying to be friendly and introduce themselves but my instincts insisted otherwise. With all of them coming at me at once, I couldn't hope to defend myself. If even one of them decided to attack Bella, I would be fighting a losing battle with three more to back up the first… I cursed myself for being stupid enough to listen to Alice when she insisted she could help. I hardly knew her and she'd proven untrustworthy before…

I retreated several steps with Bella still in my arms, a defensive snarl tickling my throat. I kept all five vampires, including Alice, in my sight, not wanting to take any chances.

The first thing I noticed was the honey-blond vampire was littered with an astounding array of bite-shaped scars. They would have been hardly detectable to human eyes but the toxic venom infused within each mark had left them slightly raised above the otherwise smooth texture of his skin. They were glaringly obvious to my eyes and threatening beyond belief. It was the skin of a born killer. No one who'd challenged this man made it out of the fight alive.

Bella clutched her good arm around my neck. She didn't seem as perturbed as I was, but must have read the alarm in my expression. Her hand curled into the hair at the back of my neck, raking through the strands soothingly. I was ashamed she was trying to calm me when she was the one with a broken arm.

Alice groaned at her family, her little hands on her hips. "What did I tell you guys about crowding Edward? I give you all one tiny, little, crucial instruction to follow, and you can't do it? Do you want to overwhelm our guest? I'm sure Edward will be pleased to introduce himself to you all. Later. Separately," she stressed, shooing them away. I might have been irritated she was speaking on my behalf but I was more relieved to see them leave.

Several groans and grumbles rang from the group but they appeared to accept Alice's authority on the matter. The darker haired of the two blonde men and an auburn-haired woman offered warm smiles in my direction before retreating. The blonde female spared Alice a look of irritation, internally grumbling about wanting to meet "the asshole Carlisle nearly got us all killed for." She was irritated that he would spare my life at the potential expense of hers.

When she caught my eye, her thoughts turned even nastier. _Yeah,_ _I know you can hear me, jackass. Just so you know, I meant every word. Especially the part about you being an asshole. And a jackass._

I clutched Bella tighter to me as the surly blonde swished her hair and delicately stomped away, leaving only Alice and the platinum blond man I recognized from her thoughts as Carlisle in the entryway. Bella took in the silent exchange but didn't comment. Her head lolled on my shoulder, her nose tucked against my shirt. I could tell she was fighting the urge to close her eyes, probably a result of the pain she was in.

The sooner Bella received her cast and we got the hell out of here, the better.

Alice was mentally sorting through a dozen different images in her mind – snippets of possible futures, I realized. Things that hadn't happened, but might. Unlike her vision of me drinking blood in the hospital, these visions weren't imminent. They were threads of possibility, some more likely to become reality than others.

"Sorry about Rosalie. I know she was thinking some nasty things, based on your most recent decisions regarding our family. Please don't let her scare you away. She's a little intense, but she'll grow on you."

I nodded numbly, not sure how to respond to that, especially in front of Bella. Alice was making it sound like I would be around often.

Based on Rosalie's internal grumblings, which were still rumbling from somewhere upstairs, I wasn't sure that was a good idea for any of us.

Thankfully, Alice didn't seem to be expecting a response from me because she continued eagerly. "This is my father, Carlisle," she introduced, hugging his arm affectionately. "He's been looking forward to meeting you, Edward. Bella, I believe the two of you have met before."

Bella bobbed her head slightly against my shoulder, offering a mild wave.

Carlisle nodded kindly to her and extended his hand to me. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Edward. And to see you again, Bella, though, these are unfortunate circumstances."

His thoughts were warm, friendly, and among the most genuine I'd ever come across. He seemed like the kind of person who was difficult to dislike, though I still felt I had reason to be wary of him.

I shook his offered hand, deciding it would be rude not to. His skin was the same temperature as mine. Definitely a vampire.

"I'm pleased to meet you as well. I don't mean to seem rude by stilting pleasantries… but Bella's injury needs to be dealt with and we were told you had the means to deal with medical emergencies."

He nodded. "I'm a registered physician."

"You intend to treat Bella yourself?" I wondered stupidly. "I assumed your title was in name only and that we'd be dealing with an associate of yours… but you're truly a doctor? How is that possible… with the blood?" I knew my question had to seem odd to Bella but I didn't care. I wasn't going to entrust him with her safety until I had a few answers. Thankfully, Carlisle had the insight to be more discreet than I had.

_Many things are possible, if you want them badly enough, Edward. I assume Alice has told you a little of how our family lives differently than others of our kind? After so many years of working alongside injured humans, I have trained myself to be immune to the scent of blood. It's not been easy, I'll admit, but I've always found enjoyment in healing others. Being a vampire could not and has not prevented me from putting my passion to good use. In actuality, it has only aided me. I am capable of detecting many things human doctors cannot. Bella will be in the most capable of hands, should you entrust me with her health. I assure you none of my patients walk away in worse shape than they came to me in, unless it is beyond my power to help them._

"Yes, I intend to treat her myself," was all he said aloud. "Dealing with blood is a necessary part of the job."

"Edward, you're being overprotective. He's a good doctor," Bella mumbled into my shirt. "He gave me stitches in my foot last year."

I shrugged uncomfortably, stroking Bella's hair, to comfort myself as much as her. Her confirmation that she'd been treated by Carlisle before, without catastrophe, was encouraging.

It was too late too go to the hospital now. I didn't want her to suffer because I'd impetuously trusted Alice on her behalf. I would by her side at all times to ensure he didn't overstep any boundaries, I reminded myself, attempting to assuage my uncertainty.

"I want to make sure that you'll be okay. These aren't ordinary circumstances. Hospitals guarantee the authenticity of their doctors. Here there are no such promises."

"She's right. She'll be fine, Edward. My father knows what he's doing," Alice promised.

She focused on an image of Bella laughing, a bulky cast on her arm. I offered a weak smile in return. Though the picture of future Bella, happy and laughing, was reassuring, I also knew Alice's visions were not absolute. I'd not destroyed a hospital as her vision in the forest suggested I would. Granted, in the end I'd avoided the circumstances that would have made it a reality, but at one point, it had appeared to be inevitable. How was I to know if Alice's vision was faulty or if I'd made a conscious choice to alter the future? Either option seemed equally possible.

_If you entrust Carlisle with Bella's health, this is the guaranteed outcome,_ Alice explained in response to my doubt. _Some things I can see with more certainty than others. Since this – Carlisle's ability to safely heal Bella – is not so reliant on decision-making, I can be more sure it is the correct outcome I'm seeing._

It was eerie how she could respond to my unvoiced concerns. Though I intruded upon the minds of others on a daily basis, I'd never had my own thoughts or feelings breached, nor had anyone directed their thoughts at me, intending for me to hear them. It was unsettling. It felt like too intimate a link to have with these strangers I hardly knew.

"I don't want her to be in pain any longer," I said simply.

Carlisle took that as an affirmative.

"I'll get my supplies. Please take a seat in the living room. I'll be in in just a moment."

I followed Alice into a spacious living room, laying Bella tenderly on the most comfortable looking sofa in the space. I didn't particularly care if blood stained the pristine white. I'd buy the Cullens a new couch if necessary.

Once Bella was situated, I kneeled at her side, clutching her good hand. Alice turned to us apologetically. I knew immediately from her expression that the scent of Bella's blood had become too overwhelming for her to stay any longer.

I might have felt the same, potent as Bella's blood was, but my worry eclipsed my blood thirst. I knew I couldn't leave her now. I had no guarantees Carlisle Cullen wouldn't hurt her, in spite of his vow that he didn't hurt humans. I wanted to be around her, in case there was an incident.

_I'm not as well versed as my father in controlling my blood thirst. Being around a bleeding human is not easy for me; I don't want to risk a split-second slip I might not see in time to prevent. You really have incredible control, for a human-drinker, you know. Even though you care for Bella, it doesn't account for your ability to restrain yourself so completely. You share my father's compassion, to some degree, I think._

I smiled in acknowledgement of what I was sure was intended as a compliment. Truthfully, her comments about me being a human-drinker only served to bolster my curiosity about the Cullens' alternative lifestyle. I'd never heard of vampires drinking anything but human blood.

Perhaps the Cullens had devised some sort of synthetic alternative. If it were golden in colour, that might account for the strange eye-colour.

_By the way, Bella knows more than you have given her credit for. Once you're alone, she's going to want to talk to you. Don't be afraid. Talk to her, honestly. She trusts you._

Trust a psychic to be inexplicably vague. That told me nothing about what to expect, except that it involved Bella and would upset me.

_Shut up and stop over-thinking everything, would you? This is something you actually want to hear, trust me. And before you ask me to tell you what I'm talking about: you already know, stop being a wuss and stop hiding from yourself._

I made the decision to grumble back, hoping she received my silent irritation.

_I heard it._

Good.

_But you're still a wuss for pretending you don't know what I'm talking about._

I glared at her openly. She grinned and turned to Bella, effectively shutting me out.

"I'm sorry to leave you this way, Bella," she explained, peering down at her injured friend, "but I have something I must attend to immediately. Edward will make sure my father takes good care of you while I'm gone, I'm sure. I'll be back to sign your cast."

Bella mumbled a goodbye, squeezing my hand tightly, her heartbeat picking up pace. I squeezed back, wondering why she was so nervous. Alice had said I would be the one upset by the impending conversation.

Bella surreptitiously tilted her head to check that Alice was gone. Once she was sure she was, she whispered, "I know," her eyes wide.

I nodded, Alice had told me as much. "What do you know?"

Her heart was beating frantically. I stroked her hair away from her forehead, encouragement for her to relax.

Before she could answer, Carlisle returned carrying a box of medical supplies. I couldn't find it in me to care that our conversation would be put on hold if the interruption meant Bella would finally get her arm sewn up.

"Sorry for the wait," he said, contrite. "I couldn't find my fiberglass tape. Esme enjoys cleaning and sometimes the supplies in my office are a casualty."

Neither Bella nor I said anything, our eyes still locked on one another's. Carlisle looked between the two of us apologetically.

_I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll get the cast on quickly. It shouldn't take more than ten minutes._

He cautiously removed the makeshift sling I'd made, studying Bella's arm with analytical eyes.

"It seems you've suffered a radial shaft fracture," he diagnosed as he applied local anesthetic. "You've only broken one of the bones in your forearm, and quite cleanly at that. That's a good thing; it'll be easy enough to set the bone. It shouldn't require any surgery but you will feel some pain when I realign your arm, especially since it's an open fracture."

I was grateful for his straightforward approach. He didn't try to sugarcoat the situation, nor did he speak in nonsensical medical jargon. He was polite and to the point, focused on minimizing Bella's pain as quickly and efficiently as possible. My respect for him grew marginally.

"Okay," Bella winced, staring at the arm in question as Carlisle prepared to set it. I turned her head away, forcing her to look at me instead. I didn't want her passing out mid-procedure.

"Don't think about your arm. It'll hurt more if you're waiting for the pain. Think about something happy. Think about the meadow," I encouraged, hoping to divert her attention. "Remember how pretty the flowers are? You told me they were Oregon irises, do you remember? You know the most interesting things. I'm in awe of you sometimes…"

"I remember." The flutter of a smile assured me she did.

She kept her eyes on mine, gritting her teeth and grimacing as Carlisle set her arm in the proper position. My wince was stronger than hers. My stomach clenched painfully at the sight of Carlisle's strong fingers manipulating her fragile bone; it was a reminder of how easily he could exert enough force to detach her arm completely.

"You did excellent," he praised when Bella's arm was once again in the correct position. "The hard part is over. Now we just need to bandage you up, and fit you with a cast."

He worked quickly and capably. I let go of the breath I'd been unconsciously holding as medicinal smell of the anesthetic helped to ease my blood thirst, the painfully tempting scent of Bella's scent distorting almost unrecognizably.

Carlisle proceeded to stitch and bandage the area where the bone had protruded, before finally padding it for the cast.

Bella pursed her lips and endured it all without so much as a whimper, though she spared a wary glance when Carlisle pulled out a needle from the box. I could hardly watch, myself; the sight of the sharp point pricking Bella's delicate skin was almost more painful to me than it was to her. I forced my eyes to remain on Carlisle's hands the entire time he worked, prepared to stop him should Bella indicate he was inflicting any more pain than absolutely necessary.

Despite her ambivalence to most of the procedure, when Carlisle lifted a roll of pink fiberglass tape from the box to start on the shell of the cast, Bella looked at him like he'd grown a second head.

"Don't you have a colour besides pink?" she pleaded. "I don't mean to be a complainer, but six to eight weeks of hot pink? I'm not five." I sighed in relief that her concern wasn't something more serious.

Carlisle grinned in amusement but nodded, holding up two more roles of tape. "I have blue and purple also."

"You look beautiful in blue, you know" I commented offhandedly. "I remember the first time I saw you. You were wearing a blue shirt… sitting there in the meadow reading. You knocked the wind out of me in more ways than you know."

Bella's cheeks pinked slightly, less than they would have had she not lost so much blood. I rejoiced at the return of the familiar flush I'd come to adore.

"Um, blue, I guess."

_You'd make an excellent nurse, Edward. You've made this experience easier on Bella, simply with your presence. You have a strong capacity for both kindness and gentleness, two qualities I admire in my nursing staff._

I wasn't sure whether he was joking on not. I wasn't used to hearing compliments like that. James, and Victoria to an extent, tended to view kindness as a form of weakness. The somber hum of Carlisle's mind suggested he was being genuinely complimentary. I wasn't sure what to make of his observation.

The three of us sat in silence while Carlisle completed the last of Bella's cast, winding and molding the tape around her arm with sure hands.

I couldn't stop myself from touching her as he worked. I needed the contact with her to remind me that she was going to be all right. The smooth feel of her hair under my fingers and her hand in mine slowly chased away my panic. As the minutes passed and the cast moved closer to completion, I could feel the stress melt away and the happiness I usually felt around Bella begin to return.

When Carlisle had finished the cast and given Bella painkillers and the antibiotics necessary to prevent any possible infections, he excused himself, declaring we were welcome to stay as long as we pleased and to call him should we need anything.

As much as I wanted to talk to Carlisle about his family and "alternative" lifestyle – a conversation I was no longer dreading after his display of kindness – as always, Bella took precedence.

"How do you feel?" I asked once Carlisle's footsteps had faded to a dull thud upstairs as he joined the rest of his family.

They were playing some sort of sports-themed video game. I was positive they could all hear what was going on between Bella and I, but they courteously gave us our privacy, relegating themselves to an upstairs corner of their own home.

Their thoughts revealed curiosity and requests for an update from Carlisle but no one was trying to intrude upon my conversation with Bella.

Bella examined her new cast, her eyes beginning to droop from the weight of the day's events. "I feel fine. Tired. I think the painkillers are making me a little drowsy."

"It's okay if you need to sleep," I whispered. "We can talk later. I can wait. Forever if I need to."

She wrung her shirt in her good hand. "I think we need to talk now. I don't want you to think I'm crazy, if I'm wrong about this… but there are some things I need to say."

"I'm listening."

"Jake… his tribe's legends, I mean... they mention these beings they call the Cold Ones. Vampires." She whispered the last word but it sounded deafening to my ears.

The cold terror I'd felt when Jacob Black had tried to force Bella to recognize me for what I was returned tenfold. The relief I'd felt when I'd thought she remained oblivious had been palpable. Now I recognized it as denial. I immediately knew this was what Alice had meant about me knowing what Bella wanted to talk about already. I'd known she would make the connection, sooner or later. Bella was too intelligent not to piece together Jacob's blatant hints.

There was no turning back now. There was nothing left to hide behind.

"I didn't understand what he was trying to tell me at first because I couldn't picture it," she continued. "It didn't make sense. You – you're one of the most amazing people I've ever met – you just couldn't be something out of a nightmare. You just couldn't. But it's true, isn't it? Burgundy eyes, cold skin, strange diet, inhumanly fast… it all makes sense. You _are_ one of them."

"Yes," I said numbly, my throat not allowing any further words to pass.

My whole body seized up, waiting for her to tell me she didn't think it would be wise if we continued to be friends. I'd been dreading this moment. The scenarios I'd come up with didn't cover even a fraction of the devastation.

"But then I realized," she continued passionately, her eyes wet, "you're not. It doesn't matter what you are. I know you. You're not a monster or nightmare. You can't be. I know werewolves who are loyal and trustworthy. They're not the monsters legends make them out to be. So why do vampires have to be? Even if you're a vampire, you're not a monster. You're Edward. The Edward I know is beautiful and selfless and maybe he's a little too stubborn but that's okay because he's a good person. He saved my life."

"What are you saying?" I choked out, hope threatening to force its way to the forefront of my current jumble of emotions. I kept my head down, not wanting to see her eyes if it proved to be imprudent.

She slid down to sit at the foot of the couch, where I was kneeling, forcing my downturned eyes to meet hers.

"That I don't care. You're Edward, and you're perfect the way you are, no matter what you are." Her voice was strong and confident. She was handling this much better than I was. I felt ready to crumble from the intensity of the moment.

She grabbed my hands in hers. I allowed her to pull them into her lap, forcing me closer to her.

"How can you not care? There's so much I've done wrong in my life; so much I've lied to you about to keep you safe from me. You're going to forgive me for it all without hearing the truth?"

"So tell me now," she shrugged, as though we were merely discussing inconsequential details. "Nothing you have to say will make me think of you differently. The fact you have to end that statement with 'to keep you safe from me' proves to me that you care. I want to know everything you'll tell me. I might not like everything you have to say… but I know you're a good person. Bad people don't carry bleeding girls ten miles to get them to a doctor. They just don't."

"You're too understanding."

She shrugged dismissively, a wide yawn escaping her as she sunk back against the couch, tiredly. "And you're stalling."

I understood her eagerness for explanations. Now that she knew the truth, it seemed a whirlwind of doors had been opened. There were so many things I wanted to say and do and explain that I wasn't sure where to start.

"You've had a long day," I countered, not bothering to refute her claim. It was pointless. I was stalling. "Now might be a good time for you to take a nap," I suggested gently. "Once you've rested and had a chance to recuperate from your busy day, you can ask all your questions and we can talk about anything you like, okay?"

She grumbled but acquiesced.

I lifted her so she was once again laying on the sofa and pulled down the blanket folded neatly over the back of it, draping it around her. She was stubborn as always, her eyelashes fluttering defiantly as she fought to keep her eyes open.

She allowed me to tuck the blanket around her and fluff her pillows with a resigned sigh. I could tell she thought I was being too fussy.

"Will you stay with me?" she asked, her voice shy.

I nodded fervently, appalled that she thought I might leave now.

"I wouldn't have it any other way. You're stuck with me until you order me away, now."

"I wouldn't consider it stuck. That implies I don't want you to be here and I do."

"No more talking," I ordered gently. "Sleeping."

I leaned to kiss her cheek fondly, unable to contain my affection for her. At the last moment, she turned her face slightly so my lips brushed against hers in the barest whisper of a kiss.

My mind ground to a stand still, unable to do anything but attempt to process the contrasts of her lips against mine. Her supple to my solid; her warm to my icy; her eager to my hesitant. It felt amazing in its contradictions.

My inaction seemed to alarm her.

"Please don't pull away," she begged, her breath whispering hotly against my skin.

The words were both sensual and heartbreaking. How could she possibly think I would? Didn't she have the slightest idea how she owned me? I resolved to show her.

"No," I murmured, threading my fingers into the hair behind her ears, finally allowing my body to give into the desires I had been fighting for weeks. "Never."

I pressed my lips more solidly against hers. I kept my lips gentle and pliable, encouraging her to guide the pressure of the kiss, which she did, eagerly sinking against me, her arms wrapped tightly around my neck, her brand new cast little more than an annoyance.

The kiss was soft, gentle guiding and pressing. She didn't try to deepen it any further and neither did I. The intimacy of it was enough. I'd never felt closer to another person in my life. It was much easier than I had expected to be this close to her.

I had thought that the scorching draw of her blood would make it difficult for me to take this step with her and that even if I could fight against my instincts and make it happen, concentrating on not hurting her would take precedence over enjoying the moment. I had assumed kissing her would be a sacrifice I would have to make to show her I cared.

It wasn't at all. The exhilaration of being able to feel her lips pressed against mine was enough to demote my blood thirst to a distant, throbbing memory, satisfaction taking its place.

The throaty hum of contentment that rose from her settled deep within me, fulfilling a need I hadn't known I'd left unmet until now.

When she pulled away after several too short minutes, I felt like I'd lost a crucial limb. Her breathing was slightly laboured, her lips flushed a deep pink and her hair slightly mussed where my fingers had tangled in it. Contentment and pride swelled in me at the sight. She looked like that because of me.

"Any time you'd like to do that in the future, please let me know, immediately," I whispered, teasing her. "I will be your extremely eager test subject."

I ran a finger across her bottom lip gently, staring into her warm chocolate eyes. "Do you have any idea how amazing that was?"

She fixed pretty, smiling eyes on me and shrugged shyly. "I liked it."

"I hope so, because I think we're going to have to do it again. Soon."

She bit her lip self-consciously, whiteness erasing the flushed pink. I pressed a gentle finger against it, loosing it from her teeth. "Don't. I have a vested interest in these, now."

Her eyelids fluttered again, reminding me that she was supposed to be sleeping, before she had sneakily diverted my attention. Not that the diversion had been unwelcome in the least. I wouldn't have changed it for the world.

I kissed each of her eyelids, encouraging her to close them. She did so, willingly, a hint of a smile remaining in her peaceful expression.

Moments later, the slow steady beats of her heart assured me she was asleep.

xx

_Originally I had planned for this chapter to have an additional scene attached, however it started to get a little long and had too much going on at once for my tastes… so I decided to cut the scene, add another, and give it it's own chapter._

_Yes, this means yet another EPOV chapter, but the good news is the scene I'd originally planned is already written, so the update should be much sooner than usual. Bella will finally get her say again the chapter after next._


	16. Enlightened

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Sixteen; Enlightened_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_**AN:**__ This chapter is all about the Cullens. I'm a little nervous about it, more than the past chapters, because there's so much opportunity for plot holes the more people you add… especially when you're dealing with a psychic and a mind-reader. Hope I've done it (and them) justice, anyway._

_All the usual thanks to the usual people, you all know who you are :)_

xx

I sat on the edge of the sofa, watching Bella's chest rise and fall with the deep breaths of sleep. For once, I didn't feel guilty. I belonged here watching over her.

Musing over the day's events, I thumbed her new cast, careful not to wake her.

It was strange how a day that had started on such a sour note could be topped with the best five minutes of my life. Looking back, this would be a day of revelations and first kisses, not of pain and broken arms.

Alice appeared at my side, holding a sharpie out to me. "She's going to love it. Trust me, if you write what you're thinking about writing, you'll be guaranteed an encore of tonight's performance." In response to my glowering expression she amended, "Sorry. We can't help what we overhear. The two of you were tormenting Jasper."

I grabbed the marker, put out that my message wouldn't be a secret between Bella and I and that the progression in our relationship was common knowledge in the Cullen household. I quickly scrawled the words I'd been thinking before Alice had interrupted, much to her approval.

"Jasper? The one with all the scars?" I wondered absently as I recorded my message. "How were Bella and I tormenting him, exactly?"

"Yes. My mate. He's an empath. You and Bella were radiating some pretty strong emotions tonight. Usually he's able to drown out the intensity when they become too much, but the two of you felt too strongly for that to work. He was surprised by the level of devotion Bella feels towards you considering she's still human."

"He can read feelings?" I asked, a little confused. I'd never met an empath before. It sounded like a narrower version of my gift but instead of hearing all thoughts, he could hear emotions.

"More than that. He feels everything everyone around him feels. He can alter feelings, too, most the time. But, as I said, you and Bella were feeling too strongly for him to have much of an effect on either of you. She's your other half, so I'm not surprised. Today was the first opportunity the two of you have had to indulge the physical side of your relationship. Your emotions were bound to be intense."

"How do you know so much about Bella and I?" I questioned, growing increasingly alarmed the more I realized she and her family knew about me. "I understand that Jasper told you what happened tonight and that you could all hear… but how do you know that was our first kiss? How do you know so many unspoken things about the two of us?"

Alice smiled impishly. "I've been keeping tabs on your future for years, monitoring when the time would be right to introduce you to my family. Why do you think we chose to settle in Forks these last few years? I've had visions of having this very conversation for years. My family and I were waiting for the circumstances to be right to make it a reality. It's a little surreal for me to be talking to you now, having known this was coming for so long."

"Wait," I interrupted. "You're telling me that you've been keeping track of my life for the last 85 years? Isn't that a little intrusive?"

"I wasn't doing it to be malicious," she said defensively. "It wasn't even necessarily conscious on my part. Sometimes I can look for the future but sometimes it finds me. The first visions I had of you came to me. I didn't go looking for them. When I realized what was going to happen… it kind of became something I was always watching out for. I've known you were meant to be my brother, Edward, since the moment we met."

My eyebrows raised as shock and suspicion set in. This was what Victoria had warned me of... another coven vying for my loyalty. What I couldn't determine was whether it was a play for my gift or if Alice genuinely cared. Her thoughts indicated she was being sincere but vampires had the capabilities to mask their thoughts more effectively than humans.

"So what you're saying is that it's my destiny to become a part of your coven?" I asked skeptically. "Isn't that awfully convenient for you?"

While I no longer doubted that Alice could see the future – several of the short-term visions I'd witnessed pass through her mind had been surprisingly accurate – that didn't mean she wasn't fabricating images of the more distant future.

"Not convenient," she countered. "It's just the way it's worked out. I don't write the future. I see it."

"What if I don't want it to be that way?" I asked stubbornly. "You've shown me that the future can be variable. I have a coven, Alice, you know that. James and Victoria aren't the most conventional but they're all I've got. They're all I've had for years. You waited 85 years for me to find you until the 'time was right?' That seems like a load of shit to me. Why would anything be different now than it was 85 years ago?"

"I didn't know it until recently but it was Bella," she explained earnestly. Her expression was so open, it was hard to believe she might be lying. She was an excellent actress if that was the case.

"She was the push you needed to be ready to meet my family. She's the one person you have stronger ties to than your coven. Without her influence you wouldn't have been ready to listen to me had I tried to talk to you, even as recently as a few months ago. I'm sure you're aware but Bella has changed you irrevocably. She is, for all intents and purposes, your mate."

She mentally scrolled through several images of Bella and I holding hands as we ran together, both of us with glowing amber eyes; a slideshow of my future I realized.

"She's going to be one of us, Edward, and so are you."

"My mate," I breathed, my tone hushed with disbelief.

I'd thought the term in conjunction with Bella before but it had never held quite the same meaning. It was a crude possessive term to stake claim where I knew I probably deserved none. But this… this was real. It was forever. I'd well and truly fallen for a human. It had seemed so implausible I'd doubted the veracity of my own feelings.

It should have been obvious to me but it hadn't. I'd known I'd felt strongly about keeping her safe, protecting her, wanting her to be mine, but it had always seemed part whimsy… an improbable fantasy I'd eventually have to let go of before I returned to reality where vampire-human interactions didn't extend beyond mealtime.

Alice grinned at my awestruck expression. "Yes. I don't see any deviations from this future. All threads of possibility lead to the same conclusion. The path that takes you there will vary as you make decisions that affect your relationship but unless something drastic happens, it's inevitable. Since you two met four weeks ago, it's been set in stone. You're soul-bound."

I turned to gaze at Bella sleeping peacefully on the sofa. Something inside me, in the space I imagined my heart would be were I not solid stone, clenched as the reality of what Alice was telling me set in. She was going to be mine forever.

Decades of being alone, trailing on the heels of a mated couple and passing by numerous other mated nomadic pairs as we crisscrossed the country… nearly a century of waiting, wondering when and if I'd ever find the person I was meant to be with… and she was sleeping just inches away from me.

The slideshow of images from Alice's vision featuring Bella and I, golden-eyed and happy played in my mind on repeat. I was afraid to let them settle into the back recesses of my mind, worried they might disappear.

"This is surreal," I managed to choke out. "You're saying she's really my mate. Forever? You better not be kidding about this. If this is your idea of a joke…"

"I'm totally serious," she swore, the tenor of her thoughts reinforcing her claim. "Finding your mate is a very powerful thing. Once that shift has taken place in a vampire, the bond he feels to his mate is unbreakable. It's something hard to understand unless you've experienced it. It's only overwhelming to you because it's new. Soon it'll be like breathing. You won't have to think about, it will be something that just is."

"But I've known her for weeks… how come I'm just now feeling this way?" I asked, unable to tear my eyes from Bella. I couldn't bring myself to care that it might be rude. "Yesterday I knew I cared for her, deeply. Now the connection between us feels different."

Alice shrugged. "Some vampires believe the bond isn't sealed until the first kiss between mates. It might be that you first kissed Bella today. Or it could be something as simple as the fact that you now know beyond a doubt that Bella is your mate and it's changed the way you view your relationship with her."

"That makes it sound so simple. It doesn't feel simple."

Alice grinned widely. "You're making it more complicated than it needs to be. You love her. That's all there is to it. You're such a typical male; unable to understand what you're feeling until a woman tells you point blank that you're in love."

I laughed for the first time since Bella had broken her arm. It felt good to let go of the stress, confusion and intensity of the last couple hours. "Thanks for the clarification."

"No problem. Alice Cullen, at your service. I'm also pretty handy with tarot cards." She winked.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Look, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about… I got the impression that I hurt your feelings, the way I acted when I was a newborn. I wanted to explain."

"Alice… it's okay," I assured, meaning it honestly. "Truly. You've been nothing but kind to me today. I apologize for the way I acted earlier. I was riled up because Bella was hurt. You didn't deserve my hostility and you don't owe me anything. I should be thanking you for helping me keep Bella safe."

"No, this is something you need to know." She folded her hands in her lap nervously. "Even though we didn't know one another very well, I knew that my decision to leave would hurt you. It wasn't my intention to cause you pain."

I sniffed, not sure whether or not I believed her. After her kindness today, I didn't want to believe she would blatantly lie but my memories begged to differ.

"You could have let me know when you were leaving and where you were going. I followed your scent for miles, only to find you crossed the Mississippi to get away from me."

She touched my shoulder consolingly. I looked at it ruefully. I didn't want to be upset but rehashing those particular memories stung a little. I shrugged nonchalantly, trying not to show how affected I was.

"I wasn't running from you, Edward… Edward, please, listen to me. I wasn't."

"I know we had only known one another for a couple of weeks," I continued over Alice's protesting, "but I thought you considered me a friend. When I learned that James killed the vampire who changed you… I remembered how overwhelmed I felt as a newborn and how much it helped having James and Victoria to explain things to me. I didn't want you to go through it alone."

"I did appreciate everything you did for me," she insisted. "If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be who I am today. I considered you my brother even then. But I couldn't tell you that or let you know about my talent. If Victoria had learned about my gift, I wouldn't have been allowed to leave. I needed to find Jasper. I couldn't stay."

She wrung her hands in her lap, her eyes meeting mine desperately, begging for me to understand her need to seek out her mate. Now that I understood the feeling she had been chasing, I couldn't find it in me to protest. I didn't think I could give up the way I felt about Bella now.

"Even if I had stayed, you would have eventually read enough of my visions to know that I needed to find Jasper. You would have stepped in to defend my right to go looking for him. James would have killed you. My gift was the more valuable of the two in his eyes. He saw no harm in replacing you with me if he couldn't have both. I couldn't let them kill you. So I left."

"They would have killed me?" I asked, appalled. Though it didn't seem out of the realm of possibility, I'd never thought James or Victoria would stoop so low as to kill me for something as petty as defending another vampire's right to find her mate.

"Yes. You know how I explained that I had to wait for you to meet Bella for the right circumstances to talk to you?"

I nodded, trying to absorb these new truths. For so long I'd been living on assumptions about what had happened to cause Alice to leave Louisiana so abruptly. The eternal pessimist in me hadn't considered she might have done so for less than selfish reasons.

"Well, it was the same thing then. My gift was new to me and I was unskilled at using it. I tried to figure out how I could help you get away from them but I could never come up with a solution to free us both. No matter what I did, I always saw one or both of us dead. Keeping you in the dark and eventually leaving you behind was the only option safe for us both."

"Thank you for sparing me," I said honestly, conveying my gratitude with a small smile. "You didn't have to do that. I know most vampires wouldn't have cared for anyone but themselves."

"Of course I cared. You were my first friend in this life. Vampires don't forget, remember?"

"I suppose not," I agreed, still trying to process what I'd learned. I didn't doubt Alice's story was true. There was no faking the sincere tone of her thoughts, nor the convoluted story. It was a lot to accept, however.

"Anyway," Alice continued, "by the time Jasper and I found the Cullens it was too late. By then you'd been with them for decades. You no longer thought of them as travelling partners. I would have been an unwelcome face from the past trying to steal you away from everything you knew. It's only been recently, since Bella, that your priorities have changed and you've begun to see James and Victoria for what they truly are. Why do you think you feel so uncomfortable with the thought of them knowing she exists? Deep down, you've always known."

"I've been so blind." I sighed, upset with my own ignorance. How could I not have grasped that the people I'd known all of my second life would have not spared a second thought when it came to killing me? I was lucky to have survived this long.

"Not blind," Alice countered comfortingly. "They're what you know. They're the standard you measured other vampires by. Why would you think they're unusually cruel when they and others have always ridiculed you for being too kind? You assumed you were the unusual one, not them."

"Right," I sighed. "It's not like I didn't know something was different about them. I chose to ignore it. That makes me just as stupid as if I hadn't known."

"Sooner or later you're going to realize you don't have the right answers to everything. You don't know everything and you can only make decisions based on what you do know. Forgive yourself or live with your regrets forever."

"Easy for you to say. You _do_ know everything."

She grinned. "Not quite everything. I do know the rest of my family is eager to talk to you, though. They think I'm hogging you."

I listened carefully and sure enough, I could hear the curious and eager thoughts of the vampires littered on the upper floors of the Cullen house.

"Are you ready to meet them?"

"Okay," I agreed.

"They're going to love you. Esme has been dying to meet you. She's been doting on all of us so long, it's not enough anymore. She's been eager for a new subject."

"Why do I suddenly feel afraid?"

"Because once my family has been unleashed on you, there's no turning back," she teased back. "Don't worry, they've learned their lesson. They will introduce themselves to you in a single-file, neat and orderly fashion. They don't want to make you uncomfortable."

I nodded, listening to the murmur of thoughts around the house. Most of them were welcoming with one very obvious exception. "I can hear. They sound nice… mostly."

Alice grinned knowingly. "Don't worry about Rosalie. She's set in her ways, but she'll come around. She had a difficult transition into this life. I think she might be able to learn something from you. She's going to have a reason to be thankful for your presence in her life soon enough, trust me."

_Sure I will. Don't worry, asshole, you don't have to worry about me joining your fan club any time soon. If you expect me to fawn over you like the others… well don't. You'll be sorely disappointed._

I tuned out the negative response from Rosalie, who had clearly been eavesdropping. How she got along with this seemingly peaceful family, I wasn't sure. If James hadn't already had a mate, I would have thought their surly attitudes perfectly matched.

"What would she possibly thank me for? She seems to hate me. I highly doubt she's going to suspend that opinion while she gets to know me better."

"Haven't you learned anything? Trust the psychic, Edward. You're going to play a crucial role in Rosalie's future."

"Great," I muttered sarcastically, wondering if all psychics were as smug. "I'm looking forward to spending more time with her."

Alice tinkered out a laugh. "Oh, you guys. If you only knew what I do. I love knowing things first. I'm going to go get the others so they can introduce themselves. I'll be back in a minute."

I took the moment of solitude to check on Bella who was still sleeping soundly beside me on the sofa, one hand tucked beneath her chin, her face peaceful and innocent. I loved watching her sleep. Since the night she'd fallen asleep on my lap in the meadow, I'd discovered there was nothing else in this world that was quite so calming.

I tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear, half-listening to her heartbeat, half-listening to the Cullens talk upstairs. They weren't distressed, but they did seem to be speaking rather urgently, given the hushed tones they spoke in. My curiosity piqued.

"_Are you certain it's the right time? You know how important this is to our family…"_

"_Of course, Carlisle. I wouldn't suggest taking action now, if I wasn't…"_

"_And I trust you implicitly, you know that. I just want to be sure that you're sure."_

"_I am. With Edward showing up, it's ideal. The sooner they're all under the same roof, the better, though it may be a while until we notice a shift in her behaviour."_

"_Just, please be sure, Alice," a third, feminine voice pleaded. "She deserves to be happy."_

"_I know, Esme." She paused, consulting a mental map. "Tennessee," she said suddenly. "He'll be here in a couple days, three at most, depending on how fast he travels."_

"_As long as you're sure this is the right time, I trust you."_

"_It is. Edward is the catalyst, you know that… He's downstairs waiting to meet you properly, by the way… Bella's asleep. He's outwardly calm but I think he may be nervous. Jasper will know better. Just, be careful?"_

_"Of course."_

The voices disappeared, only to be replaced with rapid footsteps. I quickly returned my attention to Bella, pretending I hadn't been listening; not that I understood much of what had been said anyway.

It was odd, meeting strange vampires who seemed to view me as a long lost family member, all because of my history with Alice. It was nice that they were so willing to accept me.

I couldn't help but wonder how different my life might have been had Alice and I been able to escape together all those years ago. They could have truly been my family. Then I considered I might have never met Bella. I banished that thought.

Carlisle and Esme sat on the couch opposite from Bella and I. Esme smiled at me warmly, even though we'd yet to be introduced. Alice followed them in, but remained standing.

"Jasper and Rosalie went hunting," she explained.

_Jasper offered to get Rosalie out of here for a while,_ she admitted. _We thought it might make you more comfortable if she wasn't breathing down your neck. He'll introduce himself when he gets back._

"We thought it might be less overwhelming if we staggered the introductions," Alice said out loud with a wink. I smiled at her attempt to put me at ease. "These are my parents, Carlisle and Esme Cullen. They'll explain anything you want to know. Carlisle will be able to answer your questions better than me."

They both offered heartfelt greetings. I returned them hesitantly. The Cullens seemed nice but they were still essentially strangers to me.

While neither of their minds were closed to me – they didn't have the characteristic empty hum that James and Victoria did – the thoughts I could read seemed almost like surface thoughts, as though they were crafting a wall of thought to conceal more important thoughts from me. I had little experience being around other vampires who knew I could read minds, besides James and Victoria, so perhaps I was being suspicious without just cause.

Once Alice checked I was okay to be alone with the Cullens – which I admitted I was; I didn't feel my life was at stake, at any rate – she leaped out of the nearest window, sprinting to catch up with Jasper and Rosalie, suggesting that I come join them once Carlisle explained "the mechanics" to me.

I was very interested in learning about "the mechanics," whatever they were. My throat was burning fiercely. Having Bella so near wasn't helping matters, but with her sleeping in a house full of vampires, I wasn't yet ready to leave her on her own.

"Alice has told what you've been through. I can't imagine how overwhelmed you must be right now. I hope you'll allow us a chance to explain," Esme said, her features creased with concern. It was immediately clear to me why Alice considered Esme her mother.

There was something inherently maternal about her. I couldn't put my finger on what it was but it didn't seem contrived in the least. She seemed genuinely worried about me. It was strange to think that someone was worried about me, an essentially unbreakable immortal. No one had worried about my wellbeing since I was human and my own mother had had the opportunity to fawn over me about silly things.

"I'm confused," I confessed. "I don't understand why all of you are being so… hospitable. You don't know me. Is it because of Alice? I assure you that you aren't obligated to include me because she asked you to."

"If something is important to one member of our family, it is important to us all," Carlisle explained. "You're important to Alice, so you're important to all of us, as well. She cares about and respects you very much for what you did for her, you know."

"But don't misunderstand," Esme clarified her husband's thoughts. "Welcoming you into our home you wasn't something Alice needed to convince us to do. Through her stories we feel as though we know you. Though you've never met us, we know you. She talks of you endlessly. Her visions over the years have shown us how much we will come to care for you and so we may be feeling protective preemptively."

I shifted uncomfortably. "It's disconcerting that all of you know so much about me and have no qualms sharing your knowledge of my life with me. I don't know anything about you or who you are, yet you tell me that I'll think of you as family one day? I'm sorry if I seem ungrateful, but I don't know you."

"We're sorry to have disturbed you," Esme said. "We've been looking forward to meeting you for decades. It's difficult for us to contain our eagerness, especially since Alice's visions have already allowed us to feel close to you. You have to know that we'll do whatever it takes to make you comfortable."

"Perhaps you could start by answering some questions?" I suggested. I didn't want to intrude where I wasn't welcome, but I needed some answers. I wanted to know who they were before I could consider trusting them.

"Of course," Carlisle agreed. "We'll answer you anything within our power."

"The wolves – the boys from the Quileute reservation, I mean – when they caught my scent, they chased me until they recognized that 'I was one of the Cullens,'" I quoted. "What difference does that make to them? Why do they hunt other vampires, but not you?"

"It has to do with how we live differently than other vampires," Carlisle explained. "Because we don't kill humans, the Quileute wolves have agreed that we can peacefully co-exist. The sole reason they exist is to rid their territory of vampires. In fact, they only start the transformation process when our kind lives near. We've signed a treaty promising not to kill or otherwise injure humans in this region."

"But I don't… I've not lived as you have. I'm _not_ one of the Cullens, in case you haven't noticed," I said stubbornly. "My name is Masen."

Carlisle smiled wryly. "Yes, we've noticed. They left you alone because I asked them to. That was a tough sell to the wolves, believe me. They saw no reason why they should spare you when your eyes are red and not gold, especially when you had no guaranteed allegiance to my family. They think of you as a loose cannon. As long as you've got the blood of a human ruining through your veins, you're their enemy. Even my children sometimes find it hard to locate common ground with the wolves, despite our compromise. I'm quite sure the reason that they spared you was because they didn't want to dissolve our treaty. They knew, had they killed you against my wishes, a cross-species war could have potentially broken out. The casualties, on both sides, would be devastating, and quite simply, killing you wasn't worth what it would have cost them."

If eye colour mattered so much to the wolves, it made sense it was somehow connected to the Cullens peaceful lifestyle. It would also explain why they'd been so fond of calling me a "red eyes;" I'd thought it had been another term for a vampire, but to them, it was the difference between a good vampire and an bad one. Stupid judgmental mutts. If only they knew the pains I went through trying to be good.

"So your eyes… they're a sign of allegiance to your coven and help distinguish you as humanitarians?" I deduced. "If I were to convert to your way of life, hypothetically of course, would I be expected to artificially change my eye colour?"

Esme laughed, a sweet warm sound. "In a way the gold of our eyes separates us from others but it isn't something we chose for that purpose," she explained. "We would never expect you to change your appearance to be a part of our family, if that was something you were opposed to. Our source of nutrition colours our eyes much the way yours does. When we get hungry our eyes darken as well."

"You drink artificial blood?" I hypothesized a smidgen smugly. It was the only possible conclusion I could come up with that made sense. With Carlisle being a human doctor, it seemed possible that he would have the capability to create such a thing.

"That is something I've been looking into for years but I'm afraid I haven't made much progress," Carlisle frowned. "Such a discovery could be radical in the medical community, as well as for vampires. The answer is actually much simpler than that. We drink animal blood."

"But that doesn't make sense," I countered. I'd heard a lot of interesting things over the past decades – usually in the privacy of minds that didn't intend to be heard – but vampires surviving on non-human blood? "Animal blood is just as red as human blood. Even if the colour theory made sense, animals aren't edible to us… they smell absolutely awful."

"We don't understand why our eyes are the colour they are," Carlisle admitted. His thoughts glossed over a few basement experiments he'd initiated, all without conclusive results. "We speculate that it has something to do with the way animal blood reacts differently with our venom than human blood, though I've not been able to confirm such a theory. Drinking animal blood is a sacrifice but it's most certainly possible. I've never consumed a drop of human blood in my existence. I'll never know the lure it holds, but my family has assured me that drinking animal blood is akin to a human surviving on tofu."

"It doesn't quench your thirst to quite the same degree," Esme agreed, the image of a young blonde girl floating through her mind with an undercurrent of sadness. "I've made mistakes, killed when temptation became overwhelming. Despite the preferable taste, it's something I regret deeply. Though it may taste better, human blood is laden with a profound sense of regret. Animal blood, while less appetizing, is much easier for the conscience to swallow."

I nodded, understanding exactly what Esme was saying. It was like she was putting into words how I felt about hunting humans, since my altercation with Bree and her would-be attacker.

"I don't like killing innocent humans. Criminals seemed like least cruel of the available options. How could I not have realized? For 87 years I've been feeding off of people who didn't have to die. I've killed thousands of people. All this time I've spent destroying lives and there was another way?" I was angry at myself more than them, but I couldn't help my irritated tone.

"You did what you had to do, sweetheart," Esme soothed. I found myself liking the term of endearment, much to my chagrin. It reminded me of my mother. "No one is going to begrudge you your survival. If you so choose, you can change now. The future, not the past, is what is most important."

Carlisle nodded in support of his wife. "Though I don't relish promoting human bloodshed, your actions are more parts admirable than not. It takes a great amount of restraint to hunt as you did. Your dedication to not killing human innocents is admirable. I have no doubt you saved more lives than you took. There's still time to change, of course."

"I was always ridiculed for caring about humans. 'You're a vampire for god's sake. Do humans care about the feelings of cheerios? Of course not. Grow the fuck up and be a vampire, like you're supposed to be.'" I bitterly repeated one of James more cutting taunts. Not killing innocents was something I had been proud of. To James, it was a joke. Venom pricked my eyes though tears were a fruitless endeavour.

"I understand that you've been with them a long time, and I mean no disrespect when I say that James and Victoria are the very worst of our kind," Esme said flatly. "It's been very difficult for Alice, watching you have to live with their cruelty for so long. Hearing it second hand isn't much better. You don't have to live with that any longer. We will protect you from them, if necessary. There are enough of us to defend you, and Bella. If you need our help, it's yours, without conditions."

It was the first time I'd heard her voice sound anything but soothing and melodic. There was a feral undercurrent to her voice that assured me she'd do anything to protect her family and those she cared about from pain.

I shrugged helplessly. "I don't know what I want right now. I need some time to decide. I appreciate your concern, but James and Victoria aren't so terrible. They let me hunt how I want to, even if they don't agree with it."

"No one should have to 'let' you do anything, honey," Esme countered. "You should do what you want to do. Don't worry so much about making everyone else happy."

"For all of my existence I've been trying to do the right thing," I attempted to clarify. "I thought I was doing a decent job, but now there's another option that I never even dreamed of. I don't want to hunt humans anymore. James and Victoria would accept if I made that choice. All I want is to make the right choice for everyone. My parents taught me to be moral."

"I'm sure they're very proud of you," Carlisle said. "You've done a lovely job of preserving the values they taught you despite some challenging obstacles. If you were my son, I'd be proud. You've gone against the grain of your nature because you knew it was the right thing to do."

Esme reached a hand out to mine. I sat stoically, letting her hold it, all the while thinking of how much she reminded me of my mother. She was the antithesis of James and Victoria.

For a moment I could have sworn I saw the exact red of my mother's hair flash through Carlisle's thoughts as well, then she turned to reveal Esme's smiling face. Ironic, I thought, that I would imagine my mother and Esme to be the same person, when I had just been noting how much like my mother she was. Perhaps it wasn't ironic at all and I was reflecting my mother onto Esme to make myself feel better.

"How can you say that I've done something good? I've killed a thousand times more people than the two of you combined."

Esme squeezed the hand she was holding. "I was born into this life, Edward; I didn't have to make a difficult choice. It was already waiting for me. Carlisle's propensity for compassion drove him to find a way to live that I doubt any of us would have devised on our own, without some divine guidance. It's not an easy life. Animals are not a natural food source for us. Had you been born into our family, I have every faith you would have made the same choice the rest of us have."

"Do all of you have such clean track records? Why would you want me when I'm so obviously tainted?" I asked ruefully.

Esme shook her head somberly, clearly dismayed by my attitude. "That's a horrible word. Tainted makes it sound as if you've done something wrong. You haven't. You've done nothing a thousand vampires before you haven't. We choose to live this way because we want to. We don't judge others for making different choices."

"Jasper's history puts yours to shame," Carlisle added, a hint of amusement brewing. "I'm sure you've noticed his scars. He was the second in command of one of the southern vampire armies for almost as long as you've been alive. I'm sure you've heard some of the histories. The Southern covens were brutal. He didn't operate with any of the discretion you've shown. Regardless, he's family now. He's made the decision to change and he has been living our lifestyle quite successfully for the last fifty years."

"Is that how you got your scar, too?" I asked, eyeing the jagged pink mark curiously. It was very rare to see a vampire with such a prominent mark. Our skin usually healed so most cuts were next to invisible. Human eyes would be able to detect this one, I was sure.

He smiled tightly. "I think that's a story best left for another time."

Recognizing her husband's discomfort, Esme was quick to return the subject to Jasper. "Jasper is going to love meeting you," she declared. "For so long, he's been the only one with any history outside of our family. We were all born into this lifestyle with the exception of Alice. However she had her visions to guide her. I think you and Jasper will find you have much in common."

"Me, too," I agreed, eyeing Carlisle out of my peripherals. I was glad to see his tensed shoulders and grim expression had slackened. I regretted bringing up what was apparently a painful topic for him.

I was looking forward to meeting Jasper. I might not have many physical scars from my time with James and Victoria, but I had enough mental and emotional ones to last me for the rest of my existence. I thought he might understand my predicament in a way none of the other Cullens could. They gave saintly a new meaning. Jasper might understand how out of place I felt in this household.

The steady thrum of Bella's heartbeat, pumping just feet away, reminded me that I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. For her I was willing to try. Lost to her, I leaned to kiss her forehead.

Esme grinned widely. "The two of you are just precious. Watching the way you interact with her is another testament to your character. I never want to hear you refer to yourself as tainted again, do you understand?"

I shrugged sheepishly, feeling juvenile for having said it in the first place. I didn't plan to waste any more time feeling sorry for myself when, as Esme and Carlisle had pointed out, I could be making changes for the future instead. From here on out, I was being given the opportunity to be a better version of myself.

The three of us sat in silence, me watching Bella and the Cullens watching me.

"I think I want to try hunting your way," I said finally.


	17. Playful

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Seventeen; Playful_

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN: **__Nothing too radical this chapter, but we're moving forward, slowly. Thanks to everyone who made it possible. Especially a big thanks to everyone who took the time to offer their opinions last chapter :)_

_A reviewer mentioned this story had been recced on livejournal, so whoever was responsible for that, thank you :) It thrills me to no end that someone thinks this story is worth sharing :)_

_On with the story…_

xx

I stretched languidly, opening my eyes slowly. They felt heavy. I fought to open then against the lingering rays of the setting sun that streaked through the window. Orange and red swirled across the backs of my eyelids. When I finally managed to force open one eye completely, I was met with warm butterscotch.

"Morning sunshine," Edward greeted affectionately. "How did you sleep? You were out for a couple of hours…"

I barely heard the question. "What's wrong with your eyes?" I mumbled groggily.

The drugs must have hit me harder than I'd realized for my thought processes to be so slow. After so many trips to the ER, I was surprised I wasn't immune to the drowsy effect of pain pills.

It was then I remembered why I'd taken pain medication in the first place. I'd broken my arm. Edward had come to my rescue. Dr. Cullen had patched me up and plied me with drugs. I'd told Edward I knew he was a vampire. Then he'd kissed me. Talk about an action packed hour. I was glad the drugs hadn't knocked the last memory right out of me. I planned on keeping that one for a long time.

"What do you mean?" Edward asked, a grin a mile wide stretched across his perfect features. With the setting sun forming a halo of golden light around him, he looked positively angelic. It was next to impossible to remember he was hard-wired to kill me when he looked like that.

"Are you wearing contacts?" I asked when my brain finally caught up with the present. Not that I was any less confused than before.

"No. You know I don't wear glasses. I have no need for contacts."

"That's not what I meant… I meant colour contacts. The colour of your eyes is different."

"Different how? My eyes have always been amber," he stated somberly, a pout replacing his smile. "You've never noticed what colour my eyes are?" He raised an eyebrow teasingly so I knew he wasn't really upset. "I would never, never forget the exact shade of brown your eyes are. In fact, I've pinpointed the exact shade: umber."

"Umber," I repeated stupidly, unsure what was going on. His eyes had been burgundy before. I was sure of it. Why would he lie about wearing contacts?

"Yes."

"Nice to know you've been paying attention," I said distractedly. "However, that doesn't explain why your eyes are... amber. They were burgundy before. In the meadow, sometimes I'd look at you, and they'd remind me of raspberries or red wine or something equally appetizing. Not that I drink much wine or like it for that matter, but…"

"You're rambling," he said gently, stopping me. "And I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about. My eyes are amber. They always have been."

"But you… you're a vampire. Vampires have red-tinted eyes. They have burgundy eyes, like you did," I asserted, panic beginning to lace my tone. I wasn't sure why, but the thought that Edward wasn't a vampire was scaring me. I knew it should have been the other way around, but if that memory wasn't real, who knew what else I'd imagined? The meadow? Port Angeles? The kiss? I didn't want it all to be an elaborate figment of my imagination.

"A vampire?" Edward looked like I'd just accused him of being the boogeyman. "Bella, I think the medication Carlisle gave you has had some unfortunate side effects. Perhaps you're hallucinating."

"What, no!" I snapped, anger taking the place of terror. "_I'm_ fine. You're a vampire."

"Bella..."

"No," I said firmly, not wanting to hear any more. "Just… no."

"Do you really think vampires exist?" He continued over my protests. "You must have had a very vivid dream and thought it was real…" His voice was soothing me and I hated it. He was wrong. He had to be.

My tear ducts stung, threatening to open the vaults. I stubbornly shut my eyes, willing them away.

"Did Carlisle give _you_ anything? Maybe you're the one forgetting," I countered hopefully. "It was real. I know it was. You have to be a vampire. Please try to remember."

"Bella, I'm not sure I know what you're talking about."

His serious face convinced me he meant what he was saying. Devastation ripped through me.

"How could I have dreamed something that seemed so real?" I whispered, distraught. "I remember so many stupid little details…"

To my astonishment he burst out laughing, the melodic strains floating over my head, along with most of our conversation. I stared at him in puzzlement, wiping away a stray tear that had managed to escape. I didn't see the humour in this at all.

"This is funny why?" I retorted, still irritated that my world had been turned on its side.

"I'm sorry. I can't believe I convinced you that you imagined it all..."

I glared at him when the realization set in.

"You were joking?" I couldn't help the pleading note in my voice. It very thinly masked the anger. If he had the gall to attempt to make me think I was crazy, I might have to punch him in the face for playing such a mean joke.

"I'm sorry, but when you asked about my eyes…" he trailed off sheepishly.

I sighed in relief. That apology was all the confirmation I needed. "Not funny, Masen," I growled.

He had the decency to look remorseful, his kicked puppy expression melting my anger significantly.

"I'm sorry. I thought… nevermind. Please don't hit me," He held my hands firmly in his. "I'd prefer you not bruise your hands." I smiled in spite of myself because he thought so much like I did. Except, apparently, I possessed a sense of tact.

"When I thought about what happened yesterday… the idea of it not happening… it scared me," I admitted. "You're right, you deserve to be hit." The threat was empty and we both knew it.

"You would never hit me. Would it make you feel better if I asked Alice to hit me on your behalf?" he asked earnestly. I found it sweet that he was willing to take a blow to make me feel better, even if it wasn't by my hand.

"Actually, it might. But the better question is how would Alice fare any better than I would?"

Edward grinned widely. "Because she's a vampire, too. All of the Cullens are."

I took a moment to let that sink in. It didn't take as long as I expected. Like with Edward, I'd always known there was something different about the Cullens. Strange eye colour aside, many of the things I'd found strange about Edward, were the same things I found odd about the Cullens. Now it made sense. They were all the same. No wonder Jake had been worried about me. My life was crawling with vampires.

Though I was slightly less trusting of the Cullens than I was of Edward, they'd all had plenty of opportunity to kill me and never had so much as given me a scratch. In fact, Dr. Cullen had healed more than a few of them for me, my broken arm included. If Edward trusted the Cullens enough to bring me to them for help, I trusted them too. Deciding to trust the Cullens by proxy might have been naïve, but something told me it was right. I trusted Edward's judgment… for the most part. Well, I had until he'd pulled that stupid prank I still wasn't quite ready to forgive him for.

"They taught me how to change my eyes to a more normal, human colour," he explained, peering at me with wide eyes. "So, what do you think? Does gold suit me?"

It really did.

If I thought he'd been beautiful before, I was wrong. The heart-melting golden butterscotch paired with the identical highlights in his hair... well, it gave pretty a new definition.

I shrugged, pretending to be indifferent. After the stunt he'd pulled, apathy was the least he deserved.

"Eh. I liked the burgundy better. It was more unique. Now you could pass for any old random guy on the street. Change them back, please."

His face fell, and I immediately felt horrible. Clearly what Edward lacked tact, he made up for in restraint. There was no way I could hold out on him when he looked at me like that. Or maybe my sad face just wasn't as convincing as his.

"But I can't," his tone was despondent. "Burgundy eyes aren't worth the price they cost. They're the eyes of a killer, Bella. I don't want to be that anymore. For your sake, as well as my own."

I felt even worse. A teeny tiny smidgen of satisfaction that I'd paid him back for his mean prank crept in. I ignored it.

"You sure know how to lighten up a conversation," I said lightly. "I was just kidding – payback, you know? – I think your eyes are amazing no matter what colour they come in."

"They used to be green when I was a human," he admitted quietly. I tried for a moment to picture what he would have looked like as a human, complete with sparkling green eyes. Still beautiful, I decided.

I shrugged indifferently. "They could be a rainbow gradient for all I care. I might miss the burgundy a teeny bit but I think the gold is gorgeous."

His eyes lightened and I was struck for a moment at just how very, very pretty their new gold shade actually was. I might even prefer them to the burgundy, which always seemed to have a hint of darkness lurking beneath. These eyes were warm and… well, pretty, but still very Edward.

I must have muttered the word out loud, because Edward muttered something about not being pretty, reminding me that he preferred the word handsome. As if anyone called eyes handsome.

"So you're okay with gold?" he asked shyly. With his eyelashes fluttering bashfully like that, I couldn't disagree. I wondered why he seemed to care what I thought so much. They were his eyes, not mine.

"More than okay with it," I agreed. "So, tell me, for real this time, what happened? Why are your eyes gold now? You said the Cullens had something to do with it?"

"They did. You know that thing that makes vampires what they are?" he asked solemnly.

I nodded somberly. "Blood. You drink blood." The liquid diet he had mentioned repeatedly snapped into sense. Despite this realization – something that should terrify me – I knew Edward better than that. He had carried my bleeding body ten miles to the Cullen house to save my life. If he wanted me for my blood, he could have had it already.

I sat patiently, holding his hand, waiting for him to explain. He curled his fingers around mine, drawing strength from the small connection.

"Most vampires drink human blood. Until recently that was all I knew existed." His eyes fixed on mine, imploring me to understand. "I didn't know there was another way. The Cullens have taught themselves to subsist on animal blood. I'd never heard of such a thing before… it wasn't something I'd even considered as a possibility. Their diet changes the colour of their eyes. Earlier, while you were sleeping, they showed me how they hunt. Since I've adopted their lifestyle, my eyes have changed as well."

"The burgundy colour was because you had human blood in your system, but since you've switched to animal blood, it turned your eyes golden?" I clarified. He nodded. "So you're saying that until very recently you used to kill people in order to survive?"

I didn't like the thought of him killing people in order to survive but I was selfish. I'd rather have those nameless faceless people die and get to keep Edward. I knew that I sounded like a horribly immoral, infatuated teenager for thinking that. I shoved the unwanted reflection to the back of my mind.

He nodded again. "Yes. About two weeks ago I was involved in an… incident, which made me see that killing, no matter who I choose as victims, isn't right. I haven't been able to hunt humans since. I no longer wish to live that way. I was fortunate to come across the Cullens when I did. If not for their alternative lifestyle, I fear I may have done something rash. It would have killed me to hurt you or another innocent human, simply because I was too thirsty to control my instincts."

I nodded silently, sensing he had more to say. I didn't want to interrupt his confession.

When he did continue, his voice was small and hesitant. "Please know, had I known before today that there was another option, I never would have done what I did. I've tried to live with discretion, picking victims that lived on the edges of society. Murderers, rapists, abusers… always men, always guilty of some unmentionable crime. I've never killed a woman or a child."

"Edward," I asked gently, "are you expecting me to be mad at you? I'm not. You did what you had to do to survive. You lived the best way possible with the options you were given. Humans kill animals to survive without a second thought. You shouldn't feel guilty because you're on top of the food chain. That's part of the cycle of life."

"It's different and you know it. Humans think differently than animals do. Their thoughts are more complex. They value life in a way animals can't or don't have the capabilities to."

"Maybe animals think just the way we do and we're not aware of it because we tell ourselves otherwise? Does it matter, anyway? You've changed, now. That's what's important."

"Trust me, that's not the case. There is a marked difference between human and animal thoughts. Human thoughts are actually the most civilized, believe it or not. There are exceptions, of course, but as a rule. Vampire thoughts, though more complex, are very reliant on instinct, like animals' are."

"How would you know?" I asked suspiciously. There was something about the straightforward, matter-of-fact way he stated the differences that didn't sit right.

He looked down at our joined hands sheepishly.

"I can read thoughts."

For a moment I could have sworn my blood ran cold. That confession terrified me more than when Edward had admitted that he drank human blood. I might have to get my survival instincts checked. Apparently they had an unusual set of priorities.

I fought the urge to pull my hands away from him and cover my face in what would undoubtedly be a futile effort to shield my thoughts from him.

I scanned back over the past weeks, thinking of all the mortifying things I'd thought in his presence. All the things about _him_ that had passed, unbidden, through my mind. He had to have known about my feelings for him for as long as I'd been feeling them. My cheeks burned bright.

"Do you – I mean, how…" I stuttered, unable to piece a sentence together in my humiliation.

Edward squeezed my hand encouragingly.

"Can all vampires read thoughts?" I managed finally.

"No. Only some vampires have special talents. Alice can see the future, for instance. Mine is the ability to read minds. You're different; your thoughts are completely silent. I can't read even the barest hint of feeling. Feelings are usually the easiest for me to read; they're the least complex."

I breathed a massive sigh of relief, thankful that my thoughts were still solely my own.

"Thank god for that. Is being unable to hear someone's mind uncommon?"

He looked chagrined. "Extremely. You're the only human I've ever come across that has had the ability to block me with any frequency. It's fascinating. Silence is an unheard of thing in my world. There are always thoughts buzzing somewhere."

A twinge of doubt filled the place my mortification had resided. Was that the only reason he liked me?

"Is that why you like being around me? Because you aren't constantly being barraged with my annoying thoughts?" I asked, unsure if I really wanted to know the answer.

He shook his head vigorously. "Of course not. You're beautiful and intelligent and so many other amazing things… your silent mind wouldn't even make the list of the top ten things I like about you. I often wish I _could_ read your mind. I want to know what goes on in that head of yours. You don't behave like I've come to expect humans to. Not knowing why you act the way you do… it's very frustrating."

"I'm sure you're not missing much," I countered doubtfully. "I'm not really anything special. Aside from the fact I apparently lack any sort of self-preservation."

He grinned, playing with my fingers shyly. "A fact which has benefited me immensely. It's not often that people enjoy my presence. Men are threatened by me. Women are easier to be around than men but they're always so focused on my appearance. Around you, I feel almost normal. Not like a monster or a piece of meat."

I flushed, wondering what he might think of me if he knew how beautiful I really thought he was. Would he think I was like all the other women who fawned over him?

"You're anything but normal. You're better. You can read minds and run faster than the wind. That's pretty cool." I laughed, remembering speeding through the woods in Edward's arms. Normal was not a word to describe him.

"And lift a car above my head," he added jokingly. "Maybe a house. You forgot that one."

My eyes widened. "You have superhuman strength, too?"

He nodded. "And hearing," he added nonchalantly as though it wasn't a big deal.

"Is there anything you can't do better than the average person? I'm feeling a little inadequate, here."

"You do realize that I can do those things because I'm a vampire, don't you? No one considers that better. Horrible and unfortunate are more fitting adjectives. I'd much rather I was human. Of course, that would mean I would have never met you."

My brow scrunched. "Why not?"

"I would have been dead long before you were born, that's why." I gaped at him in surprise. Sure, I'd teased him about his antiquated speech, but I'd never really considered he was anything but the age he'd told me. Of course vampires were immortal. I felt stupid for not making the connection.

"How old are you really?"

He offered me a wry half-smile. "Seventeen."

"And you've been seventeen since…?"

"1918."

"Wow," I breathed, doing some quick mental math. "You're 104 years old! I guess this explains why you act like an old man sometimes," I teased.

He shot me a sarcastic look. I ignored it, curiosity outweighing the need to smooth over my joke.

"If you don't mind me asking… how did you become a vampire?"

"I don't mind," he said quietly. "I'll answer any questions you have. I think I owe you as much."

He paused a moment before answering seriously. "I was dying during the second wave of the Spanish Influenza when I was changed by a vampire named Victoria. She has never told me why she picked me, but she did. She's not my sister, as I told you – that's our cover story – though I've come to think of her as one. Since we look somewhat alike, it was an easy connection to make. She and her mate, James, have adopted me as a sibling for the past 87 years."

"James…" I repeated the familiar name, trying to place it. "Your brother-in-law? The one who you fought with? You wouldn't show me the bruises…"

He shrugged innocently. "Because I didn't have any. Vampire skin heals very quickly and it's much stronger and more durable than human skin. It's essentially the consistency of diamond. Only very few things are capable of damaging it. Sometimes James and I have disagreements but he's very rarely left me with actual injuries, just a bite mark or two."

"He bit you?" I asked, horrified. "But if he's family why would he do that?"

"Vampires aren't like humans, Bella. Fighting and killing come naturally to us. I've always been a tame example of my kind. Mind-reading has made me conscious of others' pain. I prefer to avoid inducing harm when possible. However, if several vampires are trapped in a room together, a fight is more likely to brew than not. That's why it's rare for more than two or three vampires to travel together. It takes a great effort to fight against our baser instincts. We're territorial and violent."

"But you're not," I insisted. "You've been nothing but sweet and kind to me… I know you won't hurt me. I don't think you could, even if you wanted to."

He smiled slightly. "I appreciate your faith in me. I hope I'll never prove it to be misplaced. I care about you more than you could possibly understand. As long as I'm alive, you'll be safe."

His eyes darkened protectively at that admission. My stomach fluttered nervously at the display of dedication. I desperately wanted to tell him that I felt the same way, but I knew the promise to protect him would be empty. He was stronger than me in every way. My protection would be meaningless.

"I think I have a pretty good idea about how much you care," I said, dancing nervously around bringing up the kiss. I didn't want him to apologize or demonstrate regret but I didn't want to avoid the topic either. That would be like pretending it never happened and I definitely didn't want that.

"I meant it," he whispered, kissing my hair gently and making me wonder if he could read my mind after all. "Best few minutes of my life."

"Mine, too." I beamed at him, wrapping my arms around his waist, so couldn't back away. I pressed my face into his chest, inhaling the sweet, soothing scent. The bulk of my cast made the movement awkward but I couldn't care less. I was thankful I could still bend my elbow, at least. The full arm cast I'd landed myself in when I was in the third grade had been much worse.

Conscious of every nerve ending in my body, I dragged my hands upwards, settling them around the base of his neck. The texture of his hair, soft but strangely durable, brushed against my fingers. I pressed them more solidly into his hair, dragging them along the nape of his neck. He shivered, a sound I could only describe as a purr vibrating against my cheek.

"Bella…"

I lifted my eyes to his, stunned by the degree of longing I found there. He wanted this as badly as I did. That look erased all my previous anger, if any had managed to survive the wide-eyed puppy dog look. All I wanted was to kiss him.

I waited for further permission, tilting my face towards his. He eagerly closed the distance between us, pressing his lips gently against mine. His arms wound around me, both of us clutching one another close.

It was just as perfect as the first time. So different than what I'd expected kissing to be like. So different from when I'd practice kissing a pillow as a preteen. So different than romance novels promised. His lips were cool and unyielding but so velvety soft, it was hard to believe he was essentially made of stone.

"I love kissing you," I told him.

"The feeling is mutual," he whispered back, pressing his forehead against my hair, digging his nose into the unruly sleep-mussed waves and placing several lingering kisses against my neck.

"Is it hard for you to be this close to me?" I asked, genuinely worried. He didn't seem pained, but I was pretty sure Edward was the type to suffer in silence.

"Sometimes. It was harder in the beginning." I nodded, remembering how, at first, we would sit several feet away from one another in the meadow. "Your scent is intoxicating to me – more potent than anything I've ever come across – but that temptation is overridden by my need to feel close to you."

"Is that why you pulled away, then? Last week, when I tried to kiss you?" I asked, starting to put together the missing pieces of the puzzle. After all that Edward had told me today, a lot of the larger gaps had been filled in. I was only missing a few scattered pieces here and there. As time went on, I was sure I'd be able to fill those in, too.

He shook his head. "Not exactly. I was quite certain I could handle it… but it felt dishonest to kiss you, when you didn't know who, or rather what, I was. I didn't want you to regret it later. Vampires don't take rejection very well," he explained, his tone falsely light. His eyes told a different story.

"Neither do humans," I deadpanned. "I thought for sure that you thought I was hideous or something. In Port Angeles, I'd was positive that you were hinting that you felt the same way I did… so took a chance, only to find out that it was all in my overactive imagination."

"Definitely not," he frowned. "Do you have any idea at all how desirable you are? In Port Angeles, I could hardly go a minute without the indecent thoughts of teenage boys regarding you like some kind of prize. It was torture." He pulled a pained face. I couldn't help but laugh.

"You've got to be kidding me. Me? Are you sure they weren't thinking about someone else?"

"I'd recognize your face anywhere, Bella," he said flatly. "It was most certainly you. You don't give credit where it's due. I'm incredibly fortunate that you chose me to share this with. I know it and so did those boys."

"It wasn't a choice," I disagreed. "I know that probably sounds totally lame, but it's true. Once you stumbled into my world, literally, there was no turning back."

He looked sheepish. "You remember that?"

"I might be self-deprecating, but my memory works just fine," I teased. "You fell twenty feet out of a tree. Pretty hard to forget that. How could I forget the first time I saw the most beautiful person I've ever seen in real life?"

He frowned petulantly. "Handsome."

"I don't really understand your hang up with the word beautiful. Or pretty. You're both, so you might as well accept it. The sooner the better."

He grumbled something about James that I couldn't make out.

"Ugh. From what you've told me about James, I don't think his opinion counts for much, honestly. He seems like a jerk."

"I don't want to talk about James," he mumbled kissing my neck again. Out of the blue, he tensed. Pressing me into the corner of the sofa, he situated himself in front of me like a guard dog.

"Edward? What's going on?"

He didn't reply. Loud voices followed by scuffling in the foyer of the Cullen home alerted me of the threat that Edward had apparently sensed. One of the Cullens was talking calmly to someone who sounded very agitated.

"Edward?" I tried again, still without a response.

His reply was rendered unnecessary when Jacob, flanked by Sam and three of the others, burst into the room. Relief replaced wild urgency when his eyes landed on me.

Alice and Jasper flew into the room on their heels. "I'm so sorry, Edward," Alice apologized. "We tried to explain but they insisted on seeing her for themselves..."

"Fuck, Bella! Thank God you're alive," Jacob bellowed, charging towards me, only to be blocked by Edward.

"Don't touch her."

"She's my friend," Jacob returned icily. "I think I have the right to check if she's okay. We found her blood and your scent on one of the trails. Excuse us for being a little worried about her safety." He turned to me slightly hysterical. "Shit, what if you'd been killed? What would have we told Charlie?"

"Crap, my dad!" I groaned. Throughout this whole ordeal, I hadn't even thought about what I'd tell Charlie. It would be a little awkward to return home with a brand new cast and no prior explanation.

"Don't worry, Bella," Alice interjected calmly, from her place at the perimeter of the room. "Carlisle called your dad and let him know that you broke your arm hiking and that you're fine but planning to stay at my house overnight for a sleepover."

"A sleepover?" Jacob looked at me with wild eyes. "Are you kidding me? You can't stay here."

"Jacob, calm down," I pleaded. "Edward brought me here so Dr. Cullen could cast my arm." I held up the offending blue fiberglass. "See? I'm all patched up. I'm fine."

"So it appears," Sam nodded in agreement, though the discomfort didn't leave his eyes. "It looks like she's in perfectly good health, Jacob. We've done our duty and the Cullens haven't broken the treaty. We have no more business here."

"Haven't they?" Jacob sneered, glaring at Edward. "I'd say that one walked a pretty thin line. He may not have stepped foot on the reservation but he had to have known that land was as good as ours. He had no business being there."

Realizing that Edward wasn't going to make any attempt to defend himself, I did it for him.

"Would you rather I waited for you and the pack to come find me? It's been hours since I broke my arm," I snapped. "If you just realized I was missing now… well, I think I'd be as good as dead. You should be thanking Edward for saving me."

Jacob rolled his eyes. "People don't die from broken arms."

"They do if they've been stranded in the woods by their so-called friends and are bleeding profusely," Edward countered coldly. "If you'd hadn't abandoned her in the first place, this wouldn't be an issue."

"Was I talking to you?" Jacob growled, eyeing Edward distastefully. Jake turned his back on him, returning his eyes to me.

"We would have found you sooner but there were some complications. We couldn't go after… _him_," he paused to glare at Edward, "without Sam's permission, since he had ordered us not to previously. We had to go back to the reservation to find him. By the time we did…"

I returned his stare just as lethally. "As you can see, I'm fine. You can be on your way now, unless you'd like to yell at me or the person who saved my life some more? Or, here's a radical idea, you could calm down and talk to me like a rational human being."

"Bella… look, I'm sorry," he whined. "I was worried okay? When we found your blood and your truck abandoned… you have no idea how worried we were. I thought the worst."

He moved to step closer to me but was once again prevented from doing so by Edward, who stood from his seat in front of me on the couch, blocking Jacob from my view. "I've seen what can happen to innocent women when the Quileute get upset." His head tilted towards Sam who glanced at the carpet, remorseful. "Stay away from Bella until you've calmed down."

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Jacob seethed. "Bella's been my friend since we wore diapers. You think you need to protect her from me? You're the one she needs to be afraid of. If only she knew what you really are–"

"Jacob," Sam stated harshly, silencing Jake mid-sentence, presumably because he was about to reveal something I wasn't supposed to know. Except, I did.

I sighed. "It's okay. I know. I figured it out when I broke my arm. Edward and the Cullens… they're the cold ones, from your legends. You don't need to worry, they won't hurt me. They're not like the legends say they are. They're different."

Sam exhaled loudly, his voice much calmer than Jacob's. "We know. That's why we've agreed to keep the peace with the yellow eyes. We see your Edward has made the change. Jacob knows, now that Edward is a yellow eyes, that he intends you no harm. But he's young and irrational." Jacob snorted at that description of himself. "Sometimes his emotions get the better of him."

"Right. Says the one who permanently disfigured his imprint," Jake muttered testily.

Sam smoothly rounded on him, his stance frigid but deadly. "Watch your mouth, Black. It's true, I was once young and inexperienced myself. I've done things I regret. I suggest you rein yourself in before you do something _you'll _regret. Nothing is amiss here. There's no use stirring up trouble where none exists."

He motioned to Embry, Jared and Paul, all of whom had followed the exchange mutely. Just as silently, they turned to follow Sam out of the room. Alice and Jasper followed them, quietly escorting them out of the Cullen house.

Only Jacob lingered behind, grinding his teeth anxiously. It was clear he was just barely holding onto his anger. He waited until the footsteps of his pack-mates faded, the front door slamming in their wake.

"Are you happy?" he asked finally, his tone more controlled than before. He spared a short penetrating glance in Edward's direction, before turning a softer stare in mine.

I shrugged, unsure how to respond.

"I'm not blind. I can see the way you're looking at the guy." He glared at Edward again. "I'll be the first to admit that I don't like it… but I want you to be happy. If he does that for you, I guess I can make peace with it. I won't promise to like him but I'll try to, you know, not kill him."

I rolled my eyes at the poor attempt at peacemaking. "I'd appreciate that. I don't want to fight with you anymore, but lately you've been difficult to get along with. I'm not asking you to like my other friends but I am asking that you accept that they're my friends. If I can make friends with a werewolf, surely making friends with a vampire can't be that much worse?"

"Yeah, if that's all it was…" Jacob muttered under his breath.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Jacob sighed in irritation, his gaze darting between me and Edward. "Are you really going to make me say it? We both know it's not necessary. You smell like vampire and not just because you're in a house infested with them. Look, you're one of my best friends… I want to be sure you know what you're getting into. He hasn't forced you into doing anything you didn't want to?" The way he said it was almost hopeful, like being coerced was the more acceptable option.

"No, Jake."

"Okay, cool." It didn't sound like he thought it was cool at all, quite the opposite.

"You said you wanted me to be happy."

"I do," he agreed grudgingly.

"Well, I am. Please don't ruin it for me."

He sighed in a long-suffering way. "You know I wouldn't. Even if you do smell like the undead."

xx

_Thank you to everyone who took the time to tell me the direction they were looking forward to seeing in this fic go, in the reviews for the last chapter. I feel more sure about where I want to take Edward and Bella on their journey now, so thanks for the input!_

_However there was one important point of dissonance: Nessie. Some have asked when she'll make an appearance, others have asked that she not be included under any circumstances. Unlike a lot of people, I have nothing against Nessie or the BD canon. I liked Edward and Bella as parents, but I'm not dead set on including a hybrid vampire baby. I know I'm not going to make everyone happy with this, so… I'm going to go with the majority. If you feel strongly one way or another about Edward and Bella being parents… let me know. I'll keep a tally until the point where an appearance of a baby one way or another would be necessary. Seems like the most fair way to decide the fate of Edward and Bella's kid in the face of some very opposing opinions._

_A few people also expressed concern about a Jacob/Bella/Edward love triangle. Not in this story. Edward and Bella will have enough to deal with without Jacob butting in. This chapter contains the extent of Jacob's interference in Edward and Bella's relationship. He is her friend and will not pursue anything more, though he will continue to care about her and dislike Edward (purely on wolf principle, of course). He wants her to be happy and that means growing up a bit and putting her feelings first._


	18. Confrontational

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Eighteen; Confrontational_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_**AN:**__ Thank you to everyone who took the time to vote in my little poll despite the extreme moodiness of this past week :) The ratio of baby lovers to baby haters are much closer than I would have ever expected. Half of you are going to be happy, and half not so much, no matter what happens :P Either way, I hope you'll stick this story out until the end, until you write it off, I'll try my best to take into consideration the various comments from both sides, regardless of the road Edward and Bella find themselves travelling :)_

_This chapter isn't much, but hopefully it's enjoyable. I didn't get in as much of my outlined chapter content, as I wanted, so we're looking at a few EPOV chapters in a row (at least two). From here on out, the content will be much more Edward-centric, since his side of the story – with James and Victoria, and his adjustments to the veggie vamp lifestyle will take the forefront. Bella will still get her say every once in a while, though :)_

xx

I sighed in annoyance as Jacob settled stiffly onto the sofa, Bella wedged between us like a human divider.

I wrapped an arm around her affectionately. She leaned into me, not complaining when I used the momentum to drag her closer to my side of the sofa. She rolled her eyes at my attempt at staking claim. I shrugged back sheepishly. I could tell by the pink hue of her cheeks that she liked it, so I wasn't too worried about incurring her wrath.

Jacob crossed his arms and slumped into the couch, still much too close to Bella for my liking. I only allowed him that proximity because his emotions were level for the time being. He was tense but not angry. If he so much as showed a twinge of annoyance, I would kick him off the couch faster than he could blink.

I wasn't sure why he was here at all.

More than once his thoughts had darted to how uncomfortable he was being left alone in a house of vampires. He could have left with his pack of mutts. He had chosen to stay.

We all faced the TV, watching a rerun of some nineties' sitcom that none of us were really paying any attention to. Finally, Bella broke the silence.

"Jacob, is this really necessary?" she sighed, her tone terse. "You don't need to babysit me. I'm older than you are. I think I can take care of myself."

"Age has nothing to do with your ability to protect yourself from _them_." He glared at me as he spat out the last word.

She stared at him stubbornly. "I don't need to be protected. I trust Edward, and you're going to have to trust me."

"What are you saying? That you don't care if one of them bites you?" Jacob growled, his face turning pink with repressed irritation. He was treading dangerously close to getting kicked off the couch.

"That's not what I said," she snipped back, her stance defiant. "Don't put words in my mouth. It's none of your business what I choose to do with my life, anyway."

Pride swelled. This beautiful, fragile girl was sitting between a vampire and a werewolf, yelling at the latter. If I hadn't been hers already, that show of feistiness would have sealed the deal.

"Fine. I said I would try to be happy for you. I meant it… but please don't do anything stupid." He jerked his head in my direction. "I've met his friends, and worse, their discarded victims."

"I have no intention of introducing Bella to James and Victoria," I interrupted, emphatic. It was important to me that he understand as much. I would ensure Bella was not in danger because of her association with me. "You're right to think they're dangerous. I assure you Bella is and will continue to be safe under my watch."

"James and Victoria?" Jacob sneered in disgust. "Lovely. They have names. As if anyone could get close enough to address them personally anyway. Psycho One and Psycho Two would be more fitting."

"I'm not defending their behaviour," I conceded. "Their actions have been inexcusable."

"What did they do?" Bella interjected curiously.

Jacob face twisted in disgust, a look I was certain I mirrored. When it was clear Jacob had no intention of answering, I did. I knew more of the specifics anyway, not that I'd ever share a fraction of the horrific things I'd witnessed with Bella.

"They're not very discretionary when they hunt," I admitted. "They like to play with their food before they eat it."

Bella's face dropped in shock as realization dawned. "While they're still alive?" she muttered. I was fairly certain she didn't want to hear the answer to her question, not that I would have willingly supplied it. "Why do you stay with them knowing how horribly they treat people?"

I looked at my lap, fisting the hand that wasn't tucked around Bella. "I didn't realize it was unusual for vampires to behave that way. When I would mention that I thought something they had done was excessively cruel I was always told I only thought so because I didn't hunt like a normal vampire." I shrugged helplessly. "We crossed paths with other vampires who never had such gruesome stories to share, so I suppose it should have been obvious to me."

"Damn right," Jacob muttered under his breath.

"But it wasn't," I continued over Jacob. "I wanted to believe them. They're all I've known since I was a newborn. I trusted them foolishly."

Bella kissed my cheek consolingly. "I think it's sweet you gave them the benefit of the doubt. It indicates what kind of person you are. It's not your fault they're horrible."

I shrugged indifferently. I didn't think my naïve view of James and Victoria's hunting habits said anything positive about my character. At best I was desensitized. At worst, I was as bad as they were for not interfering.

"Speaking of giving people the benefit of the doubt…" Jacob groused, sarcasm infused in his tone.

"You said you'd trust me, Jake," Bella grumbled.

"I never said I'd trust you," he countered with a massive smirk. "I said I wanted you to be happy. Big difference."

Bella shot him the evil eye. "Whatever. Either option involves you trusting me to be alone with Edward. So why don't we give it a trial run? You leave. And, if you absolutely need to, you can come back tomorrow to make sure I'm still alive." She crossed her arms defiantly, daring him to challenge her.

"Yeah right," he mumbled insolently.

"Fine. If you don't like that… we could do what we were planning to do once you left, right now." Grinning sideways at Jacob, she crawled into my lap and pecked me seductively on the neck.

I knew she was doing it just to irritate Jacob into leaving but I shivered anyway. It didn't matter the reason. Her lips were on my neck. It was the first time she'd kissed me there. I knew I'd be asking her to do it again, very soon; the soft warmth of her against the sensitive skin felt amazing.

"Uh, no thanks. I'm good. I'm just gonna watch TV."

He turned his head back towards the Cullens' massive 50-inch flatscreen, trying very hard to concentrate on the dialogue but failing miserably. His thoughts inevitably shifted back to Bella splayed on top of me.

When she moved to pull away, I coiled an arm around her waist, holding her in place. I liked this new seating arrangement. Jacob would have to live with it. She rested her head against my chest but turned her face towards him. Her long brown tresses tickled through the thin fabric of my shirt as she moved.

"Why are you being such a pain in the ass?" she growled after a moment of glowering at Jacob. "Sam and the rest of the pack left, after, like, five minutes. Obviously they think I'm in capable hands or they wouldn't have left. Why are you stuck on me like a sock out of the dryer?"

Jacob muttered inaudibly, his thoughts focusing on Bella and I with an undertone of irritation. He thought she had nerve to accuse him of being clingy when she was crawling all over me.

"I couldn't hear you," Bella sighed.

"_I said:_ I don't think I'm the one stuck on someone."

"Okay. Enough is enough," Bella rolled her eyes. "What's this _really_ about? I mean it. I know I'm safe, you know I'm safe. I'm sick of you being whiny and annoying."

Jacob pouted, annoyed that Bella had played the "no bullshit" card. His thoughts oscillated between telling the truth and making up something less embarrassing. He eventually settled on the truth.

"You're the first girl I could ever see myself with… you know… romantically," he admitted, colour crawling up his neck.

"Jake…"

"I get that it's not going to happen," he continued in a rush. "You're not my imprint. I don't want you to go through what Sam and Leah did. That wouldn't be fair to you, me, or my future imprint… but it's weird watching you rush off into the arms of a vampire. I know you can't be with me. I know you're not even picking him over me, since we never happened… but I still care about you. It stings a little. I don't want you to end up undead. We'd be natural enemies, then. I'd never see you."

I'd known of Jacob's minor attraction all along, but it was news to Bella. She seemed torn between relief the truth was out and wanting to defend "us" to him. I stroked her shoulder in reassurance, stopping her from responding to Jacob's concerns. She'd defended me enough. If he didn't grasp how much I cared about her by now he never would.

I need to explain to him, in my own words, how I felt. Maybe then he would understand I had no ill intentions. I knew he wouldn't be receptive to the concept of Bella being my mate, nor was I prepared to explain that to him, but perhaps I could offer him enough to assuage his worry that Bella ending up dead was inevitable.

"I care about Bella a great deal. I've sworn to never hurt her," I explained, my tone neutral. The last thing I needed was for him to think I was being condescending. "You bemoan my kind but you don't seem to know very much about us. When we make promises, we hold them sacred."

"You're not perfect. If there was an accident…" Jacob interjected, annoyed.

"When I vowed to Bella that she would be safe around me, I meant it," I declared. "I'd rather die than see her hurt. You say you were terrified when you found her blood in the woods? Well, I assure you, I felt the same way. Only I had to see it happen. I watched her stumble, unable to do anything to prevent it. I heard her arm break and smelled her blood fill the air. Those are memories I will never be able to erase. I will do anything necessary to prevent the creation of similar memories."

"But what if she chooses to…?" He left the question open-ended but it was clear he was talking about only one thing: Bella becoming a vampire.

"That's her choice. I won't impede her decision if I feel it's something she wants. However, it's not something I would encourage her to do, especially not so soon. She's only just been introduced to my world. It's hardly time for her to think about integrating herself into it."

"Thanks for talking about me as if I'm not here," Bella joked, poking me in the shoulder.

I smiled at her, offering her my most charming crooked smile and tugged on a lock of chestnut hair affectionately. She smiled back brightly. I was becoming quite skilled at manipulating fickle human emotions, if I did say so myself.

"He's right," she told Jacob. "I don't think becoming a vampire is something I would consider right now."

Jacob grimaced slightly when she tacked "right now," on the end of that sentence, but managed to sound somewhat positive when he said, "I guess I can't ask for much more than that. If you change your mind – and I'm not saying you should – you'll tell me? So I can say goodbye?"

Bella rolled her eyes affectionately. "You think I'd ditch you and not even say goodbye? I put up with you every summer for sixteen years. You won't get rid of me that easily. I stuck by you when you told me you were a werewolf, didn't I?"

Jacob shrugged pretending to be indifferent. His warm thoughts told a different story.

"As long as you're not going to fall off the face of the earth…"

"I'm not."

He shifted uncomfortably. "Well… I guess I'll be going then. I don't think I can stand this place a minute longer, even for you, Bella. It reeks."

Her brow scrunched and she inhaled the air around her. "What are you talking about? It smells nice in here. Sweet… like flowers."

"It smells like your boyfriend," Jacob said distastefully.

Bella glanced at me through her hair, flushing adorably. I offered a small grin. I hoped that was an indicator that she liked that descriptor. We hadn't talked about it yet but it was something I was looking forward to; I wanted to know for certain she was mine, as I was already hers.

"So? I think Edward smells really nice."

"You would," Jacob muttered dryly. "He smells like a vampire… Like burnt sugar and melting plastic mixed in the most offensive way possible."

"Didn't you say you were planning to leave?" I cut in flatly.

"Yeah, yeah." He shuffled off the couch. Halfway out of the room, he turned to shoot a semi-hopeful look in Bella's direction. "Seeya later?"

She smiled freely. "Later."

"So… now that we've been absolved of our babysitter, what should we do?" she asked once the sound of the door closing in the next room alerted us he had finally left the premises. Her arms tightened around my neck letting me know exactly what she had in mind.

I pulled her closer. "I kind of liked where we were before," I teased. "It's too bad Jacob left. I liked your methods of getting a point across."

She ducked her head under my chin, embarrassed. I nuzzled against her, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple. The soft strawberry scent wafting from her hair was appealing but the furthest thing from food I could imagine. It was tempting in an entirely different way.

"That was just an added bonus. I'd be happy to continue where we left off?" she offered, pressing her lips to my chin. I hummed. "I love it when you make that sound," she mumbled. "…Like a purring cat."

My reply was cut off by an angry voice floating from upstairs. I'd been tuning out the murmur of thoughts from the Cullens until now but it was hard to miss the argument between Alice and Rosalie.

Their voices broke the calm that had settled in the room. Bella probably wouldn't be able to make out the words but she had to be able to hear the disturbance. It was difficult to tune out; Rosalie's murderous tone was loud and clear.

"Really Alice! You're telling me where I can and cannot go in my own home? I don't think so. I stayed away while they played with their pet doggies but the mutts are gone now. I don't care what the fuck they're doing! If they don't want to be seen, they can LEAVE."

In contrast to the Rosalie's rage filled thoughts, Alice's were meek. She was trying to be the voice of reason but Rosalie was having none of it.

"Rose, I'm not asking to punish you. They're–" Alice didn't get a chance to finish the sentence. Rosalie was done listening.

Several loud crashes later – I assumed they were footsteps – a tornado of blonde flashed through the room, landing directly in front of Bella and me.

"Hi, Rosalie," Bella said shyly, looking up at her wide-eyed. "Is something wrong? We heard yelling…"

"Yes, something's wrong," Rosalie said icily. "First my life is put on the line for someone I don't give a fuck about and then my meddling sister informs me that I've been restricted access to this area of my house because of _you_. Well, looks like she was wrong because here I am."

Rosalie glared at Alice, who had followed her into the room.

"We didn't mean to impose," Bella said quietly, sliding herself off my lap, and onto the couch next to me. I tucked her under my arm. With Rosalie as angry as she was, I wanted Bella close, in case it was necessary to shield her from Rosalie's fury. "We can leave…"

"Rosalie!" Alice hissed. "Edward and Bella are our guests. All I asked was that you give them a little privacy! I didn't think it was an unreasonable request."

"So they're our guests now?" Rosalie mocked. "How come you didn't involve me in this decision? Perhaps I'm not comfortable having strangers living in my home."

"They're not permanent guests and you know it," Alice snapped. "We thought you'd be able to handle twenty-four hours. _Clearly_ we were mistaken."

I stood, pulling Bella up from the couch as well and guiding her behind me. With my considerable height, she was completely obscured from Rosalie's nasty stares.

Rosalie glared at me spitefully instead. "Oh, how sweet. Protecting your little pet."

"Don't talk about things you don't know," I snapped acerbically, just barely managing to refrain from flexing my hand into a fist. I was prepared to punch Rosalie if she continued; it didn't matter if she was female. No one had any right to talk to or about Bella like that.

I turned to Bella, who looked stricken, hoping to reassure her that Rosalie's petty words meant nothing. She smiled at me weakly, mumbling that she was fine.

Apparently Rosalie didn't possess the same restraint I had mustered. She would have taken a swing at me if it weren't for Alice's premonition of the event. Alice clutched Rosalie's arm in a death grip. For someone so small, she was surprisingly strong.

"Don't even think about it." Alice's tone was eerily calm but there was no mistaking the intensity behind it. Even Rosalie, mulish to the extreme, didn't dare disobey. "This is ridiculous! Tell me you did not think about punching Edward?"

"He had it coming!" Rosalie snapped insolently.

"Alice, it's okay," I cut in, before she could respond to Rosalie. "Bella and I appreciate you inviting us to stay and I'll be eternally grateful for everything that you and Dr. Cullen have taught me but perhaps it would be wise for us to leave now. It's clear that we've outstayed our welcome."

Rosalie smirked smugly. _When you're making out on our couch, damn straight you have…_

"Edward, please, ignore Rosalie. She's irrationally upset." She glared at her sister. "You can't go back to James and Victoria. I've had visions. It's not safe. I'm still in the process of trying to work out the best option. There are so many things to consider, I need more time."

"Staying here doesn't seem much safer at the moment," I countered, returning Rosalie's scowl. " I think I'll take my chances with James. At least I expect it from him and Bella doesn't need to be involved."

"We can go to my father's study," Alice suggested persuasively, ignoring Rosalie's sour face. "Let Rosalie do whatever it was that was so crucial in the living room. I know there were a few things he wanted to say to you before you left."

I looked to Bella, silently asking her permission. If she wanted out of this house, we would leave the moment the command left her lips. I wouldn't blame her if she did. A furious vampire was not a pleasant sight. She smiled reassuringly at me proving, once again, how brave she was. I wasn't so sure if I had been human that I would have be willing to remain at the same address as a spiteful vampire.

"If Dr. Cullen has something to say to you, you should hear him out," she reasoned. "And if Alice says it isn't safe for you to leave…" Her brow puckered, worry creasing her forehead. "I don't want you getting hurt. She would know, right? If she can see the future?"

I nodded my consent, following Alice out of the room and away from Rosalie. I kept myself as a barrier between Bella and Rosalie at all times as we retreated upstairs.

Rosalie's grumbled complaints followed us up. "Great. Now it smells like human in here," she sniffed, plopping into the couch Bella and I had abandoned. "How am I supposed to watch _Gilmore Girls_ without wanting to kill something?" The sounds of her shuffling for the remote followed.

Alice sighed, stopping outside of Carlisle's study. She knocked on the door, gesturing for us to enter, even before Carlisle affirmative answer drifted through the wood.

"I'm sorry," Alice said as we filed into the room after her. She shut the door behind us. Though it would be a flimsy barrier between us and Rosalie, it was better than none at all.

_Rosalie hasn't been adjusting to your presence in our lives very well. My father thinks she might be feeling threatened, _she added silently, presumably so Rosalie wouldn't hear.

Bella shrugged dismissively. "It's okay. Edward said you guys are territorial. It's understandable Rosalie would feel like we're invading her space."

Carlisle looked up from a laptop, where he was sorting through what appeared to be a financial portfolio. "It's true, we are territorial creatures. However Rosalie's anger is fueled by more complex emotions," he said quietly, clearly aware that Rosalie might be listening in.

She wasn't. She was absorbed in her show, contemplating who would make a better mate, Jess or Dean.

"Jealousy – even in such a basic form – isn't something she's accustomed to dealing with," he continued.

Alice laughed. "That's putting it lightly. I can't wait until… nevermind. If you know, it won't work out the way it's supposed to."

I didn't bother ask for clarification. After only a few hours, I found myself accustomed to Alice's fondness for being vague. At first it had irritated me to no end but I'd quickly realized that trying to be one step ahead of the future was no easy task.

Trying to separate reality from what had yet to happen based on hundreds upon hundreds of uncertain images was too much for me to attempt to comprehend. I had a new respect for Alice and the ease with which she dealt with her gift. Knowing the thoughts of every individual around me – other than Bella, of course – was enough for me. I would let the future come as it might.

Carlisle smiled, bemused. "Alice… let's not put so much pressure on Edward. You know that sometimes life works out differently than you expect, for various reasons."

"No pressure. Just hoping," she assured with a secret smile.

"The shenanigans of my more impetuous daughter aside, there was something I wanted to talk to you about, Edward," Carlisle said seriously. "I hope you don't mind sitting in on the conversation, Bella? Now that you know about us?"

She shook her head. "I think I can handle it. Most of my closest friends and acquaintances aren't what would be considered normal, and neither am I, to be perfectly blunt. I find it fascinating, actually."

Carlisle grinned, addressing Bella warmly. "I'm glad to hear that, as I'm sure Edward is. I'm certain he would hate the thought of you being uncomfortable in the least." He then turned to me, his thoughts rolling over my newly changed eye colour and how it suited me. "And you? Now that my children have sufficiently introduced you to our way of life… how do you feel?"

I smiled politely. "I feel good about it, sir. It was very kind of your family to show me the ropes. My first hunt wasn't what I expected but after some practice, I'm sure I'll become much more adept."

Carlisle laughed warmly. "No need to be so formal, son. I'm only a few years older than you, physically, anyway. I only ask because I know it can't be an easy adjustment. Jasper went though a great deal of culture shock, so to speak, when he made the change."

I nodded. "I've spoken with Jasper and we both agree that my acclimation will likely to be easier than his, given my discretionary hunting in the past. I'm accustomed to restraint. This lifestyle requires more, of course, but it's a shorter leap."

Carlisle nodded. "I'm sure you're right. You showed no small amount of control, carrying Bella while she was injured."

I shrugged. It hadn't seemed like a choice at the time. Bella's arms tightened around my waist; her silent way of showing her appreciation for the pain I had endured for her safety.

"Adjustment is only a small part of what I wanted to talk to you about. The future…" he continued, trailing off. His thoughts were murky, undulating between concern and hesitance. "Have you given any thought to where you will go from here?"

"I'm committed to keeping up with this lifestyle, if that's what you're asking," I offered honestly. "With Bella in my life, I can't imagine going back to hunting humans. Nor, do I think I could, even if she wasn't. It's the alternative I always wished I had."

"I'm glad to hear that but that wasn't what I meant. In terms of… living arrangements?" he asked tentatively. "Do you have any plans?"

"I haven't given it much thought, but I suppose I'll go back to James and Victoria for the time being," I admitted. "Until they leave Forks at least. I know you don't agree with their hunting practices. Frankly neither do I, but after so many years together I owe them an explanation before I distance myself from them. As long as they're in town, I plan to keep them away from Bella. Avoiding them entirely seems like it could be unnecessarily offensive."

"Their hunting practices are the least of the reasons we dislike James and Victoria," Alice interrupted quietly. "They're not normal, Edward. You can't tell them you're planning to separate from them and expect them to accept it and move on. They think of you as their property. Your gift has cash value. It would be a fight to the death."

"I think I know them better than you do," I said coldly. "Two weeks as a newborn, spent lurking in the shadows, hardly qualifies you to make judgments of character."

"After nearly a century, you're not doing much better," she snapped back. "I'm trying to help you. I want you to make it out of this alive. If you go back to them without a plan, you'll end up dead. I've been trying to figure out the best way to keep you alive, and get you what you want. But before I can do that, I need to know what exactly it is you want."

Her condescending tone made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end and all of my defensive hackles rise with them. Only Bella's presence kept the last modicum of calm I had left from taking flight.

"No fighting, please," Carlisle said sternly. "We're all rational adults. We can talk about this calmly."

"Edward," Bella interjected, leveling her wide brown eyes on me. I was immediately sold, even without hearing what she had to say. "No offense or anything, but based on what you've told me about James and Victoria, they sound like world-class jerks. You're kind of blind when it comes to them. I think you should listen to Alice. If you end up dead, because you're being stubborn… Please?"

My resolve crumbled with that one word.

"Okay," I grunted, eyeing Alice skeptically. "I'm listening."

"If you tell James and Victoria you're planning to leave now, they won't react well," she explained, images of my future death floating through her mind. "I can see them reacting better further down the line. I can't determine what changes since it's too far into the future. I can clearly see you saying goodbye to James, both of you without anger."

"Okay," I repeated. There wasn't anything for me to add. Bella squeezed my hand reassuringly.

"My best guess is that this switch occurs two or three weeks from now, maybe a month. It's rare for me to have visions any further in the future than that, unless they're a relative certainty. Too many things are still undecided. It's rare that I see James and Victoria, anyway. They're proficient at shielding, I think. I almost never see Victoria. James is only marginally easier. I'll know better when the time nears, hopefully. "

"So you're saying that I have to put off telling James and Victoria for a month?"

"Yes," she confirmed. "But there's a catch. Until then… you're going to need these." She dug in one of the drawers of Carlisle's desk, producing a pair of wayfarers and a box that read "WildEyes" in bold letters. "They're not as dark as yours usually are… but they're the best I could find on the market. The sunglasses will help." Her thoughts indicated some amusement but she kept a straight face.

"Wait a second…" I challenged, once I caught on to her intentions. "You want me to wear contacts that people pretending to be vampires wear on Halloween?" I asked. "Are you kidding me? I _am_ a vampire. This is ridiculous."

"Just when you're around James and Victoria." She shrugged sheepishly.

"Can't I just tell them I changed my diet? They'd accept that much. It's not a far leap from hunting criminals…" I suggested hopefully.

"Not an option," she said firmly, the command leaving no room for argument. "Make sure you wear the sunglasses whenever possible. I got you the darkest ones I could find, but your eyes might be just barely visible. Hopefully they won't be able to see the rims of the contacts through them. Mirrored shades would have been preferable, but I saw you would reject those outright." She pouted, upset that I was unwilling to let her choose more fashionable accessories. "And attempt to keep your eyes diverted, when possible. I'd suggest wearing a baseball cap as well, but I can see that suggestion would go the way of the mirrored sunglasses. You're awfully protective of your hair…"

Bella giggled. "You have to admit it's a little bit funny. I can't wait to see you in your contacts. Though, I have to admit, I do kind of like the sunglasses…" she teased, putting them on and pouting like a runway model.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up…" I mumbled. "It might be easier to just kill myself now. Save the hassle and the humiliation."

"Oh, stop being such a drama queen," Alice scolded. "Bella's going to think they're sexy."

At that admission Bella sobered, growing just as embarrassed as I was. "Thanks for bringing me into this," she muttered, her cheeks pink.

Carlisle watched us all interact, sitting comfortably his armchair. I got the distinct impression that he found the three of us amusing.

"Fine," I snipped. "I'll wear them but I won't be happy about it."

"I wasn't expecting you to," Alice said brightly. "But it's a step in the right direction. Look at the silver lining: do this for a couple weeks, and you'll be rid of – as Jacob so accurately called them – 'psycho one' and 'psycho two' forever."

"Yeah," I agreed, slightly wistful. They hadn't always been so horrible.

"A part of you is going to miss them," Bella guessed correctly.

"I suppose," I confessed grudgingly. I felt horrible admitting it, knowing what I did, but in nine decades of interaction, there were bound to be some good times. "They're not all bad, you know? We had some good times. I'm looking forward to starting this new chapter, but a tiny part of me is going to mourn the close of the last one."

Bella leaned more heavily into me, allowing the warmth of her presence to soothe me. It was strange, how after less than a day of this new intimacy she seemed to know exactly what I needed and when.

I felt awful that I was dragging her into all these changes in my life but I hoped they were ultimately for the better. Regardless of how quickly it had developed, I cherished it. It was nice to know there was someone there, waiting to offer comfort when it was needed.

"I think you'll be surprised how smooth the transition is," Alice supplied. "We'll be here to help you. Speaking of… since you're going to be spending a lot of time with Bella and the Fairmont is quite a distance away. Esme and I took the liberty of converting one of our guest rooms into a room for you, just in case you need a place to shower and change after seeing Bella. Or if you don't want to go back to James and Victoria for the night. It's yours. I've stocked it with a full wardrobe, since you'll be needing freshly laundered clothes. My selections might be a little more contemporary than what you're used to but Bella will like it."

"I've noticed a pattern," I said dryly. "Do you think just because you tell me that Bella will like something that I'm going to bend over backwards to accept it?"

Alice looked at me flatly, like I was the one being ridiculous. "Yes. Because you will."

Bella grinned. "I think it's sweet you care so much about my opinion. Even if I didn't know it was my opinion until Alice said so."

"_Anyway_…" Alice continued, "Esme will be offended if you rebuff her attempt to make you feel welcome. She decorated the room using sketches I drew of your childhood bedroom in Chicago. I saw you going back there in a vision once. She thought it might make you feel more at home."

"As much as it unsettles me how much you know about me… thank you. I appreciate it. It's certain to be more convenient than Seattle."

"No prob," Alice beamed. "It was our pleasure. By the way, just so you know, Bella's going to love the bed, too." She winked.

Bella's fingertips dug into my waist, her heated cheek burning against my chest at that comment. I stroked her hair, soothing her.

Life with the Cullens was going to be interesting.


	19. Instinctive

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and future sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Nineteen; Instinctive_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_**AN: **__Yeah, so it's been a while… but hopefully it was worth the wait. I've been transitioning to a new job, and Twilight fanfiction got pushed to the side for a bit, but I'm going to attempt to return to the once a week-ish schedule of before._

_The hunting scene is for Hyphenann who asked quite awhile ago to see Edward's first hunt. It's not quite that, but hopefully enjoyable nonetheless :)_

_Thank you to readers and reviewers, I always look forward to hearing your opinions :)_

xx

"I don't know about this," I grumbled, perching on the edge of the bed I'd just tucked Bella into. "It seems farfetched." I eyed the contacts sitting on the night table distastefully.

Bella sat up, the golden sheets falling around her waist. She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her chin on her knees. She looked so cute and innocent, curled into a ball on the huge bed I couldn't help but lean to kiss her forehead. She beamed at me, tilting her face upward, asking for another kiss. I immediately complied, ignoring the burning sensation in my throat.

"Maybe a little," she mumbled once we pulled away. "But it won't kill you to put a little faith in Alice. She cares about you. She's acting with your safety in mind."

After the Cullens had left Bella and I to retreat to the bedroom they had graciously provided, most of the night had been spent answering Bella's endless questions, which had involved repeating the sordid story of Alice's entrance into this world and our shared history.

"Sure," I interjected wryly. "People who care always command their loved ones like drill sergeants."

I was thankful that Alice was downstairs, apparently being distracted by Jasper. As much as she was driving me crazy, I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I supposed maybe I cared about her a little bit, too, no matter how intolerable she was being.

"She might have an unusual way of showing it," Bella conceded, "but it's clear she does. She doesn't want to see you hurt any more than I do… and if she says this will work, I think you should trust her."

Worry creased the corners of her eyes. An intense need to make it go away filled me. I didn't want Bella to worry I was going to do something stupid or recklessly put myself in danger. I wasn't. No matter how much Alice's harebrained schemes irritated me, I did have some faith in her gift. Not much, but enough to avoid acting against her suggestions.

"Perhaps I deserve to be committed for saying so, but I think I already do. She has a way of working herself into your life rather quickly, doesn't she?"

"Yeah, it's really quite freaky. One Spanish project and then you're stuck with her," Bella drawled humorously. She continued in a softer voice. "It won't be forever, you know. Alice said a couple of weeks, a month at most. It's not the best solution but it's better than the alternative."

"No, I know," I agreed, "I don't want to incur James or Victoria's wrath. If Alice says there's a peaceful alternative, I'm willing to try. It can't go any worse than what I expected."

"You were expecting a fight?" she asked, wide-eyed, fear creeping into her expression. "But before, you were so calm, when you brought up telling them, like you thought they'd be understanding?"

I stroked her hair gently, tucking a few wayward strands behind her ear. "I do think that the Cullens are underestimating James and Victoria's ability to be rational. Rational or not, I know me choosing to leave isn't something they will take lightly. A fight is near inevitable – we're stubborn creatures, Bella, we don't like it when things don't go our way – but in the end, they'll let me go. They're not so fanatical that they would kill me to prevent me from leaving. Dead, I'm useless to them. They would try to coerce me into staying at worst. It would be futile, of course."

"I still don't like it," Bella whispered. "I know you're exponentially stronger and faster than I am… and there's nothing I can do to stop it or to help you. But if there's two of them and one of you… I just - I don't want you to be hurt."

"I won't be," I vowed. Though I knew it wasn't a promise I could be sure to keep, there was no way I would tell Bella that. If she wanted to feel secure in the knowledge I was safe, I would give her that certainty. "I'm faster than either James or Victoria."

Bella eyed me skeptically. "You don't seem like the kind to run away from a fight."

I shrugged, sheepish. "Okay, perhaps you're right. I wouldn't run… but I won't need to. I intend to do whatever it is that Alice says will resolve this in the most peaceful way possible. In the worst case scenario, the Cullens outnumber James and Victoria by three. They'll aid me, if necessary. Trust me when I say you have no reason to worry."

She shrugged. "It doesn't work like that. I don't have a button I can just flip off. Until this is done with, there's going to be a little part of me reserved for worrying about you."

I smiled slightly, understanding her position; it was the same way I felt about her. "It can't be as big as the part of me that worries about you." I skimmed her cheek with the pad of my thumb, relishing the unrelenting softness. "You're so delicate, so easily breakable. I worry about you constantly. Sometimes I don't even trust myself to be around you."

Bella giggled, pressing her cheek into my hand. "Would you consider me reckless if I say I don't care?"

"Maybe just a little," I teased. "But I couldn't stay away from you if I tried. And I have tried. You're magnetic, Miss Swan."

"Thank god for that," she sighed, kissing my palm gently. "I love that you feel drawn to me. I feel the same way about you."

Her eyelids fluttered stubbornly, winning in the battle against sleep. It was the third time during our conversation, no less. She had to be getting sleepy. If she was still tired after her nap earlier, I knew the day's events had to have exhausted her.

"If you feel for me a fraction of what I do for you, I'll consider myself lucky," I murmured, not wanting to jolt her into a less sleepy state. Gently, I pushed her back down onto the bed. She relented, snuggling into the blankets that covered her, allowing me to tuck them up to her chin.

I laid down next to her so we shared a pillow, my body parallel to hers. The duvet separated her warmth from my cold. "You don't need to do that, you know," she mumbled, peering into my eyes. "You can get under the covers, too. I don't mind that your body is cool. It's comforting. It'll just remind me that you're here. Maybe I'll dream of you."

I smiled at the thought of having another opportunity to listen in on her dreams. "I would, love, but once you fall asleep, I'm going hunting with Jasper; they thought he might be able to help me. I don't want to disturb you when I leave. Since I only had an hour to hunt before, while you napped..." I trailed off, not wanting to say anything Bella might find disturbing.

As always, she surprised me.

"You're still thirsty," she stated bluntly, her soft tone belying the disturbing nature of the act I would be partaking in to curb my thirst.

I nodded, self-conscious. While she now knew what I was, I was still slightly uncomfortable talking about it candidly. Part of me was worried about her thinking badly of me, though a bigger part knew she wouldn't.

"I wasn't very good my first attempt," I admitted. "I'm not used to trying to target scents I find unappealing. I need a little more practice, I think."

She nodded, almost disinterestedly, as if I was telling her I was going out for a breakfast of bacon and eggs, rather than to suck the life out of some wildlife. "Will you be back before I wake up?"

"Of course," I assured. "Carlisle and Alice have promised you'll be safe under their watch while I'm gone. I won't be going any further than I can hear their thoughts, though, so if you're in distress, I'll know."

She reached a hand out from the blankets to flick my shoulder. "Don't be silly. I'm sure the game within hearing distance of here is pretty limited. I think Dr. Cullen has proven he can be trusted watch over me for a couple of hours. I'll be sleeping, anyway. What's the worst that can happen?"

"Carlisle is, by all accounts, the very best of our kind. But… you don't know vampires like I do, Bella. Even if the Cullens seem trustworthy, I'm not willing to bet your life on it."

She smiled at me. "I just don't want you feeling limited because you feel like you have to keep an eye on me."

I shook my head at her in disbelief. "I would never feel limited by you. Since I've met you, you've opened me up to a whole new world I would have never known otherwise."

She giggled. "Like the song." When my brow furrowed in confusion she added, "A whole new world. Like from the movie _Aladdin_. When they're on the magic carpet…"

I laughed, enjoying the way her giggling had flushed her cheeks. "Yes, just like that song. You're clearly drunk on lack of sleep. Time to close your eyes."

I leaned over to the bedside, clicking off the lamp. Darkness enveloped the room. It didn't make much difference to me. I could still see Bella laying peacefully against the mountain of pillows the Cullens had provided as clearly as if it had been daylight.

"But it's barely dark out," she protested.

I shrugged indifferently. "Does it look like I care what time of day it is?" I teased. "You're yawning and blinking incessantly. You have to sleep eventually. Since I don't, there's no point in you fighting it because of me. I'll be here the second you open those big brown eyes."

"Must be nice not to get tired," she whispered through a yawn. She tensed her jaw, trying to hide it, but I saw it anyway. I hid my knowing smile, though I knew her eyes probably had yet to adjust to the dimness of the room.

"Sometimes. Other times I wish I could shut my brain down, just for a few hours, so I could take a break from all of the thoughts, existence, everything. The closest I come, is being around you. You're my peace."

She hummed, a smile ghosting across her face in the darkness.

Finally giving up the fight to stay awake any longer, she whispered goodnight so quietly only I would be able hear it, and just barely at that. I kissed her forehead, wishing her sweet dreams.

It only took a few moments before her breathing slowed, her intake of breath becoming deep and regular as the peace of sleep took over.

I watched her fluttering eyelids and hands fisted against her pillow. She was so sweet and unassuming while she slept. I laid with her in silence for a few minutes, relishing the serenity of the moment. It was even better now, knowing without a doubt, that she wanted me at her side.

As the minutes passed, Jasper's curious thoughts wafted from the main floor of the Cullen home. He knew Bella was asleep and had been for several minutes. He was wondering what was taking me so long and was getting anxious to leave. He enjoyed hunting at dusk and the light was quickly fading.

Not wanting to keep him waiting any longer, I pressed a final kiss to Bella's hair and exited the room, locking the door behind me. Realistically, I knew the lock offered nothing but a false sense of security, but it made me feel better knowing the door was locked regardless.

Double checking it was secure, I hurried down to meet Jasper, who was standing in the large tiled foyer, like a dog eager to be taken on a walk.

He grinned crookedly at me, raising a questioning eyebrow. "Ready to give hunting veggie style a second try?"

I nodded, grimacing in memory. "It couldn't be much worse than the first time. I'm still parched… and definitely looking forward to dampening the urge to kill Bella."

"I can imagine," Jasper laughed, opening the door and gesturing for me to exit. I did, making a beeline for the wooded area behind the Cullen home. Usually I wouldn't feel comfortable allowing another vampire behind me, out of my peripherals, but Jasper seemed so easygoing, it was hard to believe he'd ever harm me, or that he had once been an integral part of a vampire army.

I ran at a moderate pace, allowing Jasper to trail me easily. It was odd having another vampire with me on a hunting excursion but something I decided I could get used to. It was almost nice to have a companion to take my mind off the nature of hunting, which, while necessary, was far less than glamorous.

In the distance, I could hear the river trickling, and the clumsy thoughts of several small, unappetizing animals huddled around it. I grimaced, recalling the taste of rabbit from my first hunt.

I'd been instructed to push all thoughts out of my mind, and focus on the thrumming sound of a heartbeat. It was supposed to be easier to focus on than the unsavory scent.

I'd done as I had been told, only to find myself pouncing through a bush on a little mound of fur and bones. A tiny herbivore. I could have sworn the heartbeat had sounded more powerful in my head. I supposed I might have pumped myself up so much that I'd thrown myself towards the first sign of animal movement.

Alice and Jasper had been extremely amused with my choice of food. Rabbit wasn't something they hunted often, apparently. It was too small to be worth pursuing; something I had to agree with based on my limited experience.

I brushed off their teasing, calling it an appetizer, which only served to amuse them more.

Before returning to Bella, I'd also managed to drain a small deer. The quantity had been more satisfying than the rabbit, but I was loathe to admit to Alice and Jasper that I actually preferred the taste of the rabbit. I would have preferred to eat a hundred of them than the one deer. There was no way I could admit that I wanted to impersonate some evil Disney villain and brutally murder a hundred little furballs and live it down, so I kept quiet.

"You should give yourself a little credit," Jasper said, hoping to assuage my discomfort and inexperience with vegetarian hunting. I could feel the soft tendrils of calm floating over me, erasing my anxiety as his gift washed over me.

"Hunting animals is an interesting experience for those of us not accustomed to it," he assured. "I remember my first time. I looked like I'd gotten into a nasty fight with a chainsaw and lost. Alice was equal parts disgusted and amused. But, here we are, fifty years later and I'm as good as the rest."

"I hope it doesn't take me fifty years," I mumbled under my breath.

"Aw, chill out," Jasper said lightly. "It's difficult for everyone the first time. It goes against our instincts. It's the exact opposite of the way we're wired to hunt. You and I, we had it even harder than the others. They didn't have a chance to get set in their ways."

"At least you probably hunted something more appropriate than _rabbit _your first time," I grumbled. "Do you have any idea how long running jokes last when you live for eternity?"

Jasper laughed. "A long time. And it depends what you consider appropriate. My first hunt was a crocodile. They're easier to find in the South. They're quite nasty when aggravated. Not the worst I've come across, though. By far the most interesting animal I've ever hunted was a hippopotamus."

I raised an eyebrow in shock. "A hippopotamus?"

"They're supposed to be one of the most aggressive creatures on the planet. Alice and I traveled to Kenya, just to give them a try. Trust me, even though they're herbivores, they do not go down easy. They don't taste so bad, either."

"This is so absurd. I can't believe I'm talking to you about hunting hippopotamuses. Aren't they endangered, anyway? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of what Carlisle said, about how you're trying not to negatively impact the ecosystems?"

"They're classified as vulnerable, not yet endangered. Esme is very active in environmental and wildlife causes – ironic, I know. She makes sure to keep us abreast of what species we need to take measures to protect and avoid completely. It's not like we make a habit of killing unusual animals but after so many decades, it's nice to try something different. We already deny ourselves human blood. We need a little interest in our diet."

"Right," I said sardonically. "However, I'm sure you'll understand my reticence when it comes to hunting more exotic animals. I'm having trouble enough trying to find the indigenous species appealing. Perhaps I ought to work on that first. Maybe work my way up to giraffes, before I consider hippopotamuses."

"Well, at least with the giraffe, you'd have a nice long target to work with," he laughed. "It would make for an easy kill, going for the jugular, I'm sure." I snorted at the image, as Jasper continued on a more serious note. "Our dietary choices are a little out there and will take some getting used to. But trust me, it's a relief to not feel the pain and heart-wrenching fear that comes with a kill. I'm sure you understand with your gift being the way it is."

"Yeah," I agreed quietly. "Hearing the thoughts drain from someone as you suck the life from them isn't pleasant. Thoughts are closely linked to emotion; one can think terror as easily as they feel it."

He nodded. "It was worst when I was a part of Maria's battalion. Unspeakable, needless cruelty spurring hate and terror and pain, coming at me from every angle… It's a wonder I was able to adapt to this life at all. If it weren't for Alice, I doubt I would have made the transition very well."

"I can't imagine," I said distractedly, cognizant of the fact Jasper and I were approaching the point where I'd no longer be able to hear the thoughts of those who remained at the house, thus severing the last of my connection to Bella.

I was reluctant to leave her too far out of reach, despite her assurances, but I also wanted to get better at hunting animals. Forcing my thoughts onto the task at hand, I pushed images of Bella hurt or injured out of mind, telling myself I was being ridiculous. I would return and she would be absolutely fine.

Jasper slowed his pace to match mine, very forgiving of the fact I was virtually ignoring him. He looked on patiently, his eyes mirroring my worry back to me. I appreciated that he didn't try to force me into being calm. I needed to learn to control my worry for Bella and live through it, not around it.

"We don't have to go any further. I can feel how worried you are. We have a good radius to work with, if you're uncomfortable," he offered.

I shook my head. "No. I think I need to do this. Bella is safe with your family. Even Rosalie," I admitted hesitantly. "There are going to be times when I can't be in her direct vicinity. I'm going to have to learn to work through my anxiety at being separated from her."

"You're doing very well. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you, having a human mate. Alice can take care of herself, yet I worry about her incessantly."

"Bella's stronger than she looks," I said defensively, feeling protective of her. I knew Jasper wasn't intending to insult her, but the implication that she was somehow an inferior partner because she was a human irked me to no end.

"I'm sure she is, emotionally," Jasper conceded. "She's a brave little thing, that's for certain. The grace she showed, dealing with the reality of our kind… it was remarkable. No fear. Not even a touch. However, fact remains that she's fragile in her current state."

"I won't force that choice upon her," I snarled, my voice strained with the effort of keeping my tone under control. "If she makes the decision, I will accept it, but to make her a vampire because it would be beneficial to my state of mind would be horribly selfish. I want her to have a chance to enjoy her life before it comes to a crashing halt… something I'm sure none of us had."

Jasper held up his hands defensively. "I didn't mean anything by it. I'm just surprised. I think it's admirable, you keeping her a human. Not many vampires would–"

"I'm not keeping her anything," I snapped. "She's her own person. She can make her own choices. Just because she's human doesn't–"

"Whoa, slow down," Jasper soothed, the tendrils of calm emanating from him working their way across my tensed form. "I know. Bella is a sweet girl. She deserves to make her own choices, I agree. I was just surprised by the magnitude of your restraint, being able to resist changing her, that is, not the fact she's human."

I nodded, forcing myself to loosen and release the stress that remained in my tensed muscles. "I'm sorry. I'm sensitive when it comes to Bella."

"Hey, I understand. I'm sorry, too. I feel the same way about Alice."

I shook my head. "You shouldn't apologize. I was being irrational; I know you meant no harm. I'm just… uptight right now." I sat heavily on a fallen tree, ignoring as it cracked under my weight. "There's just so much happening all at once. I'm trying to adapt to this new way of hunting, then there's the prospect of telling James and Victoria I'm staying in Forks and then wanting to constantly protect Bella but being unable to always be there to ensure she's okay… I'm not balancing it very well."

Jasper sat down next to me. Several chunks of the tree rained to the ground. "I think you're doing excellent. When I left Maria, I was a wreck… lost, confused, directionless. I had a mid-life crisis at a hundred-and-something. A few weeks later, I wander into a diner looking for my next meal and instead find this little vampire, with the strangest eyes I'd ever seen, who tells me I'm going to love her for the rest of my existence."

"Alice?" I asked, bemused.

"Of course. I thought she was insane," he admitted.

"A common reaction to Alice."

He chuckled, his thoughts sweeping through several fond memories. "She's a force to be reckoned with. You know, the first thing she did when she saw me was chastise me for keeping her waiting for so long?"

I laughed. "That sounds like Alice. What I thought I knew of her, anyway."

"You do know her, Edward. She's a little strange, I know. The omniscient thing can be unsettling but her heart is always in the right place. The Alice you thought you knew ninety years ago is still the Alice I know."

I stayed silent, not sure how to respond. Jasper was Alice's mate and therefore his view was skewed. If he felt anything at all for her like what I felt for Bella, there was no way he would do or say anything that had the slightest potential to hurt her.

"She's done nothing but change my life for the better. Taking her hand and choosing to leave that little diner and put my trust in her… it was the best thing I've ever done in my life. It was the first time in a long time I felt hopeful about the prospects of the next day. It was hard, but so worth it. You'll live through this transition period. Bella will give you the strength you need to do what's right. We're only as strong as our mates and she's one tough little cookie."

"Okay," I agreed, heartened by his confidence. I wasn't used to people believing in me. I stood, brushing bits of bark and leaves from my pants. "Let's do this. But, please, can we hunt something other than deer?"

"You bet. There are some black bears not too far from here. I think you'll find them more to your liking."

"I don't think anything could be less to my liking than deer, to be perfectly honest."

"Not even rabbit?" he teased, raising an eyebrow at me. I tensed. "Relax. I'm kidding. I already knew you liked the rabbit more than the deer. It was written all over your feelings. You'd be surprised what I can deduce based on emotions, alone. Don't worry," he winked, "I won't tell the others."

"Gee, thanks for protecting my reputation as a vampire with good taste," I grumbled.

"All of our tastes vary a little, just like some humans like foods that others don't," he explained, brushing off my bad mood with a sweep of serenity. "No one will care what you do or don't like. Though, overall, carnivores tend to be preferable."

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go hunt those bears," I said as cheerfully as I could manage, a task made substantially easier with Jasper's help.

He set off further north. I followed easily. Though he was running, it was little more than a jog for me. Though I was naturally faster, I also still had remnants of human blood in my system. That would be gone soon enough. My eyes were mostly gold, with only the slightest hint of orange to them. Bella hadn't noticed the lingering red mixing with the gold, so perhaps it was only visible to vampire eyes.

We'd been running for just under fifteen minutes when Jasper ground to a halt in front of me. "I smell bear," he informed.

I wrinkled my nose, sniffing the air gingerly. "It smells like sweat and mud," I said flatly.

"Bear," Jasper corrected.

"And I'm supposed to find this appealing?"

"Well… it's better than the alternatives. It tastes better than it smells, as I'm sure you're aware."

I masked my disbelief – unsuccessfully, I'm sure – and tried to open my mind to thinking of the scent as edible. While it still held a mere fraction of the appeal Bella's blood did, eventually I managed to convince my hunting instincts to think of the scent as a target.

"You're thinking far too much," Jasper commented, his tone neutral in an effort not to frustrate me any further, his thoughts revealed.

I sighed. I wasn't used to not being able to do something I set my mind on.

"No, no," Jasper interjected, picking up on my exasperation. "You're not doing anything wrong. You're just approaching it from a very… intellectual angle. This isn't an intellectual thing. It's an instinctual thing."

"That's what I'm trying to do," I growled in aggravation. "I'm trying to tell myself I want to hunt bear. I'm trying."

"It doesn't work like that. I can feel you straining. Stop thinking so much about the 'how.' Shut off your thoughts and just think about how hungry you are. If you're thirsty enough… even bear won't seem so bad. Your instinct will be to drain."

"Yeah, okay," I grumbled, not liking that I was being told what to do. I prided myself on being self-sufficient and found it difficult to accept help, even though I knew it was in my best interest.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath and inhaling the pungent odor of bear on the breeze. I could hear him shuffling through the fallen leaves somewhere to my left. I wasn't starving, since I had managed to drain a deer earlier in the day, but I was still hungry. I tried to focus on the nagging pain in my throat but it wasn't quite enough to push my feet in the direction of the bear.

I clenched my fists, angry at myself for being unable to do this simple thing. I had to do this. So Bella would be safe. So I wouldn't hurt her. The reminder of Bella brought to mind the tantalizing memory of her mouthwatering scent. Those thoughts, coupled with the slight pang of thirst were the trigger I needed.

The slick thickness of venom coated my teeth and my feet sent me flying forward without conscious thought.

Jasper was long forgotten. There was a part of me – the born hunter – that wanted to attack him, to ward him off and prevent him from swooping in on my prey. But I was faster. He was too slow to be a threat and the part of me ruled by instinct knew it.

A very small part of me, far weaker than the instincts that had taken over, recognized I'd used the allure of Bella's scent to trigger my desire to hunt. Guilt surged but it wasn't enough to stop me. I was on a rampage and nothing was going to stop the instincts roaring in me until I took down my target.

Vaguely, as if in a slow-motion picture, the rasp of dry leaves mashing beneath my feet turned into the crushing of bone as I landed on the spine of a massive brown bear. He was slow and lazy, bloated from months of feeding on summer greenery as he made preparations for the winter season.

The loud snap of his backbone ceased him mid-swipe. I descended upon his jugular, taking quick swallows, draining what remained of his life-force. It did taste better, a little voice triumphed above the roar of instinct. It tasted surprisingly fruity, less earthy than my previous experiences with animal hunting. Like I imagined overripe wild berries might taste.

A dozen pulls later, I pulled away and stood slowly. The haze that had surrounded me during the hunt faded, clarity returning. I felt surprisingly refreshed and stronger than I had in days. It wasn't quite the same as the euphoria that followed a human kill but it was close enough. The carnivore really did make a big difference in terms of taste and fulfillment.

I looked down at the unmoving lump of fur, a pang of regret filling me, when I thought about how I had used Bella – and my unconscious desire to kill her – to serve my own selfish purposes.

Not wanting to look at it any longer, I yanked up a nearby tree, kicking the remainder of the bear under it and replanting the tree with more force than necessary.

_Wow. That was… astonishing. With a bear, too. They usually put up a little more fight…_

I turned to face Jasper, who was crouched in a tree a safe distance away. I pursed my lips, saying nothing. There was nothing I could say.

He looked at me in concern, hopping out of the tree to stand next to me. "What's the matter? You did awesome. You should have seen yourself." He replayed the memory of me chasing the bear with singular focus. I shut it out, not wanting to see it, knowing how I'd managed it.

"You were… robotic. That bear didn't stand a chance. By the time he heard you coming, you were already on top of him. That was one of the cleanest bear kills I've ever seen."

"That's great," I said emotionlessly. "I guess I'm getting better at this."

He nodded. "I'll say." He paused, looking at me appraisingly. "There's something weighing on you. You're tense… more than usual." I grit my teeth, annoyed at the cheap shot. I was not always tense, contrary to popular belief. I resisted the urged to kick the all-knowing mood-reading right out of him.

"It's nothing," I said forcefully. Admitting what I'd done would be like confirmation of how repulsive I was. I didn't need Jasper to reinforce that belief.

"It's something," he countered. "Look, you don't need to tell me. I can't help knowing how you feel, just like you can't help knowing what I'm thinking… but it might help you to talk about it."

"Sure. Talking fixes everything," I said sarcastically. "You Cullens sure like to talk."

Jasper laughed. "I'm a Hale actually. Rosalie and I pose as twins."

"That must be lovely pretending to be related to Satan."

"She's not that bad," he grinned. "She just really doesn't like you. She was inclined not to like you from the beginning. Then when she met you… well, you're too much alike, I think."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're both incredibly stubborn, for one."

"One shared trait does not constitute two people being alike," I countered staunchly.

"Fine, forget I said anything. Now are you going to tell me what's bothering you? Or are you going to stew and be a broody ass all the way home? At which point you will talk to Bella – while still being a broody ass, might I add – who will tell you to knock it off and to whom you'll listen because you'd do anything for her. You could save both Bella and I a little time if you just talk to me now."

"Have you been living with Alice so long that you've usurped some of her gift from her?" I snarked, purposely avoiding the question and the implication that I would be leaving Bella to sort out my bad mood. I didn't want her to feel responsible for fixing my moods.

"Another attempt at diversion? You must really not want to talk about this," Jasper stated knowingly. Alice had definitely rubbed off on him.

I sighed, considering his offer to talk. Maybe he was right. I didn't think anything he could say would help, but there was no harm in trying, I supposed….

"I'm a horrible person," I explained flatly. "I used the scent of the girl I love as inspiration to _kill_. How's that for twisted?"

Jasper looked sideways at me. "Is that all? Edward, I know you refuse to think of her as such but she _is_ human. She's going to smell good to you. If you use her scent to hunt and it prevents you from harming _her_, what's the big deal?"

"Because it's immoral. It's like I'm killing her because that's what my subconscious is telling me I'm doing."

"Except you're not. You're using her as olfactory stimulation to target something otherwise unappealing to you. You can separate reality from fiction, can't you?"

"Yes, but–"

"And you have no intention of harming Bella, do you?"

"No, I–"

"Then you're fine."

I growled, annoyed at being cut off for the second time. And to think, when I had first met Jasper, I had taken him as a quiet and unobtrusive type. Perhaps that had been due to Bella's presence. He had been especially weary of her.

"I'm sensing you aren't going to take my word for this," Jasper said, eventually. "Talk to Bella, then. I'm sure she will tell you what I just said, except I'm sure you'll actually listen to her."

"Maybe you're right," I sighed deeply. "But it still doesn't feel right. I don't want to associate her with hunting. I could pose a danger to her."

"You're always going to pose a danger to her, unless you change her, Edward. You're going to have to learn to live with that risk. That said, if you don't want to think about her when hunting, don't."

I nodded. I'd already made the decision to separate Bella from this part of my life. I didn't want to think about the possibilities if I came to associate her with hunting.

"The fact you care so much about not hurting her tells me you won't," Jasper added.

"But the risk…"

"Will always be there."

I sighed. I was aware of that fact. I thought I'd made some progress by being away from her for an extended period of time without panicking – almost forty minutes now – but it seemed I was taking steps backwards. I was suddenly desperate to return to check she was okay.

"Perhaps I should go back to check on her."

"Look, I understand your need to protect your mate. It will never go away, no matter how durable or able to protect herself she is – I'm terrified of what I'd become without Alice – but you can't live in a constant state of worry. You didn't hurt her. She's fine. Can you trust the others to keep her safe? We've got a few hours until we need think about getting back."

I nodded grudgingly. "I need the practice." I wasn't sure whether I meant practice hunting or practice being away from Bella. I supposed they were one and the same.

"Great. Seeing you take down that bear gave me a craving for one. It's not usually my thing but…"

Three hours later, after trudging halfway to Canada and back, chasing various game across the countryside, Jasper and I made our way back to the Cullen home. The sun was hidden, showing no signs of rising any time soon, pitch black still blanketing Forks.

Jasper had found his bear and a pair of deer. I'd opted for an elk – which tasted only marginally better than the deer – and to my great relief, had been able to make the kill without thinking of Bella at all.

I couldn't hide my relief to be returning home. Being away from Bella for so long had neared on excruciating. She wouldn't be awake for hours yet but that didn't ease the gnawing need to make sure she was safe. The last hour of our hunt I'd been incredibly antsy and after much exasperation, Jasper had thrown in the towel, fed up with my distraction, suggesting we return. I'd tried to hold out for his sake but had done a miserable job of masking my desire to see Bella. Hiding from Jasper wasn't the easiest task.

By the time we were within range of the Cullens' I was running at a full sprint, leaving Jasper struggling to catch up in my wake. I could hear the reassuring hum of thought from all of the Cullens. No one was worried or upset.

I'd been so focused on getting to the house, it wasn't until we were past the river that I noticed the addition of a male I hadn't heard before. Since he was new to me, perhaps I'd needed the closer range to hear his thoughts.

I slowed, allowing Jasper to catch me. He turned to me, jogging alongside me, now.

"Jesus. I didn't know it was possible for a vampire to be out of breath! Slow down, would you? I know you're worried about Bella, but we're almost there. Surely you can hear everything's fine?"

"There's another vampire in the house. A male," I said, ignoring him.

"What?" He paused, listening, before breaking into a wide grin. "It's okay. He's family. We've been expecting him. He's come to meet you, actually."

"Okay…" I frowned, wondering why some vampire relative of the Cullens had come to meet me and why no one had mentioned this to me before.

"Don't look at me like that. He's nice," Jasper reassured.

I studied the dark-haired vampire through Carlisle, who was currently talking with him. His body language was certainly relaxed.

"You called Rosalie 'not that bad'" I countered. "I think I'll judge for myself."


	20. Uncontrollable

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing. Note this warning is no longer in the future tense. We're going to start rounding some bases. Nothing intense in this chapter… but it's a beginning._

_**Chapter: **__Twenty; Uncontrollable_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_**AN: **__So it's been a while… rest assured, as long as it might take to update, this story will be finished. Hopefully the next update won't be nearly as long in coming :) If it's any consolation, it's a fun chapter, and a long one at that :)_

_Thank you to everyone who is still following and reviewing in the face of my update fail. You are the only thing keeping me from saying screw it and prolonging writing this yet another day :)_

_Also a major thanks to Jana, who was the fire under my ass I needed to complete this chapter :)_

xx

Knowing that there was another person – a vampire no less – in the Cullens' home, whether he was regarded as family or not, did not calm my anxiousness to be near Bella.

With with the threat of an outsider lingering nearby I was nearly panicked. I wanted to believe the Cullens wouldn't associate themselves with anyone less saintly than themselves but I knew that wasn't true. They had taken me in as one of their own despite my less than perfect history.

The Cullen home loomed closer but not quickly enough. My approach seemed to drag to a crawl though I was moving just as fast as before. Jasper eyed me, my anxiety written all over his face.

"Bella's fine, Edward," he assured. "Don't panic. I know you can't hear her but I can feel her. She's asleep, dreaming happy things."

That made me feel better. Just slightly. I needed to see her for myself, just to be sure. I wouldn't be able to calm myself until I did.

Jasper said nothing as I flung myself into a tree adjacent to the Cullen home and onto the windowsill of the room where Bella was resting. He shook his head, bemused, before disappearing around to the front of the house.

Bella's sleep-warmed scent drifted lightly through the window which had been left open a crack. Grabbing the window by its frame I shoved it open roughly not caring that I might wake her. I felt only mildly guilty for my brusque entrance. All guilt was quickly squashed at the sight of her, tangled in the golden sheets, sound asleep.

_She was okay._

Soft brown hair fanned around her, a sweet dream-induced smile, wrinkles on her face courtesy of the crumpled pillowcase… she was perfection.

I liked to think that was a word I didn't throw around lightly. Seeing her like that, in a bed that was technically mine… that was the only word I could come up with to describe the sight. A part of me that had been dormant before Bella's entrance into my world swelled with affection for her.

Tuning out the hum of voices downstairs, I settled next to her, watching the slow rise and fall of her breaths, basking in her sleepy glow, the Cullen visitor temporarily forgotten. As long as he wasn't here in this room, I didn't really care. I was thankful no one tried to barge into the room and pull me downstairs, anxious to introduce me to another stranger.

In the relative darkness, her face was still perfectly clear to me. I focused on the backs of her eyelids, counting the rhythmic fluttering movements, allowing them to push my tension away.

By the time I'd counted to two-hundred-and-forty, I felt calm enough to brave downstairs and meeting the new, unexpected visitor. Just thinking about it made me tense again. Vampires weren't built to like change and meeting so many new people was draining.

I opened my mind a crack, letting the thoughts filling the Cullen house to drip back into my head. With so many thoughts in one room, all equally as loud, it was hard to latch onto one stream of thought, so I let them all filter through my mind at once, hanging onto pieces of each.

From several angles, the picture of a warm, friendly face. A man with short, dark hair and tanned skin, masked by the typical vampire's pallor. Kind eyes; amber, I noted with relief.

_Eleazar._

_Lovely to see you._

_Glad you came._

_We weren't expecting you._

_Alice was preoccupied._

_Wonderful surprise._

A shrug and an offhand joke, then chuckles and an apology. My name was mentioned. My face occupied half a dozen minds, various thoughts circling, all with expectant undertones. They were waiting for me to come downstairs.

_He's a little shy._

_He been through a lot recently._

_New to our diet._

_Still adjusting._

_Hopeful for the future._

Then… images of Bella. Warm feelings of admiration and respect.

_Human._

_He's grown very attached._

_Finds it difficult to be away from her._

_Amazing._

_Special._

_Knew it._

The fact he called Bella amazing put him in my good books. He was right, of course, though how he knew this, I was unsure. He had never met either Bella or I as far as I was aware.

In the brief time I'd been paying attention, his memories alluded he had come from a colder climate; somewhere further north, perhaps Canada, a setting at odds with his Spanish accent.

He seemed relatively harmless. Only a previous connection to the Volturi gave me pause. He had met Carlisle when they resided in Volterra around the same time. I wondered how come this hadn't been mentioned and if it had something to do with Carlisle's secrecy about his scar. Leaving the Volturi guard could certainly be a hazard to a vampire. I didn't know much about them but Caius was well known for his vindictive streak. Aro's temperament wasn't much better.

Slightly hesitant with this new information at hand, I unlocked the door after sparing one last feather-light kiss to Bella's forehead. I was no more ready to join the crowd that waited for me downstairs than before but I doubted I would ever be.

Alice saw me coming. Her thoughts shifted from expectant to pleased as she informed the others I would be down momentarily.

When I finally did descend the stairs, they were all staring at the entrance way, waiting for me with friendly smiles. Only Rosalie was unable to at least pretend to be happy to see me.

_The prodigal son returns. Again. They'll bore of you soon enough, jerkweed, don't get too happy._

I nodded politely to the only vampire I didn't recognize, ignoring Rosalie.

"Hello Eleazar," I greeted quietly, trying to get a good read on his state of mind. Like the Cullens, his mind had the illusion of being open, but at times I got the distinct feeling he was making an effort to recall certain things in order to mask other memories.

He grinned, a wide toothy white smile. "It's pleasure to meet you, Edward. My mate, Carmen, will be sorry she missed your return. She's out, hunting. Our travels have made her weary," he explained, his accent colouring his words with warmth.

"Oh," I said lamely. "I'm sure I'll still be here when she gets back."

Carlisle's thoughts paused at my admission, happiness spilling into them at the possibility that I might want to stay with his family on a more permanent basis. I was unable to suppress my surprise.

I had thought Alice would be the one anxious for me to stay. She had made no secret of her feelings by preemptively declaring me her brother. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, though the more time I spent with the Cullens (excepting Rosalie) the more the idea didn't sound quite so horrible.

Carlisle must have read the surprise in my expression because his contemplations were abruptly replaced with a benign recitation of a biblical verse.

"Wonderful. Carmen and I left our travel plans open-ended. We wanted to meet the famous Edward. Carlisle and his family have been anxious for you to join them."

"I hope you didn't alter your plans because of me," I said, uncomfortable with the implication that I was some kind of walking tourist attraction.

After so many years of existing on the periphery of James and Victoria's affairs with little acknowledgement beyond what I could provide monetarily, it was odd to be the centre of anyone's attention, let alone an entire coven of vampires and their extended family. I was starting to feel like a spectacle and I didn't care for it.

"Of course not," Eleazar chuckled warmly. The soft sound eased my tension marginally. "It's been a few years since Carmen and I have seen our extended family. We were due for a visit. The fact you're here is merely an added bonus."

I smiled tightly. "I'm sure I'm less interesting than you've been expecting."

"I doubt that. It's unusual to find vampires like yourself. Only a handful of vampires have ever successfully trained themselves to drink animal blood. Most of them are in this room."

"And the others?" I asked, curious. It had never occurred to me to ask if there were any other animal-drinkers beyond the Cullens. If there were more… how many? How had I never heard of them before?

Eleazar's expression softened as he took in mine, recognizing my distress. "Not many more. Just my daughters. Tanya, Irina and Kate."

"Eleven," I mumbled, adding the total number. Alice's thoughts twitched, as if to correct me, but she said nothing.

"Wait." I paused, the names striking a dusty memory in me. James had mentioned the names of the Denali sisters before, referencing their exploits with human men. "Your daughters are the succubi sisters?"

He grinned, amused. "The very same. Some of the legends have been exaggerated, of course, but they stem from small truths, as many legends do."

"I thought they were fictional. I can't believe they exist and are animal-drinkers at that." It occurred to me the cold climate Eleazar had been thinking of and the succubus sisters' home of Denali were likely one and the same. "So you live in Denali, then?"

"I do," he nodded. "Seems you know more about my daughters than expected. Carmen and I should have encouraged the girls to come with us. I'm sure they would have enjoyed the warmer weather. And of course they would have been pleased you meet you. It's been difficult for them to find mates. Not many vampires are willing to consider the lifestyle change being bonded to them would require. As a single male animal-drinker, you're a hot commodity, my friend."

I stiffened. The air in the room seemed to cool a couple degrees as a brief silence fell over it, no one quite sure what to say.

"I'm not looking for a mate," I replied tersely.

Eleazar's forehead creased in confusion. He wasn't sure what to make of my icy tone. A fog of worry that he'd offended me settled upon his mind.

The others, who had been silent observers until now, chose this moment to speak up.

"Eleazar," Alice said gently, "Edward already has a mate."

"We're sorry if we didn't make it clear before," Esme added. "When we said he'd become attached to Isabella… we meant that she was his mate."

"The human?" he asked, surprise lacing his tone. I tensed, biting my lip to keep my anger in check. I knew he didn't mean anything by it – that prevented me from lashing out verbally – but it was starting to irk me that all these vampires were pointedly referring to her as a human, like being one implied some sort of deformity.

Though he didn't say it aloud, he was also impressed, as all of vampire-kind seemed to be, with my ability to avoid killing her. My irritation with the constant skepticism in regards to my ability to keep Bella safe was also growing.

Especially since these thoughts were often accompanied by gory "what-if" scenarios that I didn't care for in the least. Seeing Bella hurt, even in someone else's thoughts, was not pleasant. It was even less so when it was me they pictured causing the damage.

"One and the same," Carlisle replied, shooting a glance in my direction. "She's an extraordinary girl. You'll have to meet her when she's awake. Providing Edward doesn't mind."

I shifted on the spot. I wanted to tell him no but I knew Bella would want the opportunity to choose for herself and I didn't want to deny her the choice.

"I'll ask her. If she's not comfortable…" I trailed off, knowing full well it was a flimsy excuse. Bella had never expressed any fear around vampires, a fact which drove me insane with worry. Faced with the wrong vampire that bravery could have lethal consequences.

"Of course. It would be an honour to meet her. I apologize again. I didn't realize that you were spoken for. I meant no disrespect to Isabella."

I ran a hand through my hair nervously. Being around Bella so much while pretending to be human, had had the strange effect of actually giving me nervous human habits.

"It's fine. I think I may have overreacted." I found myself doing that often when it came to Bella.

Eleazar smiled. "It's only natural to be protective of your life-partner. A human, more so, I'd imagine. Absolutely extraordinary," he mumbled the last part to himself.

He mused over the unusualness of my bond with Bella, something vague clicking resoundingly in his mind. He'd come to some conclusion but his thoughts were moving so quickly, it was hard to distinguish what he'd settled upon.

"Based on what I knew of you, I thought it would be simple," he said, focusing on me intently, his voice distracted. I felt exposed, though by what, I wasn't sure. All I could tell was that he was looking at something within me that wasn't physically tangible.

"As always, when one becomes complacent… The reality surpasses anything I could have expected," he continued. "The depths of your control is astounding."

"I think you're assigning undue credit," I said, uncomfortable with the scrutiny. "Given my choice of mate, I think control is all but a necessity."

Eleazar grinned impishly, looking for all the world like a mischievous little boy. "Have you been able to discern my talent?" The way he posed the question, I knew he knew I could read his mind.

I shook my head. "You haven't thought of it, so neither have I. You can see something about me that's not visible to normal eyes, but I'm not sure what."

"I can, usually, determine others' gifts."

I nodded. "That makes sense. You know that I can read minds then. It's not an unheard of talent. Aro's is very similar. So why do you seem surprised?"

"It's not a precise art. Yours for instance… though I'm sure you believe it to be mind-reading, is actually more complex. If you were human, telepathy might seem to be the obvious potential gift," he explained, his voice distant, as if he was musing to himself.

"However, as a vampire, you also show signs of having an inordinate amount of self-control. It's not quite as flashy and therefore more likely to be missed. However, it's possible the two are connected and that mind-reading may actually be a side effect of your primary gift, which is simply the ability to control."

"What?" I sputtered doubtfully. He was being sincere but he had to know he sounded like a crackpot. "Of course my gift is mind-reading. I've been doing it for the last 87 years."

He smirked knowingly. "I never said you couldn't read minds. I said it wasn't your primary gift. That would be the ability to control."

"What does that even mean?" I grumbled. "How is it possible mind-reading is linked to control? Isn't control physical?"

"Not necessarily. True control stems from knowledge, does it not? Physical control is nothing more than strength." He offered a sly half-grin.

He knew had a point and so did I. He was waiting patiently for me to concede. I had far too many unanswered questions left to even consider what he was saying to be true.

"Imagine yourself as a radio," he continued, when it was clear that I had nothing further to say. "One that gets multiple stations. One is yourself, the rest are the various people that surround you. Tuning into yourself – choosing look at yourself more deeply than you usually would – results in self-awareness, and then ability to moderate your needs, desires, actions, and so on, as necessary. Tuning into anyone else effectively grants you control over them, through knowledge of their deepest desires and most private secrets. Knowing how one ticks is a very powerful tool. The fact you have not abused this gift says wonders about your character."

"That's so abstract," I countered. "How could one have a gift for something as immeasurable as control? It's ridiculous."

"Carlisle's gift is his compassion. Esme's is her ability to love with all of her heart," he offered. "Are they less gifted because their strengths can't be measured through an ability of some sort?"

I eyed the couple curiously, wondering if Eleazar was telling the truth. They both nodded at me encouragingly and clasped hands, confirming Eleazar's assessment.

"Not all gifts can be easily summed into a single word or manifested in concrete abilities," Eleazar suggested. "We have a tendency to dismiss those with abstract gifts as talentless. You are fortunate enough that yours has manifested as both. Perhaps as a human, you were a very authoritative personality, in control of yourself and others? Or perhaps a leader of some sort; someone good at understanding and managing people, yourself included?"

"I – but, how is it possible I didn't know? If self-awareness is the foundation of my self-control, how could I not?"

Eleazar shrugged. "It's not an obvious talent. You're self-aware, not all-knowing. There was no reason for you to think you had a gift beyond telepathy, so you didn't look for it. It's something of a circle. Not knowing you had it to use, it's only been put into use – unconsciously on your part – in sparse moments when you push yourself, such as when you're with Isabella, or when you decided you don't want to hunt innocent humans. You're not alone in being unaware of the extent of your own gift. Esme was equally surprised by hers, I assure you."

"It's true," Esme agreed, not moving from her position, clasping Carlisle's hand. "Who would have thought the ability to love was a gift? It seemed like something that was a given… something everyone did. Eleazar and I had this very same conversation. He's very good at what he does. If he believes your talent is heightened control, he has a reason to believe so."

"Thank you, dear," he smiled at Esme. "Despite Esme's faith, my gift is not an absolute science. I cannot say for certain that your gift is control. However, based on what I can see, that would be my best guess. Your gift seems to rest in your ability to influence yourself and others, whether through willpower, mind-reading, or even subtler things, such as your tenacity."

"I'm not tenacious!"

Alice burst out laughing. "Are you kidding me, Edward? You're the most stubborn person I've ever had the pleasure of knowing."

I sighed. "You know Bella. She puts my hard-headedness to shame."

"Which is why she's perfect for you," Alice countered. "Though, in her defense, you probably started it. She needs to be able to hold her own when you get into one of your moods."

"Moods?" I grumbled, stopping short. "You know what? Forget it. Pretend I didn't ask."

"Wise move," Jasper applauded. "You won't get anywhere fighting with a psychic."

"You never know," Alice joked. "Now that he knows he can control me…" she wiggled her fingers teasingly. "We might just be evenly matched."

I grimaced. I wasn't ready to joke about this yet. "I don't think it works like that. I can't control you precisely. I merely have access to information about you that might allow me the upper hand. When put like that it sounds an awful lot like blackmail."

"What you can do isn't so easily put into words," Eleazar countered. "Don't be so quick to write it off. It might interest you to know that Aro's gift works in much the same way."

"It does?" I asked, my interested piqued. It was no secret in the vampire community that Aro's gift was a more concentrated version of what I could do. A single touch was all it took to read every thought a person had ever had. "Is his gift related to control also?"

"In a way," Eleazar shook his head. "However Aro lacks the self-control you possess. His gift is more about manipulation. Imagine the power you would hold over others if you knew every thought they had since birth? While it's related to control, it's more appropriately equated with his need to dominate. His gift, in a way, is power. Which, as you can imagine, pleases him to no end."

"That's how he's managed to appoint himself as the law-enforcement of our world?" I deduced.

While I'd never really cared much about the Volturi, this new information made me feel a little sickened by them and their so-called authority. The thought Aro would use his gift in such a way seemed like a violation.

"Partly. Like your gift, his is about potential, rather than absolute power. His thirst for even more power drives him to use it as he does. He's not very forthcoming about the extent of his gift. Only a few know what exactly it entails beyond tactile telepathy. He knows how it would make him appear. Part of his authority stems from how he appears to the vampire community. His power games are incredibly complex. More so than you could possibly imagine. Ultimately, he does more good than bad, which is why he's gone unchallenged for so long."

"I've never been more glad I haven't met the man," I said in disgust.

"I can't imagine he'd say the same," Eleazar commented, the corner of his lips upturning in amusement. "I would think he would find you incredibly appealing as a part of his guard. He'd see much of himself in you, I imagine."

"I'd rather die than submit myself to the Volturi," I said tersely.

Once upon a time, I might have considered it an honour. Knowing that all he cared about was how powerful he was rather than keeping peace and order… it was sickening.

"Aro is manipulative, there's no doubt, but he's not evil. Power is his primary concern, it's true. But he's as a much a victim of his own gift as anyone else. He's allowed it to consume him entirely. He cares about peace and order, of course, but it's secondary. As are love and happiness, his own included."

"How unfortunate for him." I rolled my eyes. "Perhaps he should have thought of that before he decided to take over the world."

An assortment of snorts rose from the Cullens, their thoughts expressing amusement over my flippant attitude toward Aro. Only Carlisle remained still. He regarded Aro as a friend, his compassion disallowing him to think badly of the other man.

Eleazar smiled. "He's much more restrained than you give him credit for. He rules on the basis of discretion. Everyone is given the opportunity to comply with the rules. Freedom is relative, though, I suppose. I used to be a part of the guard, you know. Until I met Carmen. Aro was very gracious when I made the decision to depart Volterra."

"Eleazar…" Carlisle interrupted softly, wrapping an arm around Esme. "Perhaps it's best we leave politics alone for tonight? Edward has enough on his plate with what your gift has taught him."

Eleazar bowed his head politely. "I'm sure you'd like to return to your Isabella. I'm sorry to have taken so much of your time."

Relief flooded through me. Meeting Eleazar hadn't been as dreadful as I had anticipated, confusing revelations about my gift aside. Nevertheless, the thought of returning to Bella was immensely appealing.

I had just finished shaking his hand and excusing myself when a beautiful olive-skinned vampire slid in the back door, her long dark hair flying behind her. She almost bowled Eleazar and me over in her excitement to reach us. She clung to Eleazar's arm, a friendly smile stretched across her face.

He gestured to the petite vampire, reflecting her smile. "This is my Carmen."

She fixed warm, almond-shaped eyes on me. Gold, like her mate's. "And you must be Edward." Her genuine grin broadened. "It's a pleasure to meet you. Look at you. You're as cute as a button. Look at that hair!"

She touched a few strands, brushing them away from my face. It didn't feel intrusive, though it probably should have. There was something about her warmth that immediately set me at ease.

"Immortality has treated you well, I see. So precious. You couldn't be more than, what, sixteen? But mature for your age, no? You'll have my girls fawning over you, I'm sure."

I stared wide-eyed, unsure how to respond to the whirlwind of a woman. She reminded me of a Spanish version of Alice.

"_Amorcita_," Eleazar interrupted, "you missed some vital conversation while you were hunting. Edward is attached already, I'm afraid. His mate is upstairs, _sleeping_."

"A human?" Her shock was evident. "Little Alice was right about you," she said shrewdly, her lips curling into a knowing smile.

"I – Alice talks about me?" I glared at Alice who shrugged sheepishly.

_Sorry. I had a few visions of you when I was in Denali. I was excited. When I get excited, I tend to talk. A lot._

"Often. I feel as though I know you. Between Alice, Carlisle and Eleazar … I feel as though I know you already."

"Oh, well…" I trailed off, desperate to end the conversation and return to Bella.

It felt like it had been far too long since I'd seen her, though it had been less than half an hour. It was worse, knowing she was just upstairs, just out of reach. I could hear her steady heartbeat through the flimsy layers of plywood and plaster. I wanted nothing more than to lie next to her and match my breathing to hers.

"It's okay, little one," she encouraged. The term of endearment was almost laughable. I was well over a foot taller than her and more than a century old. "Go to your mate. There's no need for you to pretend to happily engage in polite conversation for my sake. I can tell it's difficult for you to be away from her."

"Intuition," Eleazar said simply, gazing at Carmen fondly. "She isn't quite like Jasper but she immediately grasps certain things about how others are feeling." He kissed the top of her head.

"It's was nice to meet you, Carmen–"

"Oh, hush, forget the formalities, _quequito_. I'll be here tomorrow. You can introduce me to her tomorrow, too. I have to be sure she's good enough for you now that we're going to be family."

I smiled obligingly. "Thank you, Carmen, but that won't be necessary. She's perfect."

"I'm sure she is. Go on, then."

I didn't need any encouragement. Hardly sparing a backward glance, I ran for the stairs, taking them several at a time. The murmur of conversation downstairs became secondary as Bella's heartbeat grew louder.

She was laying exactly as I'd left her, tangled in the gold sheets. I laid down next to her, savouring the warmth radiating from her small form. I sighed, my anxiousness slipping away completely. I was still adjusting to the intense desire to be close to her always.

She hummed, shifting and rolling in her sleep and suddenly she was half on top of me, one of her legs thrown over mine. She hummed sleepily and snuggled her soft warmth against my side.

I froze, not sure what to do with my conflicting desires. One part of me – the larger part – wanted to hold her tightly and not let go. The other part – the more rational one – knew that indulging my need to hold her close to me in such an intimate position might not be wise. Naturally, I listened to the first one.

So much for self-control. Eleazar had clearly misidentified my gift. It sounded too good to be real, anyway.

I wrapped the arm Bella hadn't trapped between us around her, pressing my face against the pillow we were now sharing thanks to her bed-stealing antics. I inhaled the soft scent of her hair, letting it wash over me. The burn was minimal; more like a distant ache than intense pain. Shame prickled. How could I have ever used her scent to hunt?

I was so intently focused on her peaceful face it took me several seconds to realize she was staring back at me, warm brown eyes fluttering as she fought against her early-morning grogginess.

"Hello," I whispered, offering a tiny quirk of my lips that might have passed as a smile.

She mirrored it, her eyes drifting down towards our intertwined bodies. Her cheeks warmed and her face hardened in embarrassment as realization dawned that she had flung herself on me in her sleep.

I pulled her even closer, resting her head on my shoulder, not wanting her to be embarrassed. If only she knew how desperate I was to be near her now that I recognized her as my mate.

"You're so warm," I murmured, not wanting her to put any distance between us but unable to say the words. Everything seemed too suggestive. Less than twenty-four hours after we had admitted how we felt about each other – albeit without saying the actual words – it seemed too soon to go there.

"Is this okay? I didn't mean to… but I move around a lot in my sleep."

"I'm more than comfortable, Bella. Having you in my arms feels amazing. I'm surprised you want to be near me. It must be like cuddling an icecube."

She sighed serenely, her body relaxing.

"No. It's hard to explain but it's different. You're too… real. You aren't inanimate. You're just sturdy," she chuckled. "Trust me, you're much more comfy than a block of ice."

I laughed. "Thanks? I think."

She kissed me, the heat of her lips searing my cheek. I turned my head slightly so our mouths could meet. She responded immediately, her lips parting beneath mine. I sighed into her, gently brushing my tongue over her bottom lip, tasting sweetness and salt.

She froze, pulling away. "Edward…"

I pressed my head back into the pillow, slightly annoyed with the abrupt separation. Opening my eyes looked up into her alarmed ones.

"Yes?" I cupped her cheek, trying to be supportive about whatever was bothering her.

"I want to kiss you. I do… but I haven't brushed my teeth."

"I'm a vampire, Bella," I said simply, amused by the very human concern.

Her forehead crinkled in worry as she hovered over me. "So you can taste everything magnified. Morning breath included."

"Yes. But no matter the time of day, no matter how badly you think your breath smells, you taste infinitely better than toothpaste. You taste human, which is infinitely better than mint, at least to vampires. Mint is sharp and bitter. I'd much rather kiss you than mint."

"Okay," she mumbled, though I could tell she was still doubtful.

There was only one way to show her I meant what I said. I pressed my mouth firmly to hers, careful not to apply enough pressure to hurt her, then pointedly licked between where our lips were joined. I made a show of licking my lips, teasing her.

She laughed. "You're so ridiculous."

I shrugged, happy to be ridiculous if it made her feel better. "I don't want you to be embarrassed. You're perfect just the way you are."

"I think you stole that line from some cheesy love song." She pecked the corner of my mouth, her worries seemingly evaporated. "You're lucky you have the charm to pull it off."

"Hmm," I hummed, tilting her face back to mine, guiding her with gentle movements. Her hair fell around us, a soft, fragrant curtain of brown. She submitted easily this time, the leg which was still intertwined with mine curling further around me.

The kiss started out softly but quickly picked up pace as we melted into one another. My hands wound around her waist, travelling up and down her back, indulging my need to feel her. It was a reminder that she was really here, not a illusion crafted by over a century of loneliness.

When her tongue started to wander into potentially dangerous territory, I pulled away, frustrated with myself for not outlining the necessary limits earlier. I was doing well handling the scent of her blood but if she were to cut herself on my teeth, I didn't know if I would have the ability to stop myself from pouncing. I didn't want to take the chance.

Her eyes dropped in misunderstanding.

I tilted her face back to mine with a gentle push. "Bella, love… I want to kiss you like that. But there's a chance that my teeth… I don't want to cut you. You need to let me lead okay? We have to be careful," I stammered.

"Okay," she muttered quietly, more agreeable than I'd expected. Her eyes never strayed from my lips. Immediately she was reaching for me again.

At first I returned the kiss consolingly, repentant that she couldn't act like a normal teenager in a new relationship because I wasn't human.

Gaining courage, I gently stroked her tongue with mine, careful to keep her away from my teeth. As long as she let me lead, I would ensure she remained safe. We had known we fit together well in non-tangible ways but the physical part of our relationship was new territory and there was a learning curve because of our unique situation.

What began as gentle, conciliatory affection escalated as we both lost ourselves in the unexplored connection. Hands wandered and mouths and lips consumed greedily. Her arm, the one free of the bulky annoyance that was her cast, migrated from my shoulder to my neck, eventually tangling itself in my hair. Too soon we were forced apart so Bella could breathe.

Her heartbeat pounded solidly against my chest, evidence of her life reverberating through me, reawakening in me a pulse that had long since extinguished. In more ways than she knew, she'd brought me to life.

A swell of affection for her washed over me, like a tidal wave so large and uncontainable that I couldn't help but get washed away in its flow. While she breathed heavily, my lips fluttered around her face, dropping kisses wherever they could reach. One for the top of her head. Another for her temple. Several on each of her eyelids.

Her eyes still closed, she grinned, placing her complete trust in me and my ability to refrain from hurting her. I would do everything in my power to ensure that wouldn't happen. Slowly, her eyes fluttered open, flooding my senses with heated brown and flecks of copper. She stared, watching me watch her.

"What are you thinking so hard about?"

"Nothing. Just… how beautiful you are."

She giggled. "I'm sure I look great. Pajamas, bed-head and all."

I glanced down, observing for the first time what she was wearing. A fitted lavender tank and matching shorts with little fuchsia hearts. Whenever I was around Bella, our surroundings and anything except for her became secondary.

"When did you change into pajamas?" I asked, fingering the soft cotton.

She laughed. "You've been in bed with me for how long? Most of it while I was unconscious. And now you're realizing I'm wearing pajamas?" She pulled back to sit on her knees. I felt the loss of contact instantly. I sat up as well, turning to face her.

"They're very nice…" I admitted. "It's just there was something else to look at that took precedence."

Her cheeks coloured to match the hearts on her sleepwear. "Alice got them for me, when I woke up, while you were out. My jeans were uncomfortable to sleep in."

I pulled her onto my lap, grateful I could use my worry as an excuse to have her near again, even though I knew perfectly well she was fine. Now that I knew what it felt like to touch her I was addicted.

"You went downstairs? In a house full of vampires?"

She rolled her eyes defiantly but settled into the spot on my lap where she fit perfectly. She wrapped her arms around my neck. "They were very gracious. Esme even made me warm milk. Who knew they'd even keep milk? Or pajamas?"

I resisted telling her they'd probably bought both just for her.

"Well… the pajamas are very nice," I admitted, tracing the hem of the shorts, my finger skimming along her thigh. She shivered. I pulled away, remorseful.

"Sorry. I know I'm cold."

"That's not the problem," she whispered. Her eyes met mine quickly before quickly diverting. She took my hand and returned it to her thigh. I stroked the soft skin hesitantly. She pressed her face into my neck seductively, encouraging me to touch her and I was lost.

The little voice from earlier that insisted I had no control was back, redoubling its mockery of my so-called gift. Certainly I'd become marginally better at ignoring the pull of her blood but I lacked any other form of self-control when it came to Bella.

The intensity from before was back and magnified. Holding Bella like this while she kissed me, having all her weight dependent on me, being able to hold her and wrap myself around her as she did the same, it was all just short of too much to handle, teetering between too good and too dangerous.

"Bella," I groaned, though it was a futile protestation.

She shifted on my lap so she was straddling my hips. I was effectively rendered mute. I held her as tightly as I dared, my body pressing against hers of its own volition, desperate to be as close to her as she would allow, needing the physical and emotional link to its mate.

My hand skimmed back and forth along her thigh, reveling in the satin feel of skin on skin, as she sucked on my neck. I wondered what it must feel like to her, kissing stone, but that thought was abandoned. Until her teeth raked along my neck and then closed around the impenetrable skin. My worry for the state of her teeth was nullified by the absolute pleasure radiating from the spot she'd bitten.

I stiffened, unable nor wanting to prevent the groan that fell from me. My vast mental capability was reduced to one solitary train of thought: more.

"Feels good," I murmured disjointedly. When she did it a second time, the breath I'd been unintentionally holding escaped in a sigh.

"Tell me what you want, Bella." I groaned, desperate to return the pleasure she offered.

"You. Your hands," she mumbled into the crook of my neck.

Eager to provide her with what she asked for, I skimmed them past her thighs, gently over her backside and up the hem of her tank, stroking the skin on the small of her back and pressing her chest closer to mine.

"Like this?" I asked, kissing her ear gently, eager to comply with her demand.

"Hmm, yes." She purred, shifting over me, her hips rocking gently against my stomach.

I could feel the heat of her arousal as surely as I knew she had to feel mine. The scent swirling around us was heady. She smelled even more appealing this way, but certainly not edible. My mind was as far away from hunting as it could possibly be.

Lightly, I concentrated on drawing invisible patterns on her back. Flowers and rainbows and hearts and anything I could think of to prevent myself from taking more than I deserved. When my hand accidentally brushed a bra strap, I pulled away, futilely trying to avoid visualizing what the torturous apparatus looked like.

If I let myself go now, I wasn't sure I would be able stop. And we would need to stop. Bella wasn't ready for anything more, and frankly, neither was I.

Our relationship – I hoped that was the appropriate term for what we had – was still too new. We'd only been together this way for less than a day. There were still things that needed to be said and done. We hadn't even defined what we were to one another, much less declared how we felt. I wasn't sure if she was ready. The second she was, I would be there, ready with those three words on a silver platter.

The three little words humans liked to pretend were magical. I'd never understood the appeal because I'd never understood the feeling. But now the urge to say them was overwhelming. It was like they were burning a hole in my chest, waiting to be said. Rationally, I knew there would be a better, more appropriate moment. That was all that stopped me. Bella deserved a perfect moment.

She pressed herself against me again and all coherent thought was replaced with desire. Bella clearly felt the same, if the unintelligible mewls were any indication.

Pulling away from where she'd been planting kisses on the shell of my ear, she fixed her eyes on mine. Our eyes still connected, she grasped my hand, pulling it from beneath her flimsy tank. Pausing briefly to kiss my knuckles, she placed it under the front of her shirt, encouraging me to touch.

I wanted to. More parts of my body than I cared to count were screaming at me to continue. But the voice I had ignored earlier – the one that championed propriety and waiting until our relationship was more than a day old – kicked in, rearing its ugly, unwanted head.

"Bella…"

I hated the look on her face; caught between crumpled and defeated. I almost gave in despite myself. "I want to, believe me, I do, but it's so soon. We have time. I don't want you to feel like we need to rush."

She sighed, resting her head on my shoulder. I hugged her, happy that she wasn't withdrawing.

"It doesn't feel like we're rushing," she whispered. "I know we haven't really been together, but this," she gestured erratically between us, "doesn't feel new. It feels like it's been building, waiting for the right moment to announce itself. Ever since I saw you fall out of that stupid tree over a month ago."

"I know," I agreed. "But that doesn't mean we need go all in right this moment."

She sighed deeply. "I know. But there's a part of me that wonders what the big deal is, you know? I mean, I'm 18… and… I've hardly – I've never…"

"Ages means nothing," I said firmly. "It's a number. I'm a hundred and four if you want to get technical and I'm in the same position you are. When we come to that bridge we'll cross it together. But right now, both you and I know that we're not ready to consider that step."

She glanced up at me shyly, quickly diverting her attention to the buttons on my shirt which suddenly became fascinating.

"So you've never…?" she questioned. She couldn't say the words aloud. I knew then that we'd made the right decision.

I stroked her hair, quick to reassure her.

"No."

She smiled against my chest. "Is it weird that that makes me happy? Knowing that if – when," she corrected, with a small smile, "we do…we'll experience it together, you know, first?"

First and only, if I had my way. My lip curled at the very thought of some grimy human child's hands all over her.

I badly wanted to make her happy, but not at the cost of her life. I didn't know that I would be able to make love to her while she remained human at all. My control felt as if it had been stretched to the limit tonight as it was. Whether or not she was human, I was certain that someday, somehow, we would get there. As my mate, she was it for me.

"Not weird at all."

"You were my first kiss, too, you know," she admitted shyly.

I hesitated, desperately wanting to confirm the same but I couldn't lie to her.

Bella must have realized what my hesitation meant because her face fell slightly. "I wasn't yours," she stated quietly.

"No," I admitted. "It's been a long time since I thought about her."

Bella looked torn between wanting to ask and wanting to banish the thought from memory. I waited for her to decide which before offering any more information.

"Was she… like you?"

"Yes," I confessed.

Bella sighed. I could see the influx of doubt rush to her eyes. She was feeling inadequate and that was unacceptable. I rushed to explain the best I could.

"I'd already been changed for a few decades. I knew James had found Victoria within a year of being changed… Vampire mating is a strange thing. It's very instinctual. When it happens, there's a sense of rightness and a desire to be near one another. I was starting to wonder if that wasn't going to happen for me. I thought maybe I wasn't trying hard enough and that was why I hadn't found anyone. I thought I might have to settle for someone who was merely a good partner if not a mate in the truest sense."

"But you're beautiful. Who wouldn't want you?" She seemed genuinely puzzled.

"Finding someone willing wasn't the problem. It was finding someone who I was compatible with," I explained, kissing her forehead. "As strange as it might sound to you, given we're essentially two different species, you and I are more compatible than she and I ever were."

"But if she was a vampire… maybe you–"

I cut her off before she could voice the absurd thought. "No."

"But–" she protested, stubbornly.

"Bella…"

"Fine. Will you tell me about her?" she asked, looking up at me pleadingly through her lashes. Though I couldn't imagine what good it would do, I nodded, unable to deny her anything.

"Her name was Maggie…"


	21. Apprehension

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing. _

_**Chapter: **__Twenty-one; Apprehension_

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN: **__So… yet another long chapter here. You're welcome (or I'm sorry) depending on how you feel about extreme wordage. Hopefully the supersized word count negates having to wait so long for it ;)_

_All the usual thanks. Jana who betaed all gazillion words of this, and you, yes you, for reading this. Most of you seem to be a little shy, but it makes me happy to know (hope?) that there are people out there enjoying taking this little journey with me._

xx

"Her name was Maggie…" he trailed off, looking at me doubtfully, probably knowing as well as I did that I didn't want to hear this. Or maybe he didn't want to talk about it either.

I mentally added Maggie to my list of least favourite names ever. I knew I was crazy to be jealous of this faceless vampire, someone who was clearly in Edward's past, but I couldn't help myself. All the female vampires I'd met – all three of them – were unspeakably beautiful. It wasn't doing anything for my confidence knowing Edward could have had one of them but was stuck with plain, human me.

"Okay," I grumbled, irrationally irritated. "Now I know her name. Anything else you'd like to share with the class?"

He sighed. "What do you want to know?"

I shrugged nonchalantly. It was only a very flimsy façade because I could not stop the slew of verbal diarrhea that followed. "How did you meet her? How did it happen? Was it only once? Are you still in contact with her? Was she pretty?"

He crossed his long legs, picking at a loose thread on the 900-thread count sheets nervously. He wisely ignored the last question, opting to start at the beginning.

"She was visiting from Ireland. She and her coven mates, Siobhan and Liam, decided they wanted to see the Americas. Siobhan and Liam are a bonded pair like James and Victoria. Maggie and I were the third wheels in our respective covens, each of us tagging along with a mated couple. We both worried about spending eternity alone and I suppose we were desperate." He couldn't have faked the melancholy tone. I felt guilty for being petty and jealous.

"It must have been lonely," I sympathized, though I was sure I'd never be able to understand the depth of despair he had felt. Here I was, barely eighteen, positive I'd found someone I could see myself with for the rest of my life.

"It was," he agreed. "But to be completely truthful, being with Maggie wasn't much better. We tried so hard to be what the other needed but there was always an invisible barrier between us. We never fit together. There wasn't a magnetic spark. Our gifts were further complication."

"I know you can read minds but what was she able to do?"

"She's an infallible lie detector. She knows when you're lying, even to yourself. That combined with my ability to see her every thought… we just knew too much about one another's every thought to maintain any sort of healthy relationship. It was intrusive rather than a bonding experience."

A lump formed in my throat at the familiar way he described their mutual ability to read one another, as if it happened often. "So you were together for a while?" I managed to say around the constricting lump.

My stomach dropped as I considered how long he could have been involved with her. He'd been an adult for decades upon decades, almost five times as long as I'd even been alive. How could I ever hope to compete if they had years worth of history together?

I averted my eyes from his; the bald earnestness in them was too much.

"About a month, before we decided, mutually, that it wasn't working for us," he said gently. His knee nudged gently against mine, as if desperate to maintain some contact now that I refused to look at him. "Despite the time we spent together, we never progressed beyond chaste kissing. It seemed wrong."

"I still can't get that image out of my head," I admitted reluctantly, wishing I could will it away. "The one of you in a passionate embrace with an inhumanly gorgeous, leggy blonde. Someone worthy of standing next to you."

Edward laughed. "Maggie is many things, but blonde and long-legged are not among them. Imagine Alice with freckles and red ringlets, and you've got almost a dead ringer for Maggie."

"Alice is gorgeous," I whispered, my eyes flicking to his briefly. They softened slightly as my discontent registered.

"Bella… please don't blow this out of proportion," he begged, winding one of his hands around mine in a sweet, consoling gesture. "You have to know how I feel about you. How I'll only ever feel about you. Maggie could never be what I needed. You already are."

That melted my irritation embarrassingly quickly. I had to hand it to Edward, he knew exactly what to say to allay my fears, not all the way, but just enough. As if that wasn't enough, he continued, more sickeningly sweet words dripping from his lips. I gobbled them up greedily.

"And, just so we're clear, you're gorgeous, too. Only you refuse to acknowledge it as a fact. I have no doubt that should you one day decide you want to be a vampire, you'll be beyond majestic. More so than you already are. But none of that matters. It all pales in comparison to how I feel when I'm with you. You make me feel like a complete person again."

I squeezed his hand. "I feel the same way," I whispered. "It's like you fill this empty space in me that I didn't know needed filled until I met you. But knowing that there might be someone else better for you in your past… it scares me. The thought of losing you, when we've just begun… it sucks."

"Bella, I'm going to say something, and I want you to listen." He held my face between his hands, tilting it up to his so our eyes met. I stared into the warm gold – lighter than before thanks to his early morning hunting activities – silently encouraging him to continue. "You are it for me. I know in the realm of human affairs making such a promise would be impossible. But I'm not human. I'm a vampire, and vampires are in it for life once they find someone they want to be with. I've chosen you."

I gaped at him, not sure what to say. Speechlessness was far from an ideal response but he'd basically told me he would want me forever, unconditionally. My entire vocabulary seemed inadequate.

Edward mistook my silence for disbelief. "I know it might seem soon to you, for me to be making such a vast declaration–"

"No," I choked out, my voice slightly strangled with the effort of forming coherent words. "It's sweet." I scoffed internally at the gross understatement. "Amazing. Would it be trite – if I, lowly human – said I thought I felt the same way?"

His lips quirked into the crooked grin I loved, his brow furrowing slightly at the same time. His expression took on a strange combination of jubilance and irritation.

"Not at all. Though I'd prefer if you refrained from referring to yourself as a lowly human," he grumbled. "It's bad enough I have to be exposed to the thoughts of a houseful of vampires who are in constant awe over the fact you're human and never spare an opportunity to think about it."

"I was just teasing," I nudged my knee against his playfully. "And you know everyone else is only excited. We're not exactly the most conventional couple, so you can't really blame them. Alice nearly talked my ear off last night with her endless questions. She asked me if I ever thought about what my wedding would be like," I admitted, a shot of adrenaline running through me at Edward's shocked expression. Whether he was surprised at Alice's intrusion or the thought that we might be married, someday, I wasn't sure.

"And have you?" he asked tentatively, as if worried he was stepping into a conversational landmine.

"No," I confessed. "I could never really picture myself getting married. It's not something I need to be complete. I want someone to share my life with but marriage seems like an excuse for an extravagant social gathering and copious amounts of unnecessary paperwork. If two people want to be together forever, they will, regardless of what a piece of paper says."

Edward laughed, twirling a lock of my hair around his finger. "When did you become such a cynic about the lovely institution of marriage? Scrooge wants his outlook on life back."

"You've got it all wrong," I protested. "I'm not a cynic. I'm a romantic. Don't you think it's romantic for two people to choose to stay together, knowing there's nothing but love holding them together?"

He nodded. "But it's also romantic for two people to want to tie themselves together in absolutely every way possible. Physically, emotionally and, of course, legally. It's a sacred vow of responsibility for the other's happiness in every regard."

"Pragmatist."

He grinned. "You know it."

"I do," I agreed, returning the smile. I loved that I knew him that well.

He pulled me into his side, kissing the top of my head. He tugged playfully at the hem of my shirt. "You should get dressed. It's already nine. Esme, Carlisle and Alice have formed a culinary brigade downstairs. They've attempted to cook you breakfast. More flour has ended up on them than in the pancakes but they tried."

"I'm sure it's better than anything Charlie could cook," I laughed, scooting off the bed. On the dresser, Alice had laid out fresh clothes – brand new and designer, I suspected – for me to wear. I peeked at a label, sighing in relief when I recognized The Gap logo.

When I reached for the hem of my shirt to lift it over my head, I heard Edward gasp softly somewhere behind me. I laughed upon looking over my shoulder. He was sitting stiffly on the edge of the bed, his posture rigid, as if he really were made of stone. He stared at the small sliver of exposed skin on my back with wide gold eyes.

"Perhaps I should give you some privacy?" he suggested softly, half-inquiring, half-stating. If he had the ability to blush, he would have been as pink as my pajamas.

I shrugged coyly, feeling bold. "Edward, you practically felt it all last night, I don't think it's a big secret what's under here. Besides I'm still wearing a bra. But if it makes you uncomfortable… I'll meet you downstairs."

He hesitated a moment, warring with himself. When he did speak, his voice was rougher than usual, crushed velvet rather than its usual silk. "I… I don't want to be away from you."

I bit my lip, understanding his response for what it was: his way of telling me he wanted to stay.

Slowly, fully aware that Edward was watching my every move, I lifted the tank over my head. I removed the shorts as well, stepping out of them and discarding them, leaving me standing only in my plain white cotton undergarments. Though I was half naked and the autumn air was cool, all I could feel was the heat of his gaze. I fought the urge to peek over my shoulder, knowing the moment I did so, Edward would turn away.

I let the warm tingly feeling linger for a moment before pulling on the soft sweater Alice had left for me over my head. Immediately I missed the warmth of Edward's eyes on my bare skin.

I quickly threaded my legs through the pair of jeans that accompanied the sweater, suddenly aware of the space between us. The moment I had the button fastened, I turned to him with a smile, inviting myself into his arms.

"Enjoy the show?" I teased.

He wrapped his arms around my loosely around my waist, and kissed my shoulder. "You're gorgeous."

I laughed. "Sure. Says my boyfriend."

He paused, hope written all over his face. "Your boyfriend?"

I nodded shyly. "That's what you are, aren't you? …If you want?"

"I want. More than anything. It's just… we never set any boundaries. I thought maybe you weren't sure. Or maybe you didn't want to put a label on it so soon."

I ran a hand through his messy hair affectionately; his insecurity was endearing. As beautiful as he was, it was hard to believe he had the same apprehensive teenage feelings I did.

"I'm sure. More than anything. I want everyone to know we belong to each other."

"Me too," he agreed. We stood locked together in silence for a moment. Too soon he unwound himself from me.

"Your breakfast is getting cold," he explained. "And trust me, you don't want to force your trio of personal chefs to attempt to use their as-of-yet untouched microwave. Technology invented for the sole purpose of reheating food didn't exist when they were human."

I giggled. "Do _you_ even know how to use a microwave?"

He nodded. "Of course. I spent a lot of time in large cities. You'd be surprised how many people think of random things like how to use the microwave. I'm being honest when I say I'm pretty sure I've heard it all."

xx

"This is amazing," I mumbled around a mouthful of pancake. "I don't know what Edward was talking about."

The moment I'd sat down at the Cullens' kitchen table a mountainous plate had been set down in front of me. There was no way I could finish even a quarter of them. I'd already made my way through two. I was pretty sure I'd burst if I managed to cram another one in.

Alice shot Edward a dirty look. "Of course it is. Psychics always know when their cooking isn't going to be enthusiastically received."

Edward rolled his eyes. "How many attempts before you created something edible again?" Alice ignored him.

"We're glad you're enjoying it, dear," Esme interjected to put an end to Alice and Edward's squabble I suspected. "You'll have to come by more often so we can hone our cooking skills."

I nodded, unable to say no to the hopeful note. "That would be great."

I peeked at Edward, to see his reaction, but his attention seemed to be focused inward.

"You okay?" I asked carefully, nudging him.

He nodded. "I'm fine. Carmen and Eleazar are impatient to meet you. I promised them I would ask you."

My brow furrowed in confusion at the names I'd never heard before and Edward's apparent familiarity with them. "Who are Carmen and Eleazar?"

Edward shifted in his seat. "Two vampire relatives of the Cullens. A married couple. They want to meet you. They're fascinated by my relationship with you," he explained. "But if you aren't comfortable meeting them, that's perfectly acceptable," he was quick to qualify. "They'll understand."

"Are they… I mean do they live like the Cullens?"

While I wasn't uncomfortable around vampires, knowing that vampires like Edward and the Cullens existed, I wasn't sure I wanted to be around human-drinkers. Not that I thought Edward would place me in a position where I could be hurt.

He nodded tightly.

"You don't seem very happy about this?" I guessed.

He shrugged. "I promised I would let you decide if you were comfortable meeting them. I don't know them very well," he admitted, "and that makes me nervous. However, they seem honourable."

I touched his hand gently. "If it makes you nervous for me to meet them, I won't."

He pursed his lips. "I don't want you to say no for my sake. Please know that no matter what, I will ensure you are safe."

"Okay, then," I agreed. "I want to meet them." Edward scooted his chair closer to mine, protectively.

They must have been listening from the next room because no sooner had I said so than a beautiful couple with dark skin and the signature golden eyes of animal-drinking vampires floated into the room. They made a beeline for the table, settling themselves across from Edward and me. All the others filed to the peripheries of the room, giving us privacy while remaining close enough to interfere if necessary.

"Good morning, my dear," the man, Eleazar I presumed, greeted, in a smooth Spanish lilt. "I'm Eleazar, and this is my wife Carmen. It's a pleasure to meet you. You're quite the extraordinary young woman, I hear."

"I don't know about that," I laughed, "but thanks."

Carmen nudged her husband surreptitiously, though her voice was loud enough for everyone to hear. It was a feminine version of her husband's. "Extraordinary hardly does her justice, _Amorcito_. I can see why she caught Edward's attention. She has a spark about her."

I flushed at the compliment. Eleazar chuckled; it was a soothing rich sound. "I think you've embarrassed her, darling. I apologize for my wife, Isabella, her mouth often runs without permission."

Carmen chuckled also, not offended by her husband's observation. Her mouth getting away from her was a common occurrence it seemed. "It's true. I'm sorry to have flustered you. Though you are quite lovely with your cheeks stained that way. You'll make a gorgeous vampire one day, I'm sure."

"We've made no immediate plans for Bella to be changed," Edward interjected quickly, his tone hard. "There are a few human experiences she has left yet."

I wondered if the speed of his answered was tied to reluctance. He'd never said anything against me becoming a vampire before. If anything, he'd seemed open to the possibility. I wasn't sure how I felt about the possibility, but it didn't seem quite so monstrous as it might have only a few weeks ago.

"I'd like to go to college at the very least," I added, supporting Edward's statement. "That's one experience everyone says is essential, right? By the time I graduate I'll be 21. I think I might be ready to consider what I want to do for the rest of eternity by then."

Under the table, Edward threaded his fingers through mine, the small display of affection showing his support. In my peripherals I could see his pleased expression. It seemed he was more than comfortable waiting a few years to make such an irreversible change.

Eleazar nodded sagely. "You're lucky to have time to plan and adjust. Most of us aren't afforded that luxury. We suddenly wake up in a different body than we remembered."

"If I may offer a piece of advice, little one?" Carmen asked.

"Sure," I agreed easily. Her warm expression made it impossible to say no.

"Hold on to your human memories. I can feel how attached you are to the people you love. It will sadden you greatly to lose your memories of them. Focus on those that are important to you often and with fondness and you will recollect them better in your second life. We carry our most cherished memories into our next life."

"You're right," I agreed. "Losing my memories isn't something I'm looking forward to. I can't imagine not remembering my own life, not remembering who I am, or was, I guess."

Edward squeezed my hand gently. "You won't lose that much, I promise. I'll remind you of every moment we've spent together if necessary. You'll have your journals, also."

I gaped at him. "How would you know what's in my journals?"

He stared at me innocently. "I might have read a tiny little section of it once when you were writing in the meadow."

I laughed, unable to stay mad at him. "You're always in my business," I teased, fondly remembering the times I'd scribbled my thoughts of Edward in that journal, wondering what he might think of me if he could read them. Now that I knew he had, I couldn't find it in me to care. I knew Edward adored me and nothing – not even the embarrassing ramblings in my journal – would deter him.

"You love it," he suggested, correctly, though I wasn't about to tell him that. No doubt he'd take it as permission to retrieve and memorize my government records as well as any other information about me that existed out in cyberspace.

"Eh. Sometimes some space would be nice," I said with as straight a face as I could manage.

Edward pouted. "It's been one day and already you're complaining that I'm stifling you? I think we're going to have some issues if eternity does become a possibility."

Carmen and Eleazar chuckled. "The two of you are absolutely adorable," Carmen gushed. "You're perfectly matched. The way your emotions bounce off of one another… it's like watching a world-class game of tennis."

Eleazar fondly wrapped an arm around Carmen but tilted his head to me speculatively. "Your gift will be well paired with his, also. It's a defensive talent," he said, his face a mask of concentration, his focus on me intent. "You've got very strong potential for a human. That makes it difficult for me to read; your gift is protecting itself from me, in a way. Given that Edward's gift is offensive in nature, it's natural for him to be drawn to someone with a talent opposite his. If you're able to match his capabilities, the two of you will be a fearsome duo indeed."

"You can see what gifts a vampire has or might have?" I gawked. "That's so cool."

Eleazar chuckled heartily. "In some ways. It makes me very helpful to others, for instance. I'm glad to share my knowledge. However it's a gift with very little practical use beyond that."

"What did you mean when you said Edward's gift is offensive?" I asked, looking between Eleazar and Edward curiously. "He can read minds, right? Isn't that kind of neither offensive nor defensive?"

"He didn't tell you?" Eleazar asked in surprise, his eyes flicking to Edward. "I suppose he needs time to let it sink in. When I informed him of the extent of his talent earlier this morning, it was a slight shock, I imagine. Perhaps we should let him tell you in his own time?"

Edward shook his head. "No. It's okay," he said softly. "I want her to know."

"You don't have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable."

He shrugged, looking down at the wooden tabletop. "It's not really important. Eleazar thinks my ability to read minds is linked to a gift for controlling situations. Information for blackmail, you know?"

Eleazar pursed his lips. "That's a vast oversimplification. Don't twist your talent into something negative. Control is not blackmail if you don't abuse your ability." He paused. "You didn't mention self-control either. That can't be construed as a bad thing."

"He thinks this is why I'm able to stand being around you while you remain human," Edward added reluctantly, clearly not wanting to talk about it. "Vampires aren't usually able to spend so much time in close proximity with a human, not without dire consequences. Especially not when they have diets like mine used to be."

"Then I'm glad you have it," I squeezed his hand. "Missing out of getting to know you because there was some invisible restraining order between us would suck."

Edward cracked a wooden smile. "Yeah, it would. I suppose it's not all bad."

"Or bad at all," I countered, leaning my shoulder against his playfully, hoping to lighten his mood. "It sounds really kind of cool. You can get away with anything. You and Alice in the same room will be a force to be reckoned with."

Edward responded with a tight smile and an abrupt subject change. "We should be going. Bella needs to get home soon. Her father will be expecting her."

I wasn't sure why he was so eager to leave – Carmen and Eleazar seemed perfectly friendly to me – but I wasn't going to demand he stay if he was uncomfortable. I was kind of looking forward to the two of us spending time alone together. The last twenty-four hours had been crammed with new meetings, experiences and an overload of information. Some quiet time walking home with Edward would be nice.

"It was nice to meet you," I told the couple sincerely. "If you're staying with the Cullens, I'm sure we'll see you around."

They nodded politely, exchanging similar goodbyes with Edward.

"You take care of that boy, okay?" Carmen insisted slyly as though Edward wasn't standing right next to me. He took my hand, his face neutral. "It's clear your support means the world to him."

"I will," I promised over my shoulder, allowing Edward to pull me to the door.

Edward breathed a sigh of relief when we stepped out into the fresh morning air.

"You were eager to get out of there," I observed once we were a good distance away from the Cullen home. I wasn't sure how far they'd be able to hear but the silence that had enveloped us wasn't sitting right. I knew Edward was feeling off-kilter about something and I intended to find out what.

Edward shrugged his slumped shoulders. Even drooping under the weight of his mood, his posture was hardly sloppy. Vampires were incapable of slouching, it seemed.

"It was starting to feel stifling, being pummeled with all of their thoughts, most of them about me and my supposed control. I just need some space and time with my own thoughts."

"Okay," I whispered, trying not to let his words sting, since I knew exactly how he felt.

As introverted as I was, I knew how draining it could be to be in intensely social situations for long periods of time, especially when you were the centre of attention. I couldn't imagine the pressure that came with hearing absolutely every thought everyone within shouting distance had. Unfiltered as most thoughts were, a lot of them had to be unpleasant.

"Not from you," he amended quickly. "I don't feel like I can be away from you right now. You're the one person I can just be with, without worrying about what you're thinking. Is that okay?"

The part of me that had clenched when he'd declared he wanted space released. "More than okay. I don't have any particular time I have to be back, so we've got time. Did you have anything in mind?"

He grinned for the first time in what felt like an eon, though it had probably only been a matter of minutes. "How do you feel about trees?"

"Trees?" I laughed, slightly confused by the randomness of the question. "Generally, I feel pretty good about them. They create oxygen so I can breathe, so yeah, I'd say I like them."

"Good." The lightness returning to his voice. He kneeled slightly, gesturing for me to climb onto his back. "It'll be faster," he persuaded. "I can run at least as fast a car's top speed, probably faster." I did as he asked, scrambling so my limbs were wrapped around his torso tightly, my chin resting on his shoulder. He took off the moment I was secured.

"We're going tree climbing," he told me as we whirred past a blur of green and brown with motley hints of colour. Trees that were starting to show their autumn colours, I managed to deduce, before closing my eyes became necessary in the fight against motion sickness.

"Tree climbing!" I couldn't have kept the note of terror out of my voice if I'd tried. "I don't know if that's such a good idea. The last time I tried to climb a tree, I fell out. I've already got one broken arm."

"I saw it happen," he admitted. "I wanted so badly to catch you. I hated that I couldn't. I won't let you fall this time or ever again."

"I know." And I was positive he wouldn't. Despite the instinctive fear of falling to my death, I felt more confident taking the risk with Edward and his lightening reflexes there to counteract my clumsiness.

"This is something you should see," he promised, as he lifted himself into an ancient coniferous tree effortlessly, even with me clinging onto him like deadweight. I didn't get hit with a branch once.

It wasn't until Edward made a move to detangle me from his back and settle me next to him that I realized we'd stopped moving. He'd been moving so fluidly, it had hardly felt like we were moving at all. Opening my scrunched eyes, I allowed Edward to guide me onto the branch beside to him. It appeared I did have some survival instincts after all. Their call to duty was apparently me hanging off a stick of wood a hundred feet above the earth.

Once I'd settled with Edward's arm hovering protectively around me, I finally glimpsed at what lay before me. My mouth dropped open at the sight. The magnificence of mother nature was spread out bare before me. From our skyward vantage we could see across Lake Pleasant and to the mountains beyond. It was stunning. Warm fall colours surrounded the stillness of the crystalline lake, backed by majestic mountain tops.

"Wow."

"I know," Edward echoed my awe. "It's amazing isn't it? I don't like much about the Pacific Northwest but sights like this make it worth the trip. Makes you realize that there is beauty out there in the world."

"You don't like the Pacific Northwest?" I hedged quietly. I wasn't in love with the tiny town of Forks but it surprised me that Edward wasn't either. He had admitted to disliking travelling with James and Victoria but had never expressed any qualms about living here before.

"No," he admitted. "I'll stay because you're here. It wouldn't be my first choice, however. For all the noise in large cities, I prefer them. It becomes white noise when there are so many voices blending together. There's anonymity amongst the chaos. And it's alive at all hours of the night. I don't feel like such an anomaly there."

"I think, when I move for college I'd like to move the east coast," I stated. "My mom says everyone has to try living in New York City at least once in their lifetime. If she hadn't met Phil, I think we might be living there now."

He laughed, the movement jiggling a few multicolored leaves hovering over his head. "New York is an interesting city. A great one, though, don't get me wrong. James and Victoria actually don't mind it, so we've lived there a few times. They preferred Jersey, though."

"So…" I drawled, "if I was to move to New York when I graduated, you wouldn't mind?"

He shook his head. "Not at all. Though I think you already know I'd follow you wherever you want to go. I want you to chase your hopes and dreams. I will support you, no matter what you choose."

"As sweet as that is, I wouldn't pick somewhere you'd be miserable." I carefully loosened my white-knuckled hand from the branch to clasp it with his, paranoid I might drop out of the sky at any moment. Though I knew Edward would catch me, it would be embarrassing nonetheless.

"As long as I'm with you, I won't be," he said, playing with my fingers, seemingly completely unaware of the fact we were hovering tenuously a hundred feet off the ground. "You make life exciting enough for both of us. I want what you want. I want to experience your life with you."

"That's sweet." I pecked his cheek.

He shrugged, staring at me with sincere golden eyes. "I mean it. I want you to be happy, first and foremost. I know you have this thing about your independence, but… never be afraid to ask me about anything you want or need. Together we can make it happen. Okay?"

I cuddled into his shoulder. "Okay," I agreed softly. "Though this doesn't mean I'm letting you pay for college. If I can't earn a scholarship or work a part-time job at some crappy little diner through college to pay for it, I haven't earned the right to go."

He chuckled. "So stubborn. Though if you think I'm going to let you work at some diner when I have the funds to cover your education sitting in a bank gathering dust, you're sadly mistaken. It won't matter, though," he continued, "because you're going to get a scholarship. You work hard and you're smarter than you think you are."

"This is nice… Talking about the future, I mean. Since school started, I haven't really thought much about what I wanted to do. I wasn't really looking forward to it much. Getting a degree was just another thing on my to-do list, on the path to being a productive member of society. But now… I want to see what's out there. I can picture us living in a cozy little apartment in the city, me going to college and you…" I trailed off, unsure what Edward planned to do. The extent of his plans, or so he'd said, all revolved around doing whatever was necessary to make me happy.

"I'd go to college, too," he smirked. "It's been a while, but I think I could catch up with the times."

"Awhile?" I questioned, brow furrowed.

"The sixties," he explained. "I was enrolled in a string of language programs. I resolved to learn to speak another language and attending university was as easy as learning any other way."

"So you're bilingual? What other language do you speak?"

It seemed kind of exotic that Edward knew another language. In Forks, beyond Spanish class, bilingualism was non-existent. Even in Phoenix, kids who knew a second language knew it because their parents spoke it, not because they'd made the conscious choice to adopt a second language.

He chuckled. "Not exactly. Currently I speak seven languages fluently. Spanish, French, German, Italian, Portuguese, Mandarin and English. A few others I've heard often enough in the minds of humans to be able to glean some understanding but have never studied them in a strict sense."

I kind of gaped at him for a moment, unable to say anything intelligent. "So you're a sept-linguist?" was my eventual, supremely clever response. My cheeks flushed in preemptive embarrassment.

He chuckled again. "I believe the preferred terminology is polyglot, but yes, I suppose I am. When you have endless time on your hands, you have to find something to fill it. Learning a new language is something to do. I like reading so it made sense for me to want to learn a few languages. Some of the best texts in the world were originally written in the great romantic languages."

"Still unable to form a coherent thought, here," I stuttered. "I can't believe you speak seven languages. That's amazing. I'd ask you to say something to me on one of them but I'd probably fall out of the tree."

"Well we wouldn't want that, now would we?" he whispered teasingly, his eyes dancing with silent amusement. "Something to save for later, I suppose."

"Definitely," I agreed, squeezing his hand. "You said I make life exciting for you, but I think you've got it backwards. You're going to make every day an adventure for me. I mean… look at this," I waved daintily to the vast open scenery in front of me, not wanting to upset my carefully crafted balance. "I would have never experienced this if not for you. Now you're going to speak all these beautiful exotic languages to me? What's next?"

His answering grin was equal parts mysterious and angelic. "I guess you'll have to wait and find out."

xx

I laid my head against Edward's back as we sped through the forest towards the outskirts of the Quileute reservation where I'd left my truck. It would look suspicious if we arrived on foot. Forks was a small town, but not so small that it was possible to get to one end from the other without a vehicle.

We'd spent a couple hours talking and laughing, getting to know new parts of one another, enjoying the scenery, but Edward, ever pragmatic, had cut it short – or so it had felt – by bringing up Charlie, who would be heading to the station soon. He always spent Saturday afternoons sorting through paperwork. My dad would want to see me and know I was safe, Edward had pointed out. Last he'd heard I broke up arm, and opted to stay the night with the Cullens.

Edward was also eager to introduce himself to my father properly. As much as he liked to pretend he'd made a smooth transition into the twenty-first century, thanks to years of enduring modern thoughts and values, a part of him was still engrained with the beliefs he'd been raised to have, and that included introducing himself to my father and ensuring his blessing before dating me.

I refrained from telling him that Charlie probably wouldn't be very receptive to the idea of a manly heart to heart, especially one involving discussing my romantic life. As far as Charlie was concerned, the less he knew about my personal life the better. Unless I was being put in harms' way, he simply preferred not to know. Getting my father's blessing was important to Edward, though he pretended indifference, so I said nothing.

Edward was a model teenager in every way – blood guzzling aside – so my father would probably awkwardly dismiss his introductions and shoo the two of us to the opposite end of the house so he didn't have to witness anything potentially mortifying.

My contemplations were disrupted by the sight of my rusty red truck. Edward gently set me down next to it.

"You okay?" he asked. "You were kind of quiet for a while, there. It wasn't uncomfortable, was it?"

I nodded. "No. I'm fine, I was just thinking about some things. You. My dad. You two meeting. Nothing exciting."

I turned to walk towards the driver's side of my truck but Edward stopped me, hooking a forearm around my waist and pulling me back into his chest.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked. The question ghosted coolly along my neck, sending a shiver down my spine.

"To my truck," I stated, though I thought it was pretty obvious.

"Now what kind of gentleman would I be if I let the woman with the broken arm drive?"

I giggled. "I'm a better driver than you, even with a broken arm. There's no way I'm enduring your driving right now. You drive like your ass and maybe a few other body parts are on fire. My legs are still shaking from the whole sitting in a tree a bazillion miles off the ground experience. And let's not forget the running through the forest at mach 2 speeds thing."

He pouted, wrapping his arms more tightly around me. "My reflexes are impeccable. I've never been in an accident. Nor have I ever been ticketed."

"Probably because you can hear the cops coming a mile away. If everyone could do that, no one would be ticketed. Besides there's only two cops in Forks and we're on our way to see one. I think I'm fairly safe from ticketing."

"But what about getting into an accident?" he questioned, looking at me with wide, deceptively innocent eyes. "Are you telling me that you think that, even with a broken arm, you can drive safely? I just want to make sure you're safe." He jutted out his bottom lip in a perfect pout, the big cheater.

My need to win warred with my need to give him what he wanted. Of course the cheating pouty face won. That face was potent. He could end wars with that thing.

"Ugh. Okay fine," I grumbled, though a smile was quick to break through my irritation at the way his face lit up.

"Okay," he gloated smugly, kissing the top of my head and dragging me to the passenger side door. "Hop in, milady. This will be the smoothest ride of this truck's life. I won't even crack sixty. Though I highly doubt this truck could reach sixty anyway."

He buckled me into the seat and kissed me quickly once more. In a flash he was sitting next to me with his seatbelt already strapped around him.

I laughed. "Are you actually wearing a seatbelt? If we crash, my truck is probably in more danger than you are."

He eyed me sideways. "There's nothing wrong with promoting vehicular safety," he said, affronted, though his eyes shone with humour.

He started the car, and aside from making a U-turn with the skill and flourish of a stunt driver, he kept to his promise of keeping his driving tame.

"I guess we should be thankful you're pretty much impervious to damage," I said innocuously once we were cruising down the highway toward my house, biting my lip to hide the smile that would give my teasing away. "My dad does love his guns."

He turned to me, eyes slightly terror filled. "You don't think he'll actually shoot me, do you? Because if a bullet ricochets it might seem a little suspicious."

"Taking your eyes off the road, Cullen? Not very safe," I couldn't help but tease.

"Bella," he whined, his tone urgent. "I'm serious. If you think your dad–"

I put an end to his worrying with a finger to his lips. He pursed them and eyed me warily.

"Sometimes you're too easy," I laughed. "Of course he won't shoot you. He's the chief of police. He likes to stay on the right side of the law. He's going to love you. As much as Charlie'll love anyone I bring home to meet him, anyway."

Edward relaxed slightly, his hands loosening on the steering wheel he has been griping almost to the point of distortion. "I know you don't think it's a big deal, but I want this to go well. I only get one chance to make a first impression."

"I know, I know," I conceded, repentant. "I'm sorry I've been teasing you about it. I know it means a lot to you. I promise I won't do anything to make it harder. But, for the record, my dad is just like any other dad. He likes to put up face but he's just a guy who wants what's best for his kid."

Edward smiled tightly but refused to look away from the road. "Then I guess we have that in common. We both want what's best for you."

We traveled in silence for several minutes, Edward steadfastly keeping his eyes on the road and his hands in the ten and two position.

"Hey," I said timidly, when I could take the quiet no longer. Usually I didn't mind silence, but this one was making me feel uneasy. "I didn't upset you did I? I was just teasing. When you get all riled up you get all anxious and it's kind of adorable."

"I'm just nervous," he explained softly. The truth of that statement was in his voice; it wasn't quite as smooth as usual.

I scooted across the bench seat of my truck and leaned into him, offering what comfort I could while he was driving.

He shot me a feeble smile. "This is something I've never done before. Not that I remember. Perhaps when I was human. But if I did, those memories are long vanished. I have no experience with parents."

"Charlie's a pretty simple guy," I offered reassuringly. "He won't ask much. As long as you don't mention that you subsist on blood, I think we'll be fine."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Will you stop joking about this, please? I know you couldn't care less what your father thinks of me but I do. If he doesn't like me, then maybe..."

"Then maybe?" I prodded.

"Then maybe you'll realize he's right, and that I'm not really worth your time," he huffed out in a breath, his words nearly running together.

"Edward…" I attempted, but he continued, his voice rising above mine before I could say anything else.

"I know you think it's funny to joke about me meeting your Dad because I'm a vampire," he said dryly, "but do you realize what the two of us being a couple sounds like to an outsider? Any normal person would tell you you're crazy – certifiable, straitjacket-necessary type crazy – simply for talking to me, much less anything else. If your dad doesn't like me… if he gives you a reason to think about how much you and I don't really belon–"

"Okay," I interrupted, "I'm going to stop you there, before you say we don't belong together, because that might make me a little upset. Let's not go there. Because we do belong. We might have our differences physically, but we're the same in the ways that matter. We like a lot of the same things, we connect emotionally, we share the same sense of humour. It's like you told me this morning. Maybe we're not the same, but we're compatible."

Edward sighed. "You've understood and accepted my world with such grace. You fit so effortlessly into my life. I never considered the reverse… how I might fit into yours. There are so many things that could go wrong. I don't want this to be what changes your mind."

I leaned my head on his shoulder, slightly amused that I was now the one trying to soothe his unruly concerns, when he was usually the one doing it for me. I was more than glad to return the favour.

"You're overthinking this. My dad isn't going to meet you as Edward, vampire. He's going to meet you as Edward, person Bella cares about very much. That's all he needs to know. That other thing doesn't matter."

"Okay," he said simply.

"Are you sure you're ready to do this?" I asked, as he pulled my truck into the drive of the little two-story Charlie and I called home. "Because if you're not, there's no rush."

He smiled wryly. "Nothing's going to change."

I waited for Edward to open the door on his side and followed him out of it, keeping close to his side, knowing it would put him at ease, even if he'd never say so. I held his hand and led him up the front steps. I took my keys from him and opened the door one-handed.

"Dad?" I called, ushering Edward inside. "I'm home."


	22. Audacious

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Twenty-two; Audacious_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_**AN:**__ Another chapter… and less than a month later. Improvement! ;) Thank you to Jana who held my hand through this chapter, despite all the kicking and screaming on my part._

_Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates :) Hope you have a white Christmas, because those are the best kind. (It's freezing cold here, but no snow. I'm feeling cheated.)_

_As always thanks to all you readers, hope you enjoy the chapter :)_

xx

"Bella?" Charlie's gruff voice called questioningly from the next room, the muffled sounds of a hockey game playing in the background.

"Who else?" Bella laughed as we removed and hung up all our outerwear. "Do you have another daughter I don't know about?" She took my hand, leading me in the direction of her father's voice.

"Just you," he answered softly.

The warm smile he'd worn for his daughter faded when his gaze landed on me. He regarded me silently, fixing me with a stare I presumed was usually reserved for police work. He flicked off the TV, swinging his lounger to face us.

"Who's your friend?"

Bella squeezed my hand, attempting to tug me closer to her father. Reluctantly, I allowed my stone joints to bend to her will.

"Dad," she beamed proudly, "this is Edward. He's a friend of the Cullens."

Charlie glanced between me and his daughter, a questioning undertone to his muddled thoughts. He wasn't sure of my place in Bella's life, though our body language had saddled him with several suspicions about the nature of our relationship. He tried not to think too hard about it.

"Hello, sir. It's a pleasure to meet you." Carefully, not wanting to hurt her feelings, I disentangled my fingers from Bella's. I offered my hand to her father.

He sat stoically, one leg crossed over his knee. He glanced at my hand a moment too long before accepting it in a too-firm-to-be-friendly handshake. The hard coldness of my skin registered with him instantly, nudging out his respect for the strength of my grip.

"Sorry my hands are so frozen," I offered the necessary apology, forcing a sheepish expression. "It's cold out and I forgot my gloves."

"It's fine," he said dismissively. "So how do you know my Bella?" There was no mistaking the underlying paternal protectiveness. He might be a man of few words but he got his meaning across loud and clear.

Bella sighed. "Dad, be nice, please? Edward… he's important to me, okay? We've known one another for awhile. You would have met sooner but well, you know…" She bit her lip, clearly unsure whether it was wise to reveal any more.

Charlie leaned back in his chair, his mustache twitching, barely concealing his amusement. "Sorry, wasn't aware I wasn't being 'nice,'" he grumbled sardonically. "Apparently standards have changed. Compared to when I met your mother's Pa, I was being downright chipper. So Edward, you're a friend of the Cullens? The newest adoption? I assume that's a reasonable question?" He looked to his daughter with raised eyebrows, challenging her to contradict him. Bella rolled her eyes.

"Not exactly, sir," I explained respectfully, ignoring the father-daughter head-butting playing out before me. If he wanted assurances, I would give him them. "Until recently, I was living with my sister and her husband. They travel a lot… for their work and I've tagged along. I knew Alice prior to her adoption. The Cullens have been kind enough to offer me a permanent residence on the basis of my relationship to Alice."

Charlie's face was impassive. "Your sister? Aren't you a little young to be living without adult supervision?"

If only he knew I was multiple times his age. "She's quite a bit older than me," I offered the first of a series of half-truths. "Living with her wasn't a matter of choice so much as necessity. My parents passed away a long time ago. Victoria and James are the only family I've known most of my life. Until recently," I finished honestly.

Recently, my life had been turned upside-down and inside out when a girl with long brown hair and chocolate eyes had stumbled into my world and promptly become my world. She was the only family I would ever need. The warm acceptance the Cullens provided was nice but a mere shadow of the meaning Bella brought to my life.

Charlie assumed I was talking about the Cullens. I didn't bother correct him. He wouldn't appreciate my devotion to his daughter yet.

"So, this offer Dr. Cullen has extended, to adopt you, I presume… are you planning to accept?"

"I'm not sure yet, sir," I admitted. "I haven't made a decision. The Cullens seem very nice but I don't know them as well as I'd like."

"The Cullens are a very respectable family." His mind simmered with respect for Carlisle. He remembered a time when Bella had been hospitalized – I couldn't make out details, a fact for which I was grateful – and the other man's soft-spoken kindness. "So how did you know Alice again?"

"Is this really necessary, Dad?" Bella cut in, reclaiming my hand. She pushed herself protectively between her father and me. She knew as well as I did that it wasn't wise for him to go rooting too deeply into my family life. "You didn't ask Angela or Jessica or Jacob for their family history."

His eyebrows lifted in amusement. "Only because it's common knowledge. Forks is a small town. Their fathers and I grew up together. I just want to know a little about the people you're spending your time with. Is that so bad?"

"Can we at least save the overview of Edward's family tree for the second meeting?" Bella asked impatiently. "He's barely said hello and you're asking for his life history? Is that really necessary?"

"Oh, I don't know…" Charlie looked at his daughter wryly, his thoughts flitting uncomfortably between Bella and I and the comfortable ease of our relationship. "The way you're looking at the boy, I'd say it's very necessary."

Bella glowed pink, tilting her head to the floor in embarrassment. "Dad."

"I'm sorry, Bells. I don't know what you want from me." He scrubbed his chin tiredly. "This is new to me. You've always been so reserved. Kept to yourself and a few friends. I know you're eighteen and can do as you please… but sometimes," his tone took on a wistful quality, "I can still see you with the little brown pigtails your mother used to love so much. I blame only seeing you in the summers for most your life. Hard to remember you're on your way to adulthood, now."

"I had to grow up eventually," Bella stated gently. "If you'd just give Edward a chance, I think you'd like him. He's really good for me."

"Look, I trust your judgment," Charlie conceded, his moustache hiding the beginnings of a smile. "You're like me that way; you've always been a good judge of character. If you say I should give him a chance, I will." He turned to me, his gaze level and deadly serious. "You're making my daughter beam like she swallowed the sun. That alone is worth my approval… but if you ever make her cry… I have a shotgun I know how to use and a backyard big enough to get lost in."

"I promise you, sir, Bella's happiness means as much to me as it does to you," I swore, utterly serious. "If I make her cry, I assure you, there's nothing you could do that would make me feel any worse than knowing it was my fault." The very thought of Bella crying because of something I had done made me ache.

Charlie pursed his lips and offered a single approving nod. "Okay. That's all I want to hear." Without another word, he turned the TV back on and resumed watching the hockey game in thoughtful silence.

Bella tugged on my hand, leading me into the cozy kitchen area. She hugged me tightly once we were out of sight.

"I think that went well," she murmured.

"Better than expected," I agreed, kissing the top of her head. "No sign of a gun. Though he did mention one. To be fair, it was only mentioned in conjunction with me making you cry."

"I think he liked you," she admitted, tilting her head back to meet my eyes.

"And he claims to be a good judge of character."

Bella glared at me. "You're a good person, Edward."

"You do make me feel redeemable, most days," I confessed, not wanting to rehash the now familiar argument. "You shine your light on me."

"You being good has nothing to do with me," Bella countered stubbornly. "You were fine just the way you were before you met me."

"If you say so," I replied flippantly, amused by her chagrined expression. I tugged her ponytail, hoping to divert her attention. "Are you hungry? It's been a while since you had breakfast… and humans should eat three balanced meals a day."

Bella chuckled into my shirt, her exhale not the only thing warming me. "Three balanced meals? Been watching many cereal commercials?"

I shrugged. "Studies have shown it's healthy for humans to eat often. Four or five small meals a day would be preferable, but with time constraints, three is the more socially accepted standard."

"You're going to drive me insane with healthy living tips for the rest of my life, aren't you? How do you know so much about this anyway?"

"I hear things," I mumbled into her hair. "I told you, people think about anything you can imagine. Food and sex are easily the top two. Money comes close, though. So are you going to eat or not?"

She pretended to think. "Well I suppose I could eat, since my boyfriend says it's the healthy thing to do. I want to be able to keep up with him. He's really fast."

My throat clenched hearing call me her boyfriend. Though the sentiment was vastly inadequate to describe the growing feelings between us, it was more than I could have hoped for.

"I think that's a good idea. He's very wise," I stated solemnly.

"Yeah…" She pulled away to rummage in the refrigerator, loading up her arms with the ingredients for a sandwich. I took them from her, setting them on the counter. "He's a little smug, though."

I peered at her innocently. "He just wants what's best for you. It's not his fault he's a veritable well of useful information."

"He is pretty special," she agreed, winding around the kitchen retrieving the tools to complete her sandwich.

Working in tandem, slicing and spreading, we quickly pulled together two turkey clubs. We offered one to a grateful Charlie and took the second up to Bella's room for some privacy. Charlie watched us climb the stairs. He made no comment, but spared a penetrating warning glance in my direction.

In the safety of her room, Bella sat on her bed with crossed legs and took a bite of her sandwich. I sat down next to her, watching her eat. Even doing something as mundane as eating a sandwich, she looked beautiful.

She glanced up at me through her fallen bangs. "Are you just going to sit there and watch me eat?"

"Why not?" I tucked her hair behind her ear, wanting to see her eyes more clearly. "You are far and away the most fascinating thing in this room."

She paused mid-chew, nodding towards her bookshelf. "You dare say that in the presence of the almighty works of Shakespeare?"

"I do. Words are words. Some are nicer than others but when it comes down to it, they are what they are. You're never what you seem."

She laughed, resuming devouring her sandwich like a woman starving. Tree-climbing had taken more out of her than I'd expected.

"Is that a good thing?"

"A very good thing. It's not easy to keep a vampire on his toes and you do it flawlessly. I've never met someone so endearingly, infuriatingly unpredictable."

"Perhaps because you know what everyone else is thinking, almost before they do," she teased. "Having to wonder how others are going to act is what the rest of us normal people deal with on a daily basis."

"How you all function _is_ a mystery," I drawled.

"It's what we know." She shoved her empty plate onto the night table behind her.

"That was fast," I observed, tilting my head to the empty dish. "Seems you were hungry in spite of all the disputation."

"Or just eager to move onto better things," she suggested, leaning to kiss the corner of my mouth. "I liked hanging out with you in the tree but it's kind of hard to do that a hundred feet in the air."

"We spent a portion of the morning doing _that_, before the trees," I teased, wrapping her into my arms and pulling her down so that we were laying side by side on her tiny bed. "Insatiable, aren't you?"

"Just with you."

I hummed in contentment. There were much worse things she could be.

She laid her head on my chest, pressing an ear to it and listening intently. "You sound just like the kitten my mom had during her save-the-animals phase when you do that. You sort of rumble but in a cute, sweet way. It's really adorable."

I hummed again, just to see her smile.

She threw a leg over mine, drawing herself closer. "Actually, it's more than adorable, it's kind of… sexy." She whispered the word like she was embarrassed to be caught saying it.

She looked gorgeous, all tousled hair and pink cheeks, half wrapped around me. However, with Charlie downstairs, on high alert, now that his daughter had introduced him to a boy he was pretty sure she had done unthinkable things with, I knew now was not the time to dwell on such thoughts. The places they would take me would lead nowhere good.

"Bella," I warned, gripping her thigh to stop it from creeping any higher.

It was one thing to push boundaries in the Cullen home, where all the occupants knew the extent of our relationship and a room and privacy had been offered. It was another to mess around in her father's house when he had shown signs of possibly accepting me as someone significant in his daughter's life, on the condition that I treat her right. Defiling her childhood bed in any way, shape or form would definitely not be treating her right.

"Shh," she quieted me. "I know we're not ready to go _there_ but I thought, we could… mess around a little. Don't you want to?"

"Oh, I want to," I admitted easily. I was baffled she had to ask. "But do you really think it's wise to do that… in your father's house? It seemed like he didn't hate me. I don't want to give him a reason to."

My diplomatic attitude must have been mistaken for encouragement because she slithered closer to me, her eyes playful.

"I'm eighteen. Legally, I'm an adult. I can do what I want, especially with my body," she growled, pressing her warm frame against me pointedly. I had to admit it was a compelling argument. I struggled against temptation.

"But your father…" I countered weakly.

"Does not factor into this equation."

"He's just downstairs. That has to mean something to you. You don't want us to get caught, do you?"

"Edward," she stated as though speaking to a stubborn three-year-old. "He's watching sports. Unless you're skating around wearing a helmet and carrying a big stick, you're off his radar."

"But there are commercial breaks…" My voice was feebler than I'd hoped. I was on the verge of giving in – as I always seemed to when it came to Bella – and it sounded like it.

"You'll know if he's coming. You can hear him coming a mile away. What's he thinking now?"

"About the game," I admitted. "He also liked the sandwich you made him."

"See?" Ignoring my hand on her thigh, she lifted herself to straddle my lap fully. Knowing I would never forgive myself if I bruised her while trying to stop her, I relented, removing my hand so she could move freely. She took advantage, slithering closer.

"Besides, we're teenagers in a new relationship." She pouted, pointing her full bottom lip at me. "We're supposed to have a little fun, aren't we? You have fun when we're together, don't you?" She licked her lips. "There's nothing wrong with that. Right?"

I touched her face gently, stroking the unyielding softness. "You really play unfair, you know that?"

She grinned eagerly, all sultriness fading. "So we can...?"

"You're too tempting for your own good. If we're going to this though, we're going to play by my rules," I demanded. "And that means I'm in control."

I held her hips, carefully reversing our position so that I was on top, cradled between her legs. I held all my weight over her, not wanting to crush her. I was a lot heavier than I looked.

Bella squealed as the bed hit her back, beaming wider than before. Her ancient bed squeaked obnoxiously. I stilled, listening for Charlie's thoughts to shift. He was too enraptured with the television to notice.

"Is that supposed to be a deterrent? Because I've gotta say, I kind of like it when you get bossy."

"Oh, I can be bossy," I promised wickedly, intending to abuse this newfound power dynamic to the fullest degree. "Since I'm in charge, we're taking this slow. No getting carried away."

She grumbled incoherently. "Who knew vampires were such prudes? You know, on TV they make you guys out to be all passionate and sultry and lustful and stuff. I'm disappointed."

I pressed my lips firmly against hers, effectively putting an end to her complaints. I nudged her lips open, pouring every ounce of love and passion I felt into my affectionate assault. I pulled away only when it became apparent she needed to breathe.

"Sorry, love," I said innocently, "you were saying?"

"That vampire stereotypes are well-researched," she hummed in between gulps of air. Her face was flushed prettily. I couldn't help but admire my handiwork.

I kissed both her cheeks then her soft lips. "Good."

She lifted her hips off the bed, pushing them into mine, her sly expression making it abundantly clear she knew she was testing my finely tethered restraint and enjoying every moment of it.

"Bella," I groaned, pressing her back down to the bed and distancing myself from her eager body. "Don't you value your life at all? If you keep doing that… I could…" I couldn't finish the thought. "I couldn't live with myself if I was the cause of your pain," I said instead.

"You won't hurt me." Her voice was strong and certain, full of a promise that I didn't know if I could keep. "Eleazar said you've got an exorbitant amount of self-control. As long as you don't want to hurt me, you won't. If you'd just try…"

I pressed my forehead to hers. "Not now. We both have some acclimating to do, first. We have time. Forever, if that's what you want. We talked about this. Don't rush."

She tugged on a lock of her hair in frustration. "What if it just feels right? Don't you feel it, too?"

"Of course I do, silly girl." I pecked her twisted pout. "However, I think one of us needs to think logically."

She sighed in resignation. "Ugh. Logic. What is that good for?"

"I didn't say we had to stop," I reminded, kissing her deeply. "I said we had to go slow. You did agree to play by my rules…"

"Okay. I guess I can live with slow," she said, her expression a total contradiction of her words. She sulked adorably, her hands twisting into my hair to pull my face back to hers. She tugged more forcefully when I didn't budge.

"Ed-ward," she whined.

"Sorry, love. When you get frustrated, you get this look on your face… and I can't help but stop to admire how utterly lovely you are."

"Less admiring, more action." It was a command not a suggestion. She had the nerve to call me bossy?

Not wanting to incur her wrath – kittenish as it was – I complied, pressing my mouth to hers. I opened it to her willingly, ever mindful of my teeth and their proximity to her delicate flesh. She readily reciprocated, greedily taking what I offered. Her hands were as active as her mouth, travelling eagerly over my clothed body. Sneakily, probably thinking I didn't notice, she undid a button on my shirt.

When she would start to lose her breath, I slowed our kisses to soft pecks so her lungs could reclaim some much needed oxygen. As soon as her heartbeat calmed to a more regular rhythm, she eagerly picked up where we had left off. I was so enraptured with her and the cycle of exploration that we had gotten tangled in that I almost didn't notice Charlie's decision.

Rightfully tentative with worry about what he might find, he decided it was a good time to check on Bella and her "friend." I thanked the heavens I'd been able to read the jumbled train of thought well enough to discern his intention. I drew away from Bella who shot me an icy, withering stare that screamed "what now?"

"Your father is coming to ensure I haven't compromised your virtue," I said simply.

She sat up like a shot, hastily straightening her disheveled clothes. And just like that the intimate little moment we'd cultivated was brought to an abrupt halt like a crescendo cut off before its peak.

She cursed. "Of all the crappy timing. I thought he would be glued to the game for at least an hour."

I smirked. "It's a commercial break."

Her lips set in a stubborn line. "Are you expecting me to say that you were right?"

"No. But it would be nice," I teased.

She rolled her eyes, doing up the three buttons she'd managed to undo on my shirt. "My dad's on his way up here, about to catch us mid make out, and you're joking around? You do realize it's not too late for him to bring out the big guns. And I do mean that literally."

"Relax," I soothed, straightening the strands of unruly hair that had been rumpled by her pillow. "He's only on his way up the stairs now. We have fifteen seconds."

She dug through the nightstand, digging out a tube of strawberry scented lip-balm.

"And now we have twelve! What's your point?" Her eyes were frantic as she clumsily attempted to straighten the covers on her bed with one hand and apply the lip-balm to her swollen lips with the other.

Calmly, I stopped her harried actions, swiftly finishing the half-completed bed straightening. Speeding across the room to her bookshelf, I grabbed two titles off of it, returning to her side within the second.

"That twelve seconds is plenty to a vampire," I smirked. "Here read this." I tossed her one of the books, encouraging her to sit and cross her legs in an innocent reading position while I did the same with the other.

Not two seconds after we settled into position Bella's bedroom door was pushed open by Charlie, a short, cursory knock his only warning.

"Hey Bells," he said stiffly, taking in our innocent poses with sharp, suspicious eyes.

His thoughts raked over our too-innocent expressions for a moment. He quickly dismissed the possibility of anything objectionable having happened, against his better instinct, not wanting to think any further about losing his little girl to some boy. His thoughts on the matter were so intent I heard them perfectly.

"Just checking how it's going, entertaining your friend."

"We're fine, Dad." To her credit, her voice wavered only slightly, all but a trace of breathiness gone. Charlie's thoughts flickered again but he tamped them down.

His eyes flicked from her to me, his lips pursing. "Well okay then. As long as everything is okay." He turned to leave but paused with the doorknob in hand. "If you need anything… I'll be downstairs."

Bella bobbed her head appreciatively. "Thanks." She let out a breath when the door clicked behind him, chewing her lip nervously. "That went better than expected. Did he suspect anything?"

"He knew. He's trying to come to terms."

"That's good, right?"

I shrugged. I didn't want to make that judgment for either of them. "He's been alone for a long time. He likes having you around. He feels like he's losing you when he just got you back. He doesn't want to push you to leave any sooner than necessary."

"That's ridiculous," she said stubbornly. "He's my dad. Of course he's not losing me."

"Well, to be fair, you haven't been spending much time with him lately," I observed, knowing my honesty would make her feel guilty. "Since we met, you've been spending all your evenings in our meadow. You used to make dinner for him most nights, before. He misses spending that time with you."

Bella flopped on her bed, leaning her chin on her elbows. "I can't believe this… why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know. Meeting me has made him realize how much he needs you." I tucked her drooping hair behind her ear, tilting her downcast face to mine. "You should spend some time with him. It would benefit you both."

"But you–"

"Will be here later. I love being with you but I'm not the only person you need to spend time with. Your father needs you. I have some things I need to do, anyway. It's been a few days since I've seen James or Victoria. They'll start to get suspicious if I'm away much longer. I don't really want to draw any unnecessary attention."

"Maybe you're right." Her expression was resigned, her voice small and worried. "I'll see you soon?"

I nodded, kissing her cheek. "I'll be back before you go to bed."

"I know I need to spend time with my dad, but… are you sure it's a good idea for you to go see _them_?" she spat, her dislike of James and Victoria evident. Her brow puckered and her small hand closed protectively around my larger one. "They might hurt you. You could visit the Cullens instead?"

"They won't hurt me, Bella."

"What makes you so sure?"

"As long as you're okay, I will be too. Nothing they can do to me matters as long as you're safe." She didn't look convinced so I added, "When it comes down to it, they need me. I'm the cornerstone of their lifestyle."

To some it might have sounded immodest but it was the truth. In their eyes, it was my job as the member of their coven with the most financially viable gift to feed our bank account. All the insider tips I had access to made it simple to play the stock market like a pro. Collecting large jackpots in casinos required even less work.

"But you're not the same now. What if they notice? What if they try to–"

I shushed her soothingly. "Bella, I've lived with them for almost nine decades. I know what I'm doing. I'll be careful." My assurances did little to ease the painful worry in her eyes. I softened my tone. "I won't do anything dangerous, I promise you."

"Okay. I don't like it, but okay."

I kissed her pursed lips gently. "I'll be back before you know it. Leave your window unlatched."

xx

I turned the doorknob to the cabin slowly, unsure why I was bothering with the effort of keeping quiet. James and Victoria would hear me approaching long before I reached the entryway.

I blinked behind the pair of dark glasses I wore as I stepped into the cold, unwelcoming cabin. The flimsy plastic contacts Alice had prescribed were already starting to melt in my venom, blurring my vision to an irritating degree. It was like looking at the world through a misshapen bubble. As Alice anticipated, I flatly refused to wear the baseball cap.

The foyer and kitchen area were blessedly empty, prolonging my run in with either of the vampires I'd spent the last several days avoiding.

I knew they were inside; I could hear the empty buzzing sounds I'd come to recognize as James and Victoria's thoughts. Though they each had their own unique resonance I so rarely heard them apart that I recognized them better as a single joined sound.

I found them on the sofa, their attention focused the television which was playing a WWII era first person shooter game. Victoria was curled around James who was flicking at the controller, one-handed, his playing flawless. His expression might have exuded boredom had it not been for the underlying smugness. He loved nothing more than reveling in his own superior reflexes.

I stepped a little louder than necessary to draw their attention, heading for the room that had been designated as mine. I kept to the shadows to avoid giving them a direct view of my face.

"Dude," James crowed, disgusted. He peered up at me with slitted eyes. "Why do you smell like livestock? It smells like you've been rolling around in a barn."

I straightened my expression into an innocent configuration. James' tracking ability made his sense of smell even more powerful than the average vampire's. I'd showered after leaving Bella's so he was probably smelling the animal blood that had made up my diet as of late.

"I might have had an incident with a barn," I said innocuously.

"Whatever. You stink. I think I prefer that fruity strawberry bath swill you seem to enjoy so much. Is roadkill the latest couture scent with the humans you love so much, or something?"

I rolled my eyes at his snide tone, not that he would be able to see that through the dark glasses. "Thank you very much for your opinion. I don't recall asking for it. If you're done sniffing me, I think I'll be…" I gestured to the closed door I'd been making a beeline for before the interlude with James. The sooner I got the requisite appearance over with the better.

"Wait, Edward," Victoria simpered, her little girl's voice scraping at my eardrums. "Is everything alright? You seem upset. You didn't even say hello to me."

"Hello."

I knew I was being insolent, but I couldn't really find the patience. Before, I'd known I was being steamrolled by James and Victoria, but had resigned myself to the fact that there was little I could do without potentially facing a fight to the death. With the Cullens support behind me, I felt astonishingly empowered.

It was a pleasant feeling, knowing that I could do as I pleased, without having to answer to James and Victoria. It made me say things I probably shouldn't have. Alice had warned me about saying too much but I couldn't seem to help myself faced with Victoria's patronizing attitude.

"Don't think she meant that literally, dumbass." James butted in. "Vic's right, though. You've got a bigger bug up your ass than usual. What's your problem n–"

"Nothing is wrong," I cut over James. "While I was in Seattle, I was thinking… perhaps it would be a good idea if I had some time to myself. I've been considering going out on my own for awhile now."

"Edward, you need us. We're your family," Victoria said, her voice syrupy. "Do you really think it's wise for us to be separated for an extended period of time? You know we need you, too." She ignored James' scoff. "Think about what you're saying."

"I have thought about it, I assure you. I think perhaps we might want different things at this point in time."

"This isn't like you, Edward." Victoria shook her head, disappointed in me. At one time, that expression might have crumbled my resolve. Now it made me want to remove it from her face. I might have, had my mother not taught me to always treat women – even ones as two-faced as Victoria – with respect.

"Then it seems you don't know me as well as you thought, doesn't it?"

"Edward." This time Victoria's tactic changed. He voice was harder, colder, like a mother scolding a misbehaving child. "What has gotten into you? You're not acting like yourself."

With my change in diet, maybe it was partly a matter of what had gotten into me, but there was much more to it than that. However I wasn't foolhardy enough to disregard Alice's advice to keep quiet completely. I'd already done enough damage by suggesting I wanted to leave. So I kept my head down and my eyes focused anywhere but the sofa, not wanting to take the chance blackout sun-wear didn't live up to its claims.

"Nothing," I lied.

"Leave the kid alone, Vicky," James interjected gruffly, playing the peacemaker in an unusual role reversal. Usually he was the instigator of any trouble. I tended to get along with Victoria well. "If he wants to go out on his own, let him. It's about time he learned the world out there is a cruel place. He'll see how easy he's had it under our protection. Maybe it'll teach him some respect."

He glared pointedly at my sunglasses. "If he wants to go run off and play house, wearing his trendy little glasses and the latest disasters humans call fashion while he tries to save them from themselves, let him. He doesn't deserve the title of vampire."

So much for James playing peacemaker. In a roundabout way, he was helping my cause – entirely by coincidence, of course – but his methodology left a lot to be desired.

"James," Victoria snapped, "let's not encourage this absurdity, shall we? He belongs with us."

James growled. "Does he? He's been nothing but a tagalong for the last century. Have you ever thought we might be happier on our own? Just the two of us? Like we were before you found him?"

Victoria stroked his cheek soothingly. "Of course I've considered it, baby. I know we had fun back then but Edward is a part of our lives now and we're still happy, aren't we? Nothing's changed, really. Now we can afford to live differently, that's all. You're still my mate. I'll never want anyone else, not ever. That's what's important. You know it, I know it and Edward knows it. Don't you, Edward?"

I grit out something akin to a "yes," though Victoria's theatricality was painfully transparent. James was too easily swayed by the hypnotic power she dangled over him.

"See?" she simpered, peering woefully into James face, her crimson eyes doe-like. "He wants us to be happy. He'd never do anything to threaten us or our coven."

James glanced at me, his expression cold. "Anything for you, Victoria, you know that."

"Perhaps we could negotiate a compromise?" I suggested logically. "James feels the two of you need your space. I want a little time to myself. I could take an extended trip to Seattle for the next couple weeks? Maybe some distance would benefit us all."

It was only a temporary solution but it would buy me some time away from their scrutiny. Two weeks was a drop in the bucket of eternity but it was still two weeks more to keep Bella away from them.

A taste of life alone with James might be all that was required for Victoria to change her tune. Alice had promised something would happen to make my exit from their lives a smoother transition. Perhaps this was the key.

"Vicky?" James eyed her imploringly, obviously wanting me gone.

Victoria ground her teeth. "If this is what will make my boys happy, fine," she said, her sweet tone a complete contradiction to her thunderous expression.

"Thank you," James said simply. It was the first time in my entire existence that I could remember him uttering the phrase.

I cleared my throat, an immense weight lifted. "Well, I suppose I'll be on my way. Seattle awaits."

I couldn't get back to Bella fast enough. I'd only been away from her for a matter of hours but it had felt much longer. I ran to Seattle, just in case James decided to check where I'd been, before arcing back to Forks, making a wide berth around the area James and Victoria had been using as hunting grounds.

The moment I caught Bella's warm scent, hidden amongst the leaves in the meadow, relief washed through me. It was amazing how much I'd missed her. I ran the remaining distance as fast as my legs would carry me.

Noiselessly, I slipped through her window. I found her sitting on her bed reading, her gaze intent on her book. The look of studious concentration was adorable. I stood leaning against the window for several moments, admiring her, before she noticed me.

"You're back." She grinned at me, dropping the book that had held her unwavering attention without a second glance at it, immediately scrambling across her bed towards me.

I kissed her forehead and enveloped her in a tight hug.


	23. Scrutinized

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing. _

_**Chapter: **__Twenty-three; Scrutinized_

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN: **__Err, so it's been a while… but hopefully the wait was worth it. This is a chapter I've been looking forward to writing for a while, and one I've had in mind since the beginning, that managed to stick, despite all the changes and variations this story has gone through… So be sure to let me know what you think :)_

_Thank you to everyone who's still reading this, after all these months. Especially the 250 of you who have it on alert. _It might not seem like much to some writers out there, but it makes this my most popular story, by far, in all my years here on ffnet. I'm also hoping to hit 300 reviews with this chapter, another record for me ;)

**xx**

I slumped in my seat in homeroom, bored out my wits. I'd been at school less than half and hour and already I was watching the clock which, unfortunately, was placed directly in front of my front row seat. The seconds seemed to be ticking by at half their usual pace.

Edward had been sweet enough to drive me to school – in my truck, thank god; I wasn't ready to brave the stares his Vanquish would earn us – and kiss me goodbye in the parking lot, with a sly smile and promises he'd see me soon. I hoped that look meant he was planning on making an appearance during my lunch break.

I definitely wouldn't mind the lunch break visitation. Already it seemed strange to be without him. As pathetic and clingy as it was, I missed him. I'd been spoiled by the last few days' uninterrupted time together.

We'd spent a good chunk of that in our meadow, goofing off and enjoying one another. The rest was spent in my room, putting my twin-size to good use. Not quite the use I hoped I could convince him it was best for, but a thoroughly enjoyable use nonetheless.

Just as Eleazar had predicted, Edward exhibited unwavering self-control. He was able to stop himself from going too far at the drop of a hat, though exactly what constituted "too far" was a hotly debated topic between us.

Edward was resolute that he wasn't stuck in the Victorian era and wasn't opposed to forgoing the martial license before our intimate relationship progressed but I wasn't so sure. Three days worth of making out on my bed and he hadn't tried to cop a feel yet.

Deep down I knew he was right about waiting to have sex, at least temporarily. Our relationship was new and we both knew it. But we both had plans that involved one another, beyond just the rest of my senior year. Though we'd never said the words aloud, we were it for one another. That meant, sooner or later, Edward was going to have to lose his inhibitions. I wasn't going to be a virgin by my next birthday, whether he liked it or not.

So I understood the temporary embargo on sex. Sort of. Understanding didn't make it any less frustrating when he'd slam on the brakes just short of being able to soothe the throbbing ache that was perpetually present when we were together. It also didn't make it any less frustrating that he used that as an excuse to avoid anything beyond heated making out. There were plenty of detours we could have taken along the way.

I might have taken his avoidance as an invitation to negativity, choosing to believe it was something wrong with me or what I had to offer but those thoughts were put to rest when I took a moment to think about the way he would look at me like I ruled his world. His eyes were so bright, so happy and so focused on me, it was impossible to maintain negative thoughts. He adored me and spared no opportunity to demonstrate it. Impossibly out of my league as he was, the tenacious vampire had chosen me.

That left Edward being a product of the society he grew up in. No matter how much he denied it, he had certain unspoken rules about respect and chastity that couldn't be ignored. Stupid chaste Victorians interfering with my chances of making it to third base within a reasonable time period. I could wait a little while but I definitely drew the line at marriage.

"Bella!" Jessica whined, from somewhere to my left, a sharp elbow accompanying the annoying interruption. "Are you even listening to me?"

"No," I admitted honestly. I hadn't been; there was no point in pretending I had.

Jessica pursed her lips in annoyance. "I was asking about your arm. How did you break it?"

Of course Jessica wanted in on the latest scoop. Which apparently involved juicing me for information.

"I tripped."

"How did you trip?"

"I don't know? How does anyone trip? With my feet." My tone was short, but I couldn't help it, I was already crabby about being separated from Edward. Jessica grilling me about my accident-prone life wasn't helping matters.

"Geez, what's your problem? I was just asking." Her eyes widened when they lowered to plaster-covered arm. "Hey, who's signed your cast?" Of course her eagle eye noticed the few signatures on my cast.

Without waiting for permission she yanked my arm out from where it had been tucked under my desk. Ignoring all the Cullens' signatures, she honed in on the inscription Edward had left.

"_We've only known one another a short while, but already you command me with your smile. I know there are still many things we need to say; I'll tell you all you want to know, just give me today. Edward_," she recited, reading the sweet poem Edward has scrawled on my cast imploring me to give him a chance to explain, after I'd first told him I knew he was a vampire, but before we'd had a chance to really talk.

I yanked my arm out of Jessica's grip, crossing it under my other one, though the damage had already been done. I wasn't sure how I felt about sharing a piece of Edward with Jessica, even just the poem he'd written on my cast. It felt too personal.

"That's cute. Who's Edward?"

Hoping she'd read my body language, take the hint and drop the subject had been too much to expect.

"Is he your boyfriend? How come you didn't tell me about him? We're friends, right?"

She had the nerve to look hurt, as if she hadn't just violated my privacy by reading a personal message aloud in calculus. Knowing the way Jessica's voice carried, I wouldn't have been surprised if the whole class had heard.

"Look, Jess, if it's alright with you, I'd rather not talk about this. It's kind of personal." I tried to sound apologetic but Jessica was being so pushy it was far from sincere.

Jessica pouted. "Okay, fine. But you can trust me, you know? You're like my best friend right now, since Lauren's always hanging out with Tyler."

I nodded along sarcastically. We'd hardly spoken the last couple weeks, since most of my time had been occupied thinking about Edward. It was hard to believe I'd been promoted to best friend status in that time. Regardless of how much time Lauren was spending with her boyfriend, Jessica was definitely closer to her than me. "Great."

We sat quietly for a few minutes, working on the calculus equations Mr. Varner had assigned us. I wasn't able to concentrate enough to be very productive but it was better than being interrogated. The peaceful silence proved to be too much for Jessica.

"Hey, so the girl's choice dance is coming up next week…" She even managed to sound somewhat disinterested, scrawling on her worksheet in purple ink as she spoke. "Are you going to ask someone? Or bring someone? Like Edward?"

I sighed at the obvious ploy for information. I had to hand it to her, the lengths she went to for gossip were impressive. "Jessica, please. I know you can't help your curiosity but I really don't want to talk about it."

Jessica tilted her head sagely. "Oh, so he dumped you, huh?"

My patience was wearing thin. "No. I just don't want to talk about it. Some people like to keep things about their lives private."

"Okay." She paused. "Is he hideous or something? Like, does he have a huge mole on his face?"

I laughed, picturing Edward with a large mole on his cheek. It might actually even the playing field a little, looks-wise. Jessica raised an eyebrow at my laughter, probably taking it as confirmation.

I shrugged. Playing ignorant was better than the alternative. Indulging Jessica's special brand of crazy was only asking for further crazy.

I was so busy pretending to studiously do my work and ignore Jessica that I hardly noticed Alice flounce into the classroom half an hour late. If she hadn't purposely brushed up against my desk on the way to hers – vampires didn't bump into anything they didn't want to – I wouldn't have noticed her at all. She grinned widely at me, offering a secret smile. I hadn't noticed she'd been missing from the class. She sat in the far back; I'd had no reason to suspect she wasn't there earlier.

No sooner had I turned around from craning my neck to see Alice settle in her seat than the classroom door was opened again, this time Edward strolled in casually, like he belonged in my math class. Unconsciously I grinned. It was a natural reaction to seeing him.

I wasn't the only one who noticed. Jess was staring at him like he had toilet paper sticking out of his pants. Fresh blood. Count Jessica to be on top of it. I snickered internally at how backwards that analogy was.

Edward approached Mr. Varner, who was sitting behind his desk at the front, handing him a slip of paper. Jessica and I weren't the only ones watching because the class went quiet enough for us to hear their conversation.

"Hello sir, I'm Edward Masen. I'm new?"

Mr. Varner nodded approvingly at the sheet Edward had passed him. "Ah, yes. Mr. Masen. Shelly told me to expect you. Welcome to Advanced Calculus. I assume you'll be able to keep up?"

"I hope so, sir. I was in advanced placement in Chicago, as well."

"Very good. You can take a seat, Edward. It looks like there's a free spot on Ms. Swan's right. Introduce yourself. You got lucky; Ms. Swan knows her way around an equation. If you find yourself having trouble, I'm sure she'd be pleased to help."

Jessica leaned over to my seat mouthing the words "oh my god" in my direction. "Wow, he's hot. Easily the hottest new guy since Jasper Hale. No contest," she whispered, glancing between me and Edward who was finishing up his conversation with our teacher. I fought the urge to stake my claim somehow – like by haughtily asking if it looked like he had any hideous moles – but decided that might seem the slightest bit catty.

Such a declaration was rendered unnecessary when Edward slid smoothly into the seat next to me, looking every inch an Abercrombie model. He looked good in casual clothes and dark-rinse jeans. He almost looked like one of us regular teenagers, except exponentially better.

He grinned at me cutely, probably knowing that he was in trouble for enrolling in Forks High behind my back. He'd known how difficult it was to say goodbye this morning. All along he'd been aware there would be no need for goodbyes at all.

"Hey, Bella."

"Hey, Edward."

I saw the exact moment the penny dropped in Jessica's expression. Her eyes bulged a little and her jaw fell open unattractively, rendering her speechless. It only took a moment before she regained her too-oft-used voice.

"No way!"

Edward snickered, no doubt reading her every astonished thought about how he was too good for me.

Jessica leaned against my desk to peer over at Edward. "Hi Edward." She batted her eyelashes ostentatiously. "I'm Jessica, Bella's best friend."

"Hi Jessica. It's nice to meet you." Edward smiled at her politely, a mild frown quickly taking its place as her eyes raked over him. He crossed his legs, his posture defensive. It was my turn to snicker. God only knew what he was seeing in Jessica's mind to warrant that reaction.

"So you know Bella, huh? Where did you guys meet?" If Jessica couldn't squeeze the gossip out of me, she was willing to pressure it out of Edward instead.

The sweet grin returned to Edward's face. "We met through Alice. She's my cousin." He didn't even flinch at the blatant lie. I made a mental note to remember that was his back story since I was sure it would be asked again.

"Alice?" Jessica turned to look at the elfin girl at the back of the room.

Alice waved playfully, wiggling her fingers at Jessica and grinning. Jessica pursed her lips, probably ruing the fact she'd never attempted to befriend Alice before. From what Alice had told me when we worked on our Spanish project, she'd always been treated as an outcast. I couldn't imagine how hard that would be for someone as outgoing as Alice. If it affected her, she never let it show. Her bubbly personality was a constant.

"Yeah," I agreed, bolstering the lie. "Alice and I did a Spanish oral together. I spent lots of time at her house and with Edward. The Cullens are pretty cool."

"So, you guys are like, you know? A _thing_?" The word was infused with too many implications to name. It was simultaneously a horrible description and a very apt one. It was hard to put into words what Edward and I had. We'd been loosely using the terms boyfriend and girlfriend but it was hard to shake the feeling those terms weren't quite right either.

"Yup." I beamed, trading smiles with Edward. He hardly acknowledged Jessica, his attention solely on me. "We're definitely some_thing_." Let her make of that what she would.

"Oh well, that's pretty cool. So it's like you already know someone, Edward. Well, beside your cousin."

"Yeah," Edward nodded along. "I'm very lucky I know Bella."

Jessica frowned, cutting her eyes to my cast, probably trying to remember what Edward had written on it. I shoved it further under my desk. She'd already read the words aloud once. There was no way I was letting her do it again with the person who'd written them in the room.

Jessica was quiet, just observing me and Edward for a moment, probably compiling a list of intrusive questions to ask us. Too bad she didn't have a flashlight to shine in our eyes.

Edward looked from his worksheet to me sheepishly, tuning out Jessica and her staring. "Do you have a pencil I could borrow?"

xx

English didn't play out much differently than first period except Edward walked me to class. My hand in his, he followed me into the room.

He proudly showed me his schedule, which was nearly identical to mine, save for final period Government. He'd not managed to get into that class, on the grounds it was full. He'd pouted about that. I laughed at his chagrined expression. Apparently even Mrs. Cope, under the influence Edward's spell, hadn't been able to bend Forks High's scheduling to his will.

"Poor Mrs. Cope," I joked. "She's only a couple years from retirement. You're lucky you didn't give her an aneurism laying your charms on her like that."

"It was all a waste anyway," he said petulantly. "Our schedules aren't even the same."

I laughed loudly. "Are you kidding me? In a school as small as Forks, getting into five out of six requested classes is a downright miracle."

He pulled out my chair for me, inciting the whispers of a few of our classmates, all kids I'd never really spent much time with outside of class. I still didn't know most of their names. In a town like Forks, a new student was a big deal. Last year I'd been subjected to the hushed whispers. Now it was Edward's turn.

The gossip was only bolstered by the fact he was interacting with me, the now-old-news-new-student, like he knew me. I could just imagine the ridiculous rumours that would be stirred up. A part of me was actually hoping that Jessica's gossip maven ways would have our version of the truth spread around the school by the end of the day. Hopefully without too many embellishments.

I took my seat, grateful I was independent of any ties to anyone in this room and that there was once again a free seat next to mine. Even better, this desk was connected to mine. After talking with Mr. Mason and verifying that he was supposed to be in the class, Edward slipped into it, easily falling in place next to me.

"This is nice," I commented. "It could have been weird having you in all my classes but it just feels natural, like you belong here."

He grinned at me sweetly. "I belong anywhere you are. The sooner you recognize that fact as truth, the better for us both. You aren't getting rid of me."

"That's pretty clear. I mean, you reenrolled in high school. No one retakes high school unless they have to. Braving cafeteria food and English essays and math homework a second time… you must really like me."

He claimed my hand under the table. "That's an understatement. There isn't anyone else in the world who could make me consider trapping myself in a building filled with dozens upon dozens of teenagers spritzed with awful body spray and full of repellent thoughts."

"You say the sweetest things, Edward."

He laughed and winked. "Count on it, baby." I knew it was meant to be cheesy but him calling me baby sent a shot of heat straight to my stomach. I liked it a lot.

We were interrupted by Mr. Mason, who shushed the class to introduce Edward who gritted his teeth and slumped in his chair throughout the ordeal. We were both thankful when he proceeded to the lesson on our text of the week, _Jane Eyre_, and all eyes were removed from the pair of us and focused on Mr. Mason.

Edward retrieved a copy of the book from the knapsack I hadn't noticed he'd been carrying. Seeing Edward retrieving school supplies from a backpack like any other normal teenager struck me as unintentionally hilarious. He was vampire, he'd done and faced unspeakable things… things out of myths and fairytales, and here he was enduring the mundane life of a high school student like it was a completely ordinary day for him.

Or it seemed ordinary, until I realized the copy of _Jane Eyre_ he'd retrieved was older than I was. By a lot. After some inspection, I realized it was a first edition.

"Are you kidding me, Edward? You bought that, for a high school course? Are you insane? That probably cost almost as much as my dad's house!" I hissed, not wanting to interrupt Mr. Mason's lecture. I was glad Edward and I were in the back row. Anyone wanting to stare at us would have to draw attention to themselves by craning their necks to look at us.

He replaced my ratty copy with his delicately age-weathered edition, like it was no big deal that he was offering his fifty thousand dollar book for my ten dollar one. "It was my mother's," he replied, also in a whisper. "When I decided I was going to enroll, I went to Chicago to collect some of her old books. She compiled quite a few rarities. I thought you might enjoy them. Someone might as well. They've just been sitting around gathering dust in my parents' house in Chicago."

"Edward, as sweet as it is, you offering me this… I can't accept it." I didn't even dare touch the book to return it to him for fear of what my greasy fingerprints might do to the aged paper.

"Fine." Edward rolled his eyes, but snatched the book from my desk like it was scrap paper and tossed it carelessly in his bag.

I gasped at the mistreatment of the priceless text, reaching across his lap to retrieve his bag from the other side of our joined desk. "Okay, you know what? That's like cruelty to books. Maybe you don't deserve this book after all. He'll be better off in my capable hands."

"He?" I could hear the laughter in his voice.

"Correct," I said haughtily. "This book deserves a proper pronoun." I clutched the bag affectionately. "'It' is grossly insufficient."

"Aren't you going to take it out of the bag?" he asked slyly, a knowing smirk on his lips.

I frowned, willing myself over my aversion to touching the book. I opened the bag and peered forlornly at the book sitting in there haphazardly, waiting for me to rescue it. Then I noticed it was nestled next to several other rare editions. Forget my dad's house, the contents of the bag had to be worth more than his lifetime earnings. I nearly dropped it on the floor.

"Holy crap, Edward," I mumbled, my attention still half-buried in the bag. "Your mom was hardcore, wasn't she?"

He chuckled. "Yeah, Victorian sensibilities through and through, a collector of rare, pretentious books, she was 'hardcore,' all right." He paused, his lips twitching into a smirk. "If she was alive today, I have a feeling she would have loved you."

"Well, that's good to know," I said honestly, though I couldn't discern if he was joking or not. "I would want your parents to like me. You already know my dad likes you."

Edward must have detected the unsure note in my voice. He brushed a few fallen strands of hair behind my ear. "Who wouldn't love you, Bella? I wish I had parents I could show you off to."

I shrugged, fighting off the heated blush I could feel threatening to emerge on my cheeks. I stared steadfastly at the books, refusing to look at Edward.

He followed my gaze, misreading my expression. "Look, if it's too much or it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to take them but I want you to have them. I'm pretty sure my mother would have too. She loved books, almost as much as you do. I can't think of a better owner for them."

Mr. Mason cleared his throat at the front of the class, shooting an annoyed glance in Edward's direction. All other eyes in the class followed, eager for an opportunity to stare at the newcomer without fear of being obvious too about it. "Mr. Masen, our names may sound an awfully similar but you are not the teacher of this class. I don't care if you're new; I don't tolerate disrespect from any of my students. I'd appreciate it if you'd pipe down and allow me to continue with my lesson plan. Unless you and Ms. Swan have something important to share with the class?"

Edward, smug hell-raiser that he could be, smiled at Mr. Mason beatifically. His innocent expression belied the smart-alecky comments he was about to deliver. I'd noticed, as a rule, the Cullens preferred not to draw attention to themselves at school. Edward had no such qualms.

"Bella and I were just talking about _Jane Eyre_, Mr. Mason. We were debating our interpretations of the novel. She believes Jane Eyre to be a feminist heroine. I disagreed."

Mr. Mason crossed his arms, leaning against his desk. It was clear he didn't believe a word Edward was spouting. I almost felt a little sorry for him; Edward never started anything he didn't intend to finish. Well… unless it involved a bed.

"Is that so? _Jane Eyre_ is widely regarded as ahead of its time as far as its feminist undertones are concerned. What would lead you to disagree with Ms. Swan's apt appraisal?"

Edward leaned back in his seat. He would have appeared disinterested if it hadn't been for the competitive glint in his eye. "Well, sir, in the conclusion of the novel, Jane forfeits everything she worked so hard for, namely her independence, to marry and take care of a man. By ending the novel with Jane settling into a typical domestic role, Ms. Bronte devalues her heroine's prior experiences, suggesting that the inevitable conclusion to any woman's life, no matter how liberated she is, is to settle down with a man."

I bit my lip to prevent the giggle I could feel waiting to erupt. Mr. Mason glared at Edward, not enjoying that he'd wrongly called Edward out on what was apparently not a bluff at all.

"That's… well, it's a fine point, Mr. Masen," Mr. Mason grudgingly conceded. "I commend you for bringing it up. However it would serve you well to wait until class discussion to bring up such points in the future." He then turned staunchly to the black board, writing something no one was bothering to read.

The class was too busy looking on with undisguised awe. Edward's cool points had just skyrocketed. No one got away with being sassy to a teacher with such grace, least of all the conservative Mr. Mason.

Great. He'd already charmed the socks off of Jessica in homeroom on looks alone. Now I'd be fighting off everyone in my English class, too.

He leaned close to me, so he could whisper in my ear, simultaneously linking our fingers under the desk. "School's a lot more fun than I remember. I get to sit with the prettiest girl in class and I haven't been slapped with a ruler once."

Yeah, school was a lot more fun than I remembered, too. Edward would keep things exciting, that was for sure.

xx

In Gym and Spanish, just like Calculus and English before them, Edward managed to make the two of us the hot topic of the day.

In Gym, we played volleyball in pairs. Naturally, Edward had gripped my hand, claiming me mere seconds after Coach had barked out the order to pick a partner. Even so, he swooped in just in time to rescue me from Mike's outstretched hand.

Shooting a glare at the back of Edward's head at the slight, Mike crawled over to Jessica, begging for her partnership. She stared daggers at his audaciousness. Asking Jessica as a second choice was asking for trouble. After a minute of hemming and hawing, Jessica gave in, as we all knew she would.

I didn't bother warning Edward that we were going to lose. He'd be privy to that little factoid the moment the ball was hurled in my direction, only to continue on sailing all the way to the floor.

Except we didn't lose. Paired against Jessica and Mike, Edward managed to save every volley I missed, even when they seemed impossibly out of his range. Yet as hawk-eyed as I watched, I never once witnessed him move any faster than the rest of us.

Near the end of the period, I managed to make one good spike. As we cleaned up and headed to our separate change rooms, Edward tugged on my ponytail affectionately and congratulated me like I'd been the one to save the game. Mike and Jessica looked on with sour faces, each grumbling that the other had let their team down. Jessica mumbled something about "looking bad."

We were halfway to the change rooms, when Coach Clapp accosted the four of us, his eyes on Edward. "Masen. You've got some legs on you. Saw the way you danced around your partner." He eyed me, fully aware of my athletic shortcomings. "Ever considered running track? Our best runners graduated last summer. We've got a couple spots open on the team."

Edward shrugged bashfully while Mike gritted his teeth. "Oh, I don't know. I'm trying to get into Colombia next year." He looked to me with a smile, no doubt recalling that I'd said I wanted to move to New York after graduation. "I don't know if I'll have the time to dedicate, what with trying to keep my grades up."

Coach patted him roughly on the back. "Nonsense. Extracurriculars look good on applications, you know. As do trophies. Think about it. We start practice to get in shape for the spring season next week."

Unable to let Edward get away with having the bulk of Coach's attention, Mike piped up. "Do you think I could be a part of the track team, too, Coach?" He glanced in Edward's direction smugly, awaiting Coach begging for his participation, as well.

Coach smiled kindly at him. "Sure, Newton, we always need someone to keep track of stats. Hey, you're friends with Crowley, right? He's not in any of my classes this semester. Bring him with you. He did a good relay last year."

"Sure, Coach," Mike mumbled, deflating like a popped balloon. I don't think I was the only one who felt a little sorry for the poor guy, even if he was fishing for compliments. Even Jessica took notice enough to grab his hand in consolation. That made him brighten marginally, though her starry-eyed glance at an oblivious Edward quickly erased that, too.

In Spanish, Edward immediately set about wowing Ms. Goff as he had all our other teachers.

Once she'd approved his little blue slip and made sure he was settled into a seat, she asked how comfortable he was with the language. When he responded in perfectly fluent Spanish, she nearly lost her cool, melting into a pool of pleasure right where she was standing next to the black board writing out the day's lesson plan.

The two of them set off in a fast-paced conversation in Spanish. I could only make out a few words, "Spain," and "wonderful," among them.

Alice, who sat on the opposite side of me from Edward (who had charmed the original owner of the seat into switching) rolled her eyes and made the "blah, blah" motion with her hand, nodding in Edward's direction.

"He's showing off," she whispered. "He told Ms. Goff he's been to Spain and is raving about how lovely her home country is. They're talking about his trip."

That was something I'd have to revisit later… and possibly grill him over. I fought down a teeny tiny marginal bit of jealousy, reminding myself he was over a century old. He'd had plenty of time to see the world, multiple times over, in fact.

"Well, I have to hand it to him, he certainly knows all the right buttons to push to make our teachers fall all over themselves for him," I admitted.

"This is what Eleazar was talking about, you know, about the control?" Alice supplied, her voice hushed, so we wouldn't be overheard, "He might not see it, but he has a way with people, getting them to do what he wants. It's subtle but it's a potent gift."

"No kidding." I was unable to take my eyes off of him and not for the usual reasons. Watching him expertly wrap all our teachers around his finger was kind of mesmerizing. "You could do the same, though, couldn't you, if you wanted to?"

While part of the display happening in front of me was purely Edward, part of it was the fact he was a vampire. Alice, Jasper or Rosalie could just as easily master a language, or memorize a book, or exhibit master reflexes.

"Some of it, yes. My family and I prefer to keep quiet. Our lives being what they are, we've learned to appreciate what we can do under the cover of secrecy. Edward, on the other hand, has been taught that he's superior to everyone else and there's no reason for him to hide it. It's a different way of living that's all."

"I think I like your way better. Being the centre of attention just because I'm with Edward is weird and kind of humiliating. It's like a real life version of the prince and the toad before the magic kiss."

Alice giggled, watching Edward who was still deep in conversation with Ms. Goff. "He's not happy I told you that. He doesn't want me telling you he's an elitist snob incapable of lowering himself to human potential. Though to be fair, only a fraction of it's him; it's the lifestyle his coven practiced. Victoria's quite flamboyant. She enjoys luxury and attention. James enjoys boasting his supremacy. Both of them have had an influence on Edward, whether he wants to see it or not."

"I can hear you, you know," Edward turned to address Alice over my desk once Ms. Goff finally returned to finish what she'd been writing on the blackboard. The class collectively sighed, displeased that Ms. Goff's distraction had been eliminated and it appeared there would be work to do after all.

Alice grinned. "I know. You needed to hear it. You're embarrassing your girlfriend by being such a Type A."

He looked to me imploringly. "Am I really? Because if I am, you know that you're more important. I can–"

"Alice is just messing with you," I interrupted, Alice's wicked smirk confirming the statement. "Yeah, it's kind of weird, but it's also kind of amazing. You're kind of amazing. And now everyone else can see it, too. It just makes me a little self-conscious. What do I have to contribute?"

"You," he said simply.

And yeah, he had me wrapped around his finger just as much as everyone else.

xx

"So…" Alice trilled when Edward and I slid into the seats across from her and Jasper at their lunch table. Rosalie sat on the end of the table, silently fuming, it looked like. "How has your first day been so far, cousin of mine?" I wasn't sure why she bothered with the small talk. No doubt she already knew.

Edward shrugged, fiddling with his unopened milk carton. "It was okay."

I chuckled. "Sure. Just okay? Except for Ms. Goff and Coach Clapp both think you're god's gift to their classrooms, and you went toe to toe with the unflappable Mr. Mason and came out the other side smiling. I'd say it was a rousing success."

"That's not counting the fact he's the number one topic of gossip in the school and we're only halfway through the day," Alice added helpfully. Rosalie scoffed, rolling her eyes.

Jasper wrapped an arm around Alice casually. "Ali's right, you sure know how to make a splash, man. I don't remember it being quite this bad when the three of us started. It was bad, don't get me wrong, but everyone kind of viewed us as freaky charity cases. You've set yourself up as the high school's newest heartthrob."

Edward scowled. "Great. As if I don't hear enough shit in these kid's thoughts. Now they're going to be picturing me in my underwear all day. If I'm lucky."

His irritation was actually kind of cute. I couldn't help but rile him up a little. "I think Jessica beat everyone else to that punch."

Jasper chuckled. "Been there. Hell, I think every male in the school's been there. Except Newton, the poor kid can barely get her to look at him twice. If he'd just learn the art of playing it cool, he might have a shot."

Edward ignored Jasper, looking to me. "You knew about that?"

I laughed at his shocked tone. "Everyone with eyes knew about that. If she'd stared any harder your clothes might have _actually_ singed off."

Edward got a sly little smile on his face. "What about you, Ms. Swan? Do you have any naughty thoughts about me?"

My reddened cheeks answered for me. I couldn't leave it at that, though, so I added snottily, "I'm allowed to, I'm your girlfriend."

Rosalie dropped an untouched apple loudly onto her lunch tray. Everyone else at the table to looked up. "Oops. Sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt the cross-species flirting. Carry on then," she said her tone clipped.

Alice looked to her adopted sister with an unreadable expression. "Rosalie…"

Rosalie's scornful expression could have peeled paint. "Save it, Alice. I understand. You've made your choice."

"Don't do this, Rosalie. You know there is no choice–"

"Edward it is. I'll find another table tomorrow, don't worry." Rosalie snatched up her lunch tray, hardly pausing to dump its pristine contents in the trash before storming out of the cafeteria.

We were all silent for several moments. Alice looked like someone had kicked her puppy. "I'm sorry guys," she said finally. "I'm sure you've gathered, but Rosalie doesn't like Edward much."

"Gee, what tipped you off?" Edward wondered sardonically. "The fact she storms off every time I'm in a room with her? Or is it all the yelling that proceeds it?"

"Rosalie's just set in her ways," Jasper explained. "She's stubborn as all hell. Give her a few centuries and she'll warm up to you, I'm sure."

"If you think I'm going to spend centuries with Rosalie, you're out of your mind," Edward countered coldly. "She's given me no reason to want to gain her respect."

"It's more than just her not respecting you," Alice said quietly. "She's jealous."

"Of the fact you're spending time with me? Or of the fact your family supposedly risked her life to save mine?" Edward's tone made it clear he thought both were ridiculous reasons for Rosalie to be envious.

"That's only a small part of it. Those are excuses, a veneer, really."

"I don't understand."

"She's jealous that you have Bella," Alice stated somberly. "More than anything Rosalie wants someone who will love her. For a time, before I found out about Bella, Rosalie thought you might be the one. Then, when she found out you already had a mate… well, it was upsetting for her to have that chance taken away. She's not usually one for optimism, so for her to hope, then have that hope crushed… it wasn't pleasant. For any of us."

Edward looked aghast. He curled me into his side as if having me close could protect him from the conversation he was having. "Rosalie wants me to be her mate?"

It was difficult to tell who was more upset at the prospect, me or Edward. Edward had said he wanted me but that was before he'd been offered the chance with a blonde bombshell of a vampire. I reminded myself what he'd said about Maggie and incompatibility, forcing down my uncertainty.

"No, not anymore. Once she realized you had Bella, that idea was put to rest. She's just jealous that you have someone. She feels as though everyone but her has been coupled off. The fact that Bella's human is especially difficult for her. Rosalie would give up everything she owns, including her own life, to be human again."

"I don't understand why all of you have such a fixation on humanity," I cut in. "From my side of the fence, it doesn't seem like you're missing out on much."

Alice smiled wanly. "It's the one thing we can't have. No amount of time or money will buy our humanity back."

"So it's a grass is greener on the other side kind of deal?"

"Not exactly," Alice hesitated, glancing at Edward. "There are several things that are directly tied to humanity. Having children, for example. And, in Rosalie's belief, love. Rosalie lived a charmed existence as a human. She feels she's been robbed of that as a vampire. She's been unmated since her change in the thirties. Loneliness has been a difficult emotion for her to cope with."

Jasper weaved his fingers with Alice's. "Extremely difficult. Some days all she does is wallow. The weight of it is overwhelming, even for me. And I'm equipped to deal with such powerful emotions. Rosalie isn't."

"Jasper's an empath," Edward whispered close to my ear, offering context. "He feels everything those around him do as if they were his own emotions."

"That's right. Sorry, Bella, I forget you're new to all of this…"

"It's okay," I smiled at Jasper. "That's horrible that Rosalie feels that way. I feel awful for thinking badly of her." Edward pursed his lips, a lot less willing to forgive Rosalie's indiscretions than I was.

"Most people do, if you want the truth," Jasper said honestly. "Rosalie puts up a tough exterior. She's not an easy person to like."

"You've got to understand," Alice added, in defense of her sister, "she's lived with two couples for most of her existence. She's tired of feeling like the only one who doesn't have someone. She's just protecting herself."

"I think you would know I understand that better than just about anyone," Edward said stiffly.

"I know that. Rosalie doesn't. Perhaps you should talk to her, let her know she isn't alone in feeling that way. It might help her attitude to you," Alice suggested quietly.

Edward sighed. "As excruciating as talking to Rosalie sounds, no one should have to feel that alone. I didn't know which way was up until Bella." He kissed my forehead tenderly. "If my experience can offer her some solace, perhaps it's worth a shot…"

Alice beamed, all traces of her somber attitude gone. "You won't regret it Edward!"

Edward frowned at her excitement. "I think I might be already."

xx

The rest of the day flew by just as the morning had. With Edward in my classes, everything seemed new and exciting. Biology, always my least favourite class, was suddenly a lot more fun than I remembered it being, a fact which Edward smugly rubbed in my face.

"I told you you'd love to have me as a biology partner," he grinned. He'd secured the seat next to mine; the boy who'd used to sit next to me had eagerly forfeited it when Edward stared him down.

"What?" I questioned stupidly.

"Please don't tell me you forgot… That day in the meadow that we practiced using the scientific method?"

"Oh," I laughed, having vague recollections of him geekily using the scientific method as an excuse to make me laugh. "You remember everything."

"With perfect clarity," he confirmed.

All through the boring documentary on molecular genetics, he'd held my hand under our desk and cuddled into my side, the darkness giving him an excuse to be more openly affectionate. As embarrassingly cliché as it was, I hadn't been able to concentrate on the movie well enough to take the notes that I should have been. My mind wandered too easily, thinking about Edward and the day's events.

When Mr. Banner clicked the TV off, Edward calmly shoved the sheaf of paper he'd scrawled his notes on in perfect cursive to my side of the desk. "You can have mine," he said, upon seeing my notes for the 40-minute film consisted of a measly five lines of chicken scratch.

I shrugged, knowing better than to refuse. Edward had a way of making things happen as he wanted them to. Besides, I really needed to figure out what the movie had been about.

In government, I finally got a reprieve from the heady feeling of having Edward near. As much as I enjoyed the opportunity to spend more time with him and sharing my world with him, I had to admit he was distracting. I took some comfort from knowing I wasn't the only one. The entire population of Forks High seemed to have been left reeling in his wake.

"So…" Angela said, leaning across her desk to grin at me. "I hear you've already staked claim on the new guy. You've crushed the hopes and dreams of a hundred freshmen, I hope you know."

"I thought you were above gossip, Ang," I teased.

Angela shrugged. "Only when it doesn't involve my friends and really hot new students. So, spill. What's the deal?"

"No deal. I like Edward, he likes me. That's it."

"That's never it," Angela asserted knowingly. "If you don't want to talk about it, that's cool, but don't sell it short."

I sighed in resignation. I was going to tell the story sooner or later. It might as well be to Angela, who I knew I could trust not to distort it into something it wasn't. "You know that friend I was talking about, before? Last week?"

"The outsider?" she said, recognition sliding across her expression along with a bright smile. "Nice going, getting in there early. Lucky."

"Yeah, lucky is putting it mildly. I still don't understand why he picked me but I'm not about to question it."

Angela paused, her light brown eyes turning serious. "You know I'm happy for you, right? You deserve someone special more than anyone I know. Edward seems like a really nice guy… based on what people are saying. You'll have to introduce me to him sometime. I've got to make sure he's up to standards."

"Trust me," I grinned, "That shouldn't be a problem. He's perfect, Ang. I mean it. He's more than what everyone thinks. They look and see a pretty face, but he's really smart and funny and sweet, too."

Angela chuckled. "Sounds like the freshmen aren't the only ones falling all over themselves," she teased.

I didn't bother deny it. There was no point. It was written all over my face in the emotional equivalent of thick black sharpie.

"Now we just need to find you someone," I teased, eager to turn the spotlight around on her.

Her cheeks darkened. "Well, there's this guy in my photography class, Ben." I nodded along, an image of a short, skinny boy with jet black hair I'd had in one of my classes last year fizzling in the back of my mind. "He's really shy, though. I don't know what to do to make him think of me as a possibility."

"Hmm," I drawled. "Well, someone really smart told me that persistence pays off. I think she might have been right."

xx

Angela walked with me to the parking lot once class was over. Edward had promised he'd drive me home and she had insisted it was the perfect time for her to introduce herself to him.

We'd just stepped outside when I was accosted with a pair of cool arms wrapping themselves around my waist.

Angela beamed up at Edward who returned the smile more cautiously. "Hey, Edward. I'm Angela, one of Bella's friends."

"It seems you already know me, but it's nice to meet you Angela," Edward greeted, detangling one hand from around my waist to shake hers. She didn't even flinch at the temperature of his skin.

Angela tilted her head, observing the two of us for a moment before nodding. "Yes, I approve. You guys would make some excellent photos. You'll have to let me shoot you for the school paper. You guys are really cute. It's kind of making me jealous."

I laughed. "Go find Ben. I bet if you asked him out first he wouldn't say no."

With a goodbye wave and a skip, she was off. To find Ben, I hoped. Angela deserved happiness just as much as she said I did.

"She's really nice," Edward observed. "Her mind is absolutely genuine. That kind of sincerity is nearly nonexistent."

"I wouldn't doubt it. She's a great friend."

"Come on," he said, loosening his arms from around me. Taking my hand he led me toward the lines of parked cars. "I think I've had enough school for today. Let's get you home."

I groaned when I saw where we headed. "You thrive on being as ostentatious as possible, don't you?"

Edward grinned, unlocking the Vanquish with his keychain remote. "There's nothing wrong with enjoying a little luxury."

"Why couldn't you drive a Volvo or something less... James Bond?"

He grimaced. "I'm not a soccer mom."

"You could have brought my truck. We might have had a teeny tiny chance of escaping without every single eye in the parking lot being focused on us."

He grinned innocently. "Where's the fun in that? I want people to know who you're leaving with."

I laughed. "That's what you're worried about? If you think anyone's going to be looking at me when you're driving this thing, you're insane," I said as I climbed in to the roomy passenger seat.

Just as expected, the moment Edward put the sleek hunk of shiny black metal into gear, all eyes gravitated in our direction. There were even a few dropped jaws, Jessica's among them. I slumped in my seat. "Oh my god, this is humiliating," I grumbled, hiding my face in my hands.

"You love it," he teased as we sped in the direction of my house.

Minutes later, we were pulling into my driveway. Edward kissed my cheek and exited the car. Instantly my door was opened.

"Come on," he said, tugging me out of the car, "your dad's inside waiting for you."

"He is?"

"He's got the afternoon off."

I turned to face Edward when he stopped just short of the entrance to the house. "Aren't you coming in?"

He shook his head. "Your dad is starting to get suspicious of how much time we're spending together. We don't want to draw any more attention than we need to."

I burst out laughing at that. "Are you kidding me, Edward? Today all we did was draw attention."

"Your father is different, Bella. It's one thing in high school, where people are going to talk anyway… this is real. Your dad isn't some passing phase in your life that will be forgotten in a few years."

"Fine," I groaned, though I didn't really see the difference. It was all my reality. If we were going to go balls out at school, home life wasn't all that different. Edward and his weird unspoken rules.

He kissed the top of my head. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

I eyed him suspiciously. "Last time you said that, you enrolled in ninety percent of my classes."

"Nothing like that this time, I promise. I'll meet you later? I have some things with the Cullens that I need to deal with. I won't be long. Check your bookshelf."

I trudged up to my room, immediately seeking out my bookshelf. Neatly ordered on it were all the rare editions Edward's mother had owned. In alphabetical order, of course.

I reached out, hesitantly grabbing the nearest one, cursing when a slip of paper fell out of it. Trust me to break the book just by touching it.

I picked up the fallen sheet, realizing it was a note and not a torn page. In Edward's neat script, it said: _I miss the meadow. Meet me there at five?_


	24. Delight

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing. _

_**Chapter: **__Twenty-four; Delight_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_**AN:**__ Just within two weeks this time. Not half bad. Not betaed this time, because betas get busy and have things to do, too, but hopefully there's nothing too glaringly wrong. She still read it and gave it her thumbs up, so that's got to be good, right?_

_Thanks to those who continue to stand by and those who offer commentary, you make me happy._

**xx**

I waited until I heard the low resonance of Charlie's voice greeting Bella before reversing out the Swan driveway. She would be safe with her father for a little over an hour while I fulfilled Alice's unspoken but definitely not unheard request.

She certainly seemed to enjoy using our proximity and our respective gifts to facilitate silent communication. At every available opportunity, she was pushing her thoughts in my head, sharing coded messages, just like a little kid who had discovered pig latin and took great pleasure in using it whenever possible.

I had to admit our version of pig latin really stepped up the game. Pig latin was pathetic in its transparency. Nothing Alice or I had to say would ever be known to any but the two of us, unless we were inclined to share.

It was a new experience for me, to be able to share a part of my gift with someone, rather than use it solely to take. It was odd, being able to use it to communicate; to have someone understand my unspoken sentences, as I did theirs.

I kind of liked it.

As unhappy as I had been to re-encounter Alice after harbouring an eight-decade-long grudge, she was really starting to grow on me. I might have even said I was fond of her. Though I'd never tell her that. Though, come to think of it, the little imp probably already knew.

I watched Bella's house disappear from view warily. I'd done a quick inventory of sight and smell when I had walked her to her door and found nothing out of the ordinary to lead me to believe that Bella would be unsafe for the short time period I would be gone but irrational worry was a violent beast to calm.

I tried to content myself with the knowledge that, as far as I knew, I was aware of and on good terms with every vampire currently within any proximity to Forks. Which, currently, just so happened to be more than I could count on both hands. I wondered what the poor people of Forks had done to warrant such an invasion, besides frequently endure horribly gloomy weather.

Since the vampire wars had calmed, in excess of ten vampires inhabiting one place simultaneously was unheard of, let alone in a town as tiny as Forks. Volterra was the sole exception. No doubt had the Volturi been aware, such a gathering would be cause for alarm. On our front as much as theirs. I didn't particularly care to imagine the consequences should Aro gain awareness of my supposed gift. Or the beautiful human girl I'd chosen as a mate. Neither would be pleasant. I knew which I feared more.

For brief moments, gazing upon Bella, I would consider the possibility of changing her as an insurance policy for her protection, to save her from whatever fate the Volturi or any other creature stronger than her might inflict.

Invariably, reason would kick in and I'd remind myself that she was a person, with a mind – even if I couldn't access it – and she deserved a chance to make a choice on her own terms. She didn't deserve to have it taken away because I was too weak and selfish to even entertain even the slightest possibility of losing her.

She deserved the chance I'd never had to experience life beyond seventeen, to tie up her loose ends and give her human life closure. Even if that closure that was in the distant future. I'd wait as long as necessary.

I pushed down the clutch on the Vanquish harder than necessary, aware I was drawing nearer to the Cullen home, the point of no return. A strange sensation I was loathe to call trepidation, tickled somewhere in my upper chest.

Alice's final message of the day, delivered just before I'd met Bella in the parking lot, hadn't been in keeping with her characteristic gleeful tone. Serious Alice meant business.

The business this time around was another visitor to the Cullen home. Someone she'd been expecting this time, for days. It had taken him longer to arrive than anticipated, and once again, it was deemed essential I meet him.

I didn't particularly care for the fact I was being showboated around for the Cullens' extended family but Alice promised that wasn't the case.

She was insistent that, this time, it was important I be there, for Rosalie's sake. Cryptic though that statement was, she wouldn't say any more. For the first time all day, her mind was closed, protectively doubled-zippered against my intrusion, layers of thought blocking me from the only ones that mattered. Infuriating. Obnoxiously in my head all day, only to be impervious when it mattered.

Maybe I wasn't so fond of her after all…

And I definitely wasn't fond of Rosalie, so I wasn't sure why I was bothering to do anything that might benefit her, despite my promise to Alice that I'd try to talk to her. Try being the operative word. I wasn't holding out much hope for the success of that conversation.

The tires of the Vanquish slid smoothly across the evenly paved stone surface fronting the Cullen home.

I'd hardly been aware of my surroundings the entire drive, noises and signs and the single traffic light in town all fading into the distance, my mind easily able to comprehend the monotonous task of driving thirty miles over the speed limit, even on autopilot.

Only my growing nearness to the Cullen home had registered. I felt like a bomb attached to an ever-shortening fuse, wary of what was waiting for me at the end. Yet, I'd resisted peering into their minds to check.

Now sitting in my car, in their driveway, I wondered if that was wise.

It couldn't hurt to take a moment to scope out what I was walking into before heading inside. I knew they would have heard me arrive but I didn't care. I was grateful no one called any attention to my arrival or attempted to draw me inside.

Esme was smiling sweetly at an intimidatingly large vampire with dark, curly hair and the biggest dimples I'd ever seen. They almost rivaled the size of his overlarge biceps. His eyes were the gold, like the other Cullens, but not quite the same gold. Darker. More orange. Like a little red had been added into the mix.

I froze, the foreboding knot of trepidation clenching tighter, transforming itself into nervousness.

If the guy didn't like me, he could crush me with an arm behind his back. Fuck, he could crush any one of the vampires in that room. Or all of them. And I was supposed to be comfortable with this strange, potentially lethal vampire coexisting with Bella in Forks? This screamed danger just as much, or more, than James and Victoria did.

I buried my paranoia, focusing on what Carlisle was saying to the giant. They were interacting amicably, channeling Carlisle's compassion more than the brute's obvious strength. They were talking about something noteworthy he'd done in the fifties. Carlisle wasn't familiar with the story.

So they probably hadn't spoken in quite some time. Half a century or more, likely. He wasn't someone they knew well and interacted with frequently, as they did with Carmen and Eleazar.

Alice and Jasper were sitting nearby, listening politely, their hands loosely clasped, in an easy carefree stance. Neither seemed as ill at ease as I felt. Carmen and Eleazar were absent, probably gone hunting for the afternoon.

Only Rosalie, sitting at the piano bench across the room, mirrored my discomfort. Her glares at the brawny vampire currently the centre of attention rivaled the glacial stares she directed at me.

Occasionally he'd return the glances, peeking back in her direction, in a shy, tentative way, only to be met with a turned shoulder and feigned indifference. She was watching him too closely – close enough to know precisely when to turn away so as not to be caught staring – to be truly indifferent.

I clenched my teeth, unsure why I was playing the role of peeping tom and indulging my anxiety, when I could simply go in and introduce myself. The Cullens had proven they had no qualms pandering to my many questions. This stranger was friendly with them. Surely they wouldn't freely associate with someone who posed a threat to them. Or to me or Bella. Any answers they could provide would definitely be better than sitting outside like an idiot, weighed down with a maelstrom of unpleasant self-manufactured assumptions.

Before I could begin to doubt my own sanity for willingly stepping foot in the same room as someone clearly able to rip me to shreds, I let myself inside, knowing I'd find them in the sitting area adjacent to the kitchen.

_Finally_, Alice thought at me as I passed the threshold, _stew out there long enough? We thought we might have to come detach you from your leather seats. Esme was getting the scissors ready._

Immediately I was on the defensive. It wasn't like I could help it. It wasn't my fault the guy was massive. And terrifying.

_Emmett's not as scary as he looks. He's really sweet, actually. Come say hello._

I sauntered coolly into the seating area, all false bravado and swagger. I even kept my hands in my jean pockets, a sign of my fabricated nonchalance.

Alice immediately stood, flying to my side. She grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the new vampire with fair ease considering her size. "Edward, this is Emmett McCarty. Emmett, Edward Masen."

"Hello, Emmett," I greeted calmly, nodding at him in acknowledgement of the introduction.

He grinned at me, a happy, teeth-baring smile that was wholly disarming. Instantly I felt less threatened.

"Hey dude. Pleasure to make your acquaintance and all that shit. So… you're the mind reader, huh?" He nodded to Jasper and Alice. "Already been properly introduced to the psychic and the empath. Carlisle's been busy expanding, it seems."

_So this is the one that little Alice was talking about… He's a little skinnier than I expected._

I almost chuckled at his bluntness. "That would be me, I suppose." I paused a beat, adding sarcastically, "And you're a little less skinny than I expected."

He laughed out loud, a booming sound that was at the same time warm. "Right, you can hear me. I guess I was asking for that."

In the corner of the room Rosalie scoffed, her fingers jamming at the piano keys more roughly than necessary, several dissonant notes ringing out, marring the otherwise flawless piece she'd been playing.

_You're feeding his humongous ego, Edward. If it gets any bigger, his head is going to pop. Though… that might not be such a tragedy. The world could do without one more conceited, arrogant asshole._

My eyebrows nearly soared past my hairline in surprise. That was the first time Rosalie had ever addressed me by my name, granted it had been done silently. Her distaste for Emmett outweighed her hate for me. I wondered what _he'd_ done to piss her off.

"So…" Emmett stated casually, "Carlisle tells me you're a new convert to vegetarianism."

"He's been doing excellent," Esme interjected proudly. "He's been less hassle than any of us ever were."

"Nice job. Good to hear you're adjusting well," Emmett complimented. "It sits easier on your conscience, that's for damn sure."

I simply nodded, unwilling to share further details – especially the brown-eyed reason for my conversion – until I knew whether or not I trusted him. Kind smiles and friendly laughs were a drop in the bucket on the way to trustworthiness.

"It looks like you practice the same lifestyle," I said carefully. "Most the time." We both knew I was talking about his slightly off-kilter eye-colour. I met his eyes, wanting to see his reaction.

He looked away, ashamed. "On the way here, I stumbled upon a late night car crash. The victims were stranded and bleeding profusely. Instincts took over. I'm not proud of it." The gruesome images of the twisted wreckage and red spills sprung to his mind, too crisp and clear for me to doubt he was telling anything but the truth.

The explanation was more reasonable than I'd expected. I could hardly blame him for being attracted to a large quantity of spilled blood. He wasn't infallible any more than the rest of us. Human blood sang louder than animal blood and that's all there was to it. There would always be temptation. If the victims had already been bleeding profusely, it was unlikely anything could have been done for them.

"That's why my trip took longer than planned," he continued sheepishly. "Erasing a car accident is a pain in the ass. Took me a good while to bury the car and do a proper clean up."

I offered him a small conciliatory smile. "I don't know if I'm in any position to judge. Up until a week ago I wasn't acting all that much differently. Criminals instead of those left for dead… but is there that much of a difference?"

He shrugged his imposing shoulders. "I prefer to keep out of the semantics of it. The way I see it, a human is a human."

That was essentially the same motto I had adopted for myself since swearing off human blood. I was beginning to think that Emmett and I had more common ground than expected.

"Look, just know that I don't make a habit of it. It's no excuse, but I hadn't hunted in a while. I was eager to get here." He glanced at Rosalie for the briefest moment, so quickly that it was almost indiscernible that he'd moved. "They were in the wrong place at the wrong time. It wasn't my proudest moment and I'm fully aware of it, trust me."

Carlisle touched his arm. "Don't beat yourself up. None of us are perfect." Esme, ever ready to offer encouragement, seconded her husband's sentiment.

Emmett chuckled, nudging Carlisle back teasingly. "Except you, right, old man? Over three hundred years and not a tainted drop. Or has something changed in the last seventy years?" His thoughts drifted back to 1935, the last time he'd seen Carlisle.

So it had been seventy years since Emmett had been around the Cullens last. Whatever he'd done to Rosalie must have left a lasting impression for her anger to withstand seven decades.

"No." Carlisle smiled dryly. "Untainted as ever."

"Pleased to hear it. You wouldn't be you if you weren't too damn perfect to be real. How about you, Rosie? Still vying for sainthood?" His voice was light and friendly, just slightly teasing.

I knew immediately that the comment wasn't going to be taken as Emmett intended. Her head snapped up from the piano, her anger bubbling and seeping over the surface of her calm façade, her thoughts seething.

_Who the fuck does he think he is? It's been seventy _fucking years_ and he just thinks he can waltz back and make distasteful jokes… No. Don't. He's not worth your time. He probably wants you to react. Don't give in to him. Don't. Let. Him. Get. To. You. - Fuck it._

Her spoken statement was much more concise, but there was no hiding the loathsome tone.

"Fuck you, Emmett."

Angry at herself for giving into his attempt to draw a reaction, she punched a hole in the top of the piano. Grabbing it by its innards, she flung it with all her might at Emmett. He managed to catch it and prevent it from doing too much damage to his surroundings but couldn't save the piano itself from further destruction. The wood twisted and splintered harmlessly against his stone chest.

With one last glare, Rosalie flung open the nearest floor to ceiling window and jumped through it, before the shattered glass had even touched the ground. She was out of hearing range within seconds.

Emmett dropped the piano's skeleton at his feet, looking like he'd been punched in the gut. "Fuck."

If I didn't know better, I might have thought he was about to cry. He looked distraught enough. Now I really wanted to hear the story behind Emmett's prior acquaintanceship with the Cullens. Emmett and Rosalie obviously had some unpleasant history to inspire a reaction of that magnitude. Rosalie didn't like me but she had never reacted quite so violently, just meanly.

"I royally fucked that one up, didn't I?" Emmett sounded resigned, like a man on death row.

In his distress, his sentences were disjointed and incomplete, his thoughts not making it past his lips. "Shit, I know…" _I fucked up before._ "I didn't think…" _I could do any more damage._ "And now…" _I have_. "She's never going to forgive me."

"She's just angry, Emmett," Esme offered, hugging him consolingly, though he easily doubled her in size. "She's upset with your actions, not with you."

"Oh, I don't know…" Carlisle said, trying to infuse the moment with a little lightness. "I'd say she's quite upset with him."

Esme shot husband a withering stare. "Very helpful, Carl."

"Same difference, isn't it?" Emmett wondered despondently. "Either way she's pissed at me and it fucking sucks."

"Well," Alice chimed in, "it might have helped if you'd tried to apologize rather than make jokes at her expense. She'd rather you get on your knees than be a smartass."

Emmett frowned thoughtfully. A scenario of him kneeling in front of Rosalie, both of them naked, flooded into his mind. A twinge of happiness settled in to replace the morose feelings.

I winced.

Emmett looked to Alice hopefully. "It's a little early for that, don't you think? She won't even talk to me. But maybe if–"

"Ew. Not _on your knees_, you pervert," Alice rolled her eyes, slapping his chest. "She wants you at her mercy."

Emmett frowned petulantly. "I think I liked the first option better."

Jasper laughed, plopping onto the couch next to where Alice had retreated. She threw her legs over his lap.

"What you want doesn't matter, my man. If you want Rosalie to forgive you, you better do what she wants. Women are like this. They hold grudges. And Rosalie isn't just any woman. She's going to make you work for it. Trust me, it's going to take a lot more than a little tongue wagging – of any variety – to make things right."

Emmett grimaced, his fists clenching involuntarily. "I would be offended that you seem to think you know my woman so well, if it weren't for shorty over there being stuck on you like glue."

Alice tinkled out a giggle. "I suggest you not refer to Rosalie as 'your woman' in her presence. If you want to keep all your parts, that is," she suggested lightly.

"I hate to interject," I said cautiously, "But what exactly is going on? Emmett and Rosalie are mates? I thought you told me Rosalie was single."

I knew it wasn't possible, but I could have sworn Emmett looked a little red-faced. His eyes narrowed on me suspiciously and I sunk back, suddenly worried for my safety. I could outrun him, but only if I was out of his reach to begin with.

"Why exactly would whether _my_ Rosie," he glanced at Alice defiantly, "is single be of any interest to you? I have to say, man, I don't think you're her type."

Alice burst out into uproarious laughter, for no apparent reason. Her fits were catching and Jasper soon followed, and then Esme and Carlisle, until just Emmett and I were excluded from the hilarity.

"Okay, okay, enough. Is someone going to tell me what's so funny?" Emmett grumbled, his meaty fists clenched. "Edtard and I want in on the joke."

"Nothing, nothing," Alice said, once she managed to get herself under control. "It just struck me how ridiculous all of this is. Emmett is jealous that the woman he rejected seventy years ago might have found herself a new love interest now that he's finally returned to sweep her off her feet. But no, not happening, because Rosalie hates both Emmett and Edward's guts. For entirely different reasons, of course, though neither knows what the other has done to upset her. Meanwhile, despite Emmett thinking otherwise, Edward isn't interested in Rosalie at all because he's off gallivanting with his human girlfriend. Oh, and let's not forget we're all vampires. Does that sound like some really bad gothic romance or what? Or at the very least a Shakespearean comedy of errors? All we're missing is a cross-dresser."

"I dunno," Emmett griped petulantly. "You look kinda like a boy with that hair…"

"Okay," I said flatly, overriding Emmett before Alice could retort. "Now that you're done laughing at our expense, would you mind flipping to the final act and unraveling all the errors in this comedy?"

"Wait, a second." Emmett paused, turning to me with undisguised awe. "Alice just said you're with a human. Been veggie a week, and you're already seducing humans? Fuck, that's straight up, dude."

I glared at Alice for spilling the beans.

_Sorry, Edward. It was an accident. Though, if it makes you feel any better, Emmett and Bella are going to get along great. She's going to think he's funny._

Great. Just what we all needed… more funny.

In spite of Alice's confidence, I still wasn't sure I was ready for Emmett to meet Bella. He had admitted to drinking human blood in the past few days, after all. Sure, he didn't seem like a horrible guy, jealousy issues, bad jokes and equally bad timing aside, but I hardly knew him. Not enough to trust him with Bella's life.

"I'm not seducing anyone. Isabella is my mate. Mine. If you even think about touching her–"

"Whoa, relax." Emmett held up his hands in a conciliatory gesture. "I was just surprised. I mean, a human mate? That's just, wow. You're not quite what you seem, are you?"

"I'll take that as a compliment," I snapped.

"Please do," he nodded agreeably. In the back of his mind, images of me in bed with faceless human girls swirled around, coloured with notes of curiosity.

"I can hear you," I gritted out, not wanting to see myself with anyone but Bella.

"Sorry. I guess you're pretty much the only guy on the planet who can legitimately make a threat beginning with 'if you even think about…' and actually mean it, huh?"

I took a deep breath, willing myself not to roll my eyes or otherwise display my growing impatience with the conversation. Instead, I forced myself to apologize. "I'm sorry but I don't tolerate disrespect when it comes to Bella."

"It's okay, I get it. Protective instincts, the need to protect your mate. I apologize for overstepping any bounds. I didn't mean any harm."

"Was that so hard?" Alice butted in. "Try that with Rosalie next time. Saying sorry goes a long way, you know."

"So now you know about my mate," I bridged, "is someone going to explain to me what is going on between Emmett and Rosalie?"

Emmett's downtrodden mood returned with a vengeance, a scowl replacing the mirthful smirk. "Long story short, seventy years ago I was a fucking idiot and Rosalie won't give me the time of day because of it."

"What Emmett is trying to say is that–"

Emmett held up his hand. "Hold it there, shorty. I think I need to tell this story, if you don't mind?" Alice nodded warmly. "In 1935, the last year of my human life, I went camping. Ran into a spot of trouble with a bear. Rosalie found my body. She saved my life by bringing me to Carlisle."

Carlisle was listening silently, following along the story with his memories of the event. It was strange, being able to see the visuals to go along with Emmett's story of the end to his human life from a crisp vampire perspective.

Emmett cleared his throat. "At first, it was kind of assumed we'd be mates. She picked me for a reason and all, right? Except, as I've said, I was an idiot. A typical newborn, you know? Didn't care about anything but quenching the thirst. When they tried to tell me I could live without human blood, I laughed them off, said I didn't care. They tried to set me right – it was just Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie then – but after a few weeks, I'd settled down enough that I could leave without causing more damage than I could hide. The three of them weren't strong enough to stop me, though I'm not sure if they would have tried if they had been. I left without turning back. All for the blood, man. Had a perfect girl and I gave it up because I was too weak to see beyond the next meal."

Everyone listened quietly, even the usually chatty Alice. Esme looked more upset than I'd seen her, her thoughts shifting fluidly from being concerned about her daughter's well-being, wherever she was, to hoping for her happiness and a positive ending to her relationship with Emmett. Jasper threw a soothing cloak of calm around her.

"Anyway," Emmett continued, "As the newborn year petered out, I regained some sense of self and humility. Came to realize what I'd given up so carelessly. Set myself straight, fixed my diet the way it ought to have been from the start… but I was still too embarrassed to go back and own up to my mistakes. I didn't think Rosalie would forgive me. Or worse, thought maybe she'd found someone else. Wandered around aimlessly, existing like any of us do for the next twenty years. Thought about coming back plenty. I would decide I should, then change my mind right back. In the mid fifties, Shorty contacted me after one such afternoon of non-decisions and told me to hold off. She'd found Carlisle by then. Said she'd call when it was the right time. If there ever was a right time. She kept me in the loop over the years, while I waited. Last week I got _the_ call. I waited fifty years for that phone call."

He smiled at me, embarrassed, shame tinting his every thought and action.

Seventy years, completely alone in the world, lamenting over lost love and his one monumental mistake? When I thought of how easily I could have made one wrong move and lost Bella… I found I had a new respect for Emmett.

"What's changed?" I wondered, glancing at Alice. "After so many years, why now?"

I had my suspicions that it had something to do with me. It was awfully coincidental he happened to show up the same week I did after seven decades. Bits of conversation and thought I'd pieced together made me fairly certain I was involved somehow. I just didn't know in what capacity.

Emmett shrugged. "Beats me. You'll have to talk to Miss Cleo over there. When she said jump, I asked how high. I trust her. She's been nothing but a good friend to me over the years, though we'd not met in person until today."

I turned to Alice who smiled her sickly sweet, all-knowing-but-I'm-not-telling-you smile. "If I told you what you want to know, things wouldn't work out the way they need to. Let's leave it at that."

I hated being left in the dark.

I definitely was not fond of Alice. Anymore.

xx

I spread out one of the several blankets I'd brought, sitting it atop the battery-operated heating blanket I'd already laid out in the grass. It had cost a small fortune but I'd forked over the money. Bella wouldn't be getting sick in the chilly October air on my watch.

I hoped she'd found the note I'd tucked away in my mother's book. If not, I'd have to go retrieve her soon, if we wanted to catch the sunset.

That thought was erased by the distant sound of Bella's light footfalls on the worn path leading to the meadow. She was already on her way.

Hastily, I completed my set up and rushed to greet her, eager to see her, though it had only been little more than an hour since I'd seen her last. The hour and a half away from her, she'd been a constant thought in the back of my mind. Her frail human state made me worry more than I supposed it was normal to worry about a mate.

As soon as I'd been able, I'd made my excuses, and left the Cullens to entertain Emmett, fully intending to reach the meadow before Bella. I wanted make the most of the afternoon and relive our after-school ritual, before it got too cold or dark too early for us to continue the tradition.

Bella leaned into my side, tucking herself under my arm when she spotted me.

"Miss me?" She beamed at me prettily. I couldn't help but return her happiness.

"Ridiculously so," I admitted, kissing her hair, breathing in her painfully sweet scent, a scent that promised comfort and reassurance despite its best efforts to sway me to less desirable thoughts.

"What did Alice want?"

"What makes you think Alice wanted anything?" I dodged the question. There was no reason for Bella to know about Emmett yet. She would probably insist on meeting him, her safety be damned. I had enough stress worrying about her as it was.

She raised an eyebrow at me, seeing right through the avoidance tactic.

"She just wanted to talk to me about something. Nothing important," I lied, a slight twinge of guilt prodding at me.

Bella rolled her eyes but didn't question me further. The disbelieving expression instantly melted when we reached the edge of the clearing and she spotted the nest of blankets I'd placed in the centre of the meadow.

She grinned for a brief moment, before narrowing suspicious eyes on me. "What are you planning?"

I turned her to face me, pulling her into my chest, before we could step out from underneath the shadows thrown by the trees and into the sunny rays littering meadow.

"It's cold out. I didn't want you to get cold. And I thought, since it's shaping up to be a nice afternoon, and the sun is supposed to set shortly, perhaps we could watch the sunset together. If you'd like."

She nodded eagerly. "That sounds perfect." She squeezed me. "Thanks for doing this. It was really sweet. But do we really need that many blankets?"

"There are more than five hundred strains of the common cold, Bella. I won't have you catching any of them."

"Crazy, overprotective vampire," she grumbled. "Getting sick is a normal part of human life."

"I want you to have a better than average human life."

She kissed my cheek. "It already is. Now come on," she untangled herself, grabbing my hand. "I'm getting kind of cold standing here in the shade." I held fast, refusing to budge an inch.

She turned to me questioningly.

"There's something I… something I need to show you, first," I admitted awkwardly. "You know the first day you saw me, how you said you thought I sparkled? When I fell out of the tree?"

She nodded, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion. "Yeah."

"Well, there's some truth to that. I don't sparkle, exactly. I refract light. Sunlight."

Recognition dawned in her eyes. "Sunlight," she said softly, her tone full of wonder. "I assumed, since it hasn't happened again that it was a figment of my imagination and I was projecting my awe onto you. I can't believe it was real."

"It was real," I confirmed. "Unfortunately."

"It's not unfortunate," she countered, tugging my hand impatiently, pointlessly trying to drag me into the light. "You have no idea how mesmerized I was by you that day. Show me?"

I never could resist that pleading voice. Nervously, I allowed my body to submit to her tugging. I hoped it was what she expected. If she held that day's memories dear, there was always the chance an up close and personal view would diminish the shining awe she remembered.

Her already radiant expression brightened further. "Just like I remembered," she murmured, reaching up to trace my jaw line with a finger. She watched the dappled light thrown from my skin play off hers. I held completely still, letting her examine me to her heart's content.

"I can't believe it was real. When you didn't say anything I figured it was all in my head. Why do you refract sunlight, but not regular light?"

"I'm a carbon-based life form, just as you are, except I'm almost pure carbon. Diamond, in layman's terms. Most impurities are converted or pushed to the surface of our skin during the change. They contain pigments that allow us to retain a somewhat human appearance. Those impurities also act as a barrier to most light; they're why we don't sparkle under artificial or diffused light. No one is quite sure why direct sunlight is able to penetrate to the pure diamond underneath. If I chopped off my arm, I'd look much more like a traditional diamond internally. It's been hypothesized that some of the world's largest, most recognizable diamonds are actually remnants of vampires whose other parts have long since been destroyed. If someone set fire to them, of course, they'd prove their difference."

Bella blinked and then giggled. "So…" she drawled, "what you're saying is that, basically, you're a really big, dirty diamond. I'm dating a human-sized diamond."

I rolled my eyes. "There's more, physically, to us than that. Our venom, our minds and our digestive systems, for instance. See, this is why I didn't want to tell you. It sounds and looks ridiculous."

"It does not look ridiculous," she countered, positioning herself on the blanket so she could look up at my face. The novelty of my sunlit appearance had yet to wear off. "It's unusual, maybe. But beautiful." She touched my face again. "How can your skin feel so soft, yet be so unyielding at the same time?"

I sat cross-legged next to her, encouraging her to lay down front of me and put her head in my lap. When she complied, I tucked the blankets around her prone form. "No one knows. It's not feasible to properly dissect a vampire. No one will sit for it and subduing one against his or her will typically requires a body burned beyond recognition. I'm destined to be a physiological enigma for the rest of eternity."

"You're more an enigma than most, I think," she teased. "A total mystery."

I shrugged, not denying it. I wasn't the most easy to read.

"My mystery."

"Yours," I agreed.

We were both quiet for a few minutes, watching the transformation of the sky.

"When you were first changed… you'd been in the hospital on your deathbed for weeks, right?" Bella asked, the question cutting through our comfortable silence. "So you probably had a beard? Did it not make it through the change? Like, did it disappear? Or did you have to shave?" She seemed genuinely curious.

I laughed. "You want to know the weirdest things. No one has ever asked me that before. But, yes, when I was sick I grew a beard, which had to be shaved after my change. It was quite like what I imagine shaving a rock would be like. Not very pleasant at all."

Bella tipped her head back so she was looking at me upside-down. "Good. I think you'd look weird with a beard. Gorgeous still, probably, but weird. Not Edward."

I combed my fingers through her long dark hair soothingly. "I'm glad to hear that you approve. I aim to please."

She reached up, her fingers winding around the back of my neck, guiding my face down to her level. Recognizing her intent, I lowered my lips to hers, kissing her gently. The angle was a little awkward, but I wasn't going to let something as stupid as geometry stop me.

Her lips twitched, curving upward against mine. "That went much better than last time I tried to kiss you, here."

"I'm still sorry about that," I apologized solemnly, stroking one of her eyebrows tenderly, wishing I could erase the rejection I knew she had felt. "I never wanted to give you a reason to think you were anything less than the centre of my universe. Even then I worshipped you."

She swallowed hard, her eyes held mine looking suspiciously misty. "Shh," I soothed. "Please don't cry."

She sat up abruptly, curling herself into my lap and pulling my arms around her. "I'm not. Not really. I'm just really, really happy. You make me happy."

I kissed her hair and hugged her tighter, ever mindful of her delicate form. For one of very few times in my life, I found myself without anything to say.

"I love you."

The words were whispered into my chest, muffled slightly by my button-down. I wouldn't have believed my hearing if the moment hadn't been embedded in my memory for the rest of eternity. I knew immediately it would be a memory I would look back on often.

If I thought I was speechless before, now I was hardly able to remember what words were.

Gently, I pried Bella away from my chest, just enough, needing to see her face to see that she meant her quietly uttered words. One look at her open, sincere face, her eyes brimming with emotion was all it took for my words to return.

"I love you, too."

Her eyes, which had strayed downward, snapped back to mine. "Really?"

"Isn't it obvious?" I stroked her smooth cheek. "I just told you you're the centre of my universe. I meant it. I'm yours, wholly and completely."

She smiled an open, genuine smile, one I liked to think was mine alone. "Say it again? Please?"

"I love you," I told her, "So much."

She beamed wider, and without a moment's warning, launched herself at me. Despite her minimal weight, I somehow found myself laying back on the blanket, her bent astride me, her lips on my face. When they found their way to mine it was an automatic response to return her kiss.

"Bella…"

"Edward…" Her lips hovered over mine. Just enough to let the words pass.

I could hear the frustration in her tone but I pushed forward anyway. "I just wanted to ask… if maybe you'd let me take you on a date? Properly?" I hated the hesitation in my voice.

Though we'd just declared our love for one another, such a question felt like uncharted territory. As close as we'd become, we'd just sort of fallen together naturally. I'd never asked her out before.

"Of course I would. You know you don't have to ask."

I shrugged, masking my immense relief. "I wasn't sure if you would be interested. You're not like most girls."

She chuckled, running a hand through my hair playfully. "Of course I'm interested. I'd do anything you asked of me. Even go on a date."

"Nothing extravagant," I promised. "Maybe spend an evening in Seattle? Dinner and a show? You do own a dress, right?" I plucked at her jeans, a constant in her wardrobe since I'd known her.

"Wait a second," she teased, pushing my hand away from her thigh. "You never said anything about a dress before…"

"I could always ask Alice to lend a hand dressing you up if you don't think your wardrobe meets requirements…"

Bella's eyes widened at the threat. "I own a dress."

"Good," I breathed into her neck. "I can't wait to see you dressed up all pretty, just for me."

Bella squirmed. "You're a huge tease, you know." She sighed deeply, rolling onto her back and laying next to me. She stared up at the sky which had darkened significantly since we'd first arrived; the sun was well into its decent. Pinks and oranges shot up from the horizon, the light fading from my skin. "I thought for a moment, after we… nevermind."

I hovered over her, propped up on an elbow. "Bella, don't shut me out, now. Tell me, what did you think?"

Her voice was small, her gaze anywhere but on me. "Just that, maybe, now that we know we love one another, that maybe you were thinking about, um, considering…"

I frowned, completely unaware of where she was going with this. If she was unhappy in any way, I wanted to be able to fix it. I couldn't do that if she clammed up.

"Considering?" I prompted.

"Sex." She blurted the word quietly, embarrassed.

"Bella…"

"Look, if you're just going to say no, again, don't. Please."

I held her face, positioning mine above, so she was forced to look at me. I wanted her to hear exactly what I had to say and see my sincerity. "I want to. Believe me, I want that with you. So much. But I'm terrified. I could hurt you so easily. I'm already testing my limits by kissing you. You have no idea how tempting you smell to me."

She lifted one of her hands to her face, laying it over mine. "How will you ever get past that if you never push yourself any further? You won't even touch me."

I fought back words about how selfish it would be for me to use her body for my pleasure, when there were so many other ways to show her I loved her that didn't put her in danger, knowing they weren't words she wanted to hear. They were too old-fashioned, prudish, to make sense to her twenty-first century mentality.

She guided one of my hands down her body, laying it on her chest. I could feel the lace of her bra beneath her shirt, and the soft thump of her heartbeat beneath that. "Touch me?"

I swallowed hard, trying and failing to come up with a reason to say no.

Gently, experimentally, I squeezed the soft flesh. Bella breathed in deeply, her bottom lip finding its way between her teeth. She squeezed the back of my hand encouragingly, and dropped her arm to her side.

"Promise me, you'll tell me if anything I do is uncomfortable." She nodded silently. I shook my head, wanting to hear her say the words. "Promise me, Bella."

"I promise," she mumbled obediently.

Appeased, I pulled the blankets up around us and settled into a more comfortable position on my side next to her.

Carefully snaking my hand across her body, giving her a chance to stop me if she desired, I returned to gently stroking her breast through the layers of material, reveling in the feel of her reaction to me. Even through the fabric, I could feel how sensitive she had become. Her bra tented where her nipples had hardened beneath it.

She groaned lightly, her body arcing up towards my hand. Impatiently, she caught my eye and slowly, purposefully, lowered my hand beneath the hem of her shirt. "More."

I felt confident that she was still safe, so I trailed my hand up the silky skin of her midriff, pausing only to trace delicate patterns around her bellybutton. When my hand once again reached her breast, this time with one less layer between us, she hummed in appreciation.

"See?" she murmured breathily, smugness managing to make it into her tone anyway. "I'm still alive. Don't. Stop." Though the last two words were uttered in the same breathy tone, there was an underlying threat in them. If I stopped now there would be hell to pay.

I kissed her forehead. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. Just keep going." She squirmed, encouraging my stilled hand to continue its explorative journey. Boldly, I flicked open the front clasp on the bra I remembered her donning that morning. Since she'd dressed in front of me at the Cullens', she'd taken to making it a daily habit. Now, I was pretty sure I knew why.

Her sharp, but pleasurable intake of breath when I cupped the bare skin, gently thumbing her nipple was all the confirmation I needed to know I'd made the right choice.

Satisfied that Bella was content for the moment, I allowed myself a moment to truly enjoy her, to soak up the feeling of holding her soft skin in the palm of my hand. She wasn't particularly large, nor particularly small. Just enough to hold comfortably in my hand. As always, she was perfectly made for me. I told her as much, pausing to kiss her earlobe and then the sensitive skin down the column of her neck..

"I'm not too cold?"

She shook her head adamantly, her flushed cheeks confirming she was feeling anything but cold. "No. Feels good."

I smiled into her neck, enjoying being the cause of her apparent incoherency.

If I'd known I could wield this kind of power through simple caresses, I might have tried it sooner.

Quickly, I gained confidence manipulating the sensitive flesh. Though it wasn't something I'd ever done before, I'd seen it done countless times in the minds of others. Even if I hadn't, I was sure part of it was instinctive. I wanted nothing more than to make her make those soft, enticing sounds. My fingers quickly memorized the actions that pulled them from her.

"Still okay?" I tested, wanting to double check. She seemed to be enjoying herself but I didn't plan to wait until it was too late before finding out.

"More than okay," she beamed at me beatifically. "Thank you... for trying."

I kissed her deeply. "It's my pleasure," I mumbled against her lips.

She wrapped a hand into my hair, kissing me voraciously. "No, it's definitely mine." When we pulled away minutes later, her eyes met mine briefly, her brow set seductively and in a slight… challenge? Before I had time to process, she was sitting up, her shirt and bra sprawled on the grass next to us.

"Bella," I hissed, pushing her back beneath the blanket and protectively covering her body with mine. It was one thing to feel her up under the cover of clothing and blankets, another for her bare body to be on display for the world to see.

Despite the brief moment I'd borne witness to her bare skin, it was emblazoned on my memory. I closed my eyes, willing away my intense arousal, telling myself this was about her, about easing her frustration. If I allowed myself to think about the ache that had settled in my lower half, I wasn't sure I'd be able to control myself.

She glanced at me petulantly from beneath the blanket I'd hidden her. "We're alone. Who's going to see? The birds?"

I shrugged, not having a valid answer to that. While she had a point, I abhorred the thought of anyone beside me seeing her so bare. I was coming to learn that resisting unnecessary jealously was not a strong suit of mine.

"If anyone comes, you'll know."

I smirked. "I hope so."

She flushed. "You know that's not what I meant."

"No? Unfortunate." I couldn't help but teasing her. She always rose to the bait. Predictably, her cheeks reddened.

She rolled her eyes, doubtfully, seeing right through me this time. "Yeah, right. Like you'd go that far. I practically had to beg you to touch me. Do you know how many guys would kill to touch their girlfriend's boob, Edward?"

I chuckled. "Trust me, I'm aware the number is rather large. I see into teenage boys' minds on a daily basis. I'm plenty aware."

She scrunched her nose. "So what makes you such an anomaly?"

"I'm not," I whispered into her skin, wrapping my arms around her. "I enjoy a boob as much as the next guy. Provided it's attached to you."

Bella giggled. "I can't believe you just said 'boob.' Coming from you, it sounds weird."

I smiled at her amusement. She did know me rather well. "It wouldn't be my word of choice. It is rather crude."

"Are you going to stop talking about it and show me?" she asked, pulling out from under my arm and propping herself on her elbows. She tugged the blankets down, just enough. I stared unabashedly at the pale, creamy flesh she'd exposed.

I nodded robotically, finally giving in to the urge to taste her, though not quite the way the burn in my throat demanded. Slowly, so she could react, if she chose, I lowered my mouth to her chest, keeping my eyes on hers. I received nothing but an encouraging stare.

Not knowing where to start my exploration, I kissed her puckered skin gently. It was soft and pliant under my lips. She hummed. Good.

I gave an investigational lick. She tasted nearly as good as she smelled, not that I'd had doubts. She groaned softly. Still good.

Taking the final leap, I sucked gently. She moaned out loud. I swallowed hard, willing my control to keep itself in its too-small cage.

"Mmm. Do that again," she pleaded. I couldn't say no. I repeated the action to an identical response. Sufficiently persuaded that I wasn't doing any damage, I gave in to my urge to explore her with my mouth, my fingers playing lower, on the soft skin of her stomach.

The more I offered, the louder her response. If we kept on at this rate, it wouldn't be too long until the rest of Forks was alerted to precisely what was going on.

"Jesus, Bella," I choked out, my voice hoarse, aroused beyond belief. She said nothing, just smiled blissfully at me. My body reacted as intensely to her happiness as all the erotic sounds preceding it.

After a few minutes of kissing and fondling, she began to squirm and shift against me, her body seeking a release I wasn't providing. I knew she had to be uncomfortable. More so than ever before. I could smell her arousal lingering in the air, permeating even the layers of clothes she was wearing. It wouldn't be fair to leave her this way, uncomfortably aching for release.

Mentally bracing myself to take the necessary step, I spooned myself against her back and unbuttoned her jeans. She hummed and settled against me. Kissing her gently, I carefully slid my hand beneath rough denim and into soft cotton, stilling once I did to give her a chance to adjust to the new development.

Bella gasped loudly at the intrusion. In spite of her earlier forwardness, I was fairly certain she'd never anticipated this outcome. "Edward?" she rasped uncertainly, her eyes wild and hungry. She was questioning my ability to proceed, not pushing me away.

I kissed the back of her neck. "I want to," I promised.

And I really did. Right now, I could think of nothing I wanted more than to make her come undone and know I was the cause.

Assurance in hand, Bella relaxed, melting into me, her hips unconsciously flexing into my hand. I kept my touches feathery, not wanting to hurt her by being careless with my strength.

I brushed past wiry hair, to the soft wetness beneath. Though I couldn't see what I was doing, my fingers instinctively knew what to do, quickly finding a comfortable rhythm, stroking softly along her sensitive flesh. Every soft exhale and moan of appreciation was a compass, helping me to gauge what she needed from me and when.

"Feels… so good," she moaned.

Pride rushed me, plowing through my body unforgivingly, tangling with arousal at every corner.

It felt as though only a few moments had passed when I felt her body stiffen in my arms, all her limbs clenching tightly, then releasing as her hips bucked against my hand. I took in her expression greedily, memorizing the way her eyes clenched shut and her mouth parted slightly, mumblings of my name spilling incoherently.

Gently extricating my fingers from the now wrought, ultra-sensitive flesh, I allowed Bella to float in her post-orgasmic high.

Once she had settled back to earth, she twisted in my arms to face me, kissing my face several times. "Thank you, Edward." Her grin was the largest I'd ever seen it.

I chuckled, brushing a few strands of sweaty hair from her forehead. "What are you thanking me for? That was the best experience of my existence."

"Mine, too," she assured, cuddling into my side and pulling the blankets tighter around us. "By a landslide." When her body came into contact with the length of mine, she glanced down shyly, no doubt feeling my reaction to her. She rested her hand on my hip, her pinky tracing the button on my pants. "Is there something I can do? To make you feel good?"

I shook my head, kissing her forehead, tasting sweat. "No. This was about you. I knew you'd been feeling strung tight lately but I continued to tease you, stubbornly refusing to follow through. It wasn't fair of me to do that to you. Consider this my apology."

She kissed my jaw. "You don't have to punish yourself, Edward. I want to."

I offered her a reassuring look. "I know. I think I've pushed myself enough today. You have no idea how enticing you really are. If I tried to push my limits any further today, I'm not sure I could keep myself in check." I cupped her cheek. "Your safety comes first."

"Okay," she agreed, her expression softening, "But this is not the end of this conversation." Stubborn as always.

This time, I couldn't find the will to disagree. I was really looking forward to the next challenge.


	25. Diversion

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing. _

_**Chapter: **__Twenty-five; Diversion_

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN:**__ Some people have asked me, if I'm still accepting votes on the hybrid baby issue. The answer is yes. Until this story comes to the fork in the road, where it would have to go definitively one way or the other (at the very minimum, no earlier than Bella and Edward's first time, likely several chapters after that), I'll continue the tally, which, as of right now, is dead tied – no kidding. So every vote does count. If you're inclined one way or another, you never know, your vote might be the one that pushes it over the edge._

_I am currently going through some real life changes on the job front, so a quick warning that my update schedule might be erratic than usual. My goal is to keep up with the two week-ish schedule, but we'll see how that goes._

_Thank you to everyone who has continued to stick by this story. As always, reviews make me happy, and consequentially, inclined to write more – no I'm not above bribery ;)_

xx

I glared down at my Calculus textbook in a pathetic attempt to scrounge up the will to complete the math equations Mr. Varner had assigned. Maybe if I stared hard enough the answers would leap off the page and into my head.

I suspected the sudden absence of my work ethic had something to do with the beautiful boy splayed across my bed next to me. He made it very hard to concentrate on doing homework.

Edward had finished his work twenty minutes ago. He'd completed the task in a matter of seconds, the numbers immediately snapping into place in his stupid perfect vampire head. Faster than I could make sense of it, his answers were neatly scrawled on a stack of papers and tucked to the side.

After flying through the assignment and leaving mere mortal me in the dust, he'd taken it upon himself to make it impossible for me to complete my identical assignment.

"Are you done yet, Bella?" he murmured, smiling at me lazily, a distracting hand making its way into my hair, twirling one of the long strands around his finger.

His hands weren't the only things wandering distractingly. His lips managed to get in on the action, too, finding whatever exposed skin they could. He had admitted he loved kissing my bare skin; it offered a whisper of the taste of my blood, which remained as intoxicating to him as ever.

"No," I grumbled, half-heartedly swatting him away. He knew very well I hadn't written a single thing on the page since he'd last asked two minutes ago.

"I could do it for you, if you'd like," he offered innocently. "It would be much quicker."

I shook my head forcefully. There was no way I was falling into that trap when I'd managed to resist his purposefully sad-faced looks for the last twenty minutes.

"We already talked about this. If I expect to get into a university on the east coast, I'm going to have to prove I've earned my place. I'll get in on my own merit, not because I'm with you."

Predictably, he pouted. "Fine." He rolled onto his back so he was no longer touching me. Immediately, I missed the contact. "Though, I wish you would let me help. Even if just financially. I don't want to help because I think you can't do it yourself. I know you're more than capable. I want to make the experience as painless for you as possible."

I scooted closer so we were touching again, my assignment abandoned on the other end of my bed. We laid side by side, staring up my bare white ceiling.

"That's sweet. But I guess I feel like I have something to prove to myself as much as everyone else. You already know how amazing you are. Hell, everyone at school has been raving about how special you are all week. I need to know I'm capable of this, on my own, with or without you there to help."

He pursed his lips but his fingers laced themselves with mine, so I knew he wasn't upset.

"If you feel this is something you need to do, you know you have my support." He paused a beat. "Though it will be a lot easier if you wait until you are a vampire to seriously attempt to learn these things. You'll just have to relearn them all, anyway."

My heart thudded erratically at his casual mention of me becoming a vampire. Though we'd talked about the possibility before, it was always discussed as a possible option for the very distant future. The surety in his voice was an unspoken promise that one day, perhaps sooner rather than later, it would happen. It was a reminder that he wanted me forever.

Edward smirked at me knowingly. Before he could offer a retort, my phone rang from somewhere in the vicinity of my paper and textbook covered desk.

"Will you answer that?" I asked casually, diligently returning to my abandoned workbook. "It's probably Angela. Can you tell her I'm busy?"

I was fairly sure it was Jessica calling, not Angela. Since she and Mike had established they were going to the latest school dance together – which I'd managed to convince Edward we would not be attending – she'd taken to calling me with ridiculous regularity to ask for my opinion on a plethora of things I had no opinion about. Really, I think she just liked someone to listen to her while she talked.

If this played out the way I wanted, I would be killing two birds with one stone. Once Jessica learned she was talking to Edward – who was too polite to hang up on anyone, even Jessica – she would manage to keep him on the phone long enough for me to finish my homework.

I wouldn't have to deal with Jessica's rambling one-sided debate about the merits of different thirty colours of eyeliner and which best matched her as of yet unpicked dress and I could get few minutes freedom from Edward's distracting antics and complete my assignment in peace. My evil genius was boundless.

Edward flipped open my phone, greeting Jessica with flawless courtesy. I could just picture her impressed face on the other end of the phone.

Edward neutral expression turned sly at the response he received. He peered at me innocuously, the heart-melting butterscotch holding decidedly surreptitious intent. I narrowed my eyes at him. That look never meant anything good.

"Mrs. Dwyer? This is Edward Masen."

Oh crap.

Evil genius, not so genius after all.

So much for providing Edward with a distraction so I could get some work done. The only person getting distracted at the moment was me.

I scrambled off the bed, moving faster than I could ever recall having done in my life. Edward didn't move from where he was leaning against my desk, but managed to hold me off easily, wrapping one stone arm around me, pinning my arms to my sides. He kissed my forehead consolingly as if that could make up for the torture he was about to inflict. I begged with my eyes to no avail.

I could hear my mom's surprised voice, through distant, warbled sounds pouring through the phone.

"Edward? It's lovely to hear you, sweetie! I have to admit, I was starting to wonder if Bella was making you up to keep me quiet. She always gets so defensive talking about the boys in her life."

Edward tensed at the mention of other boys. Silly, irrational vampire knew no one else held a candle to him.

"She wasn't making up anything. I'm real," he squeezed me, reassuring himself as much my mother.

I pouted at him, silently begging him to let me go and give me my damn phone.

"I have so many questions… I don't know where to start. Bella is always so secretive. You'll spare a mother her curiosity about her only child, won't you, Edward?"

"Of course Mrs. Dwyer," Edward replied charmingly. I rolled my eyes, knowing my mother was about to be reeled in hook, line and sinker, just like everyone else. "A mother is entitled to gossip about her children. It's all but a right."

My mother chuckled warmly. "I like you, Edward. Call me Renee. Or perhaps Mom."

xx

"Bella, will you talk to me?" Edward whined, sitting down heavily on the edge of my bed, the well-worn springs jiggling me up and down.

"Still upset with you." I peeked out from the safety of my soundproof pillow. "I cannot believe you had a five minute discussion with my Mom about the benefits of different types of birth control. That is just so… weird. My mom, and you, my boyfriend, talking about sex. Do you have any idea how weird that is, Edward? Let me explain it to you…weird!"

So weird, I hadn't been able to listen to it all. While Edward and my mom had chatted like long lost friends, I'd buried myself in my bed, shoving my head under my pillow like a ten-year-old.

Even now, with the offending phone returned and tucked into the front pocket of my jeans, I was hearing echoes of the dreadful conversation. There was no way anyone but me was answering it from now on. And my mom was definitely getting her own ringtone.

Edward's brow creased in confusion. He truly didn't understand how atypical his interactions with my mother were. It might have been amusing if it wasn't so mortifying. I understood in his day, sex was a taboo subject and not something he had very much experience talking about, but he had to have heard enough teenaged thoughts to know that sex talk and parents didn't mix. Ever.

"I was being helpful," he offered, matter-of-fact. "Renee wanted to ensure your safety. I wanted to provide her with peace of mind. It seemed like a mutually beneficial conversation for all parties."

"Except for me," I countered. "Next time I see her, I won't be able to look her in the eye. She'll know my boyfriend is in favour of pairing condoms with the pill for maximum protection, how could I?"

Edward tugged me across the bed, so he could nestle me into the comfortable spot created by his crossed-legs. "I know you don't want to hear this, but I think you're blowing this out of proportion. She's thrilled you're happy. She wants to see to it that you remain that way. That's all."

"Then why do I feel like I want to die?" I moaned, tucking my still red face against his chest. The cold of his chest penetrated his shirt easily, refreshingly cool.

He grinned teasingly. "Because you have delicate sensibilities. I thought I was supposed to be the old-fashioned one. You're supposed to be the independent twenty-first century girl, empowered rather than intimidated by sex."

"Sorry. You're confusing me with someone named Carrie Bradshaw," I grumbled.

He stroked my hair. "Lighten up. I'm just saying that there's nothing for you to be embarrassed about. We're adults and contraception is something adults have to consider; though because of what I am, it's probably not quite as much a concern for us. Regardless, if you think about it, your mother is respecting that you've grown up by treating us like adults."

"How is it that you have a way of making everything sound so much better than it is?"

He shrugged, casually tucking some of my hair behind my ear. "It's a gift. You're just choosing to focus on a microcosm of a larger conversation. It's obvious how much she loves you. She just wants to be a part of your life and to make sure you're okay."

"She loves you too. One measly little conversation with you and she's smitten. It's sickening, really. She even dropped a hint or two about marriage, already. Well, her version of a hint, which isn't really so much a hint as a blatant suggestion tempered by aloofness."

He hummed, the cat-like purr rumbling through his chest and vibrating against my cheek. "She's not quite mastered the art of subtlety, has she?"

"Definitely not. Renee looks subtlety in the face and laughs." Edward smiled at my wry tone, probably pleased my sour mood had diminished to the point I was joking about my mother's more unusual qualities.

He tipped me backwards, laying me down on the duvet and hovering over me, careful to keep a respectable distance between us. "You're not mad at me any longer?" His eyes were inches from mine, soft but hungry.

I shook my head, the majority of my brain power still tangled up in deciphering that expression. It was making me forget why I had been upset in the first place.

"Good. I dislike it when you're upset with me. In the enduring words of Michael Newton, 'it sucks balls.'"

I choked out a laugh at his choice of quote. "Since when do you listen to anything Mike has to say?"

He scowled, laying down next to me so we were sharing my pillow, facing one another. He wove an arm over my waist protectively but kept his distance. "He's… an interesting individual. He harbours some bizarre thoughts." He paused a beat, the unhappy creases on his forehead deepening. "He wishes you'd pay more attention to him."

I bit my lip, hiding the smile that threatened to blossom as the reason for his sudden change in mood and the disappearance of his playfulness dawned on me. "Are you jealous?"

His lips quirked, stubbornly attempting to resist the scowl that threatened to show itself. "No," he said in a way that suggested the opposite.

His boyish envy was as endearing as it was humorous. If anyone had a right to be jealous in this relationship, it was me. One didn't have to be very observant to see that most of Forks High was infatuated with Edward. He only had to endure Mike's fumbling advances for my affection. The competition from Mike was flimsy as it was.

"No?" I asked slyly, purposefully goading him. It was a little unethical, but seeing that protective spark rise in him because of his possessiveness of me made my stomach knot pleasantly. "Did you know that Mike asked me to go to the dance before he asked Jessica?"

"I knew," he said smugly, derailing my attempt at provoking him. My inner hell-raiser pouted petulantly at the absence of a stomach-tightening protective display. "He was moping about it for several days. He thought incessantly about how you turned him down, attempting to pinpoint where he went wrong. It was extremely satisfying to watch, even the thirty-seventh time. Though, I'm still not sure how he managed to corner you alone… by your locker, it looked like? Where was I?"

"Alice told me she would distract you," I admitted. Alice had purposefully left Edward in the dark about her plan. "He would decide he wanted to ask me then change his mind right back. He never had the courage to go through with it while you were there. He was driving her up the wall with his constant back and forth decisions. She knew if he was turned down he'd stop."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Does it ever bother you the extent to which Alice feels comfortable meddling in our lives? Do you think she would be pleased with me if I deliberately orchestrated an opportunity for Lauren Mallory to ask out Jasper?"

I chuckled, picturing his idea of retribution. I was pretty sure it wouldn't be that easy to thwart Alice from meddling.

"She'd see it coming. Alice doesn't seem like the type to get jealous over something like that, anyway. She and Jasper have been married for more than fifty years, after all. It's pretty hard to compete with that."

"I already told you, I wasn't jealous." Edward's jaw tightened, exposing the untruth in his words. "I was indignant on your behalf. You deserve better than Michael Newton. He's only a bumbling child."

"Hmm." I looped my arms around his neck, encouraging him to close the distance between us, but he carefully maintained separation. "So what do I deserve then?"

He kissed the corner of my mouth softly. "Someone who can appreciate how special you are. Someone you can trust to make you laugh and hold you when you cry. Someone who will treat you like a blossoming rose, eagerly tending to you and encouraging you to reach full bloom. Someone who will love you with everything they have."

"Do you think you fit the bill? That's an awful lot to live up to…" I raked a hand through his hair, comfortingly, wanting him to know, without having to say so outright, that I thought he was all of those things for me, even if he didn't.

He looked shy, so different from the sure and confident Edward I had become accustomed to in the past weeks. His eyes were soft and full of hope and promise. Not the wine-coloured eyes I had once known, but ones I had come to love even more, for the strength of character and sacrifice they represented.

"I hope so. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will endeavour to do everything in my power to ensure your happiness, even if it's at the expense of my own. I want to be everything you need, forever."

"You are," I vowed. "I know that I can't really make promises about a forever I haven't even begun to live… but sometimes you just know when something feels right. We're one of those things."

"I'm glad." His tone was soft and velvet. "But there will always be ways I fall short. They might not be important to you now, but I will never be able to offer you warmth or softness or a family the way the Michael Newtons of the world can." His carefully measured words and self-conscious tone let me know that he'd exposed the root of his insecurity and apparent dislike for Mike.

"You have other things you offer," I countered firmly. "Dedication and love and protection. Those things are just as priceless."

He kissed me eagerly as if to prove something to himself. I mirrored his actions with just as much fervency, wanting him to find whatever reassurance he was seeking.

Just as I couldn't offer him things other vampires could, he couldn't offer me a human life. I knew how it felt to feel inadequate about what I wasn't. Edward had always been ready and waiting with assurances that those things were unimportant. I wanted to give him the same comfort.

His hand trailed over my hip, smoothing over the rough denim impatiently. I knew he would prefer bare skin. Ordinarily, I would too, but that wasn't what I wanted today.

It had been almost a week since we'd progressed our intimate relationship in the meadow. Edward was a quick study and almost immediately, he had acclimated himself to withstanding my scent while we were in throes of arousal.

In the days following our first exploration of below the waist action, Edward, intent on perfecting his ability to wring pleasure from my body without injuring me, was insatiable, not that I put up much – or any – fight. It felt too good to finally be able to indulge the twisty, tingly feelings that fought for attention inside me whenever I was with him.

With those experiences now firmly under our belt, I felt ready to take things a step further. Edward had been selfless with his affection. It was always about my pleasure. It was about time he felt good, too.

Slowly, knowing I was pushing an invisibly laid boundary, I allowed my hands to wander, laying light touches along his thighs and upward, tracing the masculine planes.

My fingers traced the pockets on the back of his jeans, lightly. When I cupped the solid flesh beneath, he stiffened slightly, the tempo of his kisses slowing marginally. He was used to touching me. He wasn't used to me doing the same for him. I wondered what I felt like to him. Was his skin more sensitive than mine because of his heightened senses? Or would he find rougher touches a better compliment to his more durable skin?

Only one way to know for sure.

If I'd learned anything about relationships since Edward and I had first met in the meadow months ago, it was that communication was key to making them work.

"Edward?" Once his eyes were focused on mine, I trailed a fingertip softly down his jaw. "Do you like it when I touch you like that? Or like this?" I roughly dragged a nail down the same path, exerting more pressure.

He swallowed, the gold of his eyes seeming to darken right before me. "Whichever you like, Bella. You feel good, always."

I smiled warmly. He was always so eager to make me happy. I wanted this to be about him. "But which do you like best?" I interrupted before he could give another evasive answer. "Be honest, please."

He smirked. "It's like choosing between apples and oranges. Both are good for different reasons. Soft is good, sweet, human. But it feels amazing when you scratch, too, more passionate, eager. But I suppose if you forced me to choose… the first one. It's more human… more Bella."

"Okay," I nodded, eager to put this newfound knowledge to use. I trailed my fingers down his cheek, and then his jaw and to the top of his chest softly, then scratched gently, running my nails in the open area revealed by the V-neck of his t-shirt. He growled softly, the content feline sounds I loved so much rumbling through his skin to mine.

He nearly bolted upright when I ran one of my fingers over his nipple, even though the cotton of his T-shirt prevented him from feeling the full effect.

I placed a hand on his chest soothingly, encouraging him to remain still. Reluctantly he did. His eyes were slightly wild when they met mine. I might have even said he looked scared.

I kept my tone soft and soothing, not wanting to encourage his panic. "Relax. This is supposed to feel good." I continued trailing my fingers down his abdomen. The already hard muscles tensed further under my touch.

He swallowed again. "It does, Bella. Trust me, it does. Too good. I don't think I can…"

I shushed him. "Yes, you can. I know you can. You're worried you might hurt me. But you won't." Gently, I extricated his hands from around me, encouraging him to place them on the mattress. "If you're not touching me, you can't hurt me."

"I don't know…" He trailed off, probably silently supplying a million horrific what-if scenarios to fill in the blank.

"I do," I countered. "You can do this. It's only scary to you right now because it's uncharted territory. Once you become accustomed to the sensation, you won't think anything of it."

He nodded faintly, granting me permission to continue. Slowly, so he was aware of what I was doing and could protest if he felt uncomfortable, I slipped my hand under the hem of his T-shirt, gently stroking his paradoxically soft skin. He laid as still as a statue while I trailed my fingers along his abdomen, the occasional contraction of a muscle the only sign he wasn't a stone carving. He stared at the ceiling, unblinking, his jaw working periodically as he swallowed hard.

After several minutes, he began to relax.

"See?" I soothed, inwardly cheering at the progress he already seemed to be making. The fear was already fading from his expression. "You're acclimating. It's not as difficult anymore, is it?"

He shook his head, unspeaking.

"Talk to me," I encouraged, wanting to hear his voice. His body language was telling me he was fine, but I didn't want to make any assumptions. "Let me know how you're feeling."

"Good, so good, Bella," he whispered, his voice hoarse and less structured than I'd ever heard it before. He sounded like someone in the heat of passion, not yet like someone unchained, so I felt confident continuing.

"You're doing perfect, Edward. I just want to try something now, okay? Try to stay relaxed."

He nodded hesitantly, visibly concerned but trusting me not to abuse the power he was granting me. My chest swelled with a surge of affection for him, knowing how difficult it must be for someone like Edward, who was naturally inclined to want to be in control, to allow me to take the lead, despite his misgivings.

I pulled the blankets from where they'd been discarded at the foot of the bed and draped them over us. Navigating blindly under the cover of my duvet, I found the fly of his jeans and popped the top button. I could feel him, hard and swollen through the thick fabric.

He tensed and swallowed again when my hand brushed against him, but he allowed me the action. I leaned down to kiss him softly. He returned the kiss forcefully, channeling his built up tension into it.

"Are you sure about this, Bella?" he murmured once I pulled away. He sounded so nervous; so unlike the Edward I was accustomed to. "I don't – maybe we should wait. I – I can't hurt you. If I hurt you, I'd never forgive myself. "

I stroked his hair. "Shh, it's going to be fine. Better than fine. Just… try. If it gets to be too much, we'll stop. Before anyone gets hurt, okay?"

He peered at me with wide, hesitant eyes, but eventually nodded trustingly. I kissed his forehead, sealing the promise.

Just as cautiously as before, I proceeded first undoing his fly, then pulling him from the confines of his pants. I was surprised to find he had neglected to wear underwear. I supposed vampires had no need for them.

The moment I touched him, he hissed loudly, his fingers digging forcibly into the mattress. The underlying springs cried out in protest, eventually giving way to his strength. Unsure if he could handle the added stimulus, I waited for the bouncing to cease before continuing.

Experimentally I brushed a fingertip over the head, then down the shaft. His chest rumbled. Emboldened, I gripped more firmly, my fingers curling around him, a perfect fit.

"You're okay?"

He nodded tightly. It might have been my imagination, but he seemed to loosen his strenuous hold on himself, if only marginally, at the sound of my voice. If rambling throughout this entire experience was going to make this easier for him, I'd talk until my voice gave out.

"You feel so good in my hand," I blurted, saying the first thing that came to mind, although it was true. It wasn't something I'd given much consideration to beforehand, but he felt like silk rather than stone. "Your skin is so much softer than I expected," I continued, "I hope I feel as good to you as you do to me."

He didn't respond aloud but his rapturous expression said volumes.

Once he'd calmed to a reasonable degree, I gripped him snugly and began to stroke softly, deciding that delicate "human" touches, as he'd deemed them, would be more appropriate for a first try. We could work up to more.

I watched his face as I stroked, needing to see his response. If there was any sign of panic or an indication he was about to lose his apparently tenuous hold on his control, I would stop, just as I'd promised him I would.

But he didn't look panicked at all. His eyes were wide with wonder and held mine steadily, his attention wrapped up in me entirely as he listened to me ramble about how everything felt on my end, and how much I loved him and wanted him to feel good.

His tensed jaw and the inhuman growling sounds emanating from somewhere deep in his chest were the only signs he was fighting for self-control.

With my free hand I smoothed his hair. "Everything still okay, baby?" I hoped the term of endearment would comfort him, as it did me.

He nodded tightly against my pillow. "Warm," he mumbled distractedly, his voice still hoarse and unlike its usual velvet.

"Close?"

He nodded again, his hips shifting against me. Until then, I had been controlling all the movement between us. He hadn't so much as budged. His fingers curled into the mattress as if to ground himself.

"Do you think you can handle it? It's okay if you say no. You've taken a big step today." I kissed his forehead.

He looked unsure for a moment before shaking his head. "I'm sorry for making this so complicated. I want to try," he whispered, his hoarse words almost indistinguishable.

I beamed at him, proud he wasn't letting his fear rule him. Some might have said I was being reckless but I wasn't. Edward wouldn't allow himself to hurt me. That's all there was to it.

"You're not making anything difficult. Whatever happens, we'll work it out together."

I sped up my movements experimentally. Edward's eyes scrunched closed as the sensations intensified, his lip finding its way between razor sharp teeth. I smiled, amused that he was using the action he often teased me about as a coping mechanism.

There was hardly any warning before his climax hit. It all seemed to happen so quickly.

His hips bucked frantically against me as his back curled. The sudden movement surprised me, but only because he'd been so completely still before. Despite appearing otherwise, I knew his actions were carefully measured so as not to hurt me. I appreciated the immense restraint it must have taken him. He could have easily shattered my hand with an errant motion.

As he shifted against me, a growled "fuck," dropped from his lips. My mouth popped open a little in surprise. Edward never swore around me.

I had my suspicions it was another of his unspoken rules about respecting women. Which only made it sweeter when he couldn't help but curse because I pushed him over the edge. A smug twinge of power surged through me.

I was quiet, letting him come down from whatever misty space he occupied at the moment. It didn't take him nearly as long to emerge from his cloudy fog as I usually did, just a few seconds.

He sat up, fixing his clothes. When the duvet pooled around us, revealing the destruction we had managed to inflict on our surroundings, I had to chuckle.

Edward's hair was an absolute riot and his lip had a large crack in it from where he'd bit it. I was sure I didn't look too much better. Several papers – our homework – lay crumpled and torn beneath us.

That wasn't the worst of the damage. My bed had been the worst sufferer by far. The bedclothes were torn in several places, looking like they'd gotten into a fight with a particularly nasty raccoon and lost.

The mattress had several unsightly holes gouged in it, where ten long fingers had clawed at it unmercifully.

Well, this was going to be hard to explain.

Edward looked around us at the destruction, embarrassed. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to cause so much damage. I didn't even realize I was doing it."

I shushed him, encouraging him to lie back down to the bed, I pulled the duvet up around us. I cuddled into his side when he complied. "Shut up. It was completely worth it. Better the bed than me."

He kissed my forehead. "Definitely." He paused, mulling over what to say. "Thank you for that, by the way. You're amazing, you know that, don't you?"

I couldn't help my responding grin. "Any time. Seriously." It was all sorts of fulfilling hearing him say in so many words that it had been enjoyable for him.

His lips curled into a frown against my skin. "I ruined your bed, Bella. I'm not sure that's a wise idea."

I rolled my eyes. There was no way I was letting him take a step backwards now. "Practice makes perfect, right? We're just going to have to put in some practice until we can get this right. And we will. Sooner or later. At one point, you didn't think you'd be able to stand being around me like this without hurting me, but you did."

"Practice," he repeated quietly.

"Exactly. Besides," I said brightly, "no springs are poking out, so it's all good. If I pull up the comforter and change the sheets, I bet you won't even be able to tell."

He chuckled. "The glass is half full, is it?"

"Overflowing," I corrected.

He hugged me tightly. "I love you." He spared a quick glance at the clock on my nightstand. "It's getting late. Charlie's going to expect me to leave soon."

I hummed in agreement, knowing he wasn't really planning on leaving at all.

His idea of leaving wasn't leaving so much as saying goodbye to Charlie and then barging back into my room through my window thirty seconds later. In the past week it had become a routine of ours. For my dad's sake, he'd leave, and for mine, he'd return.

I'd spent each night curled into his side as I fell asleep. During the night, he'd often leave to hunt or spend time with the Cullens in the silent morning hours, while I was passed out. But, without fail, he was always back by my side by the time morning dawned.

I was ready to curl up in the safe little cocoon of my bed with Edward and call it a night. I was suddenly feeling very tired. Warm and content and satiated and ready to sleep. There was a niggling little voice in the back of my head reminding me that I still had to do the homework I was so adamant about completing on my own before that could happen.

It was more easily ignored than expected. There would always be the morning. I wouldn't trade a good grade in Calculus for time spent with Edward, anyway. Even if it made me sound like a lovesick idiot.

Edward pulled himself from the bed and kissed my head, his happy smile still lingering.

"I'll be back."

I nodded sleepily knowing he would.

xx

Edward sat down next to me at the lunch table, his tray full of food he had no intention of eating. Most likely, he'd attempt to coerce me into eating his healthy choices in place of the pizza on my own tray. Today I was sticking to my guns, his uncanny ability to persuade be damned. I needed more sustenance than a rabbit.

"I'm good with my pizza," I said preemptively, eying the milk carton on his tray with distaste. I hated the taste of milk.

He looked at me innocently, shifting his lunch away from me, as if to protect it from me. "Who says I intend to share?"

I snorted unladylike. "Past experience. You barely managed to choke through a handful of popcorn and popcorn is delicious."

He grimaced at the memory. "It is not. It was awful, even for human food. Tasteless and squishy."

"If you think popcorn is awful, imagine how much worse healthy food tastes," I said, hoping to appeal to his vampiric distaste for human food.

"Nice try. I happen to know natural fruits and vegetables are delicious." He kissed my ear. "For instance, you smell like strawberry."

"I'm not drinking your milk," I stressed, even as I curved into his touch. "And no, I don't feel like eating a banana. No thanks to the wheat bread sandwich, either. You're lucky you're not someone's parent. You'd drive your kids nuts shoving health food on them. You'd have the kids who would beg their friends to trade for their fruit rollups."

He pouted, pausing a moment to reorient his attack. "What about the apple?" he suggested persuasively, complete with heart-warming smile. "You like apples. Did you know they're filled with vitamins and enzymes that can prevent heart disease and several cancers? It would be a terrible waste of good nutrients…"

I suppressed a laugh at his hopeful expression. "If you didn't want it to go to waste, you shouldn't have taken it. I can forage for my own food, thank you very much."

"Wasting food is the last thing I'm worried about, Bella. If I were to feel guilt over anything, it would be for the lives I've selfishly taken. Wasting food is a drop in the bucket of crimes I've committed against humanity. I just want to be sure you're going to live a healthy life. I can't lose you."

I elbowed him lightly; though I probably felt the impact more than him, it was the thought that counted. "No brooding at lunch. In high school, lunch is for gossip and eating. And maybe doing homework, but only if you forgot to do next period's assignment."

He patted his trendy Alice-supplied backpack. "Homework done. In two minutes," he bragged. "And eating is out. So I suppose that only leaves gossip. What do you have for me, Swan?"

I tapped my chin, trying to think of something interesting to share, which was harder than it seemed. Edward and I spent most of our time together. He knew everything important going on in my life and was likely to have heard the typical school gossip in the minds of everyone around him.

"Umm… I'm coming up blank. It's hard to supply fresh gossip to a mind-reader. What do you have for me, is a better question?"

He shrugged. "Emmett has made some progress with Rosalie, I think. Not much, but she's no longer throwing things when he's in the same room. Alice is still clammed up. She won't tell me what I'm supposed to do to help Emmett." He grimaced. "I _know_ there's something I'm supposed to do, I just don't know what."

Emmett had opted to pretend to be a college student visiting relatives rather than a high schooler, so I had yet to meet him.

At first, Edward had reluctantly admitted that he wasn't sure he wanted to tell me about Emmett's arrival. He'd recently relapsed to human blood and Edward hadn't wanted me to demand to be introduced. Instead of keeping Emmett a secret and making a unilateral decision, Edward had left the choice to me which I appreciated beyond words.

I was pretty sure I was less stubborn than he thought, anyway. I wasn't about to demand to meet Emmett if it made Edward uncomfortable. As curious as I might be, Edward was more important.

I let myself be contented by the plethora of stories about Rosalie and Emmett's antics that Edward had to share. He'd taken to visiting the Cullens while I slept and always came back with interesting stories. The more Edward talked about Emmett, the more curious I grew. I'd always been a sucker for a good love story. Rosalie and Emmett's seemed like one for the ages.

Regardless of any mistakes he'd made, Emmett seemed genuine and trustworthy; like someone I wouldn't hesitate to befriend. Though that probably wouldn't comfort Edward much. I'd made a routine of making friends with vampires and werewolves. I wouldn't push him out of his comfort zone unnecessarily. He would come around in his own stubborn time as he usually did.

Despite Edward's overabundance of worry, it was clear in the way that he talked about Emmett that he enjoyed spending time with him. Emmett's unfaltering energy and openness were a good counterbalance to Edward's tendency to be overly serious and sometimes brooding.

Edward's growing closeness with all of the Cullens had sparked a subtle but noticeable shift in him. Seeing him surrounded by the Cullens' network of love and support, made it easy to see how alone he'd been the last century. He had lived without a positive family dynamic to ground him. He was finally learning to trust and to let them in.

I had a feeling that was partially why Alice's silence was upsetting him so much. To him, with his past experience with James and Victoria, keeping secrets was equal to distrust and malice.

I cuddled into his side, offering comfort under the pretense of asking him to hold me. I knew it would make him feel better, even if he didn't.

"You're putting too much pressure on yourself. You can't fix Emmett and Rosalie. Only they can do that. Maybe you will end up doing something to help but if Alice won't tell you what it is, that's probably her way of saying that you aren't supposed to know. Let the chips fall as they will."

Edward looked down at me just like he had when I'd forced him to eat a handful of popcorn in Port Angeles. "But if I do that, I _won't know_."

I burst out laughing. "Isn't that what I just said?" I linked my fingers with his, squeezing warmly to take the sting out of my laughter. "I get you have a thing about control… but this is something you don't need to know. Let Alice play matchmaker. You trust her to take care of her family, don't you?"

I left unvoiced my thoughts about how they were quickly becoming his family too, not wanting to encourage him to meddle.

"I suppose."

He didn't sound sure but I knew that was the best I was going to get out of him so I took it upon myself to lighten the mood.

"Look," I teased, "Alice is confident whatever you're going to do is going to work. Just do whatever you do and let your Love Boat powers wash over Emmett and Rosalie. The mysticism of the Love Boat's powers is half the fun. It just works. There's no need to dissect it."

"I can't believe you compared me to the Love Boat," he grumbled, though I was pretty sure the analogy amused him. Mirthful bright gold gave him away.

"Just… stop worrying, okay? Be happy. I don't like it when you're miserable. It makes me miserable and I don't like being miserable. So quit the grumpy old vampire stuff. Oh, that reminds me!" I ducked out of his arms to reach into my bag, to grab the jar I'd placed in there earlier. "Yesterday, Angela and I were talking about vampires and–"

"Bella!" he hissed, his eyes widening like saucers as if some evil vampire police, patiently waiting for the perfect moment to off me, were hiding under the next lunch table.

I shushed him before his alarm could draw any attention to us, other than the usual longing stares he received on a daily basis. "Relax. Not _vampires_. Fictional vampires. Dracula. Angel. Lestat. Those vampires. And she brought up this weird myth and – well, maybe I should show you."

He smiled at me indulgently. "What is going on in that crazy head of yours, Bella? I'd give everything I own, just for the privilege of five minutes inside."

"Nothing too crazy," I promised, opening the jar and dumping its contents on the table in front of us. Hundreds of grains of dried rice scattered across the formica.

Edward looked down at them, then back at me. "One thousand, one hundred and seventy four." He paused, incredulous. "You know, Bella, typically human tradition is to throw dried rice at married couples, not your boyfriend."

I grinned excitedly. "So it worked! You had to stop and count every grain before you could do anything else?"

"No," he said flatly, his lips quirking into a mischievous smirk. "I just happen to be aware of that particular myth. I was indulging your absurdity. That myth is built on a flimsy premise as it is. I tallied the rice in approximately .03 seconds, and I'm being generous rounding up. Not much time for you to escape had I actually been required to stop to count them."

"Ugh," I groaned. "You're next to invincible. It isn't fair. Don't you have some deficiency? Like a silver bullet… or ooh, kryptonite?"

He laughed. "Sorry to disappoint. I'm not Superman. My weakness is nothing that impressive." He pulled an old lighter from the front pocket of my bag, spinning the flint to light it. "Just this. There's nothing more terrifying to a vampire than an open flame." He paused a beat. "By the way, why do you have a lighter in your bag? I hope you know that smoking is bad for you."

I rolled my eyes at the reemergence of his overprotective instincts. "Yes, Dad, I'm aware. I hate the smell of smoke, so no black lungs for me. To save you a lecture in the future, I'm also aware of what my brain looks like on drugs."

"Experimentation is a normal part of life for the average teenage human," Alice interjected, seeming to appear out of nowhere, Jasper trailing dutifully at her side. They slid onto the bench across from us. "Experimentation with drugs, alcohol and even one's sexuality are essentially rites of passage in this day and age."

"Hello, Alice," Edward said coldly, eyeing his friend distastefully. "Thank you for your opinion, unnecessary and destructive as it was." He was definitely still upset about her self-enforced silence.

"No prob," she winked. "Bella's going to be one of us in a few years. If you want her to live her human life to the fullest, you shouldn't be so limiting."

"There's no guarantee of that," Edward countered. "It could be ten years before she feels ready to take that step, if ever. She will, under no circumstances, be keeling over from a drug overdose in the meantime."

"It's okay, Edward," I soothed, running my hand up and down his back to calm him. He was sitting even more rigidly than usual, his unease with the conversation apparent. It had to be difficult for him to know how very breakable I was in comparison to him and have those destructive things brought up conversationally. Alice was only exacerbating his worries by encouraging me. "I have absolutely no desire to dabble in mind altering substances of any sort. Though, that whole sexual experimentation thing…"

Edward looked aghast. "Please tell me you're not saying what I think you're saying?"

"What?" I asked, confused. I didn't understand what the big deal was, I assumed he already knew I was open to trying new things. Yesterday's exploits had proved that, hadn't they?

Alice and Jasper both giggled, exchanging amused glances.

"Your boy isn't quite as puritanical as he'd have you think," Jasper explained. "He's worried – and slightly curious, might I add – that you plan to leave him for a girl."

"What! No!" I exclaimed, my cheeks on fire as the reason for everyone's astonishment dawned. "That's not what I meant! At all! Just that Edward and I – well, we, um, we have some things we could… nevermind."

"Don't worry about it, Bella," Alice said calmly, smoothing over my pathetic attempts at explaining myself. "You should see your face right now. Don't forget to breathe."

"Sorry," Edward repented, allowing me to bury my head in his chest, away from Jasper and Alice's laughing faces. "I wasn't trying to imply anything sordid."

"Sure you weren't," Jasper teased.

Edward continued over Jasper. "But when you said you were open to experimentation you frightened me. I'm a possessive creature. I couldn't handle seeing you with anyone else but me."

"I wouldn't want to be," I promised, my words muffled by his shirt. "You're enough to keep me entertained for several centuries yet."

He sighed into my hair. "Thank god for that."

Alice clapped her hands together excitedly. "Well, now that that's settled, there's something I wanted to talk to the two of you about."

"Rosalie and Emmett?" Edward asked hopefully. For all the time he spent brooding, he was, at times, surprisingly optimistic. Why he was now, I wasn't sure. Maybe his hopeless romantic tendencies and his pathological need to be of help to those he cared about were skewing his view. Even I knew Alice wouldn't give up on her secrecy that easily.

"Not quite. This is just about Emmett. I think it should be safe for Bella to meet him, today. It was safe before, of course. But now, all remaining traces of the humans' blood have burned through his system. He has promised to be on his best behaviour."

"He's driving me up the wall with his nosiness," Jasper added. "Every time you mention Bella, this big cloud of morbid curiosity washes over him. Sorry, bad choice of adjective," he corrected at Edward's frown. "He's fascinated by the fact you've chosen a human as a permanent mate and have no immediate plans to change her."

Alice and Jasper's approval excited me. With their support, maybe Edward would be swayed. I'd been looking forward to meeting the second starring performer in Rosalie's love story; the harlequin girl in me couldn't wait to see their real life happily ever after unfold… with Edward's unknowing help, of course.

To my surprise he nodded readily. "I trust Emmett."

Alice spun around the table, engulfing both Edward and I in a warm hug. "He's going to be so excited, you guys. It's going to mean the world that you trust him with her," she told Edward.

xx

My first impression of Emmett was of his booming laughter.

The deep but infectious sound was audible the moment I passed the threshold into the Cullen home. Edward stood vigilant at my side, ever ready to be my protector, my hand encased in his. Alice and Jasper trailed behind us. Rosalie had conveniently opted to go hunting. The minute she'd parked her shiny red BMW in the Cullen's drive, she was dashing for the treeline behind the Cullen property.

The sound of laughter was immediately supplemented by Emmett himself appearing in the foyer as he slid down the banister like an overgrown child.

The childlike entrance offset his hulking appearance. No one had quite prepared me for just how enormous Emmett was. He easily dwarfed Edward and Jasper, both who were rather tall in their own right. His broad shoulders were nothing to balk at either. His sheer bulk screamed tough and deadly.

Edward had shared enough stories for me to know this was more façade than reality. He might look like a bear, but he was more teddy bear.

"He's huge!" I whispered to Edward quietly.

Emmett grinned a wide, lopsided smile at me, having heard every word. "Common reaction from the ladies, I assure you." He winked.

I bit my lip, embarrassed by my lack of discretion.

Edward rolled his eyes, but stepped forward to introduce me. "Emmett, this is Isabella Swan, the love of my life. Bella, this is Emmett McCarty, bearer of inappropriate comments and general havoc-wreaker."

I stuck out my hand, unabashed, tilting my head up to meet his eyes, gold like the rest of the Cullens. "Hey Emmett."

Emmett accepted my hand readily, shaking gently. "What's up, girl?"

I shrugged. "Not much. Just hanging out with a bunch of vampires for the afternoon. You?"

He chuckled. "You're feisty, I like that. I bet you keep Ed here on his toes. Someone should, fucker thinks he knows everything as it is."

"Emmett," Edward growled. I squeezed his hand, imploring him to relax.

"Relax, dude. Bella's a big girl. She's running with the vampires, now. She's tough."

"I know that," Edward agreed, kissing the top of my head. "That's still no reason for us to act like degenerates around her."

Emmett smirked at me. "Still haven't managed to dislodge that stick from his a–sorry 'his behind,' huh?" he air quoted. "Might take a few decades, but don't worry, you'll get it."

I laughed. "He's not that bad. I think you have a way of bringing out the worst in him. You can't fault him for having scruples."

Emmett scoffed. "Scruples? Sure. Mind reading his opponents' every move in combat is completely ethical."

My stomach tightened at the thought of Emmett and Edward fighting. Emmett's sheer size… he could crush Edward. And unlike me, he actually had the potential to do permanent damage. "You guys get into fights?"

Emmett smiled mischievously. "Not like you're thinking. Eddie might be a pain in the ass, but I wouldn't want to kill him. Just play fighting between friends, you know? Someone talks shit, they better put up. We're vampires, that's how we roll."

Edward raised a challenging eyebrow at Emmett. "Please don't worry, Bella. He's making it sound worse than it is. He couldn't kill me if he tried. He's been on his back more than the rest of us combined. He lumbers around unable to catch anyone. If you're going to worry, Jasper's a bigger threat." He paused, as if reconsidering. "Actually, forget I said that. Don't worry at all."

Emmett chortled, fanning the fire. "Yeah, did you know Jasper's a vampire army vet? He's got the scars to prove it." He pointed at his arms. Edward sighed.

I glanced at Jasper, wondering what Emmett was talking about. On the rare occasions he'd worn T-shirts, he had always seemed unscathed to me. Jasper pulled up his shirt sleeves, revealing spidery, barely noticeable white markings. They looked like stretch marks more than vicious bites.

"Just a relic or two," he commented modestly. "All of it is firmly in the past. Though it continues to give me certain strategic advantages in… friendly squabbles, shall we say."

I rounded on Edward. "After all the hassle you give me about living well and staying healthy, you turn around and brawl with your friends? Are you nuts? You could get hurt!"

He hugged me tightly. To my greater irritation, his touch soothed my anger. "It's nothing detrimental to my health, Bella, I promise you. The opposite, in fact. I wouldn't lie to you about something so important. We heal quickly, you know that. As vampires, it's prudent that we're proficient in battle. Now that I'm going to announce I'm leaving James and Victoria permanently within a few days' time, it's especially critical that I be prepared to defend myself, if necessary."

"I don't understand," I whispered, slightly hurt that he felt he couldn't confide in me. Didn't he know we were in this together now? That wouldn't work if he shut me out. "How come you didn't tell me that you were worried about James and Victoria?"

"I didn't want to worry you needlessly. There's nothing you could do to change the circumstances. James, Victoria and I agreed we'd reconvene in two weeks. My time is almost up. I've already given you enough information to process because of what I am. I thought I could handle this situation on my own."

"So… this is why you've been disappearing nightly," I concluded, unsure how I felt about his admission. On one hand, I knew he meant no harm and appreciated that he felt he was protecting me. On another, I wanted him trust me, to share his life with me and rely on me to provide comfort and support. "To spend time honing your defenses with Emmett and Jasper."

He nodded, a slight smile appearing. "And Carmen, Alice and Esme. Occasionally even Rosalie, when she's decided Emmett needs to be put in his place. It's not been all clandestine battle, though. I do enjoy spending time with them. I'm aware I've not been very forthcoming, but it wasn't intended maliciously." He touched my cheek. "I know you could have handled the news. I just wish to protect you, if it's at all within my power to do so."

"Okay," I said quietly, understanding his position, even if I didn't agree with it completely. "But no more secrets. I want to watch."

Emmett grinned salaciously. "Now this should be interesting."


	26. Competitive

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Twenty-six; Competitive_

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN: **__Originally, I intended for this chapter to include a lot more content wise. The good news is that I wrote it as I'd intended, but decided it needed to be split due to its excessive length once I was done… So the next chapter is already complete and will be posted more quickly than usual._

_As always I appreciate all of you who take the time to let me know what you think. I truly am guided by your opinions. Approximately half of this story consists of tangents and ideas sparked by readers' suggestions and it's all the better for it :)_

xx

"Wow…" I murmured, as I watched the blurs I knew to be vampires whizzing by through the window. They were moving so quickly it was hard to tell what exactly was happening but I could always spot Edward, his shock of reddish bronze hair easily visible amidst the blur of pale skin and dark clothing.

Edward had agreed to let me play spectator to their defensive exercises, so long as there remained a barrier – flimsy though it might be to them – between us at all times. I took it as a positive sign that he hadn't insisted on sitting out to be my keeper. Though I was pretty sure it was as much an issue of masculine pride and not wanting to be sidelined as it was of trust.

Carlisle, who had been relegated to the role of my keeper in Edward's place, due to his non-participation, raised an amused eyebrow at me.

"They're quite something, aren't they? Imagine living with the rowdy lot of them for decades. They never lose their energy." His tone was sardonic but the underlying pride in his voice was obvious.

"Maybe one day I will," I said carefully. "If I'm with Edward. I think he cares about you guys. A lot. He won't say so, but… I think he thinks of you as a second family."

Carlisle smiled gently out the window, his gaze focused on Edward and Alice, who from the looks of it, were very evenly matched in combat. They danced around one another at the speed of light, looking more like they were performing a ballet at warp speed, than attempting to best the other in pseudo-battle. The others were all gathered around in a loose circle, cheering and goading like boisterous fans at a wrestling match.

"Thank you for saying so, Bella. I don't think you grasp how much hearing that means to me. I value my family more than anything material in this world. Edward, and of course yourself, would be welcome additions."

I shrugged bashfully. "Edward deserves to have people who care about him."

"Yes, he does. Perhaps I should thank you for being one of them, also. I can't claim to have known him well before he met you, but in your presence he glows. I don't need my son's ability to feel the purity of his love for you. He's let you in, in a way I don't believe he ever has or will ever again let anyone in. That's the greatest gift a vampire can give: his love and trust. Keep it sacred."

I flushed at the fatherly advice, having every intention of making good use of it. "Thanks, I… I'll do my best. I love him too."

He nodded warmly. "I know."

A beat of silence descended, quickly growing awkward. "Um, so how come you're not joining in?" I wondered to fill the silence, nodding to the rambunctious activities outside.

"It's not in my nature to enjoy partaking in any sort of conflict. I'd much rather watch my family and remain impartial and ready to intervene, should tempers begin to flare, as they inevitably do."

"Rosalie?" I guessed. She seemed like the one with the shortest fuse by far. Thankfully, she had yet to return from her impromptu hunting trip.

Carlisle chuckled. "Surprisingly, no. Rosalie, more often than not, is the kind to bottle her feelings and smolder over time. Rarely does she act out aggressively. Unfortunately, you and Edward have bore the brunt of a very long held grudge. Emmett, too. All my children are naturally competitive. However… my wife is a very passionate woman. Sometimes her feelings get the best of her."

"Esme!" To say I was shocked would have been a massive understatement. "But she's so sweet and wholesome. She's always trying to cook for me. She tries to feed me more than Edward! That's not easy, trust me."

Carlisle laughed outright. "As I said, she's a passionate woman. In all aspects of her life. She loves her family and is passionately maternal. However, her passion sometimes manifests itself in competition, as well."

"Did you tell her about the time Mom knocked over our house in Massachusetts?" Alice asked from behind us.

In my disbelief, I hadn't even noticed that Alice and Edward had called it quits and were both standing next to us. Vampires moved stealthily when they wanted to.

Edward immediately made his way to my side. He kissed the top of my head, double and triple checking nothing had happened to me in the last twenty minutes, I was sure.

"Esme knocked over a house?" I asked dumbfounded. It kind of felt like I'd entered wonderland unknowingly and everything was all mixed up.

"Yup," Alice said proudly. "Jasper gave her a violent case of the giggles that lasted for hours on end, after she enrolled him as Women's Studies major at Boston University. When he finally let up after thirteen hours, she wasn't so pleased. Fire breathing mad is more like it. When she kicked him out of the house, he took a couple support beams with him. She was extremely remorseful, the moment after it all went down – literally – of course."

"Okay, remind me never to piss off Esme."

"It's probably for the best," Alice agreed.

"So…" I changed the subject, looking to Alice and Edward. Talking about Esme as anything but a sweet homemaker was seriously weird. "Who won?"

They both looked at me sourly.

"Tie." Edward spat out the word as if it had done something to personally spite him. I wrapped my arms around him in a consoling hug.

"It was a stalemate, even after twenty minutes," Alice added. "We weren't going to get anywhere. He's faster than I am but I'm more limber. Then there are our abilities, which are also evenly matched."

"Well that's good, right?" I said diplomatically. "Everyone wins."

They both rolled their eyes.

"See? What did I tell you?" Carlisle interjected, amused. "Competitive."

"Since there was no winner, who's up next?" I wondered, eager to direct the subject away from the blasphemous tie.

"It was supposed to be Jasper and Emmett, but they've both gone missing," Edward explained, looking out the window for them. "I can't hear them at all. They might have gone looking for Rosalie? It has been a few hours since she disappeared."

Alice glanced slyly at me then back at Edward. He appeared unfazed but I knew better. Alice was brewing up one of her schemes.

"Why don't you go entertain Esme?" Alice suggested to him. "I'm sure she's eager to get in on the action. No one except Jasper feels comfortable rousing her competitive spirit. Even Carmen and Eleazar know better. I'm sure she's dying for a new opponent."

Edward nodded, no doubt eager to redeem himself after his stalemate with Alice. "Will you be okay here with Alice and Carlisle?"

I nodded, standing on my toes to kiss the corner of his mouth. "I'm fine. Go have fun and try not to get thrown into the house, please."

He nodded, kissing me back. "I wouldn't dream of it. You're in here. I'll keep you safe at any cost."

"That's sweet," I murmured. "Now go kick some ass."

We all watched as Edward approached Esme in the Cullens' sprawling backward, his swagger declaring his confidence.

"He has no idea what he's getting himself into," Alice chuckled, as Edward tapped Esme, who had been chatting with Carmen, on the shoulder. "Look how casual he is."

"Oh dear," Carlisle muttered worriedly as his wife rounded on Edward, a huge shark-like grin on her beautiful face. "Perhaps I should be near at hand, to ensure things remain on the straight and narrow. That grin never precedes anything good."

He didn't wait for a response before disappearing, only to materialize beside Edward and Esme seconds later, just as they faced off in the makeshift-ring that had been drawn in chalk in the grassy backyard. I could almost hear his resigned sigh.

"Speaking of looks that don't mean anything good, you have one of your own," I told Alice suspiciously. "Where did you send Emmett and Jasper?"

She looked at me with huge doe eyes. Wide and gold, her eyes looked so much like Edward's, they could easily pass for the cousins they pretended to be. "Okay, but this isn't a big deal. Just remember that you're my friend and you love me. Promise?"

I exhaled loudly. If I wanted in on the secret, I was going to have to sacrifice my better judgment. "You're trying to trap me, but fine, I promise. I'll still love you. I make no promises about continuing liking you, though."

Alice was appeased. "That's the best I could hope for," she said brightly. "Well, you remember last night, how there was that little mishap with your bed? Jasper and Emmett are replacing it for you. Don't worry, I picked out the replacement."

I flushed scarlet. "How did you know about that?"

"I've been keeping a very close eye on Edward ever since he separated from James and Victoria," she explained rapidly. "In the event anything goes sour, we need to be able to respond quickly. I try not to get involved in these sort of personal things and to provide privacy whenever possible but my gift isn't so cut and dry. I ignore what I can but sometimes what I see is out of my control. I didn't mean to see, I promise, but the torn bedding was driving me up the wall. If I didn't do something, you would have left it for weeks! It's a crime against interior décor."

"So you sent Emmett and Jasper, of all people, to remove it?" I grumbled in a low voice, to avoid drawing attention from the others, namely Edward, who thank god, was still distracted sparring with Esme. "Are you crazy? They'll make him miserable, teasing him over this. He'll never let me touch him again! Alice!"

"Relax," she soothed. "Everything works out, I promise. They'll tease him, yes, but it won't make him shy away if that's what you think. He gets defiant about it, actually. It's really actually very sweet. To put them in their place he… well, you'll see. You'll like it, trust me."

"Great," I muttered.

No sooner had I uttered the word than Alice broke into one of her all-knowing grins.

"They're almost back. I'm going to go help Carlisle cage Esme before they get here. Edward's winning. Carlisle's going to need all the help he can get. I'll meet you downstairs. They should be back by the time you get there."

By the time I made it to the back door at my sluggish human-pace, Emmett and Jasper were indeed back.

"Check it out!" Emmett called, holding my holey mattress above his head like it was some sort of trophy. "Looks like our little Eddie's been getting some!"

"Where did you get that?" Edward questioned, eerily calm. There was no masking the underlying anger waiting to be unleashed, though. He stalked towards Emmett furiously.

"Oh, nowhere. Just a little house in the north end of Forks. Home of one of Forks' finest. Should make for a little fun… well a little more fun." Emmett replied innocently. "Hey, Jas, catch!"

My former mattress went flying, soaring over Edward's head and into Jasper's arms, in a crude, super-sized version of monkey in the middle. Edward might have been faster than either of them but with Jasper and Emmett's combined strength and military prowess, they were quite easily able to evade him.

Not for long, though. Edward quickly gave up retrieving the mattress and tackled Emmett clean to the ground, a large crash echoing as he was sandwiched between Edward and the earth. The mattress collided atop them both. Edward stood and grabbed it roughly, tearing it into several smaller pieces as if it were nothing more than paper and flung them at Emmett, who shielded himself with his arms. The shreds of cotton and metal bounced off him ineffectually.

"What the fuck is your problem, Emmett?" Edward seethed at the laughing giant at his feet. "If you think this is funny, you're an asshole. Bella's just upstairs. If she sees and you make her feel so much as a twinge of embarrassment over this, so help me god… I will kick you into the lake from here."

Emmett plucked some stuffing from his hair with a huge, playful grin. He was definitely enjoying riling Edward up. "Dude, that's like five miles. You might want to think of another way to release that aggression. And hey, you're in luck, we got your girlfriend a new mattress."

Edward shot Emmett a fatal stare. "I don't think five miles would be much of a challenge right now. Perhaps we should give it a shot."

"Relax," Emmett replied easily, not the least bit worried that Edward would follow through with the threat. "So you and Bella got a little amorous last night. So you're a little embarrassed. It's cool. It happens. We totally understand. Sometimes when things get a little hot and heavy, it's hard to remember not to rip apart the furniture."

He pointed to me, causing Edward to freeze and turn to me, a deer caught in headlights. He hadn't noticed I'd joined them.

"I mean, Bella's cool with it, aren't you, Bella? Check out those claw marks." He held up a piece of the mattress with Edward's distinct gouges. "That right there is some serious passion, girlfriend. You deserve a high five." He stretched out a hand for me to slap.

"Emmett," Edward growled warningly, stepping between us, blocking Emmett from my view. "Bella, I'm so, so extremely sorry. I have no idea how they found out. I didn't tell them anything, I swear to you. I wouldn't do that. Unlike some people," he glowered at Emmett, "I value our privacy."

"I think I have a pretty good idea of how they found out," I replied sardonically, shooting Alice my best evil eye. It was a mere shadow of Edward's, but Alice had the decency to look sheepish nonetheless. "I know it wasn't your fault. Just, please, don't let Emmett's juvenile behaviour make things awkward between us."

"Not my intention, at all," Emmett interjected brightly. "The more hanky-panky, the better, I say. Just trying to show everyone that Ed's not as much of a prude as he pretends to be… and maybe get him to loosen up and live a little. It's okay to let the world know you do more than kiss your girl on the cheek. Don't be so frigid, you two."

Edward grit his teeth. "This relationship advice coming from a guy whose potential mate's last physical contact with him was to throw a piano at him? I think I'll pass." He stomped the few paces separating us. "And for the record, Bella and I are not frigid."

"Edward–"

I didn't get to finish my sentence. Edward cradled me to his chest and dipped me low, kissing me deeply, seductively, right in front of Emmett, who watched, completely gobsmacked. Edward even lifted my leg to hitch it around his. Only when I needed to breathe did Edward relent and allow us to separate, albeit marginally. He rested his forehead on mine, smiling at me sweetly.

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" Emmett grinned salaciously. "Dude, I think we might need to go put out a couple wildfires, 'cause I think I saw some sparks."

"Shut up, Emmett," Edward muttered, though the fury had disappeared from his tone. "Perhaps you should make use of the time you dedicate to annoying everyone to attempt to win Rosalie's forgiveness. You'd be golden."

"Dude," Emmett groaned, flopping back into the grass, "don't remind me. Did I tell you she called me a 'fucking assmunch' yesterday? And I thought we'd been making some progress. She actually smiled at me the day before. Well it was more of a grimace, but close enough."

Edward's expression turned smug. "Now I get what this whole thing was about. You're jealous Bella and I have what you can't get from Rosalie."

Emmett looked like he'd swallowed a sock, a very forced laugh following. "Yeah, right. Rosalie and I are copasetic. We're right where we're supposed to be. My plan is working perfectly."

"Plan? I wasn't aware you had one of those. You haven't given it much thought, if that's the case…" Edward drawled, egging him on. "Face the facts, you're just like a little boy pushing others on the playground because he's jealous."

"Not a chance," Emmett said firmly. "Rosalie and I are on the path to making out in the backyard just like you two any day now. And clawing things. Lots of things. Maybe even tearing down some walls because we'd be awesome like that."

"Really?" I asked Emmett innocently. Edward was definitely on to something. The way Emmett had been acting, he deserved anything he got. I was getting in while the going was good.

"So it doesn't bother you even a teeny bit when I kiss Edward like this?" I demonstrated, pressing my lips against his. Edward responded happily, eager to stick it to Emmett. "You're not jealous at all? Not even when I tell him that I love him, so, so much and that I can't wait until we're alone again?"

Emmett squirmed uncomfortably, squinting as if he was in pain. "Okay, fine! I'm jealous. It's not fucking fair. You guys are ridiculously cutesy and sweet all the damn time. I want that! I want to hold Rosalie's hand and kiss her cheek and tell her I love her. But Ed already knows that because he can read my fucking mind. Ass."

Edward and I giggled; that admission coming from Emmett was rather unexpected.

"I think it's charming that you want to romance her," I told him. "You should tell her that, you know. Playing the whole aloof, 'I'm cool no matter what happens between us' card has not been working for you. Clearly."

"Hear that, Emmett?" Edward asked smugly, "Bella thinks you've got no game."

Emmett banged his head on the ground several times, leaving a large divot. "I cannot believe I'm considering taking advice from the two of you on how to score. This is the fucking twilight zone."

xx

"He's really excited about this," Alice confided as she expertly twisted a curling iron through my hair, helping me get ready for the date I had promised Edward I would go on.

She'd whisked me away from the rest of her family without an explanation. My only hint was a firm comment from Edward as he released me into her care, that "no fragrances" be involved. I should have known better than to think Alice wouldn't catch wind of an opportunity to make a life-sized Barbie out of me.

That was how I'd unwittingly found myself in her cavernous bathroom, surrounded by a labyrinth of cosmetics, fragrances and styling tools. Fear bubbled. My traitorous boyfriend had eagerly passed me off to be made up within an inch of my life with typical male indifference.

Surprisingly, it was turning out to be less torturous than I expected. Alice wielded a curling iron with machine like precision, and seemed to know exactly what to do to make me feel pretty, but not uncomfortably out of my element. I didn't have much experience with the more frilly aspects of being a girl but thanks to my mom I knew enough of the basics to get by.

"I think he feels kind of obligated to, you know, complete my human experience. And he doesn't need to. I like him the way he is. He doesn't have to play human for me."

"It's not like that at all, Bella." She misted something– scent free, she promised – on my hair. "Trust me, he's excited to treat you to a date, properly. He wants you to see he can be the kind of boyfriend he wants to be. He's doing it for himself as much as you. Maybe more. Guys can be insecure, too. He just wants to show you off for a night, there's no harm in that."

I had to suppress a snort. "Show me off? When I'm standing next to him no one is looking at me. No one."

Alice shrugged dismissively, meticulously arranging several strands of hair. "Perhaps you're just oblivious to the attention you receive. Edward isn't. You're very beautiful. Edward chose you out of all the millions of humans out there. He loves you for who you are, yes. But don't be naïve. There's a reason you've captured him so completely. He's attracted to the way you look, also. It's no small feat capturing the attention of a vampire."

I'd never considered that before, but the argument made sense once I took the time to think about it. That didn't stop it from blowing my mind that Edward truly thought I was pretty enough to stand at his side.

"Maybe, but even you have to admit my colouring isn't very unique. Just brown. He could have found any other number of girls who are as pretty or prettier than me."

Alice shook her head. "That's not true. And it's not just Edward that sees it. We all do. I'd kill for your hair. It's such a rich, multi-faceted brown and so long." She combed her fingers through the length of it nostalgically. She'd managed to convert the usually stick straight brown into shiny, waving mahogany. "My hair can pass as fashionable now, but at times it's been a hassle to attempt to fit in. There's only so much you can do with a few inches."

"Thanks," I said bashfully. I still wasn't the best at accepting compliments but I'd learned better than to question a vampire's much more powerful vision.

"And you have the most beautiful skin," she continued. "Cosmetic companies spend billions trying to recreate what you have. Edward would probably never say as much, but I suspect it's one of the features that drew him to you. Human skin often appears rough, or discoloured through our eyes. Yours is flawless and so creamy." I touched my cheek, as if I might feel the difference. I didn't. I was as normal as ever. "It rivals vampire skin, visually. I can't imagine how smooth it will appear after your conversion."

"Why do you keep mentioning that – me being changed, I mean – like it's a certainty?" I wondered, as she swept something light and shimmery over my eyelids with a soft brush.

It was something I'd been curious about for a while. Alice mentioned it frequently – usually much to Edward's displeasure – speaking as if it was a given I would be a vampire in the relatively near future.

"Edward mentions it sometimes, too," I explained, "but he's always so vague, like he's not sure he wants it to happen. He's always talking about making sure I live a full human life first." What exactly that constituted, in his mind, I wasn't sure. My life felt full already. "Have you seen something?"

I wasn't sure if I wanted to know if she'd managed to pinpoint a date or something but I couldn't stop myself from asking.

"Yes and no." She looked at her artwork on my eyelids critically, expertly switching out brushes and various pots of colour in light nude shades as she spoke. "Nothing is certain. The future is not a static thing. As decisions get made and unmade, it changes. However, right now, there is a strong possibility you'll be one of us within the next few years. That can change, should you make a more firm decision one way or the other."

"Then why is Edward always so evasive about it?"

"He wants your decision to undergo the change to come from you. He's worried that sharing his opinion on the matter will sway you into doing something you don't want to."

"But what exactly is his opinion?" I closed my eyes allowing Alice to apply dark mascara to my lashes. She did so with aching precision.

"That's not something for me to share," Alice said lightly. "Edward wants you to make your decision for you, not for him. Or anyone else, for that matter. And I agree. Being a vampire is not an easy life, even knowing beforehand what you're getting into. If you make that choice, do it because it's what you want."

I inhaled deeply, frustrated by my own confused emotions. "I think it's what I want. But I don't want to do something Edward will hate me for. What if the reason he likes me is because I'm human and he just doesn't know it? He's said before my mind is his idea of tranquility. What if that disappears after I change?"

"You're still thinking about it all wrong," Alice criticized gently. "Edward wants you to do what _you_ want not what you think he wants. He'll love you regardless, I promise."

"How do you know?" I countered stubbornly. "Any number of things could change that are outside of my control."

"I know because he's a vampire," Alice said firmly. "We get one shot at love. We can fall in like or lust hundreds of times over the lifetimes we live, should we never find a mate. But once we find the one, that's it, there's no escaping it. The term 'bonded pairs' is used to describe vampire mates because they're bonded together by an invisible cord. While you might not be a vampire yet, Edward has already formed his bond to you. You've not yet made that irreversible connection to him. You still have the option to choose a different life, should you wish."

I thought about that for a moment. It was simultaneously reassuring and depressing. It was reassuring to know that Edward would irrevocably return my feelings, but it made me feel horrible that I was leaving him hanging without the same guarantee. I wondered if he ever worried that I might change my mind. I wouldn't but worrying about the possibility I might had to feel awful.

That made me think of how Rosalie must have felt when Emmett left. Was there some sort of loop hole?

"How come Rosalie and Emmett don't have that bond, then? How come he could leave her?"

Alice smiled wanly. "Don't mistake the bond for love at first sight. It's not. It isn't immediate and all consuming. It offers a rare possibility for change in our kind, yes, but the bond does not precede feelings of love. First comes love, then the bond. Rosalie and Emmett were never in love."

"Why does he care so much about winning her over, then?" I persisted. "Why would he wait decades, just for a chance with her?"

Alice shrugged, tidying the granite countertop that had managed to gather an astounding array of products considering it was only me she was putting them on.

"I know a lot of things but even I don't know how Emmett's mind works. Edward might field that question better. Or better yet, ask Emmett. But if I had to guess… Rosalie is very beautiful, even for a vampire. That's not something one easily forgets."

"That makes it sound so shallow."

"I'm sure it's more complex than that… Rosalie is a complicated individual. She has a lot to offer the world. She's fierce and compassionate in turns. Unfortunately, it's been difficult for her to get the world to see her beyond the way she looks."

Alice spun the chair I was sitting in to face the mirror that covered an entire wall of her bathroom. "Speaking of looks, what do you think of yours?"

I touched my face in awe. I still looked like myself but a slightly better version, like a soft focus light had been shined on me, masking all visual flaws.

"It didn't take much," Alice explained happily. "No base, because you've got beautiful skin, as I've said. Just enough to highlight and open up those big brown eyes of yours."

"It's really pretty, Alice," I complimented, still shocked I was looking at my own reflection. "I have to admit I was expecting it to be a lot worse."

"Worse?" Alice laughed. "Have you learned anything about me, Bella? If nothing else, I have good taste. Besides, if I brought you downstairs looking like you escaped from the eighties, Edward would kill me."

She grabbed my hand. "Now come on, let's go pick out a dress." She stopped me before I could interject. "We'll find something you'll love. I have something for everyone. Rosalie will help."

"Rosalie?" I asked dubiously, allowing Alice to drag me into her bedroom. In my experience, Rosalie and help didn't belong in the same sentence, not as far as helping me was concerned anyway.

Rosalie looked up from where she'd been lounging on her sister's bed. "Alice was right," she said disinterestedly, picking at a perfect cuticle. "You look nice… for a brunette."

"Thanks, I think," I responded carefully, sitting down on the edge of the bed, as far away from Rosalie as possible.

She sat up fluidly, crossing her long legs in a single smooth motion. "Sure, whatever."

"I… uh, I'm surprised that you're here," I said, attempting not to sound too mousy. I couldn't help it; she intimidated the hell out of me. "I didn't think you liked me much."

She quirked her shiny pink lips. "I don't not like you. You never did anything to me. Your boyfriend, on the other hand, could get my family killed."

I frowned. "Edward never asked anyone to do anything… they volunteered. Carlisle and Alice sought him out, not the other way around," I said bravely. I might be mousy but even I wouldn't let Rosalie speak badly of Edward for something that was out of his control.

"Whatever." She shook a bottle of nail polish, dismissing the topic. "Do you want me to do your nails or not?"

"Do my nails?" I looked down at them. My typical clear coat looked fine to me.

"Yeah. Alice _says_ she doesn't like the smell but we both know it's because her hand isn't nearly as steady as mine, that she prefers I do it. I don't know the meaning of streaking."

"Really?" Alice joked, poking her head out of the cave she deemed a closet. "That's not what the Yale class of '89 would say."

"Ha ha." Rosalie waved the bottle of very pale pink polish she'd selected at me. "Are you going to give me your hand or not?"

I did, not wanting to offend her by saying no. She was talking to me in a somewhat friendly – or at least civil – manner. I considered that a victory.

With surprising gentleness and not so surprising efficiency Rosalie began coating my nails.

"You streaked?" I asked, unable to suppress my curiosity.

"At her graduation from law school," Alice butted in from the depths of her closet.

"Damn right." Rosalie agreed in a self-satisfied tone. "And I didn't even get caught."

"Not true," Alice called. "She totally got caught. Everyone recognized her hair. They just had no way of proving that she actually did it, because it took her all of thirty seconds before she was back in her seat."

"I gave that class a moment they'll never forget," Rosalie retorted. "They should have been thanking me, not trying to condemn me."

I smiled at the lighthearted banter. Rosalie wasn't so bad when neither Emmett or Edward were around. I wondered if she just had an aversion to males in general. "You guys have lived the most interesting lives."

Rosalie sniffed. "It has its moments."

"You seem a little happier now that Emmett's back," Alice observed flippantly, emerging from her closet with a dozen dresses flung over her arm.

I was glad she had been the one to say it, not me, because Rosalie glared at her lethally.

"He wishes," she snarled, capping the nail polish bottle angrily. I looked down at my hands, surprised to see she'd finished already. And done a flawless job, naturally. "The ass hasn't even apologized yet. If he wants me, he's going to have to try harder. A lot fucking harder. I am not the kind of girl who rolls over for a pretty face, no matter how cute the dimples… or how rock hard the body attached to it."

"Don't you feel at least a little better having handed his ass to him?" Alice questioned, setting the load of dresses down between us on the bed. "That had to give you some vindication."

She winked at me, explaining, "Emmett was being all cocky, and well, Emmett, running his mouth as usual and ended up issuing a challenge to Rosalie as she was coming back from hunting. Not a wise idea on his part."

"I find it amusing that you think Emmett has the capability to be wise. He's a fucking idiot."

"Right now, I think your opinion on the state of Emmett's intelligence is null and void due to personal investment," Alice said cheekily.

"Whatever."

"I think he's funny," I pointed out. "Sure sometimes he's a little annoying, but… he brings a necessary light-heartedness to the dynamic you guys have."

"If by light-heartedness you mean a sense of humour that, under other circumstances, could belong to a twelve-year-old, I think you're right," Rosalie said stubbornly.

"Okay, okay, enough about Emmett," Alice said, her sweet voice holding more command than I would have thought possible. "Dress time. I've picked out several options for you. They should all fit, so we're really just looking for something that suits you."

"Why don't you just tell us which one we're going to pick?" Rosalie suggested, in a surprising act of pragmatism. "Save us the hassle of waiting for Bella to try them all on?"

I was pretty sure she wasn't asking to be nice but I couldn't have agreed more.

Alice laughed at us as if the idea was preposterous. "We haven't seen them, so we haven't decided. Clothes don't look the same in my head as they do in person, anyway. Here, try on this one," Alice handed me a deep blue sheath. It was gorgeous, I had to admit. "I have a good feeling about it."

Self-consciously, I emerged from Alice's closet once I'd managed to wriggle my way into the dress. Alice zipped up the back for me.

"Oh my god," she breathed, swishing the silky material that just barely skimmed my knees. "It's gorgeous on you. Simple, but perfectly contoured to your shape. Edward is absolutely going to love it. And it doesn't clash with your cast!"

I looked in the mirror, full of doubt. It was more bare skin than I was used to, but thankfully not enough to make me uncomfortable. My hair covered most of my bare shoulders. "You don't think it's too much?"

"Don't over think everything," Rosalie offered shortly, briefly looking up from painting her nails blood red. "You look hot. The sweetheart neckline is perfect for you."

I didn't know what that meant but it was a compliment. Coming from Rosalie, I accepted it gladly. The dress did look very pretty and was surprisingly comfortable. The silky material felt smooth and cool.

"Okay," I agreed, glad to be spared the experience of trying on a runway's worth of dresses. I turned slightly, relishing the swishy material floating around me. "I like it."

"Edward likes it, too," Alice confided proudly. "He says you look radiant and he can't wait to see it in person."

I laughed. I should have expected Edward to be spying on me through the sisters' eyes. "Tell him he can stop spying. I'm coming down now."

"He heard," Alice said, winking. "He's waiting."

xx

_Expect the next chapter in the next few days. In the mean time, take a moment to review this one… I gratefully accept gushing compliments… and any anything else you might have to say, including but not limited to commentary, criticism, fic recommendations, conspiracy theories and otherwise random rambling ;)_


	27. Enchanted

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Twenty-seven; Enchanted_

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN: **__So here's part two of the chapter posted earlier this week. Hopefully you're not too confused by the end of it. We're finally getting somewhere, I promise._

xx

"Have I told you that you look gorgeous, yet?" Edward breathed into my ear as he helped me out of his car. "Blue is definitely your colour."

"Just a few," I mumbled, wobbling unsteadily on the perfectly matching pumps Alice had supplied to complement my dress. They were only a few inches high but it was enough to exacerbate my clumsiness. Thank god, Edward wouldn't let me fall.

Since I'd descended from Alice's room, he was perpetually by my side, only letting go of my waist once I was safely seated in the confines of his car.

"I hope you're aware you're a total cliché by asking me that," I commented teasingly.

He shrugged apologetically. "I can't help it. You've reduced me to a state of fumbling for words. Clichés are all I have right now. I can't think straight when you're so utterly mesmerizing."

"Uh huh, you seemed to have the willpower of a titan on the way here," I pressed as he pocketed his keys, guiding me towards an elegant looking building. I'd begged for our itinerary during the car ride to Seattle, but he'd refused to budge, no matter how much I pleaded or fluttered my lashes at him. "I still don't know where we're going."

"For dinner. I promised you dinner and a show, didn't I?"

"You did," I agreed, "but we both know you won't partake in the former. We could have done something we'd both enjoy."

"I'll enjoy it, trust me." He beamed at me, looking as gorgeous as he claimed I did in his perfectly tailored charcoal suit.

"Lounge 88," I read the graceful cursive plastered on the side of the building. That told me absolutely nothing.

Edward smirked, leading me through the heavy wooden doors, effortlessly supporting my weight as well as his own. He greeted the host politely. "Reservations under Masen."

The host nodded smoothly, leading us on a winding path through the restaurant to a cozy table near the back, right next to a slightly raised stage where a pianist was supplying live dinner music. The table was set with more silverware than I could possibly use, my plate adorned with a simple white rose.

"Wow," I murmured taking in the pristine but definitely charming atmosphere. It seemed I was being reduced to one syllable words more and more frequently lately. Edward seemed to have that effect on me.

"What do you think?" Edward helped settle me into my seat. I chuckled at his proud smile.

"It's lovely," I admitted. "Thank you for doing this. I know I whined and complained about it but really, thank you. This is all sorts of romantic. I didn't know I wanted this until just this moment."

He settled into his adjacent seat. "I'm glad." He leaned over to kiss my temple. "I've told you before, I'll do my best to be everything you'll ever need, even if you don't know you do."

He handed me a delicate paper menu, ignoring his own. "I hope you're hungry, because you're eating for two."

I laughed at his choice of words. "Some people might take that the wrong way."

Edward shrugged, winding his fingers with mine under the table. "Let them. We know the truth."

I nodded, skimming the menu. Everything sounded good. "This is so overwhelming. I have no idea where to start." I eventually settled on randomly selecting an item just as the waiter approached our table. Salmon, it turned out. I insisted Edward choose the second for me.

He was more decisive, immediately pointing to the filet mignon. He waited until the waiter left to confide he'd chosen it only because it was the most expensive item on the menu.

"That has to mean it will be good, right?" he rationalized. "I can't remember what most of these things taste like, cooked, anyway."

I laughed. "I'm noticing a pattern. Vampires prefer luxury in all aspects of their lives. Even in food they won't eat."

He shrugged, kissing my temple lightly, his eyes a smoldering honey. "What can I say? I like the best."

When I was several bites into the salmon – which was as delicious as expected – Edward discreetly nodded to a pair of other patrons. Two men, executives of some sort, if I had to guess. "They think we're a newlywed couple. The man on the right estimates your age to be approximately twenty-five."

I nearly choked on a forkful of salmon. "Is that a good thing?"

Edward nodded eagerly. "You look very mature for your age. It helps that you're all dressed up. It can be a curse being eternally seventeen. I'm fortunate my mannerisms suggest I'm older than I appear. People are more likely to trust my body language than my face. These days, it's easy enough to find the fountain of youth with the right balance in your checking account. The waiter hasn't even thought to card us," he pointed out, gesturing to the bottle of wine that sat on our table in a bucket of ice.

Edward had grudgingly accepted a glass, toasting with me. It would hold no nutritional value to him, but his venom would evaporate it eventually.

"Are you suggesting you'd like for me to be eternally eighteen?" I asked coyly, hoping if I opened a dialogue, he'd tell me how he felt about it. Alice had told me why he didn't want me to know but if anyone could get him to break down that protective barrier, I was certain I could.

His expression hardened. "That is entirely up to you, Bella. I've told you before, I will be happy with whatever choice you deem most fitting for you. Don't forget you have a family who loves you. There's no rush, I'll be here, always."

"But you're a huge part of my life. I wouldn't want to do something that would make you unhappy. Don't you see? What I want is directly tied to what you do. I need to know how you feel to make an informed decision."

He sighed. I looked to him hopefully. "I would love for you to be as I am, Bella. Tomorrow, if I had my way. But that opinion is based on entirely selfish reasons. I've had a century to live for myself and satisfy all my selfish whims. Now I finally have a reason to be selfless. I don't care what I want. What I need is for you to be happy."

I closed the small distance between us, wrapping my arms around him and laying my head on his shoulder. "Thank you for telling me. Alice told me why you didn't want to and I understand but I had to know to make an educated choice. I promise I won't let it rule my decision. I know our relationship would be considered a whirlwind… we've known one another only a few months and been together even less time than that, but we're talking forever. I couldn't decide something like that without knowing how you felt."

He stroked my knee, his fingers gently fluttering under the satiny hem of my dress. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Eat your fish," he told me firmly, an undeniable smile ghosting his expression.

I did as I was bid, flaking a morsel of the fish onto my fork and slipping it in my mouth. Edward watched in fascination, his eyes darkening forebodingly. He squeezed my knee gently, slowly raising his fingers higher on my thigh. Something deep inside me coiled expectantly.

He did nothing more than place soft, barely noticeable, tantalizing caresses up and down my leg. I'd have barely known he was touching me if not for the cool temperature of his skin. I dropped my fork to the side of my plate, unable to concentrate on eating. Or anything but the hand on my thigh.

Silently, I pleaded for him to do what we both wanted. I didn't care if we were in a public place. The restaurant was dimly lit enough to conceal my flushed face. The tablecloth would conceal the rest. I knew I was rationalizing but I didn't care about much of anything right then except for feeling more.

Edward held out his fork, full of steak, to me with his free hand. Earlier, he'd meticulously cut it into bite sized pieces, in what I thought was part of a guise to pretend he was eating. Now I suspected ulterior motives, not that I minded.

"You should try this," he told me thickly, licking his lip. "It's very, very good."

I opened my mouth for him, wrapping my lips around his fork and matching his sultry expression. He swallowed hard, his fingers digging into my thigh beneath the table. Not hard enough to be painful, but enough to let me know I wasn't the only one affected. I pushed my hips forward in my chair ever so slightly, the silky fabric of my dress shifting around me. I shivered at the twin sensations of the silky material and Edward's hand playing against my now sensitive skin.

He touched my cheek gently. "What do you think?"

"It's very good," I told him truthfully. "I think I need more." I laced the final word with as much innuendo as my voice could hold. It was already strained with desire so it wasn't difficult.

Edward nodded diligently, pretending to understand. He retrieved another piece of steak from his plate. His darkened eyes let me know he was fully aware he was being antagonistic. He held out his fork to me. I shook my head minutely, reprimanding him.

"Eat. It'll make your… hunger go away." I swallowed hard at his tone. His voice oozed sex. There was no mistaking what he was promising.

I complied, opening my mouth slowly, not wanting to appear as overly eager as I was.

I was pleased to feel his fingers creep higher in response to my obedience. He softly stroked through the lace garment Alice had insisted I wear. I was never so thankful I'd given in to her inimitable peer pressure. The texture of the lace combined with Edward's cool fingers was so much more delicious than the steak. It was even better when he pushed them to the side.

It continued this way, him feeding me from his plate. For every bite I took, he rewarded me with delicate touches under the table. It might have been my imagination but it tasted better this way. It was a strange but decadent dichotomy, mingling food with touch. I could barely contain myself, only just managing to mask my irrepressible noises as enjoyment of the cuisine.

When one of Edward's fingers slipped inside me, I nearly convulsed in my seat, holding onto the ruse that he was feeding me by a very taut thread. I might have fisted the tablecloth, but I couldn't be sure, as all rational thought crumpled under the weight of pure want.

With practiced ease, he found the spot inside me that made me ache and writhe under him. I let him take control of the situation entirely, placing my all of my trust in his discretion.

He knew my limits. He knew I wasn't the kind of person who enjoyed exhibitionism. He wouldn't let me be embarrassed by this. He'd know… He'd know that… I struggled to complete the thought.

And then it didn't matter because the world disappeared and there was nothing left but delicious sensation.

When I finally opened my eyes again, Edward was leaning into me, kissing my neck and letting me float through the afterglow.

"All done," he told me, nodding to his now empty plate cheekily. I hadn't even noticed I'd eaten his entire entrée. He skimmed a finger down my warmed cheek. "You're so gorgeous right now. All pink and you smell delectable."

I giggled, pulling him into a kiss. "Thank you, it was delicious."

"You taste much better," he told me, sucking lightly on his finger, then wiping it off on the napkin. My already well exercised muscled clenched again at the sight.

I buried myself against his chest. "Do we have to make a quick escape, now?"

He shook his head. "The other patrons believe you were extremely pleased with your meal. Besides, we couldn't leave… dessert is yet to come."

"Well, that's a relief, I guess," I sighed, ignoring his comment about dessert. Right now, I was fully satiated in every possible way. I didn't think I could handle anymore.

Edward chuckled, looking at a woman seated several tables over. "Do you see her, the woman in red? She just asked her waitress what you were having. She was… inspired to order on the basis of your enjoyment of the dish."

I peeked out from where I was buried in Edward's suit jacket. "Ugh, I'm Sally!"

"As in _When Harry Met Sally_?" Edward smirked, obviously too pleased with himself to share in my mortification.

I nodded.

"She was faking it. You were not," he countered proudly, as if it made any difference.

"Well that makes it better then," I grumped, though it was a very half-hearted attempt. I wasn't feeling very grumpy at the moment, thanks to Edward's under the table ministrations. I was, however, feeling mildly uncomfortable with the sticky feeling left in the aftermath. "I think I need to head to the ladies room," I told Edward quietly.

He stood as I did, his hands automatically slipping to my hips to steady me. "Will you be okay to walk?" he asked doubtfully.

I didn't blame him. I was a catastrophe in heels on a good day. Combine that with rubber legs and watching me walk unsupported was bound to be worrisome.

"The floor is even in here. I can make it the forty feet to the bathroom. I hope," I muttered. "You can't very well follow me in there. If we both went into the ladies room, we'd draw more attention than just inquiries about the menu."

I made my way to the restroom and back without any incident. I was surprised to find Edward had disappeared from our table when I returned. I looked around, paranoid, unnecessarily worried that something had happened to him.

Until I spotted him sitting at the piano I hadn't paid much attention to before. It was situated only a few yards from our table on a slightly raised platform. Edward had replaced the middle-aged man who had been supplying a steady stream of soft, tinkling dinner music.

He was… incandescent sitting there beneath a smoky spotlight in his dark suit. He grinned at me, speaking softly into the microphone that sat atop the baby grand.

"I'd like to dedicate this song to someone I love very much. This song is for you, Bella."

Tears sprung to my eyes unbidden, as a string of melodic notes began to pour from the glossy instrument under Edward's command.

This was so much more than I'd ever expected of him. Or anyone. I'd never dared dream anyone would do something like this for _me_. These kind of grand gestures were reserved for movies and the rosy delusions of hopeless romantics. It was ridiculous that I was crying. This was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me.

Sometime in the middle of Edward's set the waiter set a massive slice of chocolate fudge cake down in front of me. I hardly noticed. My eyes were glued to the beautiful boy glowing under the spotlight.

I watched, captivated, as his fingers danced over ebony and ivory, letting the notes reverberate through me. The melody was soft and sweet at times, lively and energetic at others. I didn't recognize the song but it didn't matter; Edward was playing it for me.

I wondered why I'd never known he could play before. He was masterful, or so it seemed to my untrained ear. He played with an ethereal grace I was sure was as much him as natural vampiric ability.

Occasionally, he'd glance up from the keys, his eyes connecting with mine. Each and every time my grin widened a little a more. My face hurt from smiling so wide and my eyes strung with unshed tears but I'd never felt more special.

When he returned to our table several too short minutes later, I accosted him with a hug. "That was amazing," I gushed. "How come I've never heard you play before?"

He bashfully returned the embrace. "I haven't played since I was changed. Until tonight."

I stared at him, flabbergasted. "That was you ninety years out of practice?"

He shrugged noncommittally as if it was no big deal that he'd memorized a piece and played it immaculately on his first try. "I'd never really felt the desire to play after I was changed… until lately. Sometimes when I'm with you, music composes itself in my head," he explained. "I wanted you to be the first to hear it. As you know, Rosalie and Emmett ruined the Cullens' piano, so this seemed the best way."

"I'm sure Alice has already ordered a replacement. I hope she has, because I definitely want a repeat of that performance."

If my torn mattress had driven her to action, surely a broken piano warranted a replacement as well. I hoped so, because there was no way Edward was getting away with not doing that again.

"I'm sure she has," he agreed, fully aware of Alice's love of online shopping. "And I'd love to. Any time you'd like a private show, just ask. If Alice doesn't replace the piano, I will."

"Wait a second," I said as our conversation caught up with me. "You said that you've been composing music. Composing, not memorizing. Did you write that piece?"

Now he looked really shy, his eyes downcast with embarrassment. "Yes? I wrote it for you," he explained quickly. "If you didn't like it, I can play anything you'd like, provided I've heard it before. I am a little out of practice as you've said. Perhaps I should have adhered to classical standards."

I placed my hands on either side of his face, urging him to look at me. He did, reluctantly. "It was amazing. I can't believe you wrote that, or that you used me for inspiration. Don't doubt yourself, please. I can't believe you don't know how amazing that was."

"We hear differently," he explained. "Every minute flaw of a piece – in timing, sound quality, pitch – is amplified. I haven't played in decades. My memories of doing so are extremely foggy, mostly consisting of my mother teaching me to play. I remember enjoying it but not much else. While I don't remember ever being very good, I knew how to play innately. I assume I was quite accomplished prior to my change. Still, a practiced human and a practiced vampire represent two very different sound qualities."

"Well, to this human it sounded perfect. Don't deconstruct it for me. I just want to revel in how lucky I am to be here with you tonight."

He nodded to the cake I'd yet to touch. "Are you going to eat your cake? I hear death by chocolate is, well, to die for. Human females certainly seemed to have developed a rather intense crutch for it."

I grabbed my dessert fork, scooping up a small piece of the confection, not wanting to disappoint him by rejecting it, even though I was already full. It was rich and delicious.

"It's really good," I told him. "You don't remember ever having tasted chocolate?"

He shook his head. "It was a rare treat when I was growing up. I wouldn't have had it often and I don't remember any instances that I did."

It struck me as sad that he couldn't remember chocolate. I kissed him lightly, so he'd taste the chocolate on my lips. "What do you think?"

He smirked. "As far as human food goes, it tastes alright. I think you've skewered the results with your methods, though. You make anything taste bearable."

I didn't finish my cake. I'd already eaten all of Edward's steak and several bites of my salmon so I didn't feel too badly about it.

Edward let me take my time eating the portion I did. I knew I was prolonging the inevitable end of the night. For a date I hadn't wanted to go on in the first place, it had turned out spectacularly, easily placing amongst the most memorable nights of my life.

Eventually, I could delay no longer. Having paid the check and thanked the staff for allowing him to commandeer their piano – to which they responded he was welcome to play any time, and offered him a gig for several nights a week, if he was interested – Edward helped me to my feet.

"I'm kind of sad to leave," I admitted to Edward as he led me out the door, his guiding hands ever in place. "This was a lot of fun. Surprisingly."

"See? You should listen to me more–" He cut himself off abruptly, his posture stiffening into a sharp line, a loud growl rumbling in his chest. He pushed me gently behind him but remained holding onto one of my hands.

His eyes darted around us, looking for something. What exactly, I wasn't sure.

"Edward? What's going–"

"Bella, please," he begged, utter terror in his voice. I quieted instantly, my own fear rising in pitch to meet his. Something was wrong. I didn't know what.

"Get in the car," he commanded, hastily adding a "please" to soften the blow.

Hurriedly, he helped me into my seat. Not bothering to pretend to move at a human pace, he rounded the car in an instant, quickly settling in the seat next to me. Within a second he'd thrown the car in gear and we were roaring down the tiny side street towards the highway that would take us home.

I turned to him; his actions were making me afraid. Not of him, but that he thought we were somehow in danger. He was radiating panic. I'd never seen him act like this and it was a terrifying sight to behold. He held the steering wheel in a vice grip, his eyes on a repeated circuit, looking out the windows and in the mirrors for the inexplicable menace.

"Edward, please," I begged, unable to suppress my need to understand what was happening, even through the compressing fear. "Tell what's wrong."

He was either ignoring me, or was too busy to bother responding. He'd retrieved his cell phone from his pocket and was tapping at the keypad at a frenetic speed.

Only when I touched his arm was I able to snap him from his frenzied trance. His eyes shot to mine. "Edward?"

His lips hardened into a grim line. "It's going to be okay," he vowed, even though he had yet to explain what had him in such a state in the first place. "I'll keep you safe. I promise you. You don't need to worry." He glanced down at his phone. "We'll be home in – shit." He made a hasty turnoff into a nearly empty parking lot and slammed on the brakes.

Before I could blink, he was opening my door and pulling me into his arms.

"We're going to have to run the rest of the way," he gestured for me to climb onto his back. It was more than a little awkward in heels, but I complied not wanting to upset him any further. The moment he was sure I was secure, we were flying, the darkness of night covering us like a blanket.

"Alice?" Edward said into the phone, having given up texting for the moment. "We'll be there in ten minutes."

xx

_Not sure when I expect the next chapter to be, but not too long. Until then… let me know what you think? We're getting close to 400 reviews, which is all sorts of awesome, so thank you._


	28. Panic

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing. _

_**Chapter: **__Twenty-eight; Panic_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_**AN: **__The response to the last chapter was overwhelming in the best way. Thank you to everyone who took the time to review and push this fic over the 400 mark. I appreciate every single one of them and I swear, your comments really are the fuel keeping this fic moving forward. There's been an influx of new readers lately, if you found this story through a rec or something, let me know so I can send out the appropriate thanks :)_

_Another thanks to Fates-Love-Queen who created a lovely banner for this fanfic :) It's linked on my profile, if you'd like to see it._

_Also an enduring thanks to Jana, who continues to beta, I hope you know how lost I'd be without you, even if I don't always say it :)_

_To those of you who enjoyed the two-part quick update last time, you're in luck, because you're going to get a repeat. This is part one of a chapter than ended up being far longer than I intended._

xx

"I'm kind of sad to leave," Bella told me, leaning into me as we made our way to the Vanquish. I was glad Alice had insisted heels were the only suitable shoes; I loved having Bella's soft, warm weight against my side. "This was a lot of fun. Surprisingly."

I repressed a smile, knowing I'd never convince her it was something we should do again if I was too self-righteous about it. "See? You should listen to me more–"

All thought stopped there, panic racing through me like a shot as James' distinctive scent overwhelmed my senses.

Just James. Not Victoria's. He was alone. That was of little consolation. Even without his mate, James would be difficult to subdue if I was protecting Bella.

Instinct dictated I position myself in front of her. If he was still in the vicinity, she would be the easier target. Roughly, I shoved her behind me. I felt horrible for manhandling her delicate form but dwelling on that was not an option. I needed to be alert if I wanted to preserve both of our lives. I kept a hold of her hand, hoping it would be enough to comfort her, while my mind raced to come up with a plan.

James had been watching us. Listening at the very least. His scent was a thick fog in the air. He'd spent no small amount of time in the vicinity, spying, gathering information, biding his time, all while I was oblivious. I hated that I hadn't noticed.

He had to have known we were inside the adjacent building. There was no other possibility. He'd followed me, even into the over-populated metropolis he hated so much.

He disliked urban areas because they complicated his gift; his senses were overloaded with layers upon layers of scent and sound that frustrated his tracking instincts. His sense of smell was multiple times more powerful than a typical vampire's, his tracker's nose able to detect small nuances far beyond my comprehension. I'd seen enough of his mind in the brief flashes when it was unprotected to know not to underestimate his abilities.

He'd know I'd walked past the building even if hours had since elapsed. He'd know I'd been walking with a human girl. He'd know enough about the nature of our intertwined scents to deduce exactly what he could do to crush my world. He'd know Bella _was_ my world. And I didn't have the slightest clue what to do about it.

I glanced around us into the darkened alleys, praying I wouldn't catch sight of the familiar blond ponytail. Not now, not when I had Bella to think about. I couldn't protect her and deal with James at the same time.

I pressed my gift to its limits, trying my damnedest to catch even the most minute hint of his mind's frequency but came back empty, unable to locate even the slightest hum of his protected mind. In the past, that might have reassured me but not now. How had I not heard him when he _was_ here? Had I been so engaged in entertaining Bella that I'd carelessly let my senses lapse to the point I had put our lives at risk?

"Edward? What's going–"

"Bella, please," I urged, still scanning the landscape for a trace of my former coven mate.

She silenced instantly, a frightened frown marring her beautiful face. I ignored the pang that lashed at me for being responsible for that look.

"Get in the car, please," I demanded, catching my harsh tone mid-sentence and softening it. I tried to dampen my fear along with it. I had to be strong for her. Bella needed me to be unafraid.

Without waiting for a response, I scooped her into my arms and crossed the few remaining paces to the Vanquish.

I strapped her into her seat tenderly, not wanting her to think I was upset with her. I pressed a hasty kiss to her hair in apology before retreating to the driver's side in a flash. Moving at the appropriate human pace for a public space wasn't an option right now. I had other things to worry about that took priority. It was dark enough and late enough onlookers would likely blame the drinks that they'd been served with dinner.

I slid the car in gear, sending the Vanquish flying out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell. The further removed we were from the scene, the better.

The second we hit the road, I snatched my phone out of my jacket pocket, shooting Alice a quick explanatory text. How had she not had the foresight to warn me of this? She had promised me she would keep a vigilant eye on James and Victoria.

Had James somehow figured out a way to evade her gift?

I banished the thought, not wanting to dwell on the end to which it would serve James to hide from Alice… or how he'd known about Alice in the first place. I'd thought my one sure advantage would be the knowledge I possessed that he did not. Now that was up in the air. I had no way of knowing what he'd learned.

My phone beeped obnoxiously.

_I know. Hurry back. We'll deal with the situation when you get here._

I scoffed at the utter lack of help. Did she truly expect me to place Bella's safety on hold for an hour or more while I raced to return to Forks as fast as the Vanquish would allow?

_Fuck, Alice! Now is not the time to be vague! Are we in immediate danger? Should I leave the car? Give me something!_

It only took a few moments for Alice's responding text to reach my phone.

_Just get Bella here. We'll be safest when we're all together._

That was even less help than the previous text. I shot back a hasty message, including enough exclamation points to make a teenage girl cringe.

_Tell me what you know right this _instant!_ I'm not waiting a fucking hour! James could be following my car as we speak! He was watching us from outside the goddamn restaurant and I was oblivious. If you saw something, tell me whatever the fuck it is that you think you're sparing me! NOW! I mean it, Alice!_

Alice's response came through an instant after I pressed send.

_Jesus! I didn't mean to wake the beast. I can't see James' decisions exactly. I've been trying but it's just… nothing right now. Empty. That's it. Victoria's off the map also. That's why we're waiting until you get home to figure out what we're going to do._

Well, fuck. That certainly complicated things… and confirmed the theory that James had found some way of eluding Alice's gift… and an even better way of evading mine. That meant he could be out there somewhere and I'd have no way of knowing it until he was on top of us.

Bella touched my arm. In my haste to get her to safety, I'd foregone reassuring her. I cursed myself for being a shitty excuse for a boyfriend, promising that I'd be better, that I'd make it up to her once we were safe.

My eyes met her worried ones, full of abject fear. Her eyes were huge and child-like in the dark, more pupil than the warm brown I was used to. It only served to amplify how afraid she appeared. The part of me that detested seeing my mate afraid responded violently.

"It's going to be okay. I'll keep you safe," I told her firmly, trying to infuse my voice with as much certainty as I could given the circumstances. It wouldn't serve any purpose for her to be frightened when I wasn't even sure what we were up against yet. "I promise you. You don't need to worry. We'll be home in–" I glanced down at my phone, even as I continued to reassure Bella. "Shit!"

_Hello, Edward… miss me?_

That definitely wasn't Alice.

The number wasn't listed, but I was fairly certain I knew who was behind the deceptively innocent words. I ignored it, shoving the phone into my pants pocket. I would deal with it later, once Bella and I had reached relative safety.

Hastily, I made an awkward turnoff into a somewhat deserted parking lot.

If James was following us – and it seemed very likely he was on the basis of that text – we were less safe in the car than on foot. I could outrun James, even while carrying Bella. I couldn't prevent him from overtaking my car.

I rushed to open Bella's door and pull her from the car. Her seatbelt was a torn casualty in my haste. The part of me that wanted to mourn the possibility that my car would be destroyed even further the next time I saw it was easily squashed. Bella and I were both safe for now. That was enough. It would always be enough.

"We're going to have to run the rest of the way," I explained to her, helping her climb onto my back and wrap her legs around my waist. Her fingers held my shoulders in a vice grip. I let her, knowing she was keeping me close the only way she could.

She nodded wordlessly, placing her life in my hands with absolute trust. I'd never loved her more. I'd never been more sure of the presence of some higher power somewhere out there in the universe. This beautiful creature did not deserve to have her life ended at the hands of a maniacal vampire. There was another plan for her, there had to be.

Confidence renewed, I sped up my stride, pushing myself to the limit.

Punching the first speed dial number on my phone, I spoke into the speakerphone.

"Alice? We'll be there in ten minutes." I hung up the phone, not bothering to wait for a response.

"Edward?" Bella whispered into my neck, her breath hot on my skin. I shivered despite myself. "Are you going to tell me what's going on now?"

I tightened my hold on her. I knew she deserved to know but it went against every protective instinct I had.

"It's James," I responded quietly, not wanting to raise her alarm by appearing distressed. "He was outside the restaurant while we were in there. And I didn't notice." I forced down the self-flagellation that threatened to swell. I needed to focus on Bella. "We don't know what he's planning. Alice can't see anything. We're heading to the Cullens' now." I left out the ominous text I had received.

Her exhale was shaky against my neck, her fingers clutching even more desperately at me. "Are we in danger?"

I felt helpless, not knowing how to answer that. I opted for a truth that avoided the question. "I'm faster than James. He won't be able to touch us, not before we reach the Cullens."

She laid her head on my shoulder, seeming to relax with that information. "They love you, Edward. We'll be okay. With them on our side, we'll be okay."

I smiled at the irony that she was reassuring me. We were in the middle of chaos, running for our lives, and Bella had the courage to push aside all her doubts to tell me everything was going to be fine. I hadn't realized just how much I needed to hear it.

xx

"Thank God!" Alice greeted us with a fierce hug on the outskirts of the Cullen property. Her small arms wound tightly around me and Bella, who was still on my back. "The two of you terrified me! Edward, don't you ever hang up on me in the middle of a crisis again!"

"I hope you don't foresee us enduring too many more crises," I deadpanned, sarcasm overriding how glad I was to see her.

Inside, relief crashed through me, a tidal wave washing away the panic that had been building to a painful crescendo. Suddenly the little too-well-kept secrets Alice harboured didn't seem as significant. She was going to help me keep Bella safe.

The entire family had congregated in the living room awaiting our arrival. Even Rosalie had put aside her usual distain for me to hold vigil with the group. She sat at the periphery of the room, but there was no doubting the genuine concern for her family that her thoughts held.

I held Bella against my side, not daring to separate from her, even amongst friends. There was a general feeling of unease amongst the group. Even Emmett's usual jovial attitude had disappeared, sobering solemnity left in its wake.

"Tell me what I can do," he implored. "How can I help?" His hands fisted at his sides, thoughts of him crushing a generic but scrawny blond vampire into pieces floating through his mind. I smiled at his horribly unflattering representation of James. Even at the lowest moments, Emmett had a way of making the world a little more entertaining.

"Emmett," Carlisle chastised gently, knowing exactly where Emmett's thoughts had gone. "This is not something that we want to rush into imprudently. Talking first. Alice?" He turned to his daughter. "Where do we stand as of this moment?"

Alice looked pained. "I don't know. I'm sorry. I've been straining to see James or Victoria but I can't. They're always difficult to see. I can usually get sparse flashes if I concentrate… but tonight, it's like they've fallen off the map."

"I couldn't hear James at all, either," I added. "Usually he and Victoria have a noticeable hum. I only found his scent, though, so he might have been out of range by the time I realized he had been there."

"Are we sure they're still alive?" Jasper interjected reasonably. "If neither of your gifts could locate them… maybe they aren't there to locate. Might they have done something to incur the wrath of the Volturi? That might explain what James' scent was doing in Seattle. The Volturi have allies in most major American cities."

I shook my head. "The scent was fresh. An hour old at most. It's unlikely that something happened in that time. Also while Bella and I were on way back here," I dug my phone from my pocket, "I believe James sent me something." I showed them the text.

Alice sucked in a breath. "I'm not an expert but I know James better than anyone else here, with the exception of Edward. That does sound like something he'd say. Nothing is ever straight-forward with him. Playing games is what he does."

Jasper materialized at her side with an open laptop in his hands. "Give me the number. I'll attempt to hack into the phone records. I might be able to find some sort of billing receipt."

Alice shook her head, dejected. "Unlisted."

"Give me Edward's number then, I'll look into his phone records. I might be able to dig up some information on the caller that way." Obediently, Alice recited the digits, the worried crease between her eyes a permanent fixture.

Bella cuddled deeper into my side. "I don't like this Edward."

I kissed her head consolingly. For once, I didn't know what to say. There was no way to make things better without resorting to empty promises I might not be able to keep.

Esme stepped in for me, grasping Bella's hand reassuringly; the recent events had her maternal instincts charged full force. "Don't panic, darling. There's more of us then there are of them. No one is going to touch you or Edward."

"Esme's right," Carmen seconded. "You and your Edward will be safe with family. There is strength in numbers. Do not be afraid."

"I'm not worried about me," she said in a small voice. "It's obvious that they want Edward. He's the one in danger. I'd just be collateral."

I shook my head in disbelief. "And that doesn't worry you? It worries me! Bella, if they captured you, I would do anything they asked of me. Anything. If they're aware I've chosen you as my mate, you're in as much danger as I am. Perhaps more. They won't kill me because my gift is worth something to them. They might kill you if they feel they no longer have a use for you."

Esme slapped my head, her thoughts verging just short of murderous. "Edward," she hissed between gritted teeth, "do not talk like that in my house. Talking about the worst case scenario is not going to help anyone. No one is getting killed, captured, maimed, or otherwise injured under my watch."

I rubbed the spot she had hit, remorseful. Bella, kissed my cheek.

"Got it!" Jasper exclaimed, his head popping up from behind his laptop triumphantly. Everyone turned to him expectantly. Waiting on pins and needles hadn't done good for anyone's mood. Even the short wait for Jasper to dredge up information had been agonizing.

"It was definitely James who texted you. The phone is registered to James Witherdale. I've managed to locate the number as well. There's several other calls but nothing I recognize. Should we try returning his call?"

"I'm not sure that's a wise idea," Carlisle said, rubbing a hand over his face tiredly. "If he hears any of us in the background and it turns out that he's unaware we've allied with Edward, we may be handing over information to him."

"What do you suggest, then?" Jasper glared at his father. "We don't have very many options here. Would you prefer we sit around inactive and wait for him to come to us?"

"Would that be so bad?" Emmett smirked. "We'd have home field advantage. If they try to impede on our territory, we'll show them what we're made of. If those fuckers are stupid enough to think they can take on all of us, they deserve whatever they get." He crossed his arms menacingly.

Rosalie raised an arched eyebrow at the testosterone-fueled display. She wondered longingly, for the briefest moment, what those arms would feel like wrapped around her before a wall of thought meant to shut me out came crashing down. She glared at me, her feigned indifference returning with no small effort on her part.

"No fighting, please," Alice begged. "We're all on the same side. Jasper, I think Carlisle is right. I have a feeling about this. We should wait for him to contact us again. And Emmett, provoking James into a fight isn't going to help anything. We want this to be resolved as peacefully as possible. Violence is a last resort."

"I don't think you grasp what James is capable of, Emmett," Eleazar chimed in calmly. "If for some reason he is able to evade us – and with his mate's ability, that isn't terribly unlikely – we do not want him holding a vendetta against our family. He can be ruthless."

Eleazar's thoughts were carefully guarded so as not to reveal anything regarding how he'd come across this information.

"How would you know what James is capable of? And how do you know about Victoria's ability?" I wondered suspiciously, clutching Bella tighter to me. If Eleazar had past connections with James, I wasn't sure I trusted his help.

In my experience James' preferred associates tended to be thugs nearly as merciless as the man himself. They never lasted beyond the newborn stage. If Eleazar was an ex-associate of James', I shuddered to think of the things he'd seen and done and what would have possessed James to leave him with his life intact. I hadn't taken Eleazar or Carmen for those kind of people, but I didn't want to rule out any possibility.

"I don't know him very well," Eleazar explained carefully; a little too carefully. "A friend and I had a territorial dispute with him a very long time ago. That dispute left a lasting impression. That's why Carlisle invited me to stay with the family these past few months. He felt my experience with James might be beneficial." I sensed there was more to it than that though I had no idea what it might be, so I said nothing.

"What we need is direction," Carlisle insisted. "Since we don't know what James' next move will be, we need to prepare for all possibilities."

He laid a hand on Alice's shoulder at her stricken expression, squeezing lightly. Her thoughts were a horrible muddled mess of guilt and confusion. She felt she'd let down her family with her gift's impotency when it mattered most.

"First thing's first. Give me the phone," Alice demanded, sinking into the couch. Jasper did so immediately, looking slightly smug. Alice rolled her eyes at her mate. "I love you, but no. I'm calling Charlie. There's no way Bella is going home tonight. It's sleepover time."

We all sat in perfect silence while Alice and Charlie settled matters. I had to hand it to Alice, she was a fortress under pressure; her casual façade was flawless. Charlie accepted her lies without question.

The moment she hung up the phone, the weight of indecision fell on the room once again.

"Okay," Alice sat up straighter, her attitude rejuvenated somewhat by the progress she'd made settling matters with Charlie. "Bella's safety is arranged. Now let's figure out what to do about James."

Carlisle nodded, sitting down next to her. "I hate to put any pressure on you, however, you've been witness to James and Victoria's behaviour over the last months, more so than any of us. Have you seen anything that might suggest what course of action we should take?"

Alice shook her head. "Nothing. Up until yesterday, I was positive that Edward, James and Victoria would be able to resolve their differences peacefully. That doesn't appear to be the case any longer. James is easier to read than Victoria, usually… my visions of her are next to nonexistent. The last time I saw him was three days ago. He and Edward were talking in a wooded area. It wasn't very clear and there was no indication that would give me a timeline. I'm sorry."

Esme kneeled before her daughter, grasping both her hands. "It's okay sweetheart. We'll figure this out as a family."

Alice exhaled shakily, biting her lip in frustration. "I know that we will. I do. I just wish I could help more. Edward did so much for me when I was a newborn. If it weren't for him, I might not be alive now."

I sat across from Alice on the coffee table, bringing Bella with me. I still wasn't ready to be parted from her. "I did that because you're my friend and I care about you. There's no debt to repay, so stop thinking that way."

Alice rolled her eyes, punching me in the shoulder. I fought back a whimper. She was more fearsome than she looked. "You dumbass, I'm not doing anything out of obligation. You're my brother and I love you. I _want_ to help."

Bella laughed. "You were kind of asking for that one."

My retort died in my throat as my phone vibrated in my pocket. I caught sight of Alice's expression. Without checking, I knew it was from James. I flipped open the phone, reading it anyway.

_I'm waiting, Edward. You know patience isn't my thing._

"What does that mean?" Alice asked. "He's waiting for what?"

I shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. James gets a kick out of being as ambiguous and nonsensical as possible. It's a part of his game. Should I reply?"

My phone was passed around, everyone taking their turn reading the message and offering their suggestions and theories.

It was then that I heard it. It was the equivalent of a whisper. He was easily three or four miles away, but there was no mistaking it. James was pushing his thoughts towards me.

_Oh for fuck's sake, Edward. Are you going to hang out under the protection of your babysitters for the next century? All I want to do is talk. The two of us. Alone. We can be nice, civilized vampires, can't we?_

It sounded strange to my ears. Never before had James willingly lowered his shield to communicate through thought. Only in moments of intense anger had his guard lowered to the point I could get a read on him.

Hearing his internal voice in a calm, collected state was foreign; I almost wished for the normal droning buzz I was used to hearing from him. Given the current circumstances, it made me feel ill knowing that James' thoughts were inside of my head and there was nothing I could do to stop him from putting them there.

"James," I whispered, freezing. It took most of my concentration to focus on the tenor of his mind, he was so far away. I couldn't make out any landmarks that would give away a location. All that surrounded him were trees. Victoria was nowhere to be seen.

Bella touched my face, alarmed. "Edward? Are you okay? Baby, tell me what's wrong."

"I'm fine," I told her, straining to keep track of James' mental signature. "I can hear James. He's letting me in. He's alone, up north somewhere, three or four miles away, maybe slightly more. It's hard to get a read, he's so far away."

"Are you guys going to go confront him?"

"If we did that, more likely than not, he'd run. That's not what we want right now," Alice explained on my behalf. She looked to me anxiously, her foot tapping out a nervous rhythm. It was disconcerting for her to be without her visions when she needed them most; she felt as if she'd lost a vital part of her anatomy. "We're going to have to wait to see what he wants." Waiting wasn't something she was accustomed to doing very often.

"He wants to talk to me," I told her. James had already made it clear what he wanted. There was no point in holding back the information. "I don't sense any insincerity in his countenance but he's typically very skilled at keeping his thoughts from me."

I pressed my lips together, wishing I didn't have to talk about this in front of Bella, knowing it would worry her. Yet, I was too selfish to let her leave my side. Wariness and the need for contact lingered, a result of our earlier scare. I had a feeling she felt the same way.

Though I knew there would be protestation, meeting James' simple demand seemed like the safest, easiest way to resolve the conflict; the only way at the moment. I was the reason everyone was in this dreadful situation. It only seemed right that the responsibility of digging us out from under its weight should fall on my shoulders. I was determined to keep Bella out of it at all costs. I abhorred the thought of leaving her side, even if only long enough to talk to James. If it would keep him away from her, it would be worth the sacrifice.

"He wishes to speak to me alone."

Just as I expected, Bella clutched my arm tighter, the fingers of her free hand twisting the hem of her dress, her worry evident without words. The look in her warm brown eyes almost made me regret the decision to volunteer to confront James on my own.

Alice saw my decision before I could articulate the thought. She shook her head definitively. "No," she said mulishly. "God only knows what he intends to do to you once he has you alone. You can't go out there alone. It could be a death trap."

Bella looked relieved that she didn't have to be the one to raise the objection, but her agreement was clear in the worried lines on her beautiful face. "Edward, please. Listen to Alice."

"The girls are right, sweetheart," Esme said, jumping on to the stop-being-an-idiot-Edward bandwagon that had replaced the living room. "It's not safe. Without Alice's ability to see James' decisions, we'd have no way of knowing if or when we need to step in. James is a disturbed individual. There's no telling what's on his mind. We're sticking together. We're taking James down, _together_."

Emmett smirked. "That's the spirit, Mama C. It's not fair for Edward to hog all the action."

_For God's fucking sake, Edward. I'm asking for ten goddamn minutes of your precious human-loving time. Stop being a fucking pussy and get out here. Without the fucking security detail. I need to talk to your ass. That's all. Scout's ass-fucking honour._

I scowled, knowing I was running out of time. The longer I made James wait, the angrier he'd get. James was not pleasant to deal with when he wasn't in a good mood. It was strange to even consider the possibility that James had good moods. Historically, his moods ranged on a spectrum from annoyed but mildly tolerant in perfect circumstances to pissed and not at all tolerant given any circumstances. The closer we remained to the former, the better.

"He just wants to talk," I said levelly. "He won't hurt me if he thinks there's something I have that's of use to him. That gives me an edge. He might be ruthless but he's not stupid. He won't risk killing me."

"While that might be true," Carlisle input, "we shouldn't underestimate what he is willing to do if he does not get his way. We should proceed with extreme caution."

"Isn't this kind of like negotiating with a terrorist?" Bella commented wildly, turning worried eyes on me. "If you give in to him over this issue, he'll take it as an invitation to walk all over you."

Jasper nodded. "That's a very apt analogy. I know James' type. First and foremost he operates under threat. Resorting to violence is a secondary power play. If he doesn't get what he wants, neither will anyone else."

Bella's nails dug into the stone of my forearm. "Please, Edward. If everyone says it's not safe..."

"They don't know James like I do," I whispered, tilting her face, forcing her to look at me. "You stay here with the Carlisle and Alice. You'll be safe."

"I'm not worried about me," she spat, her eyes fierce with determination. "I'm worried about you! You're the one he wants. Please Edward, for me, don't go."

"I am doing this for you," I vowed. "With James and Victoria out of our lives, you'll be safe. The risk is worth the reward if it means I can shed my past."

I stroked her hair from her face, hoping to soothe her. I could tell she still didn't like the idea, but she looked calmer. Her eyes were massive watery pools of brown. I looked away, knowing if I didn't my resolve would crumble.

"I don't like it."

"Neither do I!"

I glared at Alice. She shot back an equally defiant look. This wasn't about her. She was only going to rile Bella up and make her needlessly afraid.

"Lucky this isn't up to you, then," I grumbled. "James wants me. If we all charge out there, he'll run. If we wait, we're only prolonging the inevitable. I'll be cautious."

"At the very least let one of us trail you from a distance," Jasper compromised. "We'll keep out of the way, unless it becomes a necessity."

"I call it!"

Emmett shrugged sheepishly when everyone turned to look at him. "What? This is the most excitement I've seen since I was in Italy at the same time the Romanians were. I'm sure as hell not getting benched. I'm getting courtside tickets, baby."

Rosalie sniffed indignantly. She thought Emmett was being stupid and naïve volunteering to be my "guard dog."

Emmett turned to her with a raised eyebrow. "Look, Rosie, I want to be with you, I do. With everything I am. But this is something you're wrong about. Edward is a good guy. He really is. He doesn't deserve to have this bastard on his ass. You can do nothing if you want. That's fine. I won't judge. But I am not the kind of person who lets my friends go without support when it's in my power to help. If that's what you want from me… well… too fucking bad."

Outwardly, Rosalie growled and gave him the finger. Inwardly… I think I witnessed what could only be termed a mental swoon. No one had ever turned her down with such blatant disregard and it turned her on. For someone used to getting her way, Emmett presented an interesting challenge. She was confused about the sudden rush of feelings for him and she abhorred that they weren't rational.

I fought back a chuckle. Seeing the unflappable Rosalie out of her element because she was lusting after Emmett and was unsure what to make of it was unintentionally hilarious.

_Get out of my head, asshole!_

A wall of thought – a barrage of imagery from a graphic gay pornographic film, intended to punish me for the perceived slight, I'm sure – crashed down between us with the intensity of a runaway freight train. Little did she know I'd seen much worse with more frequency than I cared to recall.

"Edward?" Carlisle asked, when it was clear Rosalie and Emmett had nothing further to say to one another. "Are you amenable to Jasper's suggestion?"

I sighed, knowing they wouldn't accept anything less. I recognized that they thought they were helping but, realistically, they were only complicating matters. If James caught wind I'd brought backup against his express orders, things could very easily escalate and turn ugly. If they kept down wind, the chances of James realizing they were there were minimal but I didn't want to gamble with something so crucial. Still, it seemed I was running out of time and choices.

"Fine," I agreed grudgingly. "As long as you stay a couple miles downwind of us and keep quiet."

Jasper frowned. "Miles? That's impossible. No one would be able to hear you from that distance. We might as well all remain here."

"James has stronger senses than any of us. He'd hear you if you ventured too close," I explained. "It would defeat the purpose. What if Alice accompanies Emmett? She'll be able to monitor my decisions so we can keep in contact."

Jasper looked to his mate reluctantly. He didn't like the thought of her being a part of the front line in a potential fight with James. He'd waited even longer than I had to find his mate and the thought of losing her terrified him to his core. His fear was strong enough to spread briefly across the room.

Alice sprung up, wrapping her arms around his waist, knowing exactly where his thoughts were. "Don't be a worrywart, Jazz," she said lightly, kissing his chin. "Even if Victoria shows up, it'll be three against two."

He squeezed her tightly, thinking affectionately of his "little firecracker." "You'll probably take 'em down before we get there… but promise me you'll call us the second you see something worrisome? Anything at all?"

She nodded, grinning lovingly at him. "Promise."

Since Alice and the other Cullens seemed to be appeased with the solution, there was only one person left whose opinion mattered to me. "If Emmett and Alice trail behind as an added precaution, will it lessen your worry?" I asked Bella.

She laid her head on my shoulder, lolling her head to look up at me. "No, but it's out of my hands, isn't it?"

I stroked her hair. I'd touched it so often throughout the night, it had lost most of the wave Alice had wrangled into it, but she still looked gorgeous. Maybe even more than before. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I wish I'd dealt with all this before I'd met you."

"I don't." Her voice was barely above a whisper, but her words were strong. "I'm glad I can be here for you. It scares the hell out of me, but as long as you come back… everything will be okay. I know it will."

"This is just something I have to do."

"I know." She kissed me lightly.

_Fucking asshole. It's like you're ignoring me. I don't like being ignored. Or are you working up the balls to venture out on your own away from mommy and daddy? I'm not going to wait all day, Assward._

I sighed inwardly at James' characteristic impatience, wishing I could respond from the comfortable space I currently occupied, next to Bella. He'd ventured slightly closer, unsure if he'd been outside of my range before. He was still surrounded by forest, but his mental voice was stronger.

It was time to face the music.

xx

_Expect part two in a few days. In the meantime… there's a little blue link below just calling your name ;)_


	29. Suspicion

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and smexin'. _

_**Chapter: **__Twenty-nine; Suspicion_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_**AN: **__And here it is, part two. I think this one has many of the answers and things a lot of you have been waiting for. A lot of it played out differently than I expected, so it took longer to get here than I planned, but we're here now. That's what counts, right?_

_As always thank you to everyone who takes the time to comment. The continued positivity astounds me. Also thanks to Jana, who has been an amazing sounding board and is half the force that keeps this fic going forward (without her, it would probably be long since abandoned). If you haven't already, you should check out her WIP Harvest Moon. It's another vamp AU, in a similar what-if vein as this fic :) _

xx

It didn't take long to find James.

He'd relocated once again while Alice and the others had been hammering out logistics, meticulously planning out who would be where and when. I recognized his surroundings immediately. The grass was turning brown from the nightly frosts but it was unmistakable.

I found him sitting in one of the trees on the outskirts of Bella's meadow, a cigarette hanging from his smirking lips. He was the picture of callous indifference.

Victoria was nowhere in sight, nor could I hear her anywhere nearby. I thanked my lucky stars for that fact. Dealing with James alone promised to be cataclysmic enough.

James' thoughts were, for the first time in my recollection, completely open to me. He made absolutely no effort to hide them, for which I was glad. The more he underestimated the usefulness of my ability, the better.

He nodded to the flattened, browning grass where Bella and I had spent so many afternoons, carelessly flicking ash from his cigarette onto the browned grass. A small part of him hoped the little embers would spark a fire. Like most vampires, raging flames weren't something he liked being near, but he relished destruction (particularly of a place precious to me) more.

It still smelled like us. James thought so, too. To him, the smell was much more potent. "So this is where you entertain your little human slut, huh? It reeks of you." He wrinkled his nose in disgust. "And her. She smells like overripe, over-processed strawberries. No wonder you haven't drained her yet."

I fisted my hands at my side, knowing if I showed any outward signs of aggression, I would be rising to the bait. "What do you want James? Why did you ask me to meet you here?"

James rolled his eyes and puffed out a breath of smoke, peering down at me. "Why the bad mood, Edward? Whatever happened to pleasantries? Didn't your mommy teach you better?"

Despite his complaints that I'd kept him waiting too long, he was messing with me, playing the mischievous, coy games he enjoyed so much. He was in a good mood. At least that meant he was probably unaware of Alice and Emmett lurking in the shadows, just beyond the reach of his heightened senses.

"My mother has nothing to do with this."

I swung myself up into the tree adjacent to James. There was no way I was letting him look down at me with smug superiority. We were going to have this conversation on equal footing, whether he wanted to or not.

"My bad. You're right. Let's talk about your girlfriend." He sneered at me. "Or should I say your little whore? This place reeks like pussy."

I fought down the wash of anger and embarrassment, remembering that the last time Bella and I had been here, had been the first time we'd crossed an intimate boundary under a pile of blankets. Of course James would detect that; his sense of smell wasn't thwarted by the nearly daily rain showers.

"Shut up," I hissed. "You don't know what you're talking about."

James chortled gleefully, spewing smoke and hate. "Oh, I think I do. You've gotten sweet on the little human. Isabella Swan." He spat her name venomously. I growled, unable to stop the automatic reaction to hearing Bella's name on his lips. "Maggie was never enough for you. I should have suspected something was wrong with you. Mating with a fucking human. At least you haven't fucked her yet."

I gritted my teeth, refraining from punching him, just. He claimed to be able to distinguish virgins from the sexually experienced by scent alone. I hated that he'd ever been close enough to Bella to make the distinction. My nails dug into the flesh of my palms with the effort of not bashing in his smug face.

"What. Do. You. Want? If all you've got is unnecessary commentary about my life, I'm out of here." I moved as if to leave, knowing that was likely the last thing he wanted.

He shook his head as if I was amusing him greatly. "You think I give a shit what you choose to do with your fucking dick? I was just checking up on you because Victoria asked me to. And I happened to uncover some very interesting things about what you've been up to lately."

I looked away, my fears about the extent of James' knowledge confirmed.

He was relentless when he was on a quest for information about his prey. This was no different. I might not be his next meal but I was most certainly his prey. He was going to dig his claws in, refusing to relent until he got what he came for.

He hadn't been surprised by the new golden hue of my eyes. He'd already collected a mental dossier full of information about the changes in my life. That meant he was likely fully aware of the relationships I'd forged with the Cullens. He'd already confirmed he knew Bella was my mate. He'd been outside the restaurant I'd taken Bella to; it was undoubtedly more than a coincidence. He'd known what he was looking for. There was no telling precisely how deep he had tunneled, or what his motivations were.

One thing was clear, there was no point to trying to deny any of it. Pretending like I didn't know what he was talking about would only infuriate him, so I kept silent.

"You've not even tried to keep hidden," he continued, taking a leisurely drag of his cigarette. "You're flaunting yourself and that little slut all over Forks and beyond like a fucking imbecile. How you expected me not to know is beyond me. What a fucking joke."

"I didn't think you would care enough to look for what was evident to everyone else," I said coolly. "You never have before. Today was an exception to the rule, apparently."

He scoffed. "I wouldn't, usually. I was tracking you at Vicky's request. I would have been more discreet about it, too, but I needed to get your attention away from that little whore you've wrapped yourself up in. You were so involved in finger banging the little slut, you didn't notice me. I don't like being ignored and I needed to talk to you. I had no choice but to get a little… crafty."

"This is your last chance," I snapped, tired of him asserting his dominance by flaunting what he knew over my head. We both knew he knew. Either we were going to move past juvenile taunts or I was leaving. "So far you've said nothing I need to hear. Give me a reason to stay."

He narrowed his eyes at me, stubbing out his cigarette on the tree and flinging it into the meadow below. "I don't like the tone of your voice, Masen. But I'm a nice guy. I'm sure Victoria would be very interested in the things I've found out. Mommy, Daddy and Baby Sister Cullen… and your little pet, for instance. She likes you, you see. I'm willing to keep things quiet."

The branch beneath my clenched fingers cracked, groaning in protest. "What's your price?"

"You gone. Out of my life for the rest of fucking eternity. I've let you leech off of my existence for far too long. Victoria is my fucking mate. I'm sick of her coddling you, letting your needs rule our lives. Her attention should be reserved for me and making me happy."

"Yeah right," I retorted. There was no way that was the extent of what he wanted. "You truly expect me to believe that's all you want? What's the catch?"

He glared at my disbelieving attitude. "No fucking catch. Christ. Victoria brought you into my life; it was all her brilliant fucking idea. Bring the little mind reader into the fold and we'll be able to make a fortune and live like kings for the rest of our existence. He'll be our puppet," he mocked Victoria's high voice cruelly, remembering dragging my lifeless body into an old mill while I was mid-transformation. Even back then, he'd been reluctant, but willing to let Victoria take the reins.

I'd never seen myself as a human through a vampire's eyes. It was a fascinating sight to behold. Even though I was bound and gagged, my hair was instantly recognizable, still the tangled mess of autumn colour.

"I listened because I wanted her to be happy," he continued, snorting derisively. Her happiness wasn't important to him any longer. He was feeling rejected and usurped of his masculinity. I nearly laughed at his pettiness, keeping the thought to myself. "I'm too soft with her, that's the goddamn problem. I've let her make choices that are wrong for us. We're vampires and we're hiding amongst humans, living a pathetic half life. It's demeaning. We should live as we were intended, wild and free predators. Like we did before _you_."

"Why don't you tell her that?" I asked coldly. "I'm sure she'd be agreeable to whatever you ask of her. You wear the fucking pants, don't you?"

"Of course I wear the fucking pants, ass." James punched a hole in the nearest tree trunk angrily. "Weren't you fucking listening? I said she's gotten attached to your stupid ass. As long as you're in the picture, she's going to be resistant. She doesn't understand it's for her own good."

"Why are you so certain that she cares?" I muttered, obstinate. Of James and Victoria, I'd always been closest to her. That wasn't saying much. Now I knew better. I knew real relationships were founded on more than obligation.

"Because I know, okay!" he barked, displeased I was being so resistant. "She picked you. You were her project. We were in Chicago scouting out the trail of pair of kids she liked the smell of when we stumbled across that fucking doctor. He thought he was doing your dead fucking mommy a favour. His friend told him that you had a gift for mind-reading. That's when Victoria came up with her stupid scheme. I didn't know any better back then, so I allowed it."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, attempting to get a read on his train of thought, hoping to deduce something more helpful than the scrambled nonsensical sentences he was spouting, but it was no use, they were just as jumbled.

"The story we told you about your change was a lie," James explained calmly, as if he hadn't just upset the axis of my world. His smug smile said he knew he had, he just didn't give a shit. "I didn't change you."

The story I'd always been told was that James had found me lying in the hospital dying of the Influenza. I was an easy target for a quick meal. I was lucky (or unfortunate) enough to have the most appealing blood; he claimed to have been doing me a favour, substituting a long drawn out illness with a quick and painless death.

He'd accidentally changed me when he'd been forced to abandon his feeding by an assembly of hospital staff entering the room. There had been too many of them for him to take out without causing a scene. By the time he'd dragged my body from the room to avoid discovery, the damage had been done, my blood was too polluted with venom to be edible.

How could James not have been my creator? It changed my entire perspective on my existence.

James and I might not have seen eye to eye on many things, but over the decades, I had kept in the back of my mind that I had him to thank for my continued existence. It had erased a large portion of the hate. Without it, there was no tempering barrier. Just unadulterated disgust. It was hard to believe I'd spent more years than not standing at his side, calling him my coven mate.

I touched my neck, feeling the scar, the only memory I had of my change. It was hardly visible, even to vampire eyes – the venom flowing through my body at the time had smoothed away all but the faintest of scars – but I could feel every single ridge of it. I knew the pattern it formed like the back of my hand.

"Who then?" I begged, unable to relieve my tone of desperation. "Did you kill them?"

James laughed boisterously. "I can't believe they didn't tell you. Some fucking friends." He looked me squarely in the eye. "Doctor daddy is your maker. Vicky and I roughed him up a bit… but clearly humpty dumpty was able to put himself back together again."

"What? No! There's no way," I stated confidently. "They would have told me. They wouldn't have kept something that significant from me."

James snickered. "Might want to rethink handing out your trust so fucking easily." His thoughts oozed back in time to a small apartment eighty-six years before. It was small but cozy, and eerily familiar, though I was sure I'd never stepped foot in the place.

It felt like excruciatingly slow motion as James' mind panned across the room.

I watched, a sickening stab hitting me somewhere just above the chest as James flung himself at a shocked Carlisle, a vicious, ruthless predator. I knew then that the picture of Carlisle's face – his utter horror and distress – would be something I'd never forget. Despite the betrayal I felt over his selective version of the truth, no one deserved to be treated in such a despicable way.

Carlisle was easily torn to pieces with Victoria's help, my writhing not-quite-human body a background prop in the sickening slideshow. I felt the urge to heave. I knew it would do no good.

It was real, I knew it was. I'd seen enough thoughts to distinguish the real from the fabricated. It was too crisp, too detailed. I could see every strand in the carpet, every minute detail in the wood grain framing the bed I lay on. People creating imaginary scenarios to bolster a lie didn't think of those tiny, insignificant details.

James chuckled, enjoying my pained shock.

"Why are you telling me this now?" I whispered, my mind still reeling with the realization that my entire existence was a lie. "How come you're letting me hear you now?"

James ground his teeth together, unsure if he wanted to tell me the truth. He must have decided there was no harm, because when he spoke, his voice was void of insincerity.

"I'm not letting you do fucking anything. It's Victoria. Her gift is self-preservation… evasion, if you like. She's dodging your gift. She's able to extend it to shield me because we're bonded. When she's not near, her protection is gone. She evades that little psychic of yours, too. Unintentionally, of course. She has no idea she exists. She must be in a protective mood, since we're separated at the moment. She worries about me." He sniffed. "I don't relish the thought of you reading my mind now or ever, but bringing Victoria along was not an option if this meeting was to go as I planned."

If I took the time to think about that, it made sense. I'd never truly been left alone with James. Victoria was always skulking in the shadows, never too far away from her mate. I'd assumed that stemmed from a mutual lack of desire to be around one another without Victoria to buffer.

On the other hand, Victoria and I had been left alone often enough. But she wouldn't need him near to protect herself. I felt stupid and duped for not realizing she was the common thread to the silence.

I'd never thought to make the connection to her gift for evasion, either, as obvious as it should have been. I'd run across people with varying degrees of skill in keeping their thoughts from me. I'd always assumed James and Victoria were extremely skilled at protecting their minds individually.

I'd always known her gift was the embodiment of a selfish desire to save herself first and foremost. It was becoming clear just how selfish she was. She was using her gift to prevent herself and James from unintentionally giving away secrets she didn't want me exposed to and preserving my loyalty to her and her mate in the meantime.

Unfortunately for her, her mate was just as selfish as she was. He was giving away all her carefully guarded secrets with his own self-centered motivations in mind.

I'd once thought James and Victoria were perfectly suited for one another… her mouse to his cat, in a perfectly balanced game of hide and seek. Now it was clear there was no balance. Their relationship had always been a game of tug of war, pushing and pulling vying for power and control of the other. I felt sorry for them both.

I sighed, suddenly exhausted. I wanted to get back to Bella, to pluck her away from reality. To tuck her into my arms and hide away somewhere far away from all the people who had been feeding me lies. No more James. No Victoria. No Cullens. Just me and Bella.

"You still haven't explained why you're telling me this now," I said quietly, just wanting to get to the point and get this over with. He'd held these secrets close to his chest for nearly ninety years. Why give them up so carelessly now?

James growled, all the previous confessional attitude gone. "Yes, I have, you fucking idiot. I want you out of my coven. You've got your pathetic maker and his 'family,'" he air-quoted nastily, "to mooch off of now. Go play house with them, and leave me and Victoria the fuck alone."

"What about Victoria?"

He sniffled. "Victoria is none of your fucking concern. She's my fucking mate, leave me to deal with her. I'll tell her you ran away and that I can't find you. With you removed from the equation, she won't have a fucking choice, we'll do things my way whether she likes it or not."

I didn't tell him that he was being an asshole, bullying and forcing Victoria into what he wanted by lying, cheating and scamming. I really didn't care. Let them have their destructive, cruel relationship. I was being freed, no strings attached.

It was a blessing.

And I had James to thank. I laughed at the irony. All these years, I'd thought his derision for me stemmed from his need to keep me under his thumb and assert his authority. Turns out he was just a jealous, controlling asshole, paranoid that his mate didn't like him best. On second thought, it wasn't really all that surprising at all.

James growled, upset by my laughter. "Do we have an agreement or not? I'm sure Isabella Swan can help us decide if need be," he snapped, imagining breaking her neck and draining her dry, as if I needed any more motivation to agree to banish him from my memory forever.

As far as I was concerned, for the first time in history, James and I had a common goal.

xx

"Edward?" Alice tried to touch my shoulder as I stomped past her and Emmett on my way back to the Cullen house.

They'd been waiting patiently while I dealt with James, unaware of the extent of what he had revealed. There had been no reason for me to contact Alice, so she was unaware of the exact proceedings because of her blind spot. Somehow Victoria's gift for evading Alice worked even when James was away from her.

I brushed past her, not wanting her to touch me right now. In that moment, all I wanted was Bella. I wanted her wrapped up in my arms, her hair in my face, her scent all around me.

I was in no mood to make small talk. I had severed my ties to James and that was a weight off my shoulders. In its place, he'd placed another one: the knowledge that I'd been lied to by people I'd trusted.

"What's wrong?" She seemed alarmed, her eyes scanning me for signs of injury. "James didn't hurt you did he? You said you'd tell me if he did!"

"Hey, Al," Emmett wrapped a beefy paw around her tiny shoulders in a gesture of a protective older brother, despite the fact she was decades older than him. "I don't think Edward's in the mood right now. Give him a break. You know how he gets. He'll tell us when he'd ready."

"I don't care if he's not in the mood!" she screeched, glaring at the back of my head. I continued walking, refusing to look back, I could see her angry expression just fine in Emmett's mind as he glanced between the two of us worriedly. "He can't clam up like this. We've been sitting here, worrying our asses off, wondering if _he_ is okay, and he comes back acting like this? What does he expect?"

"James told me some very interesting things," I explained, refusing to turn to look at her. "I can't believe after everything we've been through, that you'd lie to me about something so important. Again!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up there, buddy." Emmett's hand clamped down on the back of my shirt. He held fast, refusing to let me continue forward. "What did James tell you? Don't tell me you believed anything that asshole had to say."

I tore a line down the front of my shirt, ignoring the neat row of buttons and shrugged out of the sleeves, stubbornly refusing to let Emmett use it to keep me in place. Emmett glanced at the shirt he now held in his hand and chuckled. "You're one stubborn motherfucker, you know that, don't you?"

I bit back my anger, knowing Emmett had done nothing to deserve my wrath. He'd been integrated into the Cullen fold even more recently than I had. The chances that he knew Carlisle had been my creator and had a hand in keeping that information from me were slim to none.

Alice, however, had to know. That kind of information wasn't the kind one kept a secret from their family members for more than fifty years. Unless Carlisle was so ashamed of the choice he'd made that he'd kept it from even those closest to him. I wasn't sure which would be worse.

"Seriously, Edward?" she snapped. "Don't tell me that after nine decades of abuse, all it took was ten minutes for James to regain your trust? That is such bullshit. After everything we've been through, you're taking his word over ours…"

I rounded to face her, blazing with the anger I'd tried futilely to repress. "So you're telling me that it's not true that Carlisle is the reason I'm a vampire?" I tilted my head, pointing to the faint, decades-old scar on my neck. "That this is not _his_ mark on _me_?"

Emmett looked to Alice, raising his hands defensively, looking more like a fish out of water than a vampire. "Beats me. You know anything about this, Al?"

It was immediately clear she did. The wind sunk from her sails, all fire and gasoline disappearing from her countenance. "I'm sorry," was all she said.

"This is why I don't trust people," I explained coldly. "This kind of shit doesn't happen if you don't let yourself care. I _shouldn't_ care. Time and again, the universe proves to me that it is full of selfish liars. I'm an idiot for continuing to fall for it."

"Edward, please. Give Carlisle a chance to explain. He hasn't kept it from you with dishonorable intentions. If you know Carlisle at all, you know how ludicrous the very thought of that is. He's the most honourable man you'll ever meet."

"I don't care what his intentions were… are. 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions,' isn't that how it goes? He lied, you lied by proxy, and that's all there is to it. I'm sick of being lied to. How hard is it to be honest? I don't think that's asking for very much! You ask me to trust you. I ask for honesty, that's all."

Alice started to speak, but Emmett cut her off, shushing her. I was glad I wouldn't have to be the one to do it. As far as I was concerned, we were done talking. I wasn't in the mood for insincere apologies and a slew of defensive arguments slung at me on Carlisle's behalf.

"Dude, I understand you're upset," Emmett stated calmly, balancing precariously between chastising me and sympathizing with me. He would have made an excellent politician. "They lied about something that's important to you and it sucks. Really. But life isn't so black and white, you know? You're telling me you never lied to Bella, not ever? Not even when you thought it might spare her feelings?"

I shrugged, knowing that in and of itself was a lie by omission. In the early stages of my relationship with Bella I'd strung together countless lies, too ashamed and afraid of what she'd think of me if she knew the truth.

I wasn't about to admit that to him, though we both knew he was right. I wasn't innocent of the crime I was condemning Carlisle for. Bella had graciously given me a chance to explain, to redeem myself. She hadn't ever shut me out without giving me a chance to explain. But then, I'd always known Bella was better than I could ever hope to be.

Still, resentment lingered. There was one crucial difference. I'd come clean. There was no indication Carlisle had ever planned to tell me. He'd had weeks, during which he could have pulled me aside, but he never had. He'd chosen to say nothing. It was the idea that he didn't think I deserved to know that bothered me the most.

"What is there to explain? He kept something from me that he knew I had every right to know."

"Yeah he did," Emmett agreed. "Just saying, you might want to wait and talk to Carlisle before you go spitting nails and blowing smoke. Talk like an adult and people will listen. You get all mad and huffy and no one's going to go out of their way to make it better."

"And what do you think you're doing right now?" Alice snipped, resentment still lingering in her tone. Her thoughts were too relieved, thankful for his intervention, for her words to hold any real fire.

That should have made me feel defensive but it didn't. It made me feel childish and petulant. Emmett was right. I wasn't being fair throwing a tantrum and taking out my frustration on Alice and Emmett. Even if they'd been privy to fact Carlisle had changed me, it wasn't their story to share; that was something Carlisle needed to tell me himself.

If I expected to get the answers I desperately wanted, I was going to have to put my frustration aside and deal with Carlisle directly.

If I was completely honest with myself, meeting up with James had wound me up more than usual. During the ordeal, I'd had no choice but to put up a façade of calm, and keep myself and my emotions in check. The moment I'd been freed of that necessity, they had all come rushing back with a vengeance. I hadn't dealt with them very well and I knew it.

"Emmett makes everything better, Allie," Emmett told her with his biggest dimpled grin. "He makes no judgments and has no limits for his joy-spreading."

"Emmett's right, okay?" I conceded, interrupting their banter before Alice could respond. "I was being an asshole. I mean, if it had been any other day… I might have reacted differently. It's just been an interesting day. I've had a lot thrown at me in a short space of time. I just want to go home and curl up with Bella in my bed and watch her sleep for the next century. But after that… I'm going to want some damn answers."

"Hold up," Emmett beamed. "Did I hear the words 'Emmett's right?' By the way, I did not say asshole. I was very careful about that. But if you think the shoe fits… we can use your word."

"You said home," Alice said, speaking over Emmett's self-congratulatory rambling, her previous anger apparently all but forgotten, a huge smile eclipsing her face. "You think your home is with us."

"It would seem that way," I sighed. "Should I be frightened?"

I might have downplayed how happy I was at the realization that I had finally found a place worthy of the term… even if its other occupants were of often questionable sanity. Never had another place held that allure for me. The fact that Bella was there, too, sweetened the pot. Anywhere she was, I was fairly certain, I could live happily for eternity.

"No, but we might be."

"Shut up, Emmett." Alice elbowed him. He grunted, covering his ribs. "What happened to making things better?"

"Things are better. Everyone is happy, courtesy of Emmett McCarty and his PhD in the art of bringing joy."

Alice snickered. "I'm not even going to dignify that with a response. Let's just go home." She said the word with reverence, shooting me a sideways glance and a secret smile. "The others are probably dying of curiosity. _I'm_ dying of curiosity. Carlisle isn't the only one with some 'splainin' to do."

Yeah, there was definitely plenty of explaining to go around.

The moment we were through the door, we were accosted by half a dozen pairs of curious eyes, all but one set bright gold. It was the only one that mattered to me.

My eyes found Bella's chocolate ones easily. The realization that I had returned and I was fine lifted away something dark and desperate that I never wanted to see in them again.

She flung herself into my arms, wiping stray tears onto my chest. "You're okay!"

She squeezed me, holding on tight for several long moments before looking up at me curiously, seeming to notice I was half-naked for the first time.

"What happened to your shirt? Did James…?" She ran a hand up my bare back, her eyes scanning my body for something she wouldn't find. I shivered, unable to help the automatic reaction to the combined forces of her hands and her gaze.

I shook my head. "It's a long story. But no, James didn't do anything to my shirt. We resolved things peacefully enough. Emmett happened to my shirt."

The question was obvious in her eyes. _What the hell would Emmett do with your shirt?_

A valid question I didn't really have an answer for.

"We sort of had a little incident on the way back here," was the best I had to offer.

"And he stole your shirt?" Bella looked at me like I was insane. I just hugged her to me, too glad that everything was going to work out and that she was happy and by my side. The situation with Carlisle didn't seem nearly so life-altering when Bella was next to me. We would deal with that in stride, just like we had everything else.

"We had a little tiff. No big deal. My shirt was the only casualty, everything's okay now," I explained carefully, not wanting to detail the extent of my irrational outburst.

Bella turned to Emmett angrily, a kitten staring down an elephant. "I can't believe you got into a fight with Edward, right after everything with James! What's wrong with you? Ripping his shirt off of him, really?"

I snickered at his chastened expression. "Uh, yeah, about that. Sorry, Edward. I'll sew it up for you, good as new," he offered, throwing the offending garment, which he still held, at me. He had no intention of doing any such thing.

_I could have sold your ass out. I didn't. You're welcome._

Bella rolled her eyes. "I don't think I'll ever understand how this family operates."

I shrugged. "Me neither. But I don't think it matters. We're stuck with them."

She nodded, grinning. "It could be worse. So, are you going to explain to me what happened with James?"

"I will," I agreed. "I'll tell you anything you want to know. But first, there's something I need to do." Still holding her hand, I led her over to Carlisle. She raised an eyebrow at me questioningly, but offered no resistance.

Carlisle smiled at us expectantly. "Is there something I can do for you, Edward?" His tone was full of genuine concern. I reminded myself of what Alice had said. He was an honourable man. I believed that, I truly did. I was going to do the right thing and give him a chance to explain.

I tried to swallow my nervousness. I wanted to know this story. I needed to know the truth.

"I think there's something that you can explain to me."

xx

_I'm quite nervous about writing the next chapter. I'm going to be doing something a little different than usual. Hopefully I'll still be able to get it out in a reasonable time frame._

_As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter :)_


	30. Desperation

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing. _

_**Chapter: **__Thirty; Desperation_

_**POV:**__ Carlisle_

_**AN: **__Yes, you read that right, this POV is Carlisle's. From the beginning of the story I had intended to include the back story hinted at in the preface. This is it. In light of Edward going to Carlisle for answers, his POV seemed the best fit. I hope you feel, as I do, that it adds something to the story a little more sophisticated than a series of memory dives in Carlisle's head from EPOV._

_As always a ginormous thank you to everyone who has helped get this story to this point. I can't believe we're at 30 already :)_

xx

_87 years earlier…_

The hospital was full to maximum capacity, every single one of its sixty beds occupied. It broke what remained of my heart. An endless supply of ill folks littered them, many whom would eventually succumb to the cruel hands of the disease that had gripped the nation. Just as hundreds of thousands of young, healthy people before them had. The Influenza had been merciless.

I was safe from the line of fire but doomed to watch the carnage. I did not sleep, I hardly ate, yet I could not do enough. If I dared turn my back, even for a moment, it could mean the life of another lost, another I might have been able to save.

These days, I was unable to get to know my patients very well. There were far too many extenuating circumstances. Death most certainly put a damper on living. Even the select few patients I had a hand in nursing back to health, I could not allow myself to develop lasting relationships with. For all intents and purposes I belonged amongst dead. Carlisle Cullen, as he had once lived, no longer existed.

I was a mere shadow walking alongside the living.

Since my transformation over two-hundred years ago, I had lived a fulfilling if incomplete life. I had the pleasure of knowing I was making a difference with my contributions to medicine. That didn't stop the longing I had for something more. Some days – and those days were becoming increasingly more frequent – I craved the simple pleasure of another's touch.

It had been years since I'd last touched another beyond the necessities of my chosen profession. Distant, clinical touches were hardly the emotional sustenance I craved.

I didn't need the cold, wanton touches of an easy lover. Sexual fulfillment was not something that concerned me. I trusted God's plan for me. I trusted his judgment. He would lead me to the person meant to be my partner, eventually. I simply needed to have patience with him. He had given me forever. I owed him the same.

Nevertheless, the longer the passage of time I walked the planet alone stretched, the more consuming the desire to have a companion grew. My soul was growing restless, as was my faith.

A weak hand reached out to me, a welcome distraction from unwelcome thoughts.

"Hello, Mrs. Aaron," I greeted, forcing a polite smile. "How are you this evening?"

Her smile was as weak as her grip on my shirt but it bolstered my determination to remain thankful for what I had. If someone so ravaged by disease could muster a smile, surely I, immortal and wanting for nothing except companionship, could do the same?

"I'm doing well given the circumstances, Dr. Cullen. Dr. Talbot has assured me I will make it through the night." Her voice was soft and hoarse, worn down by sickness. Had I lesser hearing, I might not have understood.

"I was hoping you would be so kind as to call my daughter and her husband? Tonight may be my last chance to visit with her. They are very newly married. They will be leaving town in the morning for their honeymoon."

It was a blatant lie. I knew very well that Beatrice Aaron had been married half a dozen years with one small child and another on the way. Medical records were not foolproof but my memory was.

"I wish I could, Mrs. Aaron," I told her gently, wishing it was within my power to grant her request. The weak beat of her heart told me Dr. Talbot had been incorrect in his assessment. "You know, as I do, that visiting hours are in the morning. Surely your daughter can be convinced to postpone her trip one day?"

Mrs. Aaron winked, playfulness lurking beneath the sunken, tired eyes. "We both know that Dr. Talbot has grown soft. He told me I would see tomorrow because he believes it to be what I want to hear. We all know I'll be taking my final breaths tonight. I have made my peace with God. I would like to see my loved ones before I pass. Please, Dr. Cullen, reconsider my request?"

I nodded against my better judgment, unable to deny her the opportunity to say goodbye to her family. "I'll see what I can do."

Mrs. Aaron clasped her hands, thanking God for granting her prayers in her final hours. I knew I would make certain Mrs. Aaron saw her relatives before the sun rose. The hospital was in chaos, full beyond its capacity, with such astonishing turnover that a body or two that did not belong would hardly be noticed.

I was becoming too attached to my patients. The lack of companionship in other areas of my life was making me susceptible to growing attached beyond the requirements of my profession. There was a certain anonymity in the ever looping deaths but it wasn't enough. Eventually my colleagues and patients whose lives extended beyond the Influenza would recognize I wasn't aging if I continued on this path.

I continued doing my nightly rounds, checking in with the numerous patients under my care, most of whom appeared to be in worse shape than I'd left them. It was not easy to leave each morning when my shift ended, knowing I would be sitting idle, neglecting those I was trusted to care for.

I spent most of the daytime hours researching a cure to supplement my evening shifts at the hospital but thus far it appeared a lost cause. A cure was simply beyond the medical community's ability to heal.

"Dr. Cullen!"

I turned at the sound of my name.

The bright eyes of Elizabeth Masen found mine. She had been admitted several days ago, exhibiting the extreme fever and bloody cough symptomatic of the flu. Her cheeks were sunken and tinged blue but she managed to appear cheerful nonetheless. I knew much of that had to do with the presence of her son in the bedside next to hers.

He had been admitted shortly after his mother with similar but less progressed symptoms. Though she detested that he was there at all, Elizabeth was confident he would beat the flu so many others had not. He was in better shape than many others, herself included.

"Hello, Mrs. Masen." I smiled cordially, glad to see her in good spirits. When she smiled she reminded me of another redhead, one I hadn't seen in years, yet could envision so perfectly it was if she sat before me.

_A broken leg and a decade's worth of fond memories. A laugh that I would have sworn had the power to heal._

Yes, I decided, I was definitely becoming too attached to my patients.

"Can you still not release Edward? The other doctors say he has made improvements. Surely he would fare better at our home, away from those still in poor health?"

"I'm afraid not, Mrs. Masen," I told her carefully, detesting extinguishing her hope. Edward's system was still struggling to fight off the disease threatening his life. There was no guarantee he would not regress and further worsen as the illness overwhelmed his body's defenses.

"Your son hasn't improved to such as degree that I would feel comfortable releasing him from the hospital's care. It is in his best interest to remain within close proximity to a physician at all times."

"Mother," Edward complained from the next bed, peering at us over a book. "I'm fine. I would rather be here, keeping you company, than at home mourning Father's passing alone."

Elizabeth reached over to the next bed, smoothing her son's hair fondly. The vibrant auburn bounced back, refusing his mother's best efforts. "I know, darling. You're a sweet boy, concerning yourself with me. Now that your father is gone, you're all the family I have left."

"Mother," he admonished. "We will both be fine. You'll see. Nana Johnson will be welcoming us home before the week is out. And then I'll be able to draft–"

"Edward!"

Elizabeth flushed and turned to me embarrassed by her outburst. "I'm sorry, Dr. Cullen. My son," she turned a fiery green gaze upon Edward, "has some grand ideas about war. He thinks he ought to be a soldier–"

"There's nothing wrong for fighting for something you believe in! I believe in freedom and hope and… "

"Don't we all, darling?" she asked softly. The words might have sounded condescending but Elizabeth made them sound the opposite; her overlapping fondness and fear for her son clear. "That's no reason to go putting yourself in harm's way. You have such great potential. You could be a lawyer like your father. Or a physician like Dr. Cullen. Isn't that right, doctor?"

I smiled in agreement. The hospital would have been lucky to have a doctor with Edward's passion and determination.

"Of course. Your mother is right. You would make a wonderful doctor. They need healers, even in war, you know. Consider the good you could do saving lives of other soldiers."

Edward paused, lowering his book thoughtfully. "Perhaps that wouldn't be so awful. It would make father proud."

Elizabeth reached for her son's hand. "Darling, your father will be proud of you no matter where your life leads you. As will I. You're our son. That's reason enough."

I thought of red hair and broken legs and the son I would never have.

xx

The next few days saw little improvement in the hospital's gruesome affairs.

Just as she had predicted, Mrs. Aaron had succumbed to her ailment. A sobbing Beatrice had thanked me for arranging the covert reunion with her mother.

Countless others met the same fate over the days that followed. More patients were lost to the clutches of the Influenza than were released from the hospital. The unfortunate truth was that by the time people were submitted to the hospital their symptoms were typically too far progressed. All we could provide was minimal pain relief.

Sitting idly and waiting for the worst had become the majority of my job. I knew I wasn't the only one who felt impotent. The hospital, quite easily, could have become a pit of despair. It was strange how the horrible circumstances seemed to bring out the fighting strength in some.

Elizabeth and Edward Masen were two such people.

It was painful to watch as they weakened, too fatigued by the virus to do the things they loved. They slept so often, they were rarely ever awake for more than a handful of minutes at the same time.

The book Edward had been reading with such dedication had been relegated to beneath his pillow, a page a mere thirty from the end dog-eared to mark his place. I worried he might never finish it. The thought saddened me.

When I had had claimed that Edward great potential, I had not said so merely because his mother had asked for support. He was intelligent, determined to do good, to fight for what he believed in.

I saw myself in him.

His passion for a cause at such a young age resonated deeply. He revered the thousands of nameless, faceless men serving in the war. I had held my father and his religion (and, if I was being honest with myself, his politics) near and dear.

I had been so desperate to make my father proud. I had been out of my depth, not understanding what I was getting myself into by engaging in my father's discriminatory practices. In hunting the bottom feeders of society that my father had preached again, I had become one myself.

God had effectively shown me the error of my ways.

As honourable as my intentions had been, they had been misguided. I knew that now. I was no less soulless as a vampire than I had been as a human. There was still potential for good in me. My purpose – the cause that drove me – had been irrevocably altered. Instead of fighting to the death, I was determined to fight for life.

Edward Masen deserved to live to see life beyond seventeen. He was on the cusp of beginning his life. If there was anything I could do to help him fulfill the potential I knew he had, I would help him get there.

I continued doing my rounds. The considerable supply of aspirin I had brought with me quickly dwindled to none. The hospital's supplies had long been extinguished. The stash I had accumulated in exchange for ten times its worth was growing thin, too.

The drug was a fruitless means of treatment but it offered pain relief. Numbing my patients to their suffering was the best I could offer.

By the time I reached Elizabeth and Edward, my pockets were empty. Edward was sleeping restlessly but his mother opened her eyes weakly. She peered at me with warm eyes that belied her haggard appearance. They were still a stunning green just like her son's.

"Dr. Cullen," she mumbled. I strained to make sense of her jumbled voice. "How is Edward?"

I smiled at her perpetual worry for son. She was the kind of mother I had always wished for. I didn't remember mine.

"He's holding on, Elizabeth. You worry about keeping your strength up. Edward looks to you for his cues."

"Carlisle. Speak honestly with me. Is he going to make it?" Weakly, she propped herself up on her pillow, her arms shaking beneath her.

I swallowed hard, fighting against tears that would never come. I could not be the one to give her the answer she dreaded. This woman and her son had managed to touch my heart in such a short time. The thought of causing additional pain, when they lay dying in hospital beds under my charge was heartbreaking.

"I don't know. It is possible, of course," I said, attempting optimism, albeit poorly. "I have seen survivors of worse cases. However his body is weakened. He is in for the fight of his life. His body has already endured so much. I would say that he is young and healthy, but the flu has struck the young and healthy worst of all. My prognosis is undetermined at this stage."

Elizabeth slumped back into her pillow as a brutal cough overcame her. "Is there nothing at all you can do?" She arched an eyebrow at me. "You are not like the other doctors, Dr. Cullen."

I grasped her hand gently. Even though she was deathly pale and cold, she felt warm to my touch.

"Elizabeth, I'm not sure that I grasp what you mean. Every doctor in this hospital wishes to see his patients to improve and is doing everything within his power to ensure it happens."

"I don't doubt it," Elizabeth whispered tiredly. "But you – you must do what the others cannot. For Edward."

Her eyes slipped closed as the final words fell from her lips. I squeezed the hand still in mine, an unspoken promise, my throat constricting.

It was a moment before I realized she had only drifted to into the sleep that occupied most of her time now. Her pulse was weak but most definitely present. Our short conversation had sapped her of her energy.

I mulled over her words about how I was different. She was certainly correct in that assumption. Something deep inside of me told me it was not merely an assumption. She was shrewd far beyond her mortal years.

Could she possibly be aware that I was not human?

I longed to wake her and ask. I refrained. Her body needed to recuperate, it would have been immeasurably selfish to risk her life because I wanted answers. Edward needed his mother.

I never learned precisely what Elizabeth had been asking of me. When I returned less than two hours later, her body was cold.

Edward was hovering over his mother. He had pulled himself – with all the strength remaining in his fragile body – to her bedside. He knelt at her bedside holding one of her hands in a white-knuckled grip. There were dried tear tracks on his face that I paid no notice, knowing he wouldn't want me to see them.

"Edward," I said softly, touching his shoulder. He glanced over his shoulder to see who was speaking to him, his gaze immediately returning to his mother's peaceful face. "You should return to your bed."

He ignored the request. I wasn't sure he heard me at all. For several moments his intermittent coughs were the only sound between us.

"She's gone," he said eventually. His voice was dull.

His mother – one of few people he would ever love unconditionally – had been ripped from him, just as his father had been mere weeks earlier. At age seventeen, before his life had truly begun, Edward was left without any family to speak of.

"Do you think she is in heaven?" He turned large green eyes on me, appearing half his age. He shook his head disregarding his question. The movement caused him to cough violently. "She must be," he said emphatically.

I nodded, kneeling on the floor next to him. "I'm sure she is. She was an admirable woman. She loved you very much. God rewards those who love selflessly."

He seemed happy with that response. I didn't push the conversation any further, knowing my interference would be unwelcome. I sat beside him as he mourned his loss, unable to leave him alone in his misery.

I was neglecting my other patients. I told myself Edward needed me more. After ten minutes, I realized I had spent more time with him in complete silence than I had with any other patient while they were awake.

While Edward mourned his mother, I thought of my own miseries.

_Tangled red hair and a broken leg. The son I would never have. A life of solitude._

Some might have said that I had an epiphany during one of the precious moments I spent companionably by Edward's side.

It started with a simple thought, but it was one that would change my life forever.

_Edward was the son I had always wished I had._

xx

Eventually I managed to persuade Edward to return to his bed. It was apparent he agreed only because he was too tired to resist.

His drooping eyes remained on his mother even as I lifted him the few feet to his bed. The moment his head hit his pillow, he was asleep. His tears and the excursion out of bed had drained his last reserves of energy.

I blew out the candle at his bedside, not wanting the unnecessary light to disturb his sleep. I watched his crumpled face as he slept. Even in sleep, he did not appear peaceful. Despite the sunken appearance that was uniform to my patients, Edward retained a slight youthful roundness.

He was easily as tall as the bed was long, but curled upon himself, he looked incredibly small. Innocent and childlike. He was just a boy. Only seventeen.

I could give Edward an extended life, one that did not rely on rolling the dice of fate.

Over the following hours I contemplated Elizabeth's final words as I completed my routine rounds. They tumbled through my mind cyclically, undergoing every possible scrutiny.

At times I had convinced myself I was only considering changing Edward out of pure selfishness. At others I was certain that Elizabeth had given her blessing.

I was a doctor; I excelled in my field. Perhaps she had only expected the best medical care I could provide. That interpretation did not settle right. The utterly serious expression Elizabeth had fixed me with as she spoke squirmed uncomfortably in the back of my consciousness. Her words were not merely those of a delirious woman worried about mortality. She had known she was relaying a crucial message.

My heart tore with indecision.

When I passed Edward's bedside several hours later, he was sleeping. The patient in the adjacent bed informed me he had been awake not too long before, coughing up blood. My stomach twisted. I was running out of time.

Edward was not going to improve. He was going to meet the same fate his parents had unless I intervened. His future rested in my hands.

I knew then that I had reached the decision that, deep down, I had known I would come to all along.

xx

It was not the most simple task removing Edward from the hospital undetected. He had been in the ward for nearly a week, a virtual eternity given how quickly the Influenza wrecked the bodies of those it inhabited. He had been fairly well-known and liked around the ward. Elizabeth's passing had hit several of my other patients hard. The absence of her positive energy was palatable. I knew Edward's assumed death would be a cause for notice, just as his mother's had been.

Then there was the fact I had to resign from my position in order to take care of Edward as he became accustomed to his new body. It pained me to think that I would be unable to provide support for the ailing masses. I reminded myself of the promise I had made to Elizabeth.

I waited until just before daybreak, when the ward was at its most quiet. Restful sleep was something that was not easy to come by in the hospital. Coughing and pained groans were a constant disturbance at all hours. We continued to encourage the patients to keep quiet and attempt to rest during the nighttime hours. It was at this time when all lights were extinguished that I had the greatest chance of removing Edward without arousing suspicion.

During the blackest part of the early morning, just before the dawn, I pulled Edward from his bed. He was nearly weightless he was so thin. He slumped against me, asking in hoarse, disjointed tones where we were going. I kept my answer short and truthful, knowing it he would likely not remember the conversation the next time we spoke.

He nodded, slumping against me trustingly, either too tired or too out of his wits to question me. I was glad he did not seem to fear me, even as he came into contact with my unnatural stone flesh. His hands were nearly as cold as mine, despite his feverish forehead.

Removing him from his ward went smoothly enough. Explaining why I had brought Edward into the hallway connecting to other areas of the hospital would be more problematic. Very rarely were patients transferred around the hospital. Since the Influenza had taken hold, it was deemed important to maintain separation as much as possible.

A window caught my eye. I could jimmy it open and we could exit that way if I did it quickly. The rapid footsteps of pair of doctors were fast approaching.

Hastily I helped Edward to lean against the wall next to it. Even with the support his knees buckled, unable to hold his weight. Awkwardly using one hand to support Edward and the other to maneuver the fastenings on the window, I managed to prop it open enough to lower Edward to the ground outside. He said nothing, too weak and delirious to make sense of the strange turn of events.

I followed gently shutting the window behind me just as the shadows of two doctors entered the hallway. They loomed over where Edward and I ducked under the windowsill, hiding from unwanted stares.

I wrapped an arm around Edward in a poor attempt to block out the gusty wind hitting him on the sides unprotected by the building. He was only in thin nightclothes and it was a bitter night. He had to be freezing.

"I'm so sorry, Edward," I whispered to him, unsure if he understood what I was saying. His state of consciousness was indeterminable.

He shrugged or at least I thought he might have. The shivering made it difficult to tell. "…going with… mother and father…" he told me nonsensically. It didn't take much brains to determine he thought he was dying.

Finally the doctors vacated. I didn't give a second glance behind me. I picked Edward up and sprinted from the hospital as quickly as my feet would allow.

Under the cover of night it did not take us long to reach my small one-room bungalow. I laid Edward on my bed, stroking his windblown hair from his face, guilty and worried in equal measures.

Swept up in the challenge of removing him from the hospital, I thought I had accomplished the most complicated part of my plan. Now that I was faced with drinking from his frail body, I realized the most difficult part was yet to come.

Foolishly, I had assumed I would have the power to save his life. I had not stopped to consider I might drain him of the little life he had left. I had never changed another being before, nor had I tasted human blood. Both were likely to have a negative impact on my ability to complete a change successfully on my first attempt. I had heard horror stories. Purposefully attempted transformations were rarely successful. It wasn't unlikely that I would fail.

Regardless, there was no time for hesitation.

I pulled down the collar of Edward's night shirt, revealing an expanse of his pale neck. Willing myself over my self-taught aversion to human blood, I lowered my teeth the flesh. This close to his carotid artery, the faded pulsing sound seemed deafening.

The moment my teeth grazed his skin he stiffened, the small movement causing my teeth to sink into him. With the taste of blood on my tongue I was unable to resist temptation, I gulped once, twice, three times. A sickening bile rose in my throat along with a fiery panic and I still could not stop. Even his agonized screams did nothing to deter my need. Aware as I was that I was killing him, my body demanded more.

With more determination than I knew I possessed, I wrenched myself away, a magnet resisting its natural pull.

I fled to the opposite end of the room gasping for unneeded breath. I washed my mouth out in the small sink in the far corner, determined to rid myself of the blasphemous taste. Gladly I bit down on the bar of soap resting next to it in a tin. Anything was better than the punishing taste of Edward's blood.

Several minutes passed before I felt secure enough in my state of mind to venture to Edward's side again. My venom had diluted his blood to such a degree it no longer smelled even vaguely appetizing, a fact for which I was immensely grateful.

His heart beat stronger than before and slightly quicker. I had never witnessed a transformation before but this seemed to be a positive sign. I knelt, reciting a quick prayer thanking God for my apparent success, pleading with him to preserve Edward's life for the tumultuous days that were to follow.

xx

Hours passed slowly.

I dragged my desk chair to Edward's bedside, hoping my presence would help in some small way. At times it was difficult to watch his contorted expressions and pained screams but I could not leave him alone. I reminded myself it was a sure sign the venom had taken hold.

At the eighteen hour mark, I found myself hosting an unexpected visitor. I had been so captivated with Edward's transformation the knock at the door was entirely unexpected. I had no intention of opening it to anyone, so I ignored it. No good could come from a human witnessing Edward in this state.

Of course, when it came to the Volturi, being invited in was never an obstacle.

Next thing I knew, the door was unlocked and Eleazar was strolling inside. He pulled up a seat next to mine. We looked over Edward together.

"Carlisle." He appraised me with cool red eyes.

"Eleazar," I returned politely. "What brings you to my home?"

"Business. We're investigating a pair of troublemakers in the city. They have been neglecting to hunt conspicuously – a feat made quite simple by the Influenza – and Aro wanted them dealt with. He asked me to see how you've been."

I nodded, unsurprised. Aro had been a good friend to me during my decades in Italy. I was not surprised to hear he asked his guard to check up on me. Every so often, they would drop in for status updates to return to him. Eleazar and I had also been close. I would not have been surprised to hear he had volunteered for the job.

He nodded to the writhing boy on the bed. "You're brining a new one into the fold? Unexpected, I must say. Aro and the others were certain you would never have the nerve to follow through with an event so traumatic to the human involved."

"His mother asked for me to save his life as her dying wish."

Eleazar chuckled. "Save his life you say? I'm not quite sure this is what the woman had in mind, Carlisle. As a physician, surely you know that?"

"It wasn't a typical request," I countered. "I think she may have been aware that I was a vampire. She never said so, of course. She loved her son so much. I couldn't stand by and do nothing."

Eleazar clapped a hand on my shoulder. "You don't need to explain your motivations to me, old friend. It's about time you adopted a traveling companion. Frankly, I'm surprised you didn't chose a woman. I must say you've picked a very interesting young man, however. He shows great potential."

It was ironic, I thought, that those were the exact same words Elizabeth had used to describe her son. The same words that had caused me think of Edward as more than just another in a line of anonymous patients.

I nodded. "There is something very engaging about him. He has a natural presence." There was something intrinsically special about Edward that I wasn't sure anyone could pinpoint. I wasn't sure what it was myself.

"As you know, determining any gift a human might have is an imprecise art," Eleazar continued thoughtfully, his eyes scanning Edward but seeming to pass right through him at the same time. I had seen him at work often enough to know that he was determining the extent of any special abilities Edward would develop.

"It's even more sketchy during the change. Too much is still undecided. However, it appears that he will have a mental ability. Telepathy of some sort if I had to guess. Though it might be more offensive than that. Creating illusions of some sort in the minds others, perhaps? The ability to push thoughts? It's hard to say exactly how it will manifest. The fact I can determine as much as I can, at what appears to be a very early stage in his transformation tells me the boy will be quite powerful."

"A telepath," I mused, considering what little I had known of Edward's mortal life. He had gotten on very well with others. It would not surprise me that he had been very socially aware and sympathetic to the thoughts of others.

"So it appears. It is not often that such pronounced mental gifts are discovered. If his abilities are anything like Aro's, the man himself will be very interested to meet him indeed."

I hesitated. I didn't want to appear disrespectful. I valued Aro's years of friendship, however his powerful position in the vampire community never ceased to put me on edge. I had no desire to involve myself in Volterra's endless political games.

"Perhaps one day." I kept my voice neutral.

There was always the chance that Aro might touch Eleazar upon his return to Volterra. I did not want to give my old friend a reason to question my loyalty or the strength of our friendship.

Eleazar winked at me. "I'm no telepath but I have a feeling I know where your thoughts are. Don't worry so much, my friend. Aro treasures your alliance. I would wager he has more fingers on one hand than people whom he would bestow the title 'friend' upon. He would not risk a treasured relationship over a boy."

I kept my doubts silent. Aro's love of talented vampires was far from a secret. It wasn't that I believed Aro would purposefully undermine me. I knew he was a good man and a solid, fair ruler for our kind. However, he was not the kind of person I could imagine being a suitable mentor for a malleable newborn.

It had only been hours since I had changed Edward's existence forever and already I felt a sense of responsibility for his happiness. I wanted to help him realize his capabilities as a vampire. As admirable as Aro was in many ways, he was not known for being a calm or patient teacher. I was confident that I could be.

"No, I don't believe he would, either," I agreed. "It has been decades since I visited Volterra. Perhaps Edward and I will make the excursion in the near future."

"I'm certain Aro would welcome you both." Though Eleazar spoke pleasantly enough, it was clear his attention was focused beyond the walls of my small property. I listened also, recognizing the sounds of the guard approaching.

Eleazar extended his hand for me to shake, indicating that he had to be on his way. I did not blame him for the rushed exit. The twins were waiting outside, deadly calm masking the vengeful fury they were known for. Patience was not a strong suit for either of them.

Before he retreated into the night with Jane and Alec, Eleazar promised to return to meet Edward – my protégé, he called him – before he left for Italy.

I smiled, closing the door behind him.

xx

In the wake of Eleazar's visit, I returned to my vigil at Edward's bedside. In the short time that had passed, his heart rate had sped significantly; it now beat several additional times per minute.

His squirming and pained noises increased, too. I desperately wished there was something I could do to ease his suffering. The three days I had lain in a cellar under a pile of potato sacks had been the worst in my life.

I was searching through my desk drawer, checking if I had any aspirin remaining, wondering if they might help to lessen the painful effects of venom, when the door to my bungalow reopened.

I did not pause in my search at first, assuming that Eleazar had returned. When I did look up, I found myself staring into the eyes of two unfamiliar vampires. I did not recognize either of them as members of the Volturi guard.

"Hello, doctor," the man sneered.

His hair was long and dirty and his clothes appeared to be those of a scavenger. They were well worn, ripped and torn in odd places. A nomad, I decided. I had not come across many in my travels as they tended to prefer more natural, woodsy landscapes. My choice of profession kept me chained to urban life.

"Hello," I returned carefully, very aware that Edward lay vulnerable behind me. "Is there something I can help you with?"

The man strolled across the room, settling himself in an armchair as if it belonged to him. "There's nothing you can do for me. Vicky, speak to the man."

His partner – a fiery redhead with a incongruously sweet face – beamed at me, her smile managing to seem vicious.

"We want the boy," she demanded, not bothering to preface the statement.

She stalked towards Edward, brushing past me coldly. She touched his cheek gently, her sinister smile softening to something more tender. The apparent familiarity where there should have been none unsettled me.

I refrained from removing her from his bedside, not wanting to start an unnecessary brawl. I was certain there had been a mistake and that we could settle the matter with words alone.

"Edward has been in my care for the last few weeks. You must be mistaking him for another. Perhaps if you explain to me who you are seeking, I might be able to help?"

"There's been no mistake," the woman, Vicky, snapped. "He's ours now." She retrieved several lengths of cloth from the pocket of her jacket. Perching herself neatly on the edge of Edward's bed, she began binding and gagging him.

"Please don't. You might injure him," I begged, undoing the bindings to free Edward's arms. "He's newly exposed to my venom. His body is still very weak."

The woman glared at me hatefully, her hand clamping down on mine, her nails sinking easily into my flesh. I pulled back, alarmed. She set about fastening new material in place of those I had cut away. I didn't try to stop her this time.

"I do not recall asking for your opinion, _doctor_." She spat the final word at me like it was a poisonous dart. I kept silent, used to those sorts of slurs from human blood drinkers. Being a physician was not a typically accepted choice amongst the vampire community.

"Are you almost done?" the man looked to Vicky with annoyance. He had abandoned my armchair and was tapping his foot impatiently. "Let's get the kid and get the fuck out of here."

I stood up straighter, distressed. I was running out of time to set things straight. I wasn't sure what was happening. I could not allow them to take Edward but my attempts at convincing the intruders it was a case of mistaken identity were proving unwelcome.

"Please," I tried again. "I don't understand why you are attempting to take Edward. If you might take a moment to explain your motivations to me, perhaps we–"

"Jamie, will you _please_ shut him up?" Vicky fixed spiteful red eyes on me as she stuffed a length of fabric in Edward's mouth. His silenced screams suddenly seemed deafening. "His chatter is driving me up the wall."

I backed against the wall behind me, my mind racing with possibilities. I could attempt to take Edward and flee. If I was weighted down, even if only with Edward's thin form and was forced to take precautions to preserve his life, the likelihood that we would both escape with our lives intact was slim to none.

I could not defend myself against both of them and protect Edward, should they catch up with me. I had witnessed enough violence in Italy to understand the basics of vampire dueling but I was not a natural born fighter. I preferred to avoid conflict and I had never before been faced with a situation where a fight was my only option.

"Please," I attempted to reason with them a final time. "I don't want to fight. Just leave Edward alone. I – I have acquired a considerable wealth, perhaps a monetary agreement–"

"Did you not hear my woman?" the man roared, cutting over my pleas. "She said to 'shut up.' I suggest you shut the fucking hell up."

"I'm sorry."

The apology didn't make it all the way out of my mouth before he was on top of me, lunging at me with the force and aggression of an angry bear. His sudden movement shocked me. I didn't have time to dodge the stone fist cannoning towards my face.

I might have raised my hands to protect myself. If I had, it was a worthless expense of energy. He overpowered me easily.

For the first time in my immortal existence, my mind ceased to be sharp and clear. My sight was horribly blurred, my ears only able to pick up dull echoes I vaguely recognized as my own horrific screams.

The sound of twisting, screeching metal was the only relief from the noise but it was not much of a respite. Accompanying the sounds was pain like I had never known. Excruciating, horrible pain that numbed and dulled my other senses overtook me.

I knew I wasn't dead. I had been witness several of Caius' more inventive executions. This was relatively mild torture in comparison. Yet I longed for the flames that would put an end to the pain. The fire never came.

Eventually, mercifully, the sounds of groaning metal ceased and the pain dulled to a throbbing ache. Still the fire stayed away.

It took the hundreds of disconnected shreds of my body nearly an hour to reassemble, as they squirmed and sorted themselves, a grotesque undead puzzle.

When I finally regained control of my faculties, I was able to confirm what the stubborn, optimistic part of me had refused to believe.

Edward was gone.

xx

_Er, yeah, so that was something different for me. I hope I did Carlisle justice and that you found this chapter enjoyable, and that maybe even found it answered a question or two about the motivations of all the characters involved. I would love to hear your opinions on the matter :)_

_Normal service shall resume next chapter… and it should be a fun one ;)_


	31. Relief

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing. _

_**Chapter: **__Thirty-one; Relief_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_**AN: **__There seemed to be quite a bit of confusion over the last chapter about how exactly James and Victoria knew to take Edward, and why they would want him at all. Since this was a concern brought up by multiple people, I thought I'd address it for those of you who might have had concerns but didn't voice them._

_James explains, in the chapter before the CPOV, that he and Victoria were passing through Chicago and happened to overhear Carlisle and Eleazar talking, which prompted Victoria to decide she wanted Edward for his gift. Thanks to Victoria's talent for evading detection and James tracking abilities, they're skilled at gathering information quietly. Since the last chapter was in Carlisle's point of view and he wasn't aware that James and Victoria were listening in on his conversation, he didn't mention them._

_Thank you to everyone who has continued to support this fic, whether it's by leaving a review that makes me think or simply by continuing to read :) I've been horrible at responding to reviews lately, but I read every one and appreciate them all the same. The response to the last chapter was lovely. I was terrified of writing Carlisle, and you all made me think maybe taking risk here or there isn't so bad sometimes :)_

_Also thanks to Jana for talking me down from a ledge or two this time around. You might not have been seeing this chapter for a decade or two if it weren't for her much needed influence and general pushiness. And I mean that in the nicest way ;)_

xx

"That's how I got my scar," Carlisle continued quietly. "I believe James took the piece that would have fit here," he tapped the pink mark that brushed his cheek, "as a trophy. Or perhaps he burned it to ensure I would forever be marked. It's healed over, but it doesn't look quite like it once did. "

"I can't believe they would stoop so low," I muttered, dumbfounded by the entire tale. I had been rendered speechless for the majority of it, my bewilderment ensuring I had nothing insightful to contribute.

My uncharacteristic silence was distressing Carlisle and the others. They were worried that the revelations would permanently damage the friendships we had built.

It wasn't that I was purposefully holding a grudge – though I was certainly still upset no one had made it a priority to tell me before today – it was the only way I knew how to deal with the life-altering information that was being thrown at me. Reuniting with Bella had lightened my mood considerably but the underlying tension stemming from the fact I'd been lied to for weeks remained.

I had wanted answers. The ones I received were not what I had been expecting.

The visuals and accompanying emotions that ran a torrent through Carlisle's mind as he recounted his story were simultaneously amazing and horrifying. The clarity with which he remembered my mother and I was touching, his affection for us evident. As a human nearing the end of my mortal life, I'd been so fragile and broken. Yet Carlisle treated each of his patients, myself included, with the utmost care and respect, simply because we were living beings. Then there was the way he had been mercilessly bulldozed by James.

My opinion of my former coven mates had reached an all time low. I had never imagined they could be so cruel to a vampire who had no hope of overpowering them. Carlisle's only crime had been to save me from certain death.

Sensing how tense I'd become, Bella's arm tightened around my waist, fisting the shirt Esme had given me to replace my torn one. I drew her closer, pulling her body against the length of mine. As always, having her near brought peace of mind.

Carlisle smiled weakly. "It was a very difficult time for me. If I hadn't found Esme shortly thereafter, I don't know what would have become of me. She saved my life, more than I ever did hers." Esme sidled up to him, soothing him with a silent hand to the small of his back. His pained expression remained, despite her best efforts.

"I attempted to locate you, but as you're probably well aware, James and Victoria are far more powerful than I am. Even with Eleazar's help, I didn't get very far. We lost their trail less than a mile from my home. As it turns out, James and Victoria were the reckless pair the guard had been sent to deal with. My understanding is that the problem dissolved and the Volturi decided return to Italy rather than pursue the issue."

"It's true," Eleazar chimed in. "James and Victoria were the reason we had been summoned to Chicago. That was before Aro acquired Demetri. Our tracking methods were quite archaic. They evaded us quite easily as a result, and unfortunately, when they ceased their conspicuous hunting practices – due to your presence, we believe – Aro called for us to return to Italy. Second chances were much easier to come by once upon a time. We never quite understood why they felt the need involve you, however."

"James said it was Victoria's idea," I said quietly. "They overheard you tell Carlisle that you thought I would be able to read minds. She thought she could use that to her advantage."

Eleazar smiled wanly. "It's fortunate my prediction wasn't far from the truth, if that's the case. It seems probable they would have killed you, if it had turned out that I was incorrect."

"Regardless of how or why it happened," Carlisle said solemnly, "I created you and then failed to protect you and for that I am sorry."

I nodded. Though Carlisle carried the heavy weight of guilt, I didn't blame him for his inability to fend off James and Victoria. I had always known their combined gifts made them a formidable force. I'd been overpowered and outsmarted by them often enough myself. It wouldn't have been fair to expect Carlisle to fare any better than I had.

"Please know that I did not forget about you," he continued. "I didn't know where you were or what they wanted with you. Or if you were alive at all, for that matter. You remained in the back of my mind over the decades. Whenever we would relocate, I would wonder if perhaps you lived there, too. It wasn't until more than thirty years later–"

"Alice," I interrupted quietly, realizing that she would have held the key to the information he was seeking.

"Yes. She told me how you had helped her survive James and Victoria. Edward, when she told me what you had done, I was relieved, I was thankful and above all I was immensely proud. It was vindication, proof of the goodness I knew you had within you."

I shrugged nonchalantly, unaccustomed to accepting praise.

Bella squeezed my hip. "Oh, now you're modest. But during gym class…" she whispered into my shirt. My heart lightened at the teasing note in her voice, as I'm sure she knew it would. I loved that she knew me so well.

Carlisle chuckled at Bella's comment. "I hope you understand how proud I am of you. Even without guidance and positive role models you have evolved into a beautiful person. I don't regret my choice to change you and I highly doubt there is anything that will ever change that."

"Why did you keep it a secret then?" I asked coolly, not quite prepared to hand over all my trust to him again. "Don't you think I deserved to know weeks ago? If it weren't for James, would you have ever told me?"

I sympathized with everything that he had gone through. There was no doubt in my mind that our separation had been an unfortunate twist of fate. However the fact remained that he had had ample opportunity to tell me the truth. Instead he had lied by omission and he had yet to explain to me why he had done it.

Carlisle looked down, chastened by the question. "I didn't know how much you remembered, if anything. You were already so reluctant to trust us. I didn't want you to think I was using our history as leverage to steal you away from your coven and end up scaring you away. I thought perhaps if we built a solid relationship prior to my confession, you would be more comfortable with the idea and more willing to give me a chance to explain."

"I suppose you got everything you wanted then." I tried to keep the disdain out of my tone, but failed miserably. "I'm still listening to you, aren't I?"

He shook his head. "Not at all. You're hurt by the manner in which you discovered the truth. I don't blame you. Please believe it was never my intention to hurt you. I should have known better than to assume that I knew what was best for you. It was selfish of me to withhold the truth from you and I'm sorry I did."

I inhaled deeply, allowing strength of Bella's scent to overwhelm my senses and distract me. No matter how her scent taunted and tempted me, it was a soothing balm, reminding me she was near. As always, I drew strength from her nearness.

"I accept your apology," I said quietly. I meant it; I didn't agree with the decision Carlisle had made but there was no use harbouring resentment. Regardless of all that had happened, I did care about all of the Cullens. I was willing to let the past rest and look towards the future.

"But it's been a long day. I'd like some time to myself to process. If you don't mind, I think Bella and I would like to take our leave for the night." I looked to her for confirmation; she smiled warmly at me, saying without words that she would be there however I needed her.

"Of course. That's understandable," Carlisle agreed readily. "Your room is always open to you, if you would like to use it."

While I appreciated the offer, I didn't feel comfortable processing the day's events within hearing distance of all the Cullens. I needed some time away from all of their thoughts and suggestions and hopes and worries. They were already far too embroiled in the proceedings. I wanted my thoughts to myself for a few hours. Now that I was confident James was no longer a threat, I felt perfectly comfortable bringing Bella to a nearby hotel where we could be alone. I was about to tell them so when Esme spoke.

"Sweetheart?" she addressed Carlisle, but winked at me knowingly. "Perhaps the kids would be more comfortable in the cottage? I'm under the impression Edward is feeling stifled by our intrusion into his headspace. I think he might appreciate a little distance while he comes to terms with everything he's learned. If he remains nearby, we can keep an eye on him and Bella in case of an emergency."

I suddenly understood why Carlisle had been so inexplicably drawn to my mother. Esme and Elizabeth were alike in more than just their looks. I had never been more appreciative of her motherly compassion than in that moment.

"Brilliant as always," he complimented. "I'm sorry I didn't think of it first."

"If you would like, it's yours for the night," Esme offered.

Bella squeezed me, silently telling me the choice was mine.

"That would be lovely, thank you."

xx

The cottage was everything I would have expected from the Cullens. It was tiny, but somehow, the limited space managed to seem cozy rather than cramped. Warm wood furnishings and fabrics in a rich blue decorated the space. It was the massive sleigh bed in the centre of the room that dominated attention, however.

"Wow," Bella mouthed, her eyes wide as she took it in. "That's what I call a bed! Do you think if we break my mattress again I could convince Alice to get me one of these instead?"

"Bella," I admonished. I didn't like talking about the incident which had resulted in the destruction of her mattress. It only served as a reminder of how close I had come to hurting her.

She bounded onto the bed, sinking into the plush duvet that covered it. Poking her head out from the mountain of bedding that surrounded her, she gestured for me to join her with a brilliant smile. I climbed up next to her, kneeling beside her sprawled form. Even as gigantic as the bed was, she had splayed her arms and legs so that she took up most of the available space.

"Relax. I'm just joking. How would we explain that one to my dad? We'll just have to make use of this one while we're here."

She sat up, running her small fingers over the knots in my shoulders. My flesh was too solid to yield under her touch but the warmth of her hands on me felt incredible. The day's stresses seemed less important when she was touching me.

I shivered. For the briefest moment I allowed my mind to wander over the possibilities.

"How do you propose we do that?" I willed myself to match her playfulness. I knew I was susceptible to brooding at times. Fortunately, Bella appeared to be the antidote to my bad moods. I hated the thought of ruining our time together.

As nice as her hands felt on my shoulders, I needed her in my arms right then. They were nearly twitching with the compulsion to hold her.

At my prompting, she laid her head on my chest and curled a leg around one of mine. I could feel the day's tension begin to melt away, Bella's lightness seeping in to replace my dark. It was so easy to wrap myself up in her and forget the world existed. For the first time in hours I felt relaxed. I would happily remain like this for as long as she would let me.

"I'm open to anything," she breathed, her words hot against my shoulder. Something in the vicinity of my stomach twisted expectantly. Did she have any idea what she did to me?

I lifted my lips to hers, unsure how to express the swell of affection for her any other way. As always, she was soft and responsive. Her fingers combed through the hair at the back of my neck.

"This is nice," she murmured. Her hands framed my face, serious brown peering down at me. "You know that I love kissing you and if that's what you feel like doing, I'm all for it, trust me. But please don't use it as an excuse not to talk to me. I'm here to listen. You know that, don't you? You can tell me anything. You don't always have to be my protector. Let me help you, too."

I considered the request. There were things I wanted to share with her but they could wait. Tonight we could exist in our little bubble. I wanted to soak up all the comfort she had to offer and forget my troubles. Tomorrow we could worry about dealing with the outside world.

"All I've done today is talk," I admitted. "I'm tired of talking. I just want to feel close to you. If today has taught me anything, it's how much I need you. I love you so much."

I pulled her face back to mine for a quick peck.

She brushed a finger over my forehead, tracing my eyebrows. "Okay, but remember, the offer stands. No bottling stuff up and internalizing everything until you can't hold it in any longer. If you're upset, I want to be the first to know."

I laughed at her determined expression. I loved that she cared enough to make sure I knew she would listen. I loved that she made me laugh even more. But most of all, I just loved her. I told her so, again. It didn't matter that I'd told her less than a minute ago. I would never be able to tell her enough.

She smiled her wide, happy smile at me. "Hearing that never gets old."

"I'll tell you every single day of forever," I promised, kissing her eyelids. She yawned. "Tired?"

"A little. I think I want take a quick shower before I go to bed, though. Esme gave me some sweats to change into while you were gone but I didn't get to shower. I feel a little gross."

She looked at me with concern when my arms didn't loosen from around her. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to be separated from you right now," I explained quietly, feeling stupid and juvenile for asking her to stay. I was positive that, if left to my own devices, my mind would slip into overdrive. As I had explained to her, I wasn't in the mood to think yet. Once she fell asleep I would have plenty of time alone with my thoughts.

Bella nodded, seeming to understand my dilemma without further explanation. I considered, for the first time, how difficult it must have been for her to wait for me to return, knowing all the while that I was conferencing with a sadistic killer.

"You could always come with me," she offered readily. "This thing," she waved her cast at me, "makes some things difficult. I could use some help reaching certain areas."

The timidity I was used to seeing from her regarding sexual matters was long gone. In place of the shy girl I had once known was someone confident and effortlessly sultry. It struck me how far we had come in the last few weeks. We had progressed from tentative first touches to two people who were comfortable with one another and shared intimacy.

If I were to agree, it would be the first time we'd ever seen one another completely naked. We had explored one another often enough but layers of clothes and blankets had always remained preventing complete exposure.

She slid off the luxurious bed and extended a hand to me. Though she tried to hide it, I recognized a spark of nervousness. After everything we had been through together, she was still afraid I might reject her. I hated that she considered it a possibility.

I took her proffered hand but instead of allowing her to lead me into the gleaming bathroom, I settled on the edge of the bed and pulled her to stand between my knees. I wanted her to know she could ask me anything.

"I would love nothing more." I kissed her temple softly.

She beamed at me. "Really?"

"Are you kidding? Being wet and naked with you? Absolutely." I traced her clothed hip with my free hand, imagining what it might feel like bare and slick under a stream of warm water. "I believe that's what they call a dream come true."

She squeezed my hand so tightly her knuckles turned white. "So what are you waiting for, then? Let's make some dreams come true."

I allowed her to pull me into the immaculate marble bathroom. We stood surrounded by white, holding hands, both unsure how to make the next move.

"I can't believe we're going to do this," she confessed. "When I suggested it, I thought for sure you would say no."

I tucked her hair behind her ear. "Never be afraid to ask me anything. I know I'm set in my ways and that sometimes we may not see eye to eye on certain issues but I only ever want to make you happy."

She hugged me. "I know."

"And because I'm such a gentleman, and care so much about your happiness, I'm going to let you choose the temperature," I teased.

There wasn't a moment's hesitation in her answer.

"Hot."

Her cheeks tinted red. I paid no attention, not wanting to draw attention to her embarrassment. "That will probably be most comfortable for you. My skin will be arctic next to yours. It might make me feel more normal."

"You are normal to me," she insisted, busying herself twisting and turning the various knobs that controlled the flow of water into the frosted glass shower stall. It didn't take long before the bathroom began to fill with plumes of steam.

"Do you need to tape up your cast to keep it dry?"

She shook her head. "Nope. Dr. Cullen used waterproof padding."

Bella fingered my shirt tails hesitantly. I lifted her fingers to the row of buttons. She set about undoing them at an achingly slow pace. Once I had shed my shirt, she placed my hands on the hem of hers. I pulled it over her head.

We continued undressing one another one article at a time until we were left standing in only our underwear.

"You're wearing boxers," she told me when she had undone my belt and let my pants fall to the floor. "Usually you go commando."

"What?" I laughed. I'd never heard the term before. That was a rarity. I'd heard all sorts of odd phrases in people's thoughts over the years.

"You know, not wearing underwear?"

"Oh. Most the time I find them unnecessary but it seemed more appropriate to wear an extra layer with a suit. More formal."

I pulled her back against my chest, relishing the fiery warmth of her heat against me. I slid one of my hands down smooth, bare skin, over soft feminine curves and across flat stomach, stopping only when I reached her sweet cotton panties, the only article of clothing remaining on her. I stroked the little hot pink bow decorating the front of them. The little bow was probably intended to be sweet and innocent but somehow managed to be the most erotic thing I'd ever seen.

I suddenly respected the fascination most of the male population had with women's undergarments. I had never understood how bits of cloth and thread could elicit such intense reactions. Now that Bella was standing in front of me wearing only a pair of simple cotton panties, it all snapped into sense. Innocent though they were, those panties stirred something primal inside of me. My body responded of its own volition.

"These are adorable," I told her, stroking a finger along the band of the maddening garment. "I almost don't want to see them go."

She laughed, twining her fingers with mine. "How do you expect me to get clean?"

"You don't need to be worrying about getting clean," I whispered into her hair. "I'll be very thorough, I promise."

"I'll hold you to that." She turned in my arms so we were facing one another. "We better get inside. We don't want the water to get cold."

I shook my head, unable to resist teasing her. "No, definitely not. We know how much you like it hot."

She rolled her eyes at me. "Do you want me to kick you out?"

"You wouldn't."

"No," she agreed, "I wouldn't. Are you gonna get naked and get in or not?" She snapped the waistband of my boxers.

"I'll get in," I promised. "But you're coming with me."

I lifted her into my arms easily and pulled her into the shower with me, underwear and all. I moved so quickly she had no hope of resisting me.

"Edward!" she screeched once she realized what had happened.

I set her on her feet. The shower stall wasn't particularly large, so we were forced to stand close together. Not that I minded in the least. The closer the better.

It was equipped with multiple showerheads that shot at us from every angle. It didn't take long until we were both soaked. She was gorgeous dripping wet, with her hair plastered to her face, her skin pinked by the balmy heat. Mixed with the steam, her scent filled the stall, weaving all around me. Every one of my senses was filled with her.

"Sorry, love," I told her insincerely. She let me kiss her, so I knew she wasn't truly upset with me for the stunt.

"You're lucky I love you," she told me when I had released her. "But just for that you're going first." Without further warning, she yanked my sopping boxers down to my feet. I don't think I would have protested even if she had. I knew how we felt about one another. That helped banish any self-consciousness I might have felt.

Instead of the chill of nerves, I felt warm under her scrutiny. The small smile that lit her face told me all I needed to know.

"It's not fair," she muttered, once she had gotten in her fill of staring. "You're so damn beautiful in every way. You sure know to make a girl feel inadequate."

I pulled her slick body against mine. She was even warmer than usual under the stream of heated water. "Inadequate is not a word you get to use to describe yourself. Ever. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Stunning. Radiant. Luminescent. Those words have my endorsement. Any additions to the list must be approved by me."

"Clumsy?" she suggested cheekily, her eyes tilting to mine defiantly.

"Denied," I said firmly. "You're perfect the way you are. When you tip over, it gives me an excuse to catch you."

She didn't say anything, she simply hugged me tighter. Having her soft weight pressed against me was nice but it only served to remind me of the one layer that remained between us.

"Your turn," I whispered.

She didn't protest when I bent to help her step out of her pink-bow panties. I could have ripped them off of her and been done quicker but I was determined to see them on her again. Someday.

Her fingers twisted into my wet hair, pulling my face towards hers before my eyes could linger too long. I was aware she was attempting to distract me. There was nothing for her to be nervous about.

I could have stared at her perfect form for hours. The image of her bare, water streaming freely down her body, would be branded in my head for all eternity. Soft milky skin, gently sloped in all the right places…

Over the decades I'd seen thousands upon thousands of naked women ranging in all shapes, sizes and ethnicities, as pictured by men that appreciated them. Bella outshined them all. There was something about the natural, effortless beauty she radiated that struck a chord in me. Or perhaps it was the simple fact that I knew she was mine. A possessive male part of me swelled with pride, confident that only I would ever have this part of her.

"You're gorgeous," I reassured her, my thumbs gently skimming the outside swell of her breasts. Satisfaction swept my senses when her body responded, instantly tightening under my touch.

She plucked a bottle of shampoo from the well-stocked shower rack. "Can I wash your hair?"

"Are you going to be able to do that?" I looked at her cast doubtfully. She still had use of all of her fingers, but it seemed the limited range of motion would complicate the process of lathering shampoo.

"How do you think I've been washing myself the last few weeks?"

I kissed her neck. "You told me you needed help in the shower because the cast makes things – and I believe this is a direct quote – 'difficult.'"

She shrugged innocently. "I may have been stretching the truth a little bit. Can you blame me? What was it you said? Oh right. Seeing me wet and naked would be a dream come true. Well, ditto."

"Crafty." I laughed, kneeling before her so she could reach the top of my head.

"That's right, get on your knees," she teased. If only she knew I was on my knees for her more often than not.

"For you, always."

Even the seemingly innocent touches of her hands on my scalp were maddening. I had grown to love the feel of her hands on me, innocently or otherwise. At first, it had been a challenge, resisting the draw of her blood when I let my instincts dominate my consciousness. Now I knew I could survive without human blood. I would not survive without Bella.

While she rubbed her hands through my hair, building a foamy lather, I kissed the smooth skin surrounding her bellybutton, encouraging myself to remain calm. All too soon she turned me to face one of the showerheads.

"I love your hair. It's so soft but strangely durable," she said playfully, washing the suds from my head, taking care not to get any of the soap in my eyes. My chest squeezed at the unnecessary care she took.

"It has to be. What we have at the time of our change is all we'll have for eternity," I explained. "It never grows back. See how much I trust you? You could turn me bald for the rest of my existence."

She laughed. "I like your hair too much. Besides, I've pulled on it often enough. It's pretty resilient." She scratched her fingers through the hair at the back of my neck and pulled, as if I needed another demonstration; I was well aware of her propensity for hair pulling. I also knew how much I liked it when she did.

"Ow," I complained, rubbing the spot melodramatically and pretending to look down the drain for lost hair. "I think I just lost a few strands forever." She slapped my shoulder lightly. I grabbed her hand, kissing it before she could retreat. "Sorry. I meant thank you."

I stood, combing my hands through her wet hair, gathering it along her spine. It was longer and darker than I was used to seeing it. "Is it my turn now?"

She nodded, handing me the shampoo bottle. "Let's see what you've got."

"I think you've seen everything I have to offer, Bella," I teased. "But this isn't about me. It's about you."

I had enjoyed her washing my hair but being able to reciprocate was a new pleasure in and of itself. The little hums and sighs she emitted as I massaged the shampoo into her scalp were just as maddening as having her hands on me. I loved being the one to draw those sounds from her lips.

"There," I said proudly once I had carefully rinsed every strand.

Wordlessly she handed me another bottle with a big smile and pleading eyes. Conditioner, I read off the label. It was not something I had ever had a use for, but then I had never bathed my human girlfriend before. I hastily I read the label and followed the directions, pleased to find Bella seemed happy with my competence.

After I'd rinsed her head a second time, she laid it on my shoulder, tilting back just enough to meet my eyes. "Thank you. That was amazing. I think I understand why some girls like going to hair salons so much, now."

I kissed her ear. "Anytime you want a repeat, day or night, you know where to find me." It would certainly be preferable to her going out and paying another man to put his hands on her in the name of providing a service. The possessive part of me did not like that idea at all. Nor did any other part, for that matter.

She raised a questioning eyebrow at me. "Anytime? I might hold you to that."

"Not a problem," I assured, retrieving the body wash so I would have an excuse to touch her again. Keeping my hands in strictly innocent places for as long as I had, had been torturous. "I keep my promises."

She took the soap from me, lathering it between her fingers. Words fell away as we washed one another. All I could concentrate on were my hands on her and hers on me.

The delicious feel of her skin, pert under my fingers… just enough flesh to make a perfect handful caused something low in my stomach to tighten and tingle, twisting with anticipation.

When her small hand gripped the most excited part of me, liquid soap contributing to smooth strokes, I knew I was in trouble.

What had started as an innocent shower was about to degenerate into something much less chaste. The wicked smirk on Bella's face told me she had intended it from the beginning. I had to admire her well laid plans. I had never had a hope of resisting. After the day's events, I needed this connection that I would only ever share with her.

"Good?" she whispered into my neck, slyly. She was fully aware of what she was doing to me.

I nodded, leaning helplessly against the granite shower for support, praying I wouldn't damage anything. The ruined mattress had been bad enough. I could only imagine the reaction a shower stall cracked under suspicious circumstances would elicit from the others.

"You're doing even better than last time, baby," she murmured into my skin. "Do you remember?"

Of course I remembered. I nodded again, unable to grasp the words to respond.

"Good. Just like last time. No one is going to get hurt. Just concentrate on how good it feels. Absorb the pleasure."

Once again I nodded. I was fairly certain I would have done anything she asked of me. Anything at all.

This time I was determined nothing would be broken. I did exactly as she asked, blanking my mind and absorbing the sensations. It didn't take long for me to reach breaking point. Bella seemed to understand when I was on the verge of losing control.

She cupped my cheek with her free hand, demanding I look at her. I don't know how she knew it would help, but the sight of warm brown flecked with copper instilled an instant calmness. This was Bella. We were meant to be together in this way. In every way.

As my climax washed over me, I kept my gaze focused on Bella's. The world beyond her face blurred and faded away and then returned in even sharper focus than before. She was peering up at me, her pride evident on her face.

She hugged me tightly. "You didn't break anything." The words were so softly spoken, I felt them vibrate over my skin more than I heard them.

I looked around to confirm; I couldn't find anything amiss. I could hardly contain my surprise at my findings or lack thereof. "It seems that way."

"I told you that you could do it. Remember what Eleazar said? Control. You just need to harness it."

"I still think he's seeing something that isn't there," I insisted. "Why does my gift need to extend beyond mind reading? Isn't that enough?"

She shrugged, repressing a slight shiver. We had been running the water for so long that it was starting to droop in warmth. I was thankful my body took on the temperature of my surroundings; I was still warmed from the shower. For once my nearness would keep Bella warm.

"I'm safe, you're safe. Everything is working out for the best. Do you really think it's all just a coincidence? It shouldn't be possible for us to be together like this. Maybe he has a point?"

"I suppose," I agreed, turning the taps to shut off the water. "Come on." I lifted her into my arms. She wrapped herself around me eagerly, sinking against my abnormally warm body. "Let me take you to bed."

We didn't bother with towels. I deposited her directly on the bed, pausing only long enough to lift the down comforter. I slid in behind Bella, wrapping myself around her.

"You're so warm," she told me, snuggling her back against my chest.

"Which is why most vampires love a hot shower. This is as close to feeling human as I'll ever get."

She turned in my arms to place a series of kisses on my face. "You still feel like Edward to me. I love Edward."

She cuddled into my side, laying her head on my chest. I stroked her back lightly, encouraging her to relax. I loved it when she fell asleep half on top of me. I could listen to the rhythmic sounds of her breathing mix with the steady pound of her heartbeat for hours. With every exhale, her body pressed closer to mine, yet never close enough.

Instead of taking the opportunity to rest, Bella's fingers found my chest, caressing and stroking bare flesh. It seemed she was in a playful mood tonight. Perhaps playful wasn't the correct word.

Her hands scratched lightly through the sparse hair on my chest, skimming down to my stomach and lower and back again, on a repeated cycle I was quite sure had been crafted with the sole purpose of torturing me.

I could only lay silently while Bella continued her hand wandering. Her caresses were innocent, sensual but hardly sexual. There was nothing for me to protest.

Her fingers would come close to breaching tenuously set boundaries and then deftly dance away. It was all me and my inability to get her naked body and the new possibilities it presented out of my head. Each time her hand would stop just short of providing relief, my mind would wander, mentally closing the gap for her.

I struggled against my instincts, reassuring myself she would fall asleep soon, that she wasn't aware of what she was doing to me.

That theory was quickly put to rest when one of her pinkies innocently grazed a nipple. It was a barely there touch, but it wasn't accidental.

My body knew it. I knew it. Bella's smirk told me she knew it.

"Bella. What are you doing?"

"Shh…" She licked her lips and pressed them to mine, swallowing my protests. Then she was on top of me, the heat of her centre pressing against my stomach. My aroused body reacted without consent.

My hands found their way to her hips. My lips returned her kiss. It felt as though my body was running on autopilot, doing what it wanted without my mind's permission.

"We're ready," Bella told me quietly, her words sure and confident.

Those words hit home reality like a splash of cold water to the face.

Bella thought we were ready to make love.

xx

_Erm, so you guys can probably guess what's coming next. Thirty-one chapters is long enough to wait, no?_

_My question to you is… would you rather see it in EPOV or BPOV? I haven't started writing it, and I'm torn. I'm sure either of them will have some interesting things to share. So thoughts on which perspective you'd like to see would be greatly appreciated ;)_

_As always, thanks for reading (and I hope) enjoying :)_


	32. Ecstasy

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing. This time the latter is actually well and truly applicable, so if that offends you, now would be a good time to bounce._

_**Chapter: **__Thirty-two; Ecstasy _

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_**AN:**__ I suppose this chapter has been a long time coming. I won't say much more except that I hope it lives up to expectations. This is my first time writing a lemon for a multi-chapter story, and I'm quite nervous about it. I would love to hear what you think, constructive criticism and all :)_

_Thanks to both Jana and Karene who played a role in getting this final product to you :) And also, thank you to all of you who have brought this story over 500 reviews, that's so unbelievably awesome :)_

xx

_Bella thought we were ready to make love._

The raw certainty in her eyes told me she wasn't rushing into it just because she could. This was something she wanted. Something we _both_ wanted. Terror and elation warred somewhere on the edge of my consciousness. Elation edged out the terror just enough.

Soft lips traveled up my neck and across my chin, settling against my ear. She bit lightly, wet hair trailing over my skin, a deliciously cool contrast to the heat of her mouth. I shivered, a shot of something akin to adrenaline making its way down my spine.

Bella took my hums as permission, which I supposed they were; I didn't have the willpower to stop her now. My instinct to say no was buried under a half ton of desire. Somehow, I didn't think I would mourn the loss.

I returned her affections hungrily, letting her dictate. With Bella at the reins, I could give her what she wanted without the risk of hurting her. I trusted her judgment explicitly. She might be reckless at times but she would tell me if we were pushing beyond her comfort zone.

She seemed to be in no hurry to stop. She ground her centre against me, sensual sounds that only increased my willingness to submit to her pouring from her lips. I settled my hands on her waist, caressing whatever naked skin I could reach. It was achingly soft… delicate.

"I'm ready," she told me, her voice thick. "Are you?"

Cautiously, as if I was the one in danger of being injured, she took my hand, guiding it between her legs. I followed her direction, letting her lower my hand to the fiery wetness of her most intimate parts. She need not have demonstrated her readiness. Her scent permeated the air all around us. If there was a scent that had the power to inebriate a vampire, it would be Bella's when she was like this.

She was absolutely breathtaking. Her perfect skin was brushed petal pink, flushed with happiness, her need for me – _me_ – written all over her angelic face. Droplets of water from the shower lingered, daring me to lick each and every one off of her.

"I want to be," I whispered, focusing on the beads of water with every ounce of mental strength I possessed. The distraction was the only thing stopping me from giving in and ravaging her on the spot. No matter how strongly I desired her, the voice that demanded Bella's needs came first would not be ignored.

She kissed my forehead tenderly. "Don't be afraid."

I skimmed my hands down the smooth velvet of thighs, reminding myself that this was Bella, the girl I loved. She deserved the best. I desperately wanted to abolish the fear that my best wouldn't be good enough but I couldn't, not completely.

"If I hurt you…" I didn't dare finish the sentence, not wanting to consider the possibilities.

"You won't. If you could guarantee that I would be safe, what would _you_ want?"

"To make love to you," I admitted. The answer came easily but it was a revelation, even to me. I had known that I wanted her in every way she would have me but I had never let myself say the words aloud. I realized wanted to feel what it was like to make love to her more than anything.

"I want that so, so much," she echoed the sentiment, stroking my hair. "I want it all _with you_. If you won't trust yourself, then trust me. Please. I need to know what it's like to feel you inside of me."

What little willpower had stubbornly stuck with me vanished without further notice.

"Oh god, Bella, yes. Please."

I prided myself on being rather eloquent. That had flown out the window. Desperation for her raged in the pit of my stomach. With a few words she had captured my longing for her, twisting what had once been simple desire into a frantic need. She had me in the palm of her hand. No matter what happened from here on out, I was hers to do with as she wished. Whatever she desired, if it was mine to give, it was hers.

"I know, baby, I know." She smiled at me beatifically, her pleasure at my incoherent response written all over her face.

She squirmed, grinding herself against me. I raised my hands above my head to grip a pillow as irresistible tingles began to spread outward. I could feel my instinct to take more beginning to spiral out. If I kept my hands away from her I couldn't hurt her. My eyes squeezed shut as I focused on keeping my control chained.

"I want to see your eyes." Bella's fingers were soft on my cheek but it was a command not a request.

Shakily I nodded, not trusting myself not to speak. Slowly, I dragged my eyes to hers. My reward was a soft kiss that quickly grew less delicate.

Pulling away, she waited until she was satisfied that I wasn't going to break our gaze before she lifted her hips and began to lower herself onto me. Inch by searing inch, heat began to spread.

Her expression told me it wasn't comfortable for her but she persevered, refusing to let me withdraw. I kept my eyes tethered to the chocolate of hers, allowing them to ground me.

When she had lowered herself several inches, she froze, her body rigid and her thighs clamped tightly around my hips as she adjusted to my size. Her eyes closed in discomfort. I ignored the roaring need pulsing in my lower half. Bella needed me. She came first. She would always come first.

I had known from the start that causing her some pain would be inevitable. We had been lucky she hadn't bled. That was partly why I had dreaded this moment. With that obstacle out of the way, I felt marginally more confident. The intensity of being connected to her so intimately was still there but eliminating the dangerous pull of blood, I could concentrate well enough to make it an enjoyable experience for her.

"Love?" I touched her cheek gently, taking the utmost care to ensure my touch was as soft as I intended. She opened her eyes to mine willingly, uneasiness clear in her expression.

"You have to unclench… it will lessen the pain. Please, sweetheart. I hate seeing you like this," I pleaded, my thumb stroking her where we were joined. I hoped the added stimulation of her most sensitive skin would help her relax. Slowly she did; like a spring flower unfurling, the tension slipped from her body.

When she sunk down onto me even further, my name a whisper on my lips, I knew everything was going to be okay. Better than okay. My hips flexed to meet hers without consent, already greedy for more.

The moment I was fully sheathed in her, the certainty that this was somewhere I was meant to be was staggering. She was so perfectly fitted to me that I was positive we had been crafted to be together this way. All words were inadequate. I would be forever grateful that she had chosen me to share this with.

"Edward," she whimpered, shifting her hips against mine and rocking herself into my hand. "Yes, more. Just. Like. That."

"Anything you want, love," I encouraged, twisting my free hand into her still damp hair. "Tell me what you need."

"I want you to touch me." She disentangled my hand from her hair, placing it on her breast. I stroked the puckered skin, raising my head just enough to place a soft kiss on the opposite nipple. It too puckered, following the lead of its sister.

"Yes, more." Bella thrust her chest against my mouth. I was only too willing to submit. The sweet saltiness of her skin was nothing short of an indulgence. I sucked gently, flicking the pebbled skin with my tongue using as much force as I dared. The coil in my stomach tightened as she blossomed and purred beneath my lips.

"Bella," I hummed around her skin. Her heartbeat pounded frantically. In place of the thirst usually associated with the sound, there was only more desire.

"Oh, yes. God, oh. Feels. So. Good. Edward…" She circled her hips against mine impatiently.

I had feared that the sensations would be so intense that I would be lost to them and unable to focus on restraining myself from hurting her. It had been a wasted fear. If anything, I was more aware of her than ever before. Every tiny, insignificant movement she made was amplified; every single one of my heightened senses plugged directly into her. Her needs were as apparent to me as my own.

"Edward," she moaned, grinding against me again. I groaned, too, reminded of the mounting ache in my own body.

She didn't give any warning that she was going to move other than to flatten her palms against my chest. Her nails curled into my collar bone in an unintentionally seductive move. Tentatively, as if testing the waters, she lifted and then lowered herself just a fraction of an inch, her flesh scraping against mine deliciously. I felt every millimetre. All five of them.

Her name came out as a strangled whisper, my voice buried somewhere in the vicinity of my stomach.

Then she did it again. This time her stroke was deeper, more intense. My hand instinctively found her hip, holding her steady. She quickly graduated to faster strokes as she set an uneven pace for herself, her noises increasing in volume and pitch to match her movements.

I could do little more than meet her with carefully measured thrusts of my own as I wrangled with my desperate need for more. I let the pleasure overwhelm me briefly, concentrating on how incredible it felt to be within her. Vaguely I was aware of my own groans mingling with Bella's but they sounded distant compared to the sounds of her satisfaction.

I never would have pictured Bella to be the kind of girl who was particularly loud but for once I was pleased to be wrong. Her moans and babbled words of encouragement were nearly as gratifying as the act itself.

She slumped against my chest, leaning to press a hot kiss against my chin. I could tell she was growing tired by the frenzied pace she had set for herself. Her legs were growing wobbly, her chest rising and falling rapidly to match the tempo of her pounding heartbeat. I held her snugly against me; I had missed the feeling of her soft, warm curves pressed against my chest.

I stroked her damp hair from her forehead, kissing her sweaty skin while she rested. "How are you feeling?"

"Amazing," she breathed into my neck in between pants. "I feel absolutely amazing. I can't believe… Why the hell did we wait so long?"

I had no good answer to that question. Fear seemed like a distant memory.

My hands skimmed along the ridges of her spine, teasing, caressing bare skin. "You're getting tired." I cursed myself for not foreseeing this problem. I had been so worried about making sure she was safe and in charge that I had neglected to do my part to make this an enjoyable experience for her. I planned to rectify that immediately.

"A little," she admitted reluctantly, kissing my collarbone. "But if you think we're stopping now, you're out of your mind."

I chuckled. We both halted, the vibrations causing tremors of pleasure in the places we were joined. "Not exactly what I had in mind."

"What did you have–"I reversed our position so that she lay beneath me before she could finish. "–in mind. Oh." She grinned, hooking her legs around my hips. "Carry on."

I kissed a nipple softly. "That's precisely what I intend to do." She groaned her appreciation and arched her back, her hips swiveling against mine.

In this position, all the control was mine. I would need to take added precautions to be sure I didn't hurt her. My senses were so attuned to her at the moment, I was optimistic I could handle it.

Resting my elbows on either side of her, I pushed into her gently, listening for changes in the sound of her breathing, the colour of her skin, the pattern of her heartbeat… any sign that would indicate discomfort. There were none. Instead, she matched my every movement, her hips eagerly lifting beneath mine, begging for friction.

I set a quick but gentle rhythm, pausing periodically to kiss whatever flesh I could reach. The bare curves of her breasts were particularly tantalizing in this position; they bounced and begged for my attention.

Her hips lifted to mine encouragingly but it rapidly became apparent that something was missing. Her sighs and moans had diminished to contented hums and purrs. I desperately wanted the irrepressible babbling back. I settled one hand between us, resuming stroking her soft, wet flesh. She met my hand eagerly, pressing against me, seeking more.

"Yes," she whimpered breathily, fisting my hair. "Oh, Edward. So good. Yes, yes."

I kissed her neck, pleased by the return of her vocalizations. "Yes, that's it, love. I love hearing you. Let me hear how good you feel," I breathed into her ear. The sound of her voice gave me something to concentrate on besides the overwhelming pleasure twisting low in my stomach.

"Edward, I think… I'm, oh… yes. Almost. Just, yes, a little, oh yes–" Her legs tightened around me. I could feel her toes curling against my back as her muscles coiled expectantly.

"Yes, I can feel you… so perfect, Bella. So perfect. Just for me." I sped my hips to meet the frantic gyrations of her hips. If that was what she needed from me to reach her climax, I would give it to her.

"Edward, Edward, Edward…"

She shattered beneath me, her back arching into where we were joined. Pride swelled in me as I watched her expressions communicate her euphoria. I desperately tried to ignore the tightness fluttering all around where we were intimately joined. Only once she relaxed did I allow my focus to return to the unbearable sensations building in my own body.

"So beautiful. Oh god, Bella, I…"

My hand slipped over the smooth wood of the headboard, unconsciously searching for something to take the brunt of the pressure straining to be released. I didn't care about the destruction that would be left behind as long as Bella was safe. She was my priority, always. I could kill Emmett later, if he made so much as an offhand remark.

Bella's hand on my chest stopped me before any damage could be done. The wood creaked under my grip but resisted snapping.

"Let go," she demanded, clutching my shoulders fiercely. "You can do this without a crutch. I _know_ you can. I trust you. Let me give you this."

Because she asked me to, I let go. As my grip on the headboard loosened, so did my grip on my body's instinctive reactions. I could hold back the mounting pleasure no longer. It sprung forth, spreading a fire through me that had little to do with warmth and everything to do with the beautiful girl beneath me. Never before had I felt such an overwhelming combination of love and happiness and pure, unadulterated exhilaration.

I pulled her to me, tucking my face into the crook of her neck as the tremulous pleasure rolled through my body. There was no worry I might hurt her, no worry that I might lose control. Even in the throes of climax, my body seemed to know instinctively that Bella was to be treasured and protected.

"See I told you, you don't need to break stuff," Bella declared smugly as I laid on top of her, dazed but alert enough to keep the majority of my weight off of her. Her skin was deliciously hot and damp beneath mine. If I could have, I would have fallen asleep right there on her chest.

"Okay, fine. You were right," I admitted sheepishly, pausing to kiss the curve of a breast.

I moved to lift myself off of her but Bella held me tight. "Don't go. Not yet."

I raised my head to kiss her. "I'm not going anywhere. Just moving. It can't be comfortable for you to have me laying on top you. I'm not exactly weightless."

She shrugged, combing her fingers through my hair. "I like having your weight on me. And being close to you."

"I like being close to you too but I'm bigger and stronger so… I win." I laid on my back, pulling her to rest on top of me.

She snuggled into my embrace. "Hmm, I think I can live with this. Are you a cuddly sleeper, Edward?"

"You act like we don't sleep together every night," I teased back.

Her lips curled against my chest, forming her soft, genuinely happy smile. "Never quite like this. I think I could get used to it. Actually, I'm pretty sure I will."

Her bliss was catching. I mirrored her grin without thinking about it. If I'd had any residual doubts that sex would alter our relationship before, they were laid to rest. We were closer and more unified than ever.

"One day at a time. You might be sore." The words felt dishonest on my tongue. I was quite certain that reverting back to our formerly chaste relationship would be impossible.

"Maybe. I don't think I'll care."

"I'll care. I only want to bring you pleasure." I stroked her back soothingly.

"You do." Her sleep softened voice told me she was on the verge of drifting off. I remained silent, not wanting to jar her awake. She needed her rest.

I kissed her forehead lightly. Warmth bubbled in my chest as the memories of what we had shared played in my head.

I'd thought that once she drifted off, my mind would speed into reverse, attempting to make sense of all confusion of the day. I was pleasantly surprised to find that in place of all the lies and confusion, there was only Bella.

xx

I set the breakfast tray I had prepared for Bella on the nightstand.

For some inexplicable reason – Alice's doing, I presumed – the little kitchenette in the cottage had been stocked with an exorbitant amount of food; more than enough to feed a small army and certainly more than Bella alone could possibly consume.

I'd never so much as cooked a slice of toast in my life. I had however lived in the same apartment building as a chef when James, Victoria and I lived in New York. Out of sheer curiosity I had gleaned a little knowledge. I hoped it would prove sufficient.

The most I dared attempt was a French omelette and a few slices of toast. I was nervous enough about presenting those to her. I wanted to show her how much her faith in me had meant by making her breakfast in bed. I wouldn't get that message across very well if I poisoned her.

Bella shifted under my touch but instead of waking, she buried her face in the lush pillows, burrowing away from the daylight shining through the windows. It was a rare day of sunshine in Forks.

"Mmhmph. G'way."

"Bella, love?" I tried again.

She blinked at me sleepily. "Edward? You're wearing clothes."

"So I am," I joked looking down at myself, amused by her groggy observation. I stroked her hair away from her face. "I made you breakfast. I thought you might be hungry after last night…" I presented the tray I had prepared with a nervous flourish.

She sat up to accept it, the smell of warm eggs penetrating her sleepy fog. As the covers fell away from her I fought the urge to stare at the bare skin revealed, not wanting to be ungentlemanly.

"That's so sweet. It smells really good, Edward." She kissed me, not at all fazed by being half-naked in front of me. "Thank you."

I crawled under the covers, settling next to her as she balanced the tray on her crossed legs. I was glad I had had the foresight to put on last night's clothes. Cuddled up next to Bella, both of us naked, would be asking for trouble. Newly armed with the knowledge of what it felt like to be joined to her, I wasn't sure I would be able to control myself.

"I tried my best. Don't feel obligated to finish if it's awful. I won't be offended."

She grabbed the silverware, immediately digging into the eggs. There was no hiding the expression of distaste that followed.

"Shit. I'm sorry Bella. I'm sure if we go to the Cullens, Esme will cook you something…"

To my dismay, she giggled. "I'm sorry. They're really very good. You just looked all cute and hopeful. I couldn't resist." To my great relief she forked another large bite, a huge grin on her face.

"You're cruel. I was genuinely concerned that I might poison you."

She shrugged, unrepentant, her mouth full of egg. "Consider it payback for the morning after I broke my arm, when you convinced me we had never kissed. I was terrified. I got over it. You love me anyway."

I kissed her hair. Letting her fall asleep with it still wet had resulted in a tangled mess. I thought she looked adorably disheveled. Like she'd just spent the night in my bed. The thought filled me with a strange sense of accomplishment.

"Yes, I do. Speaking of loving… how are you feeling?"

She paused, assessing her body for aches and pains. "I feel good, actually. A little achy in places, but it's a good ache. Reminds me it was all real."

"I'm glad."

It made me indescribably happy to know that I had been able to provide her that experience without unpleasant complications. She didn't have to miss out on or regret an important rite of passage because I wasn't a normal, human boy.

She leaned her head on my shoulder. "Me, too. I think I might need a little practice. Next time, it'll be even better."

"Practice is the way to improvement," I agreed.

Now that we had made love without cataclysmic results, the prospect of doing it again didn't seem nearly so intimidating. I found myself eager for the opportunity to give her pleasure without the pain.

"So what's the plan for today?" she mumbled, taking a sip of orange juice.

"That's up to you. It's Saturday, so we can do whatever you'd like. I need to talk to the Cullens before we leave, though. Last night we didn't resolve much. I wasn't the nicest to Carlisle."

"He's going to understand, Edward. He loves you. You couldn't have listened to him tell that story about how he found you and not understood that."

"He's not so bad. Yesterday I was wound up."

Bella pushed a piece of omelette around her plate. "I told you last night that I was here to listen. I meant that, you know. If you want to talk, I want to listen."

I kissed her temple. "Thank you for that, but last night you gave me exactly what I needed. Something I didn't know I needed. Being with you has put some things in perspective for me. I understand what's important to me, now."

While Bella had slept, I'd spent hours thinking. Thoughts of our night together had saturated my mind making it difficult to concentrate on anything else. At first it had frustrated me, until I realized I didn't want to think of anything else. I was happiest when I was thinking of Bella. All the day's other events were in the past. My future was with Bella.

"What's that?"

"You. Everything else is just… details. As long as I'm with you, I'll be happy. Carlisle may not have been forthcoming about the past but he was there for me when I needed him. When you broke your arm and I was in a blind panic, he was there to offer assistance. When I was terrified my way of life would be incompatible with being with you, he suggested an alternative. Those are the things that really matter. He helped me keep you."

She set her fork down, glancing at me uncertainly. I didn't blame her. Last night I had been all over the emotional map. Fortunately, the new day had brought with it some much needed clarity.

"You're sure you're okay with everything? The stuff with James, too? Not seeing him or Victoria any longer? You've been with them for such a long time…"

I nodded, I was more positive than ever that there was nothing for me to regret. It was apparent that I had meant very little to them as a person. Victoria had valued me for my gift, James not even for that. Their lack of respect for me hadn't even really come as a surprise. There had been evidence of their self-absorption from the beginning but I had refused to admit it was a problem. As the decades has passed, I had foolishly accepted them as family because I had never been offered an alternative. I'd assumed all covens were the same. Now that I knew that wasn't true, I wasn't going to make excuses for them any longer.

"Time spent together doesn't create a family. Love and respect do. We never had that."

Bella shoved her nearly empty tray to the foot of the bed and cuddled into my side. Once again I was very aware she was naked. I hugged her close nonetheless. "I'm sorry."

I shrugged. While I appreciated the concern, there was no need.

"Everything is working out for the best. I have you and the Cullens. James and Victoria were a phase in my life that should be erased from memory."

"I'm happy you're not going to be around them any more," she said quietly. "From the day that you told me you got into a fight with James, before I ever knew what he was capable of, I…"

I shushed her before she could continue. Those days were behind us. I'd rehashed the past enough for both of us.

"You don't need to worry about that any longer. Let's think about the future now. In six months we'll be away from here. I'll be by your side as you go to university for the first time…" I trailed off, letting her imagine the possibilities.

"Sounds nice." I was pleased to hear the smile in her voice once again. "We're going to need to start thinking about where we want to send applications soon. It's nearly November."

"Are you still set on paying your own tuition?" I was quite positive I knew the answer. That didn't mean I wasn't holding out hope I could persuade her to change her mind. If she did insist on paying for her education, I would make absolutely sure that she didn't spend a penny on any of her other necessities. I could be pig-headed too.

Most of the fortune I had accumulated was tied up in joint accounts with James and Victoria. I had no intention of ever accessing those again. That chapter of my life was closed. I wouldn't willingly link myself to them in any way. They could do as they wished with what remained.

The resources I had in my name alone weren't worth nearly as much but there was certainly enough to ensure Bella and I could live comfortably while she got through school. Money was of little value to me. Vampires didn't require much. It would be best spent making Bella happy.

"What do you think?" Her expression told me her position on the matter hadn't budged.

"I don't see why you insist on making such a commotion," I muttered, dismayed by her refusal to see that providing for her wasn't a mere obligation for me. "It's just money. If we're going to spend the rest of our lives together, shouldn't we pool our resources?"

"Being with you is enough," she countered firmly. "I don't need to be showered with your wealth. I don't care if we end up at some little community college, living in a tiny one bedroom apartment somewhere. I want to travel to the east coast but we can do that on a budget."

I sniffed. I hated the thought of her settling for community college when there were so many other options available if only she would let me help.

Bella nudged me lightly, misinterpreting my reaction as derision. "Don't be such a snob. Not everyone goes Ivy League. Community colleges teach all the same stuff, except they're cheaper and they weed out all the pretentious snobs like you."

"If you can afford the best, why not?" I countered.

"Haven't you been listening? I can't afford the best."

"Haven't you been listening?" I returned her sarcasm. "You don't have to. Even if you insist on being difficult, there's always merit scholarships. I've seen your grades, Bella."

They were exemplary across the board. She would have no trouble going to a university out of state if that was what she chose.

Her cheeks reddened. "Look, I'm not ruling anything out, okay? Right now I'm all about equal opportunity. We still have a while until we have to worry about this, anyway."

I threaded my fingers through hers. The last thing I wanted was for her to think I disapproved of her choices. If I thought she truly wanted to go to community college, I wouldn't have pressed the issue. It was the fact she seemed to think she might have no other options that bothered me.

"I will be happy to follow you anywhere. This is your first time leaving home. You should get to choose where we go. Just please promise me you won't pass up an opportunity because you think you have something to prove. We're in this together, now. Let me help."

She looked down at our joined hands shyly. "We'll figure it out, okay?"

I raised her hand to my lips, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles. "I know. I apologize if I come across as demanding. I will be happy with whatever you choose. I just hate the thought of you settling. You're better than that. I know you're capable of anything you set your mind to. In fact, I'm positive that I believe in you more than you believe in yourself."

She turned bright, shiny eyes to mine. "Thank you. For believing in me." Her tone was soft and modest. She still didn't believe she was as special as I knew she was.

"You've always done it for me." Last night, in particular, she had proven just how deep her faith in me ran. I owed her the same unconditional trust.

The kiss that followed was sweet and gentle, full of promise and reassurance. It was the perfect contrast to our passionate exploits the night before.

"The Cullens are probably wondering what happened to us," Bella whispered, peering at the clock. It was nearly noon.

I nodded. "We should probably make our way to the main house before one of them comes banging down the door to check we made it through the night."

I got out of bed, heading to the wardrobe in search of clean clothes. Alice had stocked enough food to feed the town. Surely, she'd thought of clothing, too. Unsurprisingly, hanging neatly side by side in the wardrobe were two perfectly sized outfits. Alice was more prepared than a team of Boy Scouts.

Bella grinned, her playfulness making a triumphant return. "I think we did more than just make it through the night."

"A fact which we're never telling Emmett," I suggested, hastily switching out of last night's clothes and into the fresh ones. "As far as he needs to be aware, we'll live our entire lives as innocent as the driven snow."

Bella snorted, but accepted the t-shirt and jeans Alice had left for her. Her words were muffled as she pulled the shirt over her head. "If you expect that to last more than, oh, five seconds, you're more deluded than I thought."

"I prefer to think of it as optimistic."

"Sure," she giggled, standing to button her jeans and wrap her arms around my waist. "Ready to go face the music?"

"Let me comb your hair, first," I suggested, quickly locating a brush to run through it. "You'll give away our lack of innocence, for sure."

She snorted but let me brush her hair and pull it into a ponytail, anyway. "As if they won't know anyway."

"I enjoy living in hopeful delusion."

With Bella on my back it took us only a minute to reach the Cullen house. At the sight of it, a flash of nostalgia hit me. I would be glad to see them, inappropriateness and all. I would miss them when Bella and I eventually struck out on our own.

We were met at the door by booming laughter and a dimpled grin the size of a small continent.

"Somebody got lucky!"


	33. Ordinary

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Thirty-three; Ordinary_

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN:**__ It's been awhile, I know. I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to get my act together and get this done. Real life has given me less time to do the things I enjoy, fanfic included. I'm going to make an effort to update sooner this time around._

_I will promise that this story won't be abandoned. We're nearly at the end, and I have every intention of getting there. I hope there are still people out there taking the journey with me._

_As always, I hope you enjoy the chapter and look forward to hearing your thoughts :)_

xx

I reached around Edward to stuff my jacket into my locker. He was leaning against the adjacent one, watching at me, his mouth set into a now-familiar satisfied smirk.

This had been going on for the better part of the morning. Since the moment I'd woken up, I had been greeted with his golden gaze, which had remained on me ever since. The constant attention was starting to grate on my nerves.

"What?"

I might have snapped with a little more aggression than I intended. Getting back into the routine of school after spending a bliss-filled weekend with Edward had done nothing for my mood.

"Nothing," he replied innocently, his smirk growing wider. "I like watching you going about your life knowing I get to be a part of it all."

"That's sweet," I grumbled, shoving my locker closed. And it was, but I wasn't in the mood for sweet. I wanted to go back home, curl up with Edward and forget school. "But please, please, stop. Before I go crazy. I feel as though I'm living under a microscope."

He pouted, wrapping an arm around my waist, pulling me against his stone chest. I melted into him, guilt sinking in immediately. What was I was complaining about? A little looking had never killed anyone. Most girls would kill for their boyfriend to be like mine.

"I enjoy watching my girlfriend," he whispered into my hair. "She's very pretty. Is that such a crime?"

My last bit of resolve faded away, his sweet, musky scent enveloping my senses. I was quite certain he knew it would. I might have been worried about the amount of power his nearness had over my body if I didn't love him so much.

"No. But ever since… we you know," I said carefully, unsure how to bring up the newly crossed milestone in our relationship at school, with prying ears stationed at every corner, "you've been a little…" I paused, attempting to find the right word to describe his behavior.

I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Nor did I want to imply that the last two days, a large part of which had been spent lounging in his bed or mine, had been anything but amazing. Our first time and each subsequent one had been everything I could have asked for. I was pretty sure all of that had to do with the fact it was Edward I was sharing it with. But there something in his attitude toward me that had shifted. He was more attuned to my every move than ever before. The constant vigilance was slowly getting on my nerves.

"Clingy?" Edward chuckled, apparently well-aware of what I was thinking. The way he said the word was both apologetic and knowing.

Hearing it out loud, it sounded like I didn't like having him around. That wasn't true at all. I opened my mouth to refute but he stopped me, kissing the top of my head.

"I'm sorry. It's just now you're my mate, officially. That's a big deal for a vampire. We only get one. What with living forever and all, nothing is more important to me than your safety. If something were happen to you, it would kill me. I'm not trying to crowd you but I can't help myself. It's instinct to protect my mate. If I'm stifling you, tell me to back off. I'll try. Okay?"

I melted a little more, remorse for my stormy mood sinking in to replace the grumpiness. "I don't want you to back off," I said, repentant. "I'm just in a crappy mood. This weekend was awesome and the come down sucks. Why can't we just have weekends all the time?"

"Half of the fun of weekends is that they come after working all week. I know you, and you would hate the loss of productivity. You would miss school. Besides, it's Monday morning. You're not alone. Everyone is in a bad mood. It's practically mandatory," Edward observed, glancing down the hallway. Half a dozen students were slouching in front their lockers, all bearing scowls identical to mine.

I knew was trying to make me feel better, despite my less than stellar attitude to him. Already, I feeling much lighter than I had minutes ago. Edward had a way of always being exactly what I needed.

"Everyone hates Mondays. Garfield says so." Everyone knew that words of cartoon tabby cats ranked up there with the wisdom of bible.

"So, truly, it's not your fault," Edward pointed out, amusement lining his eyes. He leaned against the nearest locker, pulling me with him. "Only six hours and then we can go home and pretend it's still the weekend."

I scoffed. "Yeah right. You just know Emmett is going to be milling around the house, waiting to accost us at the first opportunity."

"We'll go to yours, then."

Emmett had taken great amusement in teasing both Edward and I about our newfound sexual prowess. He had some sort of innate magical radar that allowed him to spot an opportunity for teasing a mile away. He had latched on and refused to let go.

He had even gone so far as to retrieve a piece of the now infamous clawed mattress, offering to cross-inspect the bed in the cottage and ensure Edward's performance had remained up to par. Why Emmett had bothered to keep it and why it hadn't been immediately purged from Esme's otherwise spotless house was beyond me. I didn't think I wanted to know the answers, anyway.

To my surprise, Edward had been less defensive than expected. He had rigorously defended me but taken all barbs directed at himself in stride, even cracking a smile or two at his own expense. Perhaps Emmett had been on to something with his whole sex-loosens-people-up theory.

Naturally, at first Emmett had been put out by Edward's refusal to rise to the bait but that was quickly turned into an opportunity to share all his worldly (read: sexual) advice with a reluctant, albeit cheerful Edward. Edward's upbeat attitude might have also explained away what had looked suspiciously like a high-five.

Edward nudged me. I looked up at him guiltily, not having heard a word he said. "What are you smiling about?"

"Nothing. Just Emmett. You. Everything. You're different, a little happier now."

Edward shrugged, indifferent. "Something wrong with being happy? I can't help it. You make me happy." He lowered his voice conspiratorially, glancing at the group of freshmen milling about a few feet away. "At one point, I truly believed I would never have a mate. Maybe nothing feels different to you but it does for me. It's like someone turned up the lights in a dimmed room. Like a part of me was waiting for something to make us real. I know it sounds stupid that sex could do that, but it did. It's like I found the final piece of a puzzle, one I didn't even realize was missing."

"Happy is a good look on you," I confessed, taking in the brightness that seemed to radiate from him. I had never stopped long enough to notice the perpetual shadow he had worn before. It was only a slight change, but I was sure I could see the difference. He was so breathtakingly beautiful, it had never occurred to me that it was possible he could be even more beautiful than he already was. "I want you to be happy always."

"As long as I'm with you, I will be." The casual certainty made my heart squeeze.

My lips found his easily in a soft kiss that was more familiar than ever. As many times as we had kissed by now, it never got tiring. I craved more, always. It was just the thing to wipe out the Monday morning blues entirely.

Reluctant to split, we found ourselves pressed against my locker, making out like the teenagers we supposedly were. It was nice to act like two ordinary high school seniors. No evil, vengeful vampires to worry about. No annoying siblings. No nothing. Just Edward and Bella and whatever the future held.

And Jessica apparently.

The sound of smacking gum was our first clue. Through my Edward-haze, I was vaguely aware of the annoying sound but it was the inexplicable prickling feeling that someone was staring that garnered my attention.

With one last peck, we drew apart to find Jessica's eager face peering at us from around her open locker door as she shoved a pink binder in her backpack blindly, unwilling to take her eyes off of us.

"Hi, guys!" The sing-songy lilt made it clear she was anything but sorry to interrupt. In fact, she looked quite pleased with herself for catching us caught up in a moment.

"Hi, Jessica," Edward returned, his expression caught in a limbo between floating on cloud nine and annoyed at the disruption.

"So," Jessica trilled, nudging me. "You guys are getting really serious, now, huh?" I wasn't quite sure how she drew that conclusion from what she had witnessed but I didn't dare question her about her thought processes. Those was probably best left undiscovered.

Edward wound his fingers with mine. "Yeah," I agreed absently, squeezing his hand. "We're really happy."

Jessica nodded like an excited puppy. "I can tell. You guys are, like, so in tune. I mean, it was always obvious that you two were going to end up together. Even before you went public, when you were both acting all shy around each other and stuff, there was an obvious spark there. Like the second he walked into our class, I knew."

I was genuinely touched. For someone as brash and outspoken as Jessica tended to be, that was an unusually sweet sentiment.

"Thanks, that's really nice, Jess."

She nodded, brushing aside the compliment impatiently. "Yeah. Just wait until I tell Lauren. She'd going to be so jealous. She was telling everyone that she wishes that Tyler would be more affectionate at school, or something. I can't remember exactly what she said. She thinks he's too into his jock sports stuff. She totally would have dumped him for Edward if you hadn't got there first. But then so would've everyone, so yeah. I mean, you got really lucky."

I had to bite my tongue to refrain from responding with sarcasm. I should have known better than to expect Jessica was just being friendly. The latest scoop was always goal number one. One genuine, friendly observation was not indicative of a personality transplant.

Without even pausing to take a breath, she continued her rapid-fire speech. "So have you guys decided where you're going to apply to college? You _are_ going to apply together, right? I was talking to Lauren and she said she said she thinks that she and Tyler are going to end up applying together. Lauren said she thinks Tyler might even want them to rent an apartment together. So… I thought, well if Lauren and Tyler are moving away together, then Edward and Bella probably are too, because they're like even more attached at the hip than Lauren and Tyler. So are you?"

I was saved from having to answer by Angela's arm being thrown around my shoulder. Jessica shot her an icy glare, not pleased with her inconvenient entrance. Ben trailed a few steps behind her. He nodded at Edward, who returned the gesture, immediately involving him in a discussion about our first period Calculus test. The way his hand gripped mine, I knew a portion of his attention was still on me. Always.

"Hey, Bell," Angela grinned at me teasingly, shooting a quick glance at Jessica and winking discreetly. "You and Edward put on quite an impressive show. You're making the rest of school feel inadequate. Fighting hard for 'most sickeningly sweet couple' in the yearbook, aren't you?"

I glanced down the hall, wondering how many others had noticed. Everyone seemed entangled in conversations or hunting through their lockers. "You saw that?"

Angela chuckled. "Bella, everyone with eyes saw. You two weren't exactly being inconspicuous. Though, if you'd tried to hide in the broom closet or something, rumours probably would have spread like wildfire, right, Jess?" She winked at Jessica who turned pink and looked away but didn't bother to defend herself.

"So," Angela changed the subject. "_Have_ you thought about where you're applying for college at all?"

It was funny how Angela managed to ask a question almost identical to the one Jessica had asked but made it seem infinitely less intrusive.

"Ben is thinking of applying to UW. He says they've got a great science program. Which is great for him. But it's so close to home, you know? I wonder if that's the college experience I want."

Jessica looked baffled at the revelation that Angela might choose to separate herself from her boyfriend on purpose. "You would go to a different college than Ben? Isn't that, like asking to break up? How many couples last through college if they aren't on the same campus? I mean, how do you expect to have any fun if you can't go out together and you're not allowed to see any other guys?"

Angela shrugged. "Why not? I'm my own person, right? If what Ben and I want out of college is different, there's no reason we can't go to different ones and still see one another. If we're meant to be, we'll stick it out for four years. If we can't find a middle ground, then we'll go our separate ways. Nothing's certain yet, anyway. We're still just talking."

"I think it would be hard to be apart from Edward," I input. I understood Angela's position, but she hadn't been seeing Ben as long as I had been with Edward. Maybe they were still at a more casual stage of their relationship. "We spend so much time together now, I can't imagine being away from him for weeks or even months at a time. I'm lucky, though, Edward is pretty flexible. He'll go anywhere with a decent music program. He's letting me pick location."

Angela sighed, glancing over her shoulder at Ben wistfully. "You're so lucky. No one really has to compromise. He gets his program, you get your location. You wanted New York, right? I remember you mentioning something."

"Yep," I nodded. "My mom and I visited once, years ago. I really loved the energetic city vibe. Forks is too… mellow and green. I miss Phoenix sometimes."

"Don't expect the weather to be as nice in NYC as it was in Arizona," Angela teased. "The winters are brutal. Or so I hear."

"That's why I'm going to California," Jessica said smugly. "Forks is miserable. I'm dying to get a proper tan for once in my life. Plus there's supposed to be tons of cute surfer boys in California, right?"

"What happened to Mike?" Angela wondered, her light brown eyes wide with confusion. "Didn't you two go to the dance together? People were saying that you two rented a room in Port Angeles afterward."

Jessica's jaw-dropped. "Oh my God! Who told you that?" she demanded. She crossed her arms defensively, not used to being on the opposite end of a rumour.

Angela shrugged, looking thoughtful. "I'm not sure. I was talking to Ben, who said something about talking to Tyler. I think Tyler heard it from Mike. But it might have been Connor. Or no, maybe is was Connor who told Ben."

"It had to have started with Mike!" Jessica growled, shooting daggers down the hall in the direction of Mike's locker, even though he was nowhere in sight. "Why would he go around telling people that? What an asshole!"

Angela's eyes widened. "You mean it was true? Oh my gosh, Jess. Why didn't you tell us you guys were together again? I thought you said it was over for good last time?"

I hadn't been in Forks long enough to know all the ins and outs of their relationship but apparently it was a legendary string of hot and cold behaviour toward one another that stretched back as far as middle school.

Jessica flushed, her cheeks attempting to match the magenta of her sweater. "I thought it was a secret. We were just going to let things happen naturally this time and see how it worked out. I didn't realize that Mike was telling everyone."

"Yeah! Usually that's your job!" Angela sympathized. I suppressed a snicker at Angela's ironic tone, coughing to disguise the snort of laughter that escaped anyway.

"I know!" Jessica snapped, her expression molten. "I'm going to go give him a piece of my mind! I mean, who does he think he is telling everyone in the school all the private details of my life?"

She stomped off in a flash of pink, in search of her likely soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend-again.

"Was that mean of us?" Angela questioned as we watched her retreat.

"Let's just say she had it coming," I reasoned. "It's about time she realizes gossiping isn't nice. Though I'm not sure she grasped the message. Speaking of… did Mike really say those things?"

Angela shook her head, suddenly remorseful. "No. I just saw them leaving in his car together. Mike and Tyler were bragging about how it was so easy to get away with staying out the night after a dance. It was a lucky guess. Now I feel bad. She's going to give the poor guy hell. I didn't even think about Mike."

I chuckled. "Maybe you did him a favour. If Jessica got her way she'd drag him off to the Golden State come graduation. Can you imagine Mike lounging on the beach, sunbathing with her?"

Angela snorted. "Not exactly. But then, I never would have pictured you as a big city girl, either. You seem so natural here. You fit in with us smalltowners."

I shrugged. "I want to see what's out there. We're only eighteen. We're just starting to find ourselves. Who knows who we'll be a year from now?"

"So true," Angela agreed, the sound of the morning bell punctuating her statement.

Edward's eyes found mine over her shoulder. His hand, which had somehow disconnected from mine during the course of conversation, found it again.

"I'll see you in Gov last period, okay?" I told Angela.

She nodded and waved, heading off to her first class with Ben.

Edward closed my locker and clasped the lock before taking my books from me. "Ready?"

I let him lead me towards our first class, hastily reviewing formulas for our first period Calculus test as we walked. Edward knew them all but that didn't stop him from recounting them for my sake. My stomach twisted warmly at his thoughtfulness.

Angela and Jessica were both right. I was really lucky.

xx

Despite the slow start to the day, the first two periods flew by quickly. It was easier than I had expected to settle back into the well worn routine.

The moment we were in our seats in Calculus, our tests were laid out waiting for us. I didn't even think about mourning the loss of the weekend until after I'd double-checked my answers. By then, second period was minutes away, anyway.

Edward had handed in his sheet with more than twenty minutes to spare. I suspected that was his attempt at 'playing human.' I was going to have to remind him to try harder if he really wanted to appear normal. Then again, a lot of the image he had built for himself at Forks High was based around his ability to excel at absolutely everything.

It really wasn't fair the amount of perfection of which he was capable. As if being able to recall formulas with textbook accuracy wasn't enough, he could pluck the correct answers right from other students heads. But I totally wasn't jealous. Cheating was immoral, immortal or not.

I handed in my test sans all supernatural aids, feeling quite confident, and definitely thankful for Edward's impromptu review session before class. He'd bumped a formula or two, which I might have otherwise been struggling to recall, into the forefront of my memory. Test over, I could purge them all from memory… until final exams, thank you very much.

Second period brought with it its own dramas to keep me entertained. Mr. Mason decided today would be perfect day for a pop quiz in English because everyone loved pop quizzes early Monday morning and all.

It was no big deal to me. Most of the reading materials on our syllabus, I was reading for the second or third time. I would have no problem recalling a few minor plot details here and there from _Little Women_.

To anyone who had read the novel, it wouldn't have been a big deal, really. Mr. Mason was a hard-ass, but he was a fair hard-ass. If you knew the material, you were credited for it. The questions were usually straight-forward and easy to answer if you'd done the reading. That didn't stop half the class from making exaggerated groaning sounds when Mr. Mason slapped down still warm photocopies of the quiz on the front row desks.

I should have known by the telltale smirk that Edward wore that somewhere in that crazy head of his, he was planning on making things interesting.

Edward and Mr. Mason had developed a tenuous but admittedly amusing relationship, that seemed to have its roots in Edward's unconventional entrance into his classroom. Mr. Mason had certainly lived to regret the day he had challenged Edward for talking in class, his first day at Forks High.

Ever since, Edward took great pride in exasperating our teacher at every possible turn. No one could claim vampires didn't know how to hold a grudge. Or perhaps it was just my vampire.

Edward was always intelligent in his disobedience. He never did anything worthy of reprimand. It was always asking just the right questions to poke holes in the research backing Mr. Mason's lessons, or correcting dates and facts with pinpoint accuracy, or offering opposing views accompanied by air-tight logic. Mr. Mason couldn't exactly send Edward to the principal's office for being right, even if it did make his lesson plans look clumsy.

Edward was unrelenting, too. At least once every class, he was there, his hand waiving in the air, waiting to shank our teacher with deceptively sharp-edged words.

It had gotten to the point where Mr. Mason would purposefully refuse to call on Edward, not wanting to have to deal with him. Of course, all the other students in class had quickly caught wind of the rivalry, if it could even be called that, and had banded together, boycotting answering questions posed by Mr. Mason if it appeared Edward might have something to say, solely for the opportunity to see Edward and our teacher try to one-up one another.

There was even a tally scrawled on Mike's desk at the back of the room. _Mason vs. Masen_, as it would immortally be known (or until Forks High decided to chuck what remained of the '70s décor from the school remodeling three decades ago) was a running count of arguments between Edward and Mr. Mason, with each tick counting on the side of the so-called winner of the dispute.

Mr. Mason's side boasted three ticks. Edward's, on the other hand, was starting to run off the edge of the desk.

So, really, I should have been prepared when Edward raised his hand as everyone else began scrawling on their tests, praying their made up answers weren't wholly transparent.

Sighing, Mr. Mason reluctantly rose from his seat, traipsing warily down the aisle to Edward's desk, like a man on death row. By the time he reached Edward not a single eye in the classroom was on the quiz.

No one bothered to hide their staring as they waited for the drama to go down, probably quietly taking bets on who was going to get the next tick. There was even a running bet on how long it would take for Edward to get Mr. Mason to break down and cry. I was pretty sure I saw crumpled bills passing underneath desks in the back.

"Yes? Did you have a question, Mr. Masen?"

"Yes. I was reading the questions you've written and I have a concern about question two. You've asked 'Which sister does Laurie fall in love with in the end?' This question confuses me, because, as I'm sure you're aware, Laurie falls in love with both Jo and Amy throughout the course of the novel. I suppose the phrase 'in the end' as used here is intended to narrow your question further, however it does not specify 'in the end' of what. Is it the entire novel you're referring to? Part one? Or maybe you meant Laurie's life? You can see how this might change my answer. Also, if you are suggesting that Amy is the correct answer, I have to question your usage of the term 'love.' Just because she is the one he marries, I'm not sure that he loves her to the degree which he loved Jo. To some extent, Laurie's love for Jo seems to extend even beyond his marriage to Amy, which begs the question, does he truly love Amy?"

I could hear Mike's snickering behind me.

"Ma_sen_," he whispered to Connor, already in the process of carving a new mark into his desk, "Definitely Masen."

xx

The ease with which the early morning periods had slid by ground to a halt in gym class. It quickly became apparent today was not going to be an average day. Instead of shuffling us into the change rooms, as was typical, Coach Clapp was standing in front of the gymnasium, directing everyone toward the small classroom that we used during the mandatory 'health,' weeks.

Most of the class seemed to hate the few weeks we were confined indoors, or rather confined in a classroom. In Forks, outdoor gym classes were about as common as unicorn sightings, given the constant rain. By the time it was dry enough to trek outside, another rain shower would inevitably drop in to replenish the sogginess.

I didn't mind the health weeks. Usually they were pretty typical in a PSA kind of way. Your body is a temple. Eat this to be healthy. Don't do drugs. Don't drink and drive. All the typical preachy stuff they wanted to make sure high schoolers knew before moving on to their adult lives. The kind of things that I'd grown up knowing with a police chief for a father and a sometimes-vegan as a mother.

Edward leaned across the narrow space separating our desks, nodding to Coach Clapp with amusement. "This week is sexual education week," he whispered to me. "That's why we're in here and why Coach is so uncomfortable. He dreads having to talk to a group of teenagers about sex. A little ironic, isn't it, that they're doing this now?"

I snorted. "Too little, too late, I guess. Though I think my mom gave us a pretty thorough run down of the basics. There was enough sex talk in that conversation to cover three or four normal ones, easy. I wonder what brought this on now? Usually they save Sex Ed for closer to prom."

"It's all thanks to Newton and Jessica," Edward confessed. "They were caught with their pants down in the bathroom of the dance. Or perhaps I should say Michael was. Principal Greene wasn't too pleased to be the one who made the discovery, hence the adjustment to the curriculum."

I suppressed a chuckle into my hand at the image of our balding principal walking in on Jessica and Mike huddled compromisingly in a bathroom stall. I couldn't say I was altogether surprised they had been caught. Mike and Jessica were notorious for their constant hot and cold antics and on the basis of what Angela had said this morning, it appeared to be "hot" at the moment. Or it had before first period. God only knows what had gone down after Jessica confronted Mike.

"Would it be awful for me to say that I'm not altogether surprised? Jess and Mike aren't exactly the most stealthy pair known to man."

Edward chuckled, adding seriously. "Of course they're not. That title belongs to us. Or it would if Emmett wasn't so incredibly nosy and didn't feel the need to broadcast any and all information he uncovers. He's trying to ruin our innocent reputation."

I laughed at Edward's solemn face. "Most stealthy _and_ Fork's most sickeningly sweet couple? If you're to believe Angela, that is. Aren't those two titles contradictory?"

Edward shrugged immodestly. "What can I say? We're a walking paradox."

By the time the entire class had gathered, Coach Clapp was sitting at the front of the class, perched awkwardly on the edge of his desk in his omnipresent navy track suit.

Clasping his hands, his unease evident, he cleared his throat and addressed the class. "As some of you may already be aware, the school dance was this past Friday. And well, to make a long story short, at the event, we – and by we, I mean the staff at Forks High – witnessed behaviour that," he cleared his throat again, "one might say was unbecoming."

Coach averted his eyes from Jessica who was sitting in the front row, studying her pink binder as if it held all the world's secrets. Mike – the other half of the duo that most of the class seemed to know to be the subject of Coach Clapp's anecdote – seemed unfazed, maybe even a little proud, if his unflinching grin was any indication.

Edward met my eyes smugly, as if to say "see, I told you."

"So," Coach continued awkwardly, "the school administration has decided it might be a good idea to bump up our annual Sex Ed week, to ensure those of you, uh, experimenting with your, um, sexuality understand what you're getting yourselves into. There are some important considerations. So we'll be talking about how to take necessary precautions and how to stay safe. Does anyone have any questions?"

Mike, who was seated in the back corner, as far as humanly possible from Jessica, piped up, under his breath. "Yeah. Why is it such a big deal to have a little fun?"

Coach Clapp glared at Mike, his gruff, jock exterior returning full force. "Newton. You got something to say? Say it out loud."

Mike shook his head petulantly.

"Well, alright then, let's get on with it, shall we?" Coach said with obvious false enthusiasm. He stepped behind his desk, retrieving a box from beneath it. He set the box down on top of its surface with a hefty thud.

He turned his eyes back to the class, ignoring the box that was all anyone else could focus on. "In light of recent events, Principal Greene thought it might be a good idea to prepare you kids with a little hands on experience so you're ready for real life situations."

"Hands on experience?" Mike sulked under his breath. "I think we can find that on our own without any help."

Coach Clapp's eyes snapped to Mike's. After more than two decades of teaching, he appeared to have honed hearing skills akin to those of a bat. Mike had the decency to look at least somewhat ashamed. "I'm sure _you_ could, Newton. As most of the school is well aware. But that's not the point. The point is knowing how to do it safely."

Mike slunk down in his seat, his expression a tangled combination of mortified and defiant. The class suppressed chuckles all around him. It wasn't too often that students got called out by the Coach. He was one of the more easygoing teachers at the school.

Coach cleared his throat again in a poor attempt to calm the chattering. "As I was saying… hands on experience." He opened the box, pulling out a banana with a flourish. In the other hand he held up a foil packet. "I hope you all can tell me what these two items are."

Of course, Edward raised his hand. No one else dared. The very thought of being the one who had to try and answer, with a straight face no less, was appalling.

"Masen?"

"Well sir, it looks to me like a condom and, of course, a banana, which I assume was selected for its phallic shape."

"Very good, Masen." Coach turned to the rest of the class, depositing a banana on every second desk. "Now who can tell me the purpose of a condom?"

This time Mike raised his hand, glancing across my desk at Edward with absolutely no discretion, clearly not wanting to be outdone. Edward sat back in his seat coolly, not paying any attention. "Condoms catch a guy's jizz during sex."

Coach nodded, planting a wrapped condom on all the desks that didn't already have a banana. He seemed to be gaining momentum, his discomfort with the explicit nature of the topic he usually preferred to cover with decades-old videos mostly dissipated.

"Good, Newton. I hope that's your 'experience' talking, seeing as you claim to have so much of it. To expand upon what Newton said, condoms are used during sex to prevent pregnancy and the spread of STIs and STDs, which are passed from one partner to the other through bodily fluids. It's very important that if you engage in sexual activity that you use them."

Coach settled behind his desk, straightening some papers casually, as if he was talking about the weather. "Now, each of you has either a banana or a condom on your desk. As sex is a two person activity and safety should be shared between partners, I'd like you to pair up with a classmate and together demonstrate how to properly use your condom. I'll be inspecting your handiwork, so if you're not sure what to do, please ask. Go ahead."

The class exploded into a bustle of activity as everyone with a banana attempted to find a partner who had a condom or vice versa. There were even a few people pleading with others to switch.

Edward grinned, holding up his banana, gesturing to my condom with it. I nodded, letting him drag his seat closer to mine so we could work together on the ridiculous activity.

Mike had finally caught on that I was always going to choose Edward first and didn't bother ask if I would be his partner. Instead, Jessica sidled up to his desk, slapping her condom onto it and plopping into the vacated chair next to him. Mike's pleased expression erased any previous pity I'd felt for him. Maybe there was hope for him and Jessica yet.

"I can see why Coach Clapp always showed videos, before," I told Edward. "Putting condoms on bananas, really? How is anyone supposed to take this seriously when we're preparing fruit for safe sex?"

Edward smirked. "It's not so bad. It never hurts to know how to use contraception. Now be quiet and put your condom on my banana." He held his banana in both hands, wiggling it in my direction.

I managed to repress a snort of laugher despite the absurdity of it all. Dutifully I peeled the foil off the condom. "Okay. Proving my point, but alright."

Edward pretended to look hurt. "Swan, are you afraid to touch my banana? I'm hurt, deeply. I thought our relationship had progressed beyond that point."

This time I couldn't stop my giggle. "Who are you and what did you do with my boyfriend? That joke was bad, Masen, really bad."

He shrugged sheepishly, shooting me a bright smile. "You laughed. I love your laugh."

"Sap," I teased, holding up the slick ring. "Now hold your banana still. If you keep wiggling it like that, I'm never going to get this thing on it."

Jessica leaned over from her seat next to Mike, making it clear she had been eavesdropping. "I know, right? Mike won't stop waving his around like it's a flag or something." She rolled her eyes. "Coach should have given the bananas to the girls. _We_ would know how to handle them." She turned back to Mike pointedly. "Why won't you just let me hold it?"

Mike cupped his banana close to his chest. "Yeah right. You have no idea what it's like to manage a banana."

"Oh grow up," Jessica snapped.

Mike glared back, just as affronted. "You're trying to steal my masculinity and you're telling me to grow up? How hard can it be to put a condom on a banana?"

Jessica glared harder and snatched the banana from him, shoving the condom into his hand. "How about you find out?"

Mike took the proffered item ferociously. "Fine! I'll do it better than you ever would."

While Mike attempted to line up the contraceptive, Jessica wiggled the fruit obnoxiously, mockingly pretending to act like him.

I raised an eyebrow at Edward. Solemnly, he held his banana perfectly still, allowing me to sheath it in the latex.

Coach Clapp walked past our pushed-together desks, appraising the various rubber-covered bananas appreciatively. "Masen, Swan, very nice teamwork."

He paused next to Mike and Jessica who were still vying for control of their banana. He nodded approvingly. "Stanley, I see you're making Newton work for it this time. Very good."

xx

By the end of the day, I was half-leaning against Edward, exhausted by a day much more eventful than I had expected. The late nights spent with Edward, cuddling, talking and making use of our beds were catching up with me. During final period, I could feel myself fighting off yawns with growing frequency.

"You okay?" Edward asked me as we tucked ourselves into the Vanquish after dumping our unneeded textbooks in my locker. I was so focused on getting home that the stares the car (and Edward driving it) drew didn't even faze me.

His forehead was creased with worry. "You've been really quiet and your face is flushed. Are you getting sick? You usually smell different when you are, but…" he trailed off, unsure.

I shook my head. "I don't feel sick. Just really tired. It's a little exhausting having a boyfriend who never sleeps and never gets tired."

He swallowed, staring at the road ahead, remorseful. Needlessly so. He couldn't help not being able to sleep any more than I could being tired.

"Maybe when we get home we can take a nap?" I suggested. "I sleep better when you're with me."

"Of course we can," he reassured, his hand slipping from the stick shift to my knee. The minimal contact was enough to set my body humming, despite its protests for sleep. "Whatever you need."

The entire concept of napping was now foreign to him, but I appreciated that he was willing to indulge me. It was difficult to sleep without his weight on the right side of the bed. I had always thought the people who claimed they couldn't sleep properly without someone next to them were ridiculous. If you were tired you slept, no matter who was in your bed.

Just the thought of a quiet night at home alone with Edward was almost enough to lull me to sleep.

Fate had other plans, however.

Edward spotted him long before I did. As we pulled into the Cullen driveway, his shoulders hunched and his expression tightened, alerting me that something was off.

I followed his gaze, warily, not sure what I was expecting, relieved to find it was only Jake huddled awkwardly next to the Cullens' mailbox. His posture was as awkward as Edward's. His arms were crossed defensively across his chest and he kept glancing back at the house, wary. It was clear he was out of his element.

"Jake," I greeted, stepping out of the car. "What are you doing here?"

Edward rounded the car an instant later, hovering just a step behind me. Close enough to step in if needed, but distant enough to be respectful. If Edward was giving us our space, it was a good sign that Jake was here with nothing but honourable intentions.

Jake shrugged, the nonchalance in the gesture a little too contrived to be genuine. "I just thought I would come check on you. It's been a few weeks, and you haven't been to the rez at all since you broke your arm. I wasn't sure…" His voice trailed meekly, his gaze sinking to the blue fiberglass covering my arm.

The question he was asking was obvious, despite the fact he hadn't stated it aloud. "I'm not avoiding you," I promised. I had been spending so much time with Edward and the Cullens I hadn't realized I had been neglecting my other friends. "My arm… it was an accident. No big deal. It'll heal. We're completely fine. I promise," I added, sincere.

A breath I hadn't realized Jake was holding whooshed out, belying his relief. "Okay cool." He paused a beat too long. "The guys and I miss you, you know. You used to hang with us all the time. You were practically one of us."

I shrugged, not sure what to say to that. At one point I had felt like one of them too. I chose my words carefully, not wanting to hurt his feelings. "We had to grow up and move on eventually, right?"

To my relief Jake chuckled. "Yeah, I guess. But did it have to be with the vamps?" He eyed Edward sideways, his tone caught somewhere between joking and unintentionally revealing honesty.

I smiled, glad he was making the effort. "What can I say? I have a thing for the supernatural. I'm thinking about befriending fairies next." A yawn broke the end of my sentence and a concerned Edward was at my side in a flash.

I leaned into him but spoke to Jake. "You want to come in and hang out for a bit? I promise I won't let them bite you. They're quite civilized when they want to be. Actually, I'm surprised they left you out here to wait in the cold. I thought the Cullens were more hospitable than that."

Jake smirked. "They tried to get me inside, trust me. The redhead even tried to bribe me with food. Human food. They're nice, I have to give them that. Too damn nice, really. It's kind of infuriating trying to hate them."

I nudged his side. "You know you don't hate anyone, Jake."

"I know. I hate that," he said, deadpan.

I giggled. Edward tensed behind me, his arm snaked around my waist, his expression unreadable.

"Are you sure you don't want to hang out? We could watch a movie or something?" I offered, prepared to give up my plans of curling up with Edward for Jake's sake. He had been my friend first. When I had been new and uncertain in Forks he had been there for me. I owed him that much. "I can't promise I won't sleep through most of it, though."

Jake shook his head, sorrowfully, his eyes flicking to Edward's protective stance. "I don't think that's a good idea. Werewolves and vampires don't belong together, no matter how nice they play."

He didn't have to say the words, I knew this was his way of saying goodbye, at least for now. Maybe some time in the far off future, with a little time and perspective, our differences wouldn't seem so vast, but for now, we belonged in different circles. I was determined to be with Edward, which meant giving up Jake. All the important roles Jake had once occupied in my life – best friend, confidant, shoulder to cry on – had been silently passed on to Edward, without me realizing it. The thought that Jake and I were closing that chapter in our friendship saddened me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

Jake grinned. "Don't be. Just be happy, okay?" I nodded, more than willing to comply with the simple demand. "I don't like it, but I know this isn't about me."

"It isn't," I promised. "You've been nothing but a good friend to me."

He paused, seeming to wage an internal battle, then abruptly wrapped his arms around me. I returned the hug just as tightly, grateful that Jake had come around, even if it had taken weeks. I hadn't realized how much his blessing had meant to me until now. It might not have been complete approval, but it was more than I had ever expected.

He turned to Edward. "As long as Bella's happy, I'm happy. But if you ever, ever hurt her, you'll answer to me. I just thought you should know."

"That won't be a problem," Edward said quietly, the simple sentence holding the weight of a sacred promise.

When Jake was gone, I turned to Edward, my eyes watery. The emotional goodbye sucked out what little strength I had left. "I'm not crying because Jake and I… It's just…" I trailed off, struggling with how to explain my feelings without making it seem as though Jake and I had ever been more than we were.

Edward smiled faintly, gently wiping away a stray tear with the back of his finger. "I know, love. He was an important part of your life. I'm sorry it had to be this way." He kissed the wet trail left on my cheek and wrapped a supportive arm around my shoulders, leading me up the walkway.

I might have loved him even more in that moment, impossible as it may have seemed. I had been expecting unnecessary rivalry and snide comments. The comfort was more than welcome.

"I made my choice. I have to live with the consequences. They've been mostly good, you know. I don't regret anything about you."

He kissed the top of my head. "I would hope not."

Inside, the sanctuary I had been hoping to find was nowhere in sight. Emmett and Rosalie were in the midst of stand off in the foyer.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Rosalie roared. I was surprised we hadn't heard their raised voices from outside. They weren't making any attempt to scale down the volume. "What the hell would possess you to invite that dog into _my_ house? Did you stop to think maybe I didn't want to make small talk with some asshole who wouldn't give a second thought about killing me? You waltz back into our lives, without so much as an apology and expect the world to fall at your feet. Well, newsflash: it doesn't. You don't get to make decisions for any of us! You probably shouldn't even make them for you. The world would be a safer place!"

Emmett glared back at her, his eyes blazing. I had never seen him look so fierce. Despite his formidable size, his wide smile tended to give him a harmless, cuddly appearance virtually opposite of the way he appeared now.

"I don't know what you want from me! The guy was outnumbered four to one, do you really think he was going to try something? He'd be the world's biggest idiot. He looked miserable out there, waiting in the cold. I didn't see the harm in being nice. It's not my fault you're a compassionless, cold-hearted bitch."

Rosalie inhaled shakily, looking close to tears that she would never shed. "You wouldn't know the first fucking thing about me if it slapped you in the face," she spat, turning on her heel. She stopped, turning to look at Emmett over her shoulder, her whispered words a more cruel blow than all the yelling that preceded it. "I knew I should have left you to die."

With that she fled out the back door, the metal frame of the screen door twisting freakishly under the force of being slammed.

Emmett stood stoically, in complete shell-shocked silence for several moments before chancing a glance at Edward and I, seeming to recognize for the first time that we were there.

"Fuck," he muttered, running his hand across his face, looking as tired as I felt. "I fucked that up royally, didn't I? I can't seem to talk to the woman without pissing her off. I didn't even do anything this time. But once she starts, it's like she sparks something in me and I can't stop."

"Emmett," Edward said quietly, "have you ever tried apologizing to her?"

Emmett shook his head, indignant. "Why would I? She's the one who starts all these petty fights, and over what? Stupid little non-issues that no one else but her would care about."

Edward shook his head slowly. "Not for that. For leaving, abandoning her without so much as a goodbye. When you left you hurt her and you know it. Perhaps you regret it but maybe that isn't enough. Have you ever said the words to her?"

Emmett glanced at the floor. "No," he muttered after several long seconds.

"Well, if I were you, I would think it was worth a shot. Women like to hear you say how you feel out loud. It's makes it more concrete to them. They don't like having to assume what you're thinking. I'd bet anything that she's picking fights with you to avoid getting hurt again."

Emmett smirked, his trademark grin peeking out from beneath his dour expression. "I guess you would know, nearly being one, yourself and all."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Fine. It's your life. See if I try to help you with your women troubles again. Even though I'm clearly the expert." He nudged me playfully, winking. "Just ask my woman."

I laughed despite myself. "Yeah," I agreed, my tone sardonic, "Edward knows how to keep me happy. You ought to listen to him."

Emmett snorted. "That sounded sincere."

"It was," I reassured. "It was just a little hard to get out without choking on the testosterone cloud hovering around."

"Neither of us has testosterone any longer, Bella," Edward smirked. "Any testosterone in this room belongs to you. Contrary to popular belief women have testosterone, too."

Emmett looked at me disbelievingly. "Science geek over here keeps you happy? Are you kidding me?"

"He's crazy smart," I explained, catching Edward's pleased smirk out of the corner of my eye. "He learns fast, too. And he's really, really sexy. What more could a girl ask for?"

Emmett burst into a contagious gut-busting laugh. "Oh, I like you. You are going to make one hell of a feisty vampire. I call dibs hunting with her."

"Oh and Emmett?" I waited until he met my eyes before continuing. "Edward has a point, you know. Tell Rosalie you're sorry. You won't regret it."


	34. Lost

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Thirty-four; Lost_

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN: **__Yes, this is an update, not a hallucination. I apologize for the delay, but the summer has been busy. The good news is it's almost over and I hope to resume a more regular posting schedule ;)_

_As always I love hearing your response and I hope you enjoy :)_

xx

I snuggled against Edward, only half of my attention on the movie flashing across the screen in the darkened room. Even all the trappings of the Cullens' state of the art home theatre weren't enough to capture my attention, which was floating somewhere off in the vicinity of dreamland. I was too awake to sleep but relaxed enough, curled up with Edward, that my mind found itself wandering without permission.

Thanksgiving was less than a week away. It had been a long time since I had looked forward to the holiday. Sure, I was always aware that there was plenty I had to be thankful for, but the holiday had never been met with much fanfare when it was just my Mom and I. Renee had never been one for cooking, so the responsibility of the thanksgiving spread, small though it was, had always fallen to me. Since it had only ever been the two of us, I had never ventured to create anything all that much more grand than our everyday fare. I'd usually roast the smallest turkey I could find and call it a day. The situation hadn't changed much last year, the only difference being Charlie, rather than Renee, sat across the table.

This year, though food would still be a minor part of the celebrations – as was the case when one spent the majority of their time with a coven of vampires – I was looking forward to spending the holiday with Edward and the surrogate family that had formed around him. Maybe I could even convince them to throw a little thanksgiving soiree to include Charlie. I was pretty sure Alice would be the first on board.

Edward ran his fingers through my hair, reading my stillness as discontent. "Are you all right?"

I lifted my face from his lap, offering a smile. Even in the dim room he would be able to see my face as clearly as if we were lying in the sun. "I'm perfect," I told him in complete earnestness. I had never felt better.

Edward grinned but the happy expression was quick to vacate, bemusement-lined irritation replacing it. I didn't have to see any more to know Emmett was up to something. I had become pretty competent at reading Edward's moods and that look always meant one thing: Emmett.

"Hold that thought," Edward muttered, reluctantly muting the stereo system and looking to the doorway expectantly.

Sure enough, a moment later, Emmett strolled into the room as if he owned it, flicking on every light, even the lamp on the side table, as if to create as much of a disruption as possible to announce his arrival.

I could certainly see how he and Rosalie continued to butt heads. They were more alike than either of them would probably ever admit.

I blinked up in the newly relit room, willing my eyes to adjust to the brightness. Giving up, I ducked my head into Edward's lap, squinting at Emmett through half-lidded eyes.

"Sorry about that, B," Emmett apologized, plopping himself on the couch, just missing squashing my feet. The springs groaned under the force of his weight. "But bad Thanksgiving movies can wait. I have a problem and Steve Martin cannot help me."

"Really?" Edward drawled, tightening his arm around me and pulling me closer into his side, as though I could shield him from Emmett. "And your first thought was to come bother us? You know Emmett, as thoughtful as that is, we do have lives beyond solving your problems. You should try Alice. She loves meddling in other people's lives. I'm surprised she's stayed out of it so far."

Emmett snorted. "Yeah, right. Did you not have time to say your three million 'I love yous' yet today? Or has the hourly googly eyes quota gone unmet?" He twisted his face humorously. "Trust me, this is more important. And Rosalie's gone hunting, so I kinda need to talk to you now."

"What is it, Emmett?" I cut over Edward, stopping him from interjecting with some snide comment.

The two of them could go on for days if I didn't step in. I knew this from experience. They brought out the worst in one another. It was their way of declaring friendship.

Emmett seemed genuinely relieved I was willing to hear him out, despite the sarcasm.

"I apologized to Rosalie like you said I should. She wasn't very receptive." He shook his head, mystified that his apology hadn't been accepted with open arms.

Edward chuckled, intercepting something I wasn't privy to from Emmett's head.

"If you said it like that, consider yourself lucky that she didn't decapitate you. I cannot believe you ever made fun of my lack of experience with women. I may not have had much experience but at least I had common sense."

I giggled, too. I didn't need to know exactly what they were talking about; Edward's chuckles were contagious, especially in the face of Emmett's bewildered indignation.

"But I still said it," Emmett reasoned optimistically, looking to me for support. "That has to count for something right?"

Edward shook his head, his crooked smirk a mile wide. "Wrong. So very wrong. They got into another argument yesterday, because Emmett left a wet towel in the sink," he explained to me, barely able to get the words out through his amusement. "And Emmett decided that would be a good time to tell her he was sorry." He might have been enjoying Emmett's distress just a little too much.

"That doesn't sound so bad," I countered sympathetically. "He still apologized, right? That's a good start. It's definitely salvageable."

"See?" Emmett gloated.

"That's not worst part," Edward continued. "Instead of waiting until she calmed down, he yelled at her to stop screaming at him – and this is a direct quote – 'I'm sorry for leaving and everything, okay! Now can I _please_ get a moment's peace?'"

Emmett cringed, but was quick to defend himself. "Okay, that sounds bad. But what am I supposed to do? She won't let me talk to her unless she's yelling at me. It was my only chance!"

Edward rolled his eyes. "This might sound crazy, but you could have tried not yelling back. Have you considered that when she starts yelling you could remain calm and talk to her rationally?"

"She was cussing me out over a fucking towel in a sink in the damn _bathroom_," Emmett snapped. "Towels _belong_ in the fucking bathroom, dude. The chick is not rational, so excuse me for not thinking that she would be very receptive."

"Okay," Edward conceded, "I'll grant you that. Rosalie is difficult. But you are going to have to be the bigger person. You caused the damage to your relationship by leaving. Therefore making things right falls to you. You do not get to be the wounded party."

"She told me she wished she had killed me when she had the chance!" Emmett griped. "And you're telling me I'm not the wounded party?"

"She said that because she was hurt," I reasoned. "People lash out when they're hurt. Look, we're not saying she's perfect. Obviously she hasn't been very fair to you at times, but if you want to make amends, you're going to have to be the one to extend the olive branch. And, to be honest, your efforts so far have been pretty pathetic."

"I'm so glad I came to you two for help," Emmett grumbled. "I thought you guys were all about spreading the love."

"Stop whining and go tell Rosalie you're sorry _nicely_," I said, shoving his knee, as if the physical shove could give him the mental push he so desperately needed. Of course, he didn't budge an inch. "I cannot believe that you're more than ninety years old and you've never learned how to say 'I'm sorry' without pissing people off."

Emmett grinned impishly. "I don't usually have to apologize to women. I just tell them they're welcome. It's all been very straight-forward."

I rolled my eyes. "I take that back. I understand completely. You're a pig."

xx

Three days later, something rather extraordinary happened.

Rosalie smiled at Emmett. At the very least, it was a twitch that could have been read as a smile. If you were quick enough to spot it.

It began with Alice inviting Rosalie to go shopping. (Which made me wonder whether Alice was staying out of Emmett and Rosalie's relationship, as Edward seemed to believe. It appeared to me she was just a lot more subtle than her family gave her credit for.)

According to Alice, she had seen "the cutest, most perfect fall dress in the entire world," on a stranger unwittingly cast as an extra in one of her visions. The sight had inspired her to hunt down the dress. "Hunt" was a frighteningly accurate description; the fervency she showed for finding the garment was rather terrifying. Rosalie took it in stride, agreeing to the excursion, as long she got to drive.

"We're taking my BMW," she declared. "It's just warm enough today that we can drive with the top down without drawing attention. The bad kind, anyway." She jingled the car keys knowingly.

"Sure thing," Alice agreed. She turned to me. "Do you want to come with us? We can make a day of it? It'll be fun."

I shook my head, not interested in the least. A day of chasing Alice and Rosalie around Seattle in search of the holy grail of dresses ranked somewhere on my list of the top ten activities I hoped never to experience. I was just as content spending the day curled up at home with Edward and a book.

Alice frowned, disappointed by my lack of enthusiasm.

"I'm with Bella on this one," Emmett chimed in. "I mean, I don't get it. What's the appeal of spending hours searching for a perfect dress you're only going to discard when it's out of style next season? Save yourself some time and buy what you need online like normal people in this day and age."

"We wouldn't expect you to understand this, Emmett," Rosalie said coolly, "but girls like clothes that actually fit. If something arrives two sizes too big and hideously unlike its online image, we won't shrug it off and wear it anyway."

Emmett shrugged nonchalantly, leaning against the counter, the picture of disinterest. "You would look hot in anything. Oversized paper bags included. So, no, you're right, I don't understand the big deal."

And that was when it happened. Rosalie smiled at him, shiny white teeth and all. It was striking how pretty she really was when the sourness was removed from her expression.

It was so quick that I might not have believed what I had witnessed, if I hadn't turned to Edward – who was nearby, busying himself tending to a pan of fried eggs and only half paying attention to the rest of us – to see if he had seen what I had seen.

He nodded ever so slightly and bit his lip, a signal for me to keep quiet, until Rosalie and Alice had vacated.

Alice allowed Rosalie and Emmett their moment, however brief, before tugging on her sister's hand and dragging her out the door. The rumble of Rosalie's car pulling down the drive soon followed.

Edward's eye caught mine as he handed me a fork and we both grinned, waiting for Emmett, who was still leaning against the other side of the kitchen island with a dopey smile on his face, to speak up.

Edward slipped the eggs he had been cooking onto my plate, looking quite pleased with himself. Since I had told him his eggs were delicious the morning after we had first made love, he had made a habit of making me eggs for breakfast every morning. He was a culinary master when it came to any variation of cooking eggs. It was so sweet that I didn't have the heart to tell him I was getting sick of eggs.

My eyes met Edward's again and we both giggled.

"Okay, you two, what the hell is so funny?" Emmett demanded, the humongous grin slipping from his face as he took in our badly disguised smirks.

Edward shrugged innocently, the action so exaggerated it only made the situation worse. "Whatever do you mean, Emmett? Nothing at all is humorous in this situation."

I muffled a chuckle at Edward's poor acting. Emmett glared at us both. "It's not funny, alright? I'm finally making some progress."

"You're right." I nudged Edward who had seated himself on the barstool next to me, willing him to play nice, but unable to resist one last jab of my own. "Because you've always been so supportive of us and all."

"I have!" Emmett insisted. "Who was the one encouraging Eddie to get it on with you? Me! You should be thanking me. So what's with the crankiness? Has he not been doing it right? _I'm_ the one who should be cranky. Do you have any idea how long it's been for me? Try years!"

Edward made a face. "Did we need to know that? I know this might be a foreign concept, but some people like to keep parts of their lives private."

Emmett scoffed, ignoring him. "I'm not saying I waited around decades saving myself or anything, but single female vampires who want to hook up and aren't looking for a mate are few and far between. Trust me."

I paused mid-chew, surprised to hear that Emmett had been purposely evading commitment. "You don't want to find a mate? Because if you're trying to win Rosalie over only to use and discard her like that…" I trailed off, not wanting to have to point out how disgusting that behaviour would be. It wasn't something I would have previously thought him capable of if he hadn't brought it up.

Emmett's shoulders hunched inward making him seem a fraction of his massive height. His downturned eyes turned bashful.

"It's not like that. When I first met Rosalie, I had no clue what the fuck I wanted. I had just learned I was a fucking _vampire_. I could do anything I wanted without any effort at all. I didn't think I needed anyone. And I definitely didn't think that some blonde chick, even if she was hot as fuck, was going to stick in my mind. Everything fades, right? But if there's one thing I can say about vampire memories, it's that they never fade. Not the slightest. And no one I met compared to her. I wasn't about to lead anyone on and Rosalie wasn't an option then. It seemed harmless if I found someone who was on the same page as me."

"I'm sorry, Emmett," I said after a beat of silence that stretched a moment too long. I glanced at Edward who seemed similarly caught off guard. "We didn't know."

"Emmett, if you told Rosalie what you just told us," Edward said seriously, "you wouldn't be able to fight her off with a steel pole."

Emmett smirked, straightening up, looking much more like the Emmett I was accustomed to. "Oh, Edward. Still so naive. Rosalie is welcome to my steel pole anytime she likes."

Edward scrunched his face in disgust. "You're utterly hopeless. It's like you're allergic to saying the right thing at the right time. That is precisely why Rosalie is always furious with you. And who could blame her?"

Emmett beamed, his chest puffed with pride. "It's all a part of my charm. It's what makes me so loveable. Rosalie won't be able to keep her cool forever."

He paused a beat. "So… Anyone up for Xbox?"

xx

It felt safe to say that vampires were extremely competitive when it came to videogames. Perhaps safe was not the most apt word. Watching Emmett and Edward face off, it was one of few times I could actually see the dangerous side they claimed to have hidden within.

The cute little animated figures whizzed around the screen like someone had spiked their drinks with speed. Vampire hands frantically controlled their movements, to the point where they were a blur, as Edward and Emmett pushed to outdo one another. The console didn't seem to be able to move fast enough to their liking, more than one muttered curse suggested.

"At least reading my next move is fucking useless to you, cheater," Emmett spat, smug that the slowness of the game negated Edward's one clear advantage.

Even Edward, who never cursed in front of me, gritted his teeth and spat the occasional expletive at Emmett, his expression fiery with the desire to win. I pitied the side of Emmett's head, which took the brunt of Edward's glares. Singeing seemed imminent.

Emmett wasn't nearly so restrained, letting his foul temper spew out of his mouth. At one point, he was so caught up in smashing his little joystick in an attempt to beat down Edward's little animated soldier that he snapped the fragile piece of plastic clean off the controller.

Shrugging coolly, he opened a nearby cabinet, retrieving a brand-new controller from a stack of dozens. Apparently it was a common issue in a household full of vampires too caught up in the heat of digital battle to recognize their own strength.

When Jasper and Esme returned from hunting not ten minutes later, they joined in the chaos, facing off with Edward and Emmett in pairs of two.

It was quite a hilarious sight to behold, the ever maternal Esme egging on Edward, who had the misfortune – or perhaps it was fortune – of being paired with her. She could talk trash with the boys like nobody's business.

I wondered what Carlisle would think if he had been present. The sight of his usually sweet, mild-tempered wife cursing at the television screen might just have started his heart beating again. Then again, after decades together, he probably was fully aware of all of her idiosyncrasies. I wondered if he found it endearing or kinda hot… because watching Edward get all riled up was kind of riling me up a little bit too.

I snuggled back into his chest, settling into the perfect spot between his crossed legs that seemed to have been made just to fit me. Earlier, he had tried to teach me how to "kick Emmett's ass," but I had given up all hope of that quickly, once it became apparent my slow human reflexes were no match for Emmett's superior vampire ones. So I settled in to enjoy the show and Edward's arms wrapped haphazardly around me as he wrestled with the controller resting against my knees.

It was dizzying to watch Edward's fingers flying across the rainbow coloured buttons and joysticks. And strangely sexy, when I was reminded of what those fingers felt like on me. Edward groaned, his fingers grinding to a halt as the little character I had determined to be his flew off the screen. I nearly groaned at the abrupt halt, too.

He passed the black controller to me, gesturing for me to try again. "When Emmett and Jasper band together, it's always like this," he complained. "The brawn and the brains of a well-greased military operation. It's unfair."

I shrugged and picked up the device, pressing the buttons as I had been instructed to, choosing Emmett's burly character – that bore a strange resemblance to the man himself – as my target.

Emmett snorted gleefully. "Raw, unadulterated skill is not unfair, Masen, you wuss. Man up and fight back. You're not going to leave us to fight a couple of girls, are you? At least give us a little challenge."

To his great dismay, his character followed the same off-screen arc that Edward's had just taken.

Emmett's roar of indignation echoed around the room. "What the fuck!"

Esme cackled. "Perhaps you should pay less attention to the trash talk and more to the game play, McCarty." She winked at me. "Bella just knocked your ass out while you were chitchatting."

"Damn it," Emmett grumbled, returning to mashing the controls with a new vengeance. "It's the quiet ones you gotta look out for. I said it before, I'll say it again, you landed yourself a firecracker, Ed."

Edward's arms tightened around my waist. "You don't need to tell me twice."

The proud look he shot at me almost cost me what little control I'd managed to attain after knocking Emmett out. Esme was playing a fierce defensive line, making it possible for me to get in a few powerful shots. Meanwhile, Edward played the backseat like champ, whispering key combos in my ear for maximum power in each strike. Our team effort combined with Esme's powerhouse defense made a force to be reckoned with.

"Jazz, we gotta step this up!" Emmett hustled. "You know Mama C and Rosie are brutal, but it looks like they've got a new recruit in Baby B. It's game on!"

Esme winked again, and Edward stroked my back encouragingly. It might have been a strange time to feel a sense of belonging but I felt like I fit with the impossibly beautiful, impossibly graceful creatures that surrounded me.

"Maybe if you'd stop playing like such an idiot there wouldn't be a problem!" Jasper groaned at Emmett. "You're moving out of formation. They're hitting us through the cracks."

"Dude, she hit me first! I had to retaliate! And you expect me to stay in a neat little lineup?"

"If you want to win, yes!" Jasper fiddled with the joystick on his controller at a frenetic pace, fighting to recover the ground Emmett's showboating had cost them.

"Dude, I hate to be the one to tell you you're behind the times, but the whole line up for battle thing died out with the civil war. There's a new thing in town. Remind me to introduce you to guerilla warfare!"

"It's not about lining up," Jasper growled obstinately. "It's about going into battle with a modicum of strategy! Flying in balls out is begging to have them blown off!"

The argument was sent home resoundingly as Emmett's character ricocheted the screen once more, thanks to a swift kick dealt by Esme.

She chuckled darkly at Emmett's growled curse. "The two of you act like you ever had a chance. Need I remind you of last week's shut down? Thank goodness you boys don't have tears to cry any longer or you'd be getting my carpets all wet."

"Are they dry sobbing again, Esme?" a dry, feminine voice called from behind us.

Rosalie was standing behind us, her arm crossed in amusement.

The girls were back from their excursion, loaded down with bags that appeared to weigh no more than a feather in their arms, despite of the mountainous pile of them.

I had gotten so involved in the high-energy atmosphere with the boys and Esme I hadn't even noticed that more than four hours had passed. Even Carlisle was due home from the hospital soon.

"We didn't find the dress," Alice pouted, "But we did get some cool stuff." She dropped one of the bags in Jasper's lap with a saucy wink.

He peeked in it, emerging with a smile on his face. "Tonight," he mouthed at her.

Rosalie set her bags down on the nearest flat space and sauntered into the room, seating herself in the only free space… a spot on the couch next to Emmett. She grinned cockily at him over her shoulder. Emmett didn't seem to care what her intentions were, he beamed back at her as if she had just promised him the sun. I had a feeling he was just happy that she wasn't irate over something he had done, for once.

"Fancy a rematch?" Rosalie drawled, naturally seductive. "I'll take the human. Call it a handicap."

"What makes you think I need a handicap? You got lucky last week. I'll take Bella and I'll still win," Emmett boasted.

I eyed them both dispassionately. "I may not have super hearing, but I do still have ears, you know. And as nice as it is that you're arguing over who gets stuck with me, I think I'll sit this one out." I handed the controller to Edward, but he shook his head, discreetly eyeing Alice and handing it back to me.

Alice plopped herself on the floor next to Jasper, curling her legs beneath herself gracefully. "Trust me, you'll have fun, Bella. Emmett's going to love having you on his team."

They were up to something. I just wasn't sure what it was, yet.

Rosalie smirked. "Okay, then it's settled. Emmett and Bella versus me and..." She paused, glancing around the room, fixing each of the remaining vampires with a discerning stare. "Esme."

The others murmured their approval. Esme's skills were well tested, apparently.

"I hate to be a drag, Emmett," I input, "but I hope you don't mind losing."

Emmett rolled his eyes and gave me a strong pat on the back that was probably meant to be reassuring but nearly sent me through the floor instead. "You and Esme were kicking some serious ass just now."

"Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but that was all Esme and she's your opponent, now."

Emmett shrugged, flashing a cheerful smile at me. "If we lose, no biggie, right? I mean it's just a game. Edward will still love you, won't you Edward?"

Edward shrugged playfully. "I don't know… how badly are you planning on losing?"

xx

True to Alice's word, Emmett sincerely seemed to enjoy playing with me.

As it turned out, he was much better as a defender than an offender. The change in his playing style was drastic. Responsible for my safety as well as his own, he took fewer risks and afforded me plenty of opportunity to use the more complex key combinations. He was just as effective, maybe more so, than Esme had been. The big oaf might have had an absolute disregard for his own safety – real or perceived – but when it came to protecting someone he felt needed the security, me, as it turned out, he was impervious.

Rosalie seemed surprised that Emmett and I were holding our own, gritting her teeth and pushing the game to the limits of its capabilities; the poor blonde girl she had chosen spun and twisted around the screen looking more like the Tasmanian devil than the warrior princess she was purported to be.

Rosalie's need to move faster than the console would allow frustrated her, manifesting in some bad plays, or so Edward said. (If not for the fact that the animations were intended for human eyes, I would have been completely in the dark.) I was just plugging along trying not to make Emmett look too bad. According to Edward's running commentary, Rosalie had made the mistake of attempting to hit Emmett because she was upset he had gained the upper hand. As a result, Emmett had been prepared for her misplaced aggression and she was met with an impenetrable wall. (That particular slice of commentary had earned Edward an especially nasty side eye from Rosalie.)

It didn't take long for Esme to follow suit and fall into the downward spiral Rosalie had started. Within a minute, Esme's character was eliminated, leaving Rosalie to defend herself against both Emmett and I.

Esme smiled around the room, the epitome of casual innocence. "Oops, I slipped."

It didn't take a genius to figure out she had thrown the game.

I was as spatially unaware as they came; I knew a thing or two about slipping. And Esme had done no such thing. As if the fact I had yet to see a vampire slip on anything, virtual or otherwise, wasn't enough, the serene smile on her face gave her away. I had been around the family often enough to know Esme was passionate in competition and a loss was not an event to be taken lightly.

Rosalie threw down her controller in frustration, leaving a rather sizable dent in the coffee table, as she met the same fate as her adopted mother. Colourful letters danced across the screen declaring 'King Emmett' and 'Emmett Jr.' – both Emmett's choices – the winners.

Emmett whooped, holding out a hand for me to slap. I did so gingerly, aware there was potential for me to break my wrist.

"You're a good luck charm, girl," he praised, grinning from ear to ear as he turned to Rosalie. Smug had nothing on the look he shot her. "Rosie? Got something you want to say to me?"

Rosalie pursed her lips, her delicate features arranged into an acidic pout. "Not particularly." The undercurrent of admiration that softened her eyes hinted she wasn't as appalled as she pretended to be.

Emmett scooted closer to her, closing the distance between them on the couch. "Aww, come on, don't be like that. Bella and I won fair and square. Admit it, I am the master. You bow down to my almightiness."

Rosalie sniffed, her eyes suddenly hard, all admiration sapped from them. "The only thing mighty about you is your ego." She stood nimbly. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm getting out of here before Emmett's head explodes."

She disappeared out the back window a moment later, only a blur of blonde hair and dark clothing visible.

Everyone turned to face Emmett at the same time, directing an assortment of amused smirks and confounded smiles at him.

He stared at us all, astounded. "What?"

Edward was the first to respond. "What do you think?" He held up his hand to stop Emmett from interrupting. "Wait, now. Don't answer too quickly. Take a little time to think about it."

Emmett paused, mulling over his options. "Do you think I should go after her?" he asked, his voice just shy of timid. His obliviousness was actually kind of adorable.

Taking in the nodding heads all around, he stood, determination in his step. "Okay. Okay, yeah, I can do that." He nodded several times, psyching himself up. He glanced back at us for further direction.

"Just go!" Alice grumbled, rolling her eyes good-naturedly, "And think before you even _think_ about talking!"

Edward curled an arm around my waist as we watched Emmett heed Alice's command.

"What is the likelihood of him improving the situation, do you think?" Edward asked once Emmett had disappeared into the forest.

"Fifty/fifty?" I proposed.

Edward chuckled. "For his sake, let's hope his odds are that good."

xx

We didn't linger long after Emmett and Rosalie left.

Carlisle returned home shortly afterward, bringing with him awkward patches of silence that the rest of the family overcompensated for.

Edward had become genuinely friendly with most of the Cullens. Even his relationship with Rosalie had improved. He was making quicker progress than Emmett, anyway. When he was forced to spend time with Carlisle, however, it became apparent that Edward still hadn't completely forgotten Carlisle keeping him in the dark about the circumstances regarding his transformation.

I wanted to be sympathetic to Edward's position. I understood that his change was a transformative event for him – literally and metaphorically – and that the rewriting of that formative event had shaken him. But at the same time, it had happened nearly a century ago. Carlisle was a good man with good intentions, and Edward knew that as well as I did. My vampire was just a little too stubborn for his own good.

He would come around eventually, I knew. He was slow to trust, but when he did, he trusted fully, as his one time destructive dynamic with James and Victoria had proven. Even though he wasn't in the dark when it came to their flaws, he had continued to defend their place in his life until they had posed a threat too large to ignore.

Just as he had eventually recognized that James and Victoria were not the kind of influences he needed, he would recognize that Carlisle was exactly the kind of person he wanted on his side.

Edward was uncharacteristically distracted from the conversations going on around him. He was fidgety, playing with strands of my hair and offered short, to the point answers only when someone spoke to him directly.

I cupped his cheek in my hand, imploring him to meet my eyes. He did so easily, the pure undiluted trust in them, squeezing my heart. He was so capable of trust when he allowed himself to be.

"Are you okay? You've been really quiet."

He nodded, the smooth skin of his cheek nuzzling my palm. "I'm fine. Would it be okay with you if we leave soon?"

"We can leave now, if you'd like."

His answer came in the form of him hauling me to my feet not half a second after I'd extended the offer.

"You can spend the night at the cottage if you'd like," Carlisle offered kindly, having overheard; in this house eavesdropping was practically expected. "If you need to make arrangements with the Chief, I'm sure Alice will be more than willing to provide an alibi."

Alice gave us a surreptitious wink.

My cheeks turned hot, remembering the last time she had had to cover for me, the night I had spent with Edward at the very same cottage. Every person in this house was well aware of what had happened that night. At times it was embarrassing but I couldn't deny I appreciated the way they offered their whole-hearted support, never questioning my maturity or ability to make those decisions for myself.

Edward cracked a sincere smile at the offer. "Thank you Carlisle, we would appreciate that."

I tightened my grip on him, silently commending him for making the effort. They might never have the easy relationship that he had with Emmett but it was a start.

Carlisle beamed, clapping Edward on the back in brotherly way. "Anytime. It's yours whenever you need it. We will always have a place for you and Bella."

xx

Though it was still early, the skies were already darkening and there was a definite chill in the air. Edward had insisted on bundling me up in a blanket before we left, his hypochondriac tendencies still in full force when it came to my wellbeing. I didn't mind so much. As much as I enjoyed teasing him about it, there was that girly part of me that enjoyed feeling cherished. I had yet to get so much as a cold this season, so he might have been on to something.

It was exhilarating clutching on to Edward as he ran through the forest, the low sun shining warmth onto the changing leaves all around us. The rainbow of fall colours was something I had never really experienced in Phoenix. The trees just didn't change the way they did here. It was still plenty green, yes, but there was a healthy splash of oranges, reds and golds.

Out of nowhere, Edward stopped dead in his tracks. The force of the sudden stop knocked the wind out of me as I was smushed up against his back. It was enough to startle me out of my appreciation of the landscape.

"Edward?"

He was deadly silent for a moment. It was enough to scare me. I'd only seem him clam up on very few occasions and it was never a good thing. The last time, it had been because he had smelled James nearby.

I gripped his shoulders, slightly terrified, until I followed his gaze. Not twenty yards in front of us was the cottage. Leaning against the wood siding, tangled in a pile of limbs, were Rosalie and Emmett, kissing with such ferocity that I wondered briefly if they were hurting one another. Their pleasured moans wiped away that notion.

Edward held a finger up to his smirking lips, reminding me that one wrong noise and they would be alerted to our presence. Though I wasn't sure that was quite true. They seemed lost in themselves. They hadn't heard us yet, after all. Edward was a quiet runner but we had hardly been inconspicuous.

Quietly, Edward backed away, intending to give the pair their space. As much as Edward enjoyed teasing Emmett, he had a soft spot for romance – though I was hard pressed to call what Emmett and Rosalie were doing romantic – and he wasn't about to destroy their moment.

My body had other plans.

I felt the telltale tickle in my nose. I tried to stop it, squeezing my eyes shut, but it was no use. The sneeze exploded from me like a shot.

Emmett and Rosalie twisted in our direction, seeking out the source of interruption. I wiggled my fingers at them in a sarcastic wave, annoyed with myself. At the sight of me and Edward standing a mere twenty yards away, they disentangled themselves so quickly it verged on laughable; they were little more than a blur of feigned nonchalance.

Edward snorted, probably amused with me as much as the situation. I buried my face in his neck, hiding from the magenta colour I could feel rising up my neck.

"Hello, Emmett, Rosalie," Edward greeted cheerfully, letting me slide down his back to stand next to him. "Fancy running into the two of you out here. How are you this fine evening?"

Emmett cut his eyes at him. "Cut the crap, Edward. Were you spying on us?" He glanced sideways at Rosalie, who was standing rigidly, holding herself away from him.

Edward shot him an appalled glare. "Contrary to what you might believe, I do have better things to do than stalk you and Rosalie. If I was going to spy on you, do you really think I would bring along my girlfriend?"

"We were just on our way to the cottage. Carlisle said we could stay," I added helpfully. "And then we saw you and Rosalie and you were…" I gestured abstractly. "Well, you know the rest."

"Look," Rosalie's cold voice cut through the clearing. She stared off into the trees, refusing to meet anyone's eyes. "It's done now. There's no point in talking about it. I'd appreciate it if we could all forget this happened. Please." The note of pleading was unambiguous, and frankly, unnerving, coming from Rosalie.

Emmett stared at the ground helplessly, his massive shoulders hunched. My stomach twisted for him. He looked miserable. I didn't blame him. It was my fault, really. If only I hadn't shattered their little moment, maybe it would have found a better conclusion.

Edward shot Emmett a loaded look. "The two of you probably need to talk," he suggested. "It's getting kind of late, and it's a school night. I should probably take Bella home, anyway."

I felt a twinge of disappointment that we wouldn't be able to stay at the cottage, but fought it down, reminding myself that they needed the privacy more. Edward and I were already sickeningly happy, if you were to believe our friends (I thought we were just the right amount of happy). Emmett and Rosalie deserved a chance to find the same.

Neither Emmett nor Rosalie said anything in response, maintaining their stiff, awkward distance from one another. Edward took their silence as confirmation, scooping me up as though I weighed nothing and whisking me away before either of them could find their voices.

When we were a safe distance away, Edward grinned teasingly at me. "That went well."

I grumbled, wrapping my arms around his neck to steady myself. "Emmett was finally getting somewhere with Rosalie, and then I came along and destroyed it."

"You didn't," Edward reassured. "They got caught up in a moment today. Rosalie likes that Emmett challenges her. She has always been turned on by the fact that he doesn't just roll over and obey… but she's still questioning whether she can trust him. If it wasn't you, it would have been something else that put on the brakes. They've come a long way, but they still have issues to work through."

I hummed, my guilt only partially satiated. "I hope they figure it out soon. Rosalie needs someone like Emmett, even if she doesn't know it yet. He might be a pain in the ass, but they're going to be good for one another, I just know it."

"They will. Alice will make certain of it. You saw the way she and Esme were quietly maneuvering Rosalie and Emmett together today. They're less subtle than they think."

"Sure. If you're a mind reader, no one is ever subtle." I scratched my nails through the short hairs on the back of his neck, letting him know I was playing with him.

It seemed to have a different effect than intended, not that I minded much.

He growled lowly, the purring sound I loved so much rumbling in his chest. "Bella, you're playing with fire. If you keep doing that…" He left the threat empty, but it was promise enough.

"I'm looking forward to it," I whispered.

My skin tingled, desperate to have him alone in my small twin. I would have preferred the king sized bed I had gotten used to curling up in at the Cullen's but I wasn't picky. The quaint two-story I called home was closer and just within view thanks to Edward's voracious need for speed.

I frowned at the sight of my father's police cruiser in the driveway.

Edward led me up the front steps, ignoring my facetious suggestion that we make use of my bedroom window instead.

Charlie didn't so much as blink when I walked in with Edward. He was in the kitchen making himself a sandwich, which he paused making just long enough to greet us and ask a few cursory questions about how school was progressing.

He had become accustomed to the idea that we operated as a pair now. Of course, he remained blissfully unaware that Edward spent each night in my bed, but that was probably just as well for the good mental health of all parties involved.

He was friendly with Edward… as friendly as Charlie ever was, anyway. I was pretty sure that friendliness hinged on the belief that Edward and I maintained a relatively chaste relationship. I was more than content to let him live in ignorance.

One parent being privy to the details of my romantic life was more than enough. Ever since her lecture on the advantages of birth control, Renee had it in her head that Edward and I, young and horny wandering souls that we were, were in dire need of advice and direction, which she offered freely. I was just waiting for the day I received a couriered copy of the Kama Sutra post marked from Florida. That one would be hard to explain to Charlie.

Unlike Renee, Charlie was quick to turn his head the other way. He shrugged off my hasty excusal, his focus already shifting back to the television as I led Edward upstairs, walking a little more quickly than was polite.

I closed the door to my room behind us, flopping face-first onto my bed with a groan. I tried to forget that we were supposed to be spending the night alone in the Cullen cottage.

Edward settled himself next to me, kissing the back of my head.

"What's wrong?"

"Charlie," I said, as though the one word explained everything.

Edward grinned, a mischievous little boy with a dangerous edge. "I can be quiet if you can."

I sat up so suddenly I felt light-headed. That was the last thing I had expected to hear from Edward. He was usually so conscious of appropriateness and respecting my father's home. With the man himself just downstairs, there was no way he had just spoken those words to me.

Sometimes I would start to think I had a pretty good grasp of what went on in Edward's head, or at the very least, in tiny little niches of it, and then he would go and say something like that and shock the hell out of me. For all his grumbling that he couldn't get a read on me, he was the real enigma in this relationship.

His eyes met my doubtful ones and he shrugged, curling a stand of my hair around his finger, toying with me.

"What? I told you if you kept torturing me, there were going to be consequences. Did you think I would renege? You should know by now, Bella, I'm a man of my word."

The seductive edge to his voice weaved around me. Coupled with the purposefully sensuous way he was twirling my hair, I could almost feel the haze of lust settling around us. I turned so I could straddle myself on his lap, ignoring the creeping dizzy-drunk sensation.

"I hoped not. But I know how you feel about Charlie's house, Charlie's rules. I don't think he would like you defiling his only daughter very much. Under his roof, no less."

Edward trailed a series of feather-light kisses along my throat, his eyes darkening in the predatory way they always did just before we came together. No longer butterscotch, they were a dark topaz. I loved that his little tells, the ones that told me he wanted me just as much as I wanted him, were becoming increasingly familiar to me.

"What can I say? I'm a rebel. You bring it out in me. It's really all your fault for being so damn…" He paused, skimming a finger down my arm, raising a trail of goosebumps. "…magnificent." His tongue scraping the skin just below my ear punctuated his statement. The tingling sensation of his venom made my head spin.

I shivered, clutching the distressed leather of his jacket in fisted hands and forcing my breathing to remain steady.

"Laying it on a little thick, aren't you? You already have me, you know," I breathed, trying to remember how to form words properly, but not really caring if I could, so long as he didn't stop. I wrapped myself tighter around him, pressing our bodies together greedily.

His lips met mine, curling into a smile through our kiss. "I tell it like I see it," he whispered, his tongue finding mine in languid strokes.

"Charmer," I managed to retort through the welcome assault.

His chuckle rolled through our bodies at every point of contact. "You know you like it."

I hummed in agreement. There was no debating that point. "Do you know what I'd like more?" I pushed at his shoulders, encouraging him to lay back on the bed. He did so without comment, pulling me down on top of him.

"I think I could guess." To illustrate that he was well aware of the turn my thoughts had taken, his hands found the zip on my hoodie, pulling it down. The garment found a new home on the floor a moment later.

His cool lips traced the exposed flesh along the neckline of my thin tank top. I quivered as his mouth found its way along my cleavage, tantalizingly close to where I wanted it. Not caring if it was presumptuous, I grabbed the hem and pulled it over my head unceremoniously, my bra following a moment later.

The flurry of activity was matched by Edward pulling off his jacket and sweater in a blur of undone zippers and buttons.

We pressed our naked skin together, each muffling sighs, awareness that we were not alone in the house colouring our actions, though certainly not enough to stop. We had been beyond that point since the moment Edward had asked me if I could be quiet.

More relaxed kisses followed as the pile of clothing on the hardwood grew.

I marveled at the effortless dynamic we had developed in only a couple short weeks. It seemed like only yesterday I had been pleading with Edward to push himself just a little further. Now that that boundary had been breached, there was no putting the beast unleashed back into the box. We were both aware of how good we felt together.

Even Edward's fierce protective streak was not enough to overshadow the craving we had for each other now. I was immensely proud of him for having the courage to trust himself. I knew it was more difficult for him to let go of that little bit of control than he let on, but I was greedy, I would take as much as he was willing to offer.

He rolled us over, carefully, so we didn't tumble off the narrow mattress and held himself over me.

Edward preferred for me to be on top, because it was easier for him to moderate his strength. He might have loosened up some but he was still deathly afraid of hurting me, even if only unintentionally. I relished the times that he took the lead because it didn't happen often. I savoured the feel of his weight pinning me to the mattress and the cool relief of his skin against the burning temperature of mine.

"Okay?" he murmured shakily into my shoulder, ever considerate of my needs, as he pushed to join our bodies.

I would have thought that the way my hips were rising to meet his, gratuitously seeking friction, would have been affirmation enough. I hummed my appreciation, anyway, the ability to articulate caught up in the jumble that made up my brain function when he was inside of me.

It wasn't until his mouth was on mine, absorbing my gratified noises that I was making that I realized I was making them at all. The stray thought that Charlie could have heard was swallowed by the satisfaction of how _good_ it felt.

As always, Edward's control far outweighed my own. His low, husky sighs and groans were quiet but definitely no less sexy. The quiet mantra of my name on his lips was almost better than the act itself. Almost. Knowing that I could make him, someone I once thought had to be related to the gods, feel that way was a pleasure in and of itself. I treasured knowing that I was the only one who ever would, because he had chosen me as his _mate_.

The primitive term had never sounded so sexy.

He clutched me tighter to him, burying his face in the pillows next to my head. I knew he was close. He always cuddled me when he was wanting, needing, to be wrapped up in me during the final moments before his orgasm hit. He was holding off, though, waiting for me.

He always disliked going first. The part of him that wanted to protect and pamper me needed to bring on my pleasure before he sought his own. Calling on every modicum of willpower I possessed, I staved off my own orgasm.

I dragged my nails up his back and through his hair roughly, my teeth meeting the skin on his neck that I knew from past experience made him groan and his toes curl.

He buckled under the unexpected sensations, his weight pressing even more fully into me as he was given no choice but to surrender. His hips continued to move instinctively against mine as he rode out the final surges of pleasure. That was all it took for me to follow, chasing after him into bliss.

When every ounce of pleasure had been sapped from our bodies, Edward rolled us so that he was underneath me, my body half-sprawled against his chest. It was surprisingly comfortable. I pressed my cheek against his chest, his coolness a relief to my flushed skin. I inhaled deeply. I loved the way he smelled after we had been intimate.

"That was amazing," he hummed, without so much as a hint of breathlessness. "Even if you did pull out all the dirty tricks in the end, there."

"You liked it… even dirty," I pointed out smugly. Next to him I sounded like I had just finished running a marathon. I felt surprisingly rejuvenated, however.

"Of course I did," he assured, kissing the top my head. "It was you. How could I not?"

"Well, get used to it. I have a few tricks up my sleeve yet, dirty and otherwise."

He laughed. "I don't doubt it. We should probably get dressed. Charlie is absorbed in SportsCenter for now, but there's no telling how long that will last."

"Until he falls asleep in his recliner, probably," I said dryly, but heeded the advice anyway, reaching into my dresser to secure a loose t-shirt and a pair of lounge shorts.

As soon as the clothes were on, I returned to his side, snuggling against him. He had finished dressing in the blink of an eye. It was really kind of unfair how little time I was afforded to ogle him naked and bent over while he pulled up a pair of boxers.

"I'm not really tired." I was relaxed and boneless but not in the mood to sleep. "Will you read to me?" I suggested.

Edward's reading voice was probably among the best things in the universe. Morgan Freeman would be out on the curb if the world caught wind of Edward's voice wrapped around _The Complete Sonnets_.

He nodded, plucking one of his mother's first editions from my bookshelves. I glanced approvingly at the embossed title. It was impossible to go wrong with the Brontë sisters.

I snuggled into the cool sheets, eyes closed and perfectly content, waiting for Edward's soothing voice to fill the room.

The sound of a cloth dampened ping forced them open.

Edward was holding a old key, that appeared to have fallen from the book.

"What's it a key for?" I asked, curiously running a fingertip across the worn brass.

Edward frowned at the piece of metal, turning it in his hands. "It looks like the key to our house. It must have been my mother's copy. Though why she would have stored it in a copy of _Wuthering Heights_… I have not the fainted idea."

"The one in Chicago?"

He nodded, pointing to the engraving on the key. "The very one. 2013 Lincoln Park."

"You lived near Lincoln Park? I don't know much about Chicago, but even I've heard of Lincoln Park."

He shrugged modestly. "Close, yes. My father was a lawyer and both my parents came from well-off families. We lived in a nice neighborhood. It wasn't the best but it was a pleasant place to grow up. We'll have to visit the old Masen house some time. It's been decades since I've visited properly but I'm sure it's still standing."

I giggled, imagining Edward as a little boy, running around playing with other children in the park. Windblown bronze hair and pink cheeks invaded my thoughts. He must have been adorable then, young and human.

"Sometimes it's easy to forget you've been around for so long. I wish I had known you then. I bet you were the cutest thing. You've seen my baby pictures, it only seems fair…"

He twined his fingers with mine. "I'm quite happy with the way things turned out, though, so I'll count my blessings." He pressed the key into my hand. "But I'll tell you what, someday we can go back and I'll show you the whole two pictures my mother had of me."

"Deal." I tucked the key into the drawer of my nightstand for safekeeping. I had every intention of holding him to that promise. "2013 Lincoln Park," I reiterated. His birthdate and mine. I wondered if fate was trying to tell us something.

Edward opened the book once again, tucking me into the crook of his arm.

I must have been more tired than I thought. The ebb and flow of his voice had me asleep within minutes.

When I woke up, the other side of the bed, if it even be called that, was empty. I didn't need to reach out to know he wasn't there. The tiny twin didn't allow for that much distance.

My first thought was that he had gone hunting but the brightly shining sun put that theory to rest. Edward always hunted in the dark of night while I slept. He was there when I woke in the morning. Always.

The shrill ringing of my phone pulled me from my pondering.

Edward.

I didn't bother to check the call display before answering.

"Bella?"

Disappointment flared at the sound of Alice's voice.

"Where are you guys? It's nearly ten. You missed first period."

I glanced at the bright green numbers on my nightstand, which assured me it was indeed well past the start of the school day. A curl of worry rose in my stomach. Edward always woke me up in time for school. Where was he?

"Edward's not with you?" I asked Alice a bit more brashly than I intended. "Is he with the others?"

"No. We thought he was with you. We haven't seen him since last night."

"No," The single syllable trembled unsteadily as full fledged panic began to overtake me. "He's not here. He's gone."


	35. Desolate

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Thirty-five; Desolate_

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN: **__So, not too bad on the update time this time around. Summer's over, so that means I'm going to try to be better. We're getting very close to the end. I've offered varying estimates to some of you in the past, but this is truly the final stretch._

_I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it :) Though I think some of you are going to be a little shocked, based on the reactions to the last chapter. (I'd appreciate it if wait until I finish the story to kill me, though…)_

xx

Alice was eerily calm and rational. Her all-business voice was the polar opposite of her usual exuberant speaking voice.

"Stay where you are. I'll be there in two minutes."

I nodded, still trembling, before I remembered she couldn't see me. "Okay," I whispered, but the phone-line was dead before the word left my lips.

I pulled on a sweater, hugging it tightly around myself, even though I was well aware my shivering had little to do with the cool air that crept through the old windows. Unable to stay there, in sight of the bed Edward had laid with me in last night when I didn't know where he was or if he was okay, my feet carried me downstairs.

The main floor of the house was empty. Peeking out the front window, I confirmed that Charlie's police cruiser was gone. I was alone in the house.

I considered getting myself a bowl of cereal and pretending like it was any other morning but my stomach was too twisted with apprehension to entertain the idea of eating. I didn't think I could keep it down even if I could force my body into the mundane routine. Suddenly, I really missed Edward's eggs.

Thinking the fresh air might help, I let myself out the front door. The crisp November wind whipped through my loose knit of my sweater, but I hardly felt the chill. I sat on second of the two rickety wooden steps that led the house to wait for Alice. She would be here any second now.

I tried not to let my thoughts wander too deeply into where Edward could be but it was a wasted effort. It was the only thing on my mind. I was positive he wouldn't have just up and left without telling me.

Up until yesterday we had been making plans for the future and they had always involved us, together. He had promised to take me to visit his house. As he had said last night, he was a man of his word. I refused to think he had chosen to leave. If he had made such a rash decision, wouldn't Alice have seen anyway? Was that why she had felt she had to rush over here? Why hadn't she said anything on the phone?

I pushed those thoughts out of my head. They weren't true. I _knew_ Edward hadn't left me. I was his mate and the bond between us was unbreakable… it was mythological, beyond rational explanation.

But that left other possibilities I wanted to think about even less. Edward was nearly indestructible, but he wasn't the only one of his kind. Vampires were hardly known for their scruples. What if he had run into a nomad while hunting? Someone vicious and territorial who would have no qualms ripping him to pieces if he so much as…

I nearly jumped when I felt a hand on my back. Startled from my hunched position, I looked up into Alice's concerned eyes.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

Emmett flanked my other side, the picture of solemnity. Gone was his cheerful grin. The lilac half circles that typically ringed his eyes were a dark violet. With his joy extinguished, he looked to have aged a decade in the few hours since I had seen him last. It terrified me.

"I'm fine," I told Alice quietly. But I didn't want to talk about me. "Did you find Edward? Did you see what happened to him? Where is he?" The questions poured from my mouth in a continuous stream, before I could even consider pretending I wasn't a frayed ball of nerves.

I looked between the two of them attempting to gauge the situation. There was really no need. I had known they had nothing I wanted to hear the moment I had spotted their matching solemn faces.

Alice's guilty eyes settled on the scuffed patio stones under our feet. "Bella..."

"Please, just tell me what you know," I entreated, not in the mood for sympathy or winding explanations. I wanted to know what was wrong so we could fix it and get Edward back where he belonged: with me.

"She deserves to know, Al," Emmett added at Alice's hesitance. "She's his mate. You can't protect her from this. God knows I wish I could. Like in one of those damn video games. But this is real."

There was no worse confirmation. The knot that had been growing in my chest since the moment I had discovered Edward missing threatened to burst me. I held on to my tears, stubbornly refusing to let myself cry.

"James and Victoria got to him while he was outside. Hunting, probably," Alice admitted softly. "There was a scuffle in your backyard. The grass was pretty torn up near the tree line. He put up a good struggle, but it wasn't a fair fight. He didn't stand a chance."

Something resembling fury burned a path up my throat. I didn't like to throw around the word hate – it was a strong word – but in that moment I absolutely hated James and Victoria. How dare they dangle a life of freedom in front of him, only to yank it back again? Hadn't they hurt him enough over the years?

"But James hates Edward!" I countered, verging on hysterical. "He promised Edward they would leave him alone! Why would they want to take him?"

"James and Victoria aren't very honorable, B. Even for vampires," Emmett pointed out. "I highly doubt James cares what he promised Edward if he thought there was something to gain by taking him."

"From what we can tell, they took him alive, so chances are they're reclaiming him," Alice explained. "Which means they probably don't want him dead."

I refused to process the "probably" in that sentence. The hope that Edward was out there, somewhere, needing us, lit a fire in me. All I wanted to know was what we were going to do to get him back.

Emmett's expression twitched at the sight of my determined face. "We'll find him, Bella," he vowed, correctly reading my intention. "If it's the last thing any of us do, we'll find Edward. They won't get away with this."

"Jasper, Esme and Rosalie are following the scent they left as we speak." Alice's all-business voice had returned with a vengeance. "It appears to be leading to the coast. If they take him through a large body of water, following the scent further could prove difficult."

"Which is why those assholes did it," Emmett grumbled under his breath.

"But not impossible," I pressed. They nodded.

"We'll scour possible exit points down shore to see if we can recapture the scent, if it comes to that," Alice explained.

"Which it will," Emmett mumbled. At Alice's glare, he added, "What? It will, Al. They're planning on dragging him through the Pacific and you know it. They think they'll be able to pull him out from under us while you're blind."

Alice's glowering stare intensified. "Emmett!"

"Blind?" I questioned numbly.

My understanding had been that Alice saw James and Victoria with much lesser accuracy than average thanks to Victoria's gift for self-protection. Somehow Victoria had managed to perfect her ability to block Alice from seeing her, knitting her protective blanket to eliminate the sporadic gaps in coverage that had once existed. I felt sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

Alice wrung her hands together in her lap. "I'm so sorry Bella. Last night I was trying to give you guys your privacy. And then this morning when you didn't show up at school, I just assumed you two got caught up fooling around and tried to stay out of it. I should have been paying better attention. Now he's been gone for hours. Victoria has thrown her invisibility cloak over him and locked him off my map. I can't see him at all. Not even a glimpse." She bit her lip, the weight of her guilt clear. "I let him down. I should have been paying attention. We wouldn't have lost nearly seven hours if I had been paying attention to when he disappeared from my visions."

"Seven hours," I repeated, emotionless. Edward had disappeared at three in the morning and I'd slept soundly through his abduction. My own guilt prickled.

Emmett wrapped a beefy arm around me gently. He looked at Alice for guidance, trying his best not to make the situation worse. She looked just as stricken as I felt. Gingerly, Emmett extended his arm to hold her too.

"Maybe you guys should go help the others," I suggested, desperate. "If there's more of you, you can cover more ground. You can find him faster."

Emmett shook his head firmly. "Someone has to stay with you. We can't rule out the possibility that they might be using you to keep Edward compliant. If they are, there's a chance they may return to try to take you for added leverage. Can you imagine the power they would have over him if they had you too? We can't take that risk."

He wasn't intending to be hurtful, but the words stung.

I could be causing Edward pain. Edward was a little jagged around the edges at times, but he was selfless when it came to putting me first. He would take grueling beatings and cruelly barbed taunts if he thought he was saving me from the same.

In seven hours, they could have whisked him to the other end the world, and tucked themselves into some dingy little town – just like Forks – where no one in their right mind would dare think to look. He could be trapped in a life that gave new meaning to the phrase "vicious circle."

If James and Victoria managed to get Edward past the Cullens now and go into hiding, there would be no way of finding them other than sheer luck. It was terrifying to think about the size of the world in the face of such an event… there were millions upon millions of places where they could disappear into the earth. If Victoria's protection held steady it could be weeks or months or years before even a tiny fraction of the possibilities could be covered.

Years.

Maybe never.

My body seemed to melt out from underneath me. Alice and Emmett and the grey skies of Forks all seemed to wash together before my eyes.

Vaguely I was aware that Emmett was trying to get my attention, but my body refused to submit to any command I was making of it. It felt like my entire being was trapped in my head with the awful thoughts that had overtaken it.

Maybe James and Victoria were torturing him. They tortured their "food," right? Why not Edward? He'd only be another innocent victim in a string of thousands.

Maybe Alice was wrong and they really did want him dead. Maybe they had taken him away to kill him, for some crimes they felt he had committed in their distorted minds. They couldn't very well kill him on the Cullens' doorstep without inciting a war. They would need to be discreet.

The possibility of _never_ struck home again, worse than before.

Forcibly, I evicted the thought. Rosalie, Jasper and Esme were looking for him now. They would find him. My panic would be wasted. They would bring him home to me, safe and sound. Tomorrow this would all be some cruel twist of fate we could bury beneath better memories.

The world around me began to turn again, slowly, like creaky old cogs learning to find a rhythm after years of disuse. The beginnings of a headache pounding in the back of my skull made it hard to focus but I pushed through the fog, disliking the hazy feeling it forced on me.

Emerging past the fog, it registered that I was sitting in a small white-washed room.

Emmett and Alice still flanked me, wearing the same matching concerned faces I had seen on them last. Only now, Dr. Cullen added a third, completing the trifecta.

They all stared at me unblinkingly, waiting for something. I stared back, unsure what they wanted. I got the feeling I was supposed to provide it.

Confused, I touched the padded table below me. I recognized the worn green pleather from previous visits.

"I'm in the hospital?" I stated after a minute of gathering my bearings. I knew what I was saying was true. I just didn't know how I had gotten here. Last I recalled, I had been sitting on the stoop outside my father's house.

Dr. Cullen shot me a compassionate smile. "It seems you went into shock. Do you remember what happened?"

I was pretty sure the memory Dr. Cullen was asking for was one I would never forget.

I nodded, wincing as the movement jolted the pick axe wedged in the back of my head. "Edward is gone. James and Victoria took him. The others are looking for him," I recited. Repeating the issue at hand brought on a different kind of pain. "Did they find him?"

Any hope that might have lingered was squashed by Alice's earnest face. The other two remained carefully neutral for my sake but Alice was an open book.

I waved my hand at her. "It's okay," I whispered. "I won't go mental again, I promise. I just... panicked. Please. Tell me the truth."

She griped my hand, offering her support.

"Not yet. Emmett was right, the trail went cold at the Pacific. They're scanning the coast now, looking for signs, but there was a thunderstorm down in northern California a couple hours ago…" she trailed off uncertainly.

I swallowed hard, forcing myself to remain calm, at least outwardly. I squeezed the hell out of Alice's hand. "Okay."

It wasn't okay at all.

I needed to do something. As wonderful as it was that the Cullens had banded together immediately, no questions asked, to help find Edward, I couldn't sit by idly. I needed to know I was doing everything _I _could.

"What can I do to help?"

Alice's concerned look morphed into a pitying one. "Bella, I wish we could give you something to do but truthfully, right now, making sure you stay safe is the best thing you can do."

"That isn't doing anything!" I countered. "That's doing nothing! And who knows where Edward is or... or what they're doing to him!" The tears I had promised myself I would hold back streamed down my cheeks unchecked.

Carlisle sat on the table next to me wrapping an arm around me paternally, abandoning his professional bedside manner. "We all want to bring him home. However, at this moment in time, keeping you safe and healthy should be your number one priority, as it is ours. You're still recovering from shock. We're in this together and we need to be strong together."

Emmett knelt in front of me. Even so, he was just barely shorter than me. He stared at me intently, as serious as I'd ever seen him. "We _will_ find Edward, B. We will. And when we do, we'll make sure James and Victoria never touch him again."

"We can phone the others and see how they're doing. See if they've found anything new?" Alice suggested, holding up a sleek black phone. "It's been a while since they've checked in."

"Okay," I agreed, though part of me dreaded hearing further bad news.

Alice punched in a number on the phone. Jasper answered on the first ring.

"Hey, babe," his drawl echoed through the speakerphone. "It's not looking good. The fuckers must have taken advantage of the storm. Everything has been washed away. How's Bella holding up?"

"Why don't you ask her yourself?" Alice suggested. "She's listening. You're on speaker."

Jasper cursed again. "Thanks for the warning," he grumbled at his wife. "Bella, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to just blurt it out like that. But there's no delicate way to put it. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I mumbled, repeating my new least favourite word. "You did everything you could."

"This is far from over," Emmett pointed out. "Alice said she might be able to get a read on Edward if he manages to get away from them, even just for a few seconds. Or there's always the good old-fashioned news-media… they can't keep hidden forever. Not the way they hunt."

I smiled weakly, though I'm sure it was a pointless endeavor. "What do we do until then?"

The responding silence hung in the air.

It was Carlisle who finally answered. "We wait."

xx

Carlisle thought it best if I continued with my schedule uninterrupted. He argued that going to school would give my mind something to focus on other than Edward. I doubted that logic but I didn't challenge him on it. Anything was better than sitting at home staring at the wall, waiting for news that only seemed to get worse and worse.

So the next morning, at 8:59 sharp, I found myself sitting in my desk in homeroom, staring at the chalkboard.

Alice was in the class with me. Both Jasper and Rosalie were in the school as well, in their respective classrooms down the hall. It had been reasoned that it would seem suspicious if they all bailed at the same time Edward disappeared but I knew they were remaining close to keep an eye on me.

Keeping me from becoming target number two had become priority number one.

I appreciated the concern, but it felt like a wasted effort. Other than a mild case of shock, I was fine. It was Edward who needed their concern.

Emmett and Esme were at home scouring newspapers from across the country, looking for any leads that might indicate James and Victoria had passed through. I didn't want to be ungrateful, but it seemed ridiculous that I had three bodyguards whose considerable abilities could be better used to aid in the search.

"Bella?" Jess nudged me from the seat behind mine.

I purposefully turned to face her on the left side, where Alice was sitting, so I wouldn't have to see Edward's empty desk on my right.

"Where's Edward? You guys are always attached at the hip. Why's he skipping without you?"

Of course Jessica's natural inquisitiveness had her pinpointing the one topic I wanted to avoid more than anything. I sighed, making a pathetic attempt to appear less miserable than I felt.

"He went to visit family. A cousin of his lives in Boston and she was hoping he would come live with her and her husband and go to university there in the fall. They own a small apartment and a room opened up… so he's taking some time to explore the city and consider his options," I recited the speech that we had devised to explain Edward's disappearance, should it become long-term. The story tasted wrong on my tongue. I couldn't help it if I wasn't a very good actress.

I didn't know how we were going to explain it if we couldn't find Edward in the next few weeks. I didn't know what _I_ would do if that turned out to be a reality. I shoved the thought aside before it could fully form. One panic attack was enough.

Jessica frowned, glancing at Alice suspiciously. "Aren't you his cousin, too? How come you didn't go with him?"

Alice smiled sweetly. "On his mother's side. Victoria is his cousin is on his father's side. We don't really know one another. The Brandons and the Masens don't get along so well."

"Oh, yeah," Jessica nodded along, launching into a story about how her aunt's husband didn't get along with her father and how she knew _exactly_ what Alice was talking about. It didn't take long for her voice to meld into the background noise.

The stack of worksheets Mr. Varner assigned gave me an excuse to be anti-social. I buried myself in the numbers and equations, refusing to let my mind wander beyond the digits on the page. I wasn't sure I could keep my emotions in check if I had to interact with my classmates and I wasn't going to cry in the middle of calculus if I could help it.

The minute hand on the clock on the far wall seemed to be weighted. Decades later, Alice nudged my shoe underneath my desk. I glanced up from my worksheet to see the rest of the class shuffling and putting their papers away.

Hastily, I shoved my own pencils and worksheets into my backpack, eager to get out of here and end the day. Only six more periods to go.

"You okay?" Jessica asked me as we filed out of the classroom. "You seemed weird in class today. You were looking at your notebook like it stole your puppy. Is it 'cause Edward is in Boston?"

I nodded. I didn't have the energy to come up with something more complicated. I had hardly slept the night before… my first without Edward in weeks. I was tired and cranky and I really did miss Edward. More than Jessica would be able to comprehend.

"Oh, well… he'll be back before you know it. Maybe this will be good for you guys. If it's this hard to be apart now, you'll know the long-distance thing won't work for you guys in college."

I wanted to punch her. There was nothing good about this situation. Of course, she had no way of knowing that, so I forced a polite smile. "Yeah, I don't think it will."

Jessica ignored my monotone voice, brushing past the topic. "So, anyway… did you hear about what happened to Connor at–"

Irrational irritation flared. Was it really so difficult to take a hint? "Jess, as much as I want to hear about Connor… I actually don't, because I really don't care."

At Jessica's wounded face, Alice pulled on my arm, sparing an apologetic glance at Jessica. "Sorry Jess, but Bella really has to get to class. She already has two tardies from Mr. Mason and you know what a stickler he is for punctuality…"

"Thanks," I muttered, following Alice down the hall. She yanked me into a corner, away from the streams of students scurrying to their next class.

She stared at me intently. "I know this is hard for you, trust me, I do. I can't imagine how difficult it would be for me if it was Jasper." She paused, considering how to continue. "My father suggested you go about your routine as usual because he thought it might help you to have the distraction, but if you hate being here, just say the words. We'll come up with something to get you out. Is that what you want?"

I crossed my arms defensively. To tell the truth, I didn't know what I wanted. I wanted Edward back but it had become abundantly clear that wasn't an immediate possibility.

With Alice's intense eyes burning into me, honesty prevailed. "I don't know… I just want him back," I muttered.

I stared at the floor, embarrassed by my inability to function without Edward. I should be stronger. He was the one in danger. The others shouldn't have to coddle me when their efforts should be focused on him.

"How about this: we get through today and we'll see how you feel tonight?" she offered optimistically. "Maybe it won't even be an issue. Carlisle, Esme and Emmett are doing everything they can to find him."

I shrugged. As much as I wanted to share her hope, my more prevalent cynical side said it wasn't going to happen. "I just want things to be normal again."

Had it really only been two days ago that Edward and I had stood in these very halls, laughing and teasing one another? It seemed like an old, dusty memory now.

Tears stung, for what felt like the millionth time in the last twenty four hours. I blinked them back, loathing how pathetic I felt. I much preferred the numbness.

"I hate seeing you like this." Alice stood on her toes to wrap her arms around me.

I let her hug me, allowing myself to soak up the small comfort. She was just as cold as Edward. She even smelled like him… kind of. Except a little sweeter. It just made me miss him more.

xx

The afternoon passed just as the morning had… in a tedious haze of schoolwork. I was a good student and I enjoyed being at school, but when it was the only alternate to thinking of Edward, it became a chore.

As it turned out, trying not to think about Edward was just as hard as thinking about him. It was amazing how in the few months I had known him, he had managed to incorporate himself into every aspect of my life. There were few things that didn't remind me of his absence.

When Mr. Mason had called on me to read out a passage from _A Midsummer Night's Dream_, I had nearly burst into tears on the spot. Edward preferred Shakespeare's comedies to his tragedies. Last week he had read a passage from the very same play to me, trying to convince me of its superiority. I had persisted with the belief that the tragedies were the true classics. _Macbeth_, _Hamlet_, _Romeo and Juliet_… those were the tales that had thrust Shakespeare's name into immortality. That debate had ended in a stalemate, topped off with a make out session. So really, everyone had won.

It was in thousands of little ways that he permeated my every day life. It was impossible to avoid everything I associated with Edward, because, simply put, it was everything. Little things added up to one hell of a big thing very quickly.

Lunch had offered a shred of hope which was torn away almost immediately thereafter. Jasper had had a flash of genius, recalling James had used a cellphone to call Edward weeks ago.

We had called Emmett to have him dig into the records for any recent activity. His return phone call, minutes later, indicated another dead end. The phone had been inactive since James had last called Edward.

By the time I slid into my seat next to Angela in last period government, I was exhausted.

Her sympathetic face was almost too much to bear after the loaded day I'd had. "Jess told me you've been taking Edward leaving pretty hard. She said you snapped at her."

I made a mental note to apologize tomorrow. As big a gossip as Jessica was, she was harmless and usually a good friend. It wasn't her fault Edward's disappearance had twisted my mood into something foul.

"There's not much I can do about it," I responded blandly.

I didn't need to fill in any blanks; the fake story about Edward visiting Boston had been circulating since lunch. Rumours – true or not – spread like wildfire through the halls. In a school with a small close knit population, such as Forks High, everyone knew everyone's business within the hour. The fact that Edward was the school's newest golden boy only fueled the fire.

Angela scrutinized my dull demeanor. "It seems to go deeper than just you missing him. Do you want to talk about it?"

I glanced up from my textbook, surprised by her astuteness. No one else had bothered to question my feelings on the matter. Everyone had chalked up my crappy mood to missing Edward and left it at that.

"What if he doesn't come back?" The question spilled out of my mouth, before I could consider the potential consequences of continuing the conversation.

"He'll be back." It was a pure and simple statement of fact. "You'd have to be blind not to see how much that boy loves you. He'd be an idiot to give that up. I've gotten to know Edward pretty well over the last few weeks… and he's a fighter. If there's something he believes in, he'll fight for it. He believes his future is with you, Bella. Trust me on this. Things have a way of working themselves out."

It was surprising how pertinent Angela's response was given the significant gap in context. She was right about Edward. He wasn't the kind of person who gave up easily. James and Victoria couldn't keep him pinned down forever. Even if I couldn't believe in my myself, I could believe in him. If I couldn't find him, there was always the possibility he would find his way back to me.

Curling up in my bed that night, I felt more positive than I had since I had woken up and found my bed empty.

Carlisle had offered me a sleeping space in their house amidst their protection, but it felt strange being there without Edward.

We had compromised on a guard detail of sorts. I could sleep in my own home, so long as Emmett and Jasper could lurk in the shadows of the backyard, at the ready, should a need arise.

I didn't think it would come to that. To James and Victoria I would be an added responsibility and a liability. There was no way they would take the risk of getting caught just to take on a worthless human as a prisoner.

Pulling the covers up to my chin, I struggled to keep Angela's words in mind as I fought for sleep for the second night in a row.

xx

_Thanks for reading :)_

_I hope my attempt at angst wasn't totally off the mark. As always, I love hearing what you think._


	36. Resolute

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Thirty-six; Resolute_

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN: **__This is the longest chapter yet. Not sure if that's a good thing? I didn't want to split it up, for reasons that may become clear as you read. One of my friends and I always have this argument about which is better… short but quicker or long but with a bigger delay? I'm curious what others prefer._

_As always reviews and comments are appreciated :)_

xx

Three days after Edward vanished, Thanksgiving quietly rolled through Forks.

The holiday, which I had been looking forward to less than a week ago, suddenly seemed meaningless. I didn't want to eat large quantities of food and pretend to be merry. All I wanted was cuddle up with Edward's pillow in bed and wallow in my despair.

Though it was low on my list of priorities, I pulled up my big girl pants and gathered the necessary supplies from the lone grocery store in Forks.

I had to believe Edward would be back sooner or later. It would do no good to draw attention to the situation and have Charlie questioning why I couldn't endure a couple weeks without my boyfriend. He had yet to broach the subject but it seemed like only a matter of time. My moping hadn't exactly been inconspicuous. Maybe if I was lucky he would write it off as teenage girl hormones.

In a pitiful effort to pretend everything was normal, I mashed the potatoes and roasted the bird and acted as though my life wasn't in shambles.

Okay, maybe I was being a little dramatic, but my boyfriend had been kidnapped by two psychopaths. I didn't know where he was, if he was alive, or if I would ever see him again. I figured I was entitled to a little hyperbole.

I was in the middle of basting the turkey when Charlie pulled me aside to ask if it was okay if he invited Jake and Billy to share in our little celebration. Jake's twin sisters had called to cancel late the previous night and Charlie didn't want them to spend the day alone, eating grilled cheese sandwiches.

I agreed, not wanting to deny him the company. The turkey was large enough to accommodate a few guests and I was less than pleasant to be around in my current state, so I didn't see the harm. Billy could keep Charlie entertained when I slunk off to my room. I tried not to think too much about how Jake would react to the invitation. We had parted on good terms, so I assumed he would at the very least have the courtesy to be pleasant.

It would be a far cry from the raucous gathering I had envisioned at the Cullens' luxurious home but it seemed ridiculous to attempt such a thing without Edward. Not only was I in no mood to celebrate, none of them would touch anything I cooked. Removing loyalty to Edward from the equation, there was no reason why they should have to pretend to endure it either.

I might not have been spending the day with them but their task guard was ever-present.

If you glanced out the window the yard appeared empty but somewhere out there Alice and Jasper were hidden in the shadows. When I had stepped out the backdoor to escape the heat of the kitchen for a few minutes, I'd found them perched precariously on the roof.

A glance at the clock revealed that Jake and Billy would be here any minute. I pulled the turkey from the oven in preparation for their arrival, poking and prodding it with a thermometer until I was satisfied I wasn't going to kill anyone. Covering it with foil so it could rest, I went to find Charlie.

"Dad?" I called, peeking my head into the living room. Predictably, he was engrossed in the pre-game coverage on SportsCenter.

"You want to carve the turkey?" I forced a half-hearted smile, trying to look more excited about it than I felt.

The first dish hadn't even hit the table and already I was counting the seconds until the evening was over.

He shot out of his seat. Charlie never turned down the opportunity to scrape every last morsel off a cooked bird. He was definitely a stereotypical all-American, steak-and-potatoes kind of guy. He had just revved up his precious electric carving knife when the doorbell chimed.

Reluctantly I pulled off my apron and headed for the door. The moment it was open, I was accosted with warm hugs from Jake and Billy. I plastered on a smile, playing the role of good hostess the best I could muster under the circumstances.

"Hi," Jake greeted, his grin just as sincere as I remembered.

"Hi Jake, Billy," I was unable to get out anything further before Jake swung me off the floor.

I swallowed down my relief that he seemed happy to see me. I couldn't stand it if he turned on me now, when my world was already full of disorder.

"You're looking good, Bells," He murmured with a wry smile. Self-conscious, I brushed aside hairs that had fallen from my haphazard ponytail, knowing he was just being nice. I felt like crap and I looked it.

"Smells amazing," Billy said, sniffing the air and patting his stomach as Jake wheeled him inside. "I can't wait to get a bite of that."

I thanked him and ushered them inside the kitchen to exchange hellos with Charlie, who was meticulously carving the turkey.

The three of them took over the conversation from there, none of them noticing that I had retreated, absorbing myself in setting out the remaining dishes.

With an uncharacteristic flourish, Charlie set the platter of turkey down on the table, completing the spread. He helped himself to a chair at the table, the rest of us following his lead. His moustache twitched with a smile. Two things made him happy: good food and sports. Tonight we had both. As wretched as I felt, I was glad that he was enjoying himself.

While Charlie, Billy and Jake heaped their plates with mountainous piles of food and tucked in with fervor, I shoved my much smaller servings around my plate, taking a bite here or there, just so no one could accuse me of not eating.

My appetite was still nonexistent. In the three days since Edward had gone missing, I'd eaten only what had been forced on me by Alice.

Emmett had accused me of going on a hunger strike. In a moment of insightfulness, he theorized that I was subconsciously forcing my body to feel a fraction of the Edward's pain. I couldn't help it if I didn't feel the will to eat. My stomach was filled with constant anxiety. There was room for nothing else.

The minute it was polite to do so, I excused myself from the table. Jake and Billy, long since familiar with the layout of Charlie's tiny kitchen, offered to clean up. I gratefully accepted the offer and shot up the stairs to my room, locking the door behind me.

Throwing myself on my bed, I clutched a pillow that still smelled faintly of Edward and allowed myself the luxury of inhaling deeply. I worried it might be the last piece of him I would ever have.

I had filched all of the bedding from his bedroom at the Cullens' to make an Edward-scented cocoon for myself. That had resulted an embarrassing confrontation with Esme, though she had been kind enough to act as though it was perfectly normal. Neither Rosalie or Alice – my bodyguards for the day – had said anything as I carted my loot home, either. I think they understood, for which I was grateful.

The pillow was a poor substitute for Edward but it was the best I had. It was much too soft and it didn't make me feel safe like he did. That was probably for the best. If I allowed myself to think, even for a moment, that he was here with me, my carefully constructed dams would break.

A tentative knock I recognized as Jake's echoed through the room. A part of me wanted to ignore it and pretend that I hadn't heard. Chances to be alone with my self-pitying thoughts were infrequent. Another larger part was curious what Jake could possibly have to say to me.

Wrapping myself in Edward's duvet as though it could protect me from the coming conversation, I stumbled over to open the door.

Jake's solemn face loomed in the darkened hallway. He stood just beyond the threshold, looking like he'd much rather be anywhere else. I didn't blame him. I wouldn't want to talk to me either.

I waved him inside, gesturing for him to sit at my desk chair.

He shot me a disgusted look, his nose wrinkling as he ambled into the room. "It smells like a vampire barfed in here."

Shrugging, I flopped onto my bed. I was in no mood to deal with that particular rivalry tonight. If he was here to complain about Edward, he could leave.

"What did you want, Jake?"

He held up a piece of pie I hadn't noticed he was holding. "You skipped out on dessert, so I thought maybe you'd like a piece…" he trailed off uncertainly, still holding the proffered pie.

I shook my head. He shrugged as if to say "suit yourself," and shoved the entire slice of pie into his mouth in three gigantic forkfuls.

"I'm kind of tired. So if that was all, you can leave." I had intended to sound like I was offering him an out but it sounded more like a demand.

Jake seemed surprised by my abruptness. "Okay, something's wrong," he observed, still brushing pieces of pie crust from his shirt. "I was pretty sure at dinner… but Charlie was acting like there was nothing wrong so I thought I was misreading the signals… So?"

"So?" I repeated, aware I was being unnecessarily obtuse. I was prolonging the eminent question by seconds, if that.

"So what's wrong?"

"They took… him," I mumbled, unable to force my lips into the shape of Edward's name. After a moment of consideration, I realized I hadn't spoken it aloud since the morning after he had disappeared. I wasn't in any rush to hurdle that obstacle. It was hard enough thinking it.

"Took who?"

I glowered at Jake, suddenly full of inexplicable contempt. "Take a wild guess," I snapped.

"Edward?"

"Yes."

"Okay, please don't hurt me, but I'm going to ask another question." He didn't wait for my response, which was probably just as well for him. "Who are we talking about here? The 'they' that took him?"

"James and Victoria," I muttered, burying my face in my bed and willing the conversation to be over already. "Best known to you as 'Psycho one' and 'Psycho two.'"

Jake regarded me soberly. "Shit, that really sucks. Edward was a pretty good guy… for a vampire, I mean. He didn't deserve that."

"Stop talking in past tense," I groused, my voice rising to a squeaky pitch. I had enough of my own morbid thoughts to grapple with; I didn't need Jake's piled on top.

"I didn't mean it like that, Bells. I was just–"

"I know," I cut him off before he could fumble his way through an apology. "I don't want to talk about it."

Jake shifted uncomfortably on the edge of his seat. "Um, is there anything I can do to help? I'll be the first to admit that he and I were not the best of friends but he's important to you…" He trailed off, his apprehension over my reaction obvious.

I didn't want to turn down help but I couldn't see a way the wolves could assist without escalating the rivalry between them and the vampires. They would have to work together and past experiences had made it clear that was not an option.

I settled on a safe answer that wouldn't bruise his feelings. "I'll let you know if something comes up." At his disbelieving look I added, "Really."

To my great relief, he let the subject drop. His somber disposition vanished as quickly as it had come, a painfully transparent mask appearing in its place.

Bringing up everything from the garage he was working at part time to movies he knew I liked, he attempted to lure me into conversation. It was a pointless endeavor. Now that my obligatory duties as Thanksgiving hostess were completed, I was done with being social.

After several minutes of receiving unenthusiastic, one-syllable responses, he gave up, retreating downstairs to watch the game with our fathers. I tried to feel bad that I'd essentially ignored him, but I was full up on feeling crappy already. Guilt for what I'd done to Jake didn't even register a blip.

The second the door clicked behind him, my window shot open and Alice slithered through it. Shutting it savagely, she turned to me, her expression an perplexing blend of concern and fury.

"Thank god," she muttered, slipping on to the edge of my bed. She calmed visibly as she took in the sight of me burrowed in my Edward-cocoon. "That damn mutt is like a black hole. I can't see anything when he's around. It's too much like Victoria. It freaks me out."

"I'm fine," I told my pillow grumpily.

The constant stream of people wanting to talk to me was wearing on my few remaining nerves. Was it so horrible to want to wallow in self-pity alone?

"I know. I could hear you guys talking from outside. It's just unnerving for me. Imagine if someone cut off one of your senses. Even though you'd still have the rest of them, it wouldn't feel right. It's kind of like that. I–" She stopped abruptly as if hit with an epiphany. "You want to be alone."

I shrugged, not wanting to offend her. I'd already alienated Jake.

She smiled wanly. "It's okay, I understand." She brushed a few hairs from my face with a tender hand, like a mother might do to a child. "Sleep. You'll get a few hours tonight."

When I blinked, she was gone.

xx

The weeks following Thanksgiving passed with agonizing slowness. Each additional day that passed seemed to have a few hours tacked onto it that weren't there the day before.

As the span of time between Edward's kidnapping and the present grew, time itself seemed to take on a surreal quality. It didn't register in hours or days or weeks. It was just a continuous blur, passing without change or awareness. The only thing that made me get out of bed each day was the hope that it would be the one we'd find Edward.

One morning, I awoke to find snow dusting the ground. I had to check my calendar to verify that we were in fact more than halfway through December. Winter, mild though it was in the Pacific Northwest, had arrived.

Christmas was only a week away and we were no closer to finding Edward than we had been a month ago.

All leads were cold and dead. Victoria's protection had remained remarkably stable. Not once in the 32 days since Edward had gone missing had Alice caught so much as a glimpse of his future. The one time hope that Victoria would falter was dwindling.

Even Alice and Emmett, two of the most optimistic people I'd ever met, seemed to be losing their spark. I was pretty sure mine had been extinguished weeks ago.

Their determination to find him remained steady, however. I didn't voice my thoughts but I was beginning to doubt it was possible. James and Victoria didn't want to be found and they were doing everything in their power to stay that way.

Pulling my eyes away from the snow brushing against the window pane, I gathered my books for school. Hauling my backpack over my shoulder, I lumbered down the stairs, preparing myself for another monotonous day – the second last before winter break.

As insurmountable as everyday life had felt at first, I had managed to keep up with the semblance that I was living my life. I kept myself alive and adhered to the well-worn routine I had been settling into since my first day of first grade. I wasn't sure whether I was looking forward to the break in routine or dreading it.

Wandering into the kitchen, I found Charlie leaning against the counter blocking the toaster. The toaster I had used every day of the last four weeks to make myself the most simple breakfast possible. He was already dressed in his police uniform, fidgeting and jingling his keys. He stood a little straighter when he caught sight of me.

"What happened to that boy, Edward?" he asked bluntly, wasting no time before beginning the interrogation. "Did you break up?"

I might have appreciated his directness if he wasn't bringing up the one topic I wanted to avoid more than anything.

"We didn't break up, Dad. He's just gone to Boston for a while. He'll be back after Christmas," I lied, repeating the same tired story that was already being stretched thin as it was. If we didn't find Edward soon, he was going to have to fictitiously move to Boston.

"You've been walking around like a ghost since Thanksgiving. You're telling me that it's all because your boyfriend went on vacation for a few weeks?"

The incredulous look he shot me almost withered my resolve to continue with the lie.

I shrugged pitifully, playing up the role of woe-be-gone teenager. If there was anything Charlie didn't understand, it was the teenage mindset. If you were to believe my mother, he'd been born with a moustache and the mentality of a middle-aged man.

"Four weeks is a long time."

"What about that thing you kids spend all your time doing on your phones? Typing? Why don't you send him some types?"

"Texts," I corrected softly, shifting my backpack on my shoulder. "It's not the same. He's not here."

"Right. Some texts." He shifted uncomfortably, staring at the keys he was tossing from hand to hand as if they were the most fascinating thing he'd ever laid eyes on. When he spoke again his voice was choked with an emotion I couldn't quite decipher. "You've had me worried, kiddo. You've always been a lot like me. Not much gets to you. To see you like this–"

Rosalie's car-horn blared from outside.

"I've got to go, Dad," I explained, edging toward towards the door. "They're waiting for me."

With a quick kiss to my forehead – something he hadn't done since I was a little kid – he nodded toward the door. "Go on, then."

Rosalie glanced at me in the rearview mirror as I settled into the backseat of her BMW. A perfectly groomed eyebrow arched knowingly. "Looks like the chief is on high alert. Better step up your game."

Rosalie, for all her gruff, hard-shell exterior, had taken Edward's abduction quite hard. The aloof attitude was the same one she put on when she was around Emmett to conceal her feelings for him.

Though she wasn't in love with Edward, she had grown to accept that he would be an enduring part of her life. To have that thrown into jeopardy had unnerved her. If there was one thing vampires didn't question, it was the mortality of their kind.

"She's doing fine," Jasper countered from the front seat. "Charlie wasn't feeling anything a million parents before him haven't. He's just worried about his kid. Rightfully so, might I add. It's human nature for him to want to fix the problem."

"I wish he could," I muttered. "It would make things a lot easier."

"Actually," Alice offered brightly, "we think we might have a lead in Indiana. Finally. Emmett found an article about a couple suspicious murders in the state. We think they might be linked to vampires. The victims were tortured and dismembered which fits with James and Victoria's M.O."

"We think they might be going somewhere familiar to them," Jasper added. "Somewhere where they know they can conceal Edward. Esme's looking through any property deeds and hotel records she can get her hands on. If we can find something to indicate they might have lived in the region in the past, we might be able to narrow our search to a city or specific region."

Something prickled just under my skin. It felt like justification after the long weeks without anything to go on. Even if it turned out to be nothing, the mere suggestion that it was possible to track James and Victoria felt like progress.

As much as I wanted to let hope soar, I kept it carefully tethered to reality, reminding myself this was not yet a lead so much as wishful thinking.

"If you find something, can I come?" I pleaded. "I need to be there when you find him."

"We're talking about dealing with two rogue vampires, Bella," Rosalie said patronizingly, as if I wasn't aware of the situation. "The danger to you would be astronomical. They could snuff you out in a heartbeat."

Alice glared at the back of her sister's head. "What Rosalie is trying to say is that the chance of seeing Edward a few hours sooner is not worth the risk of you getting hurt."

Rosalie snorted indelicately. "How is that different than what I said?"

"For one thing, I was a little more delicate," Alice snapped at her sister.

"Of course. Because what we need in this situation is to be delicate."

They wouldn't budge. No matter how much I whined or pleaded, they held firm in their belief that, as a human, I would be a danger not only to myself, but the others who would have to protect me. My suggestion that I stay in a hotel room nearby was turned down flat. They didn't even pretend to consider it.

They were probably right, but that didn't stop my irritation from spiking. Maybe I wasn't a vampire but I still had feelings.

"What if one of you changed me?"

It was worth asking, just to see their jaws drop.

"Bella, you cannot be serious," Alice groaned. "This is your life we're talking about. You would give that up for a few hours? Which, by the way, are hypothetical at this point. We aren't even sure we've found the right place."

"No," I muttered, petulant. "But at least it made you listen to me."

I had never really put much thought into becoming a vampire. I'd considered it in passing… as something worth considering in a few years, but there had never been a reason to rush. I had always pictured Edward being the one to change me when the time came. I wasn't willing to sacrifice that, yet.

So no, I didn't want to be a vampire… not now, anyway. But I was determined to convince them to take me anywhere they thought they might find Edward, vampire or not.

I couldn't stand the thought of not being the first one there to comfort him in the aftermath. He would need me, right? I was his mate and that was what proper partners did… they supported one another. The thought of leaving him to cope alone was indefensible.

"We're listening, Bella. It's just not a good idea. There are so many things that could go wrong. I can't even see possible outcomes to choose the best one because they all involve Victoria."

"Fine."

I let the subject drop temporarily. The conversation was far from over.

xx

Crawling into bed that night, I steeled myself for the hollow feelings that descended every evening. It was amazing just how lonely the nights could be. Darkness seemed to amplify everything. I didn't have a bed that could be expected to hold two grown people, yet it felt empty with only me in it.

I had just stuffed my lip balm into my night table and was about to reach for the lamp when I spotted a flash of brass.

Edward's key.

It was like the stars aligned in that split second my eye caught the flash of metal.

The key to his house in Illinois. A mere state away from Indiana. The state where the Cullens suspected James and Victoria might be hunting.

I couldn't explain exactly why but I knew with absolute certainty that was where I would find him.

The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. James and Victoria might have had a special place reserved for them in the underworld but they were far from stupid. Hunting a significant distance away from where they were hidden was the perfect way to evade anyone who might be looking for them.

Then there was the fact that they knew the layout of Chicago. It was the city in which they had claimed Edward for their own a century ago. Edward had mentioned he had returned once or twice over the decades and presumably James and Victoria had been with him. So they'd lived there multiple times and knew the city well.

And finally there was the unexpectedness of it. Who would suspect Edward's captors to bring him to his own home and hold him captive there? It was like that old adage about the old man searching all over his house for his glasses, only to find them perched on top of his head. Hiding in plain sight was quite brilliant, really.

The smart thing to do would have been to tell Alice and the others what I suspected.

It would have been so easy to just hand her the key and let her take the lead. But then her vehement negative reaction this morning when I had asked to be included snuck into my head. That one little thought was enough to overtake my better judgment.

The key could be the leverage I needed.

Or maybe I didn't need to leverage it all. Maybe I could just set off to Chicago on my own. Sure, the Cullens would follow me as soon as they caught on, but I was confident they wouldn't send me home if I was already in the city. I would need their help dealing with James and Victoria, anyway. The important thing was that I would be close by when it happened.

The obvious flaw to this plan was my self-decreed security detail. The only time I wasn't within gazing distance of a vampire was at school, in the two classes that didn't include at least one of the three Cullen siblings.

They were faster than me. They were stronger than me. Hell, they could even see what I was thinking before it was executed thanks to Alice. How could I possibly expect to get a large enough head start to get twenty feet away, let alone travel halfway across the country?

In a moment of sullenness, I wished that Alice didn't exist. Or at least that her ability didn't. Even a temporary off switch would have been acceptable.

And then inspiration dawned like a flash of lightning.

Jake.

Jake was Alice's kryptonite.

I stared blankly at the fluorescent numbers on my clock, unable to force my mind to shut down. It was too full with thoughts and worries about what I was planning to do. I'd made my decision and Alice hadn't come roaring through my window, furious. I took that as a sign.

Though I felt marginally more confident that I could get to Chicago without the Cullens stopping me with Jake's help, there were still so many little obstacles that could derail the operation further down the line. I wanted to have every base covered. I spent the pre-dawn hours contemplating hundreds of scenarios, taking into consideration any and everything that could possibly go wrong. There would be no second chances. I had to get it right the first time.

By seven, I was pretty sure I'd covered every possible "what if," from the likely to the impossible.

Bleary-eyed and achy all over, I dragged myself from the warmth of my bed and into the shower. The hot water relaxed my tired, sleep-deprived muscles but the ache returned by the time I trekked downstairs to grab a bagel. Now joining it was a nervous twist in my stomach.

Rosalie's car would pull up any second. Alice and Jasper would vacate their backyard post and we'd all head to school. I would have to pretend like it was any other day. I wasn't sure my acting abilities were up to the task.

To make matters worse, the heavy brass key I'd tucked into the front pocket of my jeans seemed to weigh a ton.

Certain it had to be visible, I glanced at myself in the narrow mirror in the foyer. Twisting and turning, I inspected the area from multiple angles, searching for a telling bulge or any other anomaly. It just looked like a pocket. Annoyed with myself and my inability to play it cool, I frowned meanly at my reflection.

Palms sweaty, I hiked my backpack over my shoulder and grabbed the toasted bagel I'd left on the counter. I wasn't particularly hungry – nervousness had a way of quenching my appetite – but it had practical application. If they asked me something I wasn't prepared to answer, I would take a huge bite and give myself a few seconds to come up with a suitable answer.

In the end it, it sat untouched the entire car ride.

All three vampires greeted me with the same half-smiles they had every morning since Edward had gone missing.

Rosalie turned in her plush leather seat to give me an appraising once-over.

"You look like crap," she said bluntly. I didn't dispute it. It was a fact, after all. After weeks of everyone walking on eggshells around me, her honesty it was a welcome change. "Your face is all red and puffy and you look like you haven't slept in a decade or two."

I shrugged sedately. "Crying does that."

Her expression softened. "I know it's been a difficult month for you but we're getting close. We really are. Emmett found another report of a similar attack in northern Michigan last night. And Esme and I have located a house just outside Detroit that might have belonged to Victoria in the seventies."

My stomach knotted, recognizing my deception by omission.

A part of me desperately wanted to tell them that they were looking in the wrong direction. That I was positive Edward wasn't in Detroit. Or Michigan or Indiana for that matter. Reminding myself that they didn't want me involved strengthened my resolve to keep quiet and stick to my plan.

"You have?" In my head my hopeful tone sounded phony but Rosalie seemed willing to accept it at face value.

I was certain the hammering rhythm of my heart would prove me a liar but no one commented. Not even Jasper, who must have been fully aware of my mounting anxiety. I supposed he must have become accustomed to the constant ups and downs in my moods in the past weeks. I couldn't be an easy person for an empath to be around.

"I've booked our flights into Detroit for this afternoon," Alice explained. "We're hoping to avoid drawing any unusual attention in town. Since tonight is the beginning of winter break, we'll have a couple weeks to locate them and take care of business."

"Our flights?"

Was there a chance they had changed their minds? A small, genuine hope surged. I didn't want to have to do this on my own. If there was a chance they would be willing to let me come with them, I wouldn't hesitate to tell them what I had discovered.

Alice shot me a withering look. Any lingering hope deflated.

"Bella, we talked about this. It's not safe for a human. We might end up having to chase them across the continent. We'll find him quicker if we don't have to worry about protecting you at the same time. Carlisle and Esme will stay here with you."

"It's not just a coincidence they're staying in close proximity to the great lakes," Jasper theorized. "Remember how they escaped last time? It seems likely that they plan to use one of the lakes as an escape route, should we begin to close in on them. It would be impossible for us to follow if you were with us."

I nodded along agreeably, knowing that arguing would be a waste of my time and effort. I wasn't sure I had the energy to waste, anyway.

"Okay," I whispered, my heart pounding ferociously in my throat. "I don't want to ruin your chances of finding him."

Alice scooted across the plush leather bench to hug me tightly. "We're going to bring him back, Bella. I can feel it. I can't see it, exactly, but it's like something is telling me we're heading in the right direction. It's like positive energy almost. It's difficult to explain but I'm sure about this."

She didn't need to explain. I already understood perfectly. That was exactly how I knew Edward was in Chicago. I might not have had any justifiable reason for my belief but I knew without a doubt that it was the right one.

That belief was what kept my sleep-deprived body going through the first two periods. I shifted and fidgeted in my seat for the duration of both, certain that Alice, who was in both classes with me, was going to call me out on my antsy behaviour. She never did.

By third period gym, my first class of the day without any of the Cullens, I was a nervous wreck. It was now or never and I knew it. I had five minutes to definitively make up my mind. Either I was going to try to make a break for it and go to Chicago or I wasn't. Whatever it was, I had to make a decision.

Waving off Alice, who had insisted on accompanying me to the doors of the gymnasium, I slipped into the change rooms. My heart pumped out a frantic rhythm as adrenaline kicked in.

Sequestering myself in one of the stalls, I pulled out my phone. Fingers shaking and clammy, I hastily tapped out a message to Jake, praying with everything I had that he had been genuine in his offer to help find Edward.

_Hi Jake. I've got a favour to ask. Meet me in the FHS parking lot ASAP. Please. It's important. – Bella_

The moment I pressed send, there would be no turning back. My finger hovered over the key for a split second before jabbing the button. Edward would need me there. I was not going to chicken out on him because I was afraid of getting caught.

Several seconds passed as I waited for Alice to burst into the room and demand I hand over my phone. Then minutes. The moment never came. Relief flooded me. I had been right. Alice couldn't see the decisions I made that involved Jake.

This was it.

I was counting on Jake's friendship. If he had meant what he said on Thanksgiving, this would work. If he decided that our friendship had run its course and I wasn't worth his time, it was over.

I tried to pretend like it didn't matter what he said, that I would respect his decision either way, but I knew that wasn't true. If he bailed on me, I would never forgive him for it.

Setting my phone down on the bench so I could see it easily, I shed my regular clothes, replacing them with the sweatpants and t-shirt that made up the gym uniform. They weren't ideal clothes for going on the run, but I didn't have much choice. If I decided to sit out on gym class, I would draw attention to myself. I didn't want the Cullens hearing anything out of the ordinary that might cause them to come investigate. There might be several concrete walls and dozens of feet of space between us, but that didn't mean they couldn't hear what was going on.

By the time I'd finished changing, the rest of the change room was empty. Sparing a last glance at the still dark face of my phone, I stuffed it into my pocket and shuffled out to join the rest of the class.

Coach Clapp led us in laps. He was in a good mood today. His paunchy face was split with a wide grin. I didn't blame him. Everyone was more cheerful than usual. It was the last day before Christmas break. I was the only exception.

By my third and final lap around the gym, Jake still hadn't responded. I glanced at clock. It had been almost ten minutes now. If he didn't respond soon, it would be too late. By the time he actually got here, class would be over.

Just as that thought crossed my mind, my phone shivered in my pocket. I yanked it out so quickly it went skidding across the floor. Cursing my clumsy, sweaty hands, I lunged for it, praying to anything and everything holy that it wasn't broken.

It wasn't. Ignoring the strange looks from Jessica and Mike, who were leaning against the wall next to me, doing stretches as Coach requested, I clicked into the waiting message.

_I'm here._

I had never been so happy to see two words in my life.

My affection for Jake swelled. I regretted ever thinking that he might turn his back on me. I knew him better than that. Above all he was a good friend.

Okay, maybe it would have been nice if he'd let me know he was on his way so I didn't work myself into a panicked frenzy but he'd gotten here in just over ten minutes. The drive from the school on the rez to Forks' was a minimum of twenty minutes, if you obeyed traffic laws. He must have dropped everything and sped the entire the way. All because I'd said I needed him here.

As coolly as possible under the circumstances, I sidled up to Coach Clapp and requested a hall pass, purposefully mentioning I had to go to the bathroom in case I had any vampire eavesdroppers. He handed it to me without question or comment. Being a good, trustworthy student did have some perks.

I walked out into the hallway praying none of the Cullens would be waiting to escort me the hundred feet to the bathroom. Considering that they were quite certain that James and Victoria were holding Edward captive in Michigan, that particular security measure would have been ridiculous.

It seemed they agreed. The hallway was empty.

Calmly, I crossed the short distance between me and the door to the girl's bathroom. Only once it was several paces behind me did I allow myself to break into a sprint. I paid no attention to the strange looks from the two students I brushed past on my way to the front exit. Let them think what they wanted.

I smashed open the double doors, scanning the lot for Jake. I didn't have to look far. He was sitting on his motorcycle a few yards away. I flung the hall pass onto the pavement and dashed towards him.

Jake eyed the engraved slab of wood as it hit the ground, bewilderment brushing his features.

"Take me to the reservation!" I demanded, slinging myself up onto the bike behind him. "Now! I need to get away from the Cullens."

"Bella? What the fuck is going on?" He looked at me like I was insane. I was getting tired of that look being directed at me, justified or not.

"I'll explain on the way! Just go! We don't have very much time before they catch on. If any."

I glanced back at the entrance to the school anxiously, expecting to see three angry figures stalking towards me prepared to pull me from the bike. The heavy red doors were shut, just as I'd left them seconds ago.

"Fine." His tone made it clear he wasn't happy with my response but was willing to wait in order to appease me.

"Here." He plunked a much too large helmet on my head and shrugged out of a worn leather jacket, gesturing for me to put it on. I did so with fumbling hands, my gaze still glued to the front of the school.

A breath I hadn't known I was holding escaped as I felt the roar of the motorcycle beneath us, still with no sign of any of the Cullens. My adrenaline, which was already pumping, kicked up a notch further. I'd never ridden a motorcycle in my life, though I'd seen Jake on them often enough. Charlie had bought me a pink-tassled, two-wheeled bicycle when I was ten. How much different could it be?

Very different as it turned out. It was a lot more like clinging to Edward as he sped through the forest, ducking branches at breakneck speed than riding a bicycle. I clung to Jake, half-terrified I was going to fly off the machine and splatter onto the road. With Edward, there had always been a deep-seated trust. I knew he wouldn't allow me to get hurt. He had reflexes even the most skilled human could only dream of. Jake, on the other hand, was nearly as human as me. If I fell off, I was as good as dead.

As a result, my promise to explain to Jake "on the way" turned out to be impossible to fulfill. Even if I'd had the wits to do anything more than cling on to him for dear life, the air whipping past us as we sped down the highway made it impossible to hear much of anything. Even if I'd screamed at the top of my lungs, all my words would have been lost to the wind.

Only once we were safely ensconced a good distance behind the treaty line did Jake halt the bike. All in all the ride had taken only a handful or minutes, though it had felt like a lifetime. Occasionally I'd been brave enough to pry my eyes open and glance over my shoulder at the asphalt that appeared to be slipping out from under us at an alarming rate. Never once did I catch sight of my pursuers.

I didn't doubt that they knew I was gone by now. They'd probably known what was happening the moment they first heard me speaking to Jake. But playing human had its restrictions as well as its benefits. They were prisoner to the act and some teachers were awfully stingy with hall passes. Coordinating who was supposed to do what from different classrooms had no doubt added another layer of complication. Or so I hoped.

Jake kicked down the stand on his bike and hopped off it lithely, leaving me to cling to the back portion of the seat.

He crossed his arms and straightened his spine to take advantage of his full, admittedly intimidating height. As I was sitting, he towered several feet over me.

"You gonna tell me what's going on now?"

I shrugged. I knew I owed him a hell of a lot more than that after what he had just done for me, but when he glared at me with that look that was a cross between smug and condescending, the urge to spill everything vanished.

"Bells, I want to help you out here, but you're going to have to give me something. What the hell is going on? Did _they_ do something to you?" The hate in his voice was unmistakable.

"No," I muttered. Though I was upset with the Cullens for their refusal to see things my way, I didn't want to incite a bigger species divide than already existed by implying they had abused me in some way.

"Then _what_?" Jake crouched down in front of me, forcing my eyes to meet his. I jerked my head away but he followed patiently. We did this three times before I gave up, allowing him to catch my eye. His were softer now, earnest. My resolve started to crumble. At the very least he deserved some answers.

I could have told him the truth but I didn't. There was no point in dragging him into this any more than he already had been. If he didn't know, the Cullens couldn't blame him for his part in my escape.

"They're trying to protect me," I explained curtly. "They only trying to help. But I'm sick of being treated like a prisoner. I just want to get away for a bit. I want to go visit my mom for Christmas break. I knew they wouldn't let me if I asked. They're worried James and Victoria will take me too."

"Don't lie."

"What? I'm not lying!" I insisted, surprised by my own vehemence. He was right, after all. "It's true. They follow me everywhere! I just want a little vacation! Is that so horrible?" My pitch rose steadily as the lies continued to fill the air.

Jake rolled his eyes and stood, kicking at a wayward pebble laying on the side of the road, his exasperation with me obvious.

"Are we really going to play this game? Look, I know you, Bella, and you're lying. Have a little respect please? I just ditched class to come get you because you asked me to. At least tell me why."

When I remained silent he added, "It's about Edward, isn't it?"

I flinched. I hadn't been expecting him to guess so easily. He took in my distressed reaction with a self-satisfied smirk. There was no way my charade was going to fly now.

"I know where he is," I admitted carefully.

"And?"

"And the Cullens won't let me come with them to go get him. They think it's too dangerous for my 'delicate human sensibilities,'" I spat out bitterly. "If they won't take me, I'm going by myself. So I need you to drop me off at the airport." I gestured to the vacated bike seat in front of me impatiently. "If you don't mind, it would probably be a good idea if we got going. We've already ruined our head start. You're going to have to take a back road out of here."

Jake didn't budge. "Let me get this straight? The Cullens told you it was too dangerous for you to come with them to rescue Edward, so you decided a better idea would be to do it all by yourself? You're either crazy or… no, you're just crazy. Don't you value your life at all? We're talking about two established killers, here, Bells."

"I have to be there. Edward needs me," I explained, desperate to make him understand how important it was that I be there for Edward. It might have sounded like a flimsy reason but I knew Edward would have done the same for me.

"Bella–"

"No! Don't 'Bella' me!" I interrupted, smashing a fist into the padded seat in front of me. I relished the sting blossoming in my hand, pushing the anger into my rant. "I'm sick of everyone thinking they know what's best for me! I know what I need. And I need to be there for Edward. So please, if you've ever cared about me at all, take me to the damn airport! Now!"

"Alright, alright. The airport it is." Jake swung himself up in front of me easily, radiating amusement.

I smothered my irritation at his flippant attitude. He _had_ agreed to take me to the airport, so I could forgive him the indiscretion.

If I had thought it was horrible clinging to Jake as he drove over the smooth surface that made up the main road into the Quileute reservation, it had nothing on the horrors of riding on the back roads. I was hard pressed to call the "back roads" roads at all. They were better described as oversized hiking trails. They were muddy and uneven and chockfull of roots and stones which jolted us up and down like some sort of terrifying carnival ride.

"It's looking good!" Jake yelled to me over his shoulder, after we'd been bouncing down the dirt path for several minutes. "We're almost at the boundary and I can't smell any of them. Looks like they haven't searched the perimeter of the rez yet. 'Course they might just be assuming you're planning on hiding out on the rez and blockaded the main road."

I didn't respond, not having the energy to yell over the roar of the engine. I tightened my arms around Jake's waist and closed my eyes, fighting against my growing nausea. The bagel I'd eaten for breakfast sloshed around angrily.

I hoped he was right. The only thing preventing the Cullens from catching up to us and dragging me back home was that they didn't know exactly where we were or what I was planning at this moment in time. The longer it took for them to locate my scent buried beneath Jake's, the longer it would take for them to find us. If they assumed I was holed up on the reservation, even better.

Another few miles down the path, it merged into a more traditional road. I had never been more pleased to see asphalt. Unfortunately, with the improved road conditions, Jake was able to push his bike a couple dozen miles per hour faster.

"Hold on!" He exclaimed gleefully as he hit the accelerator.

For a split second he reminded me of Edward and his love of all things fast. I swallowed hard, allowing the memories to wash over me for a few moments before stomping them back into the recesses of my mind. I would not fall apart now. I was on a mission to get to Edward. We would have a chance to make more memories. I just had to get on a plane to Chicago.

Occasionally I'd glance at the road behind us, expecting to see the cherry red of Rosalie's BMW or Emmett's all-terrain Jeep or even the sleek black of Carlisle's Mercedes on our tail but they never appeared. It seemed Jake had been right about the Cullens assuming I was hiding on the reservation. If they'd figured out that we were on the road they would have caught up by now.

Nearly two hours after we first hit the road, the outskirts of Seattle slid into view. Jake's loose interpretation of traffic regulations had allowed us to shave more than an hour off the typical travel time into the city.

We whipped past neighbourhood upon neighbourhood of row housing, our destination just within grasp. When the highway billboards started boasting "airport ahead" next to that little white airplane symbol, I started to think we were going to make it unscathed.

My butt was killing me from bouncing on the hard leather. My hands were frozen thanks to the icy winds. And I was so tired I could hardly think straight. Despite those miseries, I was thrilled. Against all odds, my plan had gone off without a hitch.

Ten minutes later, Jake screeched into the park and fly. Haphazardly skidding into a parking spot, he cut the engine. Without sparing a moment, he leaped off the bike as though spending the last two hours in a cramped sitting position hadn't affected him negatively in the least.

Glancing around us at the planes taking off overhead was surreal. A part of me had never actually expected to make it this far.

Grasping Jake's offered hand, I hauled my aching leg over the seat and slid to the ground. My knees promptly buckled beneath me. After more than two hours of clinging to the bike, my legs were about the consistency of water.

Jake hauled me back up. This time I stood, albeit on wobbly legs.

"Okay Bambi," he teased, clasping me around the waist so I didn't topple over again. "We're here. What's the plan?"

"Get a ticket to Chicago," I explained, nodding toward the airport signage for domestic flights. "Edward is in Chicago." Shrugging off his arm now that I felt more steady on my feet, I made a beeline for the domestic flights gate.

Jake trailed behind me, tripping over his feet to keep up with me, despite his much longer legs.

"Jeez," he complained. "You sure got use of your legs back quick. What, is your ass on fire? Wait up."

"If you can't keep up, you're welcome to go home," I offered breezily. "I need to catch the next flight. I'm not going to miss one because I was waiting for you."

It didn't take us long to locate a ticket counter. It seemed fate was on our side once more. The line was nonexistent, despite the winding ropes set up to guide waiting crowds. There was only one middle-aged woman with a child in front of us.

Even though it was only one person, the delay was long enough to make me glance over my shoulder. Would those few wasted minutes be the ones that got us caught?

Jake patted my shoulder. "We're good, Bells," he reassured, knowing exactly the direction my thoughts had taken. "I might not be a vamp, but I've got pretty damn good hearing. They're not anywhere I can hear them."

I didn't say anything. I was too focused on the woman in front of us, who had just been handed a boarding pass.

"One ticket on the next flight to Chicago," I demanded, rushing up to the counter the second the woman in front of us returned her credit card to her wallet. The girl behind the counter shot me an exasperated look but started typing something into the computer in front of her.

"Two tickets," Jake corrected from behind me.

I whipped around to face him. "What do you think you're doing?" I snapped, angry that he was including himself in my plans without asking for permission.

I had not planned on Jake coming with me beyond this point. I had assumed he would be all too eager to return to the safe haven of the reservation. Who in their right mind would want to trek halfway across the country, only to put their life in peril? At least I had Edward as an excuse. What could Jake possibly hope to gain?

Besides, this particular leg of my plan had hinged on Jake leaving. Once he left, Alice would be able to see my decisions again. They would know I was in Chicago.

I had counted on them being in the city by the time I landed or at least shortly thereafter. That way I wouldn't be forced to face James and Victoria alone. If Jake came with me and the Cullens truly hadn't figured out where I was, they would have no way of doing so unless I told them myself. There was no way in hell I was facing their wrath a moment sooner than necessary.

"Coming with you, obviously," Jake stated as calm and cool as a cucumber. He had absolutely no idea what chaos he was inflicting. Anger burned in my chest, bright and hot thanks to all the adrenaline still coursing through my blood.

"I don't need you to come with me," I insisted fiercely. "I'm fine on my own. You promised to bring me to the airport. You've fulfilled your duty. I can handle it from here on out. Go home, Jake."

I turned my back on him. As far as I was concerned, the conversation was over.

He growled and pushed at my shoulder so I was forced to face him. "Bella, if you think I'm going to let you do this on your own, you're fucking out of your mind."

I glowered at him ferociously, my temper getting the best of me. "Well, I guess I'm fucking out of my mind then. I don't _need_ you to come and I don't _want_ you to come. GO HOME."

Jake's expression set into a stubborn line. "No."

The girl behind the counter's looked between us uncertainly, her fingers posed over her keyboard. "Um… so will that be one ticket or two?"

She ducked her head back down timidly as Jake and I both whirled to face her, pressing ourselves up against the counter.

"One," I answered at the same time Jake said, "Two."

Jake shoved me aside, shooting the girl a flirtatious grin. I tried to plant my feet but I was no match for his strength. He swept me aside like I was a rag doll and sat me down behind him.

"Hi, Joan," he said, his eyes flicking to the girl's nametag. The girl flushed, probably unaccustomed to being addressed by name. "We're kind of in a rush, so we're gonna need those tickets ASAP. That's two tickets. To Chicago."

"One!"

He shot the girl a broad, apologetic smile, holding out his arm so I couldn't step up to the counter to talk to her. "Don't listen to her. My sister is just upset that I told Mom her boyfriend was like a hundred years older than her," he smirked over his shoulder at me, finding that hilarious.

"Shut up, Jake!" I snapped in no mood for stupid jokes. And Edward was only eighty-six years older than me anyway.

"So yeah, she's not a big fan of mine right now," he told the girl, winking at her like they were sharing something secret. "But it's Christmas… it would be an awful shame if we didn't both get home. You wouldn't want me to miss Christmas with my family, would you?"

I rolled my eyes as he gave her the most exaggerated puppy eyes I'd ever had the displeasure of witnessing. Even through the fog of my annoyance I had to hand it to him, he had the girl eating out of the palm of his hand. There was nothing I could say now that wouldn't make me a big bad bitter sister.

The girl's eyes widened. "She's your sister? You don't look anything alike…"

"Different dads," Jake explained breezily, leaning against the counter coyly. "So, how about those tickets, beautiful?"

Fifteen minutes later I found myself sitting on a plane destined for Chicago, Jacob Black smugly planted in the seat next to me.

I ignored him, having no intention of talking to him for the duration of the flight. Or after we landed for that matter. As far as I was concerned I should have been on this flight alone and I was going to pretend like it had happened just as I planned.

I heaved out a sigh and allowed my body to relax into my seat, even permitting myself a little satisfaction in spite of Jake's presence. I'd made it.

Getting through security had been a breeze. The only items Jake and I carried between us were a phone, two wallets and a set of keys. The arduous process that usually took at least an hour had been cut to a mere fraction of that. We'd made it to the gate with time to spare.

Even if the Cullens showed up now there was nothing they could do to get me off of this plane without causing a scene. I knew they wouldn't. Above all they operated with discretion.

The only flaw involved the oaf sitting next to me. Because of him I would have to call Alice. There was no way Jake and I could possibly hope to do this alone.

I stared at the phone in my hands, wishing it could call Alice and give her the news all by itself.

I'd been alarmed to find that I had 227 missed calls and over two dozen voicemails. Holy crap, if that wasn't persistence, I didn't know what was. I deleted all thirty-three messages before I could be tempted to listen to any of them.

This must have been what kids felt like when they knew they were in trouble with their parents. I had no experience with such things. I had always been a model child, and really, even if I hadn't been, Renee would have probably encouraged it as a necessary part of my spiritual journey through adolescence. She was the same woman who had all but sat by and cheered me on when the topic of premarital sex came up, after all.

And then a very brilliant idea occurred to me. I didn't need to call Alice at all. _Someone_ who had been very eager to destroy my carefully laid plans could do the honours.

"Here," I thrust my phone into Jake's hands, retracting my vow not to speak to him for the time being. "Since you're the reason Alice is cut off, you can be the one to call her."

He fumbled with the phone like I'd planted a live bomb in his hands. The look of sheer terror that shot across his face sent a spite-fueled thrill creeping through me.

"What? No way! She'll yell at me."

He gave me the same pathetic puppy look he'd given the girl at the ticket counter. Fortunately, I was immune. I'd been grapping with vampire charms for months now. Werewolves had nothing on vampires.

"Well you should have thought of that before you barged your way onto this flight with me, now shouldn't you have?"

"Bella..." he pleaded, but it was too late. My mind was made up.

I snatched back the phone and pressed the speed-dial for Alice's cell before shoving it back into his lap.

He stared at, frozen, as it rung. It only rang for approximately a quarter of a second before someone picked up.

"_ISA__BELLA SWAN!_" an irate vampire voice roared through the speaker, audible even though I wasn't the one holding the phone. Her sheer volume was so loud, I barely recognized it as Alice. "_WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?_"

I winced and slumped into my seat, wondering if the people in the seats behind us could hear.

Jacob picked up the phone between two fingers, gingerly, as though he was picking up a poisonous cockroach.

"Um, hi, Alice," he greeted meekly, holding the receiver a good distance away from his ear. "So, uh, Bella and I are on a plane to Chicago… so yeah. Um, we'll see you at O'Hare, then?"

He moved to disconnect the phone but Alice's roar stopped him in his tracks.

"_Don't you even think about hanging up on me Jacob Black!_" She had toned down the volume considerably but there was no denying that she was still incensed. "_What the fuck are you doing with Bella on a plane to Chicago?_"

"Maybe you should talk to Bella," Jake suggested, eager to pass her off on me. "It was her idea!"

"_I don't care who came up with this idiocy! I just want to know what is going on. NOW!_"

"Fine! Could you stop yelling, please?"

"_Explain and I'll consider it!_"

"Okay, so um, Bella knows where Edward is… so we're going to go find him."

Alice scoffed. "_That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. A werewolf and a human going to confront two century-old vampires? Tell me the truth._"

"It is the truth!" Jake insisted. "Look, Bella wasn't planning on me coming with her. She just wanted me to drop her off at the airport. I think she assumed you would catch up with her in Chicago. I insisted on coming with her. I couldn't let her go alone."

Alice sighed, her voice much calmer now. She was speaking quietly enough that her voice was a barely audible warble now. "_You really are telling the truth, aren't you?_"

"Yes! Thank you!"

"_Do you have any idea what you're gotten yourselves into? Of all the stupid, idiotic things the two of you could have done… this is just about the worst._" I could practically hear her shaking her head. "_Put Bella on the phone. I need to give her a piece of my mind._"

Jake shoved the phone at me, eager to be rid of the responsibility.

"Hi Alice," I muttered, raising the phone to my ear, wary that she might have angry words for me, too.

"Bella, what on earth would possess you to think that jetting off to Chicago by yourself was a good idea?" She didn't yell. Her voice was perfectly level, marred by only by disappointment. In a way that was worse. "Do you have any idea how much danger you're putting yourself in, if your little hunch turns out to be correct?"

"It's not a hunch, Alice," I insisted. "Edward is in Chicago. In his childhood home."

"You can't know that for certain," Alice said doubtfully.

"But I do!" My voice rose in agitation. "Maybe it's a mate thing. Like intuition or something. I can't explain it. I just know that he's in Chicago. I would have told you but I knew you wouldn't have let me come. I'm sorry that I upset you, but I'm not sorry for what I did… I need to be there."

The line was silent for several very long seconds.

"If it were Jasper I don't think there's a thing in this universe that could keep me away," she admitted softly. She didn't explain any further but there was no need.

One of the perpetually perky flight attendants gestured to the glowing seatbelt sign, indicating we were close to take off.

"Look, Alice, I have to go now. We're about to head down the runway."

"I'll talk to the others. We'll be there as soon as we can," she promised. "Please, whatever you do, don't do anything rash? Anything _else_ rash, anyway."

Mumbling a hasty agreement, I powered down my phone and shoved it into my pocket.

Jake grinned at me, looking very satisfied with himself. "That didn't go so bad, huh? All screaming aside, I mean."

No, it hadn't gone too badly at all. It felt as though an enormous weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I was on my way to get Edward back and somehow the Cullens were still on my side.

For the first time in weeks, it wasn't the thought that I was never going to see Edward again that kept me awake. It was knowing that in mere hours he would be right in front of me.


	37. Torture

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Thirty-seven; Torture_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_**AN: **__Yes, that's right, this is Edward's side of the story. Fair warning to anyone who might be squeamish, Edward's side of the story isn't all unicorns and rainbows. I hope I do it justice for those of you who were curious about his experiences ;)_

_As always, I appreciate all comments and I hope you enjoy the return to EPOV :)_

xx

_**One month ago.**_

I closed my mother's leather-bound edition of Jane Eyre delicately, intent on not waking Bella. The steady beats of her heart had dropped tempo so I knew she had fallen asleep, though I couldn't see her face. I kissed the top of her head, wishing her sweet dreams.

Resting the book on my chest, I allowed myself the simple pleasure of enjoying her nearness. Inhaling deeply and closing my eyes, I allowed myself to savour the tranquility of the moment. I wished I could join her in her restful slumber.

More than anything on this earth, I missed sleep. It was a forgotten privilege, one humans took for granted and ultimately feared. Calling death the 'big sleep' had always seemed ironic to me. Since my death I hadn't slept a wink.

That was something not even Bella could change for me. She had had a hand in so many changes in my existence as of recently but the lack of sleep was and would always be a constant. A constant I was reluctant to bring upon her though I was certain that, one day, she would insist upon it.

I would have to be content with watching her while I could. She was a never-ending source of entertainment, even when she was numb to the world. I might never have been able to sleep again but I would never regret the countless hours I lay with her, doing little beyond cataloguing her every movement.

I was jarred from my musings by a distant creak from the first floor. I listened quietly for several moments, assuring myself I had missed Charlie getting out of bed, though I knew that wasn't true. I could hear his snoring coming from several rooms over.

Carefully, I extricated myself from Bella's warmth, stilling as she rolled over, reaching out to cuddle the pillow I had been resting on. When I was convinced she was still asleep I crept to the door and twisted the knob soundlessly, letting myself out of the room, my stomach heavy with uncertainty. Something was wrong. I just wasn't certain what.

I was halfway down the staircase before I recognized the sound that had been a constant part of my world for over eighty years. It was the sound of a silent mind; a mind that was blocking mine from entering. It was reminiscent of the electric hum of a refrigerator. It wasn't though. I could hear the brassy buzz of Charlie's ancient fridge in the distance.

There were only two people in the world that I knew were capable of making that sound and I wanted neither of them in Bella's home.

Resolving to keep Bella and her father safe at any cost, I hustled down the remaining stairs and into the living space where I knew I would find both of my former coven-mates. Their combined scent permeated the lower level of the house heavily, reaching me long before my eyes found them.

James was perched in Charlie's well-loved lounge chair. The way he was sitting in it made it look more like a poor effort at a throne than a recliner. Victoria was draped on the arm of the chair, eyeing me fiercely, a lethal mix of seductive and angry.

"Why hello, Edward. Long time no see," she intoned smoothly, pulling her gaze from mine to stare daggers at the leather headrest of the chair her fingernails were digging into. Only the smidgen of hostility to her tone indicated she was unhappy.

"Hello Victoria," I returned politely. I would not make the situation any worse than it needed to be. If a peaceful resolution was possible, I would locate it. "Is there something with which I can help you?"

"Of course," she snarled. "Why do you think we came? To chat? Of course not." I blinked and she was standing in front of me, brushing a finger down my sleeve in a way that made me want to step back several paces. Calling on all my self-control, I forced myself to remain cemented in place. "You know better than that."

"I'm sorry," I said, keeping my voice steady. "I'm not sure I understand."

Victoria's eyes burned into mine. "Of course you do. Stop playing coy and be a good boy. Come home with us and leave behind this nonsense. I don't know what you were thinking, assuming you could live this way. It's absurd. You have a higher purpose, Edward."

"I'm happy here," I explained, treading gently. I prayed that the Cullens had somehow caught wind of what was happening and were planning on providing assistance. There was no way I could hope to defend myself and Bella against both of them if the situation escalated.

"You have no concept of what happiness is. James told me about your little human pet and your band of misfits. Didn't I warn you about the west coast talent-seekers? They have you exactly where they want you, Edward. You've fallen victim to their schemes. James and I won't stand for it."

"There are no schemes. I'm staying here. James and I agreed this is the best solution for all of us. The two of you are mated. You don't need me as a third wheel."

"Don't presume to know what we need," Victoria snapped, each word punctuated by a flare of her nostrils. "James made a temporary oversight, letting you follow your whims with that _girl_." She jabbed a scarlet-tipped claw at the ceiling. "Your purpose is with us. You are my creation and I'm not going to let you squander everything I've afforded you on some pathetic mortal girl. I nurtured you for eighty-six years and this is how you repay me? With abandonment?"

"My decision is final," I stated. "I'm staying here."

Victoria's eyes flashed. "This is your last chance, Edward," she said calmly. "Let me assure you we won't give you another opportunity to do the right thing."

"There's no need. I already am." I tried to sound confident, but there was no way I could defend myself against both of them.

The rough sound of Victoria's teeth grinding was my only warning before she lunged at me.

I ducked her easily, slipping under her arm. She was angry and angry vampires made careless mistakes. I was determined to keep my head. I was far too aware that I was overpowered to allow myself even that small disadvantage.

She hissed at me, crouching into an offensive position. I realized in a moment of abject terror, that by ducking past her, I'd vacated my spot at the base of the stairwell. Victoria seemed to realize it only a moment after I did.

She beamed maliciously, sparing half a glance in my direction before sprinting up the staircase.

Her reaction was delayed enough that I was able to clutch her ankle before she could climb halfway. There was a soft crunch as one of the banisters suffered pockmarking by her hands. I hoped the destruction wouldn't be noticeable to Charlie in the morning.

"James!" she screeched as I wrestled her back down onto the landing, making an effort to create as little noise as possible. It was a miracle neither of the human occupants of the house had woken.

The Swans slept like rocks. I was thankful; they would only be in further danger if they were to stumble into the fray now.

"Get the damn human. I'm sure Edward will listen to _it_."

James, who had not moved from Charlie's armchair, leapt to his feet, eager to play his role in this twisted game. It didn't take a genius to figure out this had been the plan all along.

I halted, unwilling to let them touch Bella. Reluctantly, I released Victoria. "If you promise not to touch her, I'll come with you," I bargained. "I'll do everything you say."

Shame seared through me. I couldn't even do something as simple as protect my mate. I was more relieved than ever that Bella remained blissfully unaware. If she had been witness to my failure, it would have been all the more devastating.

Victoria grinned owlishly, brushing herself off where her clothing had been mussed in the scuffle. "That's what I thought."

Straightening up, she grabbed my elbow and roughly yanked me in the direction of the door. I let her guide me out of the house and toward the brush behind it without any resistance. I was not prepared to risk putting up a struggle when she was still within reach of Bella.

James followed several paces behind us, his face lit with a sinister smile. I tore my gaze from him, forcing myself to look at the trees. Seeing how much enjoyment he was drawing from this miserable situation was irking me.

"So, Edward," James began conversationally, "I noticed the human no longer smells like a virgin. Been having some fun while we were gone, weren't you?"

The tenuous thread that had been keeping me from smashing his face in snapped. I knew I was rising to the bait but I didn't care. I wouldn't stand for him belittling what Bella and I had, making it out to be something insidious.

I threw Victoria's arm off of me, diving for James throat. My instantaneous reaction caught him off guard. He was used to long-drawn out battles of words, where he riled me up and I stewed in silence until I could not handle the pressure any longer. He should have known better. He had insulted my mate.

"Whoa, what's your problem?" James sneered as he skidded across the grass, my hand clamped at his throat. "I was just catching up with what's new in your life. Spending so much time with that human, you'd think you'd understand the concept of friendly conversation."

"Shut up," I snapped, my fingers curling into the flesh of his neck. Whatever it would take to make that smirk go away. "You don't get to talk about Bella."

His eyes hardened as his skin cracked. "So sensitive. You've gone soft. You're a pathetic excuse for a vampire. I don't know why Vic was so insistent we keep you."

Using his legs as leverage, he propelled me off of him.

I skidded across the wet grass, tearing large chunks of it out by the roots, as my hands ripped at it to counteract the momentum. I stood, stalking back over to James. His minor wounds had healed and he was leaning against a nearby tree, an arrogant smirk once again plastered on his ugly face.

"If you dislike me so much, why did you come?" I roared. "I'm happy here. I'm perfectly content staying, believe me. Every single human I've met in the past month is ten times more worthy of my friendship than you'll ever be."

It probably wasn't the best idea to be insulting him now, not when it was only me against both James and Victoria, but my irritation at their interference was running my mouth for me.

James eyes flickered with indignation. "I told you. Vicky wasn't willing to give you up. And what she wants, she gets. So fucking man up and let's get out of here. You can find another human plaything. There's seven billion of the goddamn things on the planet. I'm _sure_ you can find another one you like."

"She's my mate. There will never be anyone else."

"She's human," Victoria countered flatly, dismissing the concept I could care about anyone who wasn't a vampire. "We don't mate with humans, Edward. They're our food. It doesn't make sense. Those other vampires, the Cullens," she spat, "they're tampering with you, making you believe such ludicrous things. Don't tell me they've convinced you that you can live off of animal blood, too?" She shook her head woefully and patted me on the shoulder comfortingly. "It's poison, Edward. It's okay. It's not too late yet. We just need to get some human blood in you."

I shrugged off her hand. "I'm not drinking human blood," I said flatly.

"Stop being so stubborn. We're trying to help you. Do you want to kill yourself? Because that's where you're heading."

"I don't appreciate being lied to," I bit back. "I said I'd come with you, what more do you want from me?"

Victoria bit her lip, pouting. "We didn't want to have to do this but it looks like you're going to give us no other choice." She nodded at James.

I backed away instinctively as he advanced on me. I didn't know what he was planning, but it wasn't going to be pleasant. I could only hope that they had written off Bella as unimportant and useless and that I alone would be the focus of his aggression.

I managed to run twenty feet before a boulder thrown by James tangled with my feet. The sound it made as it smashed to pieces was deafening. I cursed, hoping that the humans in hearing range – one family of two, in particular – would write it off as an act of mother nature. The pause it caused me was long enough that James was able to throw himself on top of me. I toppled into the dirt, twisting as I fell so I could sink my nails into his back. His roar of agony sent a sick satisfaction smarting though me.

In retaliation, his hands swiped at my face. I blocked the move easily enough but wasn't so lucky with his kick to my shin. The pain sent my already boiling anger into uncharted territory.

We struggled for control, limbs colliding as we attempted to gain the upper hand. I managed to pin James long enough to inflict a deep slash across his chest, but just as quickly he was able to reverse the position and tear away a chunk of my bicep. The landscape bore the worst injuries of all. Grass and dirt clouded the air, the sod bearing deep gashes as our stone bodies met it with vicious force.

When Victoria joined the fray, I knew it was all over. I might have been able to overpower James on my own, fueled by the deep-seated need to protect Bella, but I was no match for two mature vampires, well-accustomed to using force as a means of control.

She pinned my arms behind my back, twisting them as far as she could without breaking them. James pinned my legs in a similarly awkward position, and together they dragged me into the depths of the forest. Through the pain and defeat, a part of me was glad they seemed to have every intention of leaving Bella alone. I would suffer every imaginable pain, as long as they spared her.

We travelled in acrimonious silence for several minutes. The throbbing of my limbs was uncomfortable but not enough to distract me from keeping track of where we were heading. We travelled north and then due west. There was only one reason we could possibly be heading west: the ocean. It didn't take a genius to figure out they were planning on scrambling any scent trail we might leave behind.

As time stretched on, I grew more certain that the Cullens were unaware of what was happening. I refused to believe that they would have left me for dead. Emmett and Alice at least, would have put in the effort.

A short distance later I was dumped unceremoniously on the rocky shores of the Pacific, proving my suspicions. I stood, brushing the residual dirt and sand from my clothes. I wondered for a brief moment if they were planning on letting me swim under my own power. We'd travel much faster, though it would require that they place some trust in me, which seemed unlikely at this point. I'd made my position clear.

The question was answered for me, when Victoria gripped my shoulders roughly. "You do it, Jamie," she purred. "I know how much you love the sound of tearing flesh."

I had only a fraction of a second to process that thought before James' teeth sunk into my right arm. The pain that followed was excruciating. It rivaled the long-faded memories of my change. I didn't remember much, but I remembered the all-consuming burn. All of those hideous memories surged back, concentrated in my arm. I fell to my knees as the pain wracked my body.

It wasn't until I looked down that I was able to comprehend I no longer had an arm. It was now in James' hands, wriggling grotesquely. My scream of horror caught in throat. I was unable to do anything but stare stupidly at the empty spot that had once been my arm. All that was left was a jagged stump. It looked like a split rock, crystal shards protruding from it. No blood, no venom, no fucking arm.

I was intensely aware of the fact that I wasn't whole. I could feel my arm, struggling to reconnect with my body, but too weak to complete the task. The basic need to fix itself was calling on all the energy my body possessed.

I considered that maybe they had decided to kill me. If I wouldn't agree to follow their commands, then perhaps I was as good as dead in their eyes. At one time, the idea of death might have been a welcome thought. I'd never asked for this existence, so the thought of leaving it behind was not a painful one. That was before I had met Bella. Now that I had a reason to exist, I would fight tooth and nail to remain at her side. The pain my death would cause her was reason enough to want to live.

James held up my arm like a trophy. My own fingers waved at me, a pathetic plea for me to do something.

"See what happens when you don't play nice, Edward? You could have just done as we asked, but oh no, Edward thinks he knows better than his makers."

I remained quiet.

There were many things I wanted to say, the first being that they weren't my makers. I had never been more proud of that fact. The knowledge that it was Carlisle's venom and not either of theirs that coursed through me was a small comfort.

I could have screamed until my throat was raw but it would have only worsened the situation and I had no desire to be disfigured any further.

My own weakness clawed at my insides. How easily they had managed to scrape my dignity from me. It was pathetic. My only redeeming quality was that I had somehow managed to spare Bella.

"Aww, cat got your tongue?" James taunted. "We haven't taken that yet, so consider yourself lucky. Now start swimming. If you're a good boy, we'll let you keep your other arm."

He tucked my still wriggling limb under his arm, staring pointedly at me. Victoria gave me a shove, pushing me toward the frigid water.

I stood shakily, the pain of my phantom arm reverberating outward with every movement.

"Move!" James commanded. "We're on a schedule here. We don't have all day."

Through sheer force of will, I commanded my body into the ocean. The pain was unreal, but at this point, my options were limited. I was not willing to die. There was so much left in this world I wanted to experience, all of it with Bella.

With that thought hovering in the back of my mind, buried beneath the haze of pain, I forced my good arm to paddle and my legs to kick. I was much slower than usual, though still faster than a human. The routine movements gave me something to focus on other than the agony that radiated from my stump. Every so often I would catch a peek of my detached arm ahead, bobbing in James grip as he swam. I had to tear my eyes away to keep moving forward. If it were possible for vampires to get sick, that sight would have been my breaking point.

Eventually I started to lose track of time. The repetitive movements coupled with the searing pain had diminished my mental capacity so much, I was barely functioning at a human level. The brightening skies told me morning was approaching, so I knew we must have been travelling for hours, at least. We'd left Forks just as the day was changing.

Still, we kept going. Only when fat raindrops started to pierce the choppy water did James slow down. He turned to converse with Victoria but I paid no attention, too exhausted to think if it wasn't absolutely necessary.

"Out. Now," he commanded, pointing to the shore and shaking my shoulder.

Between them, James and Victoria hauled me into a cabin not too far from the shore. I had no concept of how far we had travelled. The flora scattered around led me to believe we'd made it as far as California, but I had no way of knowing if that guess was correct.

They broke the lock on the door with a twist. I could only be thankful that no one was inside. I wasn't sure I could stomach watching them mutilate humans in my current state.

Carelessly, they deposited me in one of the easy chairs in the living room. I slumped into the seat, my sopping clothing dampening the expensive-looking upholstery. Neither James or Victoria bothered stay in sight to ensure I didn't try to escape. I supposed that was a comment on my pitiable state.

They reappeared several moments later wearing dry clothing. James handed Victoria my arm and sauntered out the front door, leaving me alone with her.

"Where did James go?" I asked.

"None of your business." She thrust several dry garments at me, careful to hold my arm out of my reach. "Here. Put these on. We can't take you anywhere looking like that."

I ignored the clothing she was holding out. "But taking a one-armed person around town is plenty normal!"

"Just shut up and put on the damn clothes." She dropped them on my lap, glaring at me. "You're lucky you're alive, being such a smart mouth to James. If it weren't for me, you'd be dead."

"If it weren't for you, I would be happy," I countered bitterly, feeling a little more snappy now that it wasn't a two on one situation, even if I had no hope of overpowering Victoria in my current one-armed state. "Why couldn't you just let me stay in Washington?"

"We already told you," she grit through her teeth. "You didn't belong there. You are a part of this coven, whether you like it or not. You don't get to choose a new family! Now put on the fucking clothes and _shut up_."

Defiantly I threw them on the carpet. I might have been pathetic, but I still had a little dignity. I drew the line at stripping down in front of Victoria in my wretched state. She was the one who had insisted I be taken alive. It was safer to defy her than James.

She growled, and swung my own arm at me like a baseball bat. I just managed to duck. "Do not test me. If you want to wait until James gets back, be my guest. I can assure you that you won't like it."

Grudgingly, I swept up the clothing in a fist. "At least turn your head," I barked. She shot me an exasperated glare but did as I asked.

I had just finished buttoning the too-short jeans Victoria had supplied me with when James burst back into the cabin. Tucked under his arm was a folded wheelchair.

I eyed it warily, having a sneaking suspicion why it had been acquired. I didn't want to think about what happened to its previous occupant.

"Vicky, give Eddie his arm. He's gonna need it."

I eyed them distrustfully, wondering how that would benefit them. If they were planning on allowing me to reattach my arm, it made no sense that James had brought a wheelchair.

I didn't dare question the logic, eagerly replacing my arm on the stump. I licked the cracked skin to reattach the limb, watching my venom heal the gap. I'd likely have a hairline scar for the rest of my existence, but that was a small price to pay for use of my arm.

After what seemed an eternity I was able to regain use of each of my fingers. I flexed each one, just to be certain. I heaved a sigh of relief, glad to be feeling whole again. The reprieve from pain was much welcomed. Now that my body was no longer focusing all its energy on repairing itself, I could feel my strength beginning to return.

Not quickly enough.

Before I could adequately celebrate the lack of pain, Victoria was holding me in place as James' nails shredded through my left leg, amputating it at the knee. The pain returned instantaneously, worse than before. It was enough that I doubled over, fruitlessly struggling against the granite arms holding me in place.

I watched in horror as James deposited my writhing leg into a leather suitcase, stuffing it full of clothing to stop it from wiggling like a worm. It was amazing how innocent it appeared, sitting there at his feet. To unsuspecting eyes, it could have been a suitcase carrying sunscreen and vacation clothes.

He shoved the wheelchair in my direction. "Get him in there and make him presentable," he told Victoria. "It's time to get out of here."

Victoria lifted me, depositing me in the chair brusquely. She disappeared down the hallway, returning a moment later with a new pair of jeans to replace the tattered ones that exposed my damaged leg. This time I didn't argue, I pulled them on without comment, through the task was made incredibly awkward by my injury.

There was no hope of escape. My one advantage – speed – was null and void if I couldn't run. James and Victoria had me at their mercy. There was absolutely nothing I could do but hope I could regain their trust and subsequently my leg. In my ruined state, I was useless.

I swallowed hard, turning my eyes away from my lap, unable to allow my mind to linger on the injustice that had been inflicted. How had I gone from blissful satisfaction to utter despair in a matter of hours?

The thought of Bella was both fortifying and horrifying. I wondered if she had realized I was gone yet. Was she worried about me? Had she approached the Cullens for assistance? Were they comforting her? Or looking for me? There were so many questions, none of which I wanted answered. I didn't want to think of Bella worrying about me. I wanted to remember her with a peaceful smile on her beautiful face.

I would cling to the image of her sleeping soundly for the rest of my existence. That was the reason I would never cease to fight for my life. Some way or another, I would find my way back to her. I wasn't sure how, but I was certain I would. Perhaps Bella's grandiose belief that we were tied together by fate had finally sunk into my head.

"What the hell is taking so long?" James demanded, wrenching the image of Bella from my mind. The real world crashed back around me like a cage. "We've already spent too long in this goddamn place. Move!"

So I did. My first instinct was to stand up. As a vampire, instincts often ruled above all else, before the mind could even begin to process the situation. The agony that roared up my left side as I tried to stand sent me toppling back haphazardly into the wheelchair. I whimpered, biting down sharply on my lip to contain a howl of pain.

James chuckled at my mistake. "Careful now," he simpered. "Don't forget you're a cripple."

Calling on all my reserves of strength, I commanded my hands to grip the handrims on the wheelchair, replacing the rhythmic motions of walking with the repetitive movements necessary to keep the wheelchair rolling forward.

Neither James nor Victoria offered to push me, for which I was glad. Keeping myself in motion gave me something to focus on besides the debilitating ache in my leg.

I followed them without bothering to ask where we were going. As long as it wasn't Forks, I didn't care. I wasn't naïve enough to think Washington State was an option, so I kept my mouth shut.

We didn't travel long to reach our destination. Even in my sorry state I was aware enough to hear the planes landing and taking off long before they were visible.

It was only logical that James and Victoria had decided on fleeing through the air. It would be an easy way to thwart pursuers and distort the trail we left behind. James expertise in tracking also afforded him a wide base of knowledge on how to hide himself. Coupled with Victoria's knack for remaining out of sight, I wondered if there was any hope of me being rescued.

During the hours spent floating in the Pacific, I'd tried to reach out to Alice by making broad decisions that might provide her with a means of finding me but I had no way of knowing if I had reached her. Her inability to see Victoria could pose a problem.

The weather seemed prepared to work in the favour of my captors too. The grey clouds that had been spitting rain when we first landed ashore had darkened ominously. A downpour seemed imminent. Or perhaps the weather was just mimicking my foul situation. It was a case of pathetic fallacy at its best. With extra emphasis on pathetic.

James and Victoria purchased tickets while I sat stewing in the waiting lounge. It was almost laughable. Both of their backs were turned and why shouldn't they be? There was absolutely nothing I could do. Even if I was capable of formulating an escape – a daunting task given the inescapable pain – I couldn't execute it with a single leg. Worse, if I drew any negative attention to myself I risked incurring the wrath of the Volturi and certain death.

A young woman slipped into the chair next to me. She tapped my shoulder. "Are you alright? You look upset. Are you lost?" She had wide doe eyes that reminded me of Bella's. Hers were icy blue and not nearly as pretty.

I pursed my lips, ignoring her sympathetic thoughts. There was a spark of attraction that she wasn't sure what to do with. My innate ability to draw in humans had managed to trump even my piteous state.

With herculean effort I shook my head. "I'm fine." I angled my body away from her hoping she would take the hint and leave me alone.

James and Victoria were at my side in a flash. There might have been no need to worry about me escaping but it was too dangerous for me to be socializing with strangers on my own.

Victoria patted my head like I was a puppy. "Who's your friend, Edward?" There was an edge in her voice that the girl seemed to recognize instantly. Her eyes grew round and she backed away half a foot.

"Oh, I'm an employee for one of the airlines," she said bravely. "It's not too often we see disabled flyers on their own. I was just asking Edward," she smiled at me as she said my name, "if there was anything I could help him with."

"He's with us," Victoria said sharply. A tinny voice reverberated through the speakers overhead, announcing boarding for an outgoing flight. "That's us. So if you don't mind, we'll be on our way." She unlocked my wheelchair and turned her back on the girl.

"What do you think you're doing?" James snapped at me once Victoria had wheeled me a safe distance away from the lounge area. "Appealing to the pity of humans isn't going to help your case."

I ignored him. I was in no mood to start an argument. I just wanted to get on the damn plane to wherever the hell we were going so I could sulk and think of Bella in a worthless effort to make myself feel better.

Other than a suspicion that we might be carrying illegal goods at the baggage scan – my leg being the item in question – we had no further incidents. I might have found it humourous if I wasn't in such an atrocious mood. As if being kidnapped, ripped away from the only girl I would ever love and forced to endure immense physical pain wasn't enough, the threat of discovery and death at the hands of the Volturi loomed.

"It's my fucking prosthetic!" I roared at the chubby man behind the x-ray machine. "Do you really need to pull it out to check? Or have I not suffered enough indignity?"

He blinked. "Um… so, so sorry about that, sir," he stumbled over his words in his hurry to apologize. "I don't know what I was thinking. It should have been obvious. I didn't mean any offense! I mean, I'm sorry. Really."

James patted me on the back proudly, amused by the poor man's terrified reaction. He smirked at him as he snatched the leather suitcase from the conveyor belt. I turned away full of shame for the way I had acted. The thought that I'd made James proud sickened me.

I allowed myself to tune out the rest of the world until we had boarded our flight. I had proven I was unfit to talk to people in my current state. I pretended to fall asleep immediately after boarding. No one attempted to wake me. Even the flight attendants left well enough alone.

Not too long after the plane had leveled off at 30,000 feet, I overheard one of the other passengers thinking about meeting his son for a Blackhawks game once we landed.

It was ironic that we were heading to my hometown, the city I had promised Bella we would visit, last night when I'd given her my mother's key.

It had been only hours ago but it seemed like decades. Time was such a strange thing. How was it possible that it moved so rapidly when you least wanted it to and slowed impossibly when all you wished was that it would pass?

I wondered if I would ever get the opportunity to introduce her to my city. Or do any of the other things I had hoped to share with her. What if I couldn't escape this wretched half-existence? How many days or weeks or years would I lose, trapped in a life I no longer wanted?

The thought of Bella growing without me, leaving behind my memory and eventually moving on with someone else sent a stake through my heart. If I'd thought the physical pain was unbearable, I was wrong. It seemed like little more than an annoyance in comparison. I didn't care the cost, I would find my way back to her. It was the fuel I needed to keep my thinning sanity from floating away completely.

As usual, Bella was my saving grace.

xx

2,598,721.

That was how many seconds it had been since I had seen Bella's face. Actually, it was that many seconds since I began to actively keep track. I didn't care to think about how much greater the number would be if calculated more accurately.

Over two and a half million seconds added up to thirty days. Thirty fucking days and I'd been trapped in this hell for every one of them, acutely aware of each additional second that was added to the tally.

It was hard to believe I'd once thought of this house as a safe haven. Now my childhood home was little more than a prison. As far as I was concerned, it could be burned to the ground. I no longer hoped to bring Bella here. I never wanted to expose her to this wretched place and the ghosts that haunted it.

All of the faded memories of my parents that lived in these walls were buried beneath more sinister ones I would be nothing but pleased to see banished from the earth. In place of the warm memories of my mother's cooking and learning to play piano, I had seen and been exposed to atrocities of which I never wished to speak of again.

The red hue of my irises was proof of that.

James and Victoria had kept me locked in the house for weeks, claiming that I'd been "dirtied" by animal blood and I needed to be cleansed. Long after my eyes had turned ebony, still they refused to allow me a drop of blood.

By the fifteen day mark I was ravenous. The burn in my throat paired with the twin burn emanating from my torn arm reached excruciating levels. The pins and needles that stabbed at my throat every time I caught a whiff of Bella's mouthwatering scent were mild in comparison. Even the thirst I had felt when I'd spent weeks without blood, before I knew it was possible to drink from animals, was no comparison.

Sometimes I would think I was going mad as a result of the combined tortures. I might have been able to weather the thirst or the physical pain or even the emotional ache of being torn from my mate but all together it was too much, heightened vampire capabilities be damned.

Sometimes I would think I saw Bella standing in the room with me but then I'd blink and she would be gone. Relief always flooded me when her image evaporated. I didn't want her here, where James and Victoria could hurt her. I'd gladly suffer anything they could do to me, so long as she remained out of their grasp. I didn't want her to see me in this horrific state, broken and mad with thirst.

Even when they had reduced me to my absolute lowest, there was worse yet to be done.

The eighteenth day after I had been barricaded in the basement, James paraded into the dark room, a gleeful smile declaring his depraved intentions.

"We've got a treat for you!" he sing-songed. "I know you're going to be just thrilled!"

The scent that wafted through the lone door into the basement left no doubt what he was talking about. Upstairs, there was a petrified human man, huddled in a corner of the kitchen. All of his thoughts and prayers were for god, and little more than wasted breath. His fate had been sealed the moment he had been captured by vampires.

I held my breath, fighting against every instinct that demanded more of the luscious scent.

"Aw, c'mon," James chided, seeing my response. "Aren't you getting thirsty? Wouldn't you rather taste that delicious smelling morsel upstairs than some fucking livestock?"

I shook my head. The action was shakier than I would have preferred but my resolve was set. I was not going to kill the human. My mate was human. It would decimate her trust in me. I would not disrespect her in any way.

"Vicky!" James called up the stairs, "Bring our friend Fred to meet Eddie! I'm sure they'll get on swimmingly!"

Victoria appeared at the top of the landing, a terrified man clawing at her arm, which was clamped around his throat. He was easily a foot taller than her, but size was deceiving. His fingers were bloody with the effort of trying to pierce her stone skin. She chucked him down the flight of stairs as easily as if she had been tossing a baseball.

He landed a few feet in front of me with a sickening crunch. He was alive – barely, if the weak patter of his heart was any indication – but had suffered a few broken bones. I winced involuntarily. The fall seemed to have knocked him unconscious, a small mercy, it seemed.

All I could think about was that there might be someone out there waiting for him to come home. Was his name even Fred? Whatever it was, he was a person with a name and a job and a life worth more than a meal.

Victoria jauntily hopped down the steps, leaping over Fred as though she hadn't just catapulted the man to his death.

"He's all yours Edward," she said playfully. "Go ahead. We brought you a criminal for old time's sake. We know how much you used to love the bad boys."

I didn't respond. I was unwilling to forfeit the stale air in my lungs. I didn't know if I could hold myself in check if I did. The thought of drinking from the poor man made me feel queasy, even as my body demanded it was necessary.

"Don't be difficult!" Victoria snapped. "We're extending an easy kill. We thought you'd be glad to eat properly again. How many months have you been denying your body proper nutrition? All for what? Because that stupid human girl asked you to?"

My jaw clenched at the mention of Bella. Victoria saw the twitch. Her own expression hardened. "Don't tell me you're still sore about that girl? Is that what it will take to make you happy? We can find you another girl."

I didn't want another girl. There was only one girl for me. Though I wasn't about to tell them that. I had already let them know too much by asserting that she was my mate the day I was abducted. I wasn't about to let them touch Bella in the name of doing something benevolent for my sake. It was unspeakably selfish but I was willing to let them sacrifice an innocent, anonymous girl's life, if it meant saving Bella's.

Victoria scowled at my blank face. "Fine, have it your way." She stalked over to Fred, jerking his limp body up by his shirt collar. There was a stomach-lurching snap and then Fred was no more. It was unsettling how quickly his heart ceased beating. Even more perturbing was how easily that could have been Bella in his place. She was just as delicate and easily breakable.

Somehow, James and Victoria managed to divest Fred of his life force. I turned away, unable to watch, though the dripping sounds of thick liquid filling a glass were unmistakable.

James advanced toward me holding the flask filled with scarlet liquid. I knew what was coming but I was defenseless. Stone arms and legs cemented me in place as I thrashed. Splashes of crimson decorated the room as I fought to keep the flask away from my mouth but James and Victoria were stronger.

And that was how my eyes turned red again.

Faintly red, more the colour of wine than blood, but it was enough to remind me of the monster I used to be. Mercifully my prison in the basement was without mirrors, so I didn't have to see them often.

That torture was saved for special occasions: the days that we ventured out to casinos. Every one of the damn places were lined with flashy signs and dozens of reflective surfaces. Mirrors and metals so polished that they might as well be abounded. I loathed them nearly as much as the fucking basement.

The sole benefit was they provided my only insight into the outside world. As much as I hated being confined to the basement, the days I was permitted outside were a chance to reaffirm my sanity. Trapped alone in shadow, mired in never-ending pain, it was easy to lose sight of reality.

Our first trip had taken place only two days after we had arrived in the city. James and Victoria had expected that the humiliation and pain that I'd experienced in the initial phase of my kidnapping would be enough to keep me compliant. It wasn't.

Only a few days into the ordeal, I'd been overconfident. I'd thought being in public would allow me to refuse to obey their commands without serious consequences. After being abducted and unable to do anything to rebel, I relished the chance to show them I wasn't completely under their power.

I allowed them to dress me in an expensive suit and parade me through the flashing lights, past table after table decorated with thousands of dollars worth of poker chips. I'd refused to speak a word, acting the part of mute. The pleasure of watching their incensed faces was short lived.

My rebellion had marked the beginning of Fred's end and nearly three weeks of entrapment in the basement. After that, I hadn't dared be anything but compliant. I didn't want to be the cause of another innocent human's death. It might have been done in the name of punishing me but I hadn't been the one who suffered most.

I was not eager to incur a repeat performance. I was dreading the inevitable as it was. Sooner or later I would have to drink something and it had already been made abundantly clear to me that animal blood was not an option.

Following Fred's murder, James and Victoria must have decided that I had been sufficiently taught a lesson. The subsequent evening, I was washed of the dried red smears and dressed in another lavish suit. I didn't complain as I was wheeled into a casino with an immaculate fake ID, nor did I put up a fuss as we made the rounds through the betting tables, skimming a few thousand here, a few thousand there.

At the upscale places James and Victoria chose to frequent, it was easy to fly under the radar with substantial winnings so long as you were careful never to hit a jackpot. Millions were won and lost in the course of a day. No one paid attention to the man walking out with ten thousand when two tables over someone had just claimed fifty.

I filled my role as a gracious but excited winner perfectly. I hated myself for playing into their hands but the alternative was just as unacceptable.

It became a nightly routine. The only variable was the scenery. Sometimes the location changed, but all else remained the same: the starched suit, the abuse of my gift to deceive humans, the quiet winning, and of course the threat of losing my other leg.

They had no intention of following through. It would be too peculiar. Everyone remembered the poor, disabled, one-legged boy finally enjoying a much deserved lucky streak. Suddenly appearing short another leg would draw far too much attention. Lucky for them, the empty threat was never what kept me from acting out.

xx

2,809,529.

Three additional hours had been forged into the history books. Left alone with my thoughts, it was a welcome relief to be interrupted, even if it was by Victoria.

She appeared at the top of the stairwell, a newly pressed suit covered in plastic in hand. It was one I recognized from several days before. The single-breasted charcoal number I wore the one night James and Victoria insisted it was time to go for a high-stakes poker jackpot. I won, of course. So maybe it could be considered my lucky suit.

I never would have thought I would miss the trendy dark-wash jeans that Alice kept in steady supply but I did. They felt more like home than any of the perfectly tailored things I had worn in recent days. The pair I had been wearing the night I was abducted had long since been trashed.

Daintily prancing down the stairs, she tossed the garment bag in my lap. "Put this on," she ordered. "We're leaving in five. Be ready."

It was still light out, so the command was unusual. Typically our gambling escapades were saved for the post-dusk hours. Gambling was an activity intended to be shrouded in darkness, after all.

Waiting until the door shut behind her, I started the arduous process of forcing my body into the material. I had yet to acclimate to its broken state. I didn't think I ever would. The vampire mind was not built to process change. That was why it was so painful to be without my leg. The only thing my mind was capable of processing was the need to mend itself. The effort of trying to do anything else, even something as simple as changing my clothes required effort I didn't have to expend.

It wasn't until I we were gathered outside that I realized I hadn't seen daylight since I had been captured. Plump clouds sailed in the sky above, so there was no danger of the sun exposing our inhuman skin. They were sprinkling snow and had been for days. Even trapped in the basement, it was easy to hear the flutter of snowfall. It was calming in its steady rhythm.

More than once I had imagined Bella and I playing in the snow. She would have made a beautiful snow angel. I could picture her hair snarled by the wind and her cheeks rosy from the icy cold. I would make sure she was bundled up tightly, of course. She would be adorable in a woolen scarf and matching hat. One with a fat pompom on the end.

"What the hell are you waiting for? Get in the cab!" James snapped, detangling me from my wishful thoughts.

I didn't have to pretend to be awkward and human. My disability was great enough I fumbled getting myself out of the wheelchair and into the car.

"A little help?" I growled, bitter. The cab driver's eyebrows raised, his gaze focusing on us through the rearview mirror. "Please," I added, for the sake of civility.

Victoria offered her hand with an eye roll. I clenched my jaw, wishing I didn't need to ask for help. I grasped her hand harder than necessary, digging my nails into her flesh, pleased when she snatched her hand away with a glare.

I confined my eyes to the window the entire ride. I didn't listen for the directions Victoria had given the driver, nor did I care. It didn't matter where we went. All the places we frequented were filled with debauchery I would have rather avoided.

We were only a minute away – the familiar route told me where we were headed whether I wanted to know or not – when I spotted a familiar head of brown hair through a shop window. The waves of mahogany running through it were unmistakable. And then she turned, a steaming mug in hand, and I caught sight of familiar features. Even from the distance, the chocolate brown was unmistakable.

Icy panic rushed through my frozen veins. What was she doing here in a little coffee shop? Was it really her? Or was this another hallucination brought on by an unfortunate combination of pain and heartache?

Up until now, I'd been confident in my ability to differentiate between what was real and what was not. For the first time I couldn't make the distinction. I was overwhelmingly certain it was her. Except that it couldn't be. There was no reason for her to be in Chicago. Was I finally losing my grasp on reality?

I kept my head down though my entire being was aching to burst from the vehicle and pull her into my arms. The rational part of me was all too aware of the peril doing so would place her in. I had to act normal for her sake. I glimpsed at James and Victoria through my peripheral vision, relieved to see they were paying no attention to the world outside the cab.

My gaze remained glued to her until the car turned into the parking lot, cutting her from my field of vision. I fought against the instinct to crane my neck to keep her in sight. Panic and need mingled in my throat fighting for supremacy.

The picture of her standing there framed in the window, holding a mug with curls of steam emanating from it was too tangible to be a figment of my imagination.

If only I could have reached out, I could have grasped her hand in mine.


	38. Retribution

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Thirty-eight; Retributive_

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN: **__There's been a few new readers hoping on the bandwagon lately. Thank you to everyone who has been reading, whether from the beginning or since the last chapter, I appreciate all of you and your comments :) You drive the story. I can't say how many times the story has been made better by things you suggest. We're only a few chapters from done, now…_

xx

"Dad, I'm fine," I repeated for what had to be the tenth time. "I'm really, really sorry I didn't tell you before I left."

"I just don't understand why you didn't." His disappointed tone was the reason I had dreaded making the phone call. It inspired even more guilt than Alice's. It was no wonder he made such a good police officer. "If you wanted to visit your mom for Christmas, you could've told me. I know how close the two of you are. I would've understood."

Remorse over that lie prickled. I didn't want him to think I was picking my mother over him. I was quick to remind myself it was the lesser of two evils. Given the alternative – telling him that I was rescuing my boyfriend from two mental vampires – I decided I had made the right choice. It was safer that he remain in the dark.

I knew he'd never call my mother to verify. Charlie and Renee never spoke unless they had no way around it. Usually I was their go between. Since I has been old enough to operate a phone, I had been the one to call Charlie to let him know when to expect me each summer. As a result, it had been years since my parents had said so much as a word to one another. I didn't expect that would change any time soon.

"It was kind of last minute," I explained awkwardly. I'd been so panicked about getting to Edward I hadn't considered how me taking off would affect anyone else. "Mom found some really cheap discount tickets online. She's been asking me to visit for a while. I didn't want to say no. When she told me I had to leave today I made a split second decision."

"I'm not happy about it," Charlie muttered down the receiver. "But you're 18 now. You're old enough to make your own decisions and I trust you. You've always been a good kid with a good head on your shoulders. Next time, for the love of God, just throw your old man a bone and give him a little warning, alright?"

"Thanks, Dad. I'm sorry I've been such a pain in the ass lately. I'll try to be better."

Charlie cleared his throat uneasily. "I know. Have a good Christmas with your Mom. You call me if you need something. It's gonna be odd, not having you around for Christmas. I was getting used to all the good food."

"I'll cook you something special when I get back," I promised.

"I'd really like that." Charlie's relief was audible. I wondered if maybe he had been worried that I wasn't planning on coming back. I resolved to give him a really big hug when I got back and let him know how much living with him for the last couple years had meant to me.

Jake smirked at me, tipping his chair back on two legs as Charlie and I exchanged final goodbyes. I took a sip of the tea sitting on the table in front of me.

After the call with Alice, I had resolved to do everything she asked. She had made it very clear that Jake and I were not to go searching for Edward by ourselves and that we were to stay put until she and the others arrived. After all the trouble I'd caused getting to Chicago, I owed her that much.

Sitting around and waiting in the airport had been vetoed by Jake pretty quickly. So once we'd gotten to Chicago, we'd asked a cab driver to take us to a coffee shop in Lincoln Park where we could wait more comfortably. We still had another hour of waiting ahead. If James and Victoria didn't get to me first, the anxiety of sitting around on pins and needles might just be the end of me.

"What are you looking at?" I snapped when Jake continued to stare. I still wasn't pleased he had forced his way into my plans. He was only putting himself in danger. I really didn't want to be held responsible for him getting hurt.

"Nothing," he trilled, playing innocent. "It's just nice to see you and Charlie getting along. He's been worried about you."

"How would you know?"

Jake raised a thick eyebrow. "My dad is his best friend. They may not be the most talkative dudes around, but they do manage to get in a few words. And trust me, the way you were acting, it's no wonder they were talking about you."

"I wasn't that bad!"

"Uh, yeah you were," Jake countered, tipping his chair back further. I was tempted to give it the extra shove it needed to topple over. "Oh, Edward, I miss you so much, I can't live without you. Oh, how will I continue on? My life might as well end now," he mocked, his imitation of my voice closer than I cared to admit.

"Shut up, you idiot," I demanded. "Do you really think this is a good time to be making jokes? There's no guarantee we're going to make it out of this any better off than before. We haven't found Edward yet, let alone gotten out of here in one piece."

Jake shrugged, raising his mug of hot chocolate to his lips and taking a massive gulp.

"You're too tense. You need to relax a bit. I thought that tea was supposed to chill you out." He nodded to the waitress at the counter of the coffee shop. "Are you sure they didn't mix up your order and give you coffee by mistake?"

I ignored the jibe. I was not in the mood to get into a petty discussion on the merits of tea versus coffee. I just wanted to get Edward and leave. Waiting had never been a strong suit of mine. I glanced at the digital numbers on my phone, imploring them to move faster. It was only early in the evening, but it felt like it had been forever since we had left Forks behind.

I laid my head on the table. The weight of the day and my lack of sleep the night before were not helping my patience. I must have drifted off, because the next thing I remember, Jake was shaking my shoulder, the darkened sky visible in the window behind him.

His eyes were wide. "Okay, don't freak out. But I think I just saw Edward outside."

I shot up in my seat, instantly awake. My eyes flashed to the window, trying to spot the face that was more familiar to me than my own. All I could see was a black cab. It was parked on the opposite side of the street, blocking everything else in view. Even if it hadn't been blocking the view it was hard to distinguish anything through the blowing snow, since darkness had enveloped the city while I was asleep.

"Where?" I asked Jacob desperately, still scanning the street, hoping maybe I'd missed something.

"In that car, over there." He pointed at the black cab. "The windows are tinted and it's snowing, so it's kinda hard to tell, but I'm pretty I saw Edward get into it."

"Are you sure it was him? Was there anyone else with him?" I squinted, trying to get a better glimpse, but it was useless. Jake's eyesight was much better than mine.

Jacob frowned, apologetic. "I'm not positive. But it looked a lot like him. Same weird hair, really pale. Someone who might have been Victoria was helping him into the car. I'm not exactly sure what she looks like… I've only ever seen her from the back when I was chasing her with the pack."

I remained glued to the window, watching the dark car like it was my lifeline. The illumination of the streetlamp shone on the car, so the vehicle was easily visible through the snow, but it reflected off the windows making it impossible to see what was going on inside.

As it pulled away from the curb my stomach knotted. There was a possibility Edward was in that cab. I didn't want to let it out of sight. I looked at Jake, unsure what our next step should be. Should we try to follow them? A glance at my phone said the Cullens wouldn't be landing for another half hour. Could we really risk letting them out of sight? What if they took off again?

"Bella. I know what you're thinking, but no. It's not a good idea. Look, maybe we could try asking around. You have that picture of Edward on your keychain, right? Maybe we could check some of the places across the street and see if anyone's seen him. If someone has, there's a good chance that you were right and they've gone back to his house. When the reinforcements arrive we can worry about storming in."

I crossed my arms defensively. I had an inkling he was just trying to keep me busy so I didn't do something that might be perceived as stupid. "Can't you just smell him? I mean if he was just there, you'll be able to recognize his scent, right?"

"It's snowing," Jake said as if that explained everything. At my blank look he added, "The snow messes with smells. Combined with the wind, it's pretty unlikely, but I can try."

"Fine. Let's go then," I agreed reluctantly, already zipping up the leather jacket I had borrowed from Jake. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?" I asked him, regarding his thin knit shirt. It was freezing outside.

He stood and grabbed his hot chocolate, chugging the remaining contents. "108 degrees, remember? I'm my own furnace. I'll be fine."

"Okay, let's go," I said more bravely than I felt. I was kind of terrified. I wasn't sure what we were hoping to find. At least if we managed to gather some evidence it was Edward, we'd know we were in the right place.

I shivered as I stepped out in the chill. I would have killed to have Jake's ability to keep warm right then. I stopped cold in my snowy footprints as the signage and flashing lights across the street slipped into view.

"It's a casino," I told Jake excitedly, pushing the crosswalk button eagerly.

Jake shot me a puzzled look. "Okay. I hate to ruin your fun, but one, we're both underage, and two, we've kinda got some other things to worry about. Probably not such a good idea to be gambling right now."

I shook my head. "No. Not that. Edward told me that James and Victoria used to take him to casinos. His ability gives him an edge, so they scammed houses out of thousands that way. I remember because he said they really loved blackjack and he especially hated it because it was the most boring game ever invented."

"So you think they've slipped into old habits?" Jake questioned. "Isn't that kind of dumb? I mean, it's asking to get caught. It's the first place anyone is gonna look if they know who they're looking for."

"You don't understand vampires," I countered. "They're creatures of habit. They don't change for anyone. Except maybe their mates, but even that's a struggle. James and Victoria are set in their ways."

Jake held up his hands. "Okay. You're the vampire expert."

I pushed open the shiny brass doors tentatively, unsure what kind of reception we would get, being that both of us were younger than legally required. I gripped the key chain that held Edward's picture tightly, prepared to shove it at anyone who looked like they might kick us out.

A woman in a dark vest with a sleek ponytail greeted us as we passed through the entrance. "Hello. May I see your IDs, please?"

"Um, hi, we're not here to gamble, actually. We're looking for someone who we think might have been here earlier. His name is Edward and he looks like this." I showed her the picture of him, small though it was.

To my surprise she burst into a wide smile, recognition obvious in her expression. "Oh yes. He's been a regular the last couple weeks. Him and his sister. He's such a sweet boy. Very quiet though. He's drawn the attention of quite a few admirers, especially the younger set. He walked out with a nice sum today. First time I ever saw him win a jackpot. He deserves it after what he's been through."

My heart fluttered. I had steeled myself for disappointment. Though hearing the woman mention 'what he'd been through' didn't sound like something I wanted to hear about. What had those monsters done to him?

Morbid curiosity made me ask, regardless. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you know, the accident," she said carefully. "Being confined to a wheelchair can't be easy. The poor kid, his whole life thrown out of whack just as it was beginning. I can't imagine how he's done it."

"He was confined to a wheelchair?" Jake said doubtfully. "Edward wasn't in a wheelchair." He took my keys to show the girl the picture again. "Are you sure this is him?"

The woman nodded. "One hundred percent. Excuse me for saying so, but it's hard to forget the boy with one leg."

I swallowed my gasp. His inability to escape snapped into sense. There was only one way I knew of to damage vampire skin: fire. They'd burned off his leg so he couldn't leave them. Their vindictiveness really did know no bounds.

Tears stung my eyes, my hate for James and Victoria growing exponentially. He'd bear the scars of their cruelty forever now. How could they do that to him and call themselves his family? The drive to be there to comfort him was stronger than ever.

"Right," Jake said smoothly, covering for my emotional reaction. "The accident must have been recent. It's been a while since we've seen him. We're trying to reconnect."

The woman nodded in empathy. "They said it happened within the past year," she explained helpfully. "I can understand it's a bit of a shock to find someone different than you expected. It's not something you hear of every day."

"Is there any chance you know where he lives?" Jake pressed.

"He never said. The cash desk would have it on file but they wouldn't be able to distribute it without express permission. I'm sorry."

Jake thanked her for her help and led me back out the way we'd come. I was stoic. The woman's unintentionally horrific account of what had transpired had shaken me.

I didn't want to think about how much pain the loss of his leg must have caused him. Or how it would affect him in the future. He wouldn't be able to hunt… he'd always have to rely on others' for help. If I knew Edward, that would wound him more than as the physical pain.

"It's okay, Bella," Jake soothed, wrapping a warm arm around my shivering shoulders. I soaked in the heat. My insides were icy from shared pain and my outsides frozen from the cold. "We know we're in the right city now. We just need to wait for the Cullens and then we'll get everything sorted out. He'll be fine and they'll pay for what they've done to him. We'll go back to the coffee shop and wait. Their plane should be landing any minute."

"It's already been a month!" I snapped as he tried to lead me toward the shop we'd vacated fifteen minutes prior. "I'm tired of waiting! And he's stuck there with them, and they're hurting him! They burned off his leg, Jacob! He'll never get it back! Who knows what else they'll do to him given the chance?"

By the end of my rant tears were dripping off the end of my chin. I swiped at them angrily. Who was I to be crying when Edward was the one suffering?

"So what?" he returned irritably. "What can we possibly do? Without the others, we'll get ourselves killed. Is that what you want? Because if it is, you're on your own. I'm not following along this time because you're too impatient to wait ten minutes! If they wanted to kill him, they would have done it! So stop being such a baby and chill out! Nothing is going to happen!"

My jaw tightened at the insinuation that I was being ridiculous and selfish. Though a part of me knew it was true, my adrenaline was firing and the fraction of awareness was easily blanketed by rage.

"Fine," I said icily. "I'll see you around." I stomped through the thickening blanket of snow. In the last hour it had come down furiously, covering the city in pristine white. The purity of it was completely at odds with everything I was feeling.

I waved at one of the cabs lined up in the roundabout in front of the casino, sliding myself into the backseat. I yanked the door to slam it shut, but it was prevented from closing by Jake's hand.

"Bella, please don't do this. You're going to get yourself killed. Please."

I ignored him, tugging on the door once again, but it remained firmly in Jacob's grip. "Leave me alone!"

"Bella, I'm begging you, don't." The puppy eyes were out full force, but I pointedly ignored them, too angry that he'd called me out to care.

"Sir," I addressed the cabdriver, playing up the role of delicate woman. If it was fair game for Jake to con girls at airplane ticket counters, I could use the cabbie to my advantage, too. "This man is drunk and he won't leave me alone! I don't know what to do!"

The driver exited the cab, bravely facing down Jacob, who towered nearly a foot over him. "The lady said to stay away. I'm afraid if you don't step away from my cab, I'm gonna have no choice but to call the cops."

Jacob backed away reluctantly, given no other option but to comply. I slammed my door shut. Once the driver returned to his seat, I demanded that he lock them too.

The man dusted the snow from his cap and flicked the heat up a notch. "Where to, miss?" he asked, his eyes still on Jake in the rearview mirror.

I swallowed twice before I was able to form the words to the address I had long since memorized.

xx

As the cab neared its destination rationality and a healthy dose of fear kicked in. I had never intended to go find Edward on my own. Even when I had devised my plan to get to Chicago, before Jake had thrown a wrench into it, I had known the Cullens would be hot on my heels. There had never been any danger of going into the ordeal completely by myself.

I might have been hopeful, but I wasn't stupid. I knew there was nothing I could do that Edward couldn't. If James and Victoria had managed to prevent him from escaping, my humanness would guarantee there was nothing I could contribute.

It was the shock of discovering what they were doing to Edward that had pushed me into the taxi. Jake's words – truthful words, I could admit in hindsight – had been an excuse for me to pull the trigger. I wasn't angry at Jake, not really. It was James and Victoria I was angry at and I had let that cloud my judgment. It was a stupid move I now regretted.

Dread settled in the pit of my stomach as the cab turned onto Edward's street. This was a bad idea. I knew it was. I had promised Alice I wouldn't do this for good reason.

"What number did you say it was, miss?" The cab driver asked, glancing at me in the rearview.

"Could you maybe drive around the block a couple of times?" I suggested uneasily, making up my mind to wait for the Cullens and not do anything reckless. "Keep the meter running. I just need a little more time."

He nodded. "Of course. Just tell me when you're ready to pull over."

I watched the numbers on the houses pass. As the count pushed within half a dozen of 2013, I held my breath. As we drove past the house that Edward had grown up in a century ago, my vision took on a surreal quality. Edward was in there now. If it weren't for a few layers of bricks and drywall, I would have been able to lay eyes on him for the first time in a month.

I hardly noticed how beautiful the house was. It wasn't until the second time past it that I was able to take any of it in. It was a gorgeous old-Victorian style home that, if I set my mind to it – a daunting task given that all that occupied it was the need to see Edward and be done with this nightmare – I could picture young Edward running around it, playing in the snow, ruddy human cheeks and all.

On the third pass I signaled to the driver to let me out across the street, several houses down from Edward's.

Jake had said the Cullens were due to arrive any moment more than fifteen minutes ago. They had to be getting close by now. I didn't want to accidently involve the innocent cabdriver. In James and Victoria's eyes there would be no reason for him to survive if he got caught up in the mess. I refused to turn him into collateral damage, so it was best I wait out the remaining minutes by myself.

I waited until the cab turned the corner before moving under the cover of a tree. It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing. I shivered as the feral winter wind blew straight through the leather of Jake's jacket. Snow was still coming down in icy flakes that stung as they bit at my exposed skin. It wasn't quite enough to be called a blizzard but it was close.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket to check if I'd missed any texts from Alice. I tucked my freezing hands into the too-long sleeves of the jacket, leaving only my fingertips to operate the touchscreen.

The phone dropped into the half foot of snow piled beneath my feet when a hand clapped on my shoulder. Instinctively I shrugged away from the touch and turned to face the person.

I'd never seen her before but she was instantly recognizable. The abundance of fiery red hair that shot out in every direction left no doubt that I was looking at Victoria. Red hair like that just wasn't common. Her scarlet eyes eliminated any doubt. The streetlights picked up the red hues easily, making them appear even more sinister than they would have in daylight.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" she simpered. "Are you lost little Bella Swan?"

I straightened my shoulders. I would not fall prey to intimidation tactics, even if my insides were screaming with terror.

"My, listen to that delicate little heartbeat," she said when I remained silent. She circled me like a vulture examining prey. "Don't tell me it's beating for Edward Masen. He's moved on, I'm afraid. That's why he left, you know. He's found another human plaything. He said she was much better in bed. So don't waste your time. Go ahead then, run on home with your little broken heart."

Tears stung my eyes, though not for the reasons that Victoria was hoping. I ignored her playful sneer. I would not pander to her attempts to hurt me. She could tell as many lies as she wanted. I knew Edward better than she ever would. He wouldn't do that to me.

"Let me ask him myself," I suggested audaciously. "If I talk to him and he confirms, I'll leave."

Victoria shook her head. "Why do you insist on causing yourself the pain, little girl? He's with her now. Do you really want to see him fucking another girl? I'm quite certain you won't enjoy walking in on that."

Anger boiled in the pit my stomach. "You're lying."

Her eyes narrowed. "Don't call me a liar. You're trespassing outside my home, and you're calling me a liar?"

"I'm not trespassing," I insisted. "I'm not even on the property."

She rolled her eyes. "Technicalities. Don't think I didn't hear you in your little taxi, circling the block. It's pathetic, really. Spying on a man who no longer cares about you."

I returned her glare, refusing to comment on her ridiculous assertions. I knew better than to trust anything she said. She seemed even more irritated that I wasn't backing down.

"Enough small talk. If you want to see Edward, fine. You won't like it." I didn't doubt that. But not for the reasons she claimed.

She grabbed my arm and dragged me in the direction of the house. I stumbled behind her, tripping over my own feet in an effort to keep up with her. As she led me up the porch steps, I tumbled to the ground. My hands instinctively reached out to soften my fall and met frozen cement. Angry red scrapes coloured them.

Victoria's gaze flashed to the fresh blood, hunger clear in her eyes. She didn't bother to hide it from me. I half expected her to lose control of whatever restraint she had then and there. She didn't. Instead she grabbed the collar of my coat and dragged me inside like I was a disobedient puppy.

"Jamie?" she called out. "Look at what I found outside."

A dirty-blond vampire appeared at her side. I'd never seen a vampire that could be considered anything less than ethereal – until now. He was average looking, almost ugly, as far as vampires went. His blond hair seemed dirty and his features squashed, as though he was permanently pressed up against an invisible window.

"Ah yes, Miss Swan." He leered at my bloody palms much the way that Victoria had. "Bring her to the basement," he commanded.

Victoria gleefully grabbed a hold of a handful of my hair and yanked me towards a door just beyond the kitchen. Pain radiated from my scalp as she dragged me down a flight of stairs into a cold, dark space.

There were no windows or any lights of any kind. I couldn't see anything, but the space had the horrible coppery smell of blood. I was quite certain I wouldn't be the first to die here.

"Don't touch her." Edward's hard voice sliced through the silence.

I couldn't see him through the darkness but judging based on the direction of his voice, he was only feet away. I reached out blindly, desperate to feel him. I needed to know he was real.

My fingers found cold metal. I felt around trying to determine what it was. When my hand met a rubber tire, I realized it had to be a wheelchair. I flung myself at the chair, knowing I'd find Edward in it. Familiar hands lifted me, pulling me close.

"Edward!" I sobbed, a horrible mix of relief and fear setting in my stomach as Edward curled me securely in his lap. For the first time in weeks, my world felt centered.

Remembering what the woman at the casino had said, I reached to touch his leg, needing to feel for myself before I could believe it. There was nothing but empty space. My heart broke for him all over again. He would never be the same again.

I wound my arms around his neck, desperate to be as close to him as possible… to offer comfort and let him know I loved him. If we were going to die, I wanted to cherish our last moments together.

"Did they hurt you?" Edward asked me roughly.

I shook my head against his chest. I fisted my bloody hands, through it was stupid to hide them from him. A few scrapes and bruises were insignificant and I didn't want him worrying about them.

A lone dim bulb snapped on then, just as James materialized as the foot of the stairs with a toolbox in hand. He set it down in the small space. The basement hardly qualified as a room. It had to be less than ten feet each way, with the staircase taking up a large portion of that. With the four of us crammed inside, it seemed even smaller.

James opened the box with a loud snap. He pulled out a pair of pliers, examining the rusted metal in the sparse light of the hanging bulb.

"These should do nicely for removing fingers, what do you think, Vic?" James declared loudly. Victoria nodded her approval, digging through the toolbox for additional tools of torture.

"Do whatever you want with me," Edward pleaded. "I'll do whatever you say. Just leave Bella out of it. Please, I'm begging you."

James eyes flicked in our direction. "Well isn't that sweet. Eddie is willing to sacrifice himself for his human. Well, that's just too fucking bad. She gave up the right to live when she went snooping where she had no fucking business being." He snapped the jaws of the pliers. "The price of being a nosy little slut is ten fingers."

He advanced toward us, still holding the pliers. "And I always collect. Don't forget that, Eddie. Nothing you can say will change the fact that she's the one who has to pay her debts."

His cold, fathomless eyes narrowed in on me.

"And you. You've been awfully quiet for someone who's about to lose a few digits. Not much for talking, are you? All you humans are so annoying. There's never any consistency. Some of you love to talk. You beg and you plead and you pray to your ridiculous god for mercy. And then there's the quiet ones like you. The ones that pretend to be strong when inside they're cowards like all the rest. Edward could tell you that, couldn't you, Edward? He hears thoughts, you know. He's heard the pathetic thoughts of thousands of humans as he's torn open their necks." James jerked the pliers through the air, as if to reenact the scene. The pleasured smile on his face turned my stomach.

Edward was silent, his head hung with shame.

I channeled every ounce of hatred I felt for the two vampires before me into my cold stare. If James was trying to make me think Edward was no better than them, he was wrong. There was absolutely no comparison to be made. When Edward had been offered the choice to cease killing humans he'd embraced it with open arms. James and Victoria didn't care. They took pleasure in death and mayhem.

James raised an eyebrow. "You're not surprised. You know about his past, then. Oh well, I guess you're going to have to die. We can't have our secrets getting out, you know. It's unfortunate, really. Well, not too unfortunate. I am quite thirsty. Don't worry, we won't be greedy, we'll let Edward have a taste, too.

"You'll have to kill me first," Edward snarled, pulling me closer and reversing so we were tucked into a corner. He pressed my head against his chest. I wasn't sure if he was trying to comfort me or shield me from looking at James.

"Don't be so sure. Don't you smell that?" James sniffed the air and snapped the pliers again. "Lovely isn't it? You won't be able to resist."

He materialized beside me and grabbed one of my fisted hands, unfurling it with no effort at all. My fingers had just barely straightened when James went sailing backward. He smashed into the staircase, tearing through it like it was paper. The pliers clattered to the floor several feet in front of him.

Victoria snatched them up, diving for them before Edward could reach them. She twirled them in her hand, snapping them just like James had.

Everything occurred so quickly it took me a moment to register what had happened: Edward had kicked the other vampire with his good leg.

James was on his feet again before I could blink and he was seething.

"I _said_ don't touch her," Edward snapped, matching the other vampire's vicious expression.

"You fucking asshole," James spat at Edward. He snatched the pliers back from his mate and stalked towards us again. "Do you really think you can overpower us? A fucking cripple and a human? It's so pathetic it's almost not worth the effort. But then, how would you learn your lesson?"

There was a roar and a violent smash upstairs that shook the ceiling with its force. The crunch of wood breaking echoed down the stairs. James and Victoria exchanged looks of surprise.

"One of the fucking dogs?" Victoria scowled, eyeing the top of the stairwell. "How is that possible? They don't… not here."

"Stay here. I'll be right back," James demanded, handing her the pliers. "I'm gonna let out the fucking dog. Fucking mutts…"

He hurtled past the broken stairs, disappearing to the upper floor. More sounds of furniture being destroyed spread through the house. Howls I recognized vaguely as wolf sounds and snarls that had to be James' alternated.

Victoria eyed us warily, clearly unsure what she was supposed to do without James' leadership. It seemed to me that she was much more comfortable issuing threats and taunts than administering physical violence. Her behaviour outside sprung to mind – she had tried to convince me Edward didn't love me any more. Violence had only been a secondary measure when her threats had proved an ineffective means of control.

"What's Jacob doing upstairs?" Edward whispered, though it was pointless lowering his voice.

Victoria was only watching us half-heartedly, however, a large portion of her attention was focused upstairs, where it was apparent a fight was brewing.

"It's a long story..."

He pressed his forehead against mine. "I suppose we don't have time for those yet. I want you to know I love you, okay? Whatever happens, don't forget that. I love you. Always."

"I love you, too," I responded, burying my face in the crook of his neck. He smelled just like I remembered. It was infinitely better than the rotten smell of death that lingered in the basement.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up," Victoria snapped at Edward. "Do you really truly think you love this thing?" she flicked at my hair distastefully.

Edward snarled and shoved away her hand irritably. "How many times do I have to tell you not to touch her?"

That comment only seemed to make Victoria more upset. "It's disgusting. You're confused. We'll find you a real mate and then you'll see. What James and I have is–" The ceiling shook with another crash. "James!" The panic infused into his name almost made me feel sorry for her.

She darted up the steps, the cries of her mate's name growing more desperate as she disappeared from sight.

"What's happening?" I questioned tentatively. The ceiling was shaking and groaning with the force of whatever was going on. I could still hear James' snarls in the mix, so he couldn't be too badly incapacitated.

"The Cullens have joined the fray," Edward said shakily. "Emmett and Jasper have got James pinned in a corner. Victoria knows he's as good as dead. She does love him, in her strange way."

The words were not yet out of his mouth when an agonized roar filled the house. Edward winced and clutched me even tighter to his chest. He was squeezing me so tightly it was painful. I didn't care.

He didn't have to tell me that James had met his end.

"It's over?" I questioned in a strained voice. I was unwilling to believe it until I heard the words from someone else.

I didn't get them from the person I expected.

"It's over," Alice said, standing over us, a leather suitcase in hand. She set it down at our feet. "Almost, anyway. The others are finishing off Victoria. She's not putting up much of a fight. She's going to let Rosalie rip her to pieces when she sees James is dead."

Edward's expression was blank. It had to be an odd experience for him. As much pain and suffering as James and Victoria had caused him, they had once been a significant part of his life. I hugged him tightly, extending what little comfort I had to offer.

Alice's expression was grim. "We've got to get out of here. Carlisle and Esme are getting ready to torch the place."


	39. Liberated

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Thirty-nine; Liberated_

_**POV:**__ Edward_

_**AN: **__Several of you seemed very concerned about Edward's leg, so without further ado…_

xx

"Torch the place?" Bella repeated, dumbfounded. "Is that necessary?"

"Yes," Alice said flatly. "Humans were killed here. We can't risk authorities finding it in tact. There's also the issue of disposing of James and Victoria. It's two for the price of one."

Bella nodded. "Okay," she said shakily, her fingers gripping my neck tighter. The way she was looking at me, I got the impression she was more concerned that I was losing my home than anything else.

"It's okay," I reassured her, kissing the top her head. "The sooner this house is erased from memory, the better. I have no intention of returning."

"But it's your parents' house," she protested. "You grew up here."

"Bella, I spent a miserable month in this place, in pain, missing you, witnessing awful things. I'm never going to be able to think of this house without those things clouding my mind. It's better this way."

Bella combed her fingers through my hair, her eyes glassy. "Okay. I guess we should get out then. Are you alright now? Your leg… does it still hurt?"

"I'll be fine once it's reattached." I nodded to the suitcase that Alice had brought with her. She set about unbuckling the straps and releasing the zippers that held it closed.

Bella watched in horror as the mound of clothes within it writhed like pail of worms. I bent over, with her still in my lap, retrieving the leg buried underneath the pile of quivering cloth.

"Is that your leg?" Bella's bewildered tone might have been humourous if the situation wasn't so grotesque.

I rolled up the pair of jeans I was wearing and replaced my leg. I spit into my hand, using the venom to reseal the wound. I sighed in relief as the fluid worked to heal the detached flesh. Bella buried her face into my neck, unable to watch. Gradually the pain dissipated.

"That has got to be one of the grossest things I've ever seen in my life," Bella observed, wrinkling her nose in the most adorable way. "I'm so glad you've got your leg back, though. When the woman at the casino said… I thought they burned it. I thought that was the only way to destroy vampire skin."

"Destroy it, yes. Remove it, no," Alice explained. "Vampire nails and teeth do that job just fine. Broken limbs are fixable, so long as the removed part isn't burned. They heal fastest with venom, though it would heal itself without, just a little slower."

"James and Victoria wouldn't have taken that risk," I explained. "I was a hassle to them without my leg. They fully expected that one day I'd see sense – their skewed version of it – and they could give it back without any concern that I might try to run."

"We've kind of got to get out of here, guys," Alice interrupted. Acrid purplish smoke was already creeping into the basement from upstairs, indisputable evidence that vampire flesh was burning somewhere.

I stood, Bella still in my arms. I had made her a promise that I fully intended to keep whether the house was on fire or not.

"Edward!" Alice called after me as I sped up the stairs.

"Where are we going?" Bella wondered, her arms winding around my neck to steady herself, though she had to know I would never let her fall.

I wasn't planning on letting her go for a very long while. After more than four weeks apart, I needed the comfort of her in my arms. It wasn't until I felt her skin against mine again that I realized just how much it had ached to be away from my mate for such an extended period of time. If anyone tried to separate her from me now, I would not be held responsible for any negative consequences.

"I have some things that I want to show you," I told her, kissing the confused pucker on her forehead. She was just as soft and warm as I remembered. Better, even. No matter how sharp, memories would never be able to do the feeling justice.

"Okay," she agreed. We were up the second flight of stairs and in my childhood room before the second syllable was out of her mouth.

"This was your room?" she questioned, taking in our new surroundings. She made no move that indicated she wanted me to release her for which I was glad. I wasn't ready to let her go yet.

"It's very you," she noted, taking in the hunter green walls and contrasting oak furniture.

The room had escaped the desecration that befallen the rest of the house in the last ten minutes. Most of the damage had been limited to the main floor, though there was a gaping hole in the hardwood on the other side of my bed that looked suspiciously shaped like Emmett. Smoke was pouring liberally through it, so I knew we had to hurry.

"Alice did a pretty good job of replicating it in Forks," she noted. "She skipped the bad eighties band posters, though. That might have been for the best. Did you really like Def Leppard that much?"

I smiled, enjoying the levity of the situation. It was nice to smile after what had seemed like a lifetime of unpleasantness.

"They were cool," I defended. "_Love Bites_. It's fitting, don't you think?"

She giggled. I laughed too. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. Like with everything else concerning Bella, I hadn't realized exactly how much I had missed her laughter until it was returned.

"That wasn't why I brought you up here. I promised to show you some things."

I grabbed a shoe box from inside my closet that contained all my most important keepsakes. There was nothing else in this house I cared to preserve but the items in that box were sacred to me.

I snatched the bedspread off of my bed, wrapping Bella in it. It was an awkward task given that I refused to let her stand on her own feet but I didn't care. Awkward was a small price to pay for having her in my arms again after more than a month of absence.

It was freezing outside and she was wearing only an oversized jacket that seemed to have belonged to Jacob at one point if the odor was any indication. The part of me that wanted to tear him limb from limb for putting his clothes on her was overruled, very slightly, by gratitude that he had the insight to keep her warm.

I was exceedingly aware that the smoke was growing thick in the room. I didn't bother me but it couldn't be good for Bella. I encouraged her to cover her face with the blanket.

Giving Bella the shoebox to hold, I kicked out the lone window in the room. I jumped through the gap I'd created, landing softly in the snow two stories below.

Alice was at my side in an instant. She shoved my shoulder.

"I swear! You and Bella are made for one another. You're equally reckless and have absolutely no regard for your own safety. I thought you'd be more careful with Bella's life on the line. You know humans can die from smoke inhalation, don't you?"

"I got her a blanket," I said defensively. "We were only up there for a couple minutes."

"I'm fine, Alice," Bella added, shooting Alice a scowl. It seemed she was feeling just as protective of me as I was of her. "Edward just wanted to get some stuff from his room." She held up the box I'd given her to hold.

Jacob grinned at us from behind Alice. He was so much taller than she was that he peered at us right over her head.

His thoughts were filled with relief, and surprisingly, a sense of camaraderie. Fighting alongside the Cullens had made him realize that perhaps not all vampires were monsters.

"You just couldn't help yourself, could you?" he asked Bella, shaking his head. "It wasn't enough to mess about with two nutso vampires. You saw a fire and had to see how close you could come to getting yourself killed…"

"Thank god I've got the ability to see whether or not the two of you are _actually_ going to end up killing yourselves with all the stupid things you do," Alice snapped.

"Well, _I_ thought it was a cool way to make an entrance," Emmett chimed in, beaming ear-to-ear. "Very John McClane of you."

He swept an arm in front of him as if envisioning a scene in a movie. "I mean, think about it, a man is kept as a prisoner in a basement for weeks. He escapes just as the house is about to burn to the ground… what better way to make a statement about how tough he is than to bust out of a second story window?"

Alice turned her aggression on Emmett, hitting him. "Don't encourage him."

"It would have been even better if your shirt had been on fire," Emmett added, ignoring Alice, a massive grin creeping onto his face. His thoughts confirmed he was enjoying being the subject of her wrath.

"Can't you be a normal person and just tell Edward you'd missed him?" she suggested.

Emmett frowned, thinking about how he didn't need to because I could read his thoughts so I already knew. Memories of the last month flashed by in quick succession, a blanket of somberness shrouding them all. I was touched he cared so much.

"But that wouldn't annoy you." He erupted into a grin when she rolled her eyes.

The others gathered in a circle around us, having tied up all the loose ends in the house. I studied each of the faces that surrounded me. There was Alice and Emmett. Jacob. Carlisle and Esme. Jasper. All of them had come because they wanted to help me.

Even Rosalie. She was standing slightly behind the others, her arms crossed protectively. I knew it wasn't because she was cold. She glanced up at Emmett often, her thoughts full of admiration for the way he'd stepped in to help Jacob tear apart James with absolutely no hesitation. She liked that he was willing to protect family at any cost. I was startled to find she now considered me a part of her family.

They all took turns coming up to examine me, unnecessary though it was. Now that my leg was where it belonged, I was as fine as I'd ever been. Esme was particularly adamant. She gave me a tight hug and insisted upon checking that I'd sealed the wound properly.

Each of them had something to say about how happy they were that I was okay or how strange it had been in Forks without my presence. I was touched by the genuine comments from all of them.

Even Jacob was friendly. I had expected condescension and attitude – he'd made it clear in the past that he thought I was an unsuitable choice for Bella. I wasn't sure that his opinion on that had changed but he wasn't outright disparaging, even though he must have noticed my red eyes. Maybe he appreciated there were worse things one could be than a vampire after his experiences with James and Victoria.

"I'm just glad I got to take a bite out of that fucker James," he had commented. He was extremely proud of that particular accomplishment. "I've been wanting to do that since the pack caught the two of them on the rez. And I got to be the first one in," he boasted. "Jasper thought it would help us take them down if I went in first to take advantage of the element of surprise."

"We've got to get going," Carlisle declared once everyone had had a chance to speak.

Sirens began to wail in the distance. One of the neighbours must have called to report the fire.

"We're all booked at the Hilton!" Carlisle yelled over the noise, offering a meeting point as everyone scrambled in different directions. Bella and I made up the sole pairing of two.

It wouldn't do to have a group as large as ours wandering down the street in such close proximity to the fiery house. Our footprints were all over because of the snow. There was no way we could deny involvement. We'd have to throw anyone searching for us off of the trail instead. It would be easier to do if we each led the investigators in a different direction.

"So, you ready to tell me how you ended up in Chicago?" I asked Bella as I sprinted down the street with her still tucked in my arms. "You said something about a woman in a casino?"

Her sheepish smile made me laugh. I wasn't sure I'd like her story but at least I had the benefit of knowing it came with a happy ending.

xx

"…It appears no one was home at the time of the fire. Arson is the suspected source of ignition. Neighbours saw several suspicious figures loitering outside the home earlier in the evening. No suspects have been apprehended as of yet. Chicago Police are optimistic a resolution will be reached, however. Chief Investigator Paul Blair tells us there are many leads yet to be followed and that the public will be kept up to date on any new developments. In the meantime, if you have any information, please call–"

I clicked off the hotel room's television, having heard everything that I needed to know. James and Victoria were gone forever. They would never threaten me or Bella again. I was surprisingly ambivalent to the news. There was no joy nor was there any grief. Just numbness tinged with relief.

Bella turned in my lap so she was facing me. She kissed the side of my face several times, offering her silent support. I soaked in her warmth, physical and emotional.

I still refused to let her leave my side. It was irrational and overprotective but I couldn't help it. Right now, having her near was as necessary to me as breathing was to her. She didn't complain, understanding how I felt without explanation.

"You okay?" she asked me, her hand lingering on my cheek.

I offered her a weak smile. "I'm fine. It's just been a rough few weeks. It's difficult to accept that it's really over… that they're gone… that I won't be separated from you again."

"They are. They can't hurt you any more." She paused to kiss me again. "And I'm not going anywhere. Ever."

"I know." I kissed her more deeply.

I stroked several strands of dark hair behind her ear. It was insane how much I had missed her. Now that she was here with me, my heart threatened to burst with the outpouring of love and longing that had accumulated.

Her fingers trailed softly under my eyes. "Did they make you drink human blood?"

Her tone was the furthest thing from judgmental but I froze anyway. I had hoped she wouldn't notice. The colour was starting to fade to black but it was apparent in certain light.

Her fingers pressed under my chin when my head dipped involuntarily. I wasn't trying to hide from her but I wasn't proud of my moment of weakness. I didn't especially want to talk about it. I lifted my head so my eyes met hers, hating that she would see the crimson hue that represented nothing but horror.

"Did you think I would be mad?"

I shook my head, knowing that was the answer she wanted, even though she had every right to be upset. I was a monster subsisting on the life of another person. I'd violated her trust by taking the life of another human, someone who could just as easily have been her. How could she stand to look at my eyes when they were tainted with blood?

"I'm not," she confirmed, her fingers trailing the edge of my jaw, though her eyes remained steadfast on mine. "I know you wouldn't have, if you'd had a choice. Remember when we met?"

She had to know I'd meticulously cataloged every single moment since the one I'd first laid eyes on her.

She continued before I could say a word. "Your eyes looked just like this. I thought they were gorgeous then. I don't know what I was thinking. Your eyes were meant to be gold. This… this will go away. You are not a bad person because of the things they did to you. I would never think any less of you because they forced you to do horrible things. You didn't have a choice."

Affection for her swelled. She knew exactly what to say; the things I hadn't known I needed to hear. She kissed me again. I reveled in the soft touch of her lips against mine. It was hard to believe I'd survived a month without her.

Her hand dragged through my hair as she deepened the kiss, pushing her body flush against mine. As much as I wanted her, as much as I was desperate to reconnect with her physically as we had emotionally, I didn't want it to be like this. Not when we both smelled of smoke and death, wearing the same clothes we'd been wearing during the lowest moments of my existence.

"Bella…"

She pulled away concerned, glancing down at my leg. "Am I hurting you? I thought you said everything was okay?"

I smiled, amused that she thought she had the strength to hurt me. "Not that. Could we take a shower?"

Perhaps it wasn't possible to wash away the memories but I could rid myself of all the physical reminders.

Bella's eyes lit in understanding. She took my hand and slid off my lap onto the bed next to me. She jumped back immediately, looking down at the spot she had nearly sat on. She lifted the not quite crushed the shoe box that we had abandoned on the bed.

She held it out to me. "I almost forgot about this. You said there was something in it that you wanted to show me?"

"Remember how I told you my mother had two pictures of me?" I gestured to the box. "Well, they're both in there. Along with a few other keepsakes."

Bella's eyes lit with excitement. The lid was off the box before I could even begin to explain.

"Photography wasn't particularly accessible when I was born, but my parents were well off enough to afford a few luxuries. The pictures in there among them. It was a little more commonplace by the time I was a teenager but I wasn't fond of cameras."

Bella lifted the aged photos from the box as though they were delicate treasures. They were yellowed and faded but she didn't seem to mind. She stared at the photo on top – one dated 1903 in my mother's elegant script – for several seconds, fascinated. It was nothing special – just a black and white print of me, aged two, sitting in a chair. I was so small my legs didn't extend past the seat of the chair.

Bella regarded me with watery eyes. "Thank you for sharing this with me. You were ridiculously beautiful, even as a baby. Look at that blond hair… and those huge eyes. How many times did you get hit with the pretty stick when you were born, exactly?"

She flipped to the second photo, which skipped forward more than a decade. In it, I was sixteen, attending prom with one of the girls that lived in my neighbourhood… I didn't remember much about it. It had to have been her prom because I knew I had never attended my own.

The two of us were standing stiffly side by side, forced smiles for the camera on our faces. My mother's caption of the photo simply read 'Edward and Joanna, prom.' If it hadn't been for that caption, I wouldn't have known the girl's name.

Bella stared at the photo for longer than the first one. "You haven't changed too much," she said quietly. "Your cheeks were a little rounder and your eyes were different, but you still look like _my_ Edward."

She continued to gaze at the photo so I knew she had more to say. "Joanna is pretty," she commented eventually, her tone far too breezy to be taken at face value.

I kissed her forehead, understanding her silence now. I almost cracked a smile, enjoying that she was just as irrationally jealous and possessive of me as I was of her.

"Not as pretty as someone else I know."

Bella's cheeks darkened and she shrugged noncommittally. She was quick to change the subject. "Did you like her?"

"She was just a neighbourhood girl who asked me to accompany her to her school prom. I don't remember anything about the evening to be perfectly honest. It couldn't have been too memorable."

Bella leaned her head on my shoulder, reassured. I wrapped my arm around her as she continued to riffle through the contents of the box, unearthing various items from my past.

My parents' wedding photograph. She examined it closely, pointing out that I had my mother's colouring and my father's features.

Ticket stubs from White Sox games I had attended with my father. The last was dated only a few months before the influenza had blown through the city, taking his life with it.

A scrap of blue silk that had once been a part of my mother's favourite Sunday dress. Moths had gotten to the dress long ago but I couldn't bear to throw it out entirely.

A badge I'd earned in grade school for perfect attendance. At age eight, it had been my proudest accomplishment. My mother had been so pleased when I'd brought it home. The memory of her wide smile was cloudy but most certainly present.

A neatly folded handkerchief that my grandmother had embroidered with my name. I'd carried with me all through high school, proud to share my father's name.

An ancient well-worn teddy bear who starred in my oldest human memories. He was missing an eye and his fur was scuffed and matted in places but fondness he stirred in me was untarnished.

A recipe for sugar cookies my mother had made every Christmas when I was a child. I had wholeheartedly believed they were the best ever made until I couldn't eat them any longer.

Several sheets of music with notes scrawled and scratched out again in my messy teenaged handwriting. Relics of the few songs I'd composed on my parents' piano.

I explained the significance of every item in the keepsake box. Bella listened patiently, ever hungry for more knowledge. She absorbed information like a sponge, even if it was about something as dull as my life as a human.

Once the box was emptied, Bella held up the last item in it, examining it carefully.

"A necklace?" she observed, holding the glittering diamond up to the light. It sparkled proudly.

"It was my father's engagement gift to my mother," I explained, fingering the heart-shaped gem. "They got married in 1899, before it was common to for a man to give his betrothed a diamond ring. From the moment he placed it around her neck until she took her last breaths, she never took it off. I always thought that someday I'd give it to my mate as a symbol of my devotion to her."

Bella looked at me with wide eyes, understanding my intention. "Edward, it was your mother's," she protested, trying to hand it to me. "I couldn't take it."

I shushed her, refusing to accept the bauble. "Nothing is going to change how I feel about you. Someday it will be yours. You're my mate for now and the rest of eternity, whether you like it or not."

"I like it. A lot," she admitted. "But that doesn't mean you need to give me things. Knowing that you chose me… that you love me, that's all that I need."

I kissed her neck, trailing my fingers down her arms. She shivered.

"I want to give you more than simply what you need. I want to give you everything you've ever dreamed of and perhaps a few things you haven't. It's just a necklace. My mother would have wanted you to have it."

She shot me a dirty look. "That's low, playing the 'my dead mother would have wanted it' card."

I shrugged, not caring as long as she let me give her the necklace. I wanted her to have a symbol of my love to carry with her, always.

"It's the truth. My mother was a hopeless romantic. You already know what kind of books she read. She had the exact same taste in literature as you. She would have adored you almost as much as I do."

"You make it really hard for a girl to say no, you know," she told me, allowing me to clasp the charm around her neck. Her fingers felt at the base of her throat for the stone once it was settled. "How does it look?"

"Gorgeous," I said, tenderly pressing my lips first to her collarbone, then her lips.

She pulled away to meet my eyes after several long moments, her fingers curled in my hair. "Are you ready for that shower, now?" she asked breathlessly.

My stomach flipped at the unintentionally erotic whisper. "Yes."

"We don't have to worry about my cast this time," she told me with a secret smile, holding up her naked arm. "Dr. Cullen removed it a week ago."

We were in the bathroom in a flash, our clothing discarded just as quickly.

Bella turned the knobs on the shower. As steam began to fill the room she tugged my hand – I still refused to let go of her completely – pulling me into the wet heat.

We stood under the spray, holding one another's naked forms, letting the water wash away the stresses of the day. After a couple minutes Bella was nearly boneless against me. I was supporting most of her weight, not that I minded.

"Are you tired, love?"

Her head bobbed against my chest, her eyes closed restfully. "I haven't been sleeping well. I couldn't sleep, not knowing where you were."

I lathered her body leisurely, not wanting to jolt her from her relaxed state. As much as I wanted to make love to her, I would be content holding her tonight.

The shampoo the hotel supplied made her hair soft and shiny though it didn't smell right. Still, it was infinitely better than the horrid smoky smell that preceded it.

Despite my protests that I didn't want her to soap up her scraped hands, Bella insisted on washing me, too. She was extremely through. I squirmed under her soft touches, continually reminding myself that tonight was for chaste thoughts only.

Bella seemed not to notice my struggle to keep my amorous thoughts under control. Her fingers found my most sensitive spots with ease. When her fingers curled sensuously into the curve at the base of my neck, a spot she knew was one of my most erogenous areas, I realized she was doing it on purpose.

"I thought you were tired," I reminded her, willing her to stop torturing me if we couldn't follow through. If she wound me up any further, I wouldn't be able to help myself.

"I am," she agreed. "But I've missed you. It's been a month, Edward. I don't care how tired I am. I need you."

I groaned aloud. "Thank god," I muttered. "I need you so badly it hurts. I–" The end to that thought flew out the window as her soft, soapy hand gripped me tightly, stroking with practiced movements. "Bella…"

"Yeah?"

"Come here."

I gripped her hips, gently lifting her and encouraging her to wrap her legs around my waist. I leaned back against the wall, not trusting myself to press her against it. My desire for her was coiled so tightly, I could easily hurt her with an errant thrust.

Together we guided our bodies into position. We hummed in shared pleasure as she sunk on to me. I stilled, allowing my body the chance to acclimate. After more than a month away from her, I felt inexperienced all over again. I knew that would dissipate as soon as we began to move. We'd always joined together with ease, even from the very beginning.

"Oh," she moaned, when I felt composed enough to rock her body against mine.

I kept my movements gentle, hoping to stave off orgasm. We were so desperate, it didn't seem either of us would last long.

"I can't believe it's been more than a month," she hummed, meeting my rhythmic movements with her own. "Never again."

"Never," I agreed, holding her hips more tightly, increasing the friction between our bodies as we both drew closer to the edge of bliss.

We were strung so tightly it didn't take long for either of us to topple into climax. The simple stimulation of our bodies moving together was enough to push us over the edge within minutes.

Bella tucked her damp face into the crook of my neck, trailing kisses along my neck. "That was perfect," she purred, her satisfaction written all over her languid movements.

I stroked her wet hair. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

xx

Bella sighed, arching into me lethargically. I tucked my head against the top of hers, enjoying resting with her while she slept. Her soft sleeping breaths against my bare chest warmed me from the inside out.

The deep breaths that marked her restful state were fading, so I knew she was awakening. I stroked her soft, riotous hair.

"What time is it?" she asked, eventually, her eyes blinking into the morning sunlight streaming through the crack between the curtains.

"Eleven," I told her, kissing the top of her head. "You were out for twelve hours."

She shot up in bed, pulling the blankets with her. "Geez, you could have woken me up, you know," she grumbled.

"You needed your sleep. You told me yourself that you hadn't been sleeping very well," I reasoned. "Besides, it's not like our presence was missed. The others have all been enjoying their own alone time." I arched an eyebrow. "It's to be expected. Conflict has that effect on vampires. It tends to make us… amorous. Well, except Jacob. Though to be fair, he did chat up a pretty blonde waitress over his continental breakfast."

Bella's eyes widened with recognition. "Wait… Rosalie and Emmett, too?"

I cracked a huge grin. "It seems Rosalie couldn't resist him any longer. Yesterday she was really impressed with his devotion to her family. And his muscles," I snickered, recalling her lustful scrutiny of his biceps as they flexed with the force of tearing apart James. "They spent a couple hours last night talking and came to an understanding. Emmett apologized properly, finally. They're going to try to make it work."

"They're going to make it," Bella insisted. "He loves her in his crazy Emmett way. And I'm pretty sure she loves him, too. So does this mean they're bonded now?"

I shook my head. "Not yet, from what I can tell. They don't regard one another in quite the same way that Alice and Jasper or Esme and Carlisle do, yet. Alice sees it happening in the near future, though."

Bella hugged me, her massive grin warming my heart. "That's so awesome. I can't believe it took them this long."

"I know," I agreed. "It was long overdue."

I climbed out of bed, retrieving the neat stacks of clothing Alice had dropped off in the sitting room of the suite earlier in the morning while Bella was still asleep.

"The others are planning to head back to Washington this afternoon. They've booked their flights out already," I told her, sitting on the edge of the bed, offering her the trendy pair of jeans and cardigan that Alice had picked out for her. "Alice thought that you might want to visit your mother for Christmas, so we're on our own. She said it's going to be cloudy in Florida this week, so it would be a good opportunity if you wanted to go. If we leave soon, we can make it there before the end of the day."

Bella grinned, her smile growing to the point it seemed poised to split her head in two. "You want to meet my mother?" Her tone grew doubtful. "I mean, even after all the sex talk and stuff?"

I kissed the top of her head and shrugged. I still didn't understand why she was so bothered by her mother's concern for her; Renee merely wanted her to be happy. "I would be honoured to meet the woman who brought you into this world."

"Okay," she agreed, hugging me, her beaming smile turning grateful. "Let's go spend Christmas with my mom."

xx

_The next chapter shouldn't be too far off. This chapter was originally supposed to cover their trip to visit Renee but for some inexplicable reason I started writing it in BPOV, even though the rest of the chapter is EPOV. That's what happens when you take an unexpected hiatus in the middle of a chapter. The good news is it means the next chapter is half done._


	40. Merry

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Forty; Merry_

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN: **__This is about as mush-filled and silly as it gets. Hope you enjoy it :) This is the second from last regular chapter. After that it's the epilogue and we're done… can you believe it?_

xx

I knocked on the door of my mother's bungalow. Edward was a couple paces behind me, loaded down with the assortment of gifts that Alice had insisted we bring my mom and Phil. While I had slept in, she'd been busy terrorizing the stores of Chicago, the day before Christmas Eve, no less.

I was just glad that she had been the one to brave the bustling shops. On a good day I hated crowded shopping malls and I was still drained from the previous day's events. Even after lounging in bed with Edward and spending half a day passed out, I still had some recuperating to do.

Spending more than a month sick with worry and topping the experience off with a brush with death did that to people, I supposed. I didn't think I had the energy to face the wrath of agitated last minute shoppers too. Alice assured us that my mother and her husband would adore the gifts she had chosen and I was content to believe her.

She was a godsend, arranging everything so Edward and I would arrive in Jacksonville before sunset. After saying goodbyes to the others and offering Jake and Alice overdue apologies, Edward and I took off for O'Hare, loaded down with suitcases Alice had the foresight to fill with all the clothes we would need for the weeklong stay with my mom. It was a wonder someone so tiny had been able to drag that much crap through the mall.

I'd slept through most of the flight, leaning on Edward's shoulder, satisfied to have him next to me once again. It was crazy how much I had missed him, how a part of me ached with happiness, knowing he would still be there when I woke. All too soon we touched down in the sunshine state and were catching a cab to my mother's little beach-front home.

I knocked on the door again, eager to see her after having only the phone to communicate through for months. She opened the door with a flourish I recognized from having spent most of my childhood with her. A bright smile dashed across her face at the sight of me.

"Bella!" She gripped me in a tight hug. "Hey baby! What are you doing here? I wasn't expecting you. Was I? Did Phil forget–"

I stopped her before she could blame Phil for forgetting to remind her I'd been coming.

"We just decided to come visit today," I told her sheepishly, returning her hug just as tightly. "There were some last minute deals going cheap and it's been a while since I've seen you… I missed you. I hope you don't mind."

"We?" My mother brightened as she caught on that I wasn't alone.

Her eyes fell on Edward who was mostly hidden behind our newly acquired belongings.

"Oh, you brought Edward!" She ducked past me, beaming at him like he'd laid the stars in the sky. "How lovely! Phil! Get out here! It's Bella and she brought Edward!"

She took an armful of immaculately wrapped gifts from Edward, talking over her shoulder as she dragged us into the kitchen. She discarded the gifts on the table, turning to divest Edward of our suitcases too. She abandoned them unceremoniously in a corner, using her freed arms to embrace a stunned Edward. He returned her hug with a tentative smile, unsure how to respond to the whirlwind that was my mother.

"Look at you," she gushed, pushing him to arms length to examine him with shrewd eyes. "So adorable. My daughter wasn't lying when she said you were really cute." She winked at me.

I flushed, embarrassed for Edward more than myself. Edward had heard every word of every conversation I'd had with her since we'd been dating. He was usually in the room when I spoke with her, so he knew very well what I'd told her. It was another thing to hear the words directly from my mother.

"Mom." I shot her a harsh stare.

"I'm just saying," she trilled, waving off my scowl. "Oh, the two of you are going to make absolutely gorgeous children." Her eyes turned stern, bouncing between us. "Someday, of course. I'm much too young to be a grandmother. The two of you have been using protection, haven't you?"

Edward seemed unaffected by the intrusive line of questioning but my cheeks threatened to combust, their temperature rising exponentially. The truth was, we hadn't been, but for reasons Renee would never guess, it was unnecessary.

Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulders and kissed my hair before giving my mother his heart-stopping grin. "I assure you, Renee, Bella and I have no plans to have children anytime in the near future."

I released a breath at the diplomatic answer. That told Renee nothing about our sex life, thank god. Renee looked torn between disappointment and relief. Then she gasped, her fingers rising to touch my collarbone.

I looked down, confused, until I realized she had spotted the necklace Edward had given me. "Oh. This is pretty. Is it real?"

I shrugged, deferring to Edward. I didn't know much about it, other than that it had been his mother's engagement gift. He nodded, gracing her with a shy smile. "It's an old family heirloom. I'm an only child, so I gave it to Bella as an early Christmas gift."

My mother held a hand to her heart. "That's just the sweetest thing." She turned to me coyly. "I bet the next piece of jewelry he gives you will be–"

"Mom!" I cut her off before she could even begin to process that thought. Sure, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life – and all eternity – with Edward but I was still only 18. I felt much too young to contemplate the "W" word much less the "M" word. I wasn't ruling it out, rather I thought it was something to consider more seriously a few years down the road.

Phil peeked hesitantly around the archway that led to the living room. "Is the squealing done? Is it safe to come out?"

"Just get in here, Philip," my mother said playfully.

I waved him in, glad to have a buffer from my mother's well-meaning but unsolicited meddling in my relationship.

He grinned, stepping into the room. He stopped to peck my mother on the cheek as he passed her, wrapping me in a paternal hug.

"Nice to see you again, Bella." He glanced at Edward over my shoulder. "You gonna introduce me to your boyfriend?"

I rolled my eyes at the look akin to fatherly protectiveness that glazed his expression. I got enough of that from Charlie. I didn't need two overprotective dads fretting about what went on between me and my boyfriend. Phil had to have heard enough from Renee to know how serious Edward and I were about one another.

"Phil, this is Edward," I introduced, leaning to kiss Edward on the cheek for keeping his cool despite my wacky family. I couldn't even begin to imagine what kind of thoughts were infiltrating his head right now. "Edward, this is my stepdad Phil."

They shook hands congenially. "It's a pleasure to meet you both," Edward gave them his GQ model grin, charming my mother in person just as he had over the phone. "Bella talks about you so much I feel as though I know you."

Phil squeezed my shoulder. "I hope Bella hasn't been gossiping too much," he teased.

I nudged Phil jokingly. "You know me. Bella the gossip. I told him all about the time you dropped the ball in the tenth inning of the semi-finals and lost the game for the team and everything."

Phil winced at the reminder. "And I was about to tell you I missed your cooking. I think I'm starting to remember why I was so relieved when you left."

My mother rolled her eyes. "If the two of you are about done being silly, we have a guest to entertain." She turned soft eyes to Edward, already under his spell. Not that I could blame her. He was pretty perfect in every imaginable way.

Phil jerked a finger in the direction of French doors that led outside to the even smaller bungalow that served as a guest house. "Should I set up both the guest rooms for them?"

My mom winked at us. "One should be fine, I think."

I wove my fingers with Edward's, surprised to find I wasn't as embarrassed by the thought that my mother knew I would be sleeping in a bed with Edward as I once would have been. Maybe I was growing up. Or perhaps I was finally starting to become immune to her mortifying openness in all aspects of life.

Phil glanced between the three of us, slightly scandalized. At my mother's loaded look, he shrugged and grabbed our luggage, heading outside.

"Well, this changes our plans," Renee confessed. "Phil and I were planning to leave for Disney World tomorrow. He got me tickets for Christmas. You know how much I love fireworks."

"We should have phoned ahead," I said, remorseful that I was intruding upon her plans, though I knew it would have been impossible to warn her any sooner than this morning. Less than 24 hours ago my life had been in shambles, not yet reassembled. Still, I didn't want her to go out of her way to accommodate us.

"Don't let us spoil your Christmas plans. I can entertain Edward here in Jacksonville. There's plenty for us to do. We'll see you when you get back. We don't have to be back in Washington until January."

Renee shook her head. "Don't be ridiculous. You and Edward should come with us. You remember how much you used to love Disney World?" she asked me fondly. "You would ride the spinning teacups over and over… I still have those old polaroids of you dressed up as Minnie Mouse. Oh, Edward, you have to see them. They're the cutest thing."

She disappeared into the next room, returning with a photo box in hand. She flipped through it, locating the one she had mentioned, holding it out to Edward who took it with a smile.

"See? What did I tell you? Cute, right?" She handed the box to Edward. "The two of you should look through the rest of these. There's some good ones from when we went to Grandpa's cabin in Phoenix. The one of you stuck in the intertube is in there."

"Great, thanks," I said, sarcasm seeping into my tone. Ten minutes into our visit and already my mom had thrust a boxful of embarrassing family keepsakes on my boyfriend.

"Oh, don't be so sour, baby. Edward loves you. He'll get a laugh out of them. I'm going to go talk to Phil about ordering those tickets. He knows all about Google and how to work all that internet ordering stuff."

"Mom," I tried to get her attention, not wanting her to go out of her way to include us, but my energetic mother was past listening. She was already halfway out the door, calling for Phil.

Edward chuckled from the vicinity of the kitchen table, still perusing my mother's photo box. I glanced at him dispassionately.

"Isn't it enough you saw the photo album I have in my room?"

Edward shook his head, playful. "No. I'm a sponge for everything Bella. And this is prime material." He held up a photo – the one that Renee had mentioned – of me in a frilly purple bathing suit, stuck in an intertube.

I groaned and buried my face in his shoulder. When he pulled my chin up so he could drop a kiss on the corner of my mouth, I couldn't help but smile at him.

"So… have you ever been to Disney World before?"

xx

"Aw, come on, we're at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. What's your problem?" I nudged Edward who appeared to be pouting, for no good reason as far as I could discern.

He shook his head as if to clear it and offered me a lopsided smile. "Nothing, I am happy. I'm with you. I'm just trying to figure out the appeal."

"What do you mean?" I glanced around as we walked down Main Street; the bright, colourful atmosphere was perpetually cheerful. What was there not to like? "This is awesome!"

"Strapping yourself into death-defying mechanisms and being tossed around like you're in a washing machine after eating loads of junk food is fun?" He glared at Space Mountain off in the distance.

"Um, yeah! What did Space Mountain ever do to you? Come on, you can't tell me you're not having any fun."

"I didn't say that," he grinned at me, the little black raincloud that had been chasing him dissipating. "I'm simply worried that you might puke on me if we ride another. You did eat two soft pretzels and a half a bag of cotton candy." He held up what remained of the bag, an eyebrow raised.

"Please," I shrugged it off, "you ain't seen nothing yet." I pointed where he'd been glaring at moments ago. "Let's ride Space Mountain again! We've got a couple of hours before we have to meet up with my mom and Phil."

Edward looked doubtful. "We've already been on it twice, Bella."

"So?"

"Do you want to give me a heart attack? Because that's what's going to happen. Having to stand by idly as these rickety machines that masquerade as 'fun' toss you around like a ragdoll… you could get hurt."

Edward looked miffed when I burst into a fit of giggles. I didn't bother responding to the nonsense about a vampire having a heart attack. "Is that what all the pouting has been about? You're worried about my safety?"

He shifted uncomfortably, recognizing he was caught and gave a bashful shrug. "You're my mate. I don't want you to be in a position where I could lose you."

"You're not going to lose me. There's tons of safety codes and restrictions in place. If there was a chance that anyone who was following the rules could get hurt, the park wouldn't still be open. They're safer than the car we were in on the way here, trust me."

He enfolded me in his arms, holding me tightly. He must have been more affected by our near miss with James and Victoria than I realized. Then again, he had no experience with theme parks as I knew them, so maybe he really was worried. I hugged him back, wanting to give him the reassurance he needed.

"Promise?"

I stroked his cheek, standing on my toes so I could kiss him lightly. "I promise," I vowed. "If I thought there was a chance that either one of us would get hurt, I wouldn't do it."

"Sure you wouldn't," he teased. I was glad to see the lightness had returned to his eyes. They were a muddy hazel colour, caught between amber and what remained of the burgundy. "Because you've been known to turn and run when confronted with danger."

"This is different," I insisted, hauling him in the opposite direction (we had been heading straight for Space Mountain) leading him to the relative safety on the other side of the park. "Come on, I think you might need a break from the big boy rides. It's been a while since I've been on 'it's a small world.'"

"Like the song?" he asked, letting me drag him down the bustling streets of downtown Disney.

I nodded, finding it endearing how little he knew about the place where I'd spent countless hours as a child. Everyone of my generation knew the ins and outs of Disney by the time they were ten.

"Exactly like the song. Except it's set to a boat ride and it's kind of dark. People have been known to make out on it."

He nodded thoughtfully, the tempo of his stride increasing. "I suppose I could get on board with that."

I squeezed his hand. "I thought you might."

xx

"Did the two of you have fun?" Renee asked, as we all huddled around Cinderella's Castle. The spotlights that shone on it cast it in a dreamy purple glow. We were waiting for the fireworks to start. My mother was aglow as much as the castle.

I nodded from my vantage point wrapped in Edward's arms. Without the sun overhead there was a slight briskness to the air, through with the snow and slush of Forks as the alternative, it was pure heaven.

After his minor freak out about the safety of Disney's more adventurous rides, we'd had a fun lazy afternoon, taking on many of the park's more lethargic rides. It was a perfect counter to the stress of the last week and I found it was exactly what I needed, even though I tended to prefer rollercoasters. Getting to second base on "it's a small world," before we'd had to quit it or risk getting kicked out had helped put Edward in a better mood, too, if the indolent smiles were any indication.

"It's been a great day. Thank you so much for inviting us along, Renee," Edward added.

"He's never been to Disney World before," I told my mother, who seemed horrified by this revelation.

"What about Disneyland?" She asked, certain there had to be a loophole.

I shook my head. "Nope. Neither. This is his Disney cherry being popped right here," I teased, realizing a moment too late what I had said and the floodgates it would unleash.

To my astonishment, Renee ignored the blatant sexual innuendo, patting Edward on the shoulder as if his puppy had just died. Apparently consoling Edward for the misfortunes of his childhood outweighed an opportunity to grill us about our personal lives.

"You poor thing. Your parents really dropped the ball on that one, I'm sorry to say. Though I suppose you did say you grew up in Chicago… still, no, that's no excuse."

Edward smiled obligingly. "I'm glad that I could share my first visit with Bella. She seems to know the park inside and out. It's made for a very enjoyable trip so far."

"We used to come up every summer. Bella would always write out an itinerary for us. Every ride had a timeslot, including estimated wait times based on popularity," Renee smiled at me fondly as she reminisced. It seemed so long ago now, though my mother's young-at-heart mentality remained the same.

Phil chuckled. "That sounds like the Bella we know and love. It seems she's loosened up over the years."

A flush rose up my neck as the memory came rushing back with the force of a sledgehammer. I must have blocked out my anal childhood habits. Even as a kid I'd insisted on being the parent in our mother-daughter relationship.

"You remember that?"

"Of course, baby. Grandma Higginbotham had an excellent memory and so do I. I remember everything that matters and those summers were some of the best of my life."

It seemed strange to me that someone as absent-minded and flighty as my mother could claim to have an excellent memory, but then, maybe she had a point when she said she remembered everything that mattered. Hanging onto the details concerning mundane, everyday tasks was unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

"It's starting." Phil pointed to the sky, where the bursts of colour were beginning to appear, claps echoing across the park.

My mom turned to sky, engrossed. She was wrapped up in Phil's arms, just as I was in Edward's. It made my heart clench to know that she was the same happy, effervescent person I had always known and that her marriage to Phil was all that it had promised to be.

"They seem happy," Edward noted, his head ducked low against mine so he could whisper in my ear.

"They do," I agreed, my eyes on the colours blossoming in the sky. "I hope we're always as happy as they seem to be."

His arms tightened around my middle. "We will be. I'll do everything in my power to ensure we are."

I glanced at him, surprised to see his eyes weren't on the sky but on me. "Is the magic of fireworks lost to vampires?" It made me sad to think he might be unable to appreciate their beauty.

He shook his head, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Not at all. I have no basis for comparison but I'd guess they're even more beautiful. Colours are brighter and more luminous to us, and against the backdrop of all the stars and planets in the sky, they're really gorgeous."

"So what are you looking at me for, then?" I teased.

His grin widened and he pulled me closer still. "Guess."

xx

"Wow, this place is so… fancy," I observed, unable to find another adequate word to describe the room.

From the moment we stepped foot in the lobby of the resort it was as if we'd travelled through a portal into the past. It was all Victorian all the time. Rich velvets, lush patterns and ornately sculpted wood in warm finishes were everywhere. Calling it elaborate was an understatement. The concierge and the bellboys were dressed in period costumes. Even the elevators seemed a hundred years old. It was only us in our modern dress that seemed misplaced.

All the furnishings had a distinct Victorian luxury, too. It hardly screamed 'Disney,' though it did scream 'Renee.' I understood immediately how the over the top theme would appeal to my mother's dramatic side. I had a feeling Edward would be right at home, too. I hadn't paid much attention to the details of his parents' home as I'd been dragged through it – I'd had other more important issues on my mind – but it seemed like an echo of what I could recall.

"It's like we've stepped back in time a century."

Edward glanced around us with a critical eye. "In some ways." He flashed our key card with a wry smile. "In others not."

"What do you think? Does it remind you of when you were a kid at all?"

He shook his head, an eyebrow raising in challenge. "Hardly. Despite what you may think I'm not that old. I wasn't yet born when the Victorian Era came to a close. I was born in the Edwardian Era."

"Oh, so you think you're special enough to have a whole era named after you?" I straightened my face into the picture of befuddlement, not wanting to give away my teasing. I knew perfectly well what he meant, but it was more fun to rile him up. "It doesn't work like that, Edward."

Edward rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation. "It's named for _King Edward_, Bella."

"Oh so now you think you're a king?" I said playfully, unable to keep the mirth from spreading to my eyes. Edward's eyes lit with understanding, recognizing that I was playing with him. His eyes darkened and he stalked toward me, his expression unreadable.

I blinked and I was laying flat against the cushiony bed, Edward hovering over me like the predator he was. I was suddenly very glad the only room available in the resort on such short notice was several floors away from my mother and Phil's.

"You think you're funny?"

Grinning, I nodded and attempted to pull him down on top of me but he refused to let our bodies touch. "Did you really think I didn't know when the Victorian Era ended? I mean, I got a 98 in history. And you never answered my question… do you like the room?"

Edward flopped down on the bed next to me, still a good distance away. Too far. I twisted to face him, scooting closer. "It's lovely. Though I'm not one for nostalgia where furniture is concerned. I much prefer clean, modern lines. This is much more my parents' aesthetic than mine."

I dragged a hand through his hair gently. The humming sounds that sounded so much like purrs gently rumbled the bed. "I still learn something new about you every day."

His eyes shone brightly. "It's the same for me, you know. As soon as I think I can predict how you're going to react to any given situation, you turn around and do something completely unexpected. One thing is a constant, though… your aversion to gifts. Unfortunate, since it's Christmas," he said sourly. The clock on the nightstand revealed he was right. It was two minutes past midnight on Christmas day.

He disliked being denied the opportunity to give me something without risk of (much) complaint, though we had both agreed because of the timing that we'd nix this year's exchange.

I shrugged. "It doesn't really matter does it? It's not like either of us had the opportunity to go out and buy gifts. We've had a lot going on. Speaking of buying stuff, there's something I've been meaning to apologize about…"

Edward's eyes tightened, worry lining them. "What is it?"

"Um, well you know how I told you I came to Chicago at the last minute? Well, um, I kind of used your credit card to pay for my ticket. And Jake's, since he insisted on coming with me. And well, with the last minute fees and stuff… it was ridiculously expensive. I'm sorry. I'll pay it back, I promise," I added guiltily.

Edward chuckled. "That's all? You got me concerned over a little bit of money? Bella, how many times do I have to tell you what's mine is yours? I know it's a foreign concept to humans, but I don't need legally binding ties to share everything I have with you. I don't know how to make you see how little money is worth to me, especially in comparison to you."

I shrugged. "I know. I'm sorry that you think I'm being stubborn about this but if I just let you give me a free ride on everything, I wouldn't feel right about it."

Edward growled softly at my refusal to understand his way of thinking. "Do you think it's unfair for divorced women to retain a share of their spouses' fortunes?"

I thought about it a moment. That was different. People who built lives together deserved to share any profits of their time together. Unlike Edward and I who were balanced precariously on a very uneven see-saw. From the very beginning he brought much more to the table than I had. It wasn't like I'd had any role in supporting him while he had amassed what he had.

"No…"

"Well, this is no different. Our lives are bound now. I've trusted you with my heart and soul and the rest of my life on earth. Those are the true things of value I have to offer and you already own them all. Everything else is unimportant."

"I hope it's a little different," I joked, "since I don't plan on divorcing you."

Edward's eyes sparkled at the allusion to us being married. "You'd have to marry me for that to be a possibility, Miss Swan. Until then I'll be patiently waiting… suffering the cold of loneliness."

I shoved him, but was unable to contain my giggle, amused by his doleful antics. "Shut up."

"If we're going to live together this summer forward, it might please your parents." His lips quirked into his I-know-how-persuasive-I-am half-grin.

"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled, ducking my head into his chest so he wouldn't see the blush that rose on my cheeks whenever he fixed me with that hopeful, adoring smile. "I'll think about it, okay?" I added on a more serious note.

He kissed the top of my head. "I suppose that will have to be good enough for now."

I tugged him closer to me, sick of the serious conversation and the distance between us. I claimed his lips with mine.

His hand skimmed over my bare leg, caressing most of the way up my thigh before he met cloth. All the clothing Alice had picked out consisted of shorts that were nearly indecent and tank tops. If it hadn't been for the pair of cardigans she'd included in the bag I might have felt naked walking around in public like that.

Edward seemed to enjoy his freer access to my skin, unaccustomed to seeing me in warm-weather clothing at all. More than once I'd had to stop him from groping me in public. As much as it didn't bother me, I was pretty sure Disney had rules against that and there was no way I'd live down the shame of getting kicked out of Disney World.

"These were crafted by the hands of evil," he told me, tugging on the button of my shorts. "Do you know how many teenagers I had to hear thinking about what you might look like without them on?" He shook his head as if to erase the thought. "23. Stupid children. I can't really blame them, you _are_ the sexiest creature that will ever grace their line of sight. But you're mine. Only mine."

I fisted his shirt in my hands. It was ridiculous how much I loved him telling me I was his. It might have worried me if I hadn't known he was just as much mine.

I pulled his face to mine, letting him feel how much I wanted him in my kiss.

We had a luxury room all to ourselves and I intended to make full use of it. The soft velvets scraping across my bare shoulders promised to add a new level of divine torture as Edward and I joined together. I could just imagine the lush feel of it on my naked skin as he moved inside of me.

Of course imagination was rendered unnecessary.

xx

"Come on," I urged, unsuccessfully trying to drag Edward toward the Tower of Terror.

After spending all of the previous day in the Magic Kingdom we were splitting our second day between what we'd missed of it and MGM-Studios. Once again, we'd split off from my mom and Phil who had an itinerary of their own.

"You expect me to go on a ride where you will be dropped 13 stories?" Edward whined, glancing at it balefully. "Can't we go back to the Magic Kingdom? You liked the ride with the elephant with the big ears… or 'it's a small world.' I liked that one." A sly smile stretched over his features.

I rolled my eyes. "I wonder why?"

His grin grew. "You seemed to enjoy it. So what's the big deal?"

"The big deal is you promised you'd be more open-minded," I reminded him. "You know I'm not going to get hurt, so man up and let's have some fun. We laid low yesterday. I'm not going on the kid rides again today because you're scared."

"I'm not scared," Edward insisted. "I'm merely… concerned. This park deems its engineers 'Imagineers,' Bella." He scoffed in derision. "Do they sound like professionals who care about maintaining pinnacle of safety? Can't we just go watch the spectacle of dancing lights? It only happens at Christmastime, you know. You won't get another chance…" he let the offer dangle in the air tantalizingly.

I laughed. "Stop making excuses and let's go!" I grabbed his hand again. This time he let me lead him toward the looming tower. He stared it down like one might a dueling opponent.

I stopped us in the middle of the busy street, wrapping my arms around his waist, forcing him to look at me. "Chill out, please. You're ruining my Disney buzz. If I have to kick your ass I'm not going to be very happy with you. So please, please, just relax so we can have some fun."

He mumbled incoherently for a moment. "Are you really not having fun?" he asked eventually. He seemed stricken by this realization.

"I would be if my boyfriend wasn't such a buzz kill." He shot me an affronted look. "Truth hurts," I teased.

"I'll try harder," he promised. This time it seemed he actually meant it. The creases of worry in his forehead smoothed somewhat and he donned his most charming smile, though I wasn't certain it was entirely sincere. He was trying, though.

This time when I led him to the Tower of Terror, he actually maintained his happy, if somewhat incredulous, disposition.

"I'll never understand humans. The sole purpose of this ride seems to be to frighten and terrify if the name is an indication. You screamed for two minutes straight on Space Mountain, yet insisted upon returning. I don't understand."

"Not all of us can run as fast as the wind. Some of us have to get our thrills in other ways. And you didn't seem to mind when I screamed last night," I said saucily, knowing bringing up sex was a sure way to distract him from his fears.

"That's different," he countered, a genuine smile taking the place of the manufactured one. "You weren't screaming in fear."

The rest of the day flashed by in a blur of rides and cheesy stage shows jam-packed with equally cheesy musical numbers. Edward made a genuine effort to have fun and let loose. I couldn't remember a time when I'd laughed so much.

He got into shooting laser beams with me on the Toy Story themed ride and proudly declared his numbers at the end, consoling me when he realized mine were less than half of his.

He didn't flinch when we rocketed down Splash Mountain. He actually laughed, getting a kick out of seeing me dripping wet. I laughed, too, happy to see him happy. Disney just wasn't the same thrill when I knew he was miserable.

He even insisted we ride Space Mountain again without a single derisive comment.

By the time the sun began its decent behind the horizon I was dead on my feet, tired from walking and standing in endless lines. Edward supported me, one arm splayed on the small of my back.

"See, what did I tell you? Fun, right?"

"Actually, yes." He kissed my head, seemingly surprised by this fact. "I'm sorry I was being such a buzz kill," he used the recycled word sardonically. "I really did have fun. There's just one more thing I have to do." He led me in the direction of one of the hundreds of Disney-themed shops on-site.

I stopped him before he could think about insisting 'we' eat. My stomach protested at the thought. "I'm not hungry. I ate way too much crap already. I think I'm actually craving vegetables to replace all the sugar."

Edward's eyes gleamed. He loved little more than a chance to ply me with healthy food.

"Don't even think about it. If I eat anything else I'll die. Even vegetables."

Edward shook his head primly, though the gleam was still very much present. "I wasn't planning on getting you food. That was your own suggestion. Don't blame me for what you were thinking. I can't read your mind."

He propped open the door to the store and ushered me inside. There was no food in sight. Just tons and tons of Disney merchandise. Anything that could have cartoon characters and the Disney logo emblazoned on it did and was in this building.

"We need to buy something," Edward insisted. "I heard some of the kids outside thinking about how souvenirs are an essential part of the Disney World experience. I don't want you to miss out." He gave me his most innocent look.

"We said no Christmas presents and that having one another was enough this year," I reminded him.

"Not a Christmas present, Bella," he corrected. "A souvenir. Weren't you listening to anything I said? It's merely a coincidence that today happens to be Christmas."

"Edward–"

"A souvenir, Bella." He pointed at a row of delicate crystal sculptures in the shape of various Disney characters. "Those would make lovely souvenirs, wouldn't they?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Not really my style. I don't really collect things like that. They would be wasted on me."

Edward continued on undeterred, walking straight past the T-shirts and pajama sets which I might have been able to write off as actual souvenirs, heading directly for the jewelry counter. I couldn't even pretend to hate jewelry. I wasn't the most feminine person out there but I did have a few cherished pieces I wore often and he knew it.

"How about that necklace," he pointed at a gorgeous sparkling rendition of Cinderella's Castle dangling from a platinum chain. I ignored the price tag not wanting to think about it.

I pointed at the necklace I was wearing. "I'm not taking this off. So no."

Edward grinned, touching the spot where his mother's heart-shaped pendant kissed my collarbone. "Okay, understandable."

His gaze was quickly diverted back to the display cases as he sought the perfect Christmas-gift-camouflaged-as-a-souvenir. It didn't take him long to find a charm bracelet with a mini-representation of Space Mountain as its crowning glory.

He glanced at me surreptitiously, already knowing with certainty that I would love it. I hated that he was right. He must have got the confirmation he was looking for because the salesclerk that had been hovering obnoxiously descended, praising his good taste and declaring what a 'lucky lady' I was as she wrapped the trinket. I tuned her out as she waxed on about how it would pair with my 'pretty' necklace.

"Edward–" I began as we made our way back to our resort. The giftwrap had been abandoned and the charm bracelet dangled from my arm, the silver winking cheerfully in the low light.

"Merry Christmas, Bella," he grinned, kissing me lightly. "This has been the best Christmas of my life. I hope you'll agree."

And just like that I forgot what I was complaining about.


	41. Mature

_**Title:**__ You Found Me_

_**Full Summary:**__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_**Pairings:**__ Canon_

_**Rating:**__ M, for language and sexing._

_**Chapter: **__Forty-one; Mature_

_**POV:**__ Bella_

_**AN: **__Last one!_

xx

Returning to Forks after our impromptu vacation in Florida was an adjustment. The warmth was replaced by cold, damp weather and a return to well-worn schedules.

In a way, it was a relief having Edward with me as we settled back into the daily grind. It was normal. After the despair of wondering if I'd ever see him again, it was confirmation that he was really and truly by my side and that our detour in Florida wasn't just a glorious dream.

It was easier to deal with the issues that had resulted from our time apart when we were back at home, living our normal lives.

Separation anxiety was the first hurdle. Edward was wary of leaving my side, no matter the circumstance. It didn't matter if it was the one class we didn't share or a grocery store run that he had absolutely no interest in, he didn't like it when I was out of his line of sight. If it was at all possible he went out of his way to glue himself to my hip.

I had to admit I didn't like it when he was away from me either. I'd spent a month cut off from him. I knew how much it hurt when he wasn't there and it wasn't an experience I was eager to repeat.

Realistically, we both knew it was unhealthy and that the likelihood of anything similar happening in the future was improbable. Knowing and being able to take it to heart were two different things. Returning to how we'd been before would be a process that would take a little time. More than ever Edward and I were certain that we would be together for the rest of our lives, so time was something of which we had plenty to spare.

If anyone found our reliance on one another strange, they didn't comment. Thinking about it, we really weren't acting much different than we had before Edward had disappeared. We had always been in tune. As my mother had put it, we "orbited" around one another, always wary of our position relative to the other.

Though Edward was worried his return to school after such a long absence had potential for disaster, he fielded questions about his time in Boston like a pro. He'd been sometime in the seventies, so he knew enough about the city to keep up with the façade.

Of all people, it was Angela who threw him for a loop.

"You better not take Bella for granted," she had demanded, fixing him with a firm stare and a poke in the chest. "Because if you go gallivanting off without warning again, she might forgive you, but you and I are gonna have to have some words."

His flummoxed look was almost worth hearing her scold him, though I did feel guilty that he'd been made out to be an insensitive boyfriend when it really hadn't been his fault.

Edward might have a shot at making it in the entertainment business because his shock lasted only a moment. He was quick to pull an abashed look, his chastened expression so believable even Angela looked sorry for bringing it up.

"I understand," he said solemnly. "If I had known how much it would hurt Bella, I assure you, I wouldn't have gone. I'm sorry for damaging your trust in me." He concluded with a smile that somehow managed to come across as remorseful rather than cocky.

Angela flushed, thrown for a loop. "Um, well, yeah, I mean it wasn't that big of a deal. Just for next time… for, you know, Bella's sake."

I suppressed a chuckle. "I think he's learned his lesson," I told Angela, taking pity on her. Dealing with Edward when he was laying on the charm wasn't easy, as I knew from experience.

Edward nodded along contritely. "I have. I learned everything I needed to when I went to Boston."

Angela cleared her throat, reclaiming her capacity for speech. "Which was?"

His eyes burned into mine. "That, while Boston is a lovely city, it's not the place for me. I want to be wherever Bella is. Looking for my future elsewhere was pointless."

"Heading east, then?" Angela teased. "Alice was telling me that when she and Bella were filling out applications, everywhere Bella agreed to was all in the Tristate area."

My cheeks heated. It was true; sometime during the month I'd been zoned out, Alice had sat me down at the tiny kitchen table in my father's house and laid a stack of applications before me.

She had pointed out that even if we couldn't find Edward, my life would continue on and that I needed to be prepared for the worst case scenario. While I had been annoyed by her no nonsense attitude at the time, I was grateful that she had the foresight to force me to fill out all those applications. If it hadn't been for her tenacity, all the application deadlines would have been long gone before I had gathered the wherewithal to care.

When I had complained that she was acting as if Edward was already dead by forcing me to live as if he didn't exist, she had been more upset than I'd ever seen her.

Her eyes were cold as she showed me the stacks of dummied applications with Edward's name on them, identical copies of the ones she had handed me. She had still been planning my future with Edward when I had all but given up to sulk. Chastened, I had silently completed the ones with my name on them.

"I don't mind," Edward told Angela, wrapping an arm around my waist. "I'm used to travelling a lot. Since my parents passed away all I've done is move."

Angela grinned at him. "I'm glad you're taking this seriously. You had Bella worried. I told her you loved her… I mean, it's pretty obvious to anyone who spent ten minutes with you guys, but sometimes girls need to hear it."

Edward opened his mouth to defend himself but was cut off by a familiar face pushing into the circle the three of us had formed.

"Edward!" Jessica exclaimed, forcing Angela aside to wrap him in a hug as if he was a long lost family member and not an acquaintance she hardly knew. "Thank _god_ you're back! Gym class has been _so_ boring without you. Oh, and Bella's been miserable. I hope you did something about that because it was really starting to get irritating."

I had to smile. Though it had felt like the past month had brought monumental changes to my life, nothing was really that different after all.

xx

There was one person who was a little less forgiving of Edward than everyone else: Charlie.

My dad wasn't an easy person to upset. He'd seen enough as chief of police (even in a town as small as Forks) to be able to distinguish the ill-intentioned from those who merely made mistakes. It was clear he thought Edward fell into the latter category, but it was enough to earn him a spot on my father's watch list.

My reaction to Edward's 'trip' had convinced him that Edward had somehow wronged me. Though I had tried to act normal while Edward was gone to preserve his innocence, I wasn't a very compelling actress. Not having any solid evidence didn't deter Charlie. He had learned better than to ignore his instincts, so Edward remained guilty until proven innocent.

His reception to Edward at the airport was decidedly chilly. I'd been welcomed home with a one-armed hug and a fatherly kiss on the head. Edward had only received a cold stare.

We told my father that Edward and I had scheduled our respective flights to arrive within half an hour of one another to save whoever was picking us up a trip to the airport.

It was clear Charlie didn't believe it was good planning and a little luck that had landed Edward and I in the airport at the same time.

Though we had planned for Alice to be the one to make the trip into Seattle, Charlie had been insistent he do the honours, his excuse being the lack of storage in her flashy little sports car.

Edward later told me that Charlie suspected I had gone to visit him in Boston for the holidays and that visiting my mom was a ruse. I had to admire how close he'd come to figuring out the truth, even if it wasn't quite right.

My gushing recount of my trip to Disney World (minus any mentions of Edward) quashed some of his doubts, as did the charm bracelet I made sure I jangled loudly enough that he noticed. I wasn't a good enough liar to make up stories to bolster the lie and thankfully I didn't need to; Charlie wasn't the kind of person to ask more questions than was necessary.

He'd brought the cruiser to pick us up, so we'd ended up riding back to Forks in the backseat of a police car. I wondered if he was trying to tell us something. At first he'd tried to insist Edward should take the backseat while I rode up front. Though Edward had been more than willing to do whatever my father asked, I'd flatly refused, insisting that if Edward had to sit in the back behind the metal grill, I would too.

After what Edward had been through, there was no way I was going to let my dad make him feel like he'd done something wrong by leaving me to fend for myself for a few weeks. There was nothing he could have done to prevent it and I was going to make sure he knew I felt that way. It was clear Edward felt guilty that he had been unable to wrench himself free of James and Victoria. I didn't want to exacerbate his worries by making him think I blamed him too.

James and Victoria had been manipulative liars determined to do whatever it took to get their way. I was certain if everything hadn't happened as it did, it would have only been delaying the inevitable. If anything, Edward had spared my life by cooperating with them.

Though Charlie would never know the truth, I was certain he liked Edward as much as he was ever going to like anyone I brought home. It might take a while for the cold stares to die down but even Charlie wasn't immune to Edward's uncanny knack for getting people to like him.

By early spring, Charlie's attitude had begun to thaw, just as the frozen ground did. His demeanor was still frosty at times but hopeful hints of greenery were peeking out.

In late March, the first admissions letters from all the applications Alice and I had mailed out in December started rolling in.

I had been offered admission into to several smaller, lesser-known campuses I'd applied to, assuming my marks remained steady. The letters from the big name universities had yet to arrive and I wasn't sure if I was looking forward to them coming or not. Living on my own for the first time – even with Edward covering half the expenses – would be expensive enough without paying excessive tuition.

Edward and I were still locked at an impasse when it came to money.

I knew I could afford to pay the student loans and log enough part-time hours to pay for any of the schools I'd been accepted into. The generous entrance scholarships that were packaged with them made them all the more appealing. I could be self-sufficient and prove to Edward – and everyone – that I could take care of myself.

It had been Emmett who had made me see that maybe I was being selfish by thinking like that.

"You know B, for someone so smart, you sure can be dumb sometimes," he commented casually, like he hadn't just insulted me.

It was a rare window of opportunity. Edward had gone hunting with Rosalie. If my boyfriend had been around to take offense (Edward was a lot more offended by insults directed at me than I was) Emmett would have kept his mouth shut. Now that he had a mate, Emmett had finally started to embrace the benefits of using tact.

One of the most miraculous things to emerge from the Chicago incident (aside from Emmett's newfound ability to keep his mouth shut when it was beneficial to his wellbeing) had been the tentative bond Edward and Rosalie had managed to forge. With Emmett and Rosalie's relationship going strong, Edward and Rosalie had set aside their differences… enough to go out and kill things together, anyway.

They had a lot more in common than they realized. It was funny how alike they were for all the complaining they did about one another. They were male and female reflections of one another; both stubborn to a fault, hopelessly romantic, nauseatingly attractive and prone to fits of moodiness, among other things. It something both Emmett and I got a kick of pointing out when they weren't listening. Neither of us would dare make the comparison to their faces.

I glared at him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"This whole independent woman act you have going on."

"It's not an act," I said defensively. I'd had variations of this argument with Edward more times than I could count. I didn't need to have it with Emmett too.

Emmett shrugged dismissively. "Okay, fine, whatever. That's not the point. The point is why is it such a big deal letting Edward pay for shit? You think you're doing him a favour but you're not. You're settling for something you don't want. And that's making him miserable and a bigger pain in the ass to be around than usual."

"Emmett…"

"No, hear me out. You're unhappy, he's unhappy. It seems pretty fucking simple to me. No one is benefiting from this stupidity. So unless you have a really good fucking reason, which I suspect you don't… what's the point?"

"The point is it's not my money to spend. Edward shouldn't have to carry me through life. It's not fair. I want to be able to contribute something, too."

Emmett chuckled. "You're really clueless. By existing you've made his life worth living. Do you have any idea how lonely it is to live a century without someone to love? You've given Edward everything he ever wanted. He just wants to return the favour. He would dump every penny he owns into the ocean if he thought it would make you happy and he'd consider it money well spent."

I sighed. "That's exactly the point. I don't want to take advantage of his love. It seems dishonest."

Emmett scoffed. "Let's get real here; this has fuck all to do with honesty. It's your pride that's at stake. You don't want to be the weakest link."

My blood started to boil at his condescending tone. He was passing judgment on me based on his own stupid assumptions.

"You want to talk about pride getting in the way of things?" I snapped. "How long did it take you to apologize to Rosalie, again?"

Emmett breezed over the comment, clearly pleased with himself. "Hit a sore spot, did I? Deflecting isn't going to help. Yeah, I was an idiot but at least I've owned it."

I growled at him, growing increasingly annoyed with his inability to attempt to see things from my point of view. "What is there to own? I'm _trying_ to be selfless!"

"Look, I'm really not trying to piss you off, here. I'm just trying to say accepting a little help isn't a bad thing. It doesn't make you any less of a person. We have the resources to help you. There are a lot of people out there that don't have that. Freeing up the scholarships and stuff you're gonna get might help someone who actually needs them."

I paused, contemplating that. It was a side of the argument I'd never considered before. At times Emmett really stunned me with his unique approach to life and his surprising compassion for others.

"I never thought about that," I muttered, too stubborn to admit it was a valid point.

It had been fine when it was just me affected by my decision, but when I thought about someone out there being unable to go to college because they couldn't afford it and truly had no other options, it made me feel guilty and selfish for taking what I didn't necessarily need.

Emmett saw he'd cracked my shell. His grin widened. "Yeah, well, maybe you should've."

"I'll keep it in mind, okay?"

"Okay, cool," Emmett said cheerfully. "That's all I'm asking. We can talk about something else." He raised a sly eyebrow. "So how's Edward treating you? Fires still blazing in the sack?"

I rolled my eyes, unable to help myself. Trust Emmett to think sex was a safe alternative topic. He might have come leaps and bounds as far as developing tact went but he still had a long way to go.

"That's your idea of changing the subject?"

Emmett looked offended. "What? I'm curious. I mean, you're human, Edward isn't… it's bound to cause inquiring minds to ask questions. For instance, how exactly does him going down on you work? Does it make him want to kill you more than usual? Or is it like some magic ambrosia the rest of us are missing out on?"

My face flamed in embarrassment. In my mortification, my mouth ran without permission, words tumbling out in a tangled mess. "We've never, umm, done that. He won't let me… you know, either."

Emmett gaped at me, looking remarkably like a fish. "Seriously?"

I shrugged. I hadn't intended on saying anything in the first place. There was no way I was repeating it and humiliating myself further.

"No, really? For real?" My silence must have been answer enough because Emmett sat up straighter in his seat. "Where is he? That's unacceptable. He and I are gonna have a talk."

"Emmett, please," I begged. "I'm happy with things the way they are. It's not a big deal. At all. Please don't say anything to Edward. Please."

Emmett gave me a disbelieving look. "Oh, that's where you're wrong. You just don't know it's a big deal because your boyfriend is a stupid, insecure tool."

"It's a legitimate worry," I defended. "If he's concerned, I'm not going to push him. It's not a deal-breaker."

Emmett scoffed, indignant on my behalf. "Is it a legitimate worry? Like his freak out about sex? That turned out just fine. There's nothing wrong with asking for yours. Rosie–"

"Do I really need to hear this?" I interrupted, not wanting to hear about his sexual adventures with Rosalie. It was bad enough hearing them the rare nights that Edward and I stayed in his room at the Cullen home.

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Fine, have it your way."

Edward and Rosalie chose that moment to hop in through the window, landing gracefully one after another. Edward looked ready to pounce on Emmett. He must have overheard everything. It was clear Emmett had known Edward was within earshot; his too-innocent grin told the whole story.

Surprisingly, it was Rosalie not Edward who got the first word.

"You're a dumbass," she told Emmett flatly.

"Aww, Rosie, I was just trying to help out a girl in need."

"A girl who didn't need help, you big oaf," Rosalie snapped, cutting her eyes at her mate. "Look at her; she's mortified because you couldn't keep your big mouth shut."

She dragged him up from his spot on the sofa, pulling him up the stairs.

"She'll thank me later," Emmett promised, shooting a grin over his shoulder.

"Shut up and let's leave them to talk out the mess you created." Rosalie punched his arm, her voice and Emmett's responding groan of pain fading as they climbed the stairs.

"Bella?" Edward asked cautiously, settling into the spot Emmett had vacated.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, reaching out to grab his hand. "Emmett–"

"You don't need to explain to me, Bella. I know Emmett brought it up. I heard." His expression turned stormy, annoyed with Emmett's interference. He paused, asking carefully, "Is that something you would like to try? I'll admit, at first I was worried I might hurt you if I pushed myself. But now that we have more experience… I'm willing to try… if you want."

I scooted across the foot that separated us, wrapping my arms around him. Once again, Edward surprised me with his willingness to do whatever it took to make me happy, even if it was against his better instincts.

I cupped his cheek in my hand, kissing him lightly. "You know that I never felt anything was missing from our relationship, don't you? That I'm perfectly happy with the way things are?"

He nodded, returning my kiss with a soft one of his own. "I know. That doesn't mean you shouldn't want to try new things. I can understand that."

"I want to try everything with you," I admitted, my chest squeezing with affection for him. Touched, I made a split second decision but it was one I knew I wouldn't regret. "And that includes college stuff. I'm not going to hold back anymore, either. Go big or go home, right?"

When Edward and I got matching acceptance letters to Columbia two weeks later, we started making plans to move to Manhattan.

xx

The next months flew by. I wasn't sure how it happened, but senior year was coming to a close without any time seeming to have passed at all. The buds that had promised to blossom in early spring were suddenly full bloom and the days were as hot and moist as they ever were in Forks. Graduation loomed just around the corner.

The day that had seemed so distant the first day of freshman year arrived quietly. Everyone was abuzz with excitement but I found myself calm. It was just another stepping-stone to the future.

Edward was more excited than me. He had never been to a graduation ceremony before. When he had graduated from high school in 1918, he had missed the event for his father's funeral. He'd never actually completed a full university degree, either. So we were experiencing our first graduation together. His youthful exuberance about it was really cute.

Jasper responded dryly that it was far less exciting the twentieth time, but Edward was undeterred.

Wearing the navy and yellow robes that signified we were Forks High graduates, we marched across the auditorium, shook hands with important people and held up our diplomas for a barrage of flashing lights and cameras.

Charlie and Renee sat in the audience, in a room together for the first time in over a decade, the proud smiles parents always wore at these events plastered on their faces.

My mother had been warned that Charlie was unaware Edward had come with me to visit her in Florida. She had gleefully mimed zipping her lips, loving that she had a secret to keep.

"Oh, baby, I'm so proud of you," Renee gushed, crushing me in a hug. "You, too, Edward. Since your parents couldn't be here, I hope you know you can consider Charlie and I your family."

Charlie's moustache twitched but Edward seemed not to notice.

Edward offered a genuine smile. "Thank you, Renee, I appreciate that."

"No problem, honey. I should be thanking you for taking such good care of Bella. I've never seen her so happy. She glows."

Edward shrugged bashfully, wrapping an arm around my gown-clad waist. "I'm sure it's more than just me."

"Maybe. But you've had a hand in it." Renee squeezed our hands, her excitement obvious. "And now you're leaving. My children, going off to study at Columbia. It's so exciting. Isn't it, Charlie?"

Charlie's moustache twitched again, but his pride was clear. "Yeah. Ivy league. Who would have thought a couple of kids from the sticks would make it out to New York City?"

"I did," Renee claimed, brushing hair from my forehead. "I always knew Bella was headed for big things. She's smarter than either of us ever were."

"That's true," Charlie admitted with a wry smile. "A better cook, too."

"Maybe not for long. I've been trying out some new dishes," Renee boasted. "Phil really loved my pot roast."

"You sure he wasn't just being nice?" Charlie suggested. I stifled a giggle. It did seem to be the more likely option.

"I'm sure it was delicious, Renee," Edward added. My mother beamed at his confidence in her abilities.

"Anyway, that's not important. We were talking Columbia," my mother continued, her tone bright. "Have the two of you found an apartment yet? Last time we spoke, Bella said you'd seen some that looked promising…"

xx

"Edward?" I called out to the next room, "what happened to the box of kitchen stuff? I swear I saw you bring it in, but I can't find it."

Edward strode into the room carrying the box I'd been looking for. "This one? It's awfully heavy. How can one person possibly need so many tools just to cook food?"

I shrugged, my collection of cooking utensils and gadgets didn't seem all that excessive to me. "That's the one. Thanks."

I kissed him on the cheek and tried to take it from him but he refused to let me unload the heavy box from his arms.

"I'll put it in the kitchen and you can unpack it, okay?"

I nodded. I'd never really undergone a full-scale move before but I definitely appreciated that having a vampire around made it easier than it would have been otherwise.

I was trying to be better about accepting help, even when I didn't necessarily need it. Sure, I could have moved the box myself, but it made Edward feel better to offer assistance and, truthfully, it was nice that he wanted to. He wasn't trying to undermine me, he was just trying to help. Keeping that in mind made all the difference.

We still had the occasional clash about our varying opinions on money and my need to do things on my own, but they were usually resolved quickly and with compromise.

For instance, the apartment we had settled on was a modest size, clean and in a nice neighbourhood. It was far from the lavish luxury condo Edward had originally had his eye on but it wasn't the tiny one bedroom I thought was most practical, either.

Now that we were in the process of unpacking, I was glad for the added space. For someone who'd only been on the planet for less than two decades, I'd sure acquired a lot of stuff.

Both Charlie and Renee had gifted us with all sorts of odds and ends necessary to run a household; everything from towels to flatware to the old leather furniture my mom had put in storage when she and Phil had redecorated the previous summer. Filling the empty apartment with all the things that would form our lives together for the next four years, and possibly longer, it was starting to feel like a home already.

Edward came up behind me as I absently tossed aside the newspaper padding from one of the boxes. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed the back of my neck.

"What are you thinking about so hard about?"

I laid my head on his shoulder. "Nothing. Just how much stuff we have. Where to put it all. And maybe a little about how much I'm going to love living with you." I couldn't help but smile.

He returned my grin twofold. "Good. You're not still worried about Charlie?"

My dad's warmed up attitude to Edward had chilled considerably upon learning that Edward and I planned to share an apartment post-graduation. With Renee in our corner and the fact that we were moving out of state, there really wasn't much he could do about it, but it was obvious he thought it was too soon.

"He'll get over it eventually."

It seemed to make Charlie feel better to know that Edward and I wouldn't be alone in the city. In a surprising move, Emmett and Rosalie had decided to follow us across the country. Emmett and Edward's brotherly relationship was like a vortex that Rosalie and I had found ourselves sucked into. The four of us had grown quite close.

If anyone had told me six months ago that I would consider Rosalie one of my closest friends, I would have thought that they were certifiable. But somehow, it had worked out that way. With Rosalie graduating alongside Edward and I, there was nothing tying her and Emmett to Forks. In four days they were set to move into an apartment building a couple blocks down from ours.

Until then, they were staying with us, helping us get settled. At the moment they were out squaring some paperwork with the landlord they were subletting from. I hadn't paid much attention when they'd left, too engrossed in the mountains of stuff waiting to be put away to really listen.

It was just the four of us for now, though I had a feeling we'd be seeing the others before the year was out.

Jasper and Alice were somewhere off in Mexico. They were enjoying a few months of travelling before settling back down. It had been a long time since they had a chance to spend time as a couple without family. When Rosalie had been solo, the Cullens had stuck together for her sake. Now that she was paired off and enjoying the blissful honeymoon stage of her relationship with Emmett, they felt the time was right to do a little globetrotting.

Carlisle and Esme had decided to stay in Forks. Like Alice and Jasper, it had been decades since they had enjoyed any real alone time. As much as they loved their family, I got the impression were enjoying being empty nesters. Even so, I had a feeling it was only a matter of time until Esme missed having a large brood to fuss over and insisted she and her husband pack up and follow the rest of us.

Edward's tone grew soft. "I don't want you to have regrets."

I twisted in his embrace so I could wrap my arms around him. "Believe me when I say I have absolutely no regrets." I pointed at my face. "I've been smiling so much my cheeks hurt. If that isn't proof, I don't know what is."

He squeezed me tighter.

"Good." Pausing to glance around at the chaos of the apartment, he gave me his most charming smile. "I'm getting tired of hauling boxes. What do you say we take a break?"

"Well," said demurely, running a thumb down his jaw, "most of the bedroom has been unpacked."

"Actually, I finished the rest of it," he proclaimed proudly. "I unpacked everything that was marked 'closet.' Our clothes are sorted by season they'll be worn, then colour, with an additional section for formalwear."

I laughed. It was so Edward. "Thorough."

An indignant crease sprouted on his forehead. "We're going to need to be able to find our clothes."

"I don't think we're going to need clothes for what happens next," I teased, standing on tiptoe so I could kiss him.

Edward grinned. "We'd better get on that immediately if we want to finish before Emmett and Rosalie get back."

"Emmett and Rosalie aren't supposed to be back for another two hours," I reminded him. "They said they 4, right?"

"Yeah, so like I said… we'd better hurry."

I squealed as he scooped me up in his arms and raced to the bedroom. He hadn't been kidding when he said he'd finished it up.

Everything was immaculate, down to the polished wood and neatly placed throw rugs on the floors. The duvet we'd chosen together at Bed, Bath and Beyond the previous week was draped on our bed, complete with neatly tucked French corners. He'd even lit a row of candles on the dresser. It was a stark contrast to the living space we'd just been in, where our stuff was placed in haphazard piles covering every available flat surface.

"Someone was hoping to get lucky," I teased, arching an eyebrow and running a hand through his hair.

He tossed me on the bed and climbed over me, hovering on his hands and knees as he dipped down to kiss a trail along my neck.

"I don't have to hope. You're a sure thing," he teased back. "I already know I'm the luckiest man alive, anyway. I couldn't get any luckier if I tried."

I pulled his face to mine, unable to come up with an adequate response. Edward didn't seem to mind. His hands floated down my ribs, easily finding the hem of my shirt as I occupied his lips with mine. He tugged the fabric over my head impatiently and tossed it off the bed. My bra and shorts were the next casualties.

Edward refused to let me do the same with his clothes. When my hands would draw close to the fastenings, he would tangle his fingers with mine and place them elsewhere, kissing me until I forgot my name, much less what I'd been attempting to do.

"Edward," I groaned, when this happened a third time.

He shushed me, his lips skimming the curve of my breast. I let out an involuntary hum as his lips closed around my sensitive skin. The coolness of his lips was a refreshing contrast to the muggy August weather.

"I told you I had plans. Be quiet and let me carry them out." His eyes were dark with desire and his voice lowered an octave. Both were filled with delicious promise.

"Carry them out faster," I complained, the final syllable dragging as Edward's practiced fingers found the one area of my body still covered by fabric, manipulating the soft flesh in ways he knew made me squirm.

Locking his eyes with mine, he hooked his fingers in my panties and leisurely drew them down my thighs. The moment they were past my knees, I kicked them off, already frustrated with his unhurried pace.

Free of the restrictive material, I spread my legs for him, wanting more, as always. I didn't need to say a thing. It was signal enough. Edward was more than eager to fulfill the silent request. Dropping several kisses along my ribs and stomach, he lowered his head between my legs. I sighed at the soft wash of his cool breath on the charged flesh.

His tongue was swift to get in on the action; it fluttered gently, lazily, picking up pace as he graduated to firmer strokes. My fingers twined in the mussed bronze of his hair, holding on for dear life.

I hated to admit Emmett was right, but when he'd said this was a big deal, he'd been spot on. As much as I loved having Edward inside of me, there was something really intimate about having him this way. I hadn't known what I'd been missing out on. Neither had Edward, for that matter. I got the impression that he enjoyed it as much as I did.

Since the first time he'd gone down on me, not long after we agreed to expand beyond our narrow comfort zone, his confidence had grown leaps and bounds. With the frequency with which he was willing to hone his skills, it was no wonder. He was able to reduce me to a puddle of boneless need in seconds.

I thought it probably had something to do with him being a vampire. The cold firmness of his tongue and the tingling sensation of his venom made it so intense it was hard to think anything could possibly feel better.

I tugged on his hair, desperate to crest the waves of sensation assaulting me, though what I needed was always just beyond my grasp. Edward had perfected the art of teasing to an infuriating degree.

I half-moaned, half-cried his name, caught in limbo between frustration and bliss. Edward took that as his cue to finally give my body the release it ached for. I sighed and curved into him as the relief of climax washed away the last vestiges of tension.

Edward slithered up my body, still fully dressed. The scraping of fabric against my hypersensitive skin made me shiver.

"Good?" he asked, licking his lips. His satisfied smirk told me he knew precisely how good it has been. There was an underlying pride that made me smirk back.

"Better," I admitted, not about to pretend it had been anything less than mind-blowing. I curled into his side, enjoying the feeling of post-coital contentment.

He pulled me closer, kissing me gently. I didn't like the way I tasted as much as he did, but I didn't mind it either. Edward made it bearable. I much preferred the way he tasted. His skin was always sweet, without the saltiness of human skin. With the added tang of venom, he tasted even better.

Pulling away, I tugged impatiently at his T-shirt, ready for him to be as naked as I was. "Take this off, now. And these," I tugged at the pocket of his jeans.

Obediently, Edward stood, discarding his clothing in less time than it took to blink. He was back by my side, completely nude, without seeming to have moved at all.

"Like this?"

I nodded, biting my lip as I stared unabashedly. I didn't have much experience with naked men, but there was no doubt in my mind Edward ranked among the most beautiful. Even after almost a year together, I still had to pinch myself once in a while to remind myself he was mine.

"Umhmm."

I dragged my nails down his chest, trailing kisses after them. The contented purring I adored so much spurred me on.

Scattering several kisses on his face, I decided I was in a playful mood. I was always so impatient to have him that I rarely teased him like he did me. Today I was feeling comfortably sated. It was time about time he got a taste of his maddening medicine.

I pushed at his shoulder, encouraging him to roll onto his back. He complied, letting me guide him into a more submissive position without resistance. I kept my eyes on his as I straddled his legs and slowly dipped to drop a wet kiss on the tip of his straining erection. I moved purposefully, wanting him to have a lingering visual.

Sparing a soft flick of my tongue, I pulled away, replacing my mouth with my hand.

Edward's groan of protest and muttered curse were audible but he said nothing to stop me. His only response was to flex his hips into my hand, seeking friction. He would never insist that I do anything I didn't want to and I was counting on it.

"Something wrong, baby?" I asked innocently, establishing a rhythm of feathery touches.

"You're evil," he ground out, his voice a strained whisper.

"If there's something you need, I'd be happy to oblige," I told him, kissing his cheek.

He shook his head and his honey eyes narrowed. He stubbornly refused to play my game. That was okay. I could be patient. I was playing with the master of patience, but I had one up on him this time and we both knew it.

"All you have to do is ask," I promised coyly. "I think you'll find I'm very reasonable."

I kissed a trail along his ribs, making sure he felt the wet heat of my tongue. The pace of my hand slowed to a sluggish crawl.

Edward groaned, frustrated by the step backwards. "Bella, please." His hips raised higher, but I drew back, playing up the demure role I'd established.

"Please what? Is something the matter?"

I hid my smile, enjoying the sight of his face contorted with need. It was a reversal of our usual roles and it filled me with a strange glee to see him so desperate. I understood why he enjoyed teasing me so much.

He remained mute. His eyes squeezed shut and his breaths turned shallow as he tried to ward off his frustration. He was on the verge of cracking.

Eventually he could stand the slow pace no longer. Gritting his teeth, he begged, "Jesus. Faster, please, Bella?"

I complied with the request and stroked his cheek, pleased he was finally playing the game with me. It was a start, but it wasn't what I wanted. Or rather, what I knew he wanted.

"Like this, baby?" I asked him, bending to kiss him as my hand continued to work him.

He nodded wordlessly, but I could tell he was still unsatisfied by the way he squirmed under my touch.

"You can ask me for anything, you know that, don't you? Anything at all. I want to make you happy. Tell me what I can do to make it better."

His eyes met mine, heavy with lust. He swallowed hard repeatedly; the pooling venom a sure sign he was frantic with desire. This time his response was almost immediate.

"Put your mouth on me?"

I grinned and kissed him deeply. "My pleasure."

His moan of satisfaction as my mouth met his most sensitive skin sent a shot of adrenaline charging down my spine. He was so close to the edge, I had barely settled into a rhythm before he reached his pinnacle.

Within seconds, he pulled me up his body and reversed our position. A second after that, he was inside of me. I gasped at the unexpected but definitely not unwanted intrusion.

I'd rarely seen his amber eyes so full of fire. What might have been frightening in other circumstances was thrilling. Even through the blaze, I could see his love for me; he would never hurt me. He so rarely loosened his grip on control, it was nice when he just took what he needed and asked questions later.

I let myself float, content to let him take the lead. I trusted him implicitly.

The lovemaking was quicker than it had ever been between us before. When it was over, we laid side by side on our brand-new bed in our brand-new apartment, panting as we recovered. I tucked myself under Edward's arm, wrapping it around me like a cool shawl.

"That was awesome," I breathed. "I love it when you get urgent."

He gave me a lazy, sated smile. "You're not tired?"

"We still have a lot of unpacking to do. I can't afford to be tired."

Edward grinned, a lot happier about the prospect of more unpacking than I was. He enjoyed sorting out our apartment. I wasn't sure if it was because it was a mark of our lives meshing together or if he really just liked organizing things. I was betting on a combination of the two.

"Well… if you're not tired, we still have time for another round before Rosalie and Emmett are due back." Gold eyes burned hopefully into mine and I couldn't say no. As if I wanted to anyway.

When Emmett and Rosalie strutted in the door an hour later, Emmett burst into a chuckle, shaking his head in disbelief.

"The two of you waste no time. Rosie and I leave for a couple of hours and already the two of you have christened the place. You know you've only officially lived here for seven hours right?"

xx

"Bella?" Edward called. I heard the door to our apartment shut behind him. He'd been out with Rosalie and Emmett, hunting. Usually one of them stayed behind, but not tonight. I was completely on my own for the first time since the semester had begun.

I had used the opportunity to make a trip to the drugstore.

It was merely a precaution. I had been certain it would turn out it was all in my head. A figment of my wild imagination. I knew it wasn't possible, but somehow it was. Because it _was_. The evidence was indisputable.

I'd taken the test three times. Three separate brands. Each with the same result.

They lined the counter in a neat row, daring me to contradict them.

And so I stood speechless, staring at myself in the bathroom mirror, wondering how I was supposed to tell Edward. I didn't believe it myself, yet. How was I supposed to make him believe?

Edward was at my side in a flash, his arms tucked around me like a soothing blanket. As comforting as having him wrapped around me was, it didn't stop my insides from churning with nerves. It seemed like an eternity since he'd stepped in the door, though I knew it had only been seconds.

How was I supposed to explain this to him? I didn't understand it myself. It wasn't supposed to be possible.

He griped my shoulders, turning me to face him, his eyes full of terror. "Bella, sweetheart, you're scaring me. What's the matter? Did something happen?"

I pointed at the white sticks lining the counter, my voice stuck somewhere in the vicinity of my stomach. My whole body was numb. I couldn't feel my arm, but I could see it moving, pointing at the three white sticks that had upended my life as I knew it.

Edward's head tilted as he analyzed the odd scene.

I saw the moment understanding struck. His entire face slackened, shock seeping into every feature. A loaded moment of silent staring and absolute stillness passed before he turned to me.

Thank god he didn't push me away. I didn't think I could have handled that. Instead he drew me closer. I felt an invisible weight lift.

"Bella?" The mix of disbelief and amazement scrawled on his face was just as present in his tone. Never had my name been so loaded. I had no idea what to tell him, no idea how to begin to explain the impossible.

I swallowed hard, forcing down the lump in my throat. One of us had to say the words and it looked like it was going to be me.

"I think I'm pregnant."

xx

_Yes, that's the end of the regular chapters. Cliffhanger for the win._

_Originally I had planned to have Bella find out she was pregnant shortly after Edward was kidnapped if it was more popular (it was, very slightly), but the support for kid/no kid was so closely split I decided to push it to the end of the story so those who were anti-baby (and some of you were awfully passionate about the subject, trust me!) could get some closure without having to read to the very end, while those who DID want to see Edward and Bella with a baby could get a little taste in the epilogue. Trust me when I say it's going to be very different than BD. SM and I just don't agree on some things._

_To those of you who are passionately 'no baby' and are moving on… thank you for reading this far! I've enjoyed sharing this story with you and I hope I'll see you again for my next story :) _

_To everyone else… I'll see you in the epilogue ;)_


	42. Epilogue

_Title:__ You Found Me_

_Full Summary:__ Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible._

_Pairings:__ Canon_

_Rating:__ M, for language and sexing._

_Chapter: __Epilogue_

_POV:__ Edward_

_AN: __And this is it. I can't believe it's actually over. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read, I appreciate all of you. I hope to see all of you out there in the fandom :) And I couldn't end this fic without a special thanks to Jana who has been my main hand-holder._

xx

Students dressed in dark robes accented with Columbia's blue and white streamed across the stage at a rapid rate, each accepting a firm handshake and a rolled diploma. The R's had finished several minutes ago, and the S's were well into their march.

The little boy squirming in my lap tilted his face back to meet mine. "Is it almost Mommy's turn?"

"Soon sweetie," Renee promised, leaning to kiss his little cheek from the seat next to mine. She was as impatient as he was, her excitement making her jittery. "Just a little longer."

I smiled into bright jade eyes – eyes that had once belonged to me – when he looked back at me for confirmation.

"It's alphabetical," I reminded him. "You know how Mommy's last name is spelled. S –"

He shrugged me off impatiently, his exasperated expression a perfect reflection of his mother's. "I already know."

Renee beamed at him, her pride evident. "That's right. You're our little genius, aren't you?"

"Yep!" He gave her the hammy grin that had won him the hearts of everyone sitting in this aisle. Even Charlie adored his grandson in his quiet way. Noah was one of few people willing to sit by and endure his sports commentaries. As a result my son had an encyclopedic knowledge of sports history.

I kissed his head, directing his attention away from his excitable grandmother and back to the stage. "Since you know how to spell Mommy's name, you know it's almost her turn. You might miss her if you don't pay attention."

He nodded obediently and focused his eyes on the procession once again. Though his eyes were on the stage, his mind wasn't. His thoughts wandered, giving away his exasperation with watching hundreds of students who weren't his mother get their diplomas.

That was the trouble with having a half-vampire child. Though he was intelligent enough to understand, he had the human impatience with sitting still and enduring something that didn't interest him.

I bounced him on my lap to get his attention when Bella finally strode onto the stage.

She accepted her diploma from the chancellor, her brow furrowed as she scanned the crowd for us. Her desperation to spot us might have been unnoticeable to others but I knew her every expression better than I knew myself.

Noah sat up in my arms, his grin huge as he recognized his mother. His little arms waved at her, begging her to see him. In the seat over, his grandmother did the same. Charlie, Rose and Emmett settled for cheers and more restrained waves. I would have joined in with my own enthusiasm if not for my son sitting on my lap.

With limited seating, Bella had been limited to five guests. Noah had snuck by because he could share a seat with me. The others were all gathered at our apartment, making the final preparations for Bella's graduation party.

Bella's eyes lit with affection as she caught sight of Noah's frantic waves. The amount they adored one another made me love them both more. A flash of her brilliant smile and she was gone as the next person made their way to centre stage.

"That was it?" Noah asked, dumfounded, as she disappeared from view. "We had to wait an hour for that?"

Emmett chuckled from the seat on my other side. "Welcome to the real world, kid."

Rosalie elbowed him from two seats over. "Shut up, Emmett." She peered at Noah over her husband's lap. "Don't listen to him, baby. Uncle Emmett is just being rude."

"Do you see why Mommy and I thought you might find school tedious?" I said quietly, taking the opportunity to remind him why Bella and I thought he might not have the patience to deal with other children. "If you found this boring, think about how you'll feel after an entire year of kindergarten. You won't be reading Flaubert with Mommy or solving equations with Auntie Rosalie. You'll be listening to nursery rhymes and creating finger paintings."

"I know. I want to meet other kids. Adults are boring, too. You said I could go as long as I promised to keep the secret," he reminded me with wide eyes, worried that I might rescind the offer.

I kissed his dark hair, just as I'd done to his mother's so many times, thankful that Renee was engaged in conversation with Charlie and not paying attention to us. She wouldn't understand what promise was being referred to and wouldn't hesitate to ask.

Of course, the secret to which Noah was referring was that the majority of his family members were vampires. At the tender age of four, he was well aware of the differences between humans and vampires and knew that he fell somewhere in between.

He also knew that humans didn't think vampires existed and why it was crucial that it stay that way. We had engrained in him that he was not to mention vampires to his mother's parents because they were human. In the three years he'd been speaking, he'd never once slipped up.

Bella and I hated asking him to keep such a monumental secret but it was necessary for him to have the relatively normal childhood we both wanted for him. We refused to hide him away. He was our proudest accomplishment and we wanted the world to know he existed.

There were some things that were out of our control; for instance, there was little we could do to hide that his intelligence far exceeded an average four-year-old's. But the benefit of that was that he was intelligent enough to understand the limitations of what he could say and do in public and the serious ramifications if he broke his promises. To most – his grandparents included – he was merely an extremely gifted child, not a half-vampire that defied nature.

"Mommy and I made a promise and we're going to keep it," I assured him. "You don't need to worry that we will change our minds. If you want to go to school, you can."

He regarded me with suspicious eyes. "Okay. But this better not be like the time you guys tricked me into eating vegetables."

I chuckled, amused by his suspicion. Like most children, Noah loathed vegetables.

"No way. We know you're on to us."

Thinking we were being clever, Bella and I had tried to sneak vegetables into a fruit puree we'd fed to him when he'd been months old and he refused to let us forget our deception. Not only had he refused to eat a bite of it, the entire contents of his bowl had ended up on the ceiling.

It was fortunate he had no nutritional requirements that needed to be met. His half-immortal body could withstand any source of nutrition he threw at it. Despite a few valiant attempts by both Bella and myself, Noah preferred foods with a high sugar content. He was even more stubborn than Bella when it came to attempts to sway his diet to healthier choices. Thankfully, he deemed fruits acceptable, so Bella and I didn't come across as completely unfit parents.

Both Carlisle and Rosalie had examined him many times over, yet neither could ever find a medical reason why we should dissuade Noah from his preferred diet. He was perfectly healthy, if a little small for his age. That was strictly attributed to his vampire blood, which tempered regular human growth.

Once his teeth had grown in (an experience I never wished to repeat; having a teething vampire was nothing short of a nightmare), they were sharp enough to make drinking blood an option, but he disliked the taste, preferring human food. I didn't blame him. If I had another option, I'd take it, too.

It didn't take long for the ceremony to wrap up after we spotted Bella. The lights in the theatre rose and the audience was ushered outside (where plenty of cloud cover waited) to commence the frenetic search for graduates as they made their way back to their families.

I tapped Emmett on the shoulder. "Stay here and entertain the in-laws, will you?" I asked, nodding to Renee and Charlie. Renee was talking animatedly, not seeming to notice that Charlie looked like he'd rather be anywhere else. "Noah and I are going to find Bella. We'll be back."

He thumped me on the back. "Sure, no problem. You want me to take the kid?"

I shook my head. Bella would want to see him.

Noah spotted her before I did, his vantage point on my hip giving him a good view of the area. "Daddy, Mommy's over there." His arm stretched in her direction.

Both Noah and I grinned at the sight of her. Even after half a decade together, she still filled me with indescribable feelings every time I saw her.

Wearing her dark robes, with her dark hair curled gently by Alice's expert hands, she was a vision. She teetered on heels as she stood on her toes, searching for us. Years of Alice thrusting them on her and she'd still never quite mastered them.

"Let's go say congratulations, shall we?"

Noah nodded enthusiastically.

Weaving through the crowd toward her, I wrapped the arm that wasn't holding Noah around my wife's waist, burying my face in her hair. "Hello, love."

She whirled to face us, her smile so wide I couldn't help but mirror it. Noah outshined us both with his even more brilliant smile.

"You were amazing," I told her, kissing her softly. "Congratulations, baby."

"Thanks." She flushed with pride, tucking a curl behind her ear. "I've never been so nervous in my life."

"You didn't look nervous," Noah supplied helpfully. "Just happy."

He held out his arms to her, the universal signal for "please hold me." Bella obliged, taking him from me. He wrapped his arms around her, offering a hug that was part congratulations, part happiness to see his mother.

"What did you think?" she asked him.

He shrugged. "It was boring. I think once I graduate kindergarten I'll retire from school. I don't need to go to college."

Bella and I both chuckled, our eyes meeting over our son's head as he regaled us with his interpretation of the day, which was a lot more complex than one might have expected. Away from his grandparent's ears, he unleashed his thoughts freely.

He analyzed the president's commencement speech for us, told us the exact number of graduates that had walked across the stage and even tallied the percentage of graduates who shared his mother's major down to a hundredth of a percent. I hadn't thought he had been paying that much attention.

As always, he surprised me, just like his mother did. Never had I thought I'd find myself here. Some days the word "son" still seemed foreign. Five years after the fact and I still couldn't believe he had happened to me.

xx

"I think I'm pregnant," Bella repeated, a trembling hand settling on her stomach.

I found myself completely speechless. My mind was free of any thoughts that I could even begin to form into words. It was as though an invisible plug had been pulled and they'd all been flushed away.

"Edward?" she questioned, her hand skimming my cheek, forcing my panicked eyes to meet hers. "Baby, are you okay?"

A stab of guilt surged. She was the one worried she might be pregnant and she was comforting me? I forced the haze that had settled over me to clear.

"Pregnant," I choked out, repeating the word that had tossed my world upside down.

"Yes." Worried eyes searched mine. "You know it's yours, don't you? I know it sounds impossible, but I've never been with anyone else, and–"

I kissed her forehead, unable to let her think I would believe she had betrayed me. "I know. I love you. I trust you." Now that my mind was functioning, it was working in overdrive. I had no idea where to begin. "Are you absolutely positive?"

It was a wasted question. I could already see changes in her. Her scent had shifted and her midsection pulsed with the slightest whisper of sound, both miniscule changes I'd never dwelled on. I'd even missed the slight curve of her stomach. It wouldn't be noticeable to anyone else, but I knew her body better than anybody. I should have being paying closer attention to the changes in my mate.

"Pretty certain." She gestured to the white sticks lining the counter. "I bought brands that use different hormones, in case I got a false positive. I haven't had my period in months. It's not very regular but six months is a long time even for me. Since we moved, I'd been feeling tired and emotional. I assumed it was the stress of moving across the country. When it didn't go away, I started to suspect… I'm sorry."

She sniffed, tears flooding down her cheeks. I pulled her close, unable to stand the sight of her crying. I mumbled soothing words, repeating over and over that it wasn't her fault and we'd figure it out.

She inhaled shakily and clung to me. "What are we going to do? I mean, I can't exactly walk into the hospital and pretend this is normal."

"Carlisle?" I suggested. "He's studied humans and vampires for centuries. If anyone can help us understand what's happening, it'll be him."

Throwing together travel plans that would get us to Forks as soon as possible, we collected ourselves enough to explain to Rosalie and Emmett what we suspected and where we were going. They insisted on coming with us, claiming we needed all the support we could get. While that was true in a sense, we also wanted to be left alone to deal with the situation in private.

If Bella was indeed carrying my child, it would be my responsibility to shield and protect her. Including from our sometimes overbearing friends. As much as we loved them, the development was so new, we needed time to process it ourselves before they got involved. Thankfully, they seemed to understand. Throughout the flight, they kept to themselves, allowing Bella and I to huddle together in thoughtful silence.

Carlisle greeted us at the gate in Seattle with a cautious smile, assuring us that he would figure out what was happening and determine what was safest for Bella.

One of his initial musings was that if the pregnancy was unwanted, it seemed likely we could abort it. I was surprised by the fierce contempt I felt at the suggestion. If by some miracle Bella and I had managed to create a child, the thought of killing it was abhorrent. Destroying a piece of Bella made me feel ill.

Rosalie seemed to feel the same way. She'd shot Carlisle a fierce stare, snapping that killing an innocent baby would be no better than murder.

She'd been quick to form an attachment to the unborn child, though I suspected that had more to do with her desire to have a baby than any deep-seated need to protect our baby.

The drive to Forks seemed to take an eternity. With five of us crammed into Carlisle's Mercedes, it was a tight fit. I pulled Bella onto my lap, not caring if it violated road safety. I needed her close and she needed comfort.

Bella had been impassive while Carlisle voiced his thoughts on the possibility of ending her pregnancy. I couldn't imagine Bella being the kind of person who would abort a baby and it unsettled me that I wasn't sure. I settled a hand over her stomach, wanting to let her know without words how I felt. If there was a baby in there, it was ours. That was enough reason to want to protect it.

Esme welcomed us into the Cullen home with uncharacteristic somberness. We were all greeted with hugs. She kissed Bella on each cheek and insisted on making her something to eat. The smile that accompanied the offer didn't quite reach her eyes.

I offered a weak smile of my own, wishing I could assure her that everything would be fine. Bella needed us to be optimistic or she would fall victim to her own nerves.

"Can we just get this over with?" Bella asked as everyone settled around the kitchen table. She nibbled at the plate Esme set before her but mostly shoved the food around with a fork, too nervous to enjoy it. I hovered at her side, unwilling to leave her alone for even a moment.

"Of course, darling," Esme soothed. "Carlisle's setting up in his office. It's been a long time since he's had to pull out his obstetric equipment. He's getting it from the attic now. He'll be down in a moment."

Rosalie grabbed Bella's hand in a supportive gesture. "Everything's going to be fine. You're having a baby. That's the greatest gift anyone could possibly ask for."

Her eyes shone and her thoughts drifted to her longing for a baby. Envy that she would never have one was quick to follow. She quashed it.

Bella's eyes grew wet. "Even if I can have the baby… what do I know about being a mother? I've lived on my own for three months!"

"You'll have Edward," Rosalie offered. "The two of you love one another. You'll love your baby, too. I know it. And Em and I will help any way we can. You don't think we'd let our niece or nephew suffer, do you?"

"Maybe if he or she is left alone with Emmett," I said wryly, hoping to see Bella smile.

She didn't. Her hand dropped to her stomach. "I might not even be strong enough. What if the baby is as strong as Edward?"

Emmett scoffed. "B, you're the strongest human I know. If there's anyone capable of rearing Edward's demon spawn, it's you." He grinned when Bella cracked a tiny smile.

Carlisle stepped into the room. "Edward? Bella? I'm all set up."

Bella stood, clutching my hand so tightly that her knuckles turned white. I gave her a reassuring smile though I was just as terrified.

"It's going to be fine," Rosalie repeated. "We'll be here if you need us."

It seemed to take an eternity for Carlisle to take Bella's measurements and complete a thorough examination with what appeared to be an ancient ultrasound machine. He asked questions about everything from how she was feeling to her medical history to details about our lives in New York as he worked.

He confirmed that Bella was pregnant almost immediately after he began. I'd already accepted that was going to be the case. There were too many signs to ignore.

He continued to examine her, hoping to determine more. I climbed onto the makeshift bed next to her, circling my arms around her. Her terror was plain but I forced myself to remain calm, meticulously following Carlisle's thoughts as he worked. Reminding myself that he had yet to find anything alarming was all that kept me composed.

"The baby appears remarkably human," he commented eventually. He seemed surprised by this fact.

"Is it fully human?" Bella questioned. "Is that possible? With Edward…"

"Prior to today I wouldn't have said it was possible for the two of you to conceive a child at all, so I won't rule anything out. However, it is my guess that at this stage of the pregnancy human traits are more dominant. That may change as the baby develops."

Bella's voice trembled. "If vampire traits do become more pronounced over time and the baby becomes stronger… will I be able to…?"

He shrugged helplessly. "It's impossible to say. Based on your current hormone levels, it appears you are nearing the fifth month of gestation. However, the fetus seems extremely underdeveloped for such an advanced stage of pregnancy. Which is why I'm assuming vampire traits may be slow to develop. The baby may need additional time to grow… to be strong enough to handle the effect of having what is essentially venom present in his or her DNA."

Bella's brow furrowed in shock and her hand smoothed against her flat stomach. "Five months?"

Carlisle nodded. "It appears you will have a longer than average pregnancy. Given the unique circumstances, the only way to know for sure is to chart the baby's growth over time. As it stands, I'm anticipating somewhere in the neighbourhood of 12 to 15 months."

"So you're saying she will almost certainly carry the baby for more than a year?" I repeated, stroking Bella's back gently, hoping to soothe her. She clung to my other hand. "What do you estimate the likelihood of her successfully giving birth?"

"As it stands now, her chances are excellent. The baby is growing as a human baby would, merely slower. It poses no threat to Bella. It's unique situation, though. I can't say for certain that nothing will change by the time she delivers."

Carlisle paused, clearing his throat before continuing. His tone softened. "Abortion remains a possibility, should you choose that route. I'd recommend deciding whether you want to see the pregnancy through as soon as possible. The further along in the pregnancy, the more traumatic the event would be."

He gestured to the door. "I'll leave you to discuss the matter in private."

The veneer of privacy was flimsy as all the occupants of the house could hear us through the door no matter how low our voices. I appreciated the courtesy nonetheless.

Bella's fingers tightened around mine as Carlisle slipped out of the room. "I'm scared," she admitted.

"I am, too. I'm terrified of losing you. I don't know who I am without you anymore."

I kissed her gently, unable to imagine a world where I wouldn't be able to.

"Even though I'm scared, I want this so badly. To have your baby…" Her eyes shone and her hand, still knotted with mine, drifted to cover her stomach. "It's something I never dreamed was possible. To squander the opportunity out of fear seems stupid… especially since there's nothing to fear yet. It's just the unknown. It's worth the risk."

I kissed her gently. "I want that too. This baby is a piece of you. How could I not?"

"I guess that means we're having a baby, then," she said, a tear trickling off the end of her chin. "That decision was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I mean it's our baby. She deserves a chance at life. We made her and she's ours, whether we're prepared for her or not. We'll figure the rest out."

I frowned. "Her?"

The choice of pronoun was slightly terrifying. It hadn't yet sunk in that by this time next year, more likely than not, we would have an actual baby… a tiny person who would have a gender and a name and a personality.

Bella gave me a watery grin. "Yes, her. You're going to be a great daddy. I can see it now… our daughter will have you in the palm of her little hand. You'll let her put your hair in bows and sing lullabies to her and protect her from all the horrible boys trying to get her attention on the playground… because you're going to love her that much."

I laughed. "I wish I had your faith. Vampires weren't meant to be parents. You're the one who was meant to be a mother. The way you take care of the people you love… I have no doubts it was a role made for you. It made me sad to think that I would be taking that opportunity away from you."

"And now you won't."

I smiled, my own eyes stinging with tears I couldn't shed. "It seems not." I kissed her, unable to express the swelling emotion any other way. "Thank god it's with you. I can't imagine doing this with anyone else."

xx

I laid a sleeping Noah down in his bed. As much as I loved him, I was glad he slept. He was a handful when he was awake, so it was nice to get a little downtime. He didn't need nearly as much sleep as a human child would but he was out for a few hours each night.

Bella tiptoed into the room, like she did every time I put Noah to bed. I didn't know why she bothered trying to keep quiet. When he was asleep, he slept like a very adorable rock.

She pecked him on his forehead, smoothing his hair from his sleeping face. It sprung back under her hand, just as defiant as mine. Bella sighed, as had become a part of our nightly routine.

"He's so much like you," she commented casually.

I smiled and placed a kiss of my own on his soft cheek, pulling the blankets higher around him. "I'll take that as a compliment because he's amazing."

She nodded and sat next to me on the bed, watching our slumbering son. "I couldn't have asked for a better little boy. Do you remember when I was convinced that he was a girl?"

I chuckled. "Of course. You wouldn't be swayed. You were certain that I was going to give her everything she ever wanted and spoil her to death."

"I was right on everything but the gender," she insisted.

I had no defense because it was absolutely true.

"What are you doing in here, anyway?" I teased. "You're supposed to be enjoying your graduation party. Alice will be devastated if you're bored already."

She shrugged, wrapping her arms around me and laying her head on my chest. "I just wanted a little quiet time with my boys. I couldn't let Noah go to sleep without a goodnight kiss. Besides, the only person I want to dance with is in here. I got lonely watching everyone else pair off."

I pulled away to extend a hand to her. "Come on then, let's dance. I'm not going to let you use me as an excuse to hide away. Alice will not hesitate to kill me."

She tried to hide her smile but failed. "Okay. Since I'm married to you and all, I suppose I could spare _one_ dance."

"Alice set up an open bar," I reminded her with a kiss. "I'm sure once I get a few glasses of wine in you, you'll change your mind."

Alice accosted us when we exited the room hand in hand. "There you guys are." She gave Bella a look. "I know you hate being the centre of attention but you only graduate once," she said with a secret smile. "We're going to cut the cake soon."

She pointed at the pristine white buttercream that only half of those in attendance would eat. "I can see that you're going to dance with Edward, though, so ten minutes?"

Bella nodded, taking my hand and leading me to the makeshift dance floor littered with a handful of our friends and family. Our furniture had been artfully rearranged by Alice to maximize the flow in the limited space.

We'd moved to a larger apartment in our building shortly after Noah had been born. It still wasn't as spacious as I would have liked, but Bella loved the building and wanted to stay. It was large enough to give Noah space to roam around or to host a small gathering of friends and family and I supposed that was all we really needed.

Alice had done of a lovely job of decorating it with tasteful white and pale blue ribbons commemorating Bella's graduation. The celebration was hers alone as I'd opted to finish my masters in a joint program with Julliard before I graduated.

I was so proud she'd made it this far. Raising a precocious toddler and balancing school wasn't an easy task and she'd done it without compromising her studies or Noah's childhood. It had taken a little longer than she expected, but I'd never been more proud of her. I couldn't wait to see what she accomplished next.

Bella's cheek settled against my shoulder as we swayed to the soft music Alice had set in the background. Everyone milling about faded to a background hum, except a single pair of eyes.

Charlie sat in one of the recliners, watching us like a hawk.

Though Bella and I had been married for three years now, I had never quite managed to get back into his good books after we'd announced she was pregnant.

He was at constant attention, making sure Bella was as happy as she appeared to be. Now that I had a little boy, I understood how he felt. I would do whatever it took to maintain his happiness, whether it seemed irrational or not.

Bella pulled my face to hers, well aware her father was watching our every move. "We're married. We have a child. What's he going to do?" she whispered against my lips before I could pull back more than an inch.

I let her kiss me, unable to resist the temptation. After six years together, I'd made peace with my inability to tell her no. I was content to let the world know how much I adored my wife.

xx

By the end of her eighth month of pregnancy, Bella's stomach had curved with our baby to the point that loose clothes could no longer hide the burgeoning bump. Just as Carlisle had predicted, it had been a slow development. She appeared to be a little more than halfway through her pregnancy at the point most women would be close to giving birth.

Bella had insisted that we return to New York so she could continue to work toward her degree through the duration of her pregnancy. She had argued that if the baby posed no danger to her there was no harm in getting the first year out of the way while she was pregnant. I vowed to make sure she got the rest and relaxation she needed in between hitting the books.

At first, Carlisle had been wary letting her out of his sight. He had recently signed a contract with Forks General tying him to Forks for another year. He had been hoping Bella would stay near so he could monitor the baby's growth but understood her desire to return to Manhattan. Rosalie had promised to oversee Bella's health and to keep him in the loop as the pregnancy progressed.

Rosalie held several medical degrees, so he could hardly object. Though she didn't share his ability to withstand blood to the same degree, her utter devotion to our unborn child made her more than careful. She treated Bella like a fragile and precious treasure and spoke of the baby with soft reverence.

Over the next months emailing and skyping with Carlisle and Esme became a regular part of our routine. Though they shared no blood relation to the baby, they acted the part of proud grandparents to a tee, gushing over Bella's growing tummy and the ultrasound pictures that Rosalie took with great care on a weekly basis. Our baby would have the most complete baby scrapbook on record thanks to her meticulous note taking of every development, no matter how minor.

By the end February and the ninth month of Bella's pregnancy, Rosalie quietly suggested it might be time for us to alert Renee and Charlie of the baby's existence, if we planned on doing so. Bella had only a few months left before she was due to give birth.

The baby's development was moving more quickly now and it seemed our baby would be due sometime in the summer. The baby had yet to manifest any real vampire traits. To an outsider, it would appear the baby's growth was progressing normally if we claimed she was approaching the end of her fifth month.

Bella and I had debated about whether or not we wanted to tell them.

"I think they deserve to know," she claimed, laying a hand on the roundness of her stomach. "This is their only chance to have a grandchild. I don't want to take that away from them."

I kissed her gently, twining my fingers with hers. "I think they deserve to know, too. But there are other considerations." I paused, unsure how to bring up the delicate subject. "We don't know for sure that the baby won't seem different to them."

"Rosalie says she still seems mostly human and she expects me to be due in less than five months. I've made it through nine so far. How much could she possibly change in the next few months?"

"You're still set on a girl?" I questioned, a smile growing at the thought of having a little girl with Bella's delicate features and dark colouring, though I had been doing my best to remain neutral when the subject came up.

She nodded, her smile matching mine. "Yeah. Rosalie says she should be able to tell by now but the baby's in an awkward position. Carlisle's old ultrasound machine isn't helping. She thinks it's a girl too."

I rolled my eyes. "She only thinks that because girls have a much larger selection of clothing. Between her and Alice, our daughter is going to own a Babies R' Us worth of clothing before she's even born. I'm not moving to another apartment to accommodate a baby closet."

"They're just excited," Bella protested. "It's sweet. I love that they're so happy for us. They've been so great throughout all of this." She kissed me. "Almost as great as you."

I returned her kiss with more intensity, very aware of the bump separating us. At times it was still surreal that she was carrying my child… that I was going to be a father in a few months' time. Somehow, the amazing girl in my arms had made dreams I didn't know I had into reality.

She pulled away with a gasp and we both glanced down, having felt the flutter of our child moving. I pulled her into my lap, placing both my hands on her stomach, hoping to feel a repeat. When it happened again a few minutes later, I wasn't quite prepared for the welling of emotion.

I pressed a kiss to Bella's temple, caressing her stomach. She had never been more beautiful or sexier to me than she was in this moment. "Amazing."

Her eyes met mine, shining brightly. "That's our baby. Ours. Yours and mine. She's really in there."

"Yeah," I managed to say around the lump in my throat. "She is. She's going to be beautiful. Just like her mother."

"This is why we have to tell my parents," Bella said quietly, her hand settling on top of mine. "Maybe they'll be upset at first but in the end, they'll be happy. They deserve a chance to get to know her."

Telling Renee went more smoothly than we could have hoped. There were no harsh words or disapproving looks. I suppose we should have known. Renee's lax, easygoing approach to parenting was well documented.

Bella and I had sat in front of her laptop's webcam, our hands joined as Renee's smiling face appeared onscreen. Bella's palm was damp against mine, a sure sign of her nerves. Renee didn't seem to notice her daughter's wavering smile.

"Hey, baby," she greeted Bella, who looked a little sick at her choice of endearment. "How's everything going? Are you and Edward enjoying Columbia?"

I nodded when Bella bit her lip, unsure how to begin. "School has been going great," I informed, leaning to kiss Bella's cheek. "Bella was on the dean's list for the fall semester."

Renee smiled, clasping her hands. "That's lovely, sweetheart. Is that what you wanted to tell me?"

Bella shook her head, taking a deep, shaky breath. "Not exactly. Um, I'm not quite sure how to tell you. Maybe I should just show you."

Bella turned to me, her eyes begging for my support. I gave her my most reassuring smile. Her hand gripped mine tighter and I helped her stand so Renee could see her swollen belly. I pressed a soft kiss to her abdomen as she stood, hoping it would provide some comfort.

"You're pregnant?" Renee gasped after several long seconds. She kept her smile at bay. "Are we happy about this?"

Bella settled back into her seat so she could see her mother. "You're not mad?"

Renee shook her head. "Of course not. You're an adult. You chose to have sex with full understanding of the repercussions. If you're choosing to have this baby, I know you've considered it carefully. I had you at eighteen. It would be awfully unfair of me to reprimand you for being irresponsible."

Tears trailed down Bella's cheeks. She had been a lot more emotional than usual lately. "I have considered it, I promise. We want this baby. Edward and I, we're going to love her so much. Though it's unexpected, we couldn't be happier."

Renee wiped her own glassy eyes. "Then I'm happy for you. I can't say I expected to be a grandmother before I turned forty, but my baby is having a baby. I can't be upset about that. You're fortunate to have a good man to share it with. Just like I did. Charlie and I have had our differences but he's always been a good daddy. It doesn't hurt that you've secured excellent genes for your baby, either." She winked.

Bella flushed. "Mom!"

"I'm just saying you're going to have a beautiful baby, sweetheart. I want to see lots of pictures, okay? If I'm going to be a grandma, I'm going to need pictures to put on my fridge."

"We'll keep your fridge covered," I promised. "With Rosalie and Alice standing at the ready, we're going to have more photographs of this baby than we know what to do with."

"Alice is in New York now, too?" Renee questioned.

Bella nodded. "After Greece, Alice and Jasper got a little homesick… they wanted to be near family. Alice enrolled at Parsons for the winter semester. Jasper's still figuring out what he wants to do."

"You'll have plenty of support then," Renee commented with a tender smile. "But if you need me, you know where I am. I'll be happy to answer any questions. Now, stand up again, will you? I need to see that baby. How many months are you?"

I helped Bella stand again, so Renee could see the curve of our child growing inside of her. Bella was wearing a tee shirt that clung to her frame, proudly displaying her pregnancy.

She rested a hand on her stomach and responded with as much honesty as possible, answering everything from questions about her pregnancy and the baby to what we were planning for the future. Renee's smile grew with each answer. Bella seemed more relaxed, too. Knowing that she had her mother's support had lightened her mood considerably.

"Does your father know, yet?" Renee asked.

Bella flushed deeply and cuddled into my lap so Renee could see us both onscreen.

"No. We're not sure how to tell him. Edward hasn't been in his good books since he found out we were living together. We have a feeling that telling him we're having a baby would be confirming his worst fears."

I stroked Bella's hair. She always got agitated when we discussed telling Charlie. She desperately wanted him to be happy but was certain that he would be ambivalent at best. She feared fury would come before acceptance.

Renee took a deep breath, looking very serious. "I'm going to tell you something. I don't want you to use this information lightly but I think it's important that you know."

Bella turned wide eyes to the screen, wondering what secret her mother could possibly have to share.

Renee continued quietly. "We never planned to have you. Your father and I got a little drunk at a party one night and next thing we knew, we were having you. We got married a month later. Charlie always wondered what would have happened if we had done things differently. He thinks he derailed my life and he's never quite forgiven himself for it. But the truth is, he just set me down a different path. A better one. I wouldn't trade you or the years I had with him for the world. If he gets upset, you remind him how everything worked out just fine with you."

Bella smiled. "Mom, I hate to break it to you, but it was kind of obvious I was an accident. Knowing you, I would have been shocked if I wasn't. Thank you for telling me, though."

Renee chuckled. "I thought you might be able to use the added leverage. Your father is as stubborn as a mule. I suppose that's where you got it from."

Telling Charlie was stressful to say the least. Though he didn't react quite like we'd expected, his reaction left a lot to be desired.

Shortly after Bella and I had left Washington, Charlie had found companionship with a widow from La Push. Neither Bella nor I knew her very well, but Sue Clearwater seemed like a perfect match for Charlie.

They both had past relationships they had never managed to bury completely. They understood one another and were exactly what the other needed. They were slow to label it love but it was clear they cared deeply about one another and were progressing at a pace that suited them.

Sue had brought several changes into Charlie's life, a shiny new laptop among them. She used it to communicate with her two grown kids that lived out of state. Charlie, always somewhat adverse to new technology, had been slow to adapt but couldn't deny the merits of being able to connect with Bella without the expense of plane tickets.

Bella chatted with him via video occasionally, usually with Sue hovering in the background, humming a tune as she stirred a pot, preparing her latest dinner feast.

She bent over the laptop, amused by Charlie's ineptitude when it came to using it. Charlie was in the background asking if it was on. She reminded him that the red light meant it was. It was a dialogue we'd heard several times.

"Hey, Bella, Edward," she greeted warmly. "I'm just going to go get dinner started. I'll leave you to talk with Charlie." She turned to him. "If you have any problems, babe, come and get me."

Bella shooed me away, tilting the laptop so I was out of view of the camera as her father's face appeared on the screen. We had decided it would be best if she told him about the baby on her own, before I got involved in the conversation.

Charlie rolled his eyes. "I can figure it out myself," he mumbled gruffly, turning pink and giving the screen a side-eye when Sue planted a kiss on his nose.

"Hey Dad," Bella greeted him with a grin.

It pleased her to see him in a new relationship. At one time she had doubted he would ever have that and the thought of him living a lonely life had weighed on her.

"Hey, Bells," he greeted, his tone soft in a way it only was for his daughter. "How's big city life treating you?"

"It's been fine." Bella shrugged, her hand slipping down to caress her belly nervously. Despite being prepared with Renee's insight, she was still terrified he would disapprove. I placed my hand over hers, ceasing her nervous movements, and raised her palm to my lips to so I could press a kiss against it.

Charlie frowned, his eyes mirroring his daughter's anxious ones. "Something wrong? You're acting a little strange over there."

"Nothing's wrong," Bella assured, though her fidgeting said otherwise. "Everything is great, actually. There's just something I need to tell you."

He waited expectantly.

"I'm pregnant."

He remained mute, his eyes glued to the screen. Bella peered at it and tapped the touchpad, wondering if the screen had frozen. I bit back a smile, amused that his first reaction was almost identical to mine.

"Dad?"

"Did - Did you say you were pregnant?" he sputtered, bursting back to life. "Pregnant! Tell me that's not what you said."

Bella bit her lip. "Edward and I are going to have a baby." His lips moved as if to comment but Bella cut him off. "We're happy about this. We'd really appreciate it if you could try to be, too."

He scoffed, scrubbing a hand on his chin. "You're nineteen, Isabella! And you're pregnant!" He shook his head. "Did you at least use protection? Don't tell me you were planning this! You're nineteen! Your whole life… changed. Did you stop to think about Columbia? What are you going to do when you have a _baby_?"

Bella's expression set stubbornly. "I'll still be able to finish my degree. And so what if I did plan it? It's my life and my body."

Charlie matched her stormy gaze. "Did Edward put you up to this? I never trusted that boy. If he forced you–"

Bella's glare could have melted the plastic of the screen. "He didn't put me up to anything. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I – I seduced him."

She exhaled loudly, making a physical effort to calm herself. "Look, I told you because I thought you'd like to know you're going to be a grandfather, not so you could insult Edward and throw around accusations."

Charlie ground his teeth together, holding back anger. "I just don't understand how this happened. You were always so responsible."

"I'm not sorry it happened. Edward and I can handle this. We're responsible adults capable of dealing with this in a mature manner."

"The fact it happened at all says otherwise," Charlie countered coldly. "Where is Edward? Is he hiding, too afraid to man up to what he's done?"

"Dad, please," Bella growled lowly. "Stop blaming Edward. It's not his fault. I wanted to tell you on my own at first. He's right here." She turned the camera so Charlie could see me sitting next to her.

"Are you planning to marry my daughter?" He asked me bluntly.

I shook my head tentatively. "I asked her, sir, and she refused. She says she doesn't want us to get married because of the baby. I can assure you–"

"I don't want assurances from you!" he snapped. "I want to _know_ that my daughter is going to be taken care of! Are you planning to be a responsible father?"

Bella stood furiously, popping up between Charlie and I. He gasped as he took in the sight of her swollen stomach. It was clear he'd been expecting to find her in a less advanced stage of pregnancy.

She grabbed the laptop and turned it so it was facing her. "That's enough," she said firmly. "Mom told me_ I_ was an accident, so if you're going to be all high and mighty about this, you're the biggest hypocrite that ever lived. I turned out fine and my daughter will, too."

All the wind seemed to deflate from Charlie's sails. His voice lowered to a grumble. "Ah fuck. She told you about that?"

"She thought I would need all the help I could get, telling you," Bella explained dryly.

Charlie sighed, fighting to keep his attitude in check. He cleared his throat and ground his teeth. "So, uh, you're having a girl, huh?"

Bella shrugged. "We're not sure yet but I think so. It feels like a girl. Alice did that dangling string thing and it said the baby was a girl."

The line fell silent then, both father and daughter unsure what to say to drive the conversation forward.

Sue appeared next to Charlie with a slight smile. "I couldn't help but overhear. I just wanted to say congratulations. Don't worry about Charlie. He'll come around."

xx

"You put Noah to sleep already?" Renee pouted, noticing that our son wasn't with us.

"It's past eleven, Mom," Bella pointed out. "Kind of late for a four-year-old to still be up."

"But I get to see him so rarely. I was hoping to spend some more time with him." She clutched Phil's hand. "I'm over the hill now. Phil and I are never going to have children. Noah is all I have."

Bella chuckled at her mother's melodramatic attitude. "He'll still be here tomorrow. And he won't be falling asleep when you try to play with him."

Renee brightened. "Oh, we have to go to the zoo! That's what grandparents do with their grandchildren, isn't it? When Charlie or I visit, we're supposed to take him off your hands so the two of you can get in some much needed alone time. It'll be so much fun. For everyone." She winked.

"Sure, fun," Charlie muttered from the couch, trying to push away thoughts of what "fun alone time" consisted of for Bella and I. Sue, who he had married two summers ago, patted his knee consolingly.

"That sounds lovely, Renee," she assured, "Charlie and I would love to accompany you and Phil and Noah to the zoo. We don't see him enough either." She nudged Charlie. "And when we do, this one here gets him all immersed in silly sports things."

I pulled Bella away, to go mingle with 'my' side of the family. The Cullens had come to feel like extended family. Noah referred to Carlisle and Esme as his grandpop and grandma and all the others as his aunts and uncles, so in a way they actually were like our family now. Noah adored them and there was no one else I trusted with him as much as them. Even Emmett.

Rosalie had formed an especially close bond with Noah. While Bella and I worked through our degrees, there were times when neither of us could be with him. During those times, Rosalie was always the first to volunteer to babysit. She adored having a child to take care of, though she was careful not to overstep her bounds, respecting that Bella was his mother.

The role she took on was more like that of an adored teacher. She was always the first to encourage him to learn new things. Her latest project was teaching him to speak in fluent Spanish.

"He's conjugating verbs correctly, now," she gushed, her eyes shining as she reported his progress. Esme and Carlisle had been asking about his latest adventures.

Though they had moved closer a few years ago, they had only come as far as the suburbs. They had decided mellow, suburbanite life was more up their alley than the bustling city life the rest of us lived. As a result, we tended to see them a little less than the others, though they were still very much a part of Noah's life.

Jasper chuckled. "You're turning the little guy into quite the prodigy. He can speak what, three languages now?"

"Extraordinary for a four-year-old," Carlisle commented. "He's in a league of his own."

Rosalie beamed at the compliment. "We're still working on the Spanish, but he should be completely fluent in a month or two. After that, I'm thinking we should learn Portuguese."

Emmett rolled his eyes at his mate's enthusiasm. "Rose, we know you think the sun shines out of Noah's ass, and I love the kid to death, but can't we talk about something else for one night?"

Rosalie gave him a look. "He's four, Emmett. We have to enjoy him while we have him. Before we know it, he's going to be all grown up and leaving to go out in the world."

"But hopefully not anywhere in South America because, god forbid, he doesn't know how to speak Portuguese yet," Emmett said flatly.

Bella chuckled but shushed them both. "No talking about Noah leaving. Rosalie's right, he's growing up too fast."

"Technically he's growing up slower than other kids," Emmett couldn't help but add, earning him looks from the females. He was quick to change the subject. "So B, now that you're an old university graduate, what's next?"

Bella smiled and shrugged. "I haven't decided yet. I'm keeping my options open."

"You've already married Ed. I think you gave up 'options' a while ago."

Rosalie smacked Emmett's chest. "Is that how you feel, too?"

Emmett sobered. "Of course not. We're totally different. You're the most beautiful woman to ever grace the earth. I scored out of my league. Whereas Bella got stuck with Edward who is hideously flawed in a multitude of ways, obviously."

Rosalie kissed him. "You're sweet. Even if you do need to put down other men to establish your masculinity."

Emmett scoffed but wisely decided not to dig the hole any deeper.

"I've never been more jealous that you can still drink," I whispered to Bella, eyeing the bar Alice had set up. "I think I understand why large family gatherings tend to go hand in hand with alcohol."

Bella stood to kiss me. She tasted sweet, like buttercream. "It's getting late, they're all going to be heading home soon. There's something I want to talk to you about when they do."

As we dressed for bed that evening she brought up the subject again. "You know that thing I wanted to talk to you about?"

I nodded, cuddling up next to her in our bed. I still curled up with her while she slept each night. It had become a habit early on in our relationship and I refused to give it up, though I was usually up with Noah before the sun rose so that Bella could continue to rest in peace.

She twisted her hands together nervously. "Well, what I wanted to talk about was the possibility of you changing me. I'm 23 now… I've finished my degree. I'm ready. And Noah's old enough to understand…"

I stroked her hair, unable to contain my jubilance. Though I would never force the choice on her, I had started to wonder if she had decided against becoming a vampire.

"Are you sure? It's forever, you know."

I needed to be absolutely positive she would have no regrets.

She held my gaze, her tone sincere. "You know why I was holding off. I was hoping…"

"That Noah would have a sibling," I finished.

Though we had never spoken about it, it had been implicit. By the time Noah's second birthday rolled around, the contraception we'd been using after his birth was abandoned. Though we weren't actively trying for a baby, we weren't trying not to have one, either.

She bit her lip and nodded. "I don't know what it was that brought him to us. Maybe it _was_ a miracle. Though I'm sad that I won't be able to give him a brother or a sister, he's more than I could have ever asked for."

I ran a hand through her dark tresses. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "I'm not. I've had a blessed life. It just wasn't meant to be."

I pulled her close, unable to stand letting her settle for second best. "How about this? We give it until your birthday. We'll do all we can to try and have another baby. If it doesn't work out, then I'll change you."

Bella giggled, rolling us over so she straddled my hips. "How altruistic of you. Always thinking of me first."

I shrugged. "What can I say? It's a sacrifice, but I'm willing to have sex with you every day, multiple times a day, for the next four months. For your sake, of course."

Bella ducked her head to trail her lips along my jaw, her teeth scraping gently like she knew I liked. "What are you waiting for, then? Let's get started."

xx

"Are you sure, you're feeling up to going to class?" I asked Bella, placing a hand on her round stomach.

According to Rosalie's estimates, Bella was mere weeks away from giving birth yet she insisted upon going about her schedule as usual. As long as Rosalie held off prescribing bed rest, going about her life as normal was fair game according to Bella. I was half tempted to bribe Rosalie into doing it for my peace of mind.

Bella stood on her toes to kiss me, a task made somewhat daunting by the baby bulging between us. "You'll be right there. We both know you can't stay away."

She was right, of course. Though she'd finished classes in April like I had, she'd opted to take summer courses, hoping to get ahead so she could take time off when the baby was born. I'd opted not to sign up for classes of my own. My mate and my unborn child were the two most important things in my life. I wasn't planning on letting her out of my sight until she delivered.

Bella sat in the third row, close to the front but not close enough to draw added attention to herself. Being heavily pregnant brought enough attention as far as she was concerned.

Though we'd made a few scattered friends throughout our classes, to most people we were a cautionary tale of what could go wrong if you weren't careful enough. What seemed to surprise everyone most was how supportive I was of her and how happy we seemed. Since I was usually by Bella's side, no one ever voiced their derisive opinions though their disbelief was loud and clear in their thoughts.

As a rule, females were a lot kinder than males, happy to gush over how cute our baby would be and how jealous they were. Most of them were anything but, though there were a few who considered what it might be like to trade places with Bella and have my child. When I told Bella, she scoffed and claimed I was too pretty for my own good.

I offered to take notes on her behalf as she squirmed in her seat, trying to get comfortable. The half-desks attached to the seats made it a precarious task. I wondered how she had expected to get back up if I hadn't come with her.

She took the notebook from me with a defiant look. "I can do it. I'm pregnant, not mentally ill."

I kissed her forehead, amused. "Still as stubborn as ever."

She smirked. "You'd think you'd be used to it by now. I appreciate that you're trying to make this easier on me but taking notes is something I know I can handle."

Bored out of my mind, I settled for listening to the baby's thoughts while Bella listened to the lecture. In the last few months, the baby had grown to the point I could make sense of his emotions and most basic thoughts. (The girls were all still convinced the baby was female, though I thought the recent ultrasounds looked more like a boy. I hadn't voiced my opinion for fear of castration.)

The baby was most responsive when Bella's stomach was being touched, so I placed my palm on her bump. The baby's thoughts rumbled happily, abstract concepts like 'warm' and 'safe' distinct in the jumble.

Bella shook her head at me, a smirk pulling at her lips. "You're very distracting, you know."

I pulled my hand away. "Sorry. I like listening to him."

Her brow furrowed. "I thought we agreed it was a girl? We're going to name her after your mother. Rosalie said the ultrasound confirmed it was a girl."

I gave her a sheepish look. "I thought it looked like a boy. I've been reading all those books Rosalie has on obstetrics and I think she got it wrong."

"But we haven't even picked out a boy name," Bella insisted. "It has to be a girl. Rosalie's been to medical school twice. She specialized in pediatrics. I think she knows what she's talking about."

I shrugged, not willing to push the issue. Anything that riled her up wasn't good for her or the baby. I clutched her free hand in mine while she continued taking notes.

Less than ten minutes to the end of the class, her fingers tightened around mine. I gave her a questioning look. She shot me a reassuring smile, though her fingers remained clamped around mine in a vice grip.

It was only when we were walking out the door that she whispered to me that she was pretty sure she had felt a contraction.

In a moment of sheer panic, I swept her off her feet, past the crowd of students leaving the hall and deposited her in the Vanquish. I was moving too fast, but I didn't care. My mate was about to have a baby. If there was ever a time when "adrenaline rush" was a valid excuse, this was it.

"How could you not tell me?" I grumbled as I threw the car into drive.

"It didn't hurt _too_ much," she countered. "And it was just a few minutes until class was over. I didn't want to cause a commotion."

"Only you would think not causing a disruption is more important than going into labour." I refrained from rolling my eyes, wanting to remain calm for Bella's sake.

She had to be panicking inside. I pulled her hand to my lips kissing it and placing it on my lap. She gave me a shaky smile and squeezed my thigh.

As it turned out, there was no rush. By the time we got to our apartment ten minutes later, Bella had yet to suffer another contraction. I was certain her labour was underway, regardless. When I placed my hand on her stomach, I could feel the subtle tightening of her muscles as they prepared for our baby's entrance into the world.

Rosalie was at our side in an instant, quick to confirm that Bella and I were going to be parents today. Carlisle was called up on Skype, offering Rosalie advice on how to deal with the birth.

They decided a natural birth would be the safest option as it exposed the least blood. Though the baby still appeared predominantly human, they didn't want to take the risk.

Eighteen hours of screaming and frustrated grunting, hand squeezing and copious amounts of tears later, Rosalie handed Bella a yellow wrapped bundle.

No period of time had ever seemed so long in my life. Seeing Bella in so much pain was heartbreaking and there was absolutely nothing I could do but sit by her side and hold her hand as she endured it. I kissed her hair and whispered every soothing word I knew, praising how strong and brave she was.

As far as pregnancies went, hers had been a fairly easy one – aside from lasting an exorbitant length of time – but she had handled it with such grace. She dealt with her labour the same way. She never yelled that she hated me or couldn't stand to look at my face, even as painful contractions ripped through her. I cringed more than she did. She managed to smile and laugh through the pain and her fatigue. I was so proud of her.

When Rosalie deposited our son into Bella's arms, she sniffed back tears, overwhelmed with love. She allowed me to kiss her, sweat and tears tangling on her cheeks.

"It's a boy," Rosalie said wryly. "He's going to be wearing yellow for a while. We don't have much in the way of blue."

Bella ran a thumb down his soft cheek when he whimpered. "You and Alice will have rectified that by tomorrow, I'm sure."

Rosalie smiled. "I'll let you get to know the little guy. I'm going to go let Carlisle know everything went off without a hitch. All the others say congratulations, by the way," she informed, referring to Alice, Jasper and Emmett, all of whom were waiting in our living room.

I kissed the baby's forehead, unable to tear my eyes away. He gurgled and wiggled in his mother's arms, peering up at us with the wide grey-blue eyes most infants shared.

For the most part he appeared human, though there were a few telltale signs of his vampire heritage. Though his skin was as soft as satin, it was durable, too, much more so than a human baby's should have been. His thoughts were sharper than most infants' also; he was more aware of the world around him and had clearer sight and keener hearing than most newborns. His senses were a mere shadow of those vampires had, but it seemed as he grew stronger, so would his vampire traits.

"He's so beautiful, love."

Bella clutched him tighter to her chest. "I know. I can't believe he's ours. We get to keep him forever."

"A boy," I smiled. I brushed his tiny fist with my finger. His whole hand was barely larger than my thumb. "What are we going to call him? We can't name him Elizabeth."

"I still can't believe you were right." She grinned so I knew she wasn't upset he wasn't a girl. I couldn't imagine anyone being upset to see him. "All the signs pointed to him being a girl."

"It was a really old ultrasound machine," I shrugged. "And dangling a string is hardly scientific."

"We could name him after you," Bella suggested. "He looks like you." She lifted the little cap that covered a smattering of dark hair that matched her own. It stood on end. "His hair is just as crazy. And it looks like when his irises darken he's going to have your eyes."

"My human eyes," I corrected with a smile. "You've never seen them in colour before. I hope you're not disappointed."

She kissed me. "He's gorgeous already. It doesn't matter if his eyes turn purple. Where are we on naming him Edward?"

"We're not naming him after me. It's bad enough I got a recycled name. I'm not doing it to him. He deserves his own name."

Bella gazed at him. He gazed back steadily, reaching a little arm up to grab at her face. She cooed and smiled at him.

"What are we supposed to name the most unique baby in the world? He's one of a kind. On Noah's ark, he'd be all alone representing his species."

"What about Noah?"

Bella giggled. "I like it. It'll be our little inside joke. What do you think?" she asked the baby, wiggling his little fist. "Do you think your name should be Noah?"

The baby tilted his head, his little face seeming to bear a look of puzzlement. Already he thought his parents were crazy and he wasn't even an hour old.

"He likes it," I confirmed. "He's very happy to meet us. He loves the way your voice sounds. Even that 'Noah' word. He likes it when you laugh best, though."

"You can tell all of that from his thoughts?" She asked as she passed him to me, letting me hold my son for the first time.

I nodded, stroking his fuzzy head. He squirmed in pleasure at all the attention he was getting. "He's very aware of his surroundings. He's going to be brilliant, I can tell."

"Beautiful and brilliant, just like his daddy," Bella teased.

xx

"Hey Daddy!" Noah greeted when I plucked him from his bed as was our usual morning routine. I used the word "morning" loosely as he was usually awake long before dawn.

Bella slept in until seven each morning, so it was always just the two of us beginning the day together. I was always waiting at Noah's bedside when his eyes opened so his mother could continue to rest without him bursting into our bedroom.

"Good morning. Are you hungry?" I settled my pajama-clad son on my hip.

He yawned, his head bobbing against my shoulder. "Can I have cereal?"

"You want a nice big bowl of raisin bran?" I suggested Bella's favourite cereal, teasing him.

He made a face. "Raisins are icky. I want to have lucky charms."

I smiled, amused by his childish innocence. Though his intelligence was far beyond his years, he was still an average four-year-old in a lot of ways that mattered. Emotionally, he was like any other child, innocent to the horrors of the world. Things still had the potential to be "icky."

I put him in his seat at the kitchen table, placing a bowl full of his cereal of choice in front of him with a healthy dose of milk. Between him and Bella I'd become quite competent at preparing human food over the years. Today's selection was among the easiest in my repertoire.

He crunched away at his breakfast, his little mind moving at a mile a minute considering all the things he wanted to do today.

"Your grandparents on Mommy's side are going to come over later to take you to the zoo," I informed him. Renee had been so excited about spending the day with her grandson. "They miss you."

A bright smile lit his face. "I love the zoo! Are they going to take me to see the monkeys? Mommy's scared of them. She doesn't like to see them."

I chuckled at the reminder of Bella's irrational fear. When we had gone to the zoo for Noah's second birthday, we had discovered that she was terrified of the primates, though she could never quantify what it was about them that horrified her so much. She suffered through their exhibit for Noah's sake, with her face buried in my shoulder. Noah was quick to move on, fully aware of his mother's distress.

"I'm sure they will, as long as you're on your best behaviour. And you remember that–"

"I can't talk to them about vampire stuff," he interrupted, his frustrated inflection identical to Bella's. "You remind me _every_ time, Daddy. I'm four now. I already know."

"I just don't want you to get in trouble. The Volturi aren't very nice to people who don't listen to the rules and I want you to be safe."

He nodded, his jade eyes turning serious. "I'll be good."

I kissed his dark hair. "I know. But I'm your daddy. I worry no matter what."

He shrugged, spooning up the last of his cereal. "You and Mommy worry way too much. You guys need to be like Uncle Emmett. He doesn't worry about anything."

I chuckled, cleaning up his bowl and handing him a glass of juice. "Why do you think Uncle Emmett is in trouble with Auntie Rosalie so much?"

Noah considered that. "I think it's because he never listens when she talks to him," he surmised. "She's always really loud when she wants something. If he listened he would know that."

I ruffled his hair. "Only four and already you've managed to learn something that Uncle Emmett never has. Now come on, today's chess day."

Each day of the week, we had a different quiet activity for while we waited for Bella to wake up. Sometimes some of the others would join us but usually it was just the two of us.

I set up the beautiful marble chessboard that Bella had given Noah for his last birthday. The polished stone pieces gleamed in the low light. I gestured to the board, letting him select his pieces, though there was no need.

Noah always chose white. He liked going first.

He considered his first move carefully before selecting a pawn. I always did my best to stay out of his head, not wanting to take an unfair advantage. It wasn't uncommon for him to beat me when I did.

A few minutes into our third game and tie-breaker, Bella stumbled out of our bedroom, her hair a mess from the night before. She'd brushed it out but until she showered, there wasn't much she could do about it.

She plopped onto my lap, pausing to kiss Noah as she passed him.

"Morning," she greeted us both.

I gave her a soft good morning kiss while Noah ignored us, still deeply embroiled in deciding whether to move his rook or his knight.

He was accustomed to the two of us being affectionate in front of him and accepted it as a fact of life. We wanted him to know his parents were in love and that there was nothing embarrassing about it.

"Move the knight," Bella stage-whispered to him after taking a quick inventory of the board. "Daddy'll be stuck in four moves."

He glanced up at her suspiciously and eventually settled on moving the rook. Bella had been right. If he'd moved the knight, it would have been checkmate in four moves. Noah had figured out a way to reduce it to two.

"Well, I can see why you don't want to play with me any more," Bella teased him. "You're getting too good for me to keep up."

Noah shrugged and gave her a beautiful smile. "I don't mind. I like winning."

Bella and I both laughed.

"Why don't you go get dressed, baby?" she suggested. "Nana Renee and Grandpapa Charlie are going to be here soon. You wouldn't want to miss the zoo."

Noah shot up off his chair, heading for his bedroom.

Bella hooked an arm around my neck, kissing me more deeply than she would have with Noah in the room.

"Last night was perfect," she hummed, her eyes bright. "I hope you're ready, because as soon as he's out the door, I have plans for you."

"I'm ready for anything," I promised.

And I was.

xx

_Fin._

xx


End file.
